1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:01,280 Speaker 1: Let's bring up Christ to Golf. 2 00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:03,440 Speaker 2: It is Chris to God Risk Gall. 3 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,440 Speaker 3: I'm joined now by Christigall, most of. 4 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:07,520 Speaker 1: The Christ of Goall Show, so let's brand talk radio 5 00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:08,640 Speaker 1: host Chris Togall. 6 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:11,200 Speaker 2: Also his podcast is a musk listen every day Christa 7 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:12,640 Speaker 2: Gall Show podcast. 8 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:13,960 Speaker 1: And host of the Christgall Show. 9 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,680 Speaker 2: Let's Bring in Christa Gall. Pay You welcome Chris Speak 10 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:18,479 Speaker 2: Gall to. 11 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 3: Chris to Gall podcast is presented by US Medical Plan 12 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:26,160 Speaker 3: dot com. Save big money monthly and get better health 13 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 3: covers at US Medicalplan dot com. 14 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,600 Speaker 2: Hey, they're merry Christmas, and I guess I will say 15 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:34,480 Speaker 2: a happy New Year. Welcome into the Christagall Show podcast. 16 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,200 Speaker 2: I want to say thank you for another tremendous year 17 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:41,440 Speaker 2: of support. Your downloads and your regularly scheduled attention to 18 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 2: this show means more than I can say. Our entire 19 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,199 Speaker 2: family that puts the show together every day, they work 20 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 2: so hard to give you content, hopefully quality content you enjoy. 21 00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 2: We didn't want to leave you without quality content during 22 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 2: the holidays. While we're taking some time away, we've put 23 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:58,880 Speaker 2: together from some various shows, some special long form interviews. 24 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 2: There will be some repeat content of some shows and 25 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:04,600 Speaker 2: segments that we really enjoyed. Maybe they're new to you 26 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 2: if you missed them before. But over the next few days, 27 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,120 Speaker 2: while we're away taking some time with family, I hope 28 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:10,640 Speaker 2: you're able to as well. But we never want to 29 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,399 Speaker 2: leave you without something to enjoy and listen to. And 30 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 2: today's show and future shows hopefully will be no exception. 31 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 2: We're going to be back with brand new programming on 32 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 2: January fifth. But one thing that I want you to know, 33 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:27,679 Speaker 2: if you're an Obamacare person, and you are now, it 34 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,400 Speaker 2: appears officially under the gun because Congress is not going 35 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:31,960 Speaker 2: to be able to figure out how to keep your 36 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 2: rates from jumping. I don't want you going without health 37 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,639 Speaker 2: insurance in the new year. I don't want you thinking 38 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 2: you have to just sit around being victimized by a 39 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 2: jump and Obamacare rates. John Ruhlman, who is my friend 40 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:46,959 Speaker 2: and sponsor, is as much a help right now in 41 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:51,360 Speaker 2: this era of Obamacare debate as anybody I know. It's 42 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 2: an honor to call him friend and yes, sponsor, but 43 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 2: most of all he can help. Genuinely, he is a help. 44 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:01,040 Speaker 2: He and his company US medical plan dot Com right now. 45 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,840 Speaker 2: You can reach out to them today and find out 46 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 2: he works with one hundred different health insurance companies find 47 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,280 Speaker 2: out if they can reach out and get a better 48 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 2: rate for you. Odds are they can. They'll tell you 49 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 2: if you're doing the best that you can do, but 50 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:15,919 Speaker 2: odds are they're going to find you a better rate. 51 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,720 Speaker 2: I've told you my parents have saved four hundred dollars 52 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:23,240 Speaker 2: a piece on their supplemental Medicare insurance. I told you 53 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,720 Speaker 2: I have a dear friend who saved six hundred dollars 54 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,800 Speaker 2: a month. She's in between jobs. She had to get 55 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:30,320 Speaker 2: a Cobra plan and that was going to cost her 56 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 2: a ton, and it turned out John and his team 57 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 2: found them found her something much cheaper. People that have 58 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,160 Speaker 2: no insurance, that have never bought it before and think 59 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,040 Speaker 2: they can't afford it. John finds amazing rates small business 60 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:43,760 Speaker 2: owners and those of you who buy it for your 61 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:46,680 Speaker 2: whole family. I have a friend John saved one thousand 62 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 2: dollars a month for This can be your story, but 63 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:50,919 Speaker 2: you're not going to know unless you give them a 64 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,919 Speaker 2: second eight seven seven four one zero forty three twenty 65 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:57,200 Speaker 2: one eight seven seven four one zero forty three twenty 66 00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 2: one or US medicalplan dot com. Well, I hope you 67 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:05,200 Speaker 2: are enjoying your holiday season. I know for a good 68 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,760 Speaker 2: many people, I know people personally in my life. Odds 69 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 2: are you do too if you're not one of those 70 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:14,800 Speaker 2: yourself who at this time of year uniquely battle and 71 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,440 Speaker 2: you uniquely battle because you're missing a loved one, you've 72 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:20,440 Speaker 2: just lost a loved one, or every year this time 73 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:22,799 Speaker 2: of year, it reminds you of that loved one, no 74 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,520 Speaker 2: matter how many years go by. I have a friend 75 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 2: who has authored a new book, who knows a lot 76 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:33,640 Speaker 2: about grief, but as a Christian, she also knows the 77 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:35,880 Speaker 2: hope she has in Jesus, and she has written it 78 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:39,520 Speaker 2: beautifully in a book called Thriving in the Barren Place, 79 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,320 Speaker 2: How to Trust God Fueled How to Trust in God 80 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 2: fueled my journey through heartache and loss. Paula Roming is 81 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 2: her name, and she joins me this morning, probably first 82 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 2: of all, Merry Christmas to you. 83 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: Merry Christmas to you, Chris. 84 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 2: Your story and I want to get into it very specifically, 85 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,080 Speaker 2: but I always like to talk to people about the 86 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:01,480 Speaker 2: motivation for their book. You're not a writer by training. 87 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:05,400 Speaker 2: You do other things professionally, but you felt inclined to 88 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:08,960 Speaker 2: write this story, and I'm interested to know why before 89 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,560 Speaker 2: we get into the details. I mean, because it takes time, 90 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 2: at least it does for me. You don't crank out 91 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 2: a book overnight most of us. 92 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 1: No. No, I knew along the journey that I had 93 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:28,119 Speaker 1: a very special story to tell. It hit me about 94 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 1: mid journey that what I was going through was unique 95 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 1: and that what specifically, how God was empowering me to 96 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:43,359 Speaker 1: go through the journey because I am a woman of faith, 97 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:48,920 Speaker 1: I go through these difficulties with hope and with purpose, 98 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: and that is what was different and what I was 99 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:59,640 Speaker 1: learning along the way, and how God was empowering me 100 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:04,480 Speaker 1: to go through these difficulties I think was atypical then 101 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 1: the way most people go through something of this nature. 