Speaker 1: Today's episode of Timeless Wisdom.
Speaker 2: Why are we made to feel like freaks? If if
Speaker 2: we need sex?
Speaker 3: I mean, who's making you feel wait? Wait wait wait
Speaker 3: wait wait.
Speaker 2: That's that's how we feel lot.
Speaker 4: No, no, okay, there are two separate there are three
Speaker 4: separate issues. But let me tell you who, who, God forbid,
Speaker 4: is making you feel like a freak?
Speaker 2: Me, my husband.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, that's coming up on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of
Speaker 1: hours of Dennis's lectures courses in classic radio programs. Had
Speaker 1: to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to Dennisprager dot com.
Speaker 3: I'm old fashioned.
Speaker 4: I like two sexes.
Speaker 3: I don't know, I think all of a sudden, I don't.
Speaker 5: Like being married to what is known as a new woman.
Speaker 5: I want a wife, not a competitor.
Speaker 4: Competitor, competitor, talk about a bit, this crying in the
Speaker 4: morning thing.
Speaker 6: It's depression, you know, let's get that fixed.
Speaker 7: That's me, isn't it what?
Speaker 4: Unless you've got the answer, let's you can say.
Speaker 7: Oh, I know this bloke in the essex rodical fixer,
Speaker 7: and there's my point bothering, How.
Speaker 3: Do you write women so well?
Speaker 7: I think of a man and I take away reason
Speaker 7: and accountability.
Speaker 8: I love him.
Speaker 3: I love him and I don't care what you think.
Speaker 5: I love him for the for the man he wants
Speaker 5: to be, and I love him for the man that
Speaker 5: he almost is.
Speaker 3: What do people have rowse about him? Money?
Speaker 4: Sex, sex, money he wants, she doesn't want, she wants,
Speaker 4: he doesn't want women.
Speaker 1: I've always been a big problem to me.
Speaker 3: Doctor fusspend by listening. Doctor yes, yes, yes, go on, b.
Speaker 4: Hi, everybody, Welcome to the Male Female Hour on the
Speaker 4: Dennis Brager Show. Every week at this hour, I talk
Speaker 4: about men and women. I call it the Male Female Hour.
Speaker 4: I've explained that, and I won't now because I'm getting
Speaker 4: into a subject that is very delicate, as it often
Speaker 4: is on this topic. What gives me the courage, and
Speaker 4: it takes some courage to do this is your reaction. Frankly,
Speaker 4: your reactions have been so powerful. I will read to
Speaker 4: you a letter from a woman married fourteen years, and.
Speaker 8: It is.
Speaker 4: The reason for my hesitation is because I have to
Speaker 4: announce this is not this hour will not be for
Speaker 4: little kids. I think it is your call on early teenage,
Speaker 4: mid teenage and older. I think it could be useful.
Speaker 4: I mean, the kids are not living in submarines these days.
Speaker 4: But I just need to tell you that if they're
Speaker 4: under teenage, I don't think that this is for them, so,
Speaker 4: but it is for you if you have a little kid.
Speaker 4: So either send the kid out of the room, you know,
Speaker 4: if you're driving, just drop the kid off somewhere. Come
Speaker 4: back on the freeway later I'll have the kid. Send
Speaker 4: the kid to some mall shop. Because I really want
Speaker 4: you to hear this. All right, listen to this letter here.
Speaker 4: And I won't even give her first name, nor her
Speaker 4: husband's name, let alone even the city. All right, but
Speaker 4: here is a letter that I received very recently. Dear
Speaker 4: mister Prager, I have been married for fourteen years to
Speaker 4: my husband. Are okay, and we have two young boys.
Speaker 4: My husband is listening to your show on a regular basis,
Speaker 4: and he is quoting you quite often.
Speaker 3: By the way, Well, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 4: I have a feeling that it's a year and woman here,
Speaker 4: but I'm not certain about it any It doesn't matter really.
