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Speaker 1: Life Audio.

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Speaker 2: Build Different is a production of the American Association of

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Speaker 2: Christian Counselors. To support this podcast and learn how you

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Speaker 2: can help us to promote all our biblical content, spread

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Speaker 2: the Gospel, and provide mental health resources and training to

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Speaker 2: people everywhere, just go to Aaccfoundation dot org. Again, that's

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Speaker 2: Aaccfoundation dot org. Welcome to Built Different. I'm Zach Clinton,

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Speaker 2: your host, and each week I come to you exclusively

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Speaker 2: on the Life Audio podcast Network. I'm proud to partner

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Speaker 2: with Life Audio and bring you entertaining, life changing, family

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Speaker 2: friendly podcasts for a new generation.

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Speaker 3: I Built Different.

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Speaker 2: Our mission is to provide encouragement, hope and challenge to

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Speaker 2: help push you past your limits and reach.

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Speaker 3: Goals you never thought possible.

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Speaker 2: Colossians two, verse six says, So then, just as you

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Speaker 2: received Christ Jesus's Lord, continue to live your lives in him,

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Speaker 2: rooted and built up in him.

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Speaker 4: Amen.

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Speaker 3: Now let's roll.

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Speaker 2: Hello everybody, Welcome back into the Build Different Podcasts. As always,

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Speaker 2: I'll be your host today, doctor Zach Clinton, joined by

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Speaker 2: my pop sitting over there, doctor Timkole, President of the AACC,

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Speaker 2: Director of the Global Center for Human Flourishing at Liberty University,

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Speaker 2: and today, we are actually sitting backstage Tulsa, Oklahoma, the

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Speaker 2: Maybe Center, eight thousand women sold out crowd for our

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Speaker 2: second stop of the twenty twenty six by Still Waters

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Speaker 2: Extraordinary Women Conference and Event. There's a lot of energy,

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Speaker 2: there's a lot of buzz. We just heard an incredible

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Speaker 2: sound check from our very special guest, this Christine Declaria.

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Speaker 2: She is a recognized and well known worship leader, singer, songwriter,

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Speaker 2: double award winning artist, mental health advocate, founder of the

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Speaker 2: Christine Declario Foundation. She's a partner of ours here at

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Speaker 2: AACC and we'll talk about some special projects that we're

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Speaker 2: working on with our Spanish mental health coach training program.

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Speaker 2: But today we're going to dive into her newest book,

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Speaker 2: Healing in the Desert, Finding your Voice on the Journey

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Speaker 2: from Brokenness.

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Speaker 3: It's a freedom. Christine, my friend, thank you for joining us.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. I feel like I need to say I'm

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Speaker 1: a doctor of something too, doctor of random maybe.

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Speaker 5: Christine, We're honored to have you. We share a common

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Speaker 5: love and that is mental health care. But let me

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Speaker 5: go back to the stage that said in the sound check.

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Speaker 5: As soon as you hit that stage, boom, it's like

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Speaker 5: game time. Something shifts. You know that because you walk

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Speaker 5: up and you know that this.

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Speaker 4: Is an ordained moment of the Lord. Indeed, something's going

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Speaker 4: to happen.

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Speaker 5: I wonder how you move into those moments and what

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Speaker 5: happens inside of your heart, and how you look at

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Speaker 5: a crowd out there of eight thousand women, what do

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Speaker 5: you see?

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Speaker 1: M Well, there's a confidence that comes with learning to

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Speaker 1: trust the Lord, and there's a lot of work that

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Speaker 1: you have to put into getting to trust the Lord,

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Speaker 1: because you know, we know grace is free and salvation

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Speaker 1: is a gift. But the relational part with God takes

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Speaker 1: some work, does and surrenders everything when it comes to

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Speaker 1: our relationship with the Lord. And I've been through a

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Speaker 1: few things in which I've had to either voluntarily or

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Speaker 1: forcibly surrender and understand that every time that he asks

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Speaker 1: me for something, every time that he asked me to

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Speaker 1: lay something on the altar, He's always going to do

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Speaker 1: way above I could ever imagine. And so when it

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Speaker 1: comes to coming into an atmosphere and being given the

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Speaker 1: opportunity of platforming Jesus, I enter it with the confidence

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Speaker 1: of knowing that the one I trust is the first

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Speaker 1: one sitting in the audience receiving what it is that

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Speaker 1: I'm giving. And also I don't minister to people. I

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Speaker 1: minister to him because it's him and I and then

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Speaker 1: he blesses the people and does his thing. But that's

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Speaker 1: where that confidence comes from. It's like once somebody told me,

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Speaker 1: you really know how to command the room. I'm like, no,

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Speaker 1: I know how to lock eyes with the commander. And

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Speaker 1: that's it's a whole other perspective for me.

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Speaker 5: In a lot of ways too, It's just missional. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: God has called you to a place. Yes, I want

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Speaker 5: to go back. How young? When did this gifting come about?

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Speaker 3: When?

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Speaker 4: How did you step into this place?

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Speaker 1: Well? Music, if we're going to be technical, the musical

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Speaker 1: part of me, I think I came out of the

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Speaker 1: womb with it. My mom says it, before I ever spoke,

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Speaker 1: I was already singing and like, you know, humming all

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Speaker 1: these songs in perfect accord.

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Speaker 4: I actually believe. I believe that kind of thing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then as I grew and started getting words,

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Speaker 1: and she says, I would absolutely drive her crazy with

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Speaker 1: like repeating the same song over and over and over

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Speaker 1: and over. There's always a thing with me and music

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Speaker 1: growing up. Music became a refuge. There's a lot of

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Speaker 1: trauma going on in my life. I survived sexual abuse

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Speaker 1: at the age of five. I watched my father perish

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Speaker 1: to the effects of addiction when I was six. There

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Speaker 1: was a quick transition that changed my family. When I

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Speaker 1: was still six, my mom remarried, and then shortly after

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Speaker 1: my little brother was born, and then shortly after we

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Speaker 1: were uprooted from New York where I was born to

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Speaker 1: Puerto Rico, and by the age of seven, like all

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Speaker 1: this had already happened, and so I didn't really have

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Speaker 1: a relationship with God. As a kid. I knew of

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Speaker 1: him and I knew of his stories. But when they said, oh,

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Speaker 1: our father, who aren't in heaven, my filter was, Oh,

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Speaker 1: my dad's not here. I'll see him someday when he's

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Speaker 1: in heaven. So God is everywhere, but that doesn't mean

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Speaker 1: here here with me. I'll meet him someday if and

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Speaker 1: when I get to heaven. So music kind of became

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Speaker 1: the center focus. Then many years later after, you know,

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Speaker 1: the snowball effect of all that trauma and not knowing

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Speaker 1: what to do with it and not having the tools

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Speaker 1: to deal with it, I entered into like a very

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Speaker 1: passive aggressive rebellion with the Lord. I grew up in

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Speaker 1: a Christian home all my life. My mom she would

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Speaker 1: sit down and like read scripture to the belly when

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Speaker 1: I was in the womb. So I knew church very well.

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Speaker 1: I had grown in the church culture, but like I said,

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Speaker 1: I didn't have a real relationship with the Lord. So

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Speaker 1: when I entered college and I had some sentimental breakups

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Speaker 1: with the boyfriend that I thought was going to be

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Speaker 1: my everything, and then that kind of brought to the

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Speaker 1: surface all the pain of not having a father, you know,

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Speaker 1: all the deady issues that come in those seasons. I

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Speaker 1: became very angry at God. And so it was double

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Speaker 1: life for me when I was in college. While I

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Speaker 1: was away in college, I was one person. When I

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Speaker 1: was back home on the weekends and the worship leader

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Speaker 1: of my church, I was different. And it was in

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Speaker 1: that season where the Lord kind of met me at

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Speaker 1: my rock bottom and it was very a very big

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Speaker 1: gesture he sent the lady that I didn't know that tension.