102 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:13,800 Speaker 1: And so the fact that God tapped me to write 103 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:17,280 Speaker 1: the book hit me about mid journey, and he it 104 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:21,159 Speaker 1: was like, you need to do this. I have gifted 105 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,719 Speaker 1: you with words, and I have made you a writer. 106 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:30,960 Speaker 1: And although maybe not vocationally, at that point, so that 107 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:33,839 Speaker 1: was that was where the journey began. 108 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,200 Speaker 2: You felt called. And I always think that's interesting because 109 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:41,560 Speaker 2: I think you know, as as believers, as Christians, you know, 110 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,400 Speaker 2: not in a you know, mystical way, I know, but 111 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,160 Speaker 2: you when you say you feel called, can you explain 112 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:51,159 Speaker 2: that to people? I would struggle to you know, my 113 00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 2: personal interactions with the Holy Spirit. It's a tough thing 114 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:56,640 Speaker 2: to quantify and explain to people, and they think maybe 115 00:05:56,640 --> 00:06:01,599 Speaker 2: it sounds like sorcery or something. Explain that experience for people. 116 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:09,479 Speaker 1: Sure, And because as believers, we we believe that the 117 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:12,240 Speaker 1: Holy Spirit dwells us. Yes, the third person of the 118 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 1: Trinity and dwells believers. And it's not it is definitely different. 119 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:25,480 Speaker 1: I mean it's it's not like we're used to buy 120 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:33,840 Speaker 1: some sort of experience necessarily, it's God speaks to us 121 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 1: through his word. His word. We believe the Bible is 122 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:41,040 Speaker 1: alive and active with the power of the Holy Spirit. 123 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: And therefore that is why Christians put so much emphasis 124 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:50,919 Speaker 1: on on reading the Bible and using the Bible as 125 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 1: as bedrock and as our guide, and because we believe 126 00:06:56,960 --> 00:07:01,159 Speaker 1: it's it's inspired that inspired of God, the breath of 127 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 1: God in written form, and God speaks to us through 128 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:11,200 Speaker 1: his word, and it's like the Holy Spirit that's active 129 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 1: in the scriptures ignite with the spirit within us. And yes, 130 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 1: it makes a flame or a fire within us, not 131 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:25,600 Speaker 1: literally obviously, but that's the best way I can describe it, 132 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,679 Speaker 1: and it just so our space. 133 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 2: I may interrupt on that point, Paula, because Paula Roaming 134 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:31,800 Speaker 2: is with us again, and I wanted to mention your 135 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 2: book is called Thriving in the Barren Place. The reason 136 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,920 Speaker 2: reading scripture is so important, and I don't mean to 137 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:39,960 Speaker 2: sermonize to people, but this is why. And I, by 138 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 2: the way, I need to take this to heart much 139 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:46,400 Speaker 2: more when you ruminate on the physical scripture in the book, 140 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,280 Speaker 2: that's how it touches you. When we say God moves, 141 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,960 Speaker 2: there's something in his word, and it may take you 142 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,360 Speaker 2: a few readings before you get there, but I'll guarantee 143 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 2: you at some point in your life, right whoever you 144 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,760 Speaker 2: are and wherever you are with whatever you're battling, you 145 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:05,560 Speaker 2: read His word long enough, and eventually something like this 146 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 2: will likely happen to you, just as it has to 147 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 2: you and to me. 148 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 1: I think, right, right right, and go ahead, yeah. 149 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,440 Speaker 2: Well, let's let's talk about your book. Let's get into it, 150 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 2: because I don't I didn't mean to bury the lead 151 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 2: here and your book and the whole reason you wrote it, 152 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:25,280 Speaker 2: Thriving in the Barren Place. You're a mom, yes, and 153 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 2: the story is about your twin boys, one of whom 154 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:33,080 Speaker 2: you no longer have. So let's let's start there. 155 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 1: And thank you. My husband Mark and I are the 156 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 1: parents of twin boys, as you said, and they were 157 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:47,680 Speaker 1: born six weeks early via urgency section, and from the 158 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:51,520 Speaker 1: beginning the boys were nick You and. 159 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:53,520 Speaker 2: Luke. 160 00:08:53,679 --> 00:09:00,600 Speaker 1: Our larger twin was typical tiny, under five pounds, but 161 00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:05,080 Speaker 1: robust and healthy and great color and gray appetite and 162 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,640 Speaker 1: robust out of lungs and all those things you want 163 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 1: to have a little baby. And Matthew are smaller twin. 164 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:16,200 Speaker 1: He came in at four pounds and seven ounces, and 165 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:20,800 Speaker 1: he was a nic you, and his color was was 166 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: sort of yellow, and he looked like he wasn't done yet, 167 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:30,840 Speaker 1: that's the only way I can describe it. And he 168 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 1: struggled from the beginning. He had no bridge to his nose, 169 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:40,280 Speaker 1: and he had elf ears because there was no roll 170 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:44,320 Speaker 1: to the top of his ears, and there were sort 171 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:50,240 Speaker 1: of other indicators that the doctors noticed that indicated that 172 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,760 Speaker 1: that he could go he could come out of it 173 00:09:52,840 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 1: and make significant changes and have no lasting effects. Or 174 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:04,439 Speaker 1: the flip side could be that these could be indicators 175 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:08,320 Speaker 1: that he was in for a long struggle and we 176 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:12,720 Speaker 1: as well, and that did play out. And Matthew did 177 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:19,200 Speaker 1: have severe special needs that that were present from the beginning. 178 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,080 Speaker 2: He he. 179 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 1: Just had developmental disabilities. When he first the boys first 180 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 1: came home, Matthew struggled to eat and his suck was underdeveloped, 181 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 1: of course, and so he couldn't. He had all kinds 182 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:41,439 Speaker 1: of feeding issues and a lot of sensory seeking issues. 183 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 1: And when Matthew was eighteen months old, he developed a 184 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:50,040 Speaker 1: seizure disorder. And so he had his first seizure when 185 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:54,560 Speaker 1: he was eighteen months old, and it was not uncommon 186 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 1: for us to have to call nine one one when 187 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:02,480 Speaker 1: he turned blue or when the seizures wouldn't stop with medication. 188 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 1: But yes, from the time he was eighteen months old 189 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 1: to the time he passed, he was on significant number 190 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:13,800 Speaker 1: of seizure medications, all at the same time. And as 191 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,679 Speaker 1: I alluded to there, when Matthew was twelve years old, 192 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:21,960 Speaker 1: he died. And about the time he was nine years old, 193 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,960 Speaker 1: we were diagnosed with a seizure disorder called linux Guestow. 