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Speaker 1: To quote Joe Biden, Merry Christmas. Y'all enjoy this Christmas

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Speaker 1: presentation of Dear Father, Dear Son, Two Lives eight hours.

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Speaker 1: Larry Elder absolutely quite positively know as this is a

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Speaker 1: special edition of the Larry Other Show. It's all about

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Speaker 1: my latest book, Dear Father, Dear Son. I was asked

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Speaker 1: many times, why did you write the book? And when

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Speaker 1: I was growing up, I thought my dad was a grumpy, grouchy,

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Speaker 1: mean spirited, angry person who I really intently disliked. No

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Speaker 1: one could have told me that. Fast forward all these

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Speaker 1: years later, someday I would have written a book about him.

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Speaker 1: But the reason I wrote the book is because when

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Speaker 1: I first got on radio some twenty plus years ago,

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Speaker 1: I mentioned my dad one time and talked about how

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Speaker 1: he and I had reconciled. I didn't go into a

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Speaker 1: lot of detail, and I gave a speech before a

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Speaker 1: bunch of veterans several months later. I thought it was

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Speaker 1: a terrific speech. I talked about our affairs, foreign policy,

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Speaker 1: the war on Terror, and so forth, and then I

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Speaker 1: do Q and A as I often do when I

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Speaker 1: give a speech, and the first question was about my

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Speaker 1: father and the guy who asked me the question. Remembered

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Speaker 1: something that I had said about him some six months

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Speaker 1: ago that I barely remembered, but it made such an

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Speaker 1: impact on him. He opened the Q and A with that.

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Speaker 1: Even though I did not mention my dad in the speech,

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Speaker 1: I would give other speeches and the same thing would

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Speaker 1: happen over and over again. Someone would mention something that

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Speaker 1: I had said about my father on the air, often

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Speaker 1: in passing, and that would be what drove the Q

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Speaker 1: and A session. And then it occurred to me that

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Speaker 1: other people believe my dad's story was extraordinary, even if

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Speaker 1: at the time I didn't understand how extraordinary it was.

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Speaker 1: Although I knew my dad had overcome a lot, so

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Speaker 1: many people were asking me about him, And what I

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Speaker 1: said back then was that my father and I had

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Speaker 1: a very difficult relationship. I have two brothers, and I

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Speaker 1: guess the reason I was so confident my father was

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Speaker 1: an ogre is because my older brother Kirk and my

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Speaker 1: little brother Dennis felt exactly the same way about him.

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Speaker 1: My dad was the opposite of warm and fuzzy. He

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Speaker 1: was a janitor. He worked two full time jobs as

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Speaker 1: the janitor, and I knew he put in a long

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Speaker 1: lot of hours because when he come home, he sit

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Speaker 1: in a green chair and he would ask for the

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Speaker 1: TV guide. Now, the TV guide could be anywhere in

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Speaker 1: the house. By the time we'd gotten the TV guide,

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Speaker 1: it was delivered once a week. By the time it

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Speaker 1: had been in the house three or four or five days,

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Speaker 1: lord knows where it was, and my dad would be

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Speaker 1: furious when he would reach for it and it wasn't there.

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Speaker 1: And I didn't understand how something so trivial could set

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Speaker 1: him off so much. And that was common with my father.

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Speaker 1: My father would come home and you'd see our toys

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Speaker 1: on the floor, and instead of telling us to pick

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Speaker 1: them up, my dad would kick them out of his way,

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Speaker 1: and sometimes so hard the toy would break. And I

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Speaker 1: just didn't understand how somebody could be so honory. What

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Speaker 1: was wrong with this man? My father would whip us

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Speaker 1: with belts, and he would take his belt off when

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Speaker 1: we do something wrong, or when my mother would tell

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Speaker 1: him what we did wrong. When he came home, and

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Speaker 1: he would tear us up, and I felt the punishment

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Speaker 1: did not feed the fit the crime, And again I

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Speaker 1: did not understand what made him so volatile. One day,

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Speaker 1: I worked up enough nerve to sneak into his bedroom

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Speaker 1: and get into the deaf dresser drawer to find the

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Speaker 1: belt that he used to whip us. And I found it,

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Speaker 1: or so I thought, and took it out and went outstairs.

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Speaker 1: We lived on a corner house where there was a

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Speaker 1: big sewer on the outside, and I threw it down

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Speaker 1: the sewer, and I thought, maybe from now on he

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Speaker 1: would have to figure out a different way of punishing us.

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Speaker 1: I can't remember how long it was after that that

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Speaker 1: I threw away the belt that my dad came home.

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Speaker 1: We had done some thing that he felt was worthy

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Speaker 1: of punishing, and he reached into a drawer and pulled

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Speaker 1: out another belt somewhere else. My dad did not run

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Speaker 1: out of belts. My mother, when she would punish us,

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Speaker 1: would tell us to go and get a switch, meaning

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Speaker 1: to get a little tree, a little branch off the tree.

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Speaker 1: And the branch was too thin, she send us back,

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Speaker 1: but she never send us back for a really thick branch.

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Speaker 1: And she would hit us and we would cry on purpose,

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Speaker 1: but it never really was hard. I didn't tell my

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Speaker 1: mom that mother that until years later. She really thought

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Speaker 1: she was putting a whipping on us, but it was

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Speaker 1: nothing like my dad. And with my dad, you never

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Speaker 1: knew what it was that would set him off. Something

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Speaker 1: that would set him off on Monday would happen on

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Speaker 1: a Tuesday and it wouldn't set him off, and then

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Speaker 1: something that did set him off on Wednesday would not

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Speaker 1: set him off on Friday. We didn't understand his temper.

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Speaker 1: We didn't understand the lack of consistency. We didn't understand

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Speaker 1: what the rules were other than don't annoy Dad, don't

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Speaker 1: anger Dad. So he come home and sit in the

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Speaker 1: green chair, and if the TV guy wasn't there, he'd

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Speaker 1: yell and scream at us, and he would talk about

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Speaker 1: how hard he worked, how little rest he got, and

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Speaker 1: how the least that he could ask for was to

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Speaker 1: have the GD TV guide right there when he needed

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Speaker 1: it one more time. I did not understand why he

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Speaker 1: had such a temper. Now, my brothers and I were rambunctious.

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Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong, we're all boys. My little brother

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Speaker 1: and I especially fought all the time. And so now

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Speaker 1: I can imagine what it's like coming home from work

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Speaker 1: and then having to sort this three ring circus out.

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Speaker 1: But my dad had to do that. My mom was

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Speaker 1: a stay at home wife, and I later on realized

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Speaker 1: years later that my mother and my father thought it

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Speaker 1: was very important for him to be the one working

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Speaker 1: outside of the home and for her to be inside

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Speaker 1: the home. And so even though my dad had what

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Speaker 1: people would call a menial job, he worked two full

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Speaker 1: time jobs. He cooked for a family on the weekend,

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Speaker 1: and he went to night school three or four nights

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Speaker 1: a week to get his ged. Now, I thought everybody's

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Speaker 1: dad went to school at night. I didn't realize that

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Speaker 1: my dad had left school when he was thirteen years old.

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Speaker 1: I didn't really realize that until we had the conversation

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Speaker 1: that caused me to write the book called Dear Father,

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Speaker 1: Dear Son. My dad put his nickels and dimes together

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Speaker 1: and he started a cafe in the sixties, and the

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Speaker 1: idea was that all of us would work in the

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Speaker 1: cafe for him. And I hated working for my dad.

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Speaker 1: The same temper that he displayed at home he had

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Speaker 1: at the cafe. In my opinion, he would get angry

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Speaker 1: for little things, trivial things, blow up at me. And

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Speaker 1: we're talking about a little diner here, so everybody in

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Speaker 1: the diner can see exactly what's going on. Could hear

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Speaker 1: the old man yelling at me, and it was embarrassing.

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Speaker 1: But I worked for him for several years. We opened

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Speaker 1: on Saturdays in those days, and I would work with

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Speaker 1: him sometimes after school, and I hated it. It was hard,

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Speaker 1: hard work. You're on your feet all the time. I

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Speaker 1: was not allowed to cook. My dad thought I was

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Speaker 1: too young to cook. Cook Always cooking always seemed fascinating

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Speaker 1: to me, but he would not let me do that.

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Speaker 1: My older brother Kirk, was able to cook every now

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Speaker 1: and then, but I was never. My job was to

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Speaker 1: take the meals that he prepared and take them to people,

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Speaker 1: and then to clean up afterwards. And so my job

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Speaker 1: was to basically do dishes, help with the mopping, and

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Speaker 1: serve people, weight on people. And I thought I was

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Speaker 1: a very very good waiter, very attentive. The goal was

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Speaker 1: never to have a customer ask for something. If they

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Speaker 1: needed more jelly, make sure that the jelly is there

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Speaker 1: before they asked for it. If they want their coffee refilled,

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Speaker 1: make sure you refill it before they asked for it.

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Speaker 1: My dad always felt that a customer should never have

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Speaker 1: to ask for something. You should anticipate what the customer wanted,

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Speaker 1: and that's what I did to a degree I thought

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Speaker 1: better than anybody else. And so when my dad yelled

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Speaker 1: at me for what he considered to be some sort

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Speaker 1: of slight, some sort of active negligence, it really really

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Speaker 1: bothered me. And the older I got, the more it

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Speaker 1: bothered me. So I'm fifteen years old and my dad

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Speaker 1: yelled at me for something. I can't remember what it was.

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Speaker 1: But what my dad would do is give you four

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Speaker 1: or five things to do in a row. And at

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Speaker 1: first I thought I should do them in the sequence

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Speaker 1: in which he gave them to me, but then I

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Speaker 1: realized that that wasn't the case. I had to do

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Speaker 1: them in the sequence that he wanted them done, which

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Speaker 1: required me to read his mind, and since I did

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Speaker 1: not have that ability, he would yell at me a lot,

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Speaker 1: especially during the rush hour that was from eleven thirty

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Speaker 1: until about one fifteen. The place would be packed standing

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Speaker 1: room only. That's how good the food was. And the

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Speaker 1: diner was in this frankly neighborhood area. My dad tore

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Speaker 1: down the house where we lived in Peco Union, and

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Speaker 1: after the area was zoned for light industrial, my dad

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Speaker 1: built a restaurant on this corner, and there were houses

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Speaker 1: across the street on either side. It was a lousy

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Speaker 1: location for a restaurant, but because the food was so good,

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Speaker 1: he was able to be successful, even thrive. But at

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Speaker 1: the age of fifteen, I had had it, and I

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Speaker 1: told myself that I'm going to walk out the next

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Speaker 1: time he yells at me. I wish I had had

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Speaker 1: the cast shoes to say, I'm going to sit down

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Speaker 1: and confront him and figure out why he's so honory,

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Speaker 1: But I was afraid of him, asking one of my brothers, fifteen,

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Speaker 1: I walked out. I'll tell you about that when I

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Speaker 1: come back. The book is called Dear Father, Dear Son.

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Speaker 1: Subtitle two Lives eight hours for reasons that I will

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Speaker 1: tell you when I come back. Triple eight nine seven

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Speaker 1: one sage eight eight eight nine seven one sage. I'm

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Speaker 1: Larry over my Pillow wants to say a heartfelt thank

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Speaker 1: you to my listeners for your continued support. To show

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Speaker 1: their appreciation, they're offering an incredible after Christmas sale with

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Speaker 1: some of the best prices they have ever had. All

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Speaker 1: get their luxurious Giza dream sheets for as low as

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Speaker 1: twenty nine ninety eight You'll also find cozy blankets, comforters,

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Speaker 1: We're talking about my last book, Dear Father, Dear Son,

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Speaker 1: Two Lives eight Hours. As I mentioned before the break,

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Speaker 1: I'll explain that some title in just a second. So

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Speaker 1: I'm fifteen years old and my dad yelled at me

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Speaker 1: for something I don't remember what it was, and I

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Speaker 1: went in the back. I took off my apron. I

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Speaker 1: set it down, and I thought long and hard about

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Speaker 1: walking out, because I knew what the consequences were going

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Speaker 1: to be. I walked out. I took the bus home.