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Speaker 4: Is a big issue.

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Speaker 5: You know that a lot of people feel poled right,

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Speaker 5: and it really brings about a lot of confusion. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: maybe a little chaos in a person's life, and then

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Speaker 5: shame becomes oh yeah, big issue drug in the middle

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Speaker 5: of all that.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. That is the perfect way to say it,

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Speaker 1: because shame. We all know shame's not good, but we

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Speaker 1: hold on to it for dear life for some reason,

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Speaker 1: especially when we're traumatized. It becomes like a safety blanket

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Speaker 1: of sorts, but it's full of holes, so it doesn't

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Speaker 1: really cover us from anything, but whatever perceptions of ourselves

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Speaker 1: we might have that I don't know. Fear and shame

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Speaker 1: go hand in hand, and so that was definitely me.

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Speaker 1: And when I had that encounter with the Lord, this

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Speaker 1: random lady walked up to me and answered a direct

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Speaker 1: prayer on behalf of the Lord to me, and she

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Speaker 1: was a prophetess, and she spoke to me as if

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Speaker 1: she had been following me around for three months, very

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Speaker 1: accurate things that I had only thought of, like the

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Speaker 1: Lord answered. And it was August of two thousand and

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Speaker 1: three when that happened. And it happened to me like

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Speaker 1: with Jeremiah, like the Lord seduced me with his love

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Speaker 1: and he wrapped me like I couldn't, I couldn't wiggle

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Speaker 1: myself out of it, and I just I just gave in.

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Speaker 1: And it was back then that I decided, you know what,

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Speaker 1: there's something to this father that I had never known before.

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Speaker 1: This is not like the dad definition I have. He's

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Speaker 1: so much more. He's he's going to be truthful. He's

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Speaker 1: going to confront me when I'm wrong. But it's always

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Speaker 1: going to be like the dad who tells the kid

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Speaker 1: again and again stop playing up there. You might fall

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Speaker 1: and you make it hurt. And then boom, you fall

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Speaker 1: and you get hurt, and he says, well, I kind

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Speaker 1: of tried to avoid that. Look what you've done to yourself.

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Speaker 1: But come here, let me heal you. Come here on

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Speaker 1: my big lap, my strong arms, and sit with me.

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Speaker 1: Let me heal you. So that was like my opening

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Speaker 1: into getting to know God as a father and cultivating

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Speaker 1: spiritually what he wanted me to become, and starting to

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Speaker 1: see myself the way he saw me, not as an orphan,

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Speaker 1: not as broken, not as rejected, not as abused, not

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Speaker 1: as bruised, but as his. So that started kind of

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Speaker 1: the journey in two thousand and three, and then, of

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Speaker 1: course ministry became a very strong part of that. I

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Speaker 1: was already working on an album, but my double life

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Speaker 1: kind of leaned me towards I just want to make

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Speaker 1: it in the arts. Whether it be Christian or not

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Speaker 1: didn't really matter. But once I had my encounter with

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Speaker 1: the Lord, I was so secure in that if I

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Speaker 1: did anything on a platform, it would absolutely be for him.

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Speaker 1: And know nothing bad on people that do secular music,

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Speaker 1: but I knew that for me it wasn't in my calling.

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Speaker 2: That's right, because he's the one that brought you out

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Speaker 2: of the absent of despair. And I think sometimes it's

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Speaker 2: God's goodness, in his kindness that allows us to hit

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Speaker 2: rock bottom, to recognize and realize that he was always

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Speaker 2: the rock at the bottom to begin with. And I

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Speaker 2: think what I love about you and your story, Christine,

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Speaker 2: is that you are an advocate for mental health because

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Speaker 2: you're not a stranger to suffering. Like all of our

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Speaker 2: listeners and viewers and audience members today, we all are

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Speaker 2: acquainted with suffering. We can all understand adversity. We're going

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Speaker 2: to unpack your story here in a little bit, but

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Speaker 2: what I want to touch on here for a moment

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Speaker 2: is that it's been a tough go for countless people.

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Speaker 2: So tonight, when you take the stage, there's gonna be

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Speaker 2: eight thousand women in there that all have stories of brokenness.

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Speaker 2: And I think what's necessary is to realize that we

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Speaker 2: can't neglect our mental health, right because when we do that,

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Speaker 2: we actually stunt our spiritual health. Speak to what you've

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Speaker 2: learned about the correlation between the two over the years.

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Speaker 1: Well, how many episodes you're going to do about this?

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Speaker 1: Come on, because that can go. I went way over

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Speaker 1: my word count in that book, and there was still

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Speaker 1: some left to say. But I'll say it this way.

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Speaker 1: When I had my encounter with the Lord, I did

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Speaker 1: what I knew best in my church culture, which was

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Speaker 1: get into the word, get into prayer, get into fastening,

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Speaker 1: and get into all the spiritual disciplines. Sure, because they

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Speaker 1: teach us at an early age that us church kids

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Speaker 1: that you have to do, do, do, do do to please

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Speaker 1: the Father, and you become how much you do. And

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Speaker 1: so for a very long season up until ten years ago,

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Speaker 1: that was the way that I related to God and ministry.

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Speaker 1: I did. Therefore I was and so when I entered

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Speaker 1: into a crisis of infertility, being diagnosed with infertility after

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Speaker 1: ten years of marriage and a promise of the Lord

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Speaker 1: that we would have children, and then the doctors saying no,

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Speaker 1: that that's not in the books for you. Then the

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Speaker 1: struggle happened. That's where I learned surrender, because I had

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Speaker 1: to come to a point where it could well be

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Speaker 1: that my body would not produce children.

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Speaker 5: And the way it was important to you want and.

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Speaker 1: God had already spoken to me and my husband and

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Speaker 1: a lot of people in my family.

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Speaker 4: In your heart, you're there.

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Speaker 1: We knew that it was gonna happen, but we have

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Speaker 1: this diagnosis. It was all just an opportunity that I

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Speaker 1: could see this now. I couldn't see it then that

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Speaker 1: the Lord was giving me so that I could lay

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Speaker 1: down something that could potentially become an idol in my life,

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Speaker 1: which was motherhood on the altar before I entered into

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Speaker 1: cursing myself with idolatry of things.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to stop this right there and jump into

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Speaker 2: say you're listening to build Different I'm Zach Clinton. We

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Speaker 2: need to break for a brief message from our sponsors.

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Speaker 2: I'll be back with our guests to keep the conversation flowing.

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Speaker 2: Right after this, you're listening to life audio.

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Speaker 1: And so it was two years of I know what

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Speaker 1: these women in the Bible who begged for children. I

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Speaker 1: mean her being drunken with tears. I know what that is.

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Speaker 1: I know what it is to go into the wee

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Speaker 1: hours of the night leading with God, Why why? Why? Why?

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Speaker 1: And then when I finally understood and I accepted, Okay,

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Speaker 1: the Lord is good regardless. His grace is sufficient for me.

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Speaker 1: And if I am not going to have children grow

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Speaker 1: in my womb, I know He's going to give them

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Speaker 1: to me some other way. Maybe I'm going to be

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Speaker 1: spiritually a mother of someone. Maybe I'm going to adopt children.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but whatever it is the Lord gives me,

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Speaker 1: I'll be content with. And I'm going to start I'm

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Speaker 1: going to stop fighting. And so I lay my unborn

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Speaker 1: child on the altar like Abraham did, and just let

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Speaker 1: the Holy Spirit do what he did, and lo and

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Speaker 1: behold not shortly after that, And I always say not

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Speaker 1: because of that, because we don't have the capability of

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Speaker 1: twisting God's arm for our miracle sake. Sure, but he's

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Speaker 1: good and he's a good dad. And the Lord healed

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Speaker 1: me supernaturally at a prayer meeting at church, and I

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Speaker 1: had surgery scheduled to fix it was chronic and nometriosis

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Speaker 1: that was causing my infertility, and so I was filled

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Speaker 1: with scar tissue inside my entire abdomen and it was

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Speaker 1: going to take hours to just clean it out to

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Speaker 1: provide relief from the pain. And when the doctor went in,

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Speaker 1: he's like, h He reached out to my husband. He's like, uh, sir,

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Speaker 1: I'm really confused. And my husband's like, why are you confused?