194 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:30,360 Speaker 1: And it's not a genetic syndrome, it's just the type 195 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:35,439 Speaker 1: of a seizure disorder. And that seizure disorder, particularly when 196 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 1: they had adolescents. The seizures can dissipate and become less, 197 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,360 Speaker 1: less debilitating and less a part of their lives. Or 198 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:45,720 Speaker 1: it can go another way, and it can be the 199 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:50,120 Speaker 1: seizures can intensify and send them into what we call status, 200 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:54,960 Speaker 1: which means they're having constant seizures all the time, and 201 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,880 Speaker 1: it actually shuts down their body and it takes them. 202 00:11:58,920 --> 00:11:59,960 Speaker 1: And that's what happened to Matt. 203 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,280 Speaker 2: You. Hey there, it's Chris back on the phone with 204 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:06,120 Speaker 2: my dentist and friend, Bob Spinato at Williamsburg Dentel in Broomall, Pennsylvania, 205 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,400 Speaker 2: just off the Blue Route. With new technology, you have 206 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:11,080 Speaker 2: not just new associates, but they brought new technology into 207 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 2: the business to make it a little easier for patients. 208 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a very exciting time in dentistry. We have 209 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 4: now introduced a three dimensional X ray called a cbct 210 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 4: can in our office, which allows us to diagnose and 211 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 4: things earlier for patients. My daughter is placing a lot 212 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:29,679 Speaker 4: of implants in the past that referred out as now 213 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 4: being done in house. And we also we've been using 214 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:36,800 Speaker 4: dental or computer scanners who are taking impressions for crowns 215 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,240 Speaker 4: for about the last two to three years. We now 216 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,480 Speaker 4: have introduced the next step, which is a milling machine 217 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 4: and anything now make crowns in the office. Things can 218 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,720 Speaker 4: be completed in the same day as opposed to having 219 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:49,320 Speaker 4: a temporary cround put on in three weeks later, coming 220 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,280 Speaker 4: back and having a permit cround put on. It's really 221 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,200 Speaker 4: a game changer and it's a time saver for our 222 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,840 Speaker 4: patients have to make multiple visits to the office. 223 00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:57,440 Speaker 2: Pick up the phone or go online make that appointment. 224 00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 2: Six one oh three five three twenty seven hundred Williamsburg 225 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:03,240 Speaker 2: dash Dental dot com. Hey, everybody's trying to save money 226 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,600 Speaker 2: where they can. If you buy your own health insurance 227 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:08,360 Speaker 2: or if you're on Obamacare, you know how expensive those 228 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 2: premiums are getting. It's why I've sent my own parents, 229 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,760 Speaker 2: my personal friends, and my colleagues to John Rulman and 230 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,880 Speaker 2: his team at US Medical Plan dot com. John works 231 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,640 Speaker 2: with one hundred different private health insurance companies across the 232 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 2: country to find you the very best coverage at the 233 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:25,600 Speaker 2: very best rates. My own parents saved four hundred dollars 234 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,840 Speaker 2: a month each on their Medicare supplemental health insurance premiums 235 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,400 Speaker 2: reaching out to John Roulman and US Medical Plan dot Com. 236 00:13:32,559 --> 00:13:34,839 Speaker 2: I have a friend in between jobs. She reached out 237 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:38,040 Speaker 2: to US Medical Plan to replace her Cobra insurance rates. 238 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,839 Speaker 2: Saved six hundred dollars a month. A personal friend who 239 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:44,000 Speaker 2: buys his own families health insurance out of pocket, I 240 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 2: send him to John and now he's saving one thousand 241 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,400 Speaker 2: dollars a month. Listen, folks, this is one of the 242 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:52,640 Speaker 2: easiest ways to save appreciable money every month without sacrificing coverage. 243 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,480 Speaker 2: But you're not going to know unless you reach out 244 00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:57,200 Speaker 2: right now and have the conversation eight seven seven four 245 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 2: one zero forty three twenty one or log onto US 246 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:05,000 Speaker 2: Medical Plan dot com. Well, this would be a time 247 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:09,080 Speaker 2: where the parent of someone who has not had these 248 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:14,040 Speaker 2: difficulties raising children has to ask, just as a pedestrian question, 249 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,360 Speaker 2: twelve years you raised Matthew like this while Luke was 250 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:23,280 Speaker 2: otherwise Well, and yes, I just can't. You've got another 251 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,480 Speaker 2: child you're trying to raise, who is by all accounts, 252 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:31,120 Speaker 2: healthy and well and typical, and Matthew is not that 253 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:34,960 Speaker 2: unto itself. I mean, setting aside the struggles with Matthew, 254 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,400 Speaker 2: you still have a healthy son you're trying to raise 255 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,160 Speaker 2: at the same time. How in the world did you 256 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:39,800 Speaker 2: achieve that? 257 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 1: Well, Matthew's care did take a lot of my time 258 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,880 Speaker 1: and energy. I had to work very hard to do that, 259 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:55,880 Speaker 1: and then to incorporate Luke into helping me with Matthew's care, 260 00:14:56,120 --> 00:15:01,680 Speaker 1: always bringing him alongside. We did get First Steps, the 261 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:05,960 Speaker 1: First Steps program to help with Matthew's care when Matthew 262 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:10,120 Speaker 1: was a little over a year old, and that helped 263 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:12,560 Speaker 1: a little bit in the early days because the therapists 264 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:16,160 Speaker 1: were always very kind to bring Luke along and if 265 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:19,480 Speaker 1: they were trying to play games with Matthew, they incorporated 266 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:22,720 Speaker 1: Luke and it gave me a few minutes extra to, 267 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:28,560 Speaker 1: you know, to be with Luke. But I was very 268 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,880 Speaker 1: cognizant of that fact that I had two boys, I 269 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:36,960 Speaker 1: didn't have one, and I needed to pay attention to 270 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:41,640 Speaker 1: both of them. So I did listen very acutely to 271 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 1: what Luke was interested in, and I watched and prayed 272 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:48,560 Speaker 1: a lot that I would be attentive and that I 273 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:52,600 Speaker 1: would not just be overwhelmed with Matthew's care, but that 274 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,920 Speaker 1: I would be paying attention and listening. 275 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,960 Speaker 2: And I did learn the beautiful part of your story, Paul. 276 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,160 Speaker 2: And of course it's called try in the barren place. 277 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 2: How trust in God fueled my journey through heartache and laws. 278 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,160 Speaker 2: You said you prayed, and this is what I would 279 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:11,440 Speaker 2: love to know. Were you a prayerful person upon discovery 280 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,280 Speaker 2: of Matthew's struggles and throughout those twelve years or was 281 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,080 Speaker 2: there any point, if you're to be honest, was there 282 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:18,600 Speaker 2: any point where you just said to heck with this 283 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:22,440 Speaker 2: where you got angry and said this God business isn't 284 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 2: for me. It's not working. 