Speaker 4: He has made many attempts for me to listen to
Speaker 4: your shows, but without success. He recently became more creative
Speaker 4: and started downloading your podcasts than putting them in my
Speaker 4: car CD player. That, by the way, is worthy of
Speaker 4: its own topic. The efforts that this man made to
Speaker 4: have his wife here this show. And it could go
Speaker 4: in both directions, by the way, often it's the wife
Speaker 4: wanting the husband to I am as convinced as one
Speaker 4: can be that I have a fifty to fifty male
Speaker 4: female audience. But this man did not give up to
Speaker 4: his credit for and you will see to his benefit.
Speaker 4: So first thing, when I start my car, bam, the
Speaker 4: Happy Hour song came on, and here goes Dennis Prager
Speaker 4: singing along. I thought of my husband and told myself, okay, honey,
Speaker 4: you put a smile on my face. That's cute, but
Speaker 4: I shut it off. I am a bit stubborn, but
Speaker 4: so is my husband. He then recorded for me the
Speaker 4: Male Hour. Isn't that funny that she calls it the
Speaker 4: veil hour?
Speaker 3: It's called the female hour, But that's what that's the
Speaker 3: part she heard.
Speaker 4: And this time I actually listened to you, mister Prager.
Speaker 4: And when I heard these women calling and telling how
Speaker 4: their husbands were pursuing them and never.
Speaker 3: Could get enough of them.
Speaker 4: I was shocked and immediately realized that my husband was
Speaker 4: not a pervert obsessed with having all with having relations
Speaker 4: with me. I understood my husband and realized how much
Speaker 4: he she capitalizes. He loves me and only me, and
Speaker 4: I immediately felt bad, felt bad for nickolecting my husband,
Speaker 4: felt bad for thinking that he was only lusting after me,
Speaker 4: And I started and started telling myself how selfish I
Speaker 4: have been all these years, how devoted.
Speaker 3: He is to me.
Speaker 4: Every day that goes by, every day he has been
Speaker 4: telling me he loves me, and how pretty I am
Speaker 4: and how hot I am. And I always thought that
Speaker 4: he was saying that because he wanted something from me.
Speaker 4: How much time have I wasted in my marriage? But
Speaker 4: now I look at him and I truly feel special.
Speaker 4: I truly know he loves me and only me, and
Speaker 4: I love him more and only him. I get it,
Speaker 4: mister Prager, I get it, and I thank you to
Speaker 4: opening my eyes to a truly wonderful, loving husband. This
Speaker 4: for this letter alone, I am beyond happy that I
Speaker 4: made the male female hour if. But when you multiply
Speaker 4: this by thousands, two things happen. One, I realize how
Speaker 4: important it is to talk about these things, as difficult
Speaker 4: as it might be, and it is difficult. The other
Speaker 4: thing that I realize is how many millions, millions are
Speaker 4: suffering needlessly in their marriages. There are two tie I
Speaker 4: always say this, folks, there are two types of suffering.
Speaker 4: There is that which exists. There is the built in
Speaker 4: suffering that is inevitable to life. And there is gratuitous suffering,
Speaker 4: suffering we create for no good reason. There are millions
Speaker 4: of couples who have suffering, and there are millions of
Speaker 4: couples who have gratuitous suffering. There are so many aspects
Speaker 4: to this letter that I want to concentrate on and
Speaker 4: talk to you about on this edition of The Male
Speaker 4: Female Hour. One is the notion my husband's a pervert,
Speaker 4: my husband is over sex, hyper sex.
Speaker 3: A pervert, whatever it is that you might think.
Speaker 4: The odds are, my friends, the odds are that your
Speaker 4: husband is in fact not a pervert. Okay, just know
Speaker 4: that the odds are. What he is is a male.
Speaker 4: And if he's a male and he's not like you,
Speaker 4: that doesn't make him a pervert. It makes him a male.
Speaker 4: That's a Now there are guys who are I don't
Speaker 4: know if the word pervert even I'm sure there are,
Speaker 4: but although it's not what the world's easiest term to
Speaker 4: define one, one person's pervert is another person's adventurous lover.
Speaker 4: So that's a very very difficult term and not a
Speaker 4: very useful one, in my opinion, not a very useful
Speaker 4: one to use. And calling your husband that may not
Speaker 4: may not, shall we say, lead to a warmer marriage. Now,
Speaker 4: that's not to say that there are men who ask
Speaker 4: for things or something else that may be over the top.
