1 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of 2 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 1: hours of Dennis's lectures courses in classic radio programs. Had 3 00:00:27,880 --> 00:01:03,679 Speaker 1: to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to Dennisprager dot com. 4 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 2: Hi everybody, I'm welcome to the Happiness Hour on the 5 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:07,679 Speaker 2: Dennis Prager Show. 6 00:01:08,039 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 3: Every week at this time, no matter what. Hey, yes, yes, 7 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,240 Speaker 3: oh yes, oh yes, oh yes it is. 8 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 2: It's the happy It's our We talk about happiness every 9 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:25,319 Speaker 2: week at this time because it is a moral obligation 10 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 2: to be as happy as possible. 11 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 3: Hey, it's the happy, Happy, Happy, Happy Hour. And it 12 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 3: really is. Why would you think I would. 13 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,760 Speaker 2: Choose a one topic is the only one of all 14 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:41,000 Speaker 2: the things I talk about that I'm obligated to talk about. 15 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:43,679 Speaker 2: I have an Ultimate Issues Hour every week where I 16 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 2: talk about some great issue of life. But there are 17 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 2: different ones each week. But this is happiness every week. 18 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 2: Happy people make the world better. The unhappy tend to 19 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:58,120 Speaker 2: make the world worse. I'm sorry, unhappy ones. I'm sorry. 20 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 2: The unhappy walk around thinking that the happy you don't 21 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:05,240 Speaker 2: have any problems. It's a common belief among the unhappy 22 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 2: that only they have the issues. You know there are, 23 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:12,959 Speaker 2: of course, there are exceptions to every rule, including this one. 24 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:16,799 Speaker 2: But that's why we owe it to our children, our 25 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 2: spouse is, our parents, our friends. God, I was on 26 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 2: a plane yesterday. The guy next to me was one 27 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:30,919 Speaker 2: of these misanthrops. I mean, he didn't do anything cruel, 28 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 2: but I remember just saying, hey, good morning. Yeah, and 29 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 2: that was the response, and he spoke it was he 30 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 2: was not far and born. And I'm telling you your trip, 31 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 2: especially cross country, your trip is different. If you sit 32 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:55,000 Speaker 2: next to an unhappy and obviously unhappy person, it is 33 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 2: I'm not asking for some manic to sit next to 34 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:04,080 Speaker 2: me and giggle the entire time. That's that's horrific. But 35 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 2: the opposite of unhappy is not manic, is balanced and 36 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:14,240 Speaker 2: have an upbeat disposition in life. A friend of mine 37 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:17,519 Speaker 2: told me, you like this Alan, It was the was 38 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 2: and he told me that he was telling his son 39 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 2: old how old is the younger one? About eleven? So 40 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:34,280 Speaker 2: I had he says, the younger son told him that 41 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:38,360 Speaker 2: he was unhappy I was moving from the neighborhood. And 42 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:43,480 Speaker 2: he said, I really I like Dennis because he is 43 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:47,400 Speaker 2: fun to be with and he doesn't listen to the 44 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 2: show eleven year old. Eleven year old likes to be 45 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:55,119 Speaker 2: with an upbeat adult, and I don't clown with him. 46 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 2: I'm not one of those adults who entertains children. He 47 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 2: just likes that temperament. We all like it. It's just 48 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 2: the way it is. But in the sixties, which ushered 49 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,120 Speaker 2: in the Age of stupidity, the idea came that if 50 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,800 Speaker 2: you don't feel it, then you shouldn't act it, right, 51 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 2: a typically foolish idea of that period. You don't feel happy, folks, 52 00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 2: you should act happy anyway. For this, it's like saying 53 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,719 Speaker 2: I don't feel clean. Well, you still take a shower 54 00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:26,279 Speaker 2: whether you feel clean or not. And anyway, if you 55 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,159 Speaker 2: act happy, you'll be happier. Anyway. 56 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 3: Now to today's topic. A lot of. 57 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:39,359 Speaker 2: People fear making decisions talk to real estate agents. Real 58 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 2: estate agents and their work. Their work fascinate me, fascinates me. 59 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 2: I love homes. I finally find I love walking into 60 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:54,000 Speaker 2: people's homes. I love that is a very real. Estate 61 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:56,640 Speaker 2: is very real. Real estate work is real. People are 62 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 2: real because when it comes to your home and to money, 63 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:06,200 Speaker 2: people are not acting. And I have bought more homes 64 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:09,080 Speaker 2: than I want to think about not. At the same time, 65 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 2: I wish I could, that it would be great, but 66 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:15,160 Speaker 2: life doesn't always come the way you think it will come. 67 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:18,960 Speaker 2: And I have bought more homes than I expected in successively. 68 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:24,040 Speaker 2: I'm not complaining, I'm just stating a fact. So I 69 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:27,040 Speaker 2: am somewhat of a of an expert on on the 70 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 2: psychology and a lot of other aspects of real estate. 71 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 3: I mean, certainly not. 72 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:33,920 Speaker 2: I don't know what a real estate broker knows, but lord, 73 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,599 Speaker 2: I know something about the process of selling and the 74 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:41,600 Speaker 2: process of buying. And there are people who I am 75 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 2: the opposite of this person. There are people who can't 76 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:45,040 Speaker 2: make up their. 77 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 3: Mind on a house, just can't. 78 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,680 Speaker 2: I was talking to a broker or recently about a 79 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:56,000 Speaker 2: guy who was debating between two houses, and I told 80 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,040 Speaker 2: this guy said, how long has this guy been debating? 