285 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,440 Speaker 1: Well. Early on in the journey, there was that point 286 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,080 Speaker 1: where I had a crisis of faith, But it was 287 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:33,480 Speaker 1: never a crisis to the point where I said chuck it. 288 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:38,560 Speaker 1: It was I had to reassess the way that I 289 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,280 Speaker 1: had been raised and the things that I had come 290 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:45,600 Speaker 1: to believe along the way I believed when the boys 291 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,720 Speaker 1: were small. I believed that if I knocked it out 292 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:52,200 Speaker 1: of the park on all the spiritual disciplines, if I 293 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:55,360 Speaker 1: if I sort of held up my end of the deal, 294 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,280 Speaker 1: then God would hold up his end of the deal 295 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:01,480 Speaker 1: by giving me my version of the Christ, the wonderful 296 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,399 Speaker 1: Christian life. He would just deliver that on a silver 297 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,679 Speaker 1: platter and answer to my prayers, because that's what was 298 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:10,800 Speaker 1: his job. And so it was this was before your kids. 299 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:12,800 Speaker 2: This is important. I love that if I could for 300 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:16,000 Speaker 2: a second, So you're saying, before your kids, you thought, Hey, 301 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:17,679 Speaker 2: I'm going to check all the boxes and do everything 302 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,840 Speaker 2: right God, and in exchange, I'm going to have a 303 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:21,840 Speaker 2: happy marriage and a couple of healthy kids, and we're 304 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,560 Speaker 2: going to be drinking. It's kind of where you. 305 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:28,120 Speaker 1: Were, yeah, yes, yes, And then all this difficulty hit 306 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:33,679 Speaker 1: and the exhaustion and the work and the heartbreak and 307 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:38,359 Speaker 1: the major disappointment. Of course, I had all these expectations 308 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,320 Speaker 1: of you know, God, he's going to do this. I'm 309 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:41,919 Speaker 1: going to I'm going to knock it out of the 310 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,600 Speaker 1: park on my end, and then he's going to knock 311 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,320 Speaker 1: it out of the park on his end, and we're 312 00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:49,680 Speaker 1: going to be good. And then, of course, when expectations 313 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:53,800 Speaker 1: hit reality, what happens is a head on collision with disappointment, 314 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:58,520 Speaker 1: which is what happened to me. But because I was 315 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,400 Speaker 1: raised in a Christian I'm a stable, two parent home. 316 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:03,960 Speaker 1: I was taught the scriptures from an early age, which 317 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:08,800 Speaker 1: I know most people don't have that these days. And 318 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 1: so I was given that gift, and I was raised 319 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:15,479 Speaker 1: in a church. I had that solid spiritual foundation. So 320 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:18,479 Speaker 1: but I knew that somewhere along the line I had 321 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:22,560 Speaker 1: picked up these erroneous notions and I needed to really 322 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,239 Speaker 1: do a deep dive into scripture and find out what 323 00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:27,440 Speaker 1: was true and what was not, because I knew that 324 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,920 Speaker 1: he was the way I knew the scripture was true. 325 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,640 Speaker 1: I just was like, somewhere along the line, I picked 326 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:36,960 Speaker 1: up these erroneous notions that Christians don't go through pain. 327 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,120 Speaker 1: If you're a good Christian, you don't have a life 328 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,280 Speaker 1: of pain. And I don't know where I picked up 329 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,960 Speaker 1: that notion, because the scripture does not bear that out 330 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,159 Speaker 1: and it doesn't take com smart. 331 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,760 Speaker 2: This is the part of your story that I love 332 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:52,120 Speaker 2: the most, and I hope every Christian hears it. We do, 333 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:54,560 Speaker 2: we think, and I'm guilty of it too. You think, Hey, 334 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:58,080 Speaker 2: i'm tithing, I'm living right, I'm upright, I'm doing everything right, 335 00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:00,720 Speaker 2: I'm prayerful, I'm you know, I'm doing it. Look at me, 336 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,360 Speaker 2: I'm doing it, you know, like a kid without training wheels. 337 00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,640 Speaker 2: But that doesn't mean you're not going to fall off 338 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,720 Speaker 2: the bike. And I think that is where so many 339 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,000 Speaker 2: people stumble. They think, well, then what's all that Christian 340 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:14,240 Speaker 2: stuff for anyway? So let's get into that all things 341 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:18,000 Speaker 2: for His good. People. Hear your story twelve years with 342 00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:21,800 Speaker 2: Matthew's health, and you say, what's the good in that? 343 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:29,439 Speaker 1: Paula, Well, this is the good. And pain does something 344 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:34,359 Speaker 1: to us and it changes us if we let it. 345 00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:38,959 Speaker 1: It changes us because it shows us what's important. But 346 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:41,840 Speaker 1: I need to back up just a few steps and 347 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:48,320 Speaker 1: lay the groundwork here for a second. True Christianity is 348 00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:54,080 Speaker 1: different than other religions per se, because rather than an 349 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:59,200 Speaker 1: adherence to a certain set of rules and abstaining from 350 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:06,960 Speaker 1: certain negative behaviors and that being the sum total of 351 00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:13,119 Speaker 1: one's religious experience, Christianity is different. Christianity is a relationship 352 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:17,600 Speaker 1: God himself in dwell We have a one on one 353 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:22,240 Speaker 1: relationship with God himself through the person of Jesus Christ, 354 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,359 Speaker 1: and that is in the dwelling of the Holy Spirit. 355 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 1: And that in itself is astounding enough. But the basis 356 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:32,440 Speaker 1: of any relationship, of course, we know this is trust. 357 00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:36,560 Speaker 1: And if you don't trust someone, how in the world 358 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:40,920 Speaker 1: can have a relationship with them? Obviously you can't. So 359 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:44,040 Speaker 1: that is why the subtitle of my book is how 360 00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,760 Speaker 1: trust in God fueled My journey through heartache and laws, 361 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:50,920 Speaker 1: because I knew in order to trust him, I had 362 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 1: to know exactly who he was and who I was 363 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:57,400 Speaker 1: dealing with. And I'll tell you, Chris, when I did 364 00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:01,720 Speaker 1: a deep dive into scripture and found out who this 365 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:05,159 Speaker 1: God is as much as I can through the scriptures, 366 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:11,200 Speaker 1: it was such. It brought such peace and such clarity. 367 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,960 Speaker 1: And so that's why when I'm speaking to groups or 368 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:20,520 Speaker 1: how why I sort of hammer that point. When we 369 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:24,080 Speaker 1: know who it is we're dealing with, so much falls 370 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:28,080 Speaker 1: into place. Now, that doesn't mean necessarily that all of 371 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:31,120 Speaker 1: our circumstances changed for the better. It certainly doesn't. Didn't 372 00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:35,000 Speaker 1: in my case, and in the place of the saints 373 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:38,040 Speaker 1: in scripture, it certainly didn't mean that. It means that 374 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:43,560 Speaker 1: we know that He is in control. We know that 375 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:46,720 Speaker 1: he knows the end from the beginning. We know. Throughout 376 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:51,800 Speaker 1: Scripture he describes himself, I am the one who is compassionate. 