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Speaker 1: Now keep in mind, this was a restaurant that seated

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Speaker 1: sixteen people, and during lunch hour there might be five

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Speaker 1: ten people standing lonely because they would order things to

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Speaker 1: take out. And I walked out when we did not

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Speaker 1: have a waitress at that day. Normally we had one waitress,

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Speaker 1: sometimes two with us. This time my dad and I

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Speaker 1: were alone. I can't remember why. I think maybe the

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Speaker 1: waitress had phoned in sick, so I left him with

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Speaker 1: a restaurant full of people during the height of rush hour,

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Speaker 1: not too surprisingly were my dad came home. He was furious.

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Speaker 1: Now he paid me ten dollars a day, plus tips.

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Speaker 1: He balled up the ten dollars. I was laying on

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Speaker 1: my bed just thinking about what I was going to

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Speaker 1: say to him when he came in. I decided to

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Speaker 1: be there as opposed to just going somewhere and hopefully

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Speaker 1: my dad would come home and go to sleep. I

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Speaker 1: thought about doing that, but I thought against it. I

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Speaker 1: thought I would just hear what he had to say.

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Speaker 1: And we'd have it out. So he came into my

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Speaker 1: room and he said, why did you leave? And I said,

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Speaker 1: I was sick and tired of the way you spoke

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Speaker 1: to me. And my dad took the ten dollars, he

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Speaker 1: balled it up, he threw it at me. He turned

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Speaker 1: around and he walked out. And I'm telling you, my

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Speaker 1: father and I did not have another conversation for ten years.

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Speaker 1: And when I say did not have a conversation, I

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Speaker 1: mean did not have a conversation. I mean we didn't

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Speaker 1: even say how about those rams who at the time,

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Speaker 1: we're in la or don't you think it's going to rain? Nothing?

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Speaker 1: And it was fairly easy for me to avoid talking

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Speaker 1: to him because he came home late, he got up early,

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Speaker 1: came home late, and I was able to just avoid

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Speaker 1: We had a very tiny house. I was just able

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Speaker 1: to avoid ever seeing him. And then two years later

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Speaker 1: I graduated from high school, I go away to the

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Speaker 1: East Coast to college. I then go away to the

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Speaker 1: mid Midwest to law school, and I take a job

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Speaker 1: at a law firm in Ohio. And so for all

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Speaker 1: these years, my dad and I did not speak. I

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Speaker 1: am in college four years we didn't speak I'm in

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Speaker 1: law school. Three years we didn't speak. I would come

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Speaker 1: home for summers, and I would come home for Christmas breaks,

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Speaker 1: and we still would not say a word to each other.

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Speaker 1: It was awkward sometimes, but I still had intense, intense

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Speaker 1: bitterness towards him, and I felt maybe the reverse was true,

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Speaker 1: and I really didn't much care. So I'm malpracticing law,

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Speaker 1: and I'm twenty five years ago. Ten years have now passed,

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Speaker 1: and I'm having difficulty sleeping. And I wasn't quite sure why.

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Speaker 1: I didn't call a shrink or anything like that, but

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Speaker 1: I began having dreams about him, things he said to me,

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Speaker 1: things he'd done to me that I didn't like. And

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Speaker 1: so I figured my restlessness, my inability to sleep, had

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Speaker 1: something to do with my dad. So I called my

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Speaker 1: secretary one morning and I told her to cancel all

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Speaker 1: my appointments in the next three days that I was

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Speaker 1: going to LA. I had to put out a fire. Normally,

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Speaker 1: when I come home, of course, I would call my

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Speaker 1: mom and my dad and tell them that I was

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Speaker 1: going to be there. They would greet me at the airport.

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Speaker 1: My mother would greet me at me at the airport.

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Speaker 1: My dad did not, but I didn't call. I took

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Speaker 1: a cab from the airport to my dad's cafe. He

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Speaker 1: closed at two point thirty. I got third one thirty.

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Speaker 1: I walk in with two bags, and my dad, of course,

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Speaker 1: was surprised, and I said, I want to talk to you.

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Speaker 1: He said, fine, Shall I put your bags in the back?

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Speaker 1: I said no, I'm only going to be here for

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Speaker 1: about five or ten minutes. Dad. He said, okay, wait

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Speaker 1: until we close. So I sat there for an hour

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Speaker 1: on a stool, watching him, and watching the waitress named Francine,

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Speaker 1: who'd worked for him for a very long period of time.

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Speaker 1: And I always thought it was remarkable how Francine was

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Speaker 1: not intimidated by my dad. My dad, in fact, would

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Speaker 1: defer to her, would ask her questions, would ask her

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Speaker 1: what she thought. He never did that with us, and

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Speaker 1: I wasn't sure what to make of It didn't bother

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Speaker 1: me as much as I felt that there must be

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Speaker 1: a side to him that somehow I could not figure

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Speaker 1: out the code to the combination to and she had

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Speaker 1: and she worked for him for years. And so as

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Speaker 1: I'm sitting there watching him, I'm trying to figure out

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Speaker 1: what to say. And I thought about it on the flight.

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Speaker 1: The flight almost a four and a half hour flight

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Speaker 1: from Cleveland to LA so I had plenty of time

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Speaker 1: to think about what I was going to say to him.

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Speaker 1: And what I decided that I was going to do

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Speaker 1: was to be calm, just to make sure I didn't

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Speaker 1: blow up, make sure that I told him in a calm,

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Speaker 1: even way. What it was that bothered me about him.

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Speaker 1: Why was I thought he punished it so severely. Why

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Speaker 1: it was that I became so so almost hateful towards him,

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Speaker 1: And I thought about some of the things that he

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Speaker 1: had done and said. The time we went on the

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Speaker 1: Fourth of July and there was stadium parking, so the

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Speaker 1: car was surrounded when we parked, and after we saw

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Speaker 1: all the Fourth of July fireworks, we came back of

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Speaker 1: the car, and because it was surrounded by so many cars,

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Speaker 1: my dad said he's going to take a nap, and

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Speaker 1: he put a hat on his face as he was

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Speaker 1: trying to sleep, and playfully I picked up the hat

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Speaker 1: and just looked at him, and my dad started screaming

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Speaker 1: at me for picking up the hat off his face.

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Speaker 1: This is the kind of thing that I just did

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Speaker 1: not understand. I thought about I was sitting there, I

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Speaker 1: thought about the time we went to Disneyland and my

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Speaker 1: dad went on the roller coaster and somehow got a

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Speaker 1: cook in his neck, and he was complaining the whole

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Speaker 1: time we were at Disneyland about how he couldn't move

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Speaker 1: his neck, to the point where none of us had

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Speaker 1: a good time because my dad was complaining all the time.

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Speaker 1: I thought about the time Kirk and I ran away

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Speaker 1: from home. But I ran away from home, I mean

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Speaker 1: ran away from the house and stayed on the block

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Speaker 1: because it was illegal for us to cross the street.

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Speaker 1: Kirk and I were playing in the yard. We had

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Speaker 1: not really our yard, It was just a little area

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Speaker 1: outside the house. We had no yard. This is the

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Speaker 1: house that he eventually tore down and built the restaurant on.

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Speaker 1: And we did not realize that my dad was home.

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Speaker 1: So my mom called us in to come to eat,

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Speaker 1: and we ignored her, as we often did, and she

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Speaker 1: called again. We ignored her as we often did. She

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Speaker 1: called again, We ignored her and kept playing, and then

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Speaker 1: we heard this deep baritone voice. Don't you hear your mother? Boys?

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Speaker 1: Get in here? Had no idea my father was home,

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Speaker 1: and when we came in, he gave us a whipping

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00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:13,840
Speaker 1: for disobeying or mother several times. Again, we would not

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Speaker 1: have done that had we known he was going to

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Speaker 1: be home, But because my mother was not the kind

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Speaker 1: of disciplinary and he was, we knew that whatever punishment

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00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,919
Speaker 1: she would meet out would not be very serious, so

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00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,600
Speaker 1: we kept playing. I thought about that as I was

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Speaker 1: sitting there. I thought about the time he gave me

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Speaker 1: a whipping in front of my cousin Elane. My cousin

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00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:33,159
Speaker 1: Elane from Cleveland was visiting us. I sort of had

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Speaker 1: a crush on her, and my dad gave me a

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Speaker 1: whipping for whatever reason I can't remember, in front of her.

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Speaker 1: It was embarrassing. I thought about all these kinds of

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Speaker 1: things as I was sitting there waiting for him during

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Speaker 1: that hour. But I promised myself I would be calm.

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Speaker 1: I would tell him in a very even methodical, fair

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Speaker 1: way why I thought he was such an sob. And

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Speaker 1: I figured by the time I was done with him,

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Speaker 1: he would even agree that he was an sob, and

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Speaker 1: he would apologize to me, and then I'm going to

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Speaker 1: get up, get my bags and get out. Didn't quite

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Speaker 1: work out that way. The book is called Dear Father,

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Speaker 1: Dear Son two lives eight hours. I'll explain the subtitle

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Speaker 1: when I come back. I'm Larry Elder Triple eight nine

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Speaker 1: seventy one sage Angel Tree Christmas campaign with our friends

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Speaker 1: at the nonprofit Prison Fellowship. There are literally thousands of

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Speaker 1: children all over America who have a mom or dad

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Speaker 1: in prison, meaning they will not see their parent on Christmas.

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Speaker 1: That's why Angel Tree is so important. You can put

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Speaker 1: smiles on the faces of children who, through no fault

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Speaker 1: of their own, are often struggling at a time of

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Speaker 1: year which is meant to be full of joy. There's

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Speaker 1: an Angel Tree banner up at Larryelder dot com and

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00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,080
Speaker 1: you can make a donation. It only takes thirty dollars

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Speaker 1: to bless a child who receive a special present, a

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00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:53,280
Speaker 1: gospel message, and a personal note from his or her

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Speaker 1: incarcerated parent. Again, the cost to help bless one child

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00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,639
Speaker 1: with Angel Tree is only thirty dollars. That's less than

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00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,840
Speaker 1: a large pizza and some cola, or if you're feeling generous,

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00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 1: one hundred and fifty dollars will bless five children of

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00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:08,720
Speaker 1: prisoners with an extra special Christmas. Please go to my

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00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:12,080
Speaker 1: website Larryelder dot com to make a generous gift online

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00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,240
Speaker 1: or phone or special donation number eight eight eight two

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00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,280
Speaker 1: six twenty eight fifty five. That's eight eight eight two

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00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:20,640
Speaker 1: o six two eight five five to show the love

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Speaker 1: of Christ through your donation to Angel Tree. The book

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00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,040
Speaker 1: is two hundred and forty seven pages long. You can

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00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,800
Speaker 1: literally read it in two sittings, and you can go

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00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 1: on Amazon dot com if you want. There are one

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00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,919
Speaker 1: hundred and ten reviews as of right now. That's a

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Speaker 1: boatload of reviews for a memoir, and with a few exceptions,

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Speaker 1: it gets five stars. When I say a few exceptions,

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Speaker 1: some people bought the book. You have to buy the

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00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 1: book on Amazon in order to write a review. Some

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00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:50,160
Speaker 1: people bought the book because they don't like my politics

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00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,240
Speaker 1: and trash me and call me all sorts of names

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00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:55,119
Speaker 1: and gave me one star or no stars. But you

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00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 1: can tell either he or she didn't read the book,

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Speaker 1: or they read the book only because they wanted to

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00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:02,520
Speaker 1: assault me. But anybody who read the book thinks of

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00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:06,200
Speaker 1: it as well, written, as funny, as warm, as poignant.