81 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:01,160 Speaker 2: He said six months. I said, forget it. You are 82 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:05,039 Speaker 2: wasting your time with this man. This man will not 83 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:10,039 Speaker 2: decide for so long it will be it'll be drive 84 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,800 Speaker 2: you nuts. And though he was a broker with a 85 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 2: lot of experience, he didn't believe me. He just disagreed 86 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:19,200 Speaker 2: with me. And sure enough, it turns out that this 87 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 2: guy is continues to be undecided. This notion of indecision 88 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,320 Speaker 2: because of a big of a big decision. 89 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,119 Speaker 3: And it is a big decision, buying a house. 90 00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:32,160 Speaker 2: Nobody knows better than I. It's a big decision. It 91 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:35,760 Speaker 2: is a big in every way. Where you live is important, 92 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,680 Speaker 2: the type of home you have is important, and of 93 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 2: course monetarily it's extremely important. 94 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:41,159 Speaker 3: Oh. 95 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:46,039 Speaker 2: I don't understate the importance of buying a house, but 96 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,560 Speaker 2: I do wish to make the point. And this is 97 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,599 Speaker 2: the point of this Happiness Hour. A lot of people 98 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 2: are plagued by fear of making a decision. There are 99 00:06:59,839 --> 00:07:05,080 Speaker 2: people who labor more over what dessert to get than 100 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:08,840 Speaker 2: I have over on occasion, what home to get. I 101 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 2: like the home, I like the place, I like the price. 102 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,640 Speaker 2: Sign me up. I don't have a life to spend 103 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 2: looking as much as I enjoy looking at different homes. 104 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,920 Speaker 2: If I found a good one, then I'm I'm happy. 105 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 2: What is the worst thing that could happen? This I 106 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 2: did an hour on Alan a long time ago. Everyone 107 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,760 Speaker 2: should always ask themselves what's the worst that could happen? 108 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,960 Speaker 2: So the worst that could happen with regard to buying 109 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 2: a house that you later regret is you later regret 110 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 2: you bought that house. It's not doesn't. 111 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 3: Work out, fine, you can't, but it can't be that bad. 112 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 3: It can't be. 113 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 2: That bad because you bought it. It must have enticed 114 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:55,679 Speaker 2: you for a whole host of reasons. And people spend 115 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 2: their lives, and I feel bad for the spouse. Now, 116 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:02,880 Speaker 2: if your spouse is as tentative as you are, then 117 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:05,880 Speaker 2: you're blessed. That's fine, and it doesn't annoy your spouse. 118 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 2: But I would think, and I hate to put this 119 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,200 Speaker 2: burden on some of you, but I would think that 120 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,040 Speaker 2: women would like to be married to a man who 121 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 2: makes a decision. Isn't that part of what renders a 122 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 2: man masculine? I am making a decision. Doesn't mean you 123 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,720 Speaker 2: make it against your wife's will. But if she's looking 124 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:29,239 Speaker 2: to you for a leadership in that in that arena, 125 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:30,000 Speaker 2: then damn it. 126 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 3: Lead. I like that house. 127 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 2: We're taking it well, I don't know, but this one 128 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:40,480 Speaker 2: has this This one has an extra bathroom. But this 129 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:44,720 Speaker 2: one has another studio, and this one has for California least. 130 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:47,520 Speaker 2: This one has a little pool. This one has a jacuzzi. 131 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:51,079 Speaker 2: This one doesn't have either, but it has more tulips. 132 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,400 Speaker 2: This one has a little more flat land in the back. 133 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,679 Speaker 3: This one has a hilly background. Of course. That that's 134 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:57,000 Speaker 3: the way it. 135 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 2: Unless you have unlimited funds, you are going to pay. 136 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,200 Speaker 2: You're going to figure out what you give up and 137 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 2: what you have. That's the way of That's all of life. 138 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,960 Speaker 2: No matter what you get you it comes with some price. 139 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 2: Anything you get if you and if you get one 140 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 2: with everything you want, then it will the upkeep will 141 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:15,720 Speaker 2: be a fortune. 142 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:17,600 Speaker 3: And you don't. 143 00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:20,080 Speaker 2: You probably don't have the money for everything you want. 144 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 2: And it doesn't only apply to real estate. I'm using 145 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:31,280 Speaker 2: the real estate example. It doesn't only apply to real estate. 146 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:35,360 Speaker 2: It applies to getting married. Well you know, I mean 147 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 2: she has this and not this, but she has that 148 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,959 Speaker 2: one in this and he has this but not that 149 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 2: and that and but not this. And you know, if 150 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 2: what is it that most what is it that the 151 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:54,520 Speaker 2: indecisive want? Absolute certitude? Where in life is absolute certitude available? 152 00:09:55,280 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 2: Where one eight prager seven seven six do are you plagued? 153 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:05,280 Speaker 2: And I know wonderful people. This is not a character flaw. 154 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:06,160 Speaker 3: This is an. 155 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:11,360 Speaker 2: Emotional problem, psychological one. Do you are you someone plagued 156 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:16,720 Speaker 2: by the inability to make a decision? If you are, 157 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:21,120 Speaker 2: and I say this in very openly, I feel bad 158 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:24,440 Speaker 2: for you. I have seen people suffer. This guy whom 159 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,439 Speaker 2: I never met, the debating between House A and House B. 160 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,360 Speaker 3: I mean, I can't believe he's happy. 