377 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:56,440 Speaker 1: I am full of loving kindness. I am compassionate and 378 00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:02,200 Speaker 1: showing mercy to a thousand generations. He says that not once, 379 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:06,520 Speaker 1: but several, many, many times, all throughout, scriptures woven throughout 380 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:12,159 Speaker 1: the fabric. And when we realize that he has a 381 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,680 Speaker 1: massive plan that was in place, It's not like he's 382 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:19,360 Speaker 1: on Plan B now because Plan A didn't work. He's 383 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,760 Speaker 1: only got Plan A. And that plan started way back 384 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:27,520 Speaker 1: in the garden of Eden. Jesus was always always part 385 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:33,680 Speaker 1: of the plan. And we see that foreshadowing from the beginning, 386 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:35,000 Speaker 1: from the beginning. 387 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:39,080 Speaker 2: And so I may I ask, when you talk about 388 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,119 Speaker 2: this relationship, when you really got to know God, was 389 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:46,000 Speaker 2: this early in Matthew's battles or was this halfway? Because 390 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:52,200 Speaker 2: I'm trying to quantify twelve years of just vicious, violent struggle, 391 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:58,320 Speaker 2: and I'm sure taxing, exhausting. I run out of words 392 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:02,760 Speaker 2: to describe what that twelve years is. Did you have 393 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:05,640 Speaker 2: that faith and that trust throughout that run or how 394 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 2: long did it take you? Did you have an epiphany 395 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,879 Speaker 2: halfway through a third of the way through, And how 396 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,040 Speaker 2: do you look at that particular window of time in 397 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:13,600 Speaker 2: the rear view? 398 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,040 Speaker 1: Well, of course I mentioned that crisis of faith that 399 00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:20,720 Speaker 1: happened early on, within the first few months the first year, 400 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 1: when I got home with the boys, And what happened 401 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:27,120 Speaker 1: was when I realized I had to do a deep 402 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:31,000 Speaker 1: dive into scripture. You mentioned the exhaustion and the workload. 403 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:35,800 Speaker 1: I couldn't sit there and do the you know, the 404 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,080 Speaker 1: quintessential quiet time that we're told in ladies' meetings we're 405 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:40,800 Speaker 1: supposed to have, or we sit with the latte in 406 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:44,800 Speaker 1: the early morning in the sunlight and the notebook and 407 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,560 Speaker 1: all that. I mean, that just wasn't going to happen. 408 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,800 Speaker 1: And so I had to find another way because going 409 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:55,440 Speaker 1: without the light of scripture, that was my lifeline. And 410 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:59,760 Speaker 1: I couldn't not do not do that. So I had 411 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:07,359 Speaker 1: to find another way. So script Christian radio was was 412 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:09,639 Speaker 1: a medium that was introduced that was part of my 413 00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:13,560 Speaker 1: growing up. And so I found a Christian radio station 414 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:16,760 Speaker 1: in our area that did teaching. It wasn't just praise 415 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:23,440 Speaker 1: and worship music. It was teaching. It was solid Biblical, 416 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:28,080 Speaker 1: biblically based teachers around the clock. And so I switched 417 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:32,000 Speaker 1: that on my kitchen radio and I turned it on 418 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:34,679 Speaker 1: when I got up, and it was a soundtrack of 419 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:39,399 Speaker 1: our home. So I had teachers like the venerable ones 420 00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:45,560 Speaker 1: that that that that we know and love. I had 421 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:49,760 Speaker 1: those streaming into my home, into my kitchen. Twenty four 422 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,600 Speaker 1: to seven, or at least while I was up. And 423 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:58,840 Speaker 1: that is the way that I became strong because I 424 00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:01,760 Speaker 1: was like, I have to cut to the chase. I 425 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:05,840 Speaker 1: cannot waste my time listening and putting stuff into my 426 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:11,280 Speaker 1: head and into my heart that is not going to 427 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:11,639 Speaker 1: help me. 428 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,720 Speaker 2: And wow, because that's quite by the way, if I may, 429 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,320 Speaker 2: that's that's quite an advertisement. You know here here in 430 00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:22,359 Speaker 2: Salem Salem Media, we have a whole family of what 431 00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,800 Speaker 2: we call Christian teach and talk radio stations all over 432 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:28,040 Speaker 2: the country. And I can only imagine people inside the 433 00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:30,440 Speaker 2: company are going right on paula Way to go, because 434 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,040 Speaker 2: I know there are a ton of people that consume 435 00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:34,399 Speaker 2: that and love to hear that. How about your husband? 436 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:39,320 Speaker 2: Could I ask you quickly about him? Because yes, you've 437 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:42,600 Speaker 2: got a marriage to deal with through this too, and 438 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:46,320 Speaker 2: we all know that spouses are not tracking emotionally and 439 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,480 Speaker 2: mentally always on the same plane through something like this 440 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:52,040 Speaker 2: at the same time, how was he through it? And 441 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,480 Speaker 2: how were you as a spouse through it? I mean, here, 442 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:58,199 Speaker 2: you're the mother of a perfectly healthy boy, mother of 443 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 2: a boy that's struggling, and you're wife. I mean, that's 444 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:03,399 Speaker 2: that's a lot of roles you've still got to fulfill 445 00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:04,679 Speaker 2: throughout all this. 446 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:11,240 Speaker 1: Yes, well, my husband is he did shift work throughout 447 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,960 Speaker 1: our entire marriage. He still does and he's a very 448 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:21,600 Speaker 1: quiet man and very you know so, but he he 449 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:24,359 Speaker 1: did shift work, as I said, so that physically removed 450 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:29,119 Speaker 1: him from the home for a good portion of of 451 00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:34,119 Speaker 1: the days, every every day except the weekends. And so 452 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:39,240 Speaker 1: there was some struggle related to that. And of course 453 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:47,000 Speaker 1: there's always struggles. And the statistics are Chris that when 454 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:50,520 Speaker 1: there is a special needs child in a family that 455 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,840 Speaker 1: most of the time the marriage does not survive. 456 00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:57,080 Speaker 2: Yes, when after a death, is that right? 457 00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:01,280 Speaker 1: Yes? And the death of a child the marriage doesn't survive. 458 00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:03,520 Speaker 1: Now both of those separate. Now we have both of 459 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:07,879 Speaker 1: those together, and I'm not going to say that you 460 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:11,679 Speaker 1: know that we're waltzing through fields of daisies. Definitely not. 461 00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:15,359 Speaker 1: We don't. We have our We have our struggles, and 462 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:18,399 Speaker 1: I want to, you know, be honest about that. But 463 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:23,480 Speaker 1: we have to also be be humble enough to say 464 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:30,240 Speaker 1: when we need help. And but back to how is 465 00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:34,000 Speaker 1: Mark handling this. We did divide and conquer a lot. 466 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,200 Speaker 1: Mark had to step up to the plate and take 467 00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:40,280 Speaker 1: Luke a lot of times when Matthew is in the hospital, 468 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,400 Speaker 1: he just had to drop everything at work, he had 469 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,800 Speaker 1: to come home, and he had to be with Luke 470 00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,879 Speaker 1: at home for however long Matthew and I were in 471 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:51,040 Speaker 1: the hospital. So that's just the way it had to be, 472 00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:54,720 Speaker 1: because I didn't I knew that I would take Matthew 473 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,080 Speaker 1: to er we were going to you know, I would 474 00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,199 Speaker 1: be texting him, this is what's going to happen. I 475 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,640 Speaker 1: need you to come home. So there was a lot 476 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,439 Speaker 1: of that. There was a lot of divide and conquer. 