Speaker 4: I'm sure that's true. But the average guy may albay
Speaker 4: seem like a pervert to the average woman when he
Speaker 4: is in fact not.
Speaker 3: He's just not you.
Speaker 4: It's almost like the average kid. The average boy probably
Speaker 4: seems like an incipient, you know, mall shooter when all
Speaker 4: he's doing is walking around with a gun and the
Speaker 4: mother is horrified. A toy gun, not a real gun.
Speaker 4: The average mother is horrified, Oh my god, my boy's
Speaker 4: walking around with his toy gun.
Speaker 3: He makes everything into a gun. Is he going to
Speaker 3: kill people? No, he's not. He's a boy. Boys like
Speaker 3: to shoot guns.
Speaker 4: One of the most important things is for each sex
Speaker 4: to know that they are not the other sex, but
Speaker 4: it's particularly important. I think men are far more aware
Speaker 4: that women are not they and do not have to
Speaker 4: be them than women are vice versa. We are not
Speaker 4: We are not hairy females, and we shouldn't be made
Speaker 4: into it, and we men should not allow you to
Speaker 4: make us into it. That's that's another issue. So number one,
Speaker 4: the number one point of this letter and why it
Speaker 4: was so touching, touching to me because now she realizes
Speaker 4: how much her husband loves her, he wanted relations more
Speaker 4: than she did.
Speaker 3: What a shock? What a shock?
Speaker 4: I mean, God, is that is this the only marriage
Speaker 4: that this happens to? I mean, obviously it happens so often,
Speaker 4: and she just thinking, Ah, this guy is the lust.
Speaker 3: Machine, and then so on. Then she will wait a minute,
Speaker 3: he wants me, he wants me.
Speaker 4: That that's beautiful, that's beautiful, it's not sick, it's not perverted.
Speaker 4: Now does that mean that there can't be limits or
Speaker 4: should be limits all right? Or we don't take both
Speaker 4: sexes into account? One eight Praguer seven seven six. I'll
Speaker 4: tell you more reasons why this is such an important letter,
Speaker 4: and I'll take your calls.
Speaker 6: This episode of timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
Speaker 6: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.
Speaker 4: Hi, everybody, you're listening to the Dennis Praguer Show, The
Speaker 4: Male Female Hour. I didn't give you the number one
Speaker 4: eight Praguer seven seven six. I fully acknowledge that the
Speaker 4: intent of this hour is to help the sexes understand
Speaker 4: each other and ideally help your marriages. I can't do that,
Speaker 4: and nobody can do that if we don't address real
Speaker 4: issues between men and women.
Speaker 3: Sex is one of them. This is not an hour for.
Speaker 4: Your kids under the under teenage years. I announced that
Speaker 4: at the outset, and I'm reminding you in case you
Speaker 4: didn't hear it then or well, actually, I can't remind
Speaker 4: you if you didn't hear it then, I see. I'm
Speaker 4: very precise, so much so I drive myself nuts sometimes.
Speaker 4: I am telling you for the first time, if you
Speaker 4: didn't hear it, then, I'm reminding you if you did
Speaker 4: hear it then and didn't.
Speaker 3: Act on it.
Speaker 6: Oh.
Speaker 4: I have a number of letters with the exact same
Speaker 4: point I read to you one. I'll read to you
Speaker 4: just an excerpt from this one. Let's see here and
Speaker 4: appreciate the difference between what a difference. You have relieved
Speaker 4: my mind thinking my husband was a pervert all those
Speaker 4: early years of my marriage.
Speaker 3: I love him more.
Speaker 4: Thanks. And this is another wife. Do you think your
Speaker 4: husband's a pervert? Now here's the problem with doing this
Speaker 4: on the radio. I can't you can't spell out specific
Speaker 4: desires that he might have because it is.
Speaker 3: Still public radio.
Speaker 4: I don't mean you know public NPR, but it is
Speaker 4: still public radio, and it is still family radio. Nevertheless,
Speaker 4: but I do want you to address this issue in
Speaker 4: your mind, or address it with me a man man
Speaker 4: and not a woman. And this letter was so powerful
Speaker 4: to me, the one that I had originally read to you,
Speaker 4: and how bad she now feels thinking this way about him.
