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Speaker 1: Life Audio.

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Speaker 2: Mommy wine culture disguises dependence as empowerment. It makes us

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Speaker 2: think this is self-care. This is sophistication. This is bonding.

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Speaker 1: This is liberation, baby. You deserve this. Look at those kids.

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Speaker 1: You've done a great job, mom. It's 430, sis.

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Speaker 2: You get to crack open that wine or that bottle

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Speaker 2: or whatever it is, and this is your reward for

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Speaker 2: making it through motherhood.

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Speaker 1: What is that?

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Speaker 3: Welcome to Love Life Sober. I'm your host and your coach,

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Speaker 3: Christy Osborne. This podcast is for the woman who loves

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Speaker 3: Jesus or is longing to reconnect with him and who

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Speaker 3: knows deep down that alcohol is no longer serving her.

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Speaker 3: Here we talk honestly with grace and truth about how

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Speaker 3: stepping away from alcohol opens the door to the love, joy,

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Speaker 3: peace and connection you've been searching for. Because babe, those

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Speaker 3: things were never meant to be found in a bottle

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Speaker 3: of wine. They're found in Jesus. Through scripture, coaching and neuroscience,

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Speaker 3: I'll help you make sense of your habits, your nervous system,

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Speaker 3: and what you're really craving so that freedom feels not

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Speaker 3: only possible, but sustainable. You don't have to do this alone, babe.

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Speaker 3: Let's dive in.

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Speaker 2: Hi, friends.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Love Life Sober.

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Speaker 3: Today's conversation is a really good one, especially if you're

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Speaker 3: a mom who has ever thought into the idea that

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Speaker 3: wine is just part of motherhood, that it's our reward

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Speaker 3: at the end of a long day, that it's how

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Speaker 3: we take the edge off, that after lunches are packed,

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Speaker 3: the kids are driven everywhere, the work is done, and

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Speaker 3: everybody else has been taken care of, we've earned that

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Speaker 3: glass of wine. My guest today is Catherine Redanz, and

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Speaker 3: she calls this out for exactly what it is. Catherine

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Speaker 3: is the woman behind No Wine in the Carpool Line,

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Speaker 3: and she has been talking about mommy wine culture and

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Speaker 3: sobriety for years. But what I love about this conversation

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Speaker 3: is that we don't just talk about mommy wine culture

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Speaker 3: and why it's problematic, we talk about what's underneath it.

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Speaker 3: Because if we take the wine away, we still have

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Speaker 3: to answer the question, what was I asking alcohol to

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Speaker 3: do for me? Catherine shares so openly about her own drinking,

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Speaker 3: how quickly it progressed when she was raising little kids,

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Speaker 3: the shame that kept her stuck, and what finally helped

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Speaker 3: her get honest about what was really happening. And we

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Speaker 3: get to talk about something Catherine doesn't always get the

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Speaker 3: opportunity to share, which is her faith. She has an

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Speaker 3: incredible story about one of the darkest nights of her

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Speaker 3: life when she truly believed her children might be better

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Speaker 3: off without her and how God met her there and

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Speaker 3: gave her the hope she needed to take the next step. Friends,

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Speaker 3: this is a raw, honest conversation, but it is so,

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Speaker 3: so full of hope. And speaking of taking the next step,

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Speaker 3: the next 40-day alcohol fast starts on Monday, on October 5th.

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Speaker 3: If you've been listening to this podcast and thinking, I

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Speaker 3: know alcohol isn't serving me anymore. I know I want

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Speaker 3: something different. I just don't know how to actually do it.

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Speaker 3: Then this is your opportunity. For 40 days, we are

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Speaker 3: going to do this together. You're going to have coaching.

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Speaker 3: You're going to have community. You are going to have

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Speaker 3: so much support. and women walking right alongside you as

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Speaker 3: you discover what life can look and feel like without

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Speaker 3: alcohol getting in the way. You do not have to

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Speaker 3: figure this out alone. Head to the show notes and

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Speaker 3: join us and come do these 40 days with me. Okay, friends,

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Speaker 3: let's get into my conversation with Catherine Redanz. Welcome back

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Speaker 3: to Love Life Sober. I'm here with my new friend,

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Speaker 3: Kat Radans.

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Speaker 2: Hey, babe.

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Speaker 1: How are you? I'm so excited you're here. Hi, Christy. Oh,

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Speaker 1: my gosh. I'm so thrilled to be here. I couldn't

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Speaker 1: be more excited. Oh, I love that.

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Speaker 3: I was saying before we hit record that I feel

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Speaker 3: like you're one of the OG sober influencers on the Instagram.

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Speaker 3: I remember coming across you when I first started and

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Speaker 3: loving your content. And so will you just take us

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Speaker 3: back a little bit? And I cannot wait to talk

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Speaker 3: about the book, but will you take us back as

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Speaker 3: you were saying of just that moment when you realized

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Speaker 3: this is not actually anything to be ashamed of. This

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Speaker 3: is something to be celebrated. And you had this beautiful

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Speaker 3: opportunity to encourage other moms.

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Speaker 1: Gosh, thank you. First, thank you so much for that

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Speaker 1: incredible compliment.

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Speaker 2: Um, Yeah, I was in the carpool line one day

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Speaker 2: and I was eight years sober. Few people knew my story,

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Speaker 2: not very many. I was relatively new to town. We

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Speaker 2: had just moved here a few years before. And so

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Speaker 2: I didn't have a core group of friends that knew

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Speaker 2: me really, really well. I was sort of coming in

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Speaker 2: as the underdog, fresh off of a divorce, moving to

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Speaker 2: a new town and didn't really have a lot of

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Speaker 2: confidence or a lot of friends yet. And I was

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Speaker 2: sitting in the carpool line one day And I overheard

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Speaker 2: some moms behind me talking about me and they didn't

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Speaker 2: know that I was me. They were talking about Catherine

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Speaker 2: and saying the crazy stuff that she was doing when

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Speaker 2: she was drinking. And oh my gosh, can you believe

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Speaker 2: that she was this alcoholic? And oh, well, you know,

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Speaker 2: she's sober now. Well, that's what she says, like things

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Speaker 2: like that.

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Speaker 1: And oh my God. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And this was a religious school too. Our children have

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Speaker 2: all gone through religious school. And so I was it

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Speaker 2: was excruciatingly disappointing. Number one, because I was supposed to

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Speaker 2: be in a safe place. And number two, some of

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Speaker 2: the things they were saying weren't true. And number three,

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Speaker 2: nothing they were saying was nice. And I thought this,

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Speaker 2: this hurts so badly. And so I went home that

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Speaker 2: night and certainly didn't show any emotion in front of

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Speaker 2: my children about it.

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Speaker 1: I picked them up and went along the rest of

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Speaker 1: our schedule.

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Speaker 2: And I got home that night and I was talking

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Speaker 2: to my husband and I was saying, gosh, can you

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Speaker 2: believe they were saying these things? And I was crying

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Speaker 2: and I was just to pieces because alcoholism, especially with mothers,

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Speaker 2: brings an incredible amount of shame at times because it's

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Speaker 2: more normal, I would say, for the dads to be

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Speaker 2: the alcoholics. You know, you grew up knowing, oh, well,

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Speaker 2: her dad's an alcoholic or his dad's an alcoholic. And

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Speaker 2: it was kind of that quiet, secret, hush thing. And

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Speaker 2: And I thought, gosh, this is so hard. I've been

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Speaker 2: sober for eight years, and I still feel like I'm

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Speaker 2: getting dogged by this. And how can this be? And

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Speaker 2: I was just rolling around in bed. And then finally,

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Speaker 2: I fell asleep. And I woke up at about, I

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Speaker 2: don't know, two o'clock in the morning, those same pervasive thoughts,

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Speaker 2: just these ruminating thoughts of worthlessness and pain and shame

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Speaker 2: on you, and your children should be ashamed of you.

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Speaker 2: And these are all things that I'm saying to myself.

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Speaker 2: And I don't know what happened. It was in that

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Speaker 2: moment that I had this instant of rage and fearlessness

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Speaker 2: at the same time. And I had a private Instagram account,

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Speaker 2: but of course, I didn't have a public Instagram account.

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Speaker 1: So right there at two o'clock in the.

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Speaker 2: Morning, I got on Instagram and the phrase no wine

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Speaker 2: in the carpool line came into my head.

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Speaker 1: It rhymes, you know, I'm a writer.

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Speaker 2: So I'm always twisting the weird words and trying to

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Speaker 2: make things sound better and visual at the same time.

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Speaker 2: And So I started that handle and my first post

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Speaker 2: was just this litany of, why are you doing this

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Speaker 2: to us? Why are you shaming us for getting help?

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Speaker 2: Why are you shaming us for being vocal about our sobriety?

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Speaker 1: No more.

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Speaker 2: And I just kind of went off, something I've never

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Speaker 2: done before. And I did that several days in a row.

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Speaker 2: And then I just kept writing and writing. And then

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Speaker 2: the platform started growing. And then people started emailing me

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Speaker 2: and DMing me and saying, oh my gosh, your story

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Speaker 2: sounds just like my story.

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Speaker 1: And I said, really?

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Speaker 2: And at first I was so afraid being online because

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Speaker 2: I thought all of these horrible new people are going

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Speaker 2: to come from the internet that we've all.

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Speaker 1: Been taught and they'll crucify you. And it did happen.

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Speaker 1: People did, people still do. And that's totally fine with me.

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Speaker 1: It's part of the.

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Speaker 2: Reckoning of this disease and letting people know that It's

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Speaker 2: okay to feel this way.