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Speaker 1: Like we're literally paying you to not be confused? Like why?

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Speaker 1: And he said, I'm confused because I knew that I

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Speaker 1: was going to spend at least four hours just cleaning everything,

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Speaker 1: and I'm searching and searching and searching for all this

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Speaker 1: scar tissue and nothing's there. All I see is beautiful, precious,

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Speaker 1: perfect organs. Wow, like a teenager womb ready to conceive.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 1: And he acknowledged and wrote it in the record, people

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Speaker 1: of faith, people of prayer, the only thing that explains

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Speaker 1: the disappearance of this thing is divine intervention. And so

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Speaker 1: four months after that surgery, I conceived my son, Ian,

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Speaker 1: the light of my life, and when he was six

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Speaker 1: months old, I conceived Kenzie. So it's like the miracle

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Speaker 1: and the overall moment quite a minute.

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Speaker 4: God, what a story? Yeah, what a story.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, in the middle of it, we believe

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Speaker 5: in a miracle working God.

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Speaker 4: We hold on to that.

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Speaker 5: We cry out, we all do. We cry out for

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Speaker 5: the miraculous every day in our lives.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 5: I think it was Einstein said there's only really two

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Speaker 5: ways to lift One is nothing's a miracle, or that

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Speaker 5: everything's a miracle. So in the midst of that journey,

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Speaker 5: and I know you're sensitive here for those who were

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Speaker 5: maybe on this journey, they'll be there.

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Speaker 4: There'll be a lot of women in this room tonight, yes,

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Speaker 4: who were in that.

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Speaker 5: I saw statistics up to twenty percent of women are infertile.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know that.

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Speaker 5: And then I want to add to the equation that

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Speaker 5: there's just and what do you say to them in

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Speaker 5: this story?

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Speaker 4: CHRISTI.

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Speaker 1: I remember when I wrote that in the book that

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Speaker 1: there was a conversation with my publisher and my editors

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Speaker 1: out of mercy for those that were walking that journey.

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Speaker 1: And I had a conversation with the Lord about it,

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Speaker 1: and I said, Lord, is me talking about this with

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Speaker 1: such security and joy being insensitive to those that are

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Speaker 1: going through this who maybe will never conceive. And the

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Speaker 1: Holy Spirit reminded me the testimony of Jesus is the

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Speaker 1: spirit of prophecy. It could very well be that in

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Speaker 1: the natural, in the reality, you are destined to not

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Speaker 1: see the miracle. But what if the Lord wants to

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Speaker 1: increase your faith with stories like this and change your

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Speaker 1: reality into the truth that he still heals, he still restores,

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Speaker 1: and he still can create something out of nothing. I mean,

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Speaker 1: he did it with me. I was typical statistics. I

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Speaker 1: was not supposed to have children, but somebody else's testimony

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Speaker 1: invigorated my faith.

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Speaker 5: So what I hear you saying then, is this, Wrap

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Speaker 5: yourself in the love of God. Yes, stay rooted there

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Speaker 5: and somehow, some way God does what only he can

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Speaker 5: do and will do by the way, and stay.

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Speaker 1: Anchored in the love of God. Stay focused as that

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Speaker 1: your priority is to love the Lord with every part

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Speaker 1: of yourself and just let him do him. Yes, and

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Speaker 1: you do you. We don't have to do much. We

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Speaker 1: just have to trust, obey, love, and serve him. That's it.

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Speaker 1: And he does the rest. And He always finds a

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Speaker 1: way to make terrible things work together for the good

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Speaker 1: of those who love him and are called according to

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Speaker 1: his purpose. And we will see.

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Speaker 5: I'd love an old Max Loocato book exact that we've

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Speaker 5: gone over with Max before.

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Speaker 4: You will get through this.

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Speaker 3: Yes you will.

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Speaker 2: I remember sitting in a room with doctor j Strack

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Speaker 2: from Student Leadership University years ago. There was about fifty

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Speaker 2: kind of young adult pastors and ministry leaders in the

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Speaker 2: room and he got up there and he started crying

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Speaker 2: and he said, I'm so sick and tired of dry

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Speaker 2: eyed Christianity. He said, where you have pastors and you

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Speaker 2: have leaders who are going to bed every night with

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Speaker 2: their PhDs and their books on the shelves and their

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Speaker 2: cars and all of these different things, where you have

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Speaker 2: children and you have people that are broken crying themselves

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Speaker 2: to sleep. But then he says, this be weary that

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Speaker 2: you not commit the sin of the desert. And everybody

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Speaker 2: in the room is like, I've heard of a lot

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Speaker 2: of sins, but I ain't ever heard of the sin

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Speaker 2: of the desert. WHOA, And he said, the sin of

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Speaker 2: the desert is when you know where the water is

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Speaker 2: and you don't share it. So when I hear your

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Speaker 2: story about being willing to say you know what, I

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Speaker 2: want to share that because you know I'm not being insensitive,

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Speaker 2: but I'm speaking to the power of the Almighty. That's

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Speaker 2: a beautiful thing because I think you're sharing water or

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Speaker 2: for other people to add belief, to add expectation into

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Speaker 2: their life. Where I want to go with this is

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Speaker 2: you talk a lot about God's promises, and sometimes in

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Speaker 2: the middle of suffering we misinterpret or we misunderstand what

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Speaker 2: He's actually trying to get to. I think of Roman's

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Speaker 2: eight twenty eight, for we know that all things work

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Speaker 2: together for the good of those who love God and

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Speaker 2: who have been called according to His purpose. Right, And

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Speaker 2: we think good means comfortable the answer prayer the exact

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Speaker 2: way that I expected to get it, Yeah, convenient. But

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Speaker 2: God's definition of good is right after that in Romans

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Speaker 2: eight twenty nine. For those he four knew, he also

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Speaker 2: predestined that they might be conformed to the image of

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Speaker 2: his son. Now remember a pastor looked at me and

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Speaker 2: asked this question. Christine said, Zach, if good in your

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Speaker 2: eyes when you pray to God for him to do

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Speaker 2: something good, is it making your life more comfortable or

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Speaker 2: is it making his name more glorified? So speak to

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Speaker 2: the promises that God can answer to make sure we

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Speaker 2: actually have a right understanding.

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Speaker 1: You're taking me to church, zach is, how anointed are you?

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Speaker 1: Thank you? I will say this, every time God comes through,

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Speaker 1: the enemy will try to counterfeit or to destroy the

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Speaker 1: faith that is built in you when God comes through.

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Speaker 1: That is all over the Bible, and it's all over

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Speaker 1: many generations of Christians throughout the years. For me, that

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Speaker 1: was celebrating the miracle of having a child twice when

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Speaker 1: I shouldn't have and then falling immediately after I birth

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Speaker 1: my daughter into a severe postpartum depression.

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Speaker 4: Doesn't make sense.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't and you know what where it really doesn't

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Speaker 1: make sense. It doesn't make sense that it happened to

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Speaker 1: me because my personality is the antithesis of depression. I

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Speaker 1: am the one that arrives and hugs everybody and has

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Speaker 1: a smile for everybody, has an encouragement for everybody. It's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: my God, you know how great life is. That's just

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Speaker 1: naturally who I am. I'm just this big giggler. And

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Speaker 1: there was one thing that I always said and expected

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Speaker 1: throughout pregnancy and labor and delivery. Oh, I never even

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Speaker 1: paid attention to like, oh, let's talk about mental health

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Speaker 1: and you know all those stuff that happens after and

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Speaker 1: like yeah, I'm not even going to pay attention to

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Speaker 1: that in my prenatal class because it's definitely.