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying this, I'm saying this is how people

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00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,720
Speaker 1: are reviewing the book. It's gotten the best reviews of

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Speaker 1: any book I've written, and I've written four, so I'm

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00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:19,679
Speaker 1: sitting there waiting for the hour to go by. Click click, click, click,

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Speaker 1: and two thirty rolls around and my dad comes out

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Speaker 1: and sits next to me on the stool, red stool.

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Speaker 1: He's got a cup of coffee, and within arm's length

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Speaker 1: is the coffee pot, so he can from time to

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Speaker 1: time filled it up, as he did over the course

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Speaker 1: of our conversation. And despite my promising that I was

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Speaker 1: going to be calm, despite my promising I was going

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Speaker 1: to be even and not get upset and I get emotional,

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00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:53,159
Speaker 1: I was not calm. I was very emotional, and I

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Speaker 1: was very angry. And for the next ten to fifteen minutes,

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Speaker 1: I told him everything he'd ever said to me, everything

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Speaker 1: he had ever done to me, every slight, every whipping,

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Speaker 1: every indignity that I thought he subjected me to. When

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Speaker 1: I was at the cafe, and I talked NonStop for

420
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Speaker 1: about fifteen minutes. You guys know I can do that.

421
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Speaker 1: And every now and then my dad would take a

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Speaker 1: spoon and stir his coffee or get a refeel. As

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Speaker 1: I was blasting away. He didn't say a word, he

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Speaker 1: took it. And when I was finished, my dad said,

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Speaker 1: is that it? And I said pretty much. He said,

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Speaker 1: you didn't speak to me for ten years because of that,

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00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:49,320
Speaker 1: and I said pretty much. And he shook his head,

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Speaker 1: and my dad said, I have a few things to

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Speaker 1: tell you, and my dad then began to tell me

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00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:03,080
Speaker 1: about his life. I knew nothing about the man other

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00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:05,879
Speaker 1: than I knew he was born in Athens, Georgia, and

432
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 1: I knew he had no siblings because my dad never

433
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 1: ever had anybody visiting him, friend or foe. My mother

434
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:18,680
Speaker 1: had relatives everywhere. My dad was an only child. I

435
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:22,440
Speaker 1: knew that, and I assumed that his father had died.

436
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:27,919
Speaker 1: But that's about all I knew. There was almost an

437
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:32,719
Speaker 1: iron curtain around discussing anything about my father. And it

438
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,639
Speaker 1: wasn't like I was curious. I must be honest, I

439
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 1: didn't really care that much about his life in the

440
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:39,320
Speaker 1: first place. I didn't like him, so what Who cared

441
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:42,280
Speaker 1: about his life? Okay, so I figured it was a

442
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:47,400
Speaker 1: difficult life on some level, but who cared? And as

443
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:50,880
Speaker 1: my dad was speaking, it was the first of two

444
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:56,760
Speaker 1: times in my life that I saw my father cry.

445
00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:01,239
Speaker 1: He said that his mother was illiterate, and I had

446
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:04,520
Speaker 1: met his mother one time when I was visiting my mother,

447
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 1: my mother's farm in the South, and I spent maybe

448
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 1: a few hours with her, and that was the only

449
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 1: time I ever saw her, and she seemed like a

450
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,359
Speaker 1: sweet old lady. That's all I kind of knew, and

451
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:19,400
Speaker 1: that was it. I thought. I was curious that when

452
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 1: I met my paternal grandmother, she referred to my father,

453
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 1: whose name is Randolph as Ran. I never heard anybody

454
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,679
Speaker 1: call him Ran. I thought that was odd. But aside

455
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,720
Speaker 1: from that, I don't really remember that much. So my

456
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 1: dad began telling me about his life, and he said

457
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:41,000
Speaker 1: that he was an only child, which I knew his

458
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:44,520
Speaker 1: mother could neither read nor write. My father told me

459
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 1: he did not know his birth date because he was

460
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 1: not born in a hospital. He was born in the

461
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:53,199
Speaker 1: back of a room, and one of many rooms that

462
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 1: he and his mother lived in, because she was skipped

463
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,399
Speaker 1: the rent two o'clock, three o'clock in the morning and

464
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:00,359
Speaker 1: go somewhere else. My dad thought that everybody did that,

465
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:07,080
Speaker 1: And I should pause, because my dad found out that

466
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 1: the woman whom he thought was his mother was not

467
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,240
Speaker 1: his mother. He found out because some kid in the

468
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 1: neighborhood told him, and my dad went running back to

469
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:19,679
Speaker 1: his grandmother and said, some and so told me that

470
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 1: you weren't my mother, and she set him down and

471
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:24,240
Speaker 1: told him that she was not.

472
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 2: So.

473
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:26,959
Speaker 1: For the first several years, my dad was raised by

474
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 1: a woman whom he thought was his mother but really

475
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:32,639
Speaker 1: was his grandfather grandmother. His actual mother would come to

476
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 1: get him from time to time. He thought that was

477
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 1: his aunt. Anyway, he went to live with her when

478
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:40,120
Speaker 1: he's about seven years old, informed that was his mother

479
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 1: by some kid in the neighborhood. I'll tell you about

480
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:46,920
Speaker 1: his mother and how I got the name Elder when

481
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:52,360
Speaker 1: we come back. Two lives, eight hours. Dear Father, dear Son,

482
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:55,680
Speaker 1: I'm Larry Older. The number is eight eight eight nine

483
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,440
Speaker 1: seven to one Sage Special edition of a Larioba show

484
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:12,640
Speaker 1: about my book, Dear Father, Dear Son. So, my dad

485
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:18,240
Speaker 1: said that he never knew his biological father. His mother

486
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 1: had a series of boyfriends, and one boyfriend that was

487
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,520
Speaker 1: in the life the longest was a man named Elder.

488
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 1: Elder was an alcoholic, my dad said, who sometimes worked,

489
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,040
Speaker 1: and when he did work, he would bring his money

490
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 1: home to Dad's mother for safekeeping because he knew he

491
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 1: was irresponsible and would drink it away. So come Tuesday

492
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:41,960
Speaker 1: he'd want a drink and he would go to her

493
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 1: to get the money, and she would not give him

494
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 1: the money and remind him that he had given it

495
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 1: to her for safekeeping, and he insisted she refused, he

496
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:52,480
Speaker 1: would hit her. She would still refuse, he would beat her,

497
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,080
Speaker 1: and my dad said this happened over and over again.

498
00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:58,639
Speaker 1: He said, on one occasion he intervened and he was

499
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:03,639
Speaker 1: beaten too. So my dad is now fast forward thirteen

500
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 1: years old, and he came home and he was making

501
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 1: too much noise for his mother's then boyfriend. The elder

502
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:15,720
Speaker 1: was long gone, and his mother sided with the boyfriend

503
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 1: and threw my father out of the house at age thirteen.

504
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 1: We're talking about a black boy in the Jim Crow South,

505
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 1: Great Depression, no money and he literally just goes to

506
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,919
Speaker 1: the nearest house and asks can I do anything? And

507
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,879
Speaker 1: eventually somebody gives him the yard work, and from that

508
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:39,159
Speaker 1: he gets a job as a shoeshine boy. From that,

509
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 1: he gets a job as a hotel valet. From that,

510
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:44,320
Speaker 1: he begins to cook for a private family and started

511
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:46,359
Speaker 1: getting pretty good at it, to the point where he

512
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,719
Speaker 1: asked for more money. And when the lady wouldn't give

513
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 1: him more money, he goes to somebody else. Because his

514
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 1: reputation was beginning to become that of a good cook.

515
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 1: My dad applied for a job with the Pullman Porters.

516
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:05,680
Speaker 1: There was a PBS special on the Pullman Porters years back,

517
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:09,879
Speaker 1: called Miles of Smiles, and it was about how the

518
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,840
Speaker 1: Pullman Porters were the largest private employer of blacks in

519
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 1: those days, and to get a job was a big,

520
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:21,120
Speaker 1: big deal. There were PhDs who were Pullman porters, let

521
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 1: alone people that left school when they were thirteen years old.

522
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 1: And so my dad got that job, and unlike virtually

523
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:29,680
Speaker 1: any other black boy in the South, he was able

524
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,440
Speaker 1: to travel around the country as a result, and came

525
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:36,359
Speaker 1: to California one time in the thirties, and it was

526
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 1: such a warmer place, sunnier place, and people seemed friendlier

527
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,960
Speaker 1: and they seemed less racist, and my dad made a

528
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 1: mental note that maybe after some time he might reokay

529
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 1: to California. Well, Pearl Harbor, my dad joins the Marines,

530
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:56,360
Speaker 1: and I asked him why the Marines. He said two reasons.

531
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 1: I liked the uniform and they went were they act

532
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 1: was and they did my dad was stationed on the

533
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 1: island of Guam as we prepared for the invasion of Japan,

534
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,400
Speaker 1: and invasion that we thought was inevitable because Japan would

535
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 1: not surrender. My dad was a cook. He soon became

536
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,280
Speaker 1: a sergeant. I found out after he died. My dad

537
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:18,760
Speaker 1: didn't even tell me as I was writing the book.

538
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 1: He became a staff sergeant, which meant he was a

539
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:24,160
Speaker 1: leader and a marksman and somebody who could motivate other men.

540
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 1: And even by the accelerated standards of the Second World War,

541
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 1: my dad became staff sergeant in warp speed. That's how

542
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 1: good he was. And he was a cook, and soon

543
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:40,160
Speaker 1: he was in charge of the cooking facilities. And when

544
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 1: the war was over, he returned to Chattanooga where he

545
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:49,480
Speaker 1: had met my mother and they married. And my dad,

546
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 1: having all this experience now as a cook, went to

547
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 1: restaurant to restaurant to restaurant to get a job as

548
00:29:56,400 --> 00:30:00,240
Speaker 1: a cook, and he was told to his face, we

549
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 1: don't hire niggers here. My dad said, he went to

550
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 1: an unemployment office and the woman said, you went through

551
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:09,880
Speaker 1: the wrong door, and told him to go out in

552
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,000
Speaker 1: the hall come back through the right door. My dad

553
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 1: went out in the hall, looked up and there was

554
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 1: a colored only sign over the second door. He went

555
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 1: through that second door, back of the very same woman

556
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 1: who sent him out. My dad came home to my

557
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:24,480
Speaker 1: mother and said, this is BS. I'm going to California.

558
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 1: I'll get a job in two days and I'll send

559
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 1: for you. So my dad comes out to California. Now

560
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:33,480
Speaker 1: we're talking about forty six forty five, and he walks

561
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 1: around the city and nobody will give him a job

562
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 1: as a cook. He is told, you don't have any references,

563
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 1: which was California's way of saying the same thing as

564
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 1: he was told in Chattanooga. They just did it in

565
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:49,640
Speaker 1: a more shon till way. My dad went to anunemployment office,

566
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 1: this time just one door. They had nothing. My dad

567
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:54,560
Speaker 1: asked the one what time do you open? She said

568
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 1: eight thirty. What time do you close? She said five.

569
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 1: My dad said, I will be here at eight thirty.

570
00:30:58,200 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 1: I will be here at five till you find something.

571
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 1: She said fine. My dad sat in that one chair

572
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 1: for a day and a half. Finally the lady calls

573
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 1: him up and she says, I have something for you.

574
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 1: I doubt that you'll take it. My dad says, I

575
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,000
Speaker 1: don't know what it is, but I'm sure i'll take it.

576
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 1: What is it, she said, it's a job with Nobisco Breads.