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Speaker 1: It's okay. This is going to happen.

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Speaker 2: People might say nasty things to you.

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Speaker 1: You might say nasty things to yourself, but it's all

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Speaker 1: in what we do with it.

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Speaker 2: Are we going to turn it into purpose or are

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Speaker 2: we going to keep ruminating in that pain?

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Speaker 1: Why in the world would I do that? I don't

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Speaker 1: want my children to think that.

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Speaker 2: I don't want my children to think I'm ashamed of

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Speaker 2: something that I've done in my life.

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Speaker 1: I need to get up. I need to talk.

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Speaker 2: I need to say everything that I need to say

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Speaker 2: so that people can hear this and know that they're

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Speaker 2: not alone. And more than that, so that my children

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Speaker 2: would know that if you have a problem and it's

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Speaker 2: something that you're willing to address honestly, openly, and faithfully,

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Speaker 2: you can.

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Speaker 1: Get through it.

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Speaker 2: You can get through it and it might be tough, but, um,

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Speaker 2: but there's always a way out. So that's kind of

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Speaker 2: how I started. And then once I started the Instagram,

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Speaker 2: I started finding more sober accounts and I had never

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Speaker 2: looked at sober Instagram, sober anything. I didn't, there wasn't

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Speaker 2: really a sobriety movement, you know, when, when I got

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Speaker 2: online and started doing all of this and, Then slowly

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Speaker 2: but surely over the next two and three years, I

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Speaker 2: started to see dozens of accounts, now hundreds. And people

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Speaker 2: are all sort of waking up to this idea that

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Speaker 2: we need to save ourselves and.

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Speaker 1: Especially the moms.

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Speaker 2: We need to get out and talk to each other

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Speaker 2: and tell each other, oh, really, you did that? I

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Speaker 2: did that too. And I did that worse. Let me

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Speaker 2: tell you what I did. And how did you get

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Speaker 2: through that?

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Speaker 1: And opening the.

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Speaker 2: Dialogue so that it's not so shameful and not so

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Speaker 2: scary and not so secretive.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know any other alcoholic moms. I didn't think

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Speaker 1: I did. Of course I did. But I didn't think

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Speaker 1: that I did because nobody was talking about it, right?

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Speaker 1: Nobody was like me.

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Speaker 2: I was the only mom out of a school of

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Speaker 2: 700 moms that was struggling in silence with alcoholism.

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Speaker 1: This is what I thought. Yeah, me too.

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Speaker 2: So, you know, me, a little bit of a loud mouth,

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Speaker 2: just got online and started talking about it.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I love that so much. So we'll

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Speaker 3: be back right after a quick word from our sponsors.

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Speaker 1: So how old were your kids when you.

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Speaker 3: stopped drinking? I would just love to like spend a

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Speaker 3: few minutes like encouraging the mom who still has littles

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Speaker 3: at home and is really struggling with this because there

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Speaker 3: are women in my community. Like I think I said

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Speaker 3: to you, like I had a post this morning of,

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Speaker 3: you know, a young mom, four kids at home.

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Speaker 1: And she's struggling.

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Speaker 3: So what made you decide to finally just put it

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Speaker 3: down once and for all? What helped?

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Speaker 2: Gosh, that was the hardest part. Obviously, the beginning was

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Speaker 2: the hardest part. I was pretty sure that I had

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Speaker 2: a really serious problem. My husband had spoken to me

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Speaker 2: many times about how much I was drinking, not just

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Speaker 2: when we were out with friends or out to dinner

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Speaker 2: or going to a party or show or something like that,

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Speaker 2: but even when we were at home and he traveled

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Speaker 2: a great deal for business. And so I had opportunities

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Speaker 2: that a lot of moms didn't have. And that's being

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Speaker 2: home alone late at night with young children. My daughter

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Speaker 2: was six when I began struggling. My next child in

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Speaker 2: line is a boy and he was four and the

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Speaker 2: baby was almost two. I didn't actually start my really

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Speaker 2: destructive relationship with alcohol until after my first three children

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Speaker 2: were born. Things were moving along pretty well. You know,

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Speaker 2: everybody was working and trying to get to school and

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Speaker 2: play dates and all those kind of things. And I

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Speaker 2: was trying to mother three children, six and under. And

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Speaker 2: for some women, hey, that's a natural thing for them.

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Speaker 2: They're able to do it and it just completes their

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Speaker 2: entire life. For me, I was finding a great deal

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Speaker 2: of struggle in it. And it was all I ever

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Speaker 2: wanted to do was to mother my children. I loved

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Speaker 2: them and loved them more than anything, right? But there

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Speaker 2: was something about it I wasn't able to handle. I,

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Speaker 2: you know, the tantrums and the crying and the clothes

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Speaker 2: and the dinners and the, play dates and all the things.

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Speaker 2: And I was starting to sort of go underwater with this.

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Speaker 2: And I thought, how are you going on? Kevin, you

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Speaker 2: have a master's degree, get up, get your stuff together,

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Speaker 2: do it and just get it done.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't, I just couldn't do it.

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Speaker 2: The one glass of wine started turning into two to three.

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Speaker 2: Then it turned into straight whiskey because wine wasn't going to,

254
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Speaker 2: wine was like water for me at the end. And

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Speaker 2: so the first thing I did was stay in denial

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Speaker 2: for six months. Didn't tell anybody, kept drinking, would sort of,

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Speaker 2: leave comments hanging out and in conversation with people about

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Speaker 2: my drinking, sort of waiting for somebody to pick it

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Speaker 2: up because I wasn't quite strong enough to say, I

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Speaker 2: think I'm having a problem. But nobody was really picking

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Speaker 2: it up. I think people were sort of talking a

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Speaker 2: little bit behind the scenes. I know that my husband

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Speaker 2: was speaking with his parents about it, with my parents

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Speaker 2: about it. And I really did think that I could

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Speaker 2: get it under control until I realized that waking up

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Speaker 2: in the.

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Speaker 1: Packing the lunches was becoming a chore.

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Speaker 2: Wanting to do anything with enthusiasm was trying to hype

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Speaker 2: myself up.

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Speaker 1: There was nothing that was making me happy anymore.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't finding joy in everyday moments. It was just

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Speaker 2: slowly slipping away little bit by little bit. And so

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Speaker 2: I called my dad and I thought, maybe I should.

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Speaker 1: Go to an AA meeting.

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Speaker 2: And I didn't really talk to him about that, but

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Speaker 2: I told him maybe I thought I had a little

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Speaker 2: bit of a problem. And I had a really close

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Speaker 2: friend who had gotten sober the year before me. She

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Speaker 2: didn't have kids yet. And I called her and said,

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Speaker 2: can you take me to an AA meeting? We went

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Speaker 2: to an AA meeting and I got really psyched about it.

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Speaker 2: And I thought, okay, I'm in the right place. And

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Speaker 2: I did that a little bit here and there, but

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Speaker 2: I wasn't all in. There was no way that I

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Speaker 2: was ready to commit. And that was one of my first,

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Speaker 2: I think, major stumbling blocks on my.

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Speaker 1: Path is that I thought that I could easily go

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Speaker 1: all in.

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Speaker 2: I thought that going to an AA meeting and finding

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Speaker 2: a sponsor and saying I would go five days a

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Speaker 2: week would solve my problem. I had no idea that

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Speaker 2: it was going to take our true gut check and

293
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Speaker 2: real soul work. Like you have to get down to

294
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Speaker 2: why are you drinking in the first place? This doesn't

295
00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:02,500
Speaker 2: have anything to do with your husband. This doesn't have

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Speaker 2: anything to do with your kids. This has something to

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Speaker 2: do inside. And that's true for every single one of us.

298
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Speaker 2: When we have to take accountability within our alcoholism, we

299
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Speaker 2: have to realize that we are the root. It is

300
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Speaker 2: not because of a divorce. It is not because of

301
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Speaker 2: something that's going on with your spouse. It's because of

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Speaker 2: something that started within. Those things all might be a

303
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Speaker 2: product of what I'm doing, but that's not what caused it.

304
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Speaker 2: And so I didn't figure that out for a while.

305
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Speaker 2: It took me probably another year of sort of bouncing

306
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Speaker 2: in and out of maybe daily treatment centers or just,

307
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Speaker 2: you know, kind of half weighing it all the way

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Speaker 2: through and, and nothing was changing. Um, That would be

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Speaker 2: my biggest warning for anybody that comes to me for help.

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Speaker 2: And it is, is that please don't ignore these signs.

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Speaker 2: These things are serious. And this is a progressive disease.

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Speaker 2: We think that if we stop drinking for four months

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Speaker 2: or four weeks or four days, that we have that

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Speaker 2: much of sobriety. And so, okay, we've gotten that under

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Speaker 2: our belts. I'm going to go here forward.

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Speaker 1: And that's true. Let's try that.

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Speaker 2: But if you don't, we have to realize that where

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Speaker 2: we stop drinking, that's not where we start again.

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Speaker 1: We start above that.

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Speaker 2: And one of the facts that my family kept telling me, Kat,

321
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Speaker 2: if you can stay sober for a month, that's great.

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Speaker 2: But if you relapse, it's not relapsing back to where

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Speaker 2: you think you stopped drinking. Just fill in all that

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00:15:20,890 --> 00:15:23,530
Speaker 2: sober time with drinking. That's really what it's like. And

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Speaker 2: people can argue with me all day long.

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Speaker 1: They do. I don't care. This is a scientific fact.