Speaker 4: Let's take some calls here and we begin with the
Speaker 4: Los Angeles and Linda. Linda, Dennis Prager, thank you for calling.
Speaker 9: Good morning, Dennis.
Speaker 2: Hi.
Speaker 7: I just.
Speaker 9: Want to say that I hope a lot of women
Speaker 9: don't make the same mistake I did. I was married
Speaker 9: for thirty years and then I lost my husband to cancer.
Speaker 9: In the last few years, I didn't give in to him.
Speaker 9: And I know now after listening to you and doctor Laura,
Speaker 9: because she says the same thing. That's right, that they
Speaker 9: love us and they're so simple, and I'm so sad.
Speaker 4: Go on, eat through your tears, and I'm keeping you
Speaker 4: on because your message is so important.
Speaker 9: He was a wonderful man and he wasn't a pervert
Speaker 9: at all.
Speaker 7: He was gentle and kind and I was selfish. Oh please, ladies,
Speaker 7: let him love you and love him back.
Speaker 3: God bless you. You see. I do want you to
Speaker 3: know this in some way. What you can't do now
Speaker 3: for him, you are doing for others, and that that
Speaker 3: is so important. You're turning a mistake. It was, and
Speaker 3: it was a mistake.
Speaker 4: You you didn't have ill intent, but you're turning into
Speaker 4: a mistake into a blessing for others. I think it
Speaker 4: was one of the very first male female hours when
Speaker 4: I did this cover the subject that for the vast
Speaker 4: majority of men, no matter how much you are kind
Speaker 4: and loving and what a wonderful wife and mom and
Speaker 4: whatever else you are, if if you don't give him sex,
Speaker 4: he doesn't know you love him. You can call it simplistic.
Speaker 4: You can call it animalistic, you can call it male,
Speaker 4: you can call it anything you want. It's either true
Speaker 4: or not true. You can add your editorial comments all
Speaker 4: you like in your mind or with your girlfriends.
Speaker 3: The question is not to editorialize on what I just said.
Speaker 4: It's to it's to confront whether or not it is true.
Speaker 4: That is the is the single biggest way he knows
Speaker 4: you love him. You have ways in which he can
Speaker 4: show he loves you, and that's not one of them,
Speaker 4: by and large, as it happens, it's It may be
Speaker 4: on the list, but it's not top. It's not on
Speaker 4: the top of the list for the vast majority of women.
Speaker 3: For some women, it is.
Speaker 4: I can only talk in broad generalities. I can't talk
Speaker 4: about every human being under the sun. And these letters
Speaker 4: and and the call you just heard, and I am
Speaker 4: sure the marriages that are lost because of this.
Speaker 2: Is uh.
Speaker 3: Is just this is what I called the gratuitous pain
Speaker 3: of life.
Speaker 4: And let's go to National Park, New Jersey and John,
Speaker 4: the phone number here is one eighth Pregger seven seven six.
Speaker 3: Hello John, Dennis Prager, Hi Dennis.
Speaker 8: Thanks for taking my call.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 5: I think I was listening to the letter that the
Speaker 5: woman wrote to you, and it really sounded good. When
Speaker 5: I was a boy, when I was coming of age,
Speaker 5: my dad was not around, so my mom gave me
Speaker 5: the father and son talking, and I think it was
Speaker 5: an advantage for me because I got it from a
Speaker 5: woman's point of view. I remember her saying that there
Speaker 5: were times when her and my dad would have sex
Speaker 5: and afterwards he would roll over and go to sleep.
Speaker 5: And ever since then, that's always stayed in my mind
Speaker 5: that one of my goals when I'm with a woman
Speaker 5: is to please her. A lot of women have commented
Speaker 5: on that. One in particular, it said that she liked
Speaker 5: the way that I kept kissing and touching her even
Speaker 5: after or I was done, And I said there were uh, well,
Speaker 5: some men like to roll over and go to sleep,
Speaker 5: and she said, yeah, like my ex husband.
Speaker 3: Well, by the way, that's a very very valid point,
Speaker 3: very very valid. Men.