477 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:13,560 Speaker 1: We did the best that we could, and we we 478 00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:20,000 Speaker 1: deal with difficulty differently. I am a more emotive and 479 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:28,040 Speaker 1: verbose person. He is not, and so he just deals 480 00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:33,360 Speaker 1: with it in his own way. And with God, I mean, 481 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,640 Speaker 1: I have to to just let him deal with it, 482 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:39,960 Speaker 1: deal with things with God in his own way. In 483 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:47,920 Speaker 1: the scriptures, it says God said Jesus says to one 484 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,880 Speaker 1: of his disciples who's saying, well, like, well, well what 485 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:54,160 Speaker 1: about him? What about him? And and Jesus says to 486 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,880 Speaker 1: that disciple, don't worry about him. Don't worry about him 487 00:28:57,880 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 1: to and it says in other places to his own 488 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:03,000 Speaker 1: he stands or falls don't worry about him, You worry 489 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:03,440 Speaker 1: about you. 490 00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:06,200 Speaker 2: Yes, I know it's the holidays. I know this is 491 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,600 Speaker 2: not a time of year most people think about losing weight. 492 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:11,719 Speaker 2: But you know, our executive producer Fast Eddie is doing it. 493 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:15,680 Speaker 2: He's using PhD Weight Loss right now as a weight 494 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:18,960 Speaker 2: loss tool through the holiday season. It can be done. 495 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,080 Speaker 2: And you know how, I know in just two weeks time. 496 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:26,080 Speaker 2: Right now, as we speak, he's on the program, and 497 00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:28,040 Speaker 2: the first two weeks of the program he's already dropped 498 00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,360 Speaker 2: eight pounds. Now, you know, I told you the reason 499 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,400 Speaker 2: he's doing it, because I told you I lost forty 500 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,600 Speaker 2: pounds in under four months earlier this year. Eddie said, 501 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,480 Speaker 2: I want to try it. I said, it's almost the holidays. 502 00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:38,920 Speaker 2: He said, I don't care. I want to try it. 503 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:42,040 Speaker 2: And he's lost eight pounds in two weeks time. He 504 00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,480 Speaker 2: works with his counselor, same as I work with my counselor. 505 00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,200 Speaker 2: I've kept the weight off. I'm going to probably go 506 00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,640 Speaker 2: for another twenty in the new year. But the point 507 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,840 Speaker 2: is right now, I've hit idle on purpose. I'm maintaining 508 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:56,400 Speaker 2: my weight loss because my counselor at PhD Weight Loss 509 00:29:56,720 --> 00:30:00,600 Speaker 2: has taught me exactly what I need to do to maintain, maintain, 510 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:02,480 Speaker 2: and then when I want to re engage and kick 511 00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:04,479 Speaker 2: it into full gear and start losing more than New year, 512 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:07,560 Speaker 2: I can. The best part about PhD weight loss this 513 00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:10,200 Speaker 2: time of year is they're very well aware this is 514 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:12,320 Speaker 2: a hard time to get people motivated to lose weight. 515 00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:14,920 Speaker 2: But if you find yourself motivated like fast Eddie is, 516 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:17,280 Speaker 2: they're going to give you a heck of a deal 517 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,520 Speaker 2: right now. They're making it even easier to get started 518 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,720 Speaker 2: because they're going to waive your consultation fee entirely. They're 519 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,640 Speaker 2: going to add two weeks to your program totally free, 520 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,960 Speaker 2: and they're going to cover all costs of food. This 521 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,400 Speaker 2: will be now everybody's going to start trying to lose 522 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:35,200 Speaker 2: weight in January. Everybody will call and you're not going 523 00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:38,200 Speaker 2: to get a deal like this. Then you start this program, 524 00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,680 Speaker 2: now you're going to get a huge savings and doctor 525 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:43,160 Speaker 2: Ashley Lucas is going to throw in her brand new book, 526 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:47,760 Speaker 2: which is also a great read. She is Maha as 527 00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,520 Speaker 2: they get. 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Their sixty day 561 00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:44,080 Speaker 2: money back guarantee is now being extended even further orders 562 00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:46,840 Speaker 2: placed between now and December twenty fifth will have their 563 00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:51,000 Speaker 2: guarantee extended all the way to March first, twenty twenty six. 564 00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:55,600 Speaker 2: MyPillow dot com. Use the promo code crist to save 565 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,480 Speaker 2: big and merry Christmas. Pray for him, but you can't 566 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:01,360 Speaker 2: drag him along? Right is that a point in marriage, 567 00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,040 Speaker 2: and I write my wife and I talk about this 568 00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:06,440 Speaker 2: all the time if I'm if I'm down or feeling 569 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:09,480 Speaker 2: glum or pessimistic, and she's trying her best to live 570 00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:12,400 Speaker 2: a faith filled life. We talk all the time about 571 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:14,880 Speaker 2: what her responsibility is to me, and there's only so 572 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:18,080 Speaker 2: much she can do right until she says, well, sorry, brother, 573 00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:20,320 Speaker 2: that's between you and the Lord. I've got things to 574 00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:23,160 Speaker 2: do right. Which is not to be insensitive, but you do. 575 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:26,000 Speaker 2: You have to kind of protect your relationship there. 576 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:29,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's not and his walk with God is 577 00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:34,560 Speaker 1: not my responsibility. It's not my responsibility to to you know, 578 00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:36,720 Speaker 1: like you say, drag him along or jack him up 579 00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:39,120 Speaker 1: here or and I'm certainly I mean. 580 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,520 Speaker 2: I'm trying to interrupt you, Paul, but I think this 581 00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:47,280 Speaker 2: is such an important point Thriving in the Barren Places PAULA. 582 00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,120 Speaker 2: Roming's book. And by the way, Paul's last name is 583 00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:55,320 Speaker 2: filled R O M A n G. This beyond what 584 00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,760 Speaker 2: you're talking about in your story. I think it's so 585 00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:01,600 Speaker 2: interesting when I see people who are married and one 586 00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:03,600 Speaker 2: chooses to go to church and one chooses to not, 587 00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:07,160 Speaker 2: and they will say in conversation, well, I can't get 588 00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:09,320 Speaker 2: my spouse. Often it's women who will show up in 589 00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:11,479 Speaker 2: church and my husband doesn't want to come. He doesn't 590 00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:13,520 Speaker 2: want to go. And I think this is kind of 591 00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:16,320 Speaker 2: an interesting conversation. Generally, you would say to that woman 592 00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:21,000 Speaker 2: or man who's you know, they're trying to make a 593 00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,760 Speaker 2: spiritual life for themselves and their family, but their spouse 594 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:25,480 Speaker 2: doesn't want to participate, you'd say. 595 00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:32,640 Speaker 1: What, definitely pray for them, uphold them in prayer, and 596 00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:36,640 Speaker 1: not just oh God help them, not not that, but 597 00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:41,520 Speaker 1: really pray for them, like do warfare and battle on 598 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:48,000 Speaker 1: their behalf in prayer, and fight for them in prayer, 599 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:53,000 Speaker 1: even if if you if they don't even know that 600 00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:56,239 Speaker 1: you're doing it. It's not about them knowing that, hey, 601 00:34:56,280 --> 00:35:01,359 Speaker 1: I'm doing this for you, it's a because prayer is 602 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:05,760 Speaker 1: that love gift that you can fight for your spouse. 