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Speaker 1: And I'm living proof. I did the same thing. I mean,

328
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Speaker 1: you know, and you think, oh.

329
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Speaker 2: I've gotten this much time, so I can probably handle

330
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Speaker 2: this a little bit. But the slippery slope got really,

331
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Speaker 2: really fast.

332
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Speaker 1: And I ended.

333
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Speaker 2: Up finally in a 90-day treatment center. And it was

334
00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:46,770
Speaker 2: really for professionals. It was for moms, dads, women, men

335
00:15:46,890 --> 00:15:49,950
Speaker 2: who have been in some sort of professional capacity setting

336
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:52,550
Speaker 2: so that they were around other adults. It was almost

337
00:15:52,590 --> 00:15:54,380
Speaker 2: like you were going to an office every day. And

338
00:15:54,390 --> 00:15:56,280
Speaker 2: I found this to be really useful for me because

339
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Speaker 2: I was with people that were really highly functioning alcoholics.

340
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Speaker 2: I wasn't a non-functioning alcoholic or someone who's never been

341
00:16:03,260 --> 00:16:05,550
Speaker 2: a go-getter. I can set my mind to something and

342
00:16:05,570 --> 00:16:06,950
Speaker 2: I can do it. And this had to be the

343
00:16:06,970 --> 00:16:09,670
Speaker 2: same way, but I needed to be with other people

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00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:12,950
Speaker 2: that had that same kind of dogged mentality. Like I

345
00:16:13,010 --> 00:16:14,750
Speaker 2: have to get this thing licked and I haven't been

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00:16:14,770 --> 00:16:16,250
Speaker 2: able to do it. And I found that to be

347
00:16:16,690 --> 00:16:19,250
Speaker 2: extremely beneficial. I had been in and out of several

348
00:16:19,330 --> 00:16:23,270
Speaker 2: other treatment centers along the way within that first year

349
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:26,859
Speaker 2: period and nothing was really sticking. And I think sometimes

350
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Speaker 2: my family probably thought she's just not trying. She's not

351
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Speaker 2: trying this. And I kept saying, the people where.

352
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Speaker 1: I am are not like me.

353
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Speaker 2: And you know, call it what you will, spoiled, privileged, whatever,

354
00:16:37,490 --> 00:16:40,730
Speaker 2: but every single person is worth sobriety and every single

355
00:16:40,770 --> 00:16:44,130
Speaker 2: person is worth the fight. And just because you're able

356
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,390
Speaker 2: to find a resource or get into a program or

357
00:16:46,430 --> 00:16:48,510
Speaker 2: something like that doesn't automatically mean that you're going to

358
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,690
Speaker 2: get sober. It still takes a gut check. It still

359
00:16:50,730 --> 00:16:53,830
Speaker 2: takes everything that you have from within. And that's part

360
00:16:53,870 --> 00:16:55,490
Speaker 2: of the thing that I didn't realize is I thought

361
00:16:55,510 --> 00:16:59,350
Speaker 2: this was probably going to be just about as easy

362
00:16:59,410 --> 00:17:01,450
Speaker 2: if I worked hard enough at it as everything else

363
00:17:01,490 --> 00:17:03,210
Speaker 2: was in my life. And I was just dead wrong.

364
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Speaker 3: There's so much there, babe. There's so many encouraging things

365
00:17:06,890 --> 00:17:09,550
Speaker 3: that you said. I want to go back to when

366
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Speaker 3: you mentioned, you know, not blaming, not blaming the divorce

367
00:17:12,190 --> 00:17:14,210
Speaker 3: or not blaming the kids or whatever it is and

368
00:17:14,310 --> 00:17:16,770
Speaker 3: really getting under like the root of what that is.

369
00:17:17,130 --> 00:17:20,560
Speaker 3: Because I think there is actually so much encouragement in that.

370
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,320
Speaker 3: We don't have to play this victim anymore, right? Like

371
00:17:23,619 --> 00:17:26,580
Speaker 3: we get to make the conscious choice to transform our

372
00:17:26,619 --> 00:17:29,280
Speaker 3: lives by not drinking and It is not something that

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00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:32,600
Speaker 3: is necessarily happening to us. Like, it gets to happen

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00:17:32,780 --> 00:17:36,760
Speaker 3: for us, you know? And so I think some gals

375
00:17:36,780 --> 00:17:39,500
Speaker 3: that I've spoken to over the years are getting just

376
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:42,920
Speaker 3: stuck into the, well, the kids are a lot or,

377
00:17:42,940 --> 00:17:46,260
Speaker 3: you know, work is a lot or whatever it is

378
00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:50,020
Speaker 3: is too much to handle. That is why I'm drinking. Well,

379
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:53,300
Speaker 3: you know, that might be something that is, you know,

380
00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,620
Speaker 3: encouraging you to to pick up that glass, but that's

381
00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:59,420
Speaker 3: not making you pick up that glass. It's like you said,

382
00:17:59,460 --> 00:18:02,350
Speaker 3: the thing inside you. And so I want to talk

383
00:18:02,430 --> 00:18:06,470
Speaker 3: a little bit then about identity because you talk so

384
00:18:06,490 --> 00:18:10,970
Speaker 3: beautifully about mommy wine culture and this becoming an identity

385
00:18:11,109 --> 00:18:13,830
Speaker 3: and this is happening earlier and earlier and we don't

386
00:18:13,850 --> 00:18:18,450
Speaker 3: even recognize it that it's happening, which I certainly 100%

387
00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:20,760
Speaker 3: agree with because it happened to me. You know, listeners

388
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,760
Speaker 3: of this podcast probably have heard the term mommy wine culture.

389
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,280
Speaker 3: but will you just let us know kind of what

390
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,260
Speaker 3: it is, when it starts and why it's so dangerous?

391
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Speaker 1: Oh, sure. I love that you asked that, Christy.

392
00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:36,320
Speaker 2: Mommy wine culture to me is one of the biggest

393
00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:42,440
Speaker 2: problems facing mothers, motherhood, and more importantly, children, particularly in

394
00:18:42,540 --> 00:18:46,240
Speaker 2: our American society. I've always said Europe is ahead of

395
00:18:46,369 --> 00:18:50,170
Speaker 2: us in this movement. They always have been. My first

396
00:18:50,210 --> 00:18:52,910
Speaker 2: published work was published in Europe because the U.S. was like,

397
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:55,840
Speaker 2: we're not going to publish anything writing about mommy wine culture.

398
00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:59,140
Speaker 2: And the European sector was like, yeah, what is this? Hey,

399
00:18:59,740 --> 00:19:01,429
Speaker 2: bring us some more of this. We want to hear

400
00:19:01,450 --> 00:19:04,310
Speaker 2: what this is. You know, and I've said mommy wine

401
00:19:04,330 --> 00:19:10,320
Speaker 2: culture disguises dependence as empowerment. It makes us think This

402
00:19:10,390 --> 00:19:14,280
Speaker 2: is self-care. This is sophistication. This is bonding.

403
00:19:14,340 --> 00:19:18,300
Speaker 1: This is liberation, baby. You deserve this. Look at those

404
00:19:18,380 --> 00:19:21,199
Speaker 1: kids you've gotten back there. Hey, they're all dressed up.

405
00:19:21,220 --> 00:19:23,070
Speaker 1: They're all ready. They're ready to go. You've done a

406
00:19:23,090 --> 00:19:24,570
Speaker 1: great job, mom. It's 4.30, sis.

407
00:19:26,060 --> 00:19:28,960
Speaker 2: You get to crack open that wine or that bottle

408
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,620
Speaker 2: or whatever it is, and this is your reward for

409
00:19:31,660 --> 00:19:33,200
Speaker 2: making it through motherhood.

410
00:19:33,660 --> 00:19:35,930
Speaker 1: What is that? What is that?

411
00:19:36,369 --> 00:19:38,250
Speaker 2: What are we telling our children? What are we all

412
00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:40,250
Speaker 2: telling our children when we pick up those things? Have

413
00:19:40,270 --> 00:19:41,649
Speaker 2: you seen mom water?

414
00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:47,890
Speaker 1: Yes, I can't. Don't. I can't. Y'all, I went off.

415
00:19:48,070 --> 00:19:49,810
Speaker 1: I went off on my page a few months ago

416
00:19:49,850 --> 00:19:51,060
Speaker 1: about this. I had never seen it.

417
00:19:51,130 --> 00:19:54,560
Speaker 2: Obviously, it'll drink, so I'm not really into whatever is new,

418
00:19:54,619 --> 00:19:57,060
Speaker 2: but I saw it, and I was so horrified, and

419
00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:59,020
Speaker 2: I stood there. I was in Target, and I took

420
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:02,680
Speaker 2: it out, and I was like, what is this telling

421
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:06,100
Speaker 2: our children? What is this telling my daughter when I say,

422
00:20:06,690 --> 00:20:07,940
Speaker 2: I've had a long day.

423
00:20:08,180 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 1: I've had a long day. Mommy just needs her mommy juice.

424
00:20:10,700 --> 00:20:13,439
Speaker 2: I even saw sippy cups, little wine sippy cups with

425
00:20:13,460 --> 00:20:15,340
Speaker 2: the top on it so that you could put the

426
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,239
Speaker 2: toddler's straw in it.

427
00:20:17,460 --> 00:20:22,370
Speaker 1: It's grotesque. It's sick. And yeah, I'm mad. That should

428
00:20:22,410 --> 00:20:26,350
Speaker 1: never happen. These aren't funny. It's not cute. It's killing mothers.