Speaker 4: Uh, this is not exactly asking you to swim the
Speaker 4: English channel. To continue to embrace and and and speak
Speaker 4: lovingly and for God's sake, stay awake. I don't think
Speaker 4: that that is too too grated. The bad on you guys.
Speaker 4: Once once your wife has has been that giving even
Speaker 4: though she's not in the mood. And what did they
Speaker 4: assess recently that a woman is in the mood? What
Speaker 4: eight hours a month or something? Just absolutely spontaneously aching
Speaker 4: for relations. I mean depending on age, obviously, some some
Speaker 4: you know a great deal of time obviously, but we're
Speaker 4: talking in the broad, the broad spectrum of men and women.
Speaker 4: So yes, that would be a great example of how
Speaker 4: you reciprocate for what is meaningful to her.
Speaker 3: What the key in life and in marriage.
Speaker 4: Is you do for the other what the other considers
Speaker 4: important when when possible, obviously, and mood can't be the issue.
Speaker 3: No, I don't know.
Speaker 4: Woman who says I'm not in the mood to get
Speaker 4: up the baby is crying will be what if your
Speaker 4: husband is crying? This is the Dennis Prager Show.
Speaker 6: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
Speaker 6: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.
Speaker 4: Hi, everybody, this is the Male Female Hour on the
Speaker 4: Dennis Prager Show. I read to you, and I'll reread
Speaker 4: a bit of it here a letter, and I have
Speaker 4: two letters using the exact same word. Women who thought
Speaker 4: their husbands were perverts because of the frequency that they would.
Speaker 3: Want or whatever.
Speaker 4: And the odds are, folks, that you're not married to
Speaker 4: a pervert. Okay, the odds are, and you're married to
Speaker 4: a male I've been married to my husband fourteen years,
Speaker 4: two young sons. And she explained how she he has
Speaker 4: been working to get her to listen to the show.
Speaker 4: He would even put it on so that when she
Speaker 4: turned on the podcast to turn on her car CD
Speaker 4: player up.
Speaker 3: I would come anyway.
Speaker 4: She finally started listening, and she said, let's see, I
Speaker 4: actually listened to you. And when I heard these women
Speaker 4: calling and telling you how their husbands were pursuing them
Speaker 4: and could never get enough of them, I was shocked
Speaker 4: and immediately realized that my husband was not a pervert
Speaker 4: obsessed with having sex with me. I understood my husband
Speaker 4: and realized how much he loves me and only me.
Speaker 4: I immediately felt bad, felt bad from neglecting my husband,
Speaker 4: felt bad for thinking he was only lusting after me.
Speaker 4: And by the way, I hope that your husbands do,
Speaker 4: my dear female listeners. And I started telling myself how
Speaker 4: selfish I have been all these years, how devoted he
Speaker 4: is to me every day that goes by, and that
Speaker 4: he's not a pervert, and so on. It's likewise another
Speaker 4: letter that I'm read to you. You have relieved my
Speaker 4: mind thinking my husband was a pervert all those early
Speaker 4: years of marriage. I love him more than you heard.
Speaker 4: This woman who just called now in tears. Her husband
Speaker 4: died a few years ago and she neglected him in
Speaker 4: that arena for some years and was just in tears
Speaker 4: of guilt of cancer. There's nothing that can be done.
Speaker 4: And my heart goes out to her, goes out to
Speaker 4: him for that time. Let's go to some more of
Speaker 4: your calls. By the way, I think all of you
Speaker 4: know this, but for those of you who might be
Speaker 4: brand new to the show, I'm not taking sides. My
Speaker 4: only side is that you have a better marriage. That's
Speaker 4: all that's my That's the side I care about. But
Speaker 4: that may involve understanding him better. And that's why I'm
Speaker 4: mentioning these things when I do.
Speaker 3: All right e.
Speaker 4: Jennifer in Manhattan Beach, California, Jennifer, Dennis Praeger, thanks for calling,
Speaker 4: Thanks for.
Speaker 7: Taking my call. I'm calling because you are right that
Speaker 7: for men, sex is a way of saying.
Speaker 3: I love you.
Speaker 4: And with that no, ironically, it isn't okay no, no, no.
Speaker 4: Sex is a way of them being told by you
Speaker 4: you love them.