577
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 1: She'll be cleaning toilets. My dad said fine. He worked

578
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 1: at Nibisco for almost ten years cleaning toilets, and took

579
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 1: a second job with another bread company called Barbara and Bread,

580
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 1: also cleaning toilets and cooking for a family occasionally on

581
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,960
Speaker 1: the weekends to earn extra money, and going to night

582
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 1: school a couple of nights a week. So the man

583
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,960
Speaker 1: probably averaged about four four and a half hours asleep

584
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 1: four years. No wonder he was so cranky, No wonder

585
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:48,600
Speaker 1: he was so grouchy. I know how I get when

586
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 1: I've only had five or six hours of sleep'll let

587
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 1: alone four year after year after year after year. My

588
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:01,600
Speaker 1: dad told me lots of stories about some of the

589
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:09,600
Speaker 1: jobs he had, and he morphed from this cold, austere,

590
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 1: hard man to this kind, caring, warm, empathetic human being

591
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,360
Speaker 1: over the course of the eight hours. If we sat

592
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 1: there and my dad said, when I would ask him,

593
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:26,680
Speaker 1: why aren't you angry? Why aren't you bitter? My dad

594
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 1: thought it was an insane question. He said, life is

595
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 1: so much better than it was. Then I have my

596
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 1: own business, I raised a family, and the country's different

597
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 1: from what it used to be. Why should I be angry?

598
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 1: And he reiterated something he used to tell us. Hard

599
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 1: work wins you get out of life which you put

600
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,960
Speaker 1: into it. Before you complain about how bad things are,

601
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:55,200
Speaker 1: go to the nearest mirror, look in front of it

602
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 1: and say to yourself, could I have done something better

603
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 1: to have changed the outcome? And he said, no matter

604
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 1: how hard you work, no matter how good you are,

605
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 1: no matter how prepared you are, bad things will happen.

606
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:11,160
Speaker 1: How you react with those bad things will tell me

607
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 1: and your mother whether or not we raised a man.

608
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:22,440
Speaker 1: Where a guy we come back, I'll tell you some

609
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,120
Speaker 1: of the jobs he had and some of his experiences,

610
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,280
Speaker 1: because during the next eight hours he told me about

611
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:32,080
Speaker 1: his life, and I told him about mine. And then

612
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 1: he wrote me a letter and started out, dear son,

613
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:40,880
Speaker 1: and I replied, dear father. That's why the book is

614
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:48,840
Speaker 1: called dear Father, dear Son. Two lives eight hours nor

615
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 1: Santa's close. My name is Banchito. I write in for

616
00:33:54,960 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: my sister, she named Mesna to see my dad and

617
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:06,840
Speaker 1: I then began talking about his experiences, and I would

618
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 1: ask him question after question after question after question. I

619
00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:16,160
Speaker 1: mentioned earlier that I saw my dad cry for the

620
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:19,200
Speaker 1: first of two times, and it was when he was

621
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 1: describing his quote father close, quote elder. The man who

622
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 1: was an alcoholic could beat his mother when she would

623
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:29,319
Speaker 1: not give him the money that he had given her

624
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:34,320
Speaker 1: for safekeeping. And my father said he would use his fists,

625
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,680
Speaker 1: he would use anything that he could find nearby and

626
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 1: hit my dad with it on the face, in the neck,

627
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 1: on the head. And it occurred to me that when

628
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 1: my dad used the belt to whip us, he thought

629
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 1: he was being kinder and gentler, He thought he was

630
00:34:56,680 --> 00:35:01,799
Speaker 1: being progressive. And it was at that moment that I

631
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 1: forgave him. I was even embarrassed for thinking that he

632
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:09,479
Speaker 1: was too harsh. Remember, during the Great Depression, twenty five

633
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 1: percent of Americans were unemployed, fifty percent of blacks were unemployed.

634
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 1: It was that tough. And this is a war hardened

635
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:24,080
Speaker 1: group of people, the generation that Tom Roclaw calls the

636
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 1: Greatest Generation. And so many men came up to me

637
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 1: and told me that they had reconciled with their father,

638
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 1: had a similar story, or that they had not reconciled

639
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 1: with their father, and how much they regretted, and the

640
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 1: reasons that they disliked their fathers were the same reasons

641
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 1: that I disliked mine. They thought they were too harsh,

642
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: thought they were too cruel, thought they were too quick

643
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 1: to anger, too thin skinned, completely oblivious to or unappreciative

644
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:54,759
Speaker 1: of the experiences the Great Depression experience in the World

645
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 1: War II experience that had gone through that hardened them,

646
00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:01,920
Speaker 1: that made them this way. As I look back at

647
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:04,719
Speaker 1: my neighborhood where I grew up, because after we left

648
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 1: Pico Union, we moved to south central Los Angeles, we

649
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 1: were with a second black family on the block. Within

650
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:17,439
Speaker 1: within just a few years, virtually every white person moved

651
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:21,640
Speaker 1: out to be replaced with families not unlike ours, where

652
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 1: there was a World War Two veteran dad who was harsh,

653
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:29,000
Speaker 1: and my fellow buddies that I ran around with all

654
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:35,359
Speaker 1: thought their father were hard to Dear Father, Dear Son

655
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:37,840
Speaker 1: is a two hundred and forty seven page apology to

656
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:41,400
Speaker 1: a man who, by the way, never left my mom,

657
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:45,640
Speaker 1: never drunk, never raised his hand against her, always came home,

658
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:51,000
Speaker 1: always paid the bills. And when I was writing the book,

659
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 1: my Dad would often say to me, why are you

660
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:56,920
Speaker 1: writing something about my little life? And I would say

661
00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:58,720
Speaker 1: the same thing over and over again, Dad, your life

662
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:03,800
Speaker 1: wasn't little. Your life was epic. Your life is about America.

663
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 1: Your life is about this country. And you'll see people

664
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 1: have asked me your dad live to see the book.

665
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:12,840
Speaker 1: He lived to see the book get finished. He did

666
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 1: not live to see the book published, but he did

667
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 1: live to see it finished. I'm Larry Elder more about

668
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 1: dear Father, dear Son eight eight eight nine seventy one

669
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:35,719
Speaker 1: Sage Special Edition, Father dear Son two Lives eight Hours.

670
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:43,320
Speaker 1: To quote Joe Biden, Merry Christmas, y'all enjoy this Christmas

671
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:46,920
Speaker 1: presentation of dear Father dear Son two Lives eight Hours.

672
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:52,359
Speaker 1: Larry Elder here and we continue my story about dear

673
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,840
Speaker 1: father dear Son two Lives eight Hours. My last book

674
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 1: about my relationship with my father. Now, I mentioned that

675
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,160
Speaker 1: my dad joined the Marines. What I have not yet

676
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:05,680
Speaker 1: talked about is the fact that he was a Monford

677
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:11,040
Speaker 1: Point Marine n Tford Monford Point Marine. They were the

678
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:14,239
Speaker 1: first black Marines. There were twenty thousand of them from

679
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 1: nineteen forty two to nineteen forty seven and a few

680
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 1: years ago, Congress granted these Monford Point Marines a Congressional

681
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,839
Speaker 1: Gold Medal, the highest civilian honor that Congress could give.

682
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 1: My dad was too weak to attend the ceremony, and

683
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:34,400
Speaker 1: after my dad died, a chief of staff of Congressman

684
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:40,239
Speaker 1: Dana Orbacher, whose name is Kathleen Staunton, suggested that she

685
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:45,239
Speaker 1: could arrange to have an award ceremony posthumously for my dad,

686
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:49,120
Speaker 1: and she worked tirelessly to set it up, and at

687
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 1: Camp Pendleton, my dad was awarded a Congressional Gold Medal

688
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:58,839
Speaker 1: posthumously by Colonel Jason Bohmee. Congressman Warbocker spoke, and then

689
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 1: Congressman and then Colonel Jason Bom spoke, And here is

690
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 1: what happened.

691
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 3: Ladies and gentlemen, commanding off the fIF Marine Regiment, Colonel Jason.

692
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:19,759
Speaker 4: Bam, Congressman Robalker, General Colonies, General Monday, members of the

693
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:24,279
Speaker 4: Elder family, members of the Mocker Point Marine Association, the

694
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:29,239
Speaker 4: First Marine Division Association, Data Points Support Group, fellow commanders,

695
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 4: Sergeant major, Marines, and sailors.

696
00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:35,840
Speaker 3: We are honored that you joined us today to recognize

697
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 3: the service of one of our own staff.

698
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 2: Stardant Randolph Elder.

699
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 3: It is appropriate that we hold this ceremony here on

700
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:46,960
Speaker 3: the hollowed ground in which the fight a fifth Marines

701
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 3: memorializes the service and the sacrifice of our brothers in Arnor.

702
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 3: I use the word brothers because that's what we are.

703
00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:00,919
Speaker 3: The Marine Corps is a family. Our model of simper

704
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:05,719
Speaker 3: fidelis are always faithful to our God, to our country,

705
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:09,799
Speaker 3: and to our core creed to bond that nothing considered.

706
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:14,560
Speaker 3: So just as we remember those of this fine regiment

707
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:18,759
Speaker 3: fell in battle, we also remember all of those who

708
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:21,680
Speaker 3: once wore the ego globe and anchored.

709
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:25,800
Speaker 2: Staffsarn Elder was one of these men. He was our brother.

710
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:28,479
Speaker 2: But it wasn't always this way.

711
00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:32,759
Speaker 3: In the days leading up to World War Two, the

712
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 3: United States was a segregated society in which the African

713
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:42,600
Speaker 3: American community cased bigotry, racial prejudice, and discrimination. It was

714
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:45,680
Speaker 3: not until June twenty fifth and nineteen forty one, just

715
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:48,680
Speaker 3: five months before the bombing of Pearl Harbor thrust us

716
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 3: into the Second World War, that.

717
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:52,160
Speaker 2: President Franklin D.

718
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:56,600
Speaker 3: Roosevelt issued an Executive Order Number eighty eight O two

719
00:40:57,239 --> 00:41:00,600
Speaker 3: and first opened the door for African Americans to serve

720
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:04,840
Speaker 3: in all branches of the armed services, he stated, and

721
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 3: affirming the policy of full participation in the defense program

722
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 3: by all persons, regardless of color, race, creed, or national origin.

723
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:18,680
Speaker 3: All departments of the government, including the Armed Forces, shall

724
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:22,280
Speaker 3: lead the way in a race and discrimination over color

725
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:22,760
Speaker 3: and race.

726
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 2: But even with this direction, the.

727
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,399
Speaker 3: Marine Corps was slowed to embrace bringing African Americans into

728
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 3: its ranks. In fact, many doubted whether the Americans would

729
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 3: meet the high standards that the Marine Corps was known for.

730
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:40,719
Speaker 3: There was little doubt about how some of the Marine

731
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:44,279
Speaker 3: Corps felt about accepting these men into the corps when

732
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:48,080
Speaker 3: the commandant at the time stated, the Negro race has

733
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 3: every opportunity now to satisfy its aspirations for combat in

734
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:55,759
Speaker 3: the army, a very much larger organization than the Navy

735
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:58,720
Speaker 3: or Marine Corps, and their desire to enter the Naval

736
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:02,360
Speaker 3: service is largely, I think, to break into a club

737
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:08,239
Speaker 3: that doesn't want them. Regardless of the commandants protest, our

738
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:12,480
Speaker 3: nation civilian leadership saw the need for equity and allowing

739
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:16,480
Speaker 3: Americans and African Americans to serve proudly in the nation's

740
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:20,319
Speaker 3: naval service, and announced in April nineteen forty two that

741
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 3: a battalion of nine hundred African Americans would be formed

742
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:25,800
Speaker 3: in the Marine Corps.

743
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:27,560
Speaker 2: Once suitable training.

744
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,840
Speaker 3: Sites were established, the battalion would be organized into a

745
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 3: composite defense battalion consistent of coastal artillery, anti aircraft, artillery, tanks,

746
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:41,440
Speaker 3: and infantry to defend overseas bases like those of Waite,

747
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:45,320
Speaker 3: Johnson and Midway Islands that had already seen action against

748
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:48,200
Speaker 3: Japanese forces in the Open and Southos of World War II.

749
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 3: But before the battalion could be formed, it first needed

750
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:54,760
Speaker 3: a place to train and recruits to fill its ranks.

751
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:58,359
Speaker 2: The site chosen to train the first.