161 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know well this, but I don't know that, 162 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 2: and I don't know, and I don't know, and I 163 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 2: don't know what. No certitude is available. You sit down, 164 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,280 Speaker 2: you make a decision, and you move on with life. 165 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 2: That is the best way in which to do these things. 166 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:51,480 Speaker 2: Make a decision. I'm sure that people do this with cars, 167 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,600 Speaker 2: car dealers. May you may have if you're a real 168 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 2: estate agent, you have examples of this. I'd love to 169 00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 2: hear from you if you are, if you're married to 170 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:03,040 Speaker 2: someone played with the inability to make a decision, I'd 171 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:05,240 Speaker 2: like to hear from you. And I think I can 172 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:08,920 Speaker 2: help you, at least I can help your mind, not 173 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 2: your psyche, adjust to making decisions because I want to 174 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:16,480 Speaker 2: know what you fear, because it's all based on fear. 175 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:20,240 Speaker 3: What do you fear when it come to making a decision? 176 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,920 Speaker 2: One eighth Praguer seven seven six The Happiness Hour on 177 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:24,920 Speaker 2: The Dennis Prager Show. 178 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:28,840 Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless wisdom will continue right after this. 179 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:42,679 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom. 180 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:46,440 Speaker 2: Happy music on the Happiness Hour. Hi everyone, Dennis Prager here. 181 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:52,040 Speaker 2: I talk about happiness every week at this hour. I 182 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,240 Speaker 2: think the only exception I ever made was the week 183 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,760 Speaker 2: of nine to eleven. And I'm not sure I did that, 184 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 2: but I think I did. 185 00:11:59,000 --> 00:11:59,720 Speaker 3: Welcome back. 186 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:03,360 Speaker 2: I'm talking to you about a problem that afflicts I 187 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 2: wonder what percentage. 188 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 3: I'd love to know what percentage of people. And I'd 189 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:07,920 Speaker 3: like to help you. 190 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 2: With this because you can't be happy if you have 191 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:14,800 Speaker 2: this problem, and that is the inability to make decisions. 192 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 2: I was using the real estate issue. You could apply 193 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 2: to anything. People I don't know. Well, this is my 194 00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:23,760 Speaker 2: favorite about the real estate issue. When people say, well, 195 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:24,120 Speaker 2: I don't know. 196 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:28,120 Speaker 3: Is this a good time to buy? What does that 197 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:29,319 Speaker 3: mean good? You know? 198 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:33,080 Speaker 2: You know when is a good time to buy? You 199 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,440 Speaker 2: have to live life. You can't base it on well, 200 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:38,319 Speaker 2: when will they still go down further? You don't know that. 201 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,000 Speaker 2: I have lived through more real estate cycles then I can. 202 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,360 Speaker 2: Then I can account. 203 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:46,960 Speaker 3: I don't know. Is this the time? It'll be better 204 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:47,560 Speaker 3: next year? 205 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:50,640 Speaker 2: I'll wait till rates change well, rates may go up 206 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:53,000 Speaker 2: in the meantime, you have to live, You may have 207 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:58,640 Speaker 2: a heart attack in the meantime. So so anyway, that's 208 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:00,800 Speaker 2: just the real I mean, it could be on choosing espouse, 209 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:04,040 Speaker 2: it could be on a job, it could be anything. 210 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 2: Decisions have to be made. All right, Let's let's go 211 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:12,200 Speaker 2: to let's I want to find out what stops you, 212 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,360 Speaker 2: what goes on in your mind in the fear of 213 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:19,439 Speaker 2: making a decision. Alrighty, we begin in Dallas with Rob. Hello, Rob, 214 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:20,760 Speaker 2: Dennis Prager, thanks for calling. 215 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:25,440 Speaker 4: Hey, Hey, Dennis, pleasure to talk to you. Hey, there, 216 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:31,600 Speaker 4: I I'm such an indecisive person on so many levels. 217 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:34,240 Speaker 4: But uh, even to the point that I don't I 218 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,240 Speaker 4: can't even decide what to say to you right now. 219 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,040 Speaker 3: But the point. 220 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:43,560 Speaker 4: Being, even the little things in daily life, like I 221 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,960 Speaker 4: find myself getting caught up, you know, should I put 222 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 4: my microwave or put my coffee in the microwave to 223 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,240 Speaker 4: get it heated up before I turn on my computer, 224 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,720 Speaker 4: because which one's going to take longer for me to 225 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,559 Speaker 4: do and one could be working while the other ones not. 226 00:13:56,640 --> 00:14:00,439 Speaker 4: I mean, just even the littlest things. Yeah, so it 227 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,480 Speaker 4: sometimes I find myself paralyzed by. 228 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:07,520 Speaker 3: Yes, exactly, it's paralyzing. I assume you're not married. 229 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,920 Speaker 4: Oh I am. I am married. I am married. And 230 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,120 Speaker 4: it doesn't I mean, it doesn't keep me from living 231 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,880 Speaker 4: a good life or or anything like that, or a 232 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:16,440 Speaker 4: production does. 233 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:21,760 Speaker 3: Does it affect your wife? 234 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:25,960 Speaker 4: Maybe in some respect, but I mean, of course she's 235 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 4: a very understanding person. But I don't know if you know, 236 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:33,800 Speaker 4: we've talked about it before, and I don't know if 237 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:37,080 Speaker 4: it's if it's some kind of form of add or 238 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:37,640 Speaker 4: what it is. 239 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:41,200 Speaker 2: But well, you know, these initials have really caused us 240 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 2: to think in psychopathological terms. When the issue may well 241 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,000 Speaker 2: be in your mind. It may not just be a 242 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:55,000 Speaker 2: sum add is where there is a block, physiological block, 243 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,800 Speaker 2: there may not be rob it may be I want 244 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,320 Speaker 2: you to analyze, if not for me, for yourself. I 245 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,960 Speaker 2: want you to analyze. There are two things I want 246 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:06,560 Speaker 2: you to do. Analyze what you fear, because it has 247 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:10,400 Speaker 2: to be driven by fear. Something will happen if I 248 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:15,000 Speaker 2: make the wrong decision. That has to be a driving element. 