Speaker 7: That's what I meant.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, okay no, But it's an important distinction.
Speaker 7: Yes, right, okay, so you know we can say it
Speaker 7: to him all we want, it won't work. The only
Speaker 7: problem is, several years ago I started realizing that, Okay,
Speaker 7: if I don't feel like it's so what right, Okay,
Speaker 7: the happier camper. It's great in that respect, but outside
Speaker 7: of sex, now he's almost forgotten I'm a woman. It's
Speaker 7: like i'm a woman.
Speaker 3: I'm like a paral that goes to bed and all right,
Speaker 3: explain that even further.
Speaker 7: Well, for example, I mean, women liked to know that
Speaker 7: we're being thought about, that they're taking the trouble to
Speaker 7: do something that would please us. I mean, I don't
Speaker 7: even remember the last time that he say, grabbed me
Speaker 7: and gave me a hug, or I don't know, took
Speaker 7: me out to dinner of his own volition.
Speaker 3: Have you told him this?
Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean he says that he doesn't need to,
Speaker 7: and then you know he.
Speaker 3: Doesn't need to.
Speaker 4: Well well wait, see here's the deal, and I would
Speaker 4: like him to be told this, and I'd be happy
Speaker 4: to tell him this. If you feel you don't need
Speaker 4: to do what she wants, then she'll feel she doesn't
Speaker 4: need to do what you want.
Speaker 7: And that's about where I've arrived.
Speaker 4: Well, I'll tell him, No, I think you should play
Speaker 4: this for him. What kind of nonsense is that?
Speaker 7: I don't know.
Speaker 4: It doesn't it doesn't make any sense. He doesn't need
Speaker 4: to well then you, well you don't. You don't need
Speaker 4: to have sex that often. I mean, if if one
Speaker 4: wants to play the game of I don't need to you.
Speaker 4: I mean, he may not need to do every I
Speaker 4: don't know your your your demands from what you listed
Speaker 4: to me, and I'd love to hear his side, obviously
Speaker 4: always in any of these cases. But what you listed
Speaker 4: do does do not sound like particularly a difficult demands
Speaker 4: that you're making on him. No hug you periodically? Does
Speaker 4: he call you from work? No, guys call your wives
Speaker 4: from work every day, even if you're if you're you're
Speaker 4: playing poker at the same time, just say hello back
Speaker 4: in a moment.
Speaker 6: This episode of timeless Wisdom will continue. Evidence now back
Speaker 6: to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.
Speaker 4: Yes, indeed, Dennis Prager here, Hi everybody, and Jennifer my
Speaker 4: last caller. I would love to talk to your husband.
Speaker 4: I would I would really like that. I would have
Speaker 4: of course, he never hears my show. I don't know
Speaker 4: what cloud I would have, but nevertheless I would like
Speaker 4: to have won eighth Praguer seven seven six, one eighth
Speaker 4: p r A g e Er seven seven six. Very
Speaker 4: important that people hear from you on this, as difficult
Speaker 4: as it might be, and I still appreciate the first
Speaker 4: a woman caller who in tears, spoke about how she
Speaker 4: had neglected her husband in this arena. She's sixty now
Speaker 4: and during their fifties, and he died of cancer. But
Speaker 4: she did a service her tears. I want to thank
Speaker 4: you again. It's a hard call, but it's important. You
Speaker 4: are letters and your calls give the points that I
Speaker 4: make credibility. And if you don't agree with me, that's
Speaker 4: fine too. I think those two give the points for
Speaker 4: credibility because they'll respond. Eight seven seven two four three
Speaker 4: triple seven six is the number. Eight seven seven two
Speaker 4: four three triple seven six. I read to you two
Speaker 4: letters where women used the same word. I used to
Speaker 4: think my husband was a pervert, and I realized he's
Speaker 4: just a guy. He's the male and I love him
Speaker 4: now all the more and we have a better marriage.
Speaker 3: And so on. This notion of your husband being a pervert.
Speaker 4: And uh, you know, I'll even add it to another
Speaker 4: area which is extremely controversial because of its emotionality. And
Speaker 4: I understand that, but I want to help you. It's
Speaker 4: the only reason. There are many reasons to oppose this,
Speaker 4: the pornification of this society. It's been a disaster, there's
Speaker 4: no question it's been. It's been particularly terrible for kids.