752
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:01,760
Speaker 3: African American Marines was a rugged and heavily wooded area

753
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 3: five and a half acres large at a site near Jacksonville.

754
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:08,840
Speaker 2: North Carolina called Manker Point.

755
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 3: Monfer Point was located near a sprawling area near the

756
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 3: New River that would soon become known as Camp Lejourne,

757
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:19,800
Speaker 3: the major East Coast combat training site for Fleet MA

758
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 3: Rene forces at the time and still today. The first

759
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:26,360
Speaker 3: recruits were used to build the now famous camp of

760
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:29,880
Speaker 3: wooded huts so others could follow and begin their training.

761
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:33,320
Speaker 3: Soon they would all be brave in a variety of threats,

762
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:35,280
Speaker 3: ranging from the swagger.

763
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:37,600
Speaker 2: Sticks of tough drill instructors.

764
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:40,280
Speaker 3: To the snakes, mosquitoes, and bears that inhabited the area.

765
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:44,680
Speaker 3: As the camp was built, the call went out and

766
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:49,520
Speaker 3: the country's African American communities responded. Recruits started piling in

767
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:52,360
Speaker 3: from the north and from the South, from all walks

768
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:55,800
Speaker 3: of life. They came for different reasons. Some wanted the

769
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:59,040
Speaker 3: challenge of being a marine, some wanted to earn a living,

770
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 3: but they all came to serve their country honorably, regardless

771
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 3: of still being treated like second class citizens. Randolph Elder

772
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:11,799
Speaker 3: was one of these men. We are honored to be

773
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 3: joined this morning by Larry and Kirk Elder, the statsarn Elders,

774
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 3: two surviving sons, and their families. Randolph Elder was born

775
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 3: in Athens, Georgia, in nineteen fifteen, and he grew up

776
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:25,239
Speaker 3: during the Great Depression.

777
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:27,240
Speaker 2: He would work a number.

778
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:30,279
Speaker 3: Of odd jobs, such as it being a bellboy, a

779
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:33,920
Speaker 3: shoe shiner, a ballet and a cook, and before becoming

780
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:35,960
Speaker 3: a porter on the railroad.

781
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 2: And getting his first taste of California.

782
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:41,239
Speaker 3: Like many Americans at the outbreak of World War Two,

783
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 3: Randolph Elder chose to serve his country, but he wouldn't

784
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:48,120
Speaker 3: settle for any service. He wanted to be one of

785
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:52,280
Speaker 3: the best, although he knew it would be challenging. Randolph

786
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:54,600
Speaker 3: enisted in the Marine Corps and would be sent to

787
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:57,920
Speaker 3: Mafer Point, where he would earn the title of Marine.

788
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 3: Based on past job experience, Private Elder at the time

789
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:05,520
Speaker 3: was made a cook, a job critically important to the

790
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:08,719
Speaker 3: Marine Corps. Of course, any marine will tell you that

791
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:10,960
Speaker 3: there are two things you don't mess with with a marine,

792
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:14,880
Speaker 3: his pay and his child. Living up to the ethos

793
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,600
Speaker 3: of the corps. Of every marine or rifleman and a fighter,

794
00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:20,479
Speaker 3: regardless of what their primary job is.

795
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 2: Private Elder was trained for combat.

796
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 3: And was sent overseas to the Pacific Theater to prepare

797
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:29,440
Speaker 3: for the expected invasion of Japan. He would spend his

798
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:32,239
Speaker 3: time in the Pacific on the island of Guam and

799
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:35,840
Speaker 3: performed so well he was promoted four times, attaining the

800
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:39,319
Speaker 3: rank of staff's argument. Like many veterans, following the end

801
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:42,360
Speaker 3: of the war, Randolph Elder was challenged to find work,

802
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:47,360
Speaker 3: but the perseverance, work ethic, and commitment to excellence that

803
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:50,480
Speaker 3: he learned growing up during the depression and as a

804
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 3: marine would lead to him eventually opening up his own

805
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 3: restaurant in the Peaco Union area of Los Angeles. He

806
00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:01,240
Speaker 3: would faithfully run the Elder Snack Are for thirty years,

807
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 3: raising a family in the process and instill in many

808
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 3: of the values he learned as a marine into his sons.

809
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:11,600
Speaker 3: Having gone through a time of racism and bigotry, Randolph

810
00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:16,319
Speaker 3: Elder overcame. He would raise his sons to understand that

811
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:19,640
Speaker 3: the sky is the limit and they should follow their dreams.

812
00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 3: But his legacy goes beyond that of his immediate family.

813
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:28,880
Speaker 3: The hard work, superior performance and professionalism of staffs are

814
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:32,560
Speaker 3: An Elder and his fellow Mofer Point Marines broke down

815
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:35,600
Speaker 3: the barriers and opened the doors of future generations of

816
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:39,919
Speaker 3: African Americans, resulting in the Marine Corps today, in which

817
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:42,160
Speaker 3: one is judged on the value they bring to the

818
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:47,400
Speaker 3: table and not by their race, color, or gender, as

819
00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:49,799
Speaker 3: is evident by two of our leaders here in the

820
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:54,080
Speaker 3: Fifth Marines today, Sergeant Major Lonnie Travis, the Sergeant Major

821
00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:57,560
Speaker 3: and senior Elicited Advisor of second Battalion, Fifth Marines, and

822
00:46:57,680 --> 00:47:01,240
Speaker 3: Captain Aaron Brush, the command and Officer of Provo company,

823
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:03,080
Speaker 3: first Italian Fit Marines.

824
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:07,680
Speaker 2: Just over one year ago, thanks.

825
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:11,360
Speaker 3: To the tireless efforts of our current Commandante, General James

826
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:15,840
Speaker 3: Amis and Congressman Corren Brown from Florida, the United States

827
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:20,080
Speaker 3: Congress bestowed the Congressional Gold Medal, the highest civilian award

828
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:23,440
Speaker 3: that could be awarded for an outstanding deed for active

829
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:28,400
Speaker 3: service to the security, prosperity, and national interests in the

830
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:30,880
Speaker 3: United States, to the mocker Point Marines.

831
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:36,200
Speaker 1: This is Larry Elder Special Edition, Dear Father, de your

832
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:51,239
Speaker 1: son two lives eight hours. Enjoy this Christmas presentation of

833
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:54,000
Speaker 1: dear father, dear son two lives eight.

834
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:58,200
Speaker 3: Hours in Washington, and we're recognized as a separate ceremony

835
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:03,880
Speaker 3: held at the US Capital. Unfortunately, Staff Sarnelder was unable

836
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:06,440
Speaker 3: to attend, as he passed.

837
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:08,240
Speaker 2: Just one year prior to these events.

838
00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:12,880
Speaker 3: Yet we honor his service today in presenting the Congressional

839
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:15,479
Speaker 3: Gold Medal to his sons Larry and Kirk.

840
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:22,680
Speaker 1: That was Colonel Jason Baum August thirteen, killing August sixteen,

841
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:26,960
Speaker 1: twenty thirteen, in which he awarded my dad posthumously he

842
00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:30,000
Speaker 1: was Congressional Gold Medal. My brother and I were both

843
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:32,400
Speaker 1: there with really quite a moving ceremony. There were one

844
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:37,279
Speaker 1: hundred and twenty five marines in full dress there, all

845
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 1: for my dad. I can only imagine what he would

846
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:43,759
Speaker 1: have said. Recall, as I was writing this book about him,

847
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:47,080
Speaker 1: he kept saying, why do you care about my little life?

848
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:50,240
Speaker 1: Can you imagine what he would have said? One hundred

849
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:57,320
Speaker 1: and twenty five young strong marines saluting his life, awarding

850
00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:01,360
Speaker 1: him a posthumous gold medal was absolutely amazing, and I

851
00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:03,920
Speaker 1: want to again thank Kathleen Staunton, the chief of staff

852
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:09,320
Speaker 1: of Congressman Dana Dana Robroker himself spoke as well, for

853
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 1: arranging the ceremony. It was so moving and so powerful,

854
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:18,600
Speaker 1: and I could not be more proud. I learned something

855
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:21,319
Speaker 1: when I was sitting there listening to the ceremony about

856
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 1: how often my dad had been promoted. I knew that

857
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:25,560
Speaker 1: he'd been a staff sergeant. I didn't realize he'd promoted

858
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:30,279
Speaker 1: four times. And speaking of learning something, when my dad died,

859
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:32,160
Speaker 1: a friend of mine who was an officer with the

860
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:36,080
Speaker 1: LAPD named Joseph Bezak, who was also a marine, served

861
00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:41,600
Speaker 1: in a desert storm. I believe it was he reigned

862
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:45,319
Speaker 1: for my dad to have a marine burial, and we

863
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:49,479
Speaker 1: had a service at Forest Lawn in Hollywood. And when

864
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:51,799
Speaker 1: Joseph did a little bit of research, a little bit

865
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:54,560
Speaker 1: of background on my dad, he told me that my

866
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 1: dad was a staff sergeant. Now I've never served. My

867
00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 1: brother this have served, but I never served, and I

868
00:50:02,239 --> 00:50:04,000
Speaker 1: did not know what a staff sergeant was. And I

869
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 1: think I mentioned this before. Joseph said that even though

870
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 1: promotions were really really fast during the Second World War,

871
00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:13,719
Speaker 1: the fact that your dad became a staff sergeant in

872
00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:17,080
Speaker 1: a matter of maybe eleven months, he said, that's warp speed,

873
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:21,840
Speaker 1: and it shows you what a devil dog he was.

874
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:24,040
Speaker 1: Devil dog is a term that people use for marines.

875
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:28,279
Speaker 1: My dad never mentioned it, and it's not in the

876
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:31,120
Speaker 1: book because I finished the book before I found out

877
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:34,279
Speaker 1: that he had been a staff sergeant, let alone that

878
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:40,880
Speaker 1: he'd been promoted four times. There's something else too that

879
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:44,840
Speaker 1: I need to tell you about my reconciliation with my father.

880
00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:53,080
Speaker 1: When I attended law school in Michigan, I was recruited

881
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:58,239
Speaker 1: by a law firm in Cleveland, Ohio. And I've been

882
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:01,279
Speaker 1: to Cleveland one or two times before because I have

883
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:04,959
Speaker 1: an uncle who lives there, but I knew nothing about

884
00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:08,359
Speaker 1: the city. Although this law firms a very big law firm,

885
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:13,239
Speaker 1: now one of the largest in the country, and they

886
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 1: offered me way more money than the lada's office was

887
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:19,040
Speaker 1: offering where I had summer clerk and intended to work

888
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:21,800
Speaker 1: full time. So I figured I would maybe go to

889
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:25,440
Speaker 1: Cleveland for a couple of years and then transfer to

890
00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:29,480
Speaker 1: maybe another law firm or rejoin the La County DA's

891
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:32,879
Speaker 1: office after a couple of years, I contacted the La

892
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:34,480
Speaker 1: County DA people and told them that I was going

893
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:36,759
Speaker 1: to take this job with a law firm and would

894
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:38,600
Speaker 1: I not be able to reapply to get my job

895
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:42,400
Speaker 1: back again where I had summer clerk. They were very

896
00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:44,640
Speaker 1: happy with me, and they made me an offer, and

897
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:47,000
Speaker 1: they said, we can't guarantee, but certainly if you want

898
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:50,839
Speaker 1: to reapply, you'll have a good shot at becoming an

899
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:54,279
Speaker 1: La County DA. So that was sort of my game plan.

900
00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:56,959
Speaker 1: Keep in mind, I had not yet reconciled with my dad.