429
00:20:26,430 --> 00:20:29,670
Speaker 1: It's taking families from each other. It's ripping families apart.

430
00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:31,150
Speaker 1: It's ripping apart our society.

431
00:20:31,450 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 2: That's what mommy wine culture is.

432
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,399
Speaker 1: This is stress relief.

433
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:40,340
Speaker 2: Coming from a substance instead of regulation, rest, boundaries, honesty, support.

434
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,500
Speaker 2: All of the things that we need to do as

435
00:20:42,580 --> 00:20:44,889
Speaker 2: moms to support each other and to support our babies,

436
00:20:44,930 --> 00:20:47,830
Speaker 2: this strips it all away. Take it all away. Let's

437
00:20:47,890 --> 00:20:50,710
Speaker 2: just numb it all down. Put the problem under the

438
00:20:50,770 --> 00:20:53,150
Speaker 2: rug and pretend like none of this is happening. Mom's

439
00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:55,490
Speaker 2: going to relax right now. Kids, you do your thing.

440
00:20:55,530 --> 00:20:57,710
Speaker 2: And like I said, what does that tell your child?

441
00:20:57,890 --> 00:21:00,080
Speaker 2: I need this to survive you.

442
00:21:00,580 --> 00:21:05,500
Speaker 3: Yes, 100%. I wrote an article for Grazia magazine over

443
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 3: here a few years ago. And of course, when they

444
00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:12,000
Speaker 3: went to put it on Instagram, they pulled like a headline,

445
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:15,030
Speaker 3: you know, something about like, It's like mommy wine culture

446
00:21:15,109 --> 00:21:18,130
Speaker 3: harming our kids or something. And nobody goes and reads

447
00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:20,780
Speaker 3: the actual article, right? They just read the headline. And

448
00:21:20,820 --> 00:21:23,420
Speaker 3: they came for me in the comments.

449
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:30,359
Speaker 1: Who is this woman? She probably doesn't have kids. This

450
00:21:30,380 --> 00:21:32,179
Speaker 1: makes me want to write something on it today and

451
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:36,100
Speaker 1: post it online. Just to start it. Yeah. You know

452
00:21:36,260 --> 00:21:37,820
Speaker 1: I will. I got really upset.

453
00:21:38,810 --> 00:21:40,609
Speaker 3: And then I had to step back and think if

454
00:21:40,790 --> 00:21:43,389
Speaker 3: I was in that place where I was stuck and

455
00:21:43,550 --> 00:21:46,080
Speaker 3: I didn't know there was another way. And I thought

456
00:21:46,140 --> 00:21:49,640
Speaker 3: wine was my only way and wine was my only identity.

457
00:21:49,660 --> 00:21:53,619
Speaker 3: And I saw this headline. I would be pissed at

458
00:21:53,660 --> 00:21:56,359
Speaker 3: me too, right? Because I thought it was the only

459
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,230
Speaker 3: thing that was my reward. It was the thing that

460
00:21:59,270 --> 00:22:01,310
Speaker 3: I got to finally, you know, do at the end

461
00:22:01,350 --> 00:22:03,170
Speaker 3: of the day or on a night out or whatever.

462
00:22:03,230 --> 00:22:04,310
Speaker 1: It was the thing.

463
00:22:04,330 --> 00:22:08,330
Speaker 3: And it wasn't until I realized that I was so wrong.

464
00:22:09,430 --> 00:22:12,869
Speaker 3: that I realized how dangerous this was. We'll be back

465
00:22:13,150 --> 00:22:15,619
Speaker 3: right after a quick word from our sponsors. I'm just

466
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 3: going to pause this for one second to remind you

467
00:22:19,260 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 3: that the October Love Life Sober 40-Day Fast is right

468
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:26,649
Speaker 3: around the corner. We officially kick off on October 5th.

469
00:22:27,130 --> 00:22:29,490
Speaker 3: And if you've been listening to this podcast for a while...

470
00:22:29,650 --> 00:22:32,300
Speaker 3: or reading your copy of Love Life Sober and watching

471
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,720
Speaker 3: from the sidelines and thinking, I know I need to

472
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,980
Speaker 3: do something, but I have no idea where to start.

473
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:41,710
Speaker 3: That is exactly why I created this coached 40-day fast.

474
00:22:42,430 --> 00:22:44,970
Speaker 3: I'm not asking you to decide on forever. I'm just

475
00:22:45,109 --> 00:22:48,540
Speaker 3: asking you to give yourself 40 days. 40 days to

476
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:51,600
Speaker 3: get really curious about the role alcohol is playing in

477
00:22:51,619 --> 00:22:54,640
Speaker 3: your life. 40 days to experience what it feels like

478
00:22:54,660 --> 00:22:57,490
Speaker 3: to wake up without regret or anxiety about the night before.

479
00:22:57,490 --> 00:23:01,170
Speaker 3: 40 days to notice your sleep, your energy, your relationships,

480
00:23:01,190 --> 00:23:04,210
Speaker 3: your thoughts, and maybe even your relationship with God when

481
00:23:04,310 --> 00:23:07,919
Speaker 3: alcohol is no longer taking up so much space. And

482
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,000
Speaker 3: you are absolutely not doing this alone. We'll be walking

483
00:23:11,060 --> 00:23:14,070
Speaker 3: together through my bestselling book, Love Life Sober, day by day,

484
00:23:14,210 --> 00:23:17,610
Speaker 3: and you'll have access to four live coaching calls every

485
00:23:17,670 --> 00:23:21,669
Speaker 3: single week with me and my incredible team of coaches, Reena, Maureen,

486
00:23:21,770 --> 00:23:24,770
Speaker 3: and Susan. And if you can't make those coaching calls live,

487
00:23:24,790 --> 00:23:26,790
Speaker 3: we're going to record them for you and pop them

488
00:23:26,950 --> 00:23:30,619
Speaker 3: in your private community space. You'll have access to that

489
00:23:30,650 --> 00:23:34,460
Speaker 3: completely private space inside the Love Life Sober community filled

490
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:38,040
Speaker 3: with other women, doing these 40 days right alongside you.

491
00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:41,780
Speaker 3: Women who get it, women you can be completely honest with,

492
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 3: women who are going to celebrate the wins with you

493
00:23:44,140 --> 00:23:46,880
Speaker 3: and remind you why you started on the harder days.

494
00:23:47,500 --> 00:23:50,750
Speaker 3: And the community piece of this is so important because

495
00:23:50,850 --> 00:23:52,890
Speaker 3: so many of us have tried to do this quietly

496
00:23:52,950 --> 00:23:55,490
Speaker 3: and by ourselves. You don't have to do that anymore.

497
00:23:55,490 --> 00:23:58,830
Speaker 3: 40 days is long enough to experience real change, but

498
00:23:58,950 --> 00:24:01,409
Speaker 3: short enough to feel possible. If there is even a

499
00:24:01,450 --> 00:24:04,230
Speaker 3: tiny voice inside you saying, maybe this is my time,

500
00:24:04,980 --> 00:24:07,160
Speaker 3: maybe you should listen to her. The Love Life Sober

501
00:24:07,180 --> 00:24:12,000
Speaker 3: 40-Day Alcohol Fast begins October 5th. And I would absolutely

502
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:14,380
Speaker 3: love to meet you and walk these 40 days with you.

503
00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:16,419
Speaker 3: Head to the link in the show notes to get

504
00:24:16,540 --> 00:24:18,590
Speaker 3: all the details. I cannot wait to see what God

505
00:24:18,619 --> 00:24:20,810
Speaker 3: is going to do in these 40 days. Okay, let's

506
00:24:20,830 --> 00:24:24,610
Speaker 3: get back to today's conversation. And so I guess for

507
00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:27,969
Speaker 3: the woman who obviously is listening and is interested in

508
00:24:28,150 --> 00:24:32,090
Speaker 3: a alcohol-free lifestyle, but maybe for the one who is

509
00:24:32,330 --> 00:24:35,939
Speaker 3: newer to this, How do we encourage that mom of

510
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:40,020
Speaker 3: a bunch of littles that there are other ways to

511
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 3: take part in self-care, to rest, to find connection, all

512
00:24:44,060 --> 00:24:44,580
Speaker 3: of the things?

513
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,150
Speaker 1: Education. Bar none.

514
00:24:47,690 --> 00:24:51,090
Speaker 2: The answer is education. It's listening to things like podcasts,

515
00:24:51,130 --> 00:24:55,970
Speaker 2: getting online and reading, finding books, making yourself aware of

516
00:24:56,460 --> 00:24:58,899
Speaker 2: what can happen and how quickly it can happen. Because

517
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:01,919
Speaker 2: especially women like you and me, we were just normal

518
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 2: women living our lives, mothering and parenting. I didn't have

519
00:25:05,260 --> 00:25:08,550
Speaker 2: any frame of reference for addiction. Like I said, I

520
00:25:08,590 --> 00:25:11,790
Speaker 2: didn't think I knew any alcoholics. I didn't have alcoholic

521
00:25:11,850 --> 00:25:16,740
Speaker 2: parents or siblings. I didn't even really know what it was.