603 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:11,279 Speaker 1: And I would encourage women everywhere to do this. And 604 00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:17,880 Speaker 1: when I say that that as women, is our husband's 605 00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:21,480 Speaker 1: spiritual walk or whatever is not our responsibility. Now women, 606 00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:26,359 Speaker 1: well chuckle when I see this. But because men don't 607 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:29,400 Speaker 1: usually have this problem, but we are not the Holy 608 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,839 Speaker 1: Spirit to our husband. We have to let the Holy 609 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,680 Speaker 1: Spirit fill his rule. We do not need to help 610 00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:38,000 Speaker 1: the Holy Spirit in any way to convict or to say, 611 00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:41,759 Speaker 1: oh boy, you should do X, Y and Z. We 612 00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:46,239 Speaker 1: need to stay in our lane and take care of 613 00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:51,520 Speaker 1: ourselves and let them to their own aster they stand 614 00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:53,560 Speaker 1: or fall. Does that make sense? 615 00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,760 Speaker 2: It does? It makes total sense. Thriving in the Barren 616 00:35:56,840 --> 00:36:02,000 Speaker 2: Place is Paula's book. Let me get back to that question. 617 00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,799 Speaker 2: I asked you a little while ago. Now that it's 618 00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:06,600 Speaker 2: been you have twelve how long has it been since 619 00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:07,320 Speaker 2: you lost Matthew? 620 00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:13,799 Speaker 1: This year will be thirteen years? This is the Yeah, 621 00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:16,719 Speaker 1: this is the this is the twelve to thirteen year mark. 622 00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:22,560 Speaker 2: Uh huh, So twelve years. You've been without him for 623 00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:25,560 Speaker 2: a bit longer than you were with him. And I 624 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,120 Speaker 2: wonder if you look at that period of time with him, 625 00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:31,360 Speaker 2: which must have seemed endless, you know, the old adage 626 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:34,120 Speaker 2: is even just raising children that you know, the days 627 00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:37,920 Speaker 2: seem endless and the years fly by. How do you 628 00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,600 Speaker 2: view that window of time, that twelve years with someone 629 00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:42,960 Speaker 2: who needed so much as Matthew did? And as you 630 00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,200 Speaker 2: look back on it, did it feel like a blink? 631 00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:49,080 Speaker 2: Or was that the painful slog you undoubtedly were feeling 632 00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:50,040 Speaker 2: as you were living through it. 633 00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:57,400 Speaker 1: In retrospect, I refer to it now as the Matthew years, 634 00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:59,600 Speaker 1: you know, because I have to talk about it now 635 00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,960 Speaker 1: because my book, and I'm glad to do so. But 636 00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:07,479 Speaker 1: when I talk about the Matthew years, I do see 637 00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:13,239 Speaker 1: it as it was a precious season, because because I 638 00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:16,640 Speaker 1: had him, and God entrusted me with Matthew as a gift, 639 00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:20,360 Speaker 1: I have to see it that way. So Matthew was 640 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:23,640 Speaker 1: the gift that he gave me. He entrusted Matthew to 641 00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:27,720 Speaker 1: my care, and because he knew that in his strength, 642 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,520 Speaker 1: I could handle it, and he knew it would change me. 643 00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:33,520 Speaker 1: And so I see Matthew not as a burden but 644 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:37,960 Speaker 1: as a gift. And those the days were so long, 645 00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:43,680 Speaker 1: and it was such a long haul, and it taught 646 00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:48,200 Speaker 1: me so much. What I hated about it was that 647 00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:51,879 Speaker 1: Matthew suffered the whole time, from the day that he 648 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:55,160 Speaker 1: was born to the day that he died. He suffered, 649 00:37:55,840 --> 00:38:00,040 Speaker 1: and I could do something to help him, but I 650 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:05,279 Speaker 1: couldn't solve the problem, and I had to watch helplessly 651 00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:09,799 Speaker 1: as he suffered and trusting him and us to our 652 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:18,000 Speaker 1: heavenly Father. Now I see the time since then it 653 00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:21,719 Speaker 1: doesn't seem like. Somebody pointed that out to me a 654 00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:25,920 Speaker 1: few months ago that this year is like the turning 655 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:31,160 Speaker 1: point year where he's been He was with me as 656 00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:33,480 Speaker 1: long as he's been gone, and this is sort of 657 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:39,200 Speaker 1: the hinge on the door, and it doesn't feel like 658 00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:41,560 Speaker 1: it's been that long. And in some ways it feels 659 00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:44,880 Speaker 1: like an eternity since he's been gone, and others in 660 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:51,320 Speaker 1: other ways that feels like a blink. But because the grieving, 661 00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:56,280 Speaker 1: the grieving process has been a long one. 662 00:38:56,760 --> 00:39:00,640 Speaker 2: And I'm sorry to interrupt, but that never ends. Just 663 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:02,640 Speaker 2: so people understand, we have a couple of other friends 664 00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,959 Speaker 2: who've lost suddenly lost children too, and that's just never. 665 00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:09,920 Speaker 2: You can't that's that never ever. You never find a 666 00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:11,799 Speaker 2: place of peace with that, do. 667 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:17,720 Speaker 1: You well, not a place of peace, but it does change. 668 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:21,360 Speaker 1: And when Matthew died, I went to a grief support, 669 00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:24,879 Speaker 1: a grief share at my church at the time. And 670 00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:28,759 Speaker 1: one of the things that was said to me that 671 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:32,200 Speaker 1: was so helpful during that time it was said in 672 00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:34,719 Speaker 1: a video. And you know, people say all the time, oh, 673 00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:37,920 Speaker 1: give yourself time. Grief takes time. Grief takes time. I 674 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,560 Speaker 1: wanted to know how long, how long. How long are 675 00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:42,880 Speaker 1: we talking about it? We talking like six months? Are 676 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:46,359 Speaker 1: we talking a year? Are we talking six y? I mean, 677 00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:48,960 Speaker 1: how long are we talking? Grief takes time? What does 678 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:54,040 Speaker 1: that mean? And somebody said, who had lost I believe 679 00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:57,080 Speaker 1: it was doctor Henry Cloud, who had also lost a son. 680 00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:59,919 Speaker 1: He said, when you're dealing with the loss of a child, 681 00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:06,919 Speaker 1: getting to a place of resolution takes ten years. That 682 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:10,640 Speaker 1: floored me because I was like, ten years, really, I've 683 00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:15,239 Speaker 1: got that long. But he said, and I want to 684 00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:20,680 Speaker 1: say this to someone who is going through grief right now. Yes, 685 00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:24,600 Speaker 1: it's hard. Yes you feel like you're going nuts right now, 686 00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:29,120 Speaker 1: but I promise you're not, and it will change and 687 00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:33,200 Speaker 1: it will get better, And especially here at the holidays, 688 00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:37,320 Speaker 1: I want to just say a few things, just general 689 00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:42,919 Speaker 1: things about grief. Grief in itself is not linear. It's 690 00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:46,680 Speaker 1: not It doesn't just because it's been three years or 691 00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:50,239 Speaker 1: two years or nine years or whatever, that doesn't necessarily 692 00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:55,160 Speaker 1: mean that it's better or that you're not going to 693 00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:59,440 Speaker 1: feel it. It's not like, in fact, ye're one for me? 694 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:03,680 Speaker 1: What it was terrible. It was just painful, but it 695 00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:06,400 Speaker 1: was also like was going through the whole process again, 696 00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:12,759 Speaker 1: but with anesthesia. Years two, probably up to four were 697 00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:16,440 Speaker 1: like going through with no anesthesia. It was actually worse. 