901
00:51:58,440 --> 00:52:03,000
Speaker 1: So I go to Cleveland and I visit my uncle

902
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:08,480
Speaker 1: or I really didn't know. He's my mother's youngest brother,

903
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:13,240
Speaker 1: and one of the many things he told me Thurman,

904
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:17,440
Speaker 1: was that he roomed with my dad before my dad

905
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:22,440
Speaker 1: met his sister, I said, get out of here. I

906
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:25,880
Speaker 1: mentioned earlier than my dad has no relatives. When the

907
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:28,080
Speaker 1: phone would ring at the house, the phone would always

908
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:31,040
Speaker 1: be for my mom, unless maybe somebody broke into the cafe,

909
00:52:31,200 --> 00:52:33,399
Speaker 1: in which case the phone call would be for my dad.

910
00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:36,280
Speaker 1: So the cafe was broken into a couple of times

911
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:39,719
Speaker 1: outside of that, when the phone rang, rest assured it

912
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:41,920
Speaker 1: was not for my dad, because my dad had no

913
00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 1: buddies who came by the house, had no relatives who

914
00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:50,040
Speaker 1: would call from time to time, and I never knew

915
00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:56,240
Speaker 1: anybody who knew my dad before my dad met my mom.

916
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:58,759
Speaker 1: And I told Thurman some of the things that I

917
00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:01,400
Speaker 1: write about early in the book, about the whippings, and

918
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:04,239
Speaker 1: about how cold I thought my dad was, how mean

919
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:06,919
Speaker 1: I thought he was, how I thought he really didn't

920
00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:10,160
Speaker 1: love us because of his attitude, how thin skinned he was,

921
00:53:10,239 --> 00:53:12,960
Speaker 1: how hair triggered he was. And I would tell Thurman

922
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:15,600
Speaker 1: these kinds of things over the first several months that

923
00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:21,360
Speaker 1: he and I were kind of getting acquainted, and Thurman said,

924
00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:25,319
Speaker 1: I think you are misjudging this man. He said, I

925
00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:28,520
Speaker 1: probably know him better than you do, and he's nothing

926
00:53:28,840 --> 00:53:31,600
Speaker 1: like what you say. And I kind of ignored it

927
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:34,279
Speaker 1: because I felt that Thurman was simply trying to negotiate

928
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:37,280
Speaker 1: some sort of rap pochement with me and my dad,

929
00:53:38,920 --> 00:53:41,200
Speaker 1: with my dad and me, and I really wasn't hearing

930
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:44,040
Speaker 1: it because I was still very angry towards him. But

931
00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:46,319
Speaker 1: little by little Thurman would tell me things about him,

932
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:50,719
Speaker 1: things that they did together. Thinks my father said, thinks

933
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:55,360
Speaker 1: my father believed in, and little by little, a portrait

934
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:57,840
Speaker 1: of a man I didn't know began to be painted.

935
00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 1: I still did not think that my dad and I

936
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:03,719
Speaker 1: would ever reconcile, but I began to realize that my

937
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:05,719
Speaker 1: dad was a lot more complicated than I thought he was.

938
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:10,640
Speaker 1: And Thurman, for example, told me that my dad was

939
00:54:10,719 --> 00:54:15,000
Speaker 1: always always loyal to his friends. He was always fair,

940
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 1: he always saved his money, he always had money when

941
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:23,640
Speaker 1: nobody else had any money. He was always working, He

942
00:54:23,680 --> 00:54:27,880
Speaker 1: always got up early, he stayed late. He said, your

943
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:31,200
Speaker 1: dad didn't play, which was an expression meaning he took

944
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:35,040
Speaker 1: care of business. And when I told him about the whippings,

945
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:39,120
Speaker 1: Thurmann seemed to be kind of indifferent towards it, because

946
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:42,920
Speaker 1: he was similarly a whip when he grew up and

947
00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:46,880
Speaker 1: did not think all that much of it. And I

948
00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:48,920
Speaker 1: think when I told you earlier that I began to

949
00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:51,400
Speaker 1: have difficulty sleeping, it was because of my conversations with

950
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:54,720
Speaker 1: Thurman that caused me to begin to reconsider my attitude

951
00:54:54,719 --> 00:54:56,560
Speaker 1: towards my dad to the point where I had difficulty

952
00:54:56,600 --> 00:54:58,840
Speaker 1: sleeping again, not to the point where I thought my

953
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:03,240
Speaker 1: Dad and I would suddenly become buddies, But because of Thurman,

954
00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:07,120
Speaker 1: I began to rethink maybe how I felt about him,

955
00:55:07,120 --> 00:55:09,520
Speaker 1: and at least began to have a plan so that

956
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:11,160
Speaker 1: my dad and I would clear the air. And again

957
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:12,680
Speaker 1: I thought clearing the air would be a five or

958
00:55:12,680 --> 00:55:15,680
Speaker 1: ten minute conversation in which I would enumerate the bad

959
00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:17,360
Speaker 1: things I thought he had done to me, and he

960
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:19,480
Speaker 1: probably would consider me to be ungrateful with the way

961
00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:22,520
Speaker 1: he did when he came home from me walking out

962
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:24,319
Speaker 1: of the restaurant and throwing the ten dollars at me.

963
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,120
Speaker 1: But at least we would put on the table how

964
00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:31,440
Speaker 1: we felt. And so I write about my relationship with

965
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:34,040
Speaker 1: Thurman in the book, and that had I not gone

966
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:38,560
Speaker 1: to Cleveland, and had Thurman, my mother's youngest brother, not

967
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:40,960
Speaker 1: lived there, and had Thurman and I not had the

968
00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:43,560
Speaker 1: number of conversations that we had sometimes long into the night.

969
00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:46,720
Speaker 1: I don't know that I would have reconciled with my father,

970
00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:49,120
Speaker 1: and certainly I know that I would not have reconciled

971
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:51,239
Speaker 1: with him when I did at the age of twenty five,

972
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:58,720
Speaker 1: which gave us decades decades of friendship. This is Larry

973
00:55:58,719 --> 00:56:01,960
Speaker 1: elder Especial Edition of Deer Father, Dear Son, Two Lives

974
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:09,960
Speaker 1: Eight Hours and again the book is available on Amazon

975
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:12,920
Speaker 1: dot com or on Elderstatement dot Com. You go on

976
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:14,719
Speaker 1: Elder Statement, you'll see all four of my books. Just

977
00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:17,120
Speaker 1: click it on and it'll lead you to Amazon dot

978
00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:22,120
Speaker 1: Com Special Edition Dear Father, Dear Son, Two Lives Eight Hours.

979
00:56:27,239 --> 00:56:29,920
Speaker 1: As I mentioned, the conversation I anticipated would last no

980
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:33,320
Speaker 1: more than five or ten minutes. Instead it lasted eight hours.

981
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:35,759
Speaker 1: And during the course of the book, I talk about

982
00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:37,359
Speaker 1: how when my dad and I were sitting in these

983
00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:42,160
Speaker 1: two stools during the course of the eight hours, people

984
00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:44,600
Speaker 1: would come up to the window and knock on the

985
00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:48,680
Speaker 1: window because the restaurant didn't stay open so late, and

986
00:56:48,719 --> 00:56:52,200
Speaker 1: people wondered whether or not my dad was okay. And

987
00:56:52,280 --> 00:56:55,600
Speaker 1: it was amazing watching all of these people walk by

988
00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:59,160
Speaker 1: the restaurant, knock on the window and ask my dad

989
00:56:59,239 --> 00:57:02,120
Speaker 1: was a okay, are you okay? Are you okay? Is

990
00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:06,440
Speaker 1: everything okay? And this is a good will that my

991
00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:11,799
Speaker 1: dad spread in and around that cafe. Elder Snackbar, twelve

992
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:16,760
Speaker 1: thirty South Valincia tastes a difference. It was an area

993
00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:21,720
Speaker 1: that became increasingly Latino, and many of the kids in

994
00:57:21,720 --> 00:57:25,000
Speaker 1: the neighborhood grew up and some of them became tough guys,

995
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:28,880
Speaker 1: and some of them joined gangs. But there was this

996
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:32,000
Speaker 1: oasis around my dad's cafe, even though this was a

997
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:36,840
Speaker 1: pretty tough area. Sure there would be graffiti on the windows,

998
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:41,920
Speaker 1: but in operating the cafe for I guess nearly thirty years,

999
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:45,200
Speaker 1: never did anybody come in and rob the place, not

1000
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:49,640
Speaker 1: one time. And these kids that my dad grew up with,

1001
00:57:51,920 --> 00:57:54,000
Speaker 1: he would often open the back door of the restaurant

1002
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:57,000
Speaker 1: and give these little kids ice cream, not charge anything,

1003
00:57:57,080 --> 00:58:02,320
Speaker 1: just give them ice cream because my dad just loved children. Now,

1004
00:58:02,440 --> 00:58:04,400
Speaker 1: these kids that were five and six and seven years

1005
00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:07,200
Speaker 1: old when he gave ice creamer now seventeen, eighteen, nineteen,

1006
00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:11,440
Speaker 1: mid twenties, late twenties, and some of them were tough guys,

1007
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:16,720
Speaker 1: gang members. My dad would leave the cafe at night

1008
00:58:17,440 --> 00:58:20,560
Speaker 1: it's completely dark now, and he'd walk out and everybody,

1009
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:24,240
Speaker 1: of course knew he had money, cash money, and sometimes

1010
00:58:24,240 --> 00:58:27,480
Speaker 1: he would hand people these kids got kids now and

1011
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:30,600
Speaker 1: they're in their teenagers or early twenties the bag with

1012
00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:34,000
Speaker 1: the money as he opened the truck to put stuff

1013
00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:38,400
Speaker 1: in the trunk, and they would hand him back the money. Again,

1014
00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:41,040
Speaker 1: an oasis around my father because of all the good

1015
00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:45,000
Speaker 1: will that he had spread. So as We're sitting there

1016
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:47,720
Speaker 1: and I'm getting to know him, and my dad very

1017
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:55,760
Speaker 1: casually mentioned his ex wife and I thought he misspoke,

1018
00:58:57,360 --> 00:58:59,240
Speaker 1: and I said, excuse me, I thought you said ex wife.

1019
00:58:59,240 --> 00:59:02,760
Speaker 1: He said I did. I said you were married before,

1020
00:59:04,680 --> 00:59:08,520
Speaker 1: and he said it, and I quote, you didn't know that, Dad,

1021
00:59:08,560 --> 00:59:12,840
Speaker 1: How would I have known that? And I thought he

1022
00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:16,680
Speaker 1: was going to say I was married briefly, and something happened.

1023
00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:20,400
Speaker 1: I said how long were you married? And he said

1024
00:59:20,680 --> 00:59:24,160
Speaker 1: the first time or the second time. I said, you've

1025
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:31,120
Speaker 1: been married twice before mom? He said yes, And I'm flabbergasted.

1026
00:59:31,200 --> 00:59:35,320
Speaker 1: Now I assumed that my dad and my mom had

1027
00:59:35,360 --> 00:59:38,160
Speaker 1: been married forever by the way, they were married for

1028
00:59:38,160 --> 00:59:43,160
Speaker 1: fifty six years. My mom died before my dad, even

1029
00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:47,400
Speaker 1: though my dad is nine years older. And I said

1030
00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:51,280
Speaker 1: the first or the second time? And he said, yes.