522
00:25:16,820 --> 00:25:18,880
Speaker 2: And I certainly didn't think I was an alcoholic. Gosh,

523
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,010
Speaker 2: even after I'd been drinking abusively and knew that I

524
00:25:22,050 --> 00:25:24,229
Speaker 2: was drinking abusively, I still didn't think that I was

525
00:25:24,250 --> 00:25:27,390
Speaker 2: an alcoholic. And when I have the women that come

526
00:25:27,470 --> 00:25:30,470
Speaker 2: in to my DMs or emails or anyone that I

527
00:25:30,530 --> 00:25:34,149
Speaker 2: see that has a question on how do I start? Honestly,

528
00:25:34,170 --> 00:25:36,909
Speaker 2: the first thing has to be honesty with yourself. It's

529
00:25:36,970 --> 00:25:39,780
Speaker 2: got to be that check. And you have to displace

530
00:25:39,820 --> 00:25:42,550
Speaker 2: that fear. That fear has no place Because right now,

531
00:25:42,609 --> 00:25:45,540
Speaker 2: you know, in the very beginning, you're so scared. Is

532
00:25:45,580 --> 00:25:47,100
Speaker 2: this going to take me over? Am I going to

533
00:25:47,130 --> 00:25:49,780
Speaker 2: lose everything like Kat? I've had women DM me and say,

534
00:25:50,180 --> 00:25:52,980
Speaker 2: I got a handle on myself. I went to rehab

535
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:55,820
Speaker 2: because I read this story of yours and I saw

536
00:25:55,859 --> 00:25:56,680
Speaker 2: the writing on the wall.

537
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 1: I know that's going to happen to me. You know,

538
00:25:59,060 --> 00:26:00,920
Speaker 1: I was married.

539
00:26:00,940 --> 00:26:05,160
Speaker 2: I'm remarried now to my wonderful husband, Matt, of 13

540
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:08,139
Speaker 2: years now. But, you know, I was married to my

541
00:26:08,180 --> 00:26:12,330
Speaker 2: first husband and thought, This can't happen because I'm supported.

542
00:26:12,350 --> 00:26:15,090
Speaker 1: I have a working husband. I'm a stay-at-home mom.

543
00:26:15,750 --> 00:26:17,729
Speaker 2: Just because I'm doing this, it doesn't mean that it's

544
00:26:17,750 --> 00:26:20,010
Speaker 2: going to continue and end up down that path.

545
00:26:20,050 --> 00:26:20,670
Speaker 1: And it really did.

546
00:26:20,710 --> 00:26:23,969
Speaker 2: And so I think the honesty with yourself is the

547
00:26:24,010 --> 00:26:28,020
Speaker 2: very first thing. And having at least one trusted person.

548
00:26:28,390 --> 00:26:31,220
Speaker 2: Maybe this woman or mom doesn't feel safe to tell

549
00:26:31,260 --> 00:26:33,739
Speaker 2: her husband because she feels like if I tell him that,

550
00:26:33,780 --> 00:26:34,980
Speaker 2: he's going to think I'm defective.

551
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,340
Speaker 1: I thought that. I was pretty.

552
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,220
Speaker 2: sure that if I told my husband exactly how I

553
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:42,940
Speaker 2: was feeling really early on, I was going to get judged,

554
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,020
Speaker 2: maybe shamed. Maybe he wouldn't think I was cute anymore.

555
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 2: Maybe he wouldn't want to go out with me anymore.

556
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,639
Speaker 2: Maybe if I didn't drink anymore, he wouldn't want to

557
00:26:50,660 --> 00:26:53,179
Speaker 2: take me out anymore. Our entire relationship, you know, we

558
00:26:53,220 --> 00:26:55,160
Speaker 2: met when we were kids in college.

559
00:26:55,220 --> 00:26:57,619
Speaker 1: And so we were drinking and partying and kicking it.

560
00:26:57,660 --> 00:27:00,890
Speaker 2: And now that we're adults and he's able to control

561
00:27:00,970 --> 00:27:03,250
Speaker 2: his life as an adult in a healthy way, and

562
00:27:03,310 --> 00:27:06,350
Speaker 2: I'm having more difficult time managing that, How do I

563
00:27:06,410 --> 00:27:08,410
Speaker 2: even say that to him? Because I'm not the same

564
00:27:08,470 --> 00:27:10,680
Speaker 2: girl that I was when he married me the nine

565
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 2: years prior. You know, I had sort of morphed into

566
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:20,710
Speaker 2: this sad, almost dark, unrecognizable person.

567
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:24,440
Speaker 1: Existing human. And what do you do with that?

568
00:27:24,460 --> 00:27:27,360
Speaker 2: And I did not have the courage to say, this

569
00:27:27,420 --> 00:27:28,480
Speaker 2: is what's happening to me.

570
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:29,740
Speaker 1: And I think I need some help.

571
00:27:29,820 --> 00:27:32,010
Speaker 2: It took me a long time, a lot of failures,

572
00:27:32,670 --> 00:27:34,930
Speaker 2: a lot of really terrible nights, nights that I didn't

573
00:27:34,950 --> 00:27:37,270
Speaker 2: know that I'd make it through to see the next

574
00:27:37,350 --> 00:27:40,310
Speaker 2: morning simply because I didn't want to. I didn't think

575
00:27:40,330 --> 00:27:43,530
Speaker 2: that I was worth anything anymore. I thought, You're a drunk,

576
00:27:43,630 --> 00:27:46,110
Speaker 2: alcoholic mother. That's all you're ever going to be. That's

577
00:27:46,150 --> 00:27:47,909
Speaker 2: all you're ever going to be. Look where you landed.

578
00:27:48,210 --> 00:27:48,690
Speaker 1: Good for you.

579
00:27:48,710 --> 00:27:51,690
Speaker 2: I had this pity party for months and it's what

580
00:27:51,710 --> 00:27:53,980
Speaker 2: kept me drunk. And it's what kept me relapsing was

581
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:56,940
Speaker 2: for me. I can't believe this happened to me. And

582
00:27:57,420 --> 00:27:59,500
Speaker 2: I needed to pick up my chin and realize this

583
00:27:59,540 --> 00:28:02,940
Speaker 2: didn't happen to me. Like you said, it was happening

584
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 2: for me. And I've been very vocal about this throughout

585
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:11,090
Speaker 2: my sharing of my recovery process.

586
00:28:10,630 --> 00:28:12,940
Speaker 1: That If I hadn't had.

587
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 2: A super strong faith, I don't think I would have

588
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:18,440
Speaker 2: survived it truly. I think it would have taken my life.

589
00:28:18,500 --> 00:28:21,490
Speaker 2: But I knew that I wasn't put here by accident.

590
00:28:21,609 --> 00:28:23,969
Speaker 2: I knew that God didn't make me like this by accident.

591
00:28:24,590 --> 00:28:25,330
Speaker 1: And I knew that.

592
00:28:25,230 --> 00:28:28,390
Speaker 2: Whatever I was struggling with was going to be helpful

593
00:28:28,450 --> 00:28:31,490
Speaker 2: to someone someday somewhere, whether it was my own children

594
00:28:31,530 --> 00:28:35,100
Speaker 2: through my mistakes or through what I did end up doing,

595
00:28:35,130 --> 00:28:37,540
Speaker 2: which was, you know, trying to speak openly about it

596
00:28:37,580 --> 00:28:40,900
Speaker 2: so that other mothers wouldn't be so scared or wouldn't

597
00:28:40,940 --> 00:28:42,140
Speaker 2: think that they were the only one.

598
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that so much, babe. Can you say

599
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:49,150
Speaker 3: a little bit more about how your faith helped carry

600
00:28:49,190 --> 00:28:49,550
Speaker 3: you through?

601
00:28:49,570 --> 00:28:49,710
Speaker 2: Oh, gosh.

602
00:28:51,300 --> 00:28:52,900
Speaker 1: I'm happy to. And this is one that I don't

603
00:28:52,940 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 1: get to talk a lot about.

604
00:28:54,780 --> 00:28:56,900
Speaker 2: Christy, that's one of the reasons I was so excited

605
00:28:56,940 --> 00:28:58,380
Speaker 2: to be invited on your podcast.

606
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,180
Speaker 1: Because there's not a lot of us talking about this

607
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:01,860
Speaker 1: piece of it.

608
00:29:02,180 --> 00:29:04,900
Speaker 2: Because I think that sometimes, you know, I just actually

609
00:29:04,940 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 2: read an article about this on the Christian woman and alcoholism.

610
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:10,800
Speaker 1: And so we grew up in the Episcopal Church and

611
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:11,980
Speaker 1: our children have too.

612
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:15,020
Speaker 2: And I always felt, you know, the Episcopal Church is

613
00:29:15,060 --> 00:29:17,030
Speaker 2: a little bit buttoned up, not quite as buttoned up

614
00:29:17,090 --> 00:29:20,750
Speaker 2: as Catholic. We call ourselves JV Catholic, but We're just

615
00:29:20,790 --> 00:29:22,650
Speaker 2: a little bit buttoned up. And so it felt like

616
00:29:23,150 --> 00:29:25,730
Speaker 2: when I was online, I wasn't able to share quite

617
00:29:25,780 --> 00:29:28,540
Speaker 2: as much about my faith. But as a Christian woman,

618
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:31,440
Speaker 2: it was difficult for me to reconcile some of the

619
00:29:31,500 --> 00:29:35,110
Speaker 2: things that I was writing that also were correlating with

620
00:29:35,140 --> 00:29:35,590
Speaker 2: my faith.

621
00:29:35,630 --> 00:29:37,750
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, what I realized

622
00:29:37,870 --> 00:29:42,370
Speaker 1: is I'm abused. made child of God. All of us

623
00:29:42,450 --> 00:29:44,150
Speaker 1: are beautifully made children of God.

624
00:29:44,310 --> 00:29:46,990
Speaker 2: And the reason I'm able to speak and reach the

625
00:29:47,110 --> 00:29:49,130
Speaker 2: audience that I'm able to reach is because I'm doing

626
00:29:49,170 --> 00:29:49,870
Speaker 2: it authentically.