249 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,040 Speaker 2: Is that fair to say? 250 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:18,160 Speaker 4: I think that's probably correct. 251 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:18,480 Speaker 3: Okay. 252 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:23,840 Speaker 2: Number two, I want you to start timing yourself on 253 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:27,320 Speaker 2: all these little decisions of your daily life and say, 254 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 2: no matter what, I'm coming to a decision within thirty seconds. Right, 255 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:35,560 Speaker 2: just be behavioral. And then I want you to then 256 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:38,920 Speaker 2: realize that even if you made the wrong decision, the 257 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:43,560 Speaker 2: price paid is not terribly significant or or there may 258 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,400 Speaker 2: not even be a wrong decision. 259 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,840 Speaker 4: Correct And in most cases in my daily life there 260 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:52,320 Speaker 4: probably isn't a wrong decision. Yes, I'm getting hung up on. 261 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,200 Speaker 3: The that's right. 262 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 2: So I need you. I am I am a behaviorist. 263 00:15:55,960 --> 00:16:00,760 Speaker 2: I believe that forget your feelings, act with your mind. 264 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:05,240 Speaker 2: Mind says, make a decision. I am going to do it. 265 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,520 Speaker 2: I am going to do mind over matter, and I 266 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,280 Speaker 2: want you to do it for the next week and 267 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:10,040 Speaker 2: send me an email. 268 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:12,240 Speaker 3: I'm very serious. I'd be very interested. 269 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:16,560 Speaker 2: In knowing what would happen with Rob And obviously for 270 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,880 Speaker 2: those of you who are plagued and obviously a lot 271 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:20,360 Speaker 2: of if you were plagued there, I wouldn't have raised 272 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 2: this as an issue. You can't make decisions, force yourself 273 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:28,680 Speaker 2: to make decisions within thirty seconds and find out what happens. 274 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,680 Speaker 3: Is life worse? Is life better? Is life the same? 275 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:38,600 Speaker 2: Oh? Okay, let's go to Elisa in Phoenix. Thank you, 276 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:39,800 Speaker 2: Rob Lisa Phoenix. 277 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,600 Speaker 3: Dennis Prager, Hi, Hi Dennis. 278 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:43,400 Speaker 5: I've been waiting so long for you to ask a 279 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:46,600 Speaker 5: question like this because I really have a difficult time 280 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:51,000 Speaker 5: making decisions in general. But as of late, we have 281 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,480 Speaker 5: this big issue and it's just pressing on me where 282 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,360 Speaker 5: I can't sleep at night and keeping me up at night. 283 00:16:56,440 --> 00:17:01,200 Speaker 5: And my husband is very black and white. He thinks 284 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,640 Speaker 5: it's I'm ridiculous, and he thinks I worry too much, 285 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:06,560 Speaker 5: but it's basically my seven year old son. He's in 286 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:10,919 Speaker 5: a parochial school. He's in first grade, going into second grade, 287 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:15,440 Speaker 5: and academically the school's okay. He's getting, you know, some 288 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:19,239 Speaker 5: of the values that we like. However, he is a 289 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 5: gifted child who's a little quirky and doesn't seem to 290 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,960 Speaker 5: quite fit in socially, and they happen to have this 291 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:30,720 Speaker 5: amazing gifted program in the public schools, which is kind 292 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:34,120 Speaker 5: of like him. It's gear took towards kids like him 293 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,880 Speaker 5: that that are a little quirky, but you know, need 294 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:40,080 Speaker 5: more academic stimulation and a socratic setting and that sort 295 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,120 Speaker 5: of thing. And we've I've been going back and forth 296 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,880 Speaker 5: because school here starts in less than a month, and 297 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,320 Speaker 5: we don't. He's enrolled in both places and I don't 298 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:48,080 Speaker 5: know where to put him. 299 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:52,600 Speaker 2: Okay, first, let me tell you that that, as so 300 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:55,760 Speaker 2: often in life, both choices are good. 301 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:59,840 Speaker 3: You are not choosing between death and life. Here. You 302 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:03,040 Speaker 3: are choosing between one wonderful form of schooling and another 303 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:06,199 Speaker 3: wonderful form of schooling. So you shouldn't lose any sleep. 304 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,800 Speaker 5: But I feel like if I make the wrong decision, 305 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:10,680 Speaker 5: and you'll change. 306 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,880 Speaker 2: If you make the wrong decision, then you'll go back 307 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:16,200 Speaker 2: to the other school kids kids witch schools all the time. 308 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:17,320 Speaker 3: It doesn't mean matter. 309 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 2: So that's why I have raised always ask what's the 310 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:24,159 Speaker 2: worst that could happen? It's not as if you know 311 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:27,879 Speaker 2: it's either schooled here or there's this terrific school for 312 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:31,119 Speaker 2: seven year old in Tokyo and I won't see my 313 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,440 Speaker 2: seven year old for a year. 314 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,040 Speaker 3: Is it's between a. 315 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:38,320 Speaker 2: Good parochial school and a special public school for gifted 316 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:44,000 Speaker 2: kids there? The answer lies in your value system, and 317 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:49,239 Speaker 2: for me, great academics is of no interest zero, So 318 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,560 Speaker 2: therefore for me it would be a non issue. I 319 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:54,560 Speaker 2: would send them to the parochial school. But I'm not 320 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,479 Speaker 2: even urging you to. I'm saying, because I'm clear in 321 00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:00,679 Speaker 2: my values, I know what decision I would make, especially 322 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,159 Speaker 2: since I don't want my child to walk around thinking 323 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:03,800 Speaker 2: he's gifted. 