1031
00:59:51,320 --> 00:59:54,840
Speaker 1: The first time I was married, I married a girl

1032
00:59:54,880 --> 00:59:58,000
Speaker 1: that I was in love with. And when her parents

1033
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:01,200
Speaker 1: found out that we got married, that she was married

1034
01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:02,920
Speaker 1: to somebody who left school when he was in eighth

1035
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:07,160
Speaker 1: grade and was working menial jobs, they took her to

1036
01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:13,959
Speaker 1: the courthouse and they had the marriage annulled. I said,

1037
01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:18,280
Speaker 1: in the second time, he said, the second time, I

1038
01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:24,600
Speaker 1: was married for seven years. I said, seven years. And

1039
01:00:24,680 --> 01:00:29,680
Speaker 1: what happened? He said, two things. First, she cheated on me,

1040
01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:35,640
Speaker 1: and second, I always wanted to have kids, and we

1041
01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:40,560
Speaker 1: tried and tried and tried, and we couldn't. And so

1042
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:44,480
Speaker 1: because she cheated on me, we got divorced. And because

1043
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:47,800
Speaker 1: she couldn't have children, I was happy to perhaps maybe

1044
01:00:47,800 --> 01:00:59,160
Speaker 1: meet somebody else who could. I was stunned. Imagine finding

1045
01:00:59,200 --> 01:01:01,320
Speaker 1: out that your father had been married before, not only once,

1046
01:01:01,360 --> 01:01:06,080
Speaker 1: but twice, and then in both cases it had a

1047
01:01:06,080 --> 01:01:10,439
Speaker 1: painful ending. The girl's family felt he wasn't good enough

1048
01:01:10,440 --> 01:01:13,240
Speaker 1: for her, marches her down to the courthouse and knows

1049
01:01:13,280 --> 01:01:19,480
Speaker 1: the marriage, and the second one cheats on him, and

1050
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:22,880
Speaker 1: then he has three sons who think he's mean, and

1051
01:01:22,920 --> 01:01:30,800
Speaker 1: an Ogre and they don't like him. My goodness. More

1052
01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:35,240
Speaker 1: about Dear Father, Dear Son two Lives, eight hours will return.

1053
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:37,880
Speaker 1: This is a special edition of The Larry O Show,

1054
01:01:39,560 --> 01:01:42,520
Speaker 1: and this is my fourth book again. Is available on

1055
01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:45,160
Speaker 1: Amazon dot com or even easier, you just go to

1056
01:01:45,240 --> 01:01:48,840
Speaker 1: my blog Elder Statement dot com. You'll see at the

1057
01:01:48,880 --> 01:01:52,400
Speaker 1: top dear Father, Dear Son. Click it on. I will

1058
01:01:52,440 --> 01:02:01,480
Speaker 1: return shortly. Don't leave town. Love to hear your comments

1059
01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:03,840
Speaker 1: about what I've been talking about so far, so feel

1060
01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:05,760
Speaker 1: free to give me us the call and leave me

1061
01:02:05,800 --> 01:02:08,800
Speaker 1: a comment at eight eight, eight, nine, seven to one, seven,

1062
01:02:08,880 --> 01:02:12,160
Speaker 1: two four three and tune in tomorrow for part two

1063
01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:15,360
Speaker 1: and the conclusion of Dear Father, Dear Son. Now, I

1064
01:02:15,400 --> 01:02:18,600
Speaker 1: mentioned that my brother and I were honored to attend

1065
01:02:18,600 --> 01:02:22,240
Speaker 1: the ceremony at Camp Pimpleton that was arranged by the

1066
01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:27,240
Speaker 1: chief of staff for Congressman Dana Orbacher. Kathleen Staunton and

1067
01:02:27,360 --> 01:02:30,800
Speaker 1: Dana Warbroker spoke there as well, and I briefly spoke

1068
01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:32,160
Speaker 1: and here's what I said, And then my brother and

1069
01:02:32,200 --> 01:02:35,280
Speaker 1: I will be talking about this. My dad was cleaning

1070
01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:38,280
Speaker 1: out the garage one day. I happened to be just

1071
01:02:38,360 --> 01:02:40,560
Speaker 1: driving by there to come and see him. And it's

1072
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:43,240
Speaker 1: a good thing that I did, Kirk, because my dad

1073
01:02:43,280 --> 01:02:44,920
Speaker 1: was about ready to throw out something that he found

1074
01:02:45,320 --> 01:02:46,920
Speaker 1: in this big old case that had been sitting in

1075
01:02:46,920 --> 01:02:49,520
Speaker 1: the garage for years. We pulled out an envelope. I said,

1076
01:02:49,520 --> 01:02:51,240
Speaker 1: what is this, Dad? He says, I don't know. And

1077
01:02:51,280 --> 01:02:52,720
Speaker 1: we looked at it and it was a letter that

1078
01:02:52,760 --> 01:02:55,000
Speaker 1: my dad had written to you when you were two

1079
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:58,160
Speaker 1: years old. And my dad then remembered he had a

1080
01:02:58,160 --> 01:03:00,080
Speaker 1: premonition he was going to die at the age of

1081
01:03:00,160 --> 01:03:02,480
Speaker 1: thirty six. Now, my dad lived to be almost one hundred,

1082
01:03:02,960 --> 01:03:06,439
Speaker 1: just a bit outside. He died a little bit before

1083
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:09,080
Speaker 1: his ninety sixth birthday, so they always had a preminition

1084
01:03:09,120 --> 01:03:10,560
Speaker 1: he's going to die at the age of thirty six.

1085
01:03:10,680 --> 01:03:13,200
Speaker 1: And he wanted to leave something for my brother as

1086
01:03:13,240 --> 01:03:16,200
Speaker 1: some sort of like roadmap for the future. And here's

1087
01:03:16,200 --> 01:03:21,480
Speaker 1: what he wrote, May fourth, nineteen fifty one. Kurt, my son,

1088
01:03:22,080 --> 01:03:24,400
Speaker 1: you are now starting out in life, a life that

1089
01:03:24,440 --> 01:03:26,640
Speaker 1: mother and I cannot live for you. So as you

1090
01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:29,440
Speaker 1: journey through life, remember it's yours, so make it a

1091
01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:31,800
Speaker 1: good one. Always try to cheer up the other fellow.

1092
01:03:32,320 --> 01:03:35,640
Speaker 1: Learn to think straight, analyze things, be sure you have

1093
01:03:35,720 --> 01:03:39,680
Speaker 1: all the facts before concluding, and always spin less than

1094
01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:44,600
Speaker 1: you earn. Make friends, work hard, and play hard. Most

1095
01:03:44,640 --> 01:03:47,600
Speaker 1: important of all, remember this, the best of friends wear

1096
01:03:47,640 --> 01:03:51,000
Speaker 1: out if you use them. This may sound silly, son,

1097
01:03:51,280 --> 01:03:53,080
Speaker 1: but no matter where you are. On the twenty ninth

1098
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:55,960
Speaker 1: of September, Kirk's birthday, see that mother gets a little

1099
01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:58,720
Speaker 1: gift if possible, along with a big kiss and a

1100
01:03:58,760 --> 01:04:01,640
Speaker 1: broad smile. When you are out on your own, listen

1101
01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:04,280
Speaker 1: and take advice, but do your own thinking and concluding.

1102
01:04:04,600 --> 01:04:07,320
Speaker 1: Set up a reasonable goal, then be determined to reach it.

1103
01:04:07,680 --> 01:04:10,600
Speaker 1: You can and will. It's up to you, son, your

1104
01:04:10,640 --> 01:04:14,560
Speaker 1: father Randolph Elder. Once again, I want to thank you

1105
01:04:14,600 --> 01:04:17,280
Speaker 1: all so much for honoring my dad and for honoring

1106
01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:19,479
Speaker 1: his service to this great country. And may God bless

1107
01:04:19,520 --> 01:04:21,840
Speaker 1: America and may God continue to bless all of us.

1108
01:04:21,920 --> 01:04:22,640
Speaker 1: Thank you very much.

1109
01:04:29,640 --> 01:04:35,120
Speaker 2: Right, retire the columns.

1110
01:04:36,720 --> 01:04:39,480
Speaker 3: Ladies and gentlemen, please stand for the retirement the colors

1111
01:04:39,520 --> 01:04:40,480
Speaker 3: and remains for.

1112
01:04:40,560 --> 01:04:43,440
Speaker 2: The exciding of the official party, followed by the plane.

1113
01:04:43,160 --> 01:05:27,440
Speaker 5: Of eight years away and him forward mart.

1114
01:05:08,240 --> 01:05:12,600
Speaker 1: Kirk brother, it's now joining us. Kirky there, that's I'm there.

1115
01:05:12,680 --> 01:05:13,200
Speaker 6: How you going?

1116
01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:15,200
Speaker 1: That's how about yours? All?

1117
01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:17,439
Speaker 2: Tiny.

1118
01:05:17,600 --> 01:05:21,320
Speaker 1: So, Kirk, we're doing a special edition of Dear Father,

1119
01:05:21,400 --> 01:05:21,880
Speaker 1: Dear Son.

1120
01:05:22,720 --> 01:05:26,280
Speaker 6: Yeah, listening to that last excerpt and brought back to

1121
01:05:26,440 --> 01:05:30,760
Speaker 6: memory that was some.

1122
01:05:30,760 --> 01:05:31,360
Speaker 1: Day, wouldn't it.

1123
01:05:31,640 --> 01:05:39,760
Speaker 6: Yeah, you know, he was such a closed person. I

1124
01:05:39,760 --> 01:05:42,080
Speaker 6: don't know what you want to say. You know, as

1125
01:05:42,080 --> 01:05:44,440
Speaker 6: I got older, I found out all you got to

1126
01:05:44,480 --> 01:05:46,480
Speaker 6: do was ask him a question. He would answer it,

1127
01:05:46,960 --> 01:05:49,840
Speaker 6: even about his past if you ask to. But he

1128
01:05:49,960 --> 01:05:52,080
Speaker 6: never volunteered everything, you know, and as you're a kid

1129
01:05:52,120 --> 01:05:54,160
Speaker 6: and you you know, you're trying to figure out your father,

1130
01:05:54,440 --> 01:05:59,000
Speaker 6: you don't know what to ask. So he was just

1131
01:05:59,040 --> 01:06:01,560
Speaker 6: you know, a real close what there's feelings sometimes and

1132
01:06:01,680 --> 01:06:03,000
Speaker 6: you know, I wish you would opened up a little

1133
01:06:03,040 --> 01:06:03,400
Speaker 6: bit more.

1134
01:06:03,440 --> 01:06:06,720
Speaker 1: But Kirk, I felt that in looking at it and

1135
01:06:06,760 --> 01:06:10,120
Speaker 1: hearing from people who have read the book, I'm getting

1136
01:06:10,240 --> 01:06:12,600
Speaker 1: letters from people saying my dad was the same way.

1137
01:06:12,640 --> 01:06:15,480
Speaker 1: We're not just talking about black people, my dad was

1138
01:06:15,520 --> 01:06:17,880
Speaker 1: the same way. This is a generation. As I mentioned

1139
01:06:17,880 --> 01:06:18,800
Speaker 1: earlier in the show.

1140
01:06:18,600 --> 01:06:21,240
Speaker 6: Oh no, I understand all of that. I'm just saying that,

1141
01:06:22,440 --> 01:06:25,040
Speaker 6: you know, we really got to know him in his

1142
01:06:25,200 --> 01:06:29,160
Speaker 6: later years. We're older, he's a little older. We actually

1143
01:06:29,200 --> 01:06:32,320
Speaker 6: know what questions to ask because it was you found

1144
01:06:32,320 --> 01:06:34,720
Speaker 6: out about the Munthford Marine and I didn't know anything

1145
01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:38,720
Speaker 6: about that, right, And you know, we just started asking

1146
01:06:38,800 --> 01:06:43,080
Speaker 6: questions and stuff and it was, you know, mind blowing.

1147
01:06:43,440 --> 01:06:45,080
Speaker 1: But what I started to say, Kirk, is that that's

1148
01:06:45,080 --> 01:06:48,520
Speaker 1: that generation. That's a World War two slash depression generation.

1149
01:06:48,640 --> 01:06:51,680
Speaker 1: These were not talkative people. These are not warm, touchy people.

1150
01:06:52,840 --> 01:06:54,240
Speaker 6: Uh yeah, tell me about that.

1151
01:06:56,720 --> 01:06:59,520
Speaker 1: Man. And I don't know if you've heard the part earlier,

1152
01:06:59,520 --> 01:07:01,520
Speaker 1: but one of the things I mentioned, Kirk is that

1153
01:07:01,720 --> 01:07:04,440
Speaker 1: had I not gone to Cleveland, had I not met Thurman,

1154
01:07:04,760 --> 01:07:07,920
Speaker 1: mom's youngest brother or uncle, and had I not found

1155
01:07:07,920 --> 01:07:11,560
Speaker 1: out that he roomed with Dad before Dad even met mom.