627
00:29:49,890 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 1: And that's all Jesus wants for me.

628
00:29:51,730 --> 00:29:54,020
Speaker 2: That's all he wants for all of us is to

629
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,780
Speaker 2: show he's the way, he's how we're going to get

630
00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:57,280
Speaker 2: through this.

631
00:29:57,460 --> 00:29:58,500
Speaker 1: I had a dream, Christy.

632
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:01,820
Speaker 2: It was one of my last nights of drinking and

633
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 2: I'd been praying for, oh gosh, a year and please

634
00:30:05,530 --> 00:30:07,620
Speaker 2: get me sober. God, you have to help me through this.

635
00:30:07,660 --> 00:30:09,790
Speaker 2: And more than that, then I started praying for my children. God,

636
00:30:09,810 --> 00:30:12,350
Speaker 2: you've got to help them. Jesus, you have to help

637
00:30:12,410 --> 00:30:13,830
Speaker 2: us get through this. I don't know how I'm going

638
00:30:13,850 --> 00:30:17,410
Speaker 2: to survive this. And it was not, I had two

639
00:30:17,470 --> 00:30:19,810
Speaker 2: rock bottoms. I don't care for that term. I think

640
00:30:19,830 --> 00:30:21,250
Speaker 2: there can be lots of things like that. But I

641
00:30:21,530 --> 00:30:23,610
Speaker 2: had two very, very bottoms. And this was one of them.

642
00:30:24,710 --> 00:30:27,690
Speaker 2: It was, I'd say, most definitely the worst night of

643
00:30:27,730 --> 00:30:29,410
Speaker 2: my life. I've written about it in the book. It

644
00:30:29,430 --> 00:30:33,690
Speaker 2: was an extremely traumatic situation. And I had drunk a

645
00:30:34,470 --> 00:30:37,750
Speaker 2: a jar, a Mason jar of moonshine. And anyone that

646
00:30:37,790 --> 00:30:42,690
Speaker 2: doesn't know what moonshine is, it's, it's homemade, uh, basically

647
00:30:42,710 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 2: grain alcoholic whiskey. White lightning is what we called it.

648
00:30:45,410 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 2: My grandpa was from Louisiana. We called it white lightning. Um,

649
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:52,100
Speaker 2: and it had been either like someone had dropped it

650
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,580
Speaker 2: in there or somehow I'd come in contact with, um,

651
00:30:55,700 --> 00:30:59,700
Speaker 2: the date rate drug, the roof, the roof and all job. Um,

652
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:03,020
Speaker 2: so I drank a lot of the bottle and that, uh,

653
00:31:03,140 --> 00:31:06,820
Speaker 2: that did, occur. I could move, I couldn't move, but

654
00:31:06,860 --> 00:31:10,020
Speaker 2: I could hear and I could see and I could think.

655
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,060
Speaker 2: And so everything that was happening to me, I was

656
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:17,010
Speaker 2: well aware of, I just wasn't able to fight. And

657
00:31:17,310 --> 00:31:21,430
Speaker 2: as this horrible traumatic experience was happening to me, something

658
00:31:21,450 --> 00:31:23,210
Speaker 2: that I swore if this ever happened to me, I

659
00:31:23,230 --> 00:31:24,830
Speaker 2: would never, I wouldn't.

660
00:31:24,650 --> 00:31:25,070
Speaker 3: Want to live.

661
00:31:25,390 --> 00:31:25,950
Speaker 1: It was over.

662
00:31:25,970 --> 00:31:31,510
Speaker 2: And my attacker left and I fall asleep.

663
00:31:32,050 --> 00:31:34,830
Speaker 1: And I was like halfway in dream maybe and halfway awake,

664
00:31:35,550 --> 00:31:37,010
Speaker 1: but I wasn't conscious. Do you know what I mean?

665
00:31:37,050 --> 00:31:38,570
Speaker 2: Like you were kind of in a, I was kind

666
00:31:38,590 --> 00:31:41,130
Speaker 2: of in a dream state, very drunk, also drugged and

667
00:31:41,590 --> 00:31:44,390
Speaker 2: just not quite right. And I had a dream and

668
00:31:44,430 --> 00:31:47,550
Speaker 2: I saw three lights, stick lights almost, you know, just

669
00:31:47,590 --> 00:31:48,520
Speaker 2: three glowing.

670
00:31:49,260 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 1: And they spoke to me.

671
00:31:50,940 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 2: They didn't use human words or any words at all,

672
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 2: but I understood what they were saying. And they told

673
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:57,420
Speaker 2: me this is the worst it's ever going to be.

674
00:31:58,690 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 2: And I was asking them, please just take me to heaven.

675
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 1: Can I, you gotta take me to heaven, please. My

676
00:32:03,140 --> 00:32:04,100
Speaker 1: children will be better off.

677
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,100
Speaker 2: And I was like, in this dream, I was like

678
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 2: consciously thinking about my children being better off if I

679
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:10,930
Speaker 2: were in heaven, because then they would know that I

680
00:32:10,970 --> 00:32:14,050
Speaker 2: was in heaven and then a healthy, stronger individual could

681
00:32:14,090 --> 00:32:16,590
Speaker 2: come in and take my mother place and mother them

682
00:32:16,630 --> 00:32:18,650
Speaker 2: in the way that I wanted to, but I couldn't.

683
00:32:19,430 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 1: And so I was asking these lights to please take

684
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:24,400
Speaker 1: me to heaven.

685
00:32:24,460 --> 00:32:27,850
Speaker 2: And they said, well, we will, but this day right

686
00:32:27,890 --> 00:32:30,130
Speaker 2: now today is the very worst it's ever going to be.

687
00:32:30,190 --> 00:32:32,370
Speaker 2: And if you wake up, if you get up, it's

688
00:32:32,410 --> 00:32:36,250
Speaker 2: going to be really, really hard. But, and they didn't

689
00:32:36,290 --> 00:32:38,230
Speaker 2: say this, but I had this overwhelming sense that if

690
00:32:38,310 --> 00:32:41,390
Speaker 2: I got up and I was able to move forward,

691
00:32:41,510 --> 00:32:46,620
Speaker 2: it would be the most wonderful, beautiful, glorious existence that

692
00:32:46,630 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 2: I had never seen so far that I could imagine.

693
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:52,660
Speaker 1: And I chose to wake up.

694
00:32:52,740 --> 00:32:56,860
Speaker 2: I remember in the dream, like, thinking, okay, I'm going

695
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 2: to wake up and knowing death isn't what I want.

696
00:33:00,060 --> 00:33:01,720
Speaker 2: I just thought they would be better if I weren't

697
00:33:01,780 --> 00:33:04,480
Speaker 2: here because I was so bad and so nasty and

698
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 2: so defective. And I woke up and I called my

699
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:10,990
Speaker 2: dad and I told him what happened. I met him

700
00:33:11,030 --> 00:33:14,150
Speaker 2: at the hospital in Richmond, Virginia, and I pulled up

701
00:33:14,230 --> 00:33:16,250
Speaker 2: and he met me there and I got out of

702
00:33:16,270 --> 00:33:20,410
Speaker 2: the car and I looked terrible. I'd been drinking for weeks.

703
00:33:20,430 --> 00:33:22,570
Speaker 2: I can't tell you the last day that I hadn't

704
00:33:22,590 --> 00:33:25,170
Speaker 2: had a drink in that point. My soon to be

705
00:33:25,190 --> 00:33:27,780
Speaker 2: then ex-husband and taken my children, moved to a rental house.

706
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:30,540
Speaker 2: Our house was on the market. I was nowhere stable.

707
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 2: Nothing was going right. And I checked into the public hospital,

708
00:33:35,660 --> 00:33:39,380
Speaker 2: did three days of detox. I had everything, DTs. I mean,

709
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:44,110
Speaker 2: just terrible hallucinations, tremors. It was just really bad. And

710
00:33:44,670 --> 00:33:50,510
Speaker 2: then after that, I got into a wonderful rehab in Williamsburg, Virginia.

711
00:33:50,550 --> 00:33:53,590
Speaker 2: It was called the Farley Center. I did 90 days there.

712
00:33:54,490 --> 00:33:57,170
Speaker 2: And my life started to get better. It was really

713
00:33:57,210 --> 00:34:00,390
Speaker 2: hard at first because I had to deal with all

714
00:34:00,410 --> 00:34:02,590
Speaker 2: of the things that I had done or not done

715
00:34:02,650 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 2: while I was drinking. I mean, I was in legal trouble.

716
00:34:05,690 --> 00:34:08,140
Speaker 2: I was in trouble with my parents. I was in

717
00:34:08,180 --> 00:34:11,320
Speaker 2: trouble with my ex-husband. I didn't have any friends anymore.

718
00:34:11,420 --> 00:34:13,240
Speaker 2: I didn't want my friends to see who I was,

719
00:34:13,300 --> 00:34:15,020
Speaker 2: who I'd become. I had cut all of them off

720
00:34:15,219 --> 00:34:17,940
Speaker 2: months before. I wasn't even calling my best friend that

721
00:34:17,980 --> 00:34:19,180
Speaker 2: I spoke to every day.

722
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 1: Of my life.

723
00:34:20,540 --> 00:34:22,779
Speaker 2: I hadn't spoken to her in months. Nobody knew where

724
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:25,310
Speaker 2: I was. And so I had to start thinking about

725
00:34:25,350 --> 00:34:27,469
Speaker 2: all of those things. And that was something that made

726
00:34:27,489 --> 00:34:29,290
Speaker 2: me want to drink again. And thank God I couldn't.

727
00:34:29,330 --> 00:34:31,509
Speaker 2: I was in rehab with other people who were going

728
00:34:31,550 --> 00:34:34,759
Speaker 2: through the same thing. And I had that safety net

729
00:34:34,780 --> 00:34:38,440
Speaker 2: around me to keep me from falling back into those patterns.

730
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:41,220
Speaker 2: But the pain in the beginning was what was going

731
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:45,310
Speaker 2: to get me to drink again. And so having the

732
00:34:45,350 --> 00:34:49,290
Speaker 2: sober supports around me in rehab and having that huge

733
00:34:49,390 --> 00:34:52,330
Speaker 2: faith in God, knowing that he promised me, he did,

734
00:34:52,350 --> 00:34:55,710
Speaker 2: he absolutely did, in that dream that everything would be better.

735
00:34:55,790 --> 00:34:56,569
Speaker 1: And I trusted him.

736
00:34:56,590 --> 00:34:59,190
Speaker 2: And it was a totally blind faith, one I've been

737
00:34:59,210 --> 00:35:01,930
Speaker 2: taught to have since I was a child, one that

738
00:35:01,950 --> 00:35:07,180
Speaker 2: I celebrate openly. And I knew that if I just

739
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:10,220
Speaker 2: kept going just one more day, just one more day,

740
00:35:11,070 --> 00:35:12,070
Speaker 2: that I would get there.

741
00:35:12,610 --> 00:35:14,390
Speaker 1: And that was the promise that I had from God.

742
00:35:14,410 --> 00:35:17,360
Speaker 1: I trusted him. I believed him and look what he

743
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:20,280
Speaker 1: did for me. Look what he did. He saved my children.

744
00:35:20,300 --> 00:35:24,420
Speaker 2: I've been married for going on 13 years, most wonderful

745
00:35:24,460 --> 00:35:26,580
Speaker 2: man in the world. We have two more sons together.

746
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:30,370
Speaker 2: All five of my children are together and happy. Of course,

747
00:35:30,410 --> 00:35:32,590
Speaker 2: I have a daughter in college and our son is

748
00:35:32,630 --> 00:35:34,710
Speaker 2: getting ready to leave for college this fall, one in

749
00:35:34,750 --> 00:35:38,049
Speaker 2: high school, one in middle school and one in diapers. And, um,

750
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:43,180
Speaker 2: And everything, this whole miracle, how could this have happened

751
00:35:43,219 --> 00:35:46,810
Speaker 2: if not for our faith in the Lord and for.

752
00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:47,669
Speaker 1: The faith that I had?

753
00:35:47,710 --> 00:35:50,710
Speaker 2: And whatever your belief is, whether you're a Christian or

754
00:35:50,730 --> 00:35:54,890
Speaker 2: a Muslim or whoever, whatever, your faith in something, who

755
00:35:55,030 --> 00:35:57,950
Speaker 2: is that to you that's going to help get you there?

756
00:35:57,989 --> 00:36:02,509
Speaker 2: For me, it was God. And I've known him my

757
00:36:02,570 --> 00:36:04,650
Speaker 2: whole life. So it wasn't like I was asking a

758
00:36:04,690 --> 00:36:07,640
Speaker 2: stranger for help. And gosh, Say you haven't known him

759
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:09,969
Speaker 2: your whole life. Say you're just trying to dive into this.

760
00:36:10,150 --> 00:36:14,150
Speaker 1: So what? He's so psyched you're there. Come on in.

761
00:36:14,489 --> 00:36:18,090
Speaker 1: Let's all get together. Oh my gosh. He celebrates the

762
00:36:18,150 --> 00:36:20,830
Speaker 1: fact that you're coming in. You're on the bottom. Let's

763
00:36:20,910 --> 00:36:23,950
Speaker 1: get to the top. Let's start making those baby steps together.

764
00:36:24,030 --> 00:36:27,730
Speaker 1: It's excruciating. Who said this was easy? Listen, I have

765
00:36:27,750 --> 00:36:28,590
Speaker 1: people that come into.

766
00:36:28,469 --> 00:36:31,930
Speaker 2: My DMs and they're like, I tried. I just don't

767
00:36:31,969 --> 00:36:33,570
Speaker 2: think I can do this. I think I'm going to

768
00:36:33,610 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 2: try another this way, this way, this way.

769
00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:38,070
Speaker 1: I say a lot. Baby step your way into it,

770
00:36:38,100 --> 00:36:39,140
Speaker 1: however you need to go.

771
00:36:39,980 --> 00:36:42,180
Speaker 2: But when you've gotten to those baby steps and we're

772
00:36:42,219 --> 00:36:45,670
Speaker 2: still talking about the same thing two, three, four months later,

773
00:36:45,690 --> 00:36:49,370
Speaker 2: that's not baby stepping. That's just delaying. That's just putting

774
00:36:49,390 --> 00:36:51,890
Speaker 2: this off. And it's going to keep getting worse. And

775
00:36:51,930 --> 00:36:56,980
Speaker 2: so while I try to support people gently, that'll go

776
00:36:57,100 --> 00:37:00,259
Speaker 2: pretty quickly. I mean, you have to have guts. to

777
00:37:00,300 --> 00:37:02,850
Speaker 2: get this thing going. And it's going to be the

778
00:37:02,890 --> 00:37:04,750
Speaker 2: fight of your life for some of us. And it's

779
00:37:04,810 --> 00:37:07,290
Speaker 2: so worth it. Oh my gosh, look at who's.

780
00:37:07,150 --> 00:37:07,850
Speaker 1: Coming behind you.

781
00:37:07,870 --> 00:37:09,770
Speaker 2: And look at all the women that are behind you

782
00:37:09,790 --> 00:37:12,730
Speaker 2: that don't even know yet, that haven't started their journey yet.

783
00:37:12,750 --> 00:37:14,930
Speaker 2: And they're just starting to listen to podcasts or they're

784
00:37:14,950 --> 00:37:17,640
Speaker 2: just starting to get online and find that there are

785
00:37:17,700 --> 00:37:21,100
Speaker 2: other women like them. I mean, my gosh, even if

786
00:37:21,140 --> 00:37:23,339
Speaker 2: you don't feel like you're helping anyone, you really are.

787
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:25,700
Speaker 2: I mean, we've all got something to offer somebody else.

788
00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 2: We just have to really take a second and realize

789
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:29,610
Speaker 2: that we're all worth it.

790
00:37:30,100 --> 00:37:33,420
Speaker 3: Oh, that's so good, Kat. That's so, so good. Can

791
00:37:33,460 --> 00:37:36,580
Speaker 3: you tell us about the book? And what is your

792
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:39,299
Speaker 3: hope for the woman that reads it? And when is

793
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:42,230
Speaker 3: it available? And I will put all of the information

794
00:37:42,270 --> 00:37:42,850
Speaker 3: in the show notes.

795
00:37:42,890 --> 00:37:43,790
Speaker 1: But tell us about the book.

796
00:37:43,930 --> 00:37:44,969
Speaker 3: I'm so excited for you.

797
00:37:45,070 --> 00:37:47,710
Speaker 1: Thank you. Thank you so much. So yeah, so I

798
00:37:47,750 --> 00:37:48,450
Speaker 1: wrote this book.

799
00:37:48,890 --> 00:37:52,270
Speaker 2: Basically, everything that you see of Vine Online is sort

800
00:37:52,370 --> 00:37:55,200
Speaker 2: of a prelude to what you're going to get in

801
00:37:55,219 --> 00:37:58,400
Speaker 2: the book. You get these mini stories of Vine Online.

802
00:37:58,700 --> 00:38:02,660
Speaker 2: And And the book basically goes from the very beginning

803
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:07,060
Speaker 2: to now. And it talks about everything in between from

804
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:10,870
Speaker 2: the very beginning of my problem drinking to where I

805
00:38:10,969 --> 00:38:14,170
Speaker 2: am today. It shows every step along the way. And,

806
00:38:14,390 --> 00:38:16,589
Speaker 2: you know, I started writing this book. I lost my

807
00:38:16,630 --> 00:38:19,899
Speaker 2: dad seven years ago on January 27th to a sudden

808
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:20,440
Speaker 2: heart attack.

809
00:38:20,500 --> 00:38:23,049
Speaker 1: He was my biggest problem. supporter in sobriety.

810
00:38:23,350 --> 00:38:27,529
Speaker 2: He never doubted me. When I didn't have anybody else

811
00:38:27,590 --> 00:38:30,590
Speaker 2: to turn to, I could turn to him and he

812
00:38:30,630 --> 00:38:31,690
Speaker 2: made me feel.

813
00:38:31,530 --> 00:38:32,450
Speaker 1: Human, you know?

814
00:38:32,469 --> 00:38:36,510
Speaker 2: And so when he died, he had said to me,

815
00:38:36,530 --> 00:38:39,100
Speaker 2: it was my first day in rehab. He had dropped

816
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:42,280
Speaker 2: me off and he called me and he said, you know, Catherine,

817
00:38:42,700 --> 00:38:44,360
Speaker 2: you really need to write about this someday.

818
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:46,279
Speaker 1: You've got to write something. You've got to write a

819
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:48,859
Speaker 1: book or you've got to write this down somehow. I just.

820
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:51,839
Speaker 2: someone is going to read this. And I thought, gosh, daddy,

821
00:38:51,860 --> 00:38:53,669
Speaker 2: I don't know how I would ever do anything like that.