324 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:08,199 Speaker 5: Dennis, do you remember you had that woman with her 325 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,360 Speaker 5: lasting was duet, and she had the book The Mindset. 326 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,159 Speaker 5: It talked about how you should and praise your children 327 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:14,800 Speaker 5: all the time. 328 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,040 Speaker 6: And I got your book and. 329 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,200 Speaker 5: I read it, and I figured that would help me 330 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,920 Speaker 5: make my decision. And it's not that we want him 331 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,600 Speaker 5: to think he's gifted, That's certainly not it. And of 332 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,040 Speaker 5: course that we want him to get the values, because 333 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:30,679 Speaker 5: that's that's what we believe in, and I think that paramount. 334 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,879 Speaker 5: But if he's not happy socially and he's being picked 335 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:35,880 Speaker 5: on I made fun. 336 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,199 Speaker 2: Of, that's right, You're right if that's the inevitable. On 337 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:41,399 Speaker 2: the other hand, isolating him from the normal, so to speak, 338 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,160 Speaker 2: may not be a great decision either. Maybe he needs 339 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:48,120 Speaker 2: to learn to live with the normal. Back in a moment, Hi, everybody, 340 00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:51,119 Speaker 2: welcome back. This is the Dennis Brager Show, The Happiness Hour, 341 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:55,560 Speaker 2: an hour every week at this time, second hour on 342 00:19:55,640 --> 00:20:01,879 Speaker 2: Friday devoted to the subject of happiness, and today it 343 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:07,560 Speaker 2: is about the inability to make decisions. People fear making 344 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:11,560 Speaker 2: a decision, who to marry, what house to buy? On 345 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:14,080 Speaker 2: big ones? What you just heard? What school will I 346 00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:16,359 Speaker 2: send my kid to? This poor I mean it, This 347 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:20,280 Speaker 2: poor woman can't sleep at night. And the irony is 348 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:24,600 Speaker 2: she has two good choices. It's not like, well, this 349 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,160 Speaker 2: one may give my child malaria and this one may 350 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:30,760 Speaker 2: give my child diphtheria. 351 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:36,120 Speaker 3: It's not. It's not the presidential decision of the troops 352 00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:40,439 Speaker 3: in iraq uh and we get paralyzed. 353 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:43,480 Speaker 2: I was thinking of this because of being involved in 354 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,520 Speaker 2: in a real estate there recently and. 355 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,480 Speaker 3: A man that I never met in my life. I 356 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:51,040 Speaker 3: have no I know, I don't know who he is. 357 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:55,320 Speaker 2: But who is debating between two houses for six months 358 00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:58,720 Speaker 2: and will debate another six months and. 359 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:04,960 Speaker 3: They will both be gone? That's what's gonna happen. What 360 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,280 Speaker 3: do you see again? 361 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:11,600 Speaker 2: You? This is the battle between the mind and the brain. 362 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:16,360 Speaker 2: Your mind has to direct you if your if your 363 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:22,040 Speaker 2: mind governed, you can be happy the mind the mind, 364 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:26,560 Speaker 2: the mind thinking rationally and not allowing fears. 365 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,159 Speaker 3: To overwhelm you and so on. What is the worst 366 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 3: thing that can happen if you make a bad choice. 367 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:37,040 Speaker 2: Now, there are times where their consequences are extraordinary. 368 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,120 Speaker 3: I agree, but not in a house purchase. 369 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:43,840 Speaker 2: It's pretty rare that you can't go back on a decision, 370 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:50,399 Speaker 2: or going back on it is really really traumatic. Okay, 371 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,639 Speaker 2: let's go to all the sorts of examples that people 372 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:57,080 Speaker 2: can give. And I hope that was it. Robin Dallas. 373 00:21:57,119 --> 00:21:59,119 Speaker 2: I hope he does contact me. I just told him. 374 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,000 Speaker 2: I want you to make decisions within thirty seconds for 375 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,639 Speaker 2: the next week, whatever it is, what you're going to 376 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:08,840 Speaker 2: order in a restaurant, anything you want. I've seen people 377 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:12,120 Speaker 2: pour over restaurant menus as if they were choosing which 378 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:13,639 Speaker 2: form of execution they should have. 379 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:17,439 Speaker 3: Will it be by chair, the electric chair? Will I 380 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:26,359 Speaker 3: be shot? Correct? The uh? Poenix, Arizona, Steve, Hello, Steve, 381 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:27,920 Speaker 3: Dennis Prager, Hey. 382 00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:29,040 Speaker 7: Dennis, good talking to you again. 383 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:30,600 Speaker 3: Thank you. Hey. 384 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:34,520 Speaker 7: First of all, I'm a golf instructor, and anybody that's 385 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,000 Speaker 7: been in golf can tell you that a lot of 386 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:41,440 Speaker 7: what happens in golf mimics real life situations, right, And 387 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,920 Speaker 7: one of the common themes that you run into all 388 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,359 Speaker 7: the time with especially as my students, is this theme 389 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,280 Speaker 7: called paralysis by analysis. 390 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:48,960 Speaker 3: Huh. 391 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,679 Speaker 7: And it's exactly what you're talking about. They get so 392 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:55,040 Speaker 7: many things caught up in their mind that they begin 393 00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:58,920 Speaker 7: to fear actually doing any one of the twenty things wrong. 394 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 2: So give me an example, because I don't know golf well, 395 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:02,720 Speaker 2: but give me an example. 396 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:06,119 Speaker 7: Well, let's say, for example, Sue is standing over the 397 00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:09,080 Speaker 7: ball and she's about ready to hit. Well, she's thinking, well, 398 00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:11,720 Speaker 7: as my alignment correct? As you know, do I have 399 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:14,119 Speaker 7: a correct grip on the club? Am I? Am I 400 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,920 Speaker 7: standing to the ball? Far enough? Am I going? Am I? 401 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,760 Speaker 3: I see? I never hits the ball? 402 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,520 Speaker 2: That's great. That's the old joke of how do you 403 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,480 Speaker 2: paralyze a centipede? Tell him to think about his legs? 404 00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:31,120 Speaker 3: Yes, that's right, that's exactly right. Thank you so much. 405 00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:33,080 Speaker 2: All right, good you heard it now front that's a 406 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:36,960 Speaker 2: per I guess it's a perfect example. What you That's 407 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:40,160 Speaker 2: why I'm asking you folks to pose the question to yourself, 408 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:41,800 Speaker 2: what's the worst that can happen if I make the 409 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:48,040 Speaker 2: wrong choice? What's the worst that could happen? Anaheim, California, 410 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,560 Speaker 2: Anaheim and Jennifer Hi, Jennifer, Dennis. 411 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:52,639 Speaker 6: Praeger Hi, Dennis, I just want to say you're in 412 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,919 Speaker 6: an intellectual hero of mine and my family, and I 413 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:56,040 Speaker 6: thank you for bringing this up. 414 00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:56,880 Speaker 3: Thank you. 415 00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,600 Speaker 6: I wanted to discuss the importance of parents letting their 416 00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:06,119 Speaker 6: children actually practice making decisions and allowing and supporting their consequences, right, 417 00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:08,560 Speaker 6: And that is something that I was not allowed to 418 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:13,560 Speaker 6: do in small or large things growing up really paralyzed 419 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:14,280 Speaker 6: me as an adult. 420 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:15,199 Speaker 3: I didn't think of that. 421 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:19,760 Speaker 2: And I tell you when give an example, Give an example. 422 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,720 Speaker 6: Okay, wasn't allowed to decide what to wear in the 423 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:26,280 Speaker 6: morning going to school, let alone what school clothes to buy. 424 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,040 Speaker 6: And so now when I get up in the morning 425 00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:33,119 Speaker 6: and I'm overwhelmed by the choices in front of me, 426 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:34,960 Speaker 6: I could wear this, but it's not this or that. 427 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:39,000 Speaker 6: But it's not that. And the rare times I was 428 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:42,560 Speaker 6: allowed to make a decision, that decision was often greeted 429 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:43,919 Speaker 6: with judgment or scorn. 430 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,880 Speaker 3: Oh just do this, you know I that's very interesting. 431 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:49,520 Speaker 3: I need to react to that. We'll be back in 432 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:49,920 Speaker 3: a moment. 433 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:54,000 Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 434 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:04,320 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. 435 00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:09,439 Speaker 2: Hi, everybody, you're listening to the Dennis Brager Show. This 436 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:11,720 Speaker 2: is the Happiness Hour, the hour I devote each week 437 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,280 Speaker 2: at this time to the subject of happiness, and this 438 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,480 Speaker 2: week's topic is indecision. 439 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,320 Speaker 3: And how many people are played by it. 440 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:24,160 Speaker 2: My theory is that you fear making the wrong decision 441 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,560 Speaker 2: and this is not I mean, this is not I 442 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:29,879 Speaker 2: haven't discovered America, as they say with this revelation. But 443 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:34,600 Speaker 2: if that is correct, then what you need to do 444 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,239 Speaker 2: is adopt a different philosophy. And that is so what 445 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:40,600 Speaker 2: if you make the wrong decisions? So what it is 446 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:44,360 Speaker 2: very rare in life that you can't undo a bad decision. 447 00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:45,480 Speaker 3: Very very very rare. 448 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,240 Speaker 2: And it is better to make wrong decisions than to 449 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:54,359 Speaker 2: make no decisions, is that right, Alan, That's a big one. 450 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:58,399 Speaker 2: It is better. As a praagarism. We used to make 451 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,720 Speaker 2: lists of those things. They were good because they come out, 452 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,680 Speaker 2: you know, spontaneously, and then they die in the either 453 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:14,040 Speaker 2: the atmosphere, tropisphere, ionosphere, or stratosphere. They don't oh good anyway, 454 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,640 Speaker 2: that's the point. Also, it's a temperament. It's it's good. 455 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:19,720 Speaker 2: It's good and doesn't mean you make decisions you think 456 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:21,959 Speaker 2: it through. Obviously it has to have thought, that has 457 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,920 Speaker 2: to have for a reason. But you make the decision 458 00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:26,680 Speaker 2: what house, what spouse, what else? 459 00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:28,720 Speaker 3: What else? Rhymes with that? What mouse? 460 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:34,440 Speaker 2: People spend a whole five hours at a pet stork 461 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:39,320 Speaker 2: choosing their mouse. Okay, Now, the last lady is a 462 00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:41,320 Speaker 2: poor thing. When she grew up, she was not allowed 463 00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:43,400 Speaker 2: to make any decisions, and she feels that that has 464 00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:46,879 Speaker 2: paralyzed her as an adult. It may well have, it 465 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,200 Speaker 2: may well have. But once you know that, I think 466 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:53,520 Speaker 2: half of your half of your solution is there. You 467 00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:56,679 Speaker 2: know the origins. That's why, folks, I am such a 468 00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:59,840 Speaker 2: big behaviorist. I believe you choose your behaviors and then 469 00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:02,879 Speaker 2: you let your psyche come along. Don't wait to change 470 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:07,080 Speaker 2: your psyche before you change your behavior. First change your behavior, 471 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:10,840 Speaker 2: then your psyche will travel behind it. 472 00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:18,280 Speaker 3: Oh okay, let's go and let's go to Ruthie in 473 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:23,040 Speaker 3: suit Her in Pennsylvania. Hi. Ruthie, Hi, Hi. 474 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,639 Speaker 8: Well here's my question. When you're talking about being afraid 475 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:31,720 Speaker 8: of making decisions, but I'm okay with picking a mouse. 