Speaker 4: But if your husband has looked at pictures, it does
Speaker 4: not make him a pervert. That doesn't mean that it's
Speaker 4: a good thing. That's a separate issue. And for religious
Speaker 4: people in particular, there are other there are a whole
Speaker 4: host of issues. But he's not a pervert, and it
Speaker 4: just makes things worse if you walk around calling him that.
Speaker 4: He may have real issues. That's a separate issue. But
Speaker 4: but cirta, the letters weren't even written about that. The
Speaker 4: letters were written about the frequency that he wanted. He
Speaker 4: must be a pervert or he just lusts after me.
Speaker 4: You should you should thank God if he lusts after you. Now,
Speaker 4: the last caller claims that's all he does, and you know,
Speaker 4: I mean doesn't show affection in ways that are meaningful
Speaker 4: to her as a woman.
Speaker 3: That's an issue that is an issue.
Speaker 4: All right, let's go to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and Kathy. Hello, Kathy,
Speaker 4: Dennis Prager.
Speaker 2: Hi Dennis, Hi you. I'm well, thank you been a
Speaker 2: long time listener. This is my first time calling, and
Speaker 2: I'm calling because I am so worked up about the
Speaker 2: subject matter today, and I just want to let you
Speaker 2: know that you are doing women a grave. You're not
Speaker 2: doing us any favors by stressing how much men need
Speaker 2: sex and acting like it's not really as important to
Speaker 2: us as it is to them. There are so many
Speaker 2: women who need sex just as much, if not more
Speaker 2: than men. And why are we made to feel like freaks?
Speaker 2: If if we need sex, I mean making you.
Speaker 3: Feel wait wait wait wait.
Speaker 2: Wait wait that's how we feel loved.
Speaker 4: No, no, okay, there are two separate there are three
Speaker 4: separate issues. But let me tell you who, who, God forbid,
Speaker 4: is making you feel like a freak?
Speaker 2: Me? My husband? Oh okay, because he doesn't need it,
Speaker 2: he doesn't care. I could go for seven months without it,
Speaker 2: it doesn't matter.
Speaker 3: I think it's terrible. No, it's terrible. It's a terrible problem.
Speaker 3: I I my heart breaks for you.
Speaker 4: What I as I said about at least twice today,
Speaker 4: and always say I'm generalizing because in general the problem
Speaker 4: works in that direction, that that what you have exists.
Speaker 4: I know for a fact, and my heart breaks for you.
Speaker 4: In general, it's the it's the the problem is the
Speaker 4: other way around. Yes, I'm sure because every I'm sure
Speaker 4: on every level, including all that I have read, including
Speaker 4: all the people who have written to me, including all
Speaker 4: the couples who have written.
Speaker 3: But you see it doesn't matter.
Speaker 4: See for Kathy's marriage, it's irrelevant that it's a minority
Speaker 4: of couple's issue.
Speaker 3: It's still a huge issue.
Speaker 4: It's like saying, Kathy, if I say, seat belts save lives,
Speaker 4: and we know for a fact, we do know for
Speaker 4: a fact that there were people who were killed because
Speaker 4: they wore a seat belt because the car went on fire,
Speaker 4: they couldn't get the clicker on and they burned to death.
Speaker 4: So for that person, the fact that seat belts tend
Speaker 4: to save lives was utterly irrelevant. For that person, the
Speaker 4: seat belt killed them. The fact that for most couples
Speaker 4: where there is a sexual issue, it's that he wants
Speaker 4: more than she does is is a fact, But that
Speaker 4: doesn't help the many couples wherein they have your issue,
Speaker 4: and you get my one hundred percent sympathy as much
Speaker 4: as a man does. But it doesn't negate the fact
Speaker 4: that most of the time the problem is in the
Speaker 4: other direction. You need counseling. He needs to acknowledge it.
Speaker 4: It's but it's unfortunate though. It's harder to solve your
Speaker 4: problem because when the woman is not in the mood,
Speaker 4: she could still just be there as it were. But
Speaker 4: a man, a man has to react and and so
Speaker 4: it's it's harder. And when he feels pressure, it's even harder.
Speaker 4: So it's a it's a terrible quicksand in a relationship
Speaker 4: when it is the man who has the lesser dry
Speaker 4: for the woman. But it is something you go to
Speaker 4: what you go to a good therapist, you go to
Speaker 4: a sex therapist. You find out.
Speaker 3: But I mean, he can't give you this lining app
Speaker 3: may I ask the frequency.
Speaker 2: I can tell you the less time we were together
Speaker 2: with Maytean. I'm twenty five years old. My husband's only
Speaker 2: two years older than me, so I don't think we're
Speaker 2: getting to that age.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, anyway that there is no age cut off,
Speaker 4: so to speak. That's not agree And I agree with
Speaker 4: you about you you're young, relatively young. Well, I would
Speaker 4: love to speak to him. Does he ever listen to me?
Speaker 2: He's listening right now.
Speaker 4: Oh then then why doesn't he call in? I'll take
Speaker 4: him as my next call. We'll be back in a moment. Hi, everybody,
Speaker 4: Dennis Prager here, and in the time remaining, let me
Speaker 4: get a few words in with Cathy's husband, Hire Paul.
Speaker 3: Dennis Prager here.
Speaker 1: Hi.
Speaker 3: Hi, Okay. I don't want to put you.
Speaker 4: On the spot, and I'm not here at all to
Speaker 4: in any way be your accuser or anything like that.
Speaker 4: I just I know you heard the call I had
Speaker 4: with your wife, and would you like to just make
Speaker 4: any comments.
Speaker 8: I just don't need it as much as she does.
Speaker 8: I run a business, and I know I have a
Speaker 8: lot on my mind and it's really a pressure for
Speaker 8: her and she needs to need to have it. But
Speaker 8: I feel that with everything, with my responsibilities I have,
Speaker 8: and that we've been married over twenty five years, it's
Speaker 8: not that I don't love her. It's just that I
Speaker 8: take things I guess before her, and I probably really shouldn't,
Speaker 8: but I do.
Speaker 3: What things do you take before her?
Speaker 8: Like the business and working trying to make sure I
Speaker 8: can support her. My daughter's in college in California. Just
Speaker 8: different things like that just seem to be more I
Speaker 8: guess important than that is to than it is to her.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 4: If ideally for you, what would the wh would be,
Speaker 4: generally speaking, the frequency that you would make love.
Speaker 3: Now? Yeah, once once in two months, once and twice
Speaker 3: a year every night?
Speaker 8: Well, probably once or twice a month maybe m hm.
Speaker 3: Okay, And uh, what was the frequency five years ago?
Speaker 8: Probably a lot more, and she just gradually dropped.
Speaker 4: To what it is now, okay, knowing how important it
Speaker 4: is to her, which is somewhat of a credit to you,
Speaker 4: because you're you know, when a guy is found desirable
Speaker 4: by a woman, we feel great. Is there anything you
Speaker 4: think you could do knowing that it's important, let's say it,
Speaker 4: we're up to let's say once every ten days. Is
Speaker 4: that handleable?
Speaker 3: Yes? Yes, why don't you try for that now?
Speaker 8: All right?
Speaker 3: Okay? And by the way, and if.
Speaker 4: There are things that she could do that you feel
Speaker 4: a little funny about saying, you know, maybe wear something
Speaker 4: very sexy, you know, in the bedroom or something, you
Speaker 4: should let her know. Twenty five years is a long time,
Speaker 4: but you know, guys, have fantasies. Why don't you tell
Speaker 4: her some of your fantasies. All right, Okay, okay, thank
Speaker 4: you so much for sharing that. I know it's not easy.
Speaker 4: I tell you, folks, I divide pain between the necessary
Speaker 4: and the gratuitous, and we.
Speaker 3: Should try to minimize the unnecessary pain.
Speaker 4: So Cathy, let me hear from you in an email
Speaker 4: in a couple of months, and upping that frequency to
Speaker 4: that might really be a help. Good luck. Thanks for calling.
Speaker 4: It's the Male Female Hour on the Dennis Prager.
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