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Speaker 3: Not going to happen to me.

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Speaker 1: I'm not the one that's going to have to go

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Speaker 1: to a therapist after birthing. No, I have the Lord

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Speaker 1: and I pray and I'm fast. And I also ignored

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Speaker 1: that there were things still inhabiting my body from my

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Speaker 1: childhood that I never dealt with. And so when I

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Speaker 1: finally it wasn't when I birthed my son. It was

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Speaker 1: when I birthed my daughter that somehow my nervous system

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Speaker 1: started bringing stuff up because there was a little girl

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Speaker 1: with my DNA that was reactivating stuff that had been

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Speaker 1: pushed down and buried away for years. Because why because

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Speaker 1: versus taken out of context, like what the joy of

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Speaker 1: the Lord is my strength? I need to smile? Oh no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: don't cry because the Lord is with you. Or you

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Speaker 1: need to pray more and you need a fast more.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, I am praying and fasting, but

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Speaker 1: what is going on my mind is taking me down

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Speaker 1: this It's not even a slippery slope. It's just like

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Speaker 1: a free fall down into an abyss. And my biggest

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Speaker 1: predicament was how could a leader in the faith, with

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Speaker 1: such strong faith, a person who would live and die

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Speaker 1: for the truth of God, God's life and life abundantly,

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Speaker 1: could be struggling with thoughts of death Because one of

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Speaker 1: my biggest symptoms that I wrestled with for months was

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Speaker 1: suicide and I had no clue what I was dealing with.

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Speaker 1: And the more I prayed and fasted, and yes, I

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Speaker 1: talked with the Lord every day and felt his presence vividly,

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Speaker 1: but I couldn't get these thoughts out of my head.

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Speaker 1: And so for me, talking about the shame we were

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Speaker 1: talking about, shame was a safety blanket, and I became

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Speaker 1: a prisoner of that shame. It was asphyxiating any strand

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Speaker 1: of hope that I may have had.

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Speaker 4: It becomes your identity.

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Speaker 1: It became my identity because what if people found out

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Speaker 1: is what I kept thinking. If anyone found out, I

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Speaker 1: would be a failure, I would be a hypocrite. What

437
00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 1: would I be considered as Because again, back then, I

438
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,639
Speaker 1: thought that I was what I did. So if I

439
00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 1: was rendered incapable of doing what I did, then who

440
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 1: was I without the platform? Who was I without the smiles?

441
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 1: And the joy of the Lord who was I if

442
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:11,440
Speaker 1: I couldn't say I am well, absolutely everything's fine.

443
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:16,920
Speaker 5: And in that journey, as we now talk about neuropathways,

444
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,960
Speaker 5: you develop this kind of rutting in your brain. In

445
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:24,920
Speaker 5: other words, these pathways develop and they become overwhelming or strong,

446
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 5: and instead of being able to release the thought, you

447
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 5: begin to marinate on it, ruminate on it.

448
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:31,920
Speaker 4: And by the way, it.

449
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:35,159
Speaker 5: Becomes more and more who you are, because that's all

450
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 5: you're thinking about and you're living in it.

451
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,880
Speaker 4: And by the way, it gets dark in those places.

452
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 1: And it multiplies.

453
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:44,359
Speaker 5: And in counseling we often talk about dealing with explosives.

454
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,680
Speaker 5: Often what we're doing is we're walking into a situation

455
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 5: where this is about to go off.

456
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:49,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know what I mean.

457
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 5: And seriously, and in the midst of it, you have

458
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:55,640
Speaker 5: to enter into the darkness with them.

459
00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:56,960
Speaker 4: And that's.

460
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:06,680
Speaker 5: Dangerous, challenging, tedious work. Yeah, as you be found yourself

461
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 5: in a spin, what really was going on? I want

462
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 5: I want people to go there one, I want them

463
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 5: to hear it, I want them to feel it for

464
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 5: a moment.

465
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 1: This is what it was for me. And here's here's

466
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:23,199
Speaker 1: the lie that I made. The mistake of embracing. I

467
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:27,480
Speaker 1: believe that when we fall into a spiral that leads

468
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:33,760
Speaker 1: to mental illness, it usually starts with a statement the

469
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:37,480
Speaker 1: enemy places in your brain and you embrace it.

470
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 3: It's a father false narrative.

471
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:41,680
Speaker 1: It's a false narrative that you embrace and you believe

472
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:43,639
Speaker 1: it comes from you, and then you keep thinking it

473
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:47,280
Speaker 1: and it multiplies because our brain is this wonderful thing

474
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 1: that the Lord has given us that helps us to

475
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 1: anchor to truth and enact faith so that it becomes

476
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:59,159
Speaker 1: the evidence of things unseen. But when we fear and

477
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 1: when we're bound by shame, it's like we're using the

478
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 1: power of faith that we have and we're placing it

479
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:10,399
Speaker 1: in another place, and so things materialize. But opposite to

480
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,560
Speaker 1: what faith would do is what fear does. It'll still

481
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 1: multiply something. It just won't be what the Lord says

482
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:19,159
Speaker 1: about you. It'll be what the enemy says about you

483
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 1: that you believe comes from yourself. That was me where

484
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,440
Speaker 1: this was a lie. I feel very sad. This is

485
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,120
Speaker 1: how it started a few days after my daughter was born.

486
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:33,359
Speaker 1: I feel very very sad. Let me go cry. Then

487
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 1: I would cry, and I would come out feeling sadder.

488
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:39,919
Speaker 1: Then a few days of that became why am I

489
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 1: so sad? I have these two beautiful miracles that I

490
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,000
Speaker 1: begged the Lord for in his mercy he gave to me,

491
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:52,640
Speaker 1: and they're filled with purpose. Why am I crying when

492
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:56,199
Speaker 1: I should be joyful? And then that quickly turned into

493
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 1: how ungrateful am I right when I should be re

494
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:05,200
Speaker 1: ching and I can't. There must be something really wrong

495
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 1: with me, And then that turned into the Lord knew

496
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 1: what he was doing when he made me incapable of

497
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:17,679
Speaker 1: having children. I should not have asked for this, because

498
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,479
Speaker 1: he knew that this is where I would end up.

499
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,840
Speaker 1: But of course, you know, and I prayed in the

500
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,159
Speaker 1: name of Jesus. Well, he of course listened, because his

501
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 1: word cannot return him void. I just had to go and,

502
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 1: in my ignorance, ask for children, and he gave them

503
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:31,920
Speaker 1: to me. Yes, but he knew they were going to

504
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,879
Speaker 1: break me. Birthing broke me, and I will not be

505
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 1: able to find repair. The woman that I was is gone.

506
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 1: There's no turning back. And now I am going to

507
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 1: do a disservice to this children by having them be

508
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 1: raised by a crazy woman. I'm going to damage them

509
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 1: because I am damaged, and I've done everything I've known

510
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:59,879
Speaker 1: to do and nothing is working. And then that quickly

511
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 1: turned into self loathing and self condemnation, and then from

512
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:07,639
Speaker 1: self loathing it turned into hopelessness. I'm always going to

513
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,879
Speaker 1: be this way. Nobody understands. I have no one in

514
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 1: my life that could relate to this, that I can

515
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 1: talk to, that I know would understand and embrace this.

516
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 1: On the contrary, if I tell someone, I'm probably going

517
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,159
Speaker 1: to get shunned. And then if I get shunned, I

518
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,679
Speaker 1: won't get invited anywhere. And if I don't get invited anywhere,

519
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:28,120
Speaker 1: then how am I going to use honorariums and love

520
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:31,159
Speaker 1: offerings to pay for these children's.

521
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,600
Speaker 4: Milk and diapers? Right?

522
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:37,439
Speaker 5: It's just taking you to places that you don't need.