476 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,399 Speaker 8: You know, it doesn't take me four hours. But I 477 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:39,240 Speaker 8: have two big decisions coming up. One is buying a house, right, 478 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,840 Speaker 8: and the other one is a bonus that my boss 479 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:46,520 Speaker 8: has offered me. And I am not afraid of I 480 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:48,360 Speaker 8: guess it's when it's a big decision, I have more 481 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,679 Speaker 8: fear of it, right, Right, And you said, you know 482 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,159 Speaker 8: what's the worst that could happen? Well, I don't know. 483 00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:58,399 Speaker 8: There's like nothing really that bad could happen. But I 484 00:27:58,400 --> 00:27:59,840 Speaker 8: still don't want to make the wrong decision. 485 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:01,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, but but how do you know what the wrong 486 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:02,720 Speaker 3: There's no way to. 487 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,640 Speaker 8: Know, right, Well, I guess that's the problem is. 488 00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:06,880 Speaker 2: Well, there is no way to know unless you can 489 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:10,480 Speaker 2: have a crystal ball. You can't know what the wrong 490 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:11,119 Speaker 2: decision is. 491 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,320 Speaker 8: Right, But what if they're both if they're both good options, 492 00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:15,120 Speaker 8: how do I pick? 493 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:16,680 Speaker 3: Then? If they're both good options? 494 00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:19,199 Speaker 2: You thank God that you have such a great life 495 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,800 Speaker 2: that you can choose between good and good. So at 496 00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:23,840 Speaker 2: worst you got good and not best. 497 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:29,080 Speaker 8: Okay, Well, I'm thankful to have a good and good decision, 498 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:30,360 Speaker 8: but I still have to make it. 499 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,080 Speaker 3: Okay, So what you give me an example here? Maybe 500 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:33,720 Speaker 3: I can help you. 501 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:39,480 Speaker 8: Okay, Well, a smaller one, like I said, is a bonus. 502 00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:42,440 Speaker 8: My boss offered me a bonus, and he said, I'll 503 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:45,000 Speaker 8: either give you either lease a car for you, or 504 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,600 Speaker 8: I'll give you a cash like a chunk of cash, 505 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:49,840 Speaker 8: and so I'm not I hit my car that I 506 00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:54,400 Speaker 8: have now, it's perfectly fine, it's maybe nine years old, 507 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:57,640 Speaker 8: runs well. I would like to have a bigger one. 508 00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:59,480 Speaker 8: But I would like to have money too, you know, 509 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:01,280 Speaker 8: because I'm looking to buy a house as well. So 510 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:05,080 Speaker 8: I don't know. I don't know what to tell him. 511 00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:08,360 Speaker 3: Then there is no right decision here. There is there is. 512 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:12,520 Speaker 2: You have two wonderful things being you sound almost like 513 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:15,000 Speaker 2: if he had offered you four terrific things, you'd even 514 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:16,000 Speaker 2: be in worse shape. 515 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:20,320 Speaker 6: Probably that's what I meant. 516 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:23,800 Speaker 2: Thank God, or you're lucky stars, whichever you believe in, 517 00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,200 Speaker 2: that you have been given this opportunity to have. 518 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:29,000 Speaker 3: One or the other. And you analyze how long? 519 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:33,040 Speaker 2: And this one is more I think, a cerebral than 520 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:36,440 Speaker 2: even an emotional one, wherein you sit down and you 521 00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:40,400 Speaker 2: calculate what will I benefit after all the bonus I 522 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:42,960 Speaker 2: have to pay taxes, but I don't know what the 523 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,880 Speaker 2: taxes are with regard to the car lease. 524 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:47,360 Speaker 3: How long more will my car last? 525 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,000 Speaker 2: What is the amount of joy I will get from 526 00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:53,480 Speaker 2: a car that I love versus the car that I 527 00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:55,640 Speaker 2: now have, And you make your list and then you 528 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:59,520 Speaker 2: make your decision and never look back. 529 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:00,200 Speaker 3: That's key. 530 00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:03,680 Speaker 2: Oh, oh you're doomed. You're doomed if you look back. 531 00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:06,760 Speaker 2: Oh if I have only done this in my life. 532 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:11,520 Speaker 8: Yeah, well, I guess partly why I'm also crippled with 533 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:14,400 Speaker 8: indecision on this one is because what I decide on 534 00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,239 Speaker 8: that will have an impact on other people and on 535 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:21,080 Speaker 8: my bigger, more serious real estate decision. Like I'm trying 536 00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,600 Speaker 8: to buy a house, right, but it's just me. I'm 537 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:25,480 Speaker 8: twenty seven, and I'm like. 538 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:30,480 Speaker 2: Well, let me just tell you this, buy anything now, 539 00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:35,720 Speaker 2: you're going to move anyway, Ruthie. Nobody almost living in 540 00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:38,400 Speaker 2: America is in the same house they were at twenty seven, 541 00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:43,960 Speaker 2: and you this is a low market. Buy now, and 542 00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:47,320 Speaker 2: then you will know houses much better once you live 543 00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:48,959 Speaker 2: in one, and you will be able to make a 544 00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:54,080 Speaker 2: far wiser decision in your next house. The first time 545 00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:58,280 Speaker 2: home buyer knows nothing I can tell you from experience. 546 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,280 Speaker 2: You buy a house, you learn about houses, you see 547 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,080 Speaker 2: what you care about. You don't know what you'll care 548 00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:06,480 Speaker 2: about in buying a house now you never bought one. 549 00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:10,480 Speaker 2: Buy something, get a good deal, and oh, then there 550 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:12,400 Speaker 2: are a lot of rules there. But I can review 551 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,040 Speaker 2: all of them now and then buy something and never 552 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,000 Speaker 2: look back. People look back all the time, and this 553 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:20,200 Speaker 2: drives me nuts. Remember I did the show, is it better? 