698 00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:21,400 Speaker 1: And another thing that made it worse was because to 699 00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:24,840 Speaker 1: other people in the community or in the church community, 700 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,799 Speaker 1: and sometimes even in the family, we're like, oh, that's 701 00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:34,000 Speaker 1: old news. You know, Matthew's agent history and it. And 702 00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:37,319 Speaker 1: I want to say that like, grief is not like 703 00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:39,680 Speaker 1: a bad case of the stomach flew where you know, 704 00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:41,920 Speaker 1: you get over it. You know, in a week or 705 00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:44,120 Speaker 1: so you're kind of over it and you're like, whoah, 706 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:52,279 Speaker 1: that's done. It's more like an amputation. Because you've lost 707 00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:56,360 Speaker 1: a part of yourself. Life will never be the same again, 708 00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:03,560 Speaker 1: and going forward, you have to do life differently, the 709 00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:05,799 Speaker 1: same as you would have to do You would have 710 00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:08,879 Speaker 1: to learn life differently if you had lost a leg 711 00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:12,560 Speaker 1: or an arm. You have to learn how to do 712 00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:16,560 Speaker 1: it differently. And just as if there was an accident 713 00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:20,479 Speaker 1: or a war injury or something and a person lost 714 00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:25,319 Speaker 1: a limb, there would be all kinds of therapists and 715 00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:29,799 Speaker 1: medical professionals involved in helping the person to learn how 716 00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:35,240 Speaker 1: to do life differently. And the same is true needs 717 00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:38,040 Speaker 1: to be true in the grief and lost process. 718 00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:42,360 Speaker 2: Paul I have one left and I don't want to 719 00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:44,799 Speaker 2: miss out on this question, which is you often hear 720 00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:48,120 Speaker 2: people who go through things like this say why why Matthew? 721 00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:50,640 Speaker 2: Why did he go through this? Why was he ever 722 00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:53,000 Speaker 2: allowed to be born like this? Wouldn't you rather him 723 00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:55,560 Speaker 2: have not been born? Why did you have to go 724 00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:58,239 Speaker 2: through this? As a Christian? The why is often so 725 00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:00,560 Speaker 2: often what we hear is Christians when people struggle or 726 00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:04,799 Speaker 2: goes through tragedy, and you say, I don't know. 727 00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:09,320 Speaker 1: I don't know, and I don't need to know because 728 00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:14,120 Speaker 1: I and I don't mean it as a crutch or 729 00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:20,839 Speaker 1: as a cop out. I know whom I've believed, I 730 00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:23,080 Speaker 1: know who my faith is in. I know who is 731 00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:26,880 Speaker 1: in control of this messed up world, who stands above 732 00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:32,640 Speaker 1: and beyond it all. I know that, and I don't 733 00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:33,239 Speaker 1: have to know. 734 00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:40,440 Speaker 2: Do you think someday you will do? I? 735 00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:42,799 Speaker 1: Yes, I will. I probably will know in heaven and 736 00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:43,839 Speaker 1: I won't and I won't care. 737 00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:48,840 Speaker 2: But is that where I ask you this, is that 738 00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:51,560 Speaker 2: where Matthew is, there's Matthew there. Will you see him there? 739 00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:55,319 Speaker 1: Yes? Yes, yes, I have. Scripture tells us this that 740 00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:58,920 Speaker 1: you know that to be absent from the body is 741 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,760 Speaker 1: to be present with the Lord, and I know exactly 742 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:03,920 Speaker 1: where Matthew is. I don't have to worry about that. 743 00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:07,920 Speaker 1: And that is our blessed hope. It's our true and 744 00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:12,280 Speaker 1: living hope. And that's why Christians go through grief differently. 745 00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:17,440 Speaker 1: We go through grief knowing that we will see our 746 00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:20,279 Speaker 1: loved one again. We go through it knowing that there 747 00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:23,160 Speaker 1: is there is hope. We will see our loved one again, 748 00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:26,200 Speaker 1: healed and hole in God's presence, we will join them. 749 00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:28,439 Speaker 1: It's not just pie in the sky and the sweet 750 00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:32,319 Speaker 1: by and bye to make ourselves feel better. It is 751 00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:34,520 Speaker 1: as true as you and me sitting. 752 00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:38,279 Speaker 2: Here, Paula. This book, I think is so important to 753 00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:41,759 Speaker 2: people who are battling. I just I'm so thrilled you 754 00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:44,960 Speaker 2: wrote it. I know people will benefit from it, particularly 755 00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:47,560 Speaker 2: if they're raw and they're hurting, and even if you 756 00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,560 Speaker 2: know they've had a few years under their belt. This 757 00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:52,640 Speaker 2: is a great teaching tool and a help and it's 758 00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:56,719 Speaker 2: called Thriving in the Barren Place. Best place to get it. 759 00:44:56,719 --> 00:44:59,640 Speaker 2: People can go online and get it right, Yes. 760 00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:03,000 Speaker 1: Son Ama, Yes, and I'll provide the Amazon link. 761 00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:08,880 Speaker 2: Paul I'm so grateful for your wisdom. I think I 762 00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:11,000 Speaker 2: can say thank you, and I know you're thankful actually 763 00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:12,879 Speaker 2: in many ways that you went through this. It's really 764 00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:16,000 Speaker 2: a remarkable thing and you were great to share your 765 00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:18,680 Speaker 2: story with everyone. Thank you so much, my friend, and 766 00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:20,719 Speaker 2: I wish you and your family a very merry Christmas. 767 00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:24,440 Speaker 1: Thank you. Merry Christmas to you and yours as well. 768 00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:27,239 Speaker 1: What a great opportunity you've presented. Thank you. 769 00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:29,840 Speaker 2: So that's a wrap for another Christa Gall Show podcast. 770 00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:31,800 Speaker 2: Thanks for committing to it, listening to it all the 771 00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:34,520 Speaker 2: way through. You're a fighter. I like that about you. 772 00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:36,640 Speaker 2: Hope you'll leave it a five star review and a 773 00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:39,640 Speaker 2: written review. Apple Podcasts, Spotify. We'll see you next time 774 00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:42,759 Speaker 2: here on the Christa Gall Show Podcast. They're Chris to 775 00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:44,160 Speaker 2: Gall Show Podcast