523
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:38,600
Speaker 5: You can't even imagine.

524
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

525
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:42,280
Speaker 1: And then the church, Oh yeah, the church is supposed

526
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 1: to repair the broken, but I don't know that.

527
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 4: Chur which compounds a shame and everything else.

528
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 1: Yes, And there were no leaders in my life that

529
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 1: I hadn't cultivated surrounding myself with wise, humble, spiritual counsel

530
00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 1: that could help me through something like that, because usually

531
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,040
Speaker 1: I was the one helping other What stuff like that.

532
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:03,680
Speaker 2: Right, So then what I would say is, how did

533
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 2: you wear the steps to begin that? Because there's a

534
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:07,640
Speaker 2: lot of people, we work with a lot of leaders

535
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,440
Speaker 2: that you know they're afraid of, whether it's moral failures,

536
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:12,520
Speaker 2: whether it's something that they're struggling with in silence, and

537
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 2: then the silence becomes deafening, and then all of a

538
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 2: sudden they live by what Jobie Martin says are the

539
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 2: three most dangerous words a man or a woman could say,

540
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 2: or I got this right, Oh, I got this on

541
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 2: my own. I'll navigate this by myself, and then we

542
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 2: struggle even more perpetually because, like we talked about, the

543
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 2: brain doesn't care if what you think is true. It

544
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:33,560
Speaker 2: just cares what you repeat. And so being able to recognize,

545
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:37,040
Speaker 2: then Christine, for you personally, how did you get to

546
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,719
Speaker 2: a place of surrender where you start letting other people

547
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 2: in so that way you could actually find the help.

548
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 4: Hope and healing. By the way, that's not easily done.

549
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 5: That's now, no no letting someone in, especially when you

550
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 5: have letting some light into the darkness.

551
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 2: Yes, when you have influence, when you're bubbly, when people

552
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:54,959
Speaker 2: know you, Yeah, how'd you do it okay.

553
00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 1: My father loves me so much that he had to

554
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 1: come in and set me up for success. And he

555
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:08,920
Speaker 1: knows me so well that he knows that I would

556
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:11,440
Speaker 1: have never confessed that of my own volition. I was

557
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 1: too afraid. I was too ashamed that I had fallen

558
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 1: into a place that he had delivered me from years before,

559
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 1: and now it was so much worse because now I

560
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 1: couldn't control it. Before I laid at his feet and

561
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 1: he started the spiritual healing in me, because that's the

562
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 1: only thing I cultivated, but I had not.

563
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:31,480
Speaker 4: How'd you get there?

564
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 3: Well?

565
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 4: In the darkness? Where did the light come from?

566
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 1: The day that would have been the eve of my suicide?

567
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 1: Because I had my plan. My plan was very advanced.

568
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:46,760
Speaker 1: I had tried it twice and the Lord had done

569
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 1: something to interrupt it. This time was like the definitive

570
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 1: that this is it. I was at my discharge appointment

571
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:58,920
Speaker 1: with my midwife. After that appointment, my plan was to

572
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:03,160
Speaker 1: go home and write my suicide notes and then just

573
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 1: find the opportunity. And she finished her discharge papers and

574
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 1: like put everything in the computer, said, your body is

575
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 1: healing so well. I mean, I was leading worship two

576
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 1: weeks after I pushed out a nine pound baby.

577
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:17,400
Speaker 4: My body was like, yeah, let's go, less go.

578
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 1: But my soul was like, we can't. We can't live anymore.

579
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:26,719
Speaker 1: It's too painful. And so she said, I have one

580
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:30,800
Speaker 1: more question before you go. Don't leave yet. So I

581
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:32,680
Speaker 1: already had like all my baby stuff on and I'll

582
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 1: put it all down and sat on the sofa so

583
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 1: I just have a seat. I have one more question.

584
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,720
Speaker 1: And then she pulled up an ottoman and like sat

585
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 1: in front of me, uncomfortably close, I must add, And

586
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 1: she got in my face and she said, how's your heart?

587
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:50,440
Speaker 1: What's going on inside you? And she just stood there,

588
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 1: didn't blink. It was like, are you gonna tell me?

589
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 1: Are you going to tell me? And I could have lied,

590
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:02,200
Speaker 1: but I I had a sense because I already knew

591
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: her to be a prophetess of the Lord. I already

592
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 1: knew her to be highly discerning. She was the midwife

593
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 1: that was, you know, every day she was praying over

594
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:11,480
Speaker 1: our files and praying over our babies. She had saved

595
00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 1: my son from dying out of pure discernment when he

596
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 1: was born. So I had a sense and a notion

597
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 1: that she would know if I was lying.

598
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 4: I thought there was a spiritual sensitivity.

599
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 1: It was absolutely the Holy Spirit through her. And when

600
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 1: she said that, I understand now that what she was

601
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 1: doing was she was sensing something wasn't right, and she

602
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 1: was opening up the door and granting me the space

603
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 1: and the permission to confess because she also knew me,

604
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 1: and she knew me to be a strong woman of

605
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 1: God that would for nothing lead anyone astray with confessing

606
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:53,840
Speaker 1: something like that. And when she said that, I looked

607
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:57,840
Speaker 1: at her split second decision said, well, she's going to know.

608
00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,959
Speaker 1: Let me just tell her, and I told her everything.

609
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:03,880
Speaker 1: I'm too sad. The sadder I am, the more I cry,

610
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 1: the more I cry, the sadder I am. I feel

611
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:09,640
Speaker 1: like an ingrade. I told her everything. I'm hopeless. I

612
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,280
Speaker 1: don't know what to do. I don't know how to parent.

613
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm gonna break these children. And I

614
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:18,760
Speaker 1: struggle with the idea of being alive tomorrow and I

615
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 1: already have a plan to not be and I just

616
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 1: broke down. It was such a relief to get it

617
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 1: off my chest. And as I broke down, she started

618
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:35,360
Speaker 1: bawling with me. And then I was like, wait a minute,

619
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 1: hold on I know I am crying, but why are

620
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:41,840
Speaker 1: you crying? And she said, I was, sweetheart. I don't

621
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 1: have to be an expert to know that you have

622
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 1: a severe postpartum depression, and I know that.

623
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 5: It can be very, very real and incredibly common, and

624
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:53,440
Speaker 5: like one in four.

625
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 1: Women in the United States with children from the ages

626
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:59,760
Speaker 1: of zero to two go through postpartum depression, and one

627
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 1: in three of those women suffer suicide because of it.

628
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 5: They postpartum psychosis. I mean, it's going to you're going

629
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:11,759
Speaker 5: to dark. I was there. Here's an interesting piece. I

630
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:15,120
Speaker 5: want to stop, just for a second watch this. So

631
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 5: many people think that if I have a conversation with

632
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 5: someone about the darkness in their life, maybe thoughts of

633
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 5: suicide or something, that it may push them in that direction,

634
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 5: and they don't want to They don't want to ever

635
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:34,359
Speaker 5: think they contributed to someone taking their life, so they

636
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 5: don't have a conversation.

637
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:37,959
Speaker 4: But nothing could be further from the truth.

638
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:42,479
Speaker 5: That's having a conversation absolutely save someone's life.

639
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 1: They want to talk about it, that's right. They just

640
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:46,360
Speaker 1: don't know how.

641
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:47,839
Speaker 4: That they hate life.

642
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:50,920
Speaker 5: They hate life the way it is it is, and

643
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 5: they're not sure it can ever change.

644
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:54,720
Speaker 4: All they know is it's dark.

645
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:56,400
Speaker 3: Yeah. They don't even want to end their life. They

646
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 3: just want to end their pain.

647
00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:59,640
Speaker 1: They want to end the suffering. That's all it is.

648
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:04,240
Speaker 1: And for me, that experience gave me a very very

649
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:08,279
Speaker 1: high compassion for people that go through suicide because I

650
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 1: used to think, oh, that person committed suicide. How selfish.