554 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:23,960 Speaker 2: Where I was passionate? It is better to marry and 555 00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:27,320 Speaker 2: divorce than never to have been married. And it's it's 556 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:30,160 Speaker 2: like that. So so that didn't work out in the 557 00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:33,040 Speaker 2: long run, And so what do you do. You look 558 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:34,920 Speaker 2: back and you say, oh, you know, I wish I 559 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,040 Speaker 2: had never writ it would have been better to be single. 560 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:39,600 Speaker 2: The vast majority of people, in fact, don't believe it 561 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:41,600 Speaker 2: would have been better to have been single that whole time. 562 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:46,360 Speaker 2: The vast majority of divorced people and now, and believe me, 563 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,480 Speaker 2: a divorce in a marriage is far harder than a 564 00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:51,960 Speaker 2: divorce from a house, or a divorce from a car, 565 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:58,400 Speaker 2: or a divorce from a job. Celebrate your life, right, 566 00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:03,600 Speaker 2: I mean it, celebrate your life because everybody could could 567 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:08,240 Speaker 2: rethink everything they have done. We continue on the Happiness 568 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:09,600 Speaker 2: Hour on the Dennis Prager Show. 569 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:14,720 Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 570 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:26,480 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom. 571 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:30,719 Speaker 3: This could go on, really, this could go on for days. 572 00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:35,840 Speaker 2: I love the calls that I have up here, Oh 573 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:41,840 Speaker 2: boy one a Praguer seven seven six. In fact, I 574 00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:46,480 Speaker 2: would like Ezra to stay on for the next hour. 575 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,680 Speaker 2: I'm gonna that's a it's beyond the happiness issue. So 576 00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:55,480 Speaker 2: I hope he's listening. Ezra and Gig Harbor Washington, stay on, 577 00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:01,400 Speaker 2: and now I'm talking to you this hour, the happiness hour. 578 00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:03,600 Speaker 2: This is Dennis Praguer, And every week at this time 579 00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,720 Speaker 2: I do have an hour on happiness. The problem people 580 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:09,600 Speaker 2: paralyzed by inability to make a decision. And I gave 581 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:12,800 Speaker 2: the real estate example. It's it's endless house, spouse, mouse, 582 00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:16,200 Speaker 2: whatever it might be. Well, you know, I see both 583 00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:18,760 Speaker 2: sides are always both sides, folks, there's always both sides. 584 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:23,960 Speaker 2: Very rare that there aren't two sides. I see both sides, 585 00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:27,440 Speaker 2: of course you do. Of Course, there's going to be 586 00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:29,719 Speaker 2: a house that has something the other house doesn't have. 587 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:31,800 Speaker 2: Of Course, there's going to be a man or a 588 00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:33,720 Speaker 2: woman who has something that the other man or a 589 00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:34,600 Speaker 2: woman doesn't have. 590 00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:38,000 Speaker 3: Of Course, it's endless the way it works. 591 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:47,040 Speaker 2: Alrighty, let's see here and okay, well Jennifer was still on, 592 00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:48,920 Speaker 2: but I thought, I hope I dealt with that one 593 00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:53,400 Speaker 2: Jennifer become behavioral. Just just make the decisions, force yourself 594 00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:56,120 Speaker 2: to whether you're like like to or not. Folks, you 595 00:33:56,160 --> 00:34:00,520 Speaker 2: don't have to be emotionally comfortable with your decisions. There's 596 00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:04,800 Speaker 2: been too much emphasis placed on feelings. Man came over 597 00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:08,200 Speaker 2: to me after a speech this week in Toronto has 598 00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:09,320 Speaker 2: said he was offended. 599 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:12,720 Speaker 3: That's the only thing that. 600 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,239 Speaker 2: Drives me nuts when people react to me, because I'm 601 00:34:15,279 --> 00:34:18,960 Speaker 2: not offensive at all. What he meant to say was 602 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,559 Speaker 2: he didn't agree with me, so because he felt bad 603 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:25,680 Speaker 2: with what I said, he was offended. This is just narcissism. 604 00:34:26,359 --> 00:34:30,759 Speaker 2: Feelings are not that important. They're unbelievably important in making 605 00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:37,759 Speaker 2: us human, of course, but not in making our decisions. Okay, 606 00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:41,240 Speaker 2: let's see here my girlfriend. This is Andrew and Dallas. 607 00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:43,520 Speaker 2: My girlfriend couldn't make decision for the life of her, 608 00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:45,920 Speaker 2: but my impatience has made her more decisive. 609 00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:49,000 Speaker 3: Exactly. That's what people mean. You got You can't. 610 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:54,920 Speaker 2: You can't become enablers of the unhappy. It's another topic 611 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,680 Speaker 2: for you, enablers of the unhappy. That's what a lot 612 00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,640 Speaker 2: of people do. Give them feedback. 613 00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:02,719 Speaker 3: You know this. You can't live this way. A dear 614 00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:06,200 Speaker 3: girlfriend whom I love all. That's another one. 615 00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,680 Speaker 2: Dave in Colorado Springs. I have a girlfriend who I 616 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:11,000 Speaker 2: intellectually know is bad for me, but I'm so emotionally 617 00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:16,560 Speaker 2: attached i can't break up with her. Well, Dave, that's 618 00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:21,520 Speaker 2: sort of self answering. I think, why don't you take 619 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:25,000 Speaker 2: out an add in the obituary column, make believe you 620 00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:26,680 Speaker 2: died and just leave. 621 00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:30,040 Speaker 3: Bobby. 622 00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:33,000 Speaker 2: I'm sorry I didn't get to you and Lee as well. 623 00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:35,800 Speaker 2: Make decisions. This is Dennis. 624 00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:47,960 Speaker 1: This has been timeless wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit dennispragger 625 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:51,520 Speaker 1: dot com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, 626 00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:55,560 Speaker 1: and classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational 627 00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:56,200 Speaker 1: Bibles