822
00:38:53,730 --> 00:38:56,110
Speaker 2: Of course, back then there was no Instagram and Facebook

823
00:38:56,130 --> 00:38:58,190
Speaker 2: was new, but you surely weren't going to put anything

824
00:38:58,230 --> 00:39:00,310
Speaker 2: real on Facebook. There was no way I was going

825
00:39:00,330 --> 00:39:03,310
Speaker 2: to get on Facebook and like start writing about my alcoholism.

826
00:39:03,710 --> 00:39:05,860
Speaker 1: So I was like, oh, daddy, you're such a dad.

827
00:39:05,890 --> 00:39:08,140
Speaker 1: You think I could be this great writer. I, God

828
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:08,540
Speaker 1: bless you.

829
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:11,549
Speaker 2: You know, And then when he died, it was the

830
00:39:11,610 --> 00:39:14,049
Speaker 2: next month that I was like, oh, gosh, I got

831
00:39:14,070 --> 00:39:15,820
Speaker 2: to write this book. And so I started writing. It

832
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 2: went through three or four different rewrites. I think I've

833
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:21,000
Speaker 2: had four different versions of this book. But I wrote

834
00:39:21,020 --> 00:39:22,819
Speaker 2: it for the mom that was just like you, just

835
00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:27,590
Speaker 2: like me, sitting at home, crying into her Chardonnay, wondering

836
00:39:27,730 --> 00:39:29,969
Speaker 2: if she's an alcoholic or if she's not.

837
00:39:30,410 --> 00:39:32,959
Speaker 1: And why she's feeling like this. And where is all the.

838
00:39:33,300 --> 00:39:38,020
Speaker 2: Anxiety and depression and worry and shame and the reactive behavior?

839
00:39:38,100 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 2: Where is all that coming from? And then you start

840
00:39:40,100 --> 00:39:42,700
Speaker 2: to realize, shoot, maybe this is inside. And so I

841
00:39:43,270 --> 00:39:47,569
Speaker 2: wrote this book for every mom, really. And I don't

842
00:39:47,610 --> 00:39:49,630
Speaker 2: mean to leave the dads out, but for every mom,

843
00:39:50,390 --> 00:39:53,150
Speaker 2: that feels like she's alone. I didn't want anybody to

844
00:39:53,190 --> 00:39:56,080
Speaker 2: feel like they were defective or weird or a freak

845
00:39:56,219 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 2: because they couldn't get a handle on this. And that's

846
00:39:58,620 --> 00:40:00,520
Speaker 2: what I thought. I thought I was a freak, a

847
00:40:00,580 --> 00:40:05,100
Speaker 2: total freak. How could anybody possibly love me or want

848
00:40:05,140 --> 00:40:07,400
Speaker 2: to be my friend or want to do anything with

849
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:09,420
Speaker 2: me or take advice from me or even want me

850
00:40:09,460 --> 00:40:12,210
Speaker 2: to parent my children because I can't even get a

851
00:40:12,230 --> 00:40:15,050
Speaker 2: handle on my own life. And so I just wanted

852
00:40:15,090 --> 00:40:18,529
Speaker 2: to show people where I started and where I ended

853
00:40:18,650 --> 00:40:20,910
Speaker 2: up because if I could get here. And so I

854
00:40:20,930 --> 00:40:23,250
Speaker 2: think that was part of the reason I tried to

855
00:40:23,290 --> 00:40:25,500
Speaker 2: write this because I was trying to bargain my way

856
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 2: out of this. I'll only drink wine. I'll only drink vodka.

857
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,420
Speaker 2: I can't drink dark liquor. I can only drink on.

858
00:40:30,380 --> 00:40:31,850
Speaker 1: Saturdays and things like that.

859
00:40:31,890 --> 00:40:33,750
Speaker 2: And You know, the bottom line is that it doesn't

860
00:40:33,790 --> 00:40:35,910
Speaker 2: matter how many days on a row you're drinking or

861
00:40:35,950 --> 00:40:38,529
Speaker 2: not drinking. If you're drinking and you can't stop, even

862
00:40:38,550 --> 00:40:40,130
Speaker 2: if it's on one day, that's a problem.

863
00:40:40,390 --> 00:40:40,930
Speaker 1: It's a problem.

864
00:40:41,230 --> 00:40:42,989
Speaker 2: I don't care if you're drinking twice a week and

865
00:40:43,030 --> 00:40:44,810
Speaker 2: you just can't stop those two times a week and

866
00:40:44,830 --> 00:40:47,430
Speaker 2: you're okay getting up the rest of the days, it's progressive.

867
00:40:47,550 --> 00:40:50,430
Speaker 2: And if it's anything that's harming your mental health, your

868
00:40:50,450 --> 00:40:53,180
Speaker 2: physical health or your wellbeing, it's just not worth it.

869
00:40:53,290 --> 00:40:55,570
Speaker 2: And for me, it wasn't worth it. And that's why

870
00:40:55,790 --> 00:40:58,430
Speaker 2: it's a disease because I couldn't control it. But that's

871
00:40:58,450 --> 00:41:00,299
Speaker 2: why I wrote the book and my hope is that

872
00:41:00,380 --> 00:41:04,969
Speaker 2: women read this, sisters read this, parents with children who

873
00:41:05,070 --> 00:41:09,629
Speaker 2: are struggling with alcoholism. It's for any family member who's

874
00:41:09,670 --> 00:41:13,370
Speaker 2: felt alone, who's felt isolated. I don't want anybody to

875
00:41:13,469 --> 00:41:16,469
Speaker 2: look at their computer screen like I did late at night,

876
00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:21,540
Speaker 2: crying into a glass of alcohol thinking, I can't do

877
00:41:21,580 --> 00:41:23,680
Speaker 2: this anymore. There's got to be a way out for me.

878
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:26,870
Speaker 2: I hope that my book will bring some light and

879
00:41:26,910 --> 00:41:30,050
Speaker 2: some resolution and some understanding, not only to the disease,

880
00:41:30,550 --> 00:41:35,270
Speaker 2: but to the progressive disease of alcoholism in motherhood. And

881
00:41:35,570 --> 00:41:37,590
Speaker 2: it's not talked about enough. We have a lot to

882
00:41:37,650 --> 00:41:41,430
Speaker 2: learn in this space still. Yeah, 100%.

883
00:41:41,430 --> 00:41:43,610
Speaker 3: And it's called No Wine in the Carpool Line.

884
00:41:43,950 --> 00:41:44,189
Speaker 1: Yes.

885
00:41:44,790 --> 00:41:48,390
Speaker 2: No Wine in the Carpool Line is what it's called.

886
00:41:48,410 --> 00:41:51,930
Speaker 2: I've been having it online now for a few months

887
00:41:52,530 --> 00:41:56,320
Speaker 2: and it's starting to get some traction. Barnes and Noble, Walmart,

888
00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:59,230
Speaker 2: all the places. I just, I'm really excited about it.

889
00:41:59,380 --> 00:42:04,319
Speaker 2: And I hope that it will help somebody, help anybody.

890
00:42:04,340 --> 00:42:05,609
Speaker 2: It's just, it's all.

891
00:42:05,570 --> 00:42:08,010
Speaker 1: I really wanted. That's amazing, Kat.

892
00:42:08,190 --> 00:42:09,989
Speaker 3: I will put a link to the book in the

893
00:42:10,050 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 3: show notes. Thank you so much for being here. I

894
00:42:13,340 --> 00:42:16,570
Speaker 3: absolutely like adore you. I adore what you're doing. I

895
00:42:16,610 --> 00:42:18,270
Speaker 3: wish we could go to lunch right now and just

896
00:42:18,310 --> 00:42:24,690
Speaker 3: keep talking. But you are just awesome and I appreciate you.

897
00:42:24,770 --> 00:42:27,850
Speaker 3: So thank you for being here and thank you ladies

898
00:42:27,890 --> 00:42:28,470
Speaker 3: for listening.

899
00:42:29,090 --> 00:42:33,239
Speaker 1: We will see you next week. Thank you, Christy. See

900
00:42:33,260 --> 00:42:34,620
Speaker 1: you soon. Thank you so much.

901
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:36,859
Speaker 3: Thank you for spending this time with me on Love

902
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:40,219
Speaker 3: Live Sober. If today's conversation stirred something in your heart,

903
00:42:40,590 --> 00:42:43,200
Speaker 3: Don't rush past it. Take it to prayer. If you're

904
00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:46,620
Speaker 3: feeling ready for deeper connection and support, I'd love to

905
00:42:46,660 --> 00:42:49,840
Speaker 3: invite you into the Love Life Sober community, a grace-filled,

906
00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:54,759
Speaker 3: shame-free space where real connection grows and lasting change takes root.

907
00:42:55,050 --> 00:42:56,930
Speaker 3: You can find the link to join us in the

908
00:42:56,969 --> 00:43:00,549
Speaker 3: show notes. Love Life Sober is part of the Life

909
00:43:00,650 --> 00:43:04,790
Speaker 3: Audio Podcast Network, where faith-centered podcasts help you grow deeper

910
00:43:04,830 --> 00:43:07,839
Speaker 3: in your walk with Christ. You can find more faith-centered

911
00:43:07,860 --> 00:43:12,680
Speaker 3: podcasts at lifeaudio.com. Until next time, be gentle with yourself,

912
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:16,779
Speaker 3: stay curious, and trust God's promises. He has freedom waiting

913
00:43:16,820 --> 00:43:17,060
Speaker 3: for you.