651
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 1: They didn't think about No, it's actually the other way around.

652
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 1: They believe there's such a big burden to the people

653
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 1: they love that they come to know within themselves, in

654
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:29,200
Speaker 1: their reality, that maybe it'll be better for them if

655
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 1: the burden, which is me, is not there. So it's

656
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:36,680
Speaker 1: usually an act of serving the other people in their

657
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 1: lives as well as trying to end their suffering. And

658
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:44,240
Speaker 1: it's a twisted narrative that makes you think, oh, well

659
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 1: win when if I'm gone, nobody has to carry the

660
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:49,880
Speaker 1: weight of me and I end my suffering And that's

661
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 1: a very big lie. And then for me that day,

662
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:55,719
Speaker 1: when I'm telling this to my midwife and we're both

663
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,839
Speaker 1: crying and she's holding my hand, she says, I went

664
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 1: through the exact same thing you're describing when I had

665
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 1: my kids.

666
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 4: Wow.

667
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 1: And then it was like, wait, what you I'm not alone.

668
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 1: You are a spiritual gladiator in my book.

669
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:16,440
Speaker 4: And you went there and you went.

670
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 1: And you're so well now. And then she said, yeah,

671
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:20,760
Speaker 1: look at Elijah.

672
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:22,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, how'd you get here?

673
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 1: Right? Yeah? Why are you here? How did this happen?

674
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 1: That's exactly what it was for me. It was a

675
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:29,880
Speaker 1: big recommation.

676
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 4: So many factors that fuel this.

677
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:35,279
Speaker 5: You know that that's the kind of awareness again, go

678
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,279
Speaker 5: back to our love for mental health, Yeah, that we

679
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:40,600
Speaker 5: want to help bring to the church. Yes, I have

680
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:44,240
Speaker 5: a concern here, and I'll go back to this evening.

681
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:45,800
Speaker 4: Yeah.

682
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 5: CDC reported that what some fifty seven percent of our

683
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:53,360
Speaker 5: daughters and our granddaughter struggle with feeling persistently sad.

684
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:53,799
Speaker 4: That's right.

685
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:56,040
Speaker 3: This is since COVID twenty twenty three.

686
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:59,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, and then they found out that nearly thirty percent

687
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:04,400
Speaker 5: of our daughters and our granddaughters said seriously contemplated suicide.

688
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:06,759
Speaker 5: We don't have a mental health crisis, we have a

689
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:07,640
Speaker 5: mental health disaster.

690
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:08,360
Speaker 4: Yeah.

691
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:11,440
Speaker 5: And I just think about that narrative and the Father

692
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 5: of Lies and how he loves to take you to

693
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:16,640
Speaker 5: a place where you think that life would be better

694
00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:24,760
Speaker 5: off without you, and in your spin, it's like unrelenting.

695
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 4: Yes, it won't let go. It's come like it was

696
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 4: a swarm.

697
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 1: Of bees constantly for me, especially that suicide thing. It

698
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:39,760
Speaker 1: was harassing and demeaning and character breaking. It was horrible

699
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:41,920
Speaker 1: and it was it literally was like a swarm of

700
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 1: bees that wouldn't let up day night.

701
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:47,080
Speaker 4: People need people need to hear this, They need to

702
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:47,920
Speaker 4: understand this.

703
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:52,200
Speaker 1: And the anxiety wasn't allowing me to sleep as much,

704
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:54,799
Speaker 1: so I would I would finally fall asleep, maybe three

705
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 1: four in the morning, and if I didn't wake up

706
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:02,719
Speaker 1: in a panic sweat, I would dream that I was

707
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:06,719
Speaker 1: committing suicide. It was a I know, the enemy took

708
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:11,560
Speaker 1: a foothold into that traumadoor and made it into his

709
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 1: cozy apartment, and the intention was that I did not

710
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:20,840
Speaker 1: come out of it alive. The intention was to snuff

711
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:23,600
Speaker 1: whatever it was that the Lord wanted to do in

712
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:27,440
Speaker 1: and through me, so that I would be yet another

713
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 1: fallen gladiator, forgotten and let's move on with the same patterns. However, God,

714
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:43,680
Speaker 1: but God, God has a way of covering for us

715
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 1: when we cannot cover for ourselves. And he knew I

716
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 1: wasn't going to say it out of my own voluntary self.

717
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 1: So he made it so that the one person who

718
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 1: was equipped and authorized in the spirit to pull me

719
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 1: out of darkness and into light was there at the

720
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 1: right moment, at the right time, and sensitively discerning for

721
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 1: my sake. And what did she do. She didn't tell

722
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 1: me it's all gonna be all right. She said, this

723
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 1: is hard. Here you go. Here is a card or

724
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:23,759
Speaker 1: a therapist who is anointed, spirit filled. She is a

725
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:27,719
Speaker 1: prayer warrior first, and she also happens to be an

726
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 1: expert at all the issues you're going through. And then

727
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 1: she did something extra that is what saved my life.

728
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:38,840
Speaker 1: She became a lifeline. She said, Okay, here's the card.

729
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:41,239
Speaker 1: I want you to go. Before you take the car out,

730
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:43,839
Speaker 1: I want you to call and make an appointment. Oh

731
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:46,319
Speaker 1: I call you know, this is very sought after therapist.

732
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:51,520
Speaker 1: And nobody answered the phone. And so an hour later

733
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:53,640
Speaker 1: she's like, okay, did you call? Did you get your appointment?

734
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,640
Speaker 1: Like nobody's answering it. Do it again. I'm gonna text

735
00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:59,319
Speaker 1: you again in an hour, and then an hour she

736
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 1: did it like nobody answered you to call again. I'm

737
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 1: gonna text you again in an hour and for forty

738
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,880
Speaker 1: eight hours. Every waking hour, she was either calling me

739
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:11,320
Speaker 1: or texting me making sure that I had gotten that appointment.

740
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,239
Speaker 1: When I finally got it, I said, yeah, I got

741
00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:14,919
Speaker 1: the appointment, and it's going to be in a month.

742
00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:17,319
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm gonna make it. I was

743
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:21,560
Speaker 1: already in entering into postpartum psychosis because I was losing time, sure,

744
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:24,680
Speaker 1: and that was my fear that in that loss of time,

745
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 1: I was going to do something, either to the babies

746
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:28,280
Speaker 1: or to myself.

747
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:32,319
Speaker 5: People don't realize how strong of a draw that really is. Yes,

748
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:36,360
Speaker 5: it's an overwhelming thing that goes in the midst.

749
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 3: Of this Christine.

750
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 2: As you're talking about people walking alongside of you, that's

751
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:43,840
Speaker 2: the idea of counseling. It was the root word was

752
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:47,080
Speaker 2: that of guidance. Yeah, walk alongside of this crazy journey

753
00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:50,320
Speaker 2: that we called life together. And so God has really

754
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:53,280
Speaker 2: burdened on our hearts. As you're even referencing somebody walking

755
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:56,400
Speaker 2: alongside of you here at the American Association of Christian Counselors,

756
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 2: even with the backing of a family years ago led

757
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 2: by an incredible man in the room, Phil Smith, right

758
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:05,360
Speaker 2: over here, this idea of mental health coaching clinically excellent,

759
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:09,360
Speaker 2: distinctively Christian care and counsel that God has just, i

760
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:13,000
Speaker 2: mean completely spread like a wildfire throughout the Big C Church.

761
00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:15,839
Speaker 2: Over thirty to forty thousand churches have jumped on board this,

762
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:20,040
Speaker 2: over seventy five thousand students and members coaches all over

763
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:20,440
Speaker 2: the world.

764
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:21,640
Speaker 3: But then when we ask.

765
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:24,759
Speaker 2: Them and we're assessing, you know, how can we take

766
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 2: this more global? Yeah, one of the first requests was

767
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 2: to do it in youth, but then to do it

768
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:34,880
Speaker 2: in Spanish. And I wanted to talk about just mental

769
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:38,839
Speaker 2: health in the Latin American culture because I know there's

770
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:42,080
Speaker 2: this idea of machismo and different things where that masuism

771
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:43,319
Speaker 2: that I can do it on my own.

772
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:45,520
Speaker 3: All of this really kind.

773
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:48,799
Speaker 2: Of develops even a greater stigma around mental health care.

774
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:50,480
Speaker 2: And so I'd love to hear from you, as you've

775
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:52,759
Speaker 2: partnered alongside of us at the AACC, and you're such

776
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,600
Speaker 2: an advocate for mental health. You speak so openly and

777
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:59,440
Speaker 2: so vulnerably about these things, even this journey of suicidal idiation.

778
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:03,040
Speaker 2: What excites you in knowing that we have this training

779
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:06,760
Speaker 2: curriculum and program in Spanish for the Big Sea Global Church.

780
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:11,319
Speaker 1: Well, we live in a day and age within the

781
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:18,200
Speaker 1: church where stigma has literally been strangling the life out

782
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:24,240
Speaker 1: of leaders and churchgoers. They come to the spiritual leader first,

783
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:27,680
Speaker 1: and the spiritual leader is simply not prepared, and in

784
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 1: that unpreparedness, they treat them like levers. I don't know

785
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 1: what to do with you. Either pray more or.

786
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:37,520
Speaker 3: Say dare I say they over spiritualize it.

787
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:42,880
Speaker 1: Pray more, go to this retreat two day retreat, or

788
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:48,360
Speaker 1: there's so much that we don't know because we simply

789
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:51,719
Speaker 1: have chosen to ignore what's right in front of us.

790
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:57,359
Speaker 1: The Bible says, not me. The Bible says we are

791
00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:01,200
Speaker 1: to love the Lord, our God with all our heart, soul, mind,

792
00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:04,520
Speaker 1: and strength. And why does it say that? The statement

793
00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 1: of the Shemah, which is where that comes from, starts

794
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:12,320
Speaker 1: with the Lord, your God. The Lord is one, meaning

795
00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 1: he is integrated and in perfect harmony within himself. That

796
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:20,680
Speaker 1: is what we, as His children, are called to do

797
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 1: and be. But if we don't do the work to

798
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 1: be able to heal and clear out the heart, the mind,

799
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:32,200
Speaker 1: the soul, and the strength, do we really have business

800
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:36,200
Speaker 1: serving others if we're not serving ourselves. The greatest act

801
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 1: of self love is precisely that to do the work

802
00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:42,680
Speaker 1: to get to love God with everything in every area.

803
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 1: So what's happening in the church right now is we

804
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 1: are picking and choosing what's convenient for our comfort and

805
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:54,360
Speaker 1: our complacency within the Bible, and so we're delivering half truths.

806
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,919
Speaker 1: The problem is that one half truth is a whole lie,

807
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:01,759
Speaker 1: and we can even use the word of God to

808
00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 1: deceive by not doing the work fully. That's exactly what

809
00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:09,600
Speaker 1: the serpent did with Eve in the garden, gave her

810
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:12,040
Speaker 1: a half truth. And here we are now in a

811
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:17,880
Speaker 1: corrupted world. So when it comes to training, if we

812
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:20,160
Speaker 1: are going to truly be the spiritual ones that the

813
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:23,960
Speaker 1: Bible talks about, you who are spiritual, if someone among

814
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:28,080
Speaker 1: you is fallen, lift them up and heal them with

815
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 1: the spirit of humility. And it takes humility to admit

816
00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:35,040
Speaker 1: I don't know everything. As much as I get up

817
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:38,359
Speaker 1: on a platform and preach I don't know everything. I

818
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:40,719
Speaker 1: need to learn more. I need to equip myself more

819
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:42,799
Speaker 1: so that I can serve the body of Christ more

820
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:44,480
Speaker 1: because at the end of the day, as a child

821
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:46,960
Speaker 1: of God, I am called to take care of the

822
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:54,800
Speaker 1: body that I am a part of and it takes valiant, brave, humble,

823
00:44:55,360 --> 00:45:01,000
Speaker 1: spiritual people, yes, who know I don't know everything that

824
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:03,200
Speaker 1: I need to know to be able to serve these people.

825
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:06,520
Speaker 1: And I want the people that are around me that

826
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:10,920
Speaker 1: I serve to not die on my watch because I'm unprepared,

827
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:14,160
Speaker 1: and those are the people that are raising the charge.

828
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:16,879
Speaker 1: It's my dream, and I know it's the AACC's dream

829
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:20,400
Speaker 1: as well, to build an army of healers in our

830
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:25,800
Speaker 1: generation men so that we can flip the script whereas

831
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:28,720
Speaker 1: there are more of us that are broken. One day,

832
00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:32,280
Speaker 1: I truly believe, before I go home to see Jesus,

833
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 1: that there will be more of us that are unbroken

834
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:38,319
Speaker 1: because the Lord has done the kinsuki work in Essen.

835
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:42,120
Speaker 1: Liz has covered all the gaps, putting us through the

836
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:44,279
Speaker 1: furnace and us coming out as gold, so that we

837
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:48,600
Speaker 1: can comfort others because we've been comforted. And that's where

838
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:51,880
Speaker 1: things like the Mental Health Coach program and all the

839
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 1: resources that AACC and the Christine Declaro Foundation are putting together.

840
00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:59,120
Speaker 1: This is not something that we're trying to make into

841
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 1: yet another game. This is something our generation needs. And

842
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:05,279
Speaker 1: just look at the statistics of the people that are

843
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:09,160
Speaker 1: perishing to mental illness or losing hope to it. It's

844
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 1: not necessary, and frankly, with everything we have in our hands,

845
00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:19,040
Speaker 1: it's unacceptable that we don't use it and we become

846
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:23,760
Speaker 1: too comfortable within our own precepts to renew our mind

847
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:24,959
Speaker 1: for the sake of someone else.

848
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:25,480
Speaker 3: That's right.

849
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 2: We need people to step up and to step into

850
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:31,080
Speaker 2: this moment. Yeah, for such a time as this, so

851
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,920
Speaker 2: that way we can train up in army of believers

852
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:37,640
Speaker 2: that again are clinically excellent. Right, they understand a forty

853
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 2: two hour training program where it's being able to recognize, respond, relate,

854
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:45,640
Speaker 2: and refer as necessary to the mental health needs of

855
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 2: today's generation. Yes, we need those things, but also distinctively

856
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 2: rooted in the hope and the healing power.

857
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:53,759
Speaker 4: Of the Gospel.

858
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:56,239
Speaker 2: Exactly how I really want to kind of wrap up

859
00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:59,279
Speaker 2: our time together today, Christine, because I'm going to wrap

860
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 2: the last two question since I had kind of into one.

861
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:04,080
Speaker 2: I'm just thinking and it's been a common theme almost

862
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:06,560
Speaker 2: in every conversation I've had on the podcast for the

863
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:11,040
Speaker 2: last however many years. It's this idea of evidence and

864
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 2: the practice of remembrance. This entire book is a journey

865
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:19,759
Speaker 2: from suffering to healing to restoration, but being able to

866
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:22,520
Speaker 2: look back and to see the evidence the goodness, the

867
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:26,560
Speaker 2: faithfulness of God in our life time and time again.

868
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:28,880
Speaker 2: You were just out there during the soundtrack and you

869
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:32,880
Speaker 2: were singing this song about having seen story after story,

870
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:35,400
Speaker 2: lived all of these different stories in your lives. But

871
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:38,440
Speaker 2: not once has there ever been a moment, has there

872
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:42,080
Speaker 2: ever been a time where God has been unkind or unfaithful?

873
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:45,040
Speaker 2: To close this out with just depressing word of hope

874
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 2: to the person out there today, Christine, who feels depressed,

875
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:51,879
Speaker 2: who feels discouraged, who feels disappointed, who feels like they're

876
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:55,320
Speaker 2: in a pit of despair in a wilderness type of moment,

877
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 2: what's a final word of hope you give them today?

878
00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:01,759
Speaker 1: I would say to you who are going through a

879
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:07,040
Speaker 1: desert that though the circumstances may tell you the contrary,

880
00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:10,839
Speaker 1: you are not in the desert to die. You are

881
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 1: in the desert to learn how to live. Luke ten

882
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:18,960
Speaker 1: is very clear. Some experts in the law tried to

883
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:22,120
Speaker 1: entrap Jesus in his own words, and they asked him

884
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:25,759
Speaker 1: what we have to do to get eternal life? And

885
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:28,040
Speaker 1: his question was, well, how do you read the law.

886
00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:31,960
Speaker 1: What does it say? And they recited the shemah, The

887
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:33,799
Speaker 1: Lord your God, the Lord is one, and you shall

888
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:35,799
Speaker 1: love the Lord your God with all your heart, all

889
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:37,920
Speaker 1: your soul, all your mind, all your strength, and love

890
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:41,360
Speaker 1: others as you love yourself. And Jesus answer was very well,

891
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:44,239
Speaker 1: that's exactly right. But what he says at the end

892
00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:50,759
Speaker 1: is what impressed on me a transformation to understand that

893
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:52,960
Speaker 1: the desert is not where I go to die, It's

894
00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:54,640
Speaker 1: where I go to learn to live. He said, do

895
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:59,439
Speaker 1: this and you shall live. So I offer you this.

896
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:04,719
Speaker 1: What if you going through the desert is not for

897
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:09,320
Speaker 1: you to ask why anymore, but for you to ask

898
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:14,400
Speaker 1: what for? And for you to have an expectation that

899
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:17,000
Speaker 1: even though you're going through this period of suffering, it

900
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:20,360
Speaker 1: is only so that you can partake in the sufferings

901
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:23,839
Speaker 1: of Jesus Christ and become an inkling closer to who

902
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:26,560
Speaker 1: He is, for the sake not just of your healing,

903
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:28,560
Speaker 1: but the healing of those that are around you that

904
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,879
Speaker 1: you one day will see transformed because of what you're

905
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:35,640
Speaker 1: going through right now. What if this process is going

906
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:39,520
Speaker 1: to turn into a story that will be irrefutable evidence

907
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:42,920
Speaker 1: in the face of the enemy, that God still allows

908
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:48,080
Speaker 1: broken crayons to color beautiful works of art. What if

909
00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:54,520
Speaker 1: what you're finding in this desert equips you not just

910
00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 1: with wholeness, but with mantles and weapons and the equ

911
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:04,880
Speaker 1: hoping for the saints of God around you to finally

912
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:13,640
Speaker 1: see revival. What if you are actually shedding death and

913
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: entering into true living, Because at the end of the day,

914
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:21,160
Speaker 1: this desert is teaching you that your heart, your emotions,

915
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:26,280
Speaker 1: your soul, your spirit man, your mind, your thought patterns,

916
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:31,880
Speaker 1: and your body are worthy of having love exchanges with God,

917
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:36,279
Speaker 1: not just in the spirit, but in every other area.

918
00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:42,759
Speaker 1: What if you do this for right now and you

919
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:47,759
Speaker 1: learn to truly live. I leave you with that, and

920
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:51,000
Speaker 1: I pray that that is exactly what you learn from

921
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:53,799
Speaker 1: this desert. I pray that you are not in the

922
00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:58,520
Speaker 1: desert in an extended time That is unnecessary. But every moment,

923
00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:02,040
Speaker 1: every grain of sand get stuck in your eye, is

924
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:04,600
Speaker 1: for the Lord to show you how well he can

925
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 1: clean you, how well he can refine you, and how

926
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:12,480
Speaker 1: well he can use you. In the future. You're gonna

927
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:16,520
Speaker 1: be okay. You are not alone. There is hope for you.

928
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:20,680
Speaker 1: We are many who know what Healing in the Desert

929
00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 1: is like now bless you.

930
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:25,200
Speaker 2: Where can our audience members go to find out more

931
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:28,360
Speaker 2: about you? The Christine Declario Foundation, listen to some of

932
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:28,880
Speaker 2: your music.

933
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:29,280
Speaker 3: Obviously.

934
00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 2: Light University is where you can go to be a

935
00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:34,759
Speaker 2: part of the Spanish mental health Coach training program. Our

936
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:38,160
Speaker 2: youth are whatever it is regular mental health coach training program.

937
00:51:39,239 --> 00:51:41,040
Speaker 2: This is a time when I feel like people need

938
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:42,719
Speaker 2: this book now more than ever. Where can they also

939
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:44,920
Speaker 2: go to find and pick up a copy of Healing

940
00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:47,879
Speaker 2: in the Desert Finding your Voice on the Journey from

941
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:48,960
Speaker 2: Brokenness to Freedom.

942
00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:51,680
Speaker 1: You can find the book anywhere you like to buy books.

943
00:51:52,680 --> 00:51:56,680
Speaker 1: I'm an Amazon queen, so I'm trigger happy with Amazon.

944
00:51:56,719 --> 00:51:59,879
Speaker 1: That's the easiest way to find it. To the Dutch

945
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:03,560
Speaker 1: men of my husband's mental health, too many packages that

946
00:52:03,680 --> 00:52:07,160
Speaker 1: come to my home. And also if you want to

947
00:52:07,239 --> 00:52:09,920
Speaker 1: learn more about what we do for mental health and

948
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:13,600
Speaker 1: integral health and teaching the bride of Christ about the

949
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:15,960
Speaker 1: Shema and how to live it out, you can go

950
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:19,799
Speaker 1: to Christine Declariofoundation dot org or Christinaclara dot com if

951
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:21,320
Speaker 1: you want to do music, or you can find me

952
00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:24,120
Speaker 1: on all the DSPs and platforms. If you like Apple

953
00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:26,799
Speaker 1: if you like Spotify, there's my music. I'm on YouTube too,

954
00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 1: I'm on social media. Maybe google search Christine de Clario

955
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:31,320
Speaker 1: and find your spot.

956
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 2: I would hope and pray and encourage every listener, every

957
00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:38,399
Speaker 2: audience member, to make sure that you go. You pick

958
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:40,480
Speaker 2: up a copy today, You go find out more, go

959
00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:43,560
Speaker 2: listen to some music. This is a rock star. You're

960
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:46,040
Speaker 2: a game changer, your life changer. You're a world changer,

961
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:48,600
Speaker 2: my friend. All of us here at the American Association

962
00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:51,080
Speaker 2: of Christian Counselors we love you, We pray for you,

963
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:52,319
Speaker 2: and we love partnering with you.

964
00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:53,720
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for your time today.

965
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:56,440
Speaker 1: Very same feeling over here. I love you, guys.

966
00:52:56,960 --> 00:52:58,640
Speaker 2: I want to close this way to the build different audience.

967
00:52:58,680 --> 00:53:00,640
Speaker 2: First and foremost, thank you so much for joining and

968
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:04,160
Speaker 2: listening in. As Christine said, if that's you and you

969
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:06,719
Speaker 2: find yourself in the desert, what if the desert wasn't

970
00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:09,319
Speaker 2: the place you went to die, what if it was

971
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:10,760
Speaker 2: the place where you went.

972
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:13,879
Speaker 3: To learn how to live. I love that thought, my friend.

973
00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:16,560
Speaker 2: And again, don't commit this into the desert. When you

974
00:53:16,600 --> 00:53:19,239
Speaker 2: know where the water is, be sure to share it.

975
00:53:19,440 --> 00:53:20,680
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for joining us.

976
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:22,760
Speaker 1: We love being part of your life,