1156
01:07:11,800 --> 01:07:14,440
Speaker 1: And I was going BMW, which stands for bitch moaning

1157
01:07:14,480 --> 01:07:17,640
Speaker 1: wine about Dad one time to Thurman. And Thurman said,

1158
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:20,280
Speaker 1: you know, I used to live with your dad before

1159
01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:22,160
Speaker 1: your dad met your mom. I said, get out of here.

1160
01:07:23,080 --> 01:07:25,200
Speaker 1: And he said, the man that you're describing is not

1161
01:07:25,240 --> 01:07:27,160
Speaker 1: the man that I know. He said, either he's changed

1162
01:07:27,240 --> 01:07:29,840
Speaker 1: or you've misread him. And he would tell me stuff

1163
01:07:29,840 --> 01:07:31,240
Speaker 1: about Dad and how Dad was.

1164
01:07:31,920 --> 01:07:32,040
Speaker 6: Uh.

1165
01:07:32,160 --> 01:07:35,440
Speaker 1: And he was shocked at how hostile that I was

1166
01:07:35,480 --> 01:07:37,400
Speaker 1: towards him. He was shocked at the hard attitude I

1167
01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:41,760
Speaker 1: had towards him, and it made me rethink some things.

1168
01:07:43,080 --> 01:07:46,760
Speaker 6: You know, you tend to get a little emotional sometimes.

1169
01:07:46,560 --> 01:07:49,640
Speaker 1: And you don't, and you don't.

1170
01:07:50,320 --> 01:07:53,760
Speaker 6: I kind of wrong with the punches, you know, And

1171
01:07:53,800 --> 01:07:55,560
Speaker 6: I guess that's the best way to say it. And

1172
01:07:55,640 --> 01:07:59,800
Speaker 6: so we didn't have the best relationship. But I never

1173
01:08:00,240 --> 01:08:05,400
Speaker 6: he'd even really mad at him. I just didn't understand him.

1174
01:08:05,440 --> 01:08:08,000
Speaker 6: And sometimes I thought he was too tough when he

1175
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:11,120
Speaker 6: should have been a little bit nicer. And again, you know,

1176
01:08:11,160 --> 01:08:12,840
Speaker 6: you go back to how hard he worked and all

1177
01:08:12,840 --> 01:08:17,960
Speaker 6: the hours he put in. And I can understand a

1178
01:08:17,960 --> 01:08:20,800
Speaker 6: lot of it now, but when I was younger, I didn't, well, I.

1179
01:08:20,760 --> 01:08:22,720
Speaker 1: Was really mad at him, and I know Dennis was too.

1180
01:08:22,760 --> 01:08:26,160
Speaker 1: We both felt the same way. I think you felt

1181
01:08:26,200 --> 01:08:28,599
Speaker 1: a little differently because it's just you just reacted things

1182
01:08:28,600 --> 01:08:30,479
Speaker 1: somewhat differently. But Dennis and I felt the same way

1183
01:08:30,520 --> 01:08:33,519
Speaker 1: about him and Kirk. I don't know if you know

1184
01:08:33,560 --> 01:08:35,120
Speaker 1: the story, well, you read the book, but you know

1185
01:08:35,160 --> 01:08:37,920
Speaker 1: the story about how Dad met Mom. He met Mom

1186
01:08:37,920 --> 01:08:42,000
Speaker 1: through uncle Eddie, who was married to Aunt Jannita, Mom's sister,

1187
01:08:42,640 --> 01:08:44,599
Speaker 1: And we'll talk about that when we come back. I'm

1188
01:08:44,600 --> 01:08:47,920
Speaker 1: talking to Kirk Elder, my brother, about dear father, dear Son,

1189
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:50,719
Speaker 1: two Lives eight hours. Kirk. Of course, it's prominently featured

1190
01:08:51,120 --> 01:08:53,720
Speaker 1: in the book. And when Kirk read the book, I

1191
01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:55,639
Speaker 1: was worried that Kirk might have thought that I had

1192
01:08:55,840 --> 01:08:58,600
Speaker 1: miscast him. And Kirk said, yeah, I'm that way. You

1193
01:08:58,640 --> 01:09:07,000
Speaker 1: nailed it. Don't leave town. I'd love to hear some feedback.

1194
01:09:07,360 --> 01:09:09,200
Speaker 1: I feel free to leave a message off that line

1195
01:09:09,240 --> 01:09:12,639
Speaker 1: eight eight eight nine seven one sage now, Kirk, As

1196
01:09:12,640 --> 01:09:16,240
Speaker 1: I mentioned Dad met Mom because Dad got his hair

1197
01:09:16,320 --> 01:09:20,920
Speaker 1: cut by our uncle named Eddie, and Dad and Eddie

1198
01:09:20,920 --> 01:09:23,920
Speaker 1: were goombas. They were really good friends. And Eddie was

1199
01:09:23,920 --> 01:09:29,160
Speaker 1: married to Juanita, who's Mom's sister, and Eddie loved their relationship.

1200
01:09:29,240 --> 01:09:31,599
Speaker 1: They were just and you know you and I visited them.

1201
01:09:31,600 --> 01:09:34,760
Speaker 1: They live in Chattanooga, and they had this wonderful relationship

1202
01:09:35,240 --> 01:09:38,679
Speaker 1: and Aunt Nita was deferred to it to Uncle Eddie

1203
01:09:38,720 --> 01:09:40,920
Speaker 1: all the time. If Uncle Eddie wanted to do something,

1204
01:09:41,080 --> 01:09:42,880
Speaker 1: she did it. If Uncle Eddie said jump, she'd say

1205
01:09:42,880 --> 01:09:45,760
Speaker 1: how high. It wouldn't come down until he told her to.

1206
01:09:46,479 --> 01:09:50,280
Speaker 1: And Dad asked Eddie if he had a sister, because

1207
01:09:50,280 --> 01:09:53,120
Speaker 1: he assumed that Mom would be just liked ant Nita.

1208
01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:57,080
Speaker 1: And so they met and Kirk, as you know, Mom

1209
01:09:57,200 --> 01:09:58,800
Speaker 1: ain't nothing like Anita.

1210
01:10:00,800 --> 01:10:02,679
Speaker 6: Two different p's out of the same time.

1211
01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:07,800
Speaker 1: Oh, there different different as night and day. And Dad

1212
01:10:07,800 --> 01:10:09,880
Speaker 1: told me that, and he said he wasn't angry or

1213
01:10:09,880 --> 01:10:12,479
Speaker 1: bitter about that, but he she said, he said it

1214
01:10:12,479 --> 01:10:14,400
Speaker 1: took her. It took some getting used to. One of

1215
01:10:14,439 --> 01:10:17,240
Speaker 1: the other things Kirk that Eddie said was was excuse

1216
01:10:17,240 --> 01:10:20,479
Speaker 1: me that Thurman said was how funny Dad was. How

1217
01:10:20,479 --> 01:10:23,400
Speaker 1: many jokes he pulled, some of the stunts that he did,

1218
01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:26,240
Speaker 1: and it really made him a lot more colorful, Kirk.

1219
01:10:26,479 --> 01:10:30,720
Speaker 1: People in the South were just getting telephones in those days, right, uh,

1220
01:10:30,720 --> 01:10:33,120
Speaker 1: And Uncle Eddie had just gotten the phone. So Dad

1221
01:10:33,160 --> 01:10:35,360
Speaker 1: called and said, this is a telephone company. I'm going

1222
01:10:35,439 --> 01:10:37,880
Speaker 1: to make sure your line is good. Uh. And what

1223
01:10:37,920 --> 01:10:39,280
Speaker 1: I want you to do is set your phone down

1224
01:10:39,280 --> 01:10:41,960
Speaker 1: on the ground and back up. And Eddie went, excuse me,

1225
01:10:42,200 --> 01:10:45,360
Speaker 1: set your phone down and back up? Set my phone down. Now,

1226
01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:47,000
Speaker 1: I don't have time to be with messing around with

1227
01:10:47,040 --> 01:10:49,240
Speaker 1: you all day. Now, will you get get to work?

1228
01:10:49,880 --> 01:10:52,439
Speaker 1: Set the phone down and start backing up. And so

1229
01:10:52,720 --> 01:10:55,320
Speaker 1: Eddie set the phone down, and Dad said, and say

1230
01:10:55,320 --> 01:10:57,920
Speaker 1: hello as you're backing up, Saidie. Set the phone down

1231
01:10:58,280 --> 01:11:01,040
Speaker 1: and said hello, and picked dancing. Now. I told you

1232
01:11:01,080 --> 01:11:02,680
Speaker 1: to set the phone down and back up and say hello.

1233
01:11:03,120 --> 01:11:05,160
Speaker 1: I'm trying to check your line and make sure the

1234
01:11:05,200 --> 01:11:07,920
Speaker 1: connections are good. So Eddie sets the phone down, starts

1235
01:11:07,960 --> 01:11:10,439
Speaker 1: backing up. Hello, Hello, gets back on the phone. I

1236
01:11:10,520 --> 01:11:12,840
Speaker 1: danced now, I set back up, set the phone down,

1237
01:11:12,840 --> 01:11:16,719
Speaker 1: now backs up even further, going hello, Hello, Hello aunt

1238
01:11:16,760 --> 01:11:18,519
Speaker 1: at Nita comes in and say what are you doing?

1239
01:11:19,840 --> 01:11:22,439
Speaker 1: Eddie said, I'm talking to the man with the telephone company.

1240
01:11:22,720 --> 01:11:25,720
Speaker 1: And Annita said, boy, that ain't nothing but Randolph making

1241
01:11:25,760 --> 01:11:31,880
Speaker 1: a fool out of you? Hello, Hello?

1242
01:11:34,080 --> 01:11:34,640
Speaker 6: Can you hear me?

1243
01:11:34,720 --> 01:11:38,960
Speaker 1: Now? Can you hear me? Now? Unbelievable. And he had

1244
01:11:39,040 --> 01:11:41,719
Speaker 1: story after story, some of which we'll talk about tomorrow,

1245
01:11:41,760 --> 01:11:46,120
Speaker 1: including the story called and I Want My Damn Dime,

1246
01:11:46,200 --> 01:11:48,240
Speaker 1: which is one of the chapters that people I think

1247
01:11:48,280 --> 01:11:50,720
Speaker 1: get the most pleasure out of. K Kurt, thanks for

1248
01:11:50,720 --> 01:11:53,360
Speaker 1: taking the time. I appreciate it, all right, I got it, bro.

1249
01:11:53,560 --> 01:11:59,479
Speaker 1: Love you no love, no love, no love maybe someday

1250
01:11:59,760 --> 01:12:09,920
Speaker 1: heart to say so. Louis. Here's a big thank you

1251
01:12:09,960 --> 01:12:12,080
Speaker 1: to each of you who helped make my Angel Tree

1252
01:12:12,160 --> 01:12:15,519
Speaker 1: Christmas campaign such an amazing success this year, over twelve

1253
01:12:15,520 --> 01:12:18,720
Speaker 1: thousand children of prisoners are blessed by your generosity, and

1254
01:12:18,760 --> 01:12:20,680
Speaker 1: for the rest of you, it's not too late to

1255
01:12:20,720 --> 01:12:23,439
Speaker 1: help Angel Tree and snag a year in tax deduction

1256
01:12:23,479 --> 01:12:26,040
Speaker 1: as well. Just go to Larryelder dot com and click

1257
01:12:26,080 --> 01:12:28,920
Speaker 1: on the Angel Tree banner from christ Centered Summer Camps

1258
01:12:29,000 --> 01:12:32,280
Speaker 1: to Angel Tree Sports Clinics. Prison Fellowship serves these special

1259
01:12:32,360 --> 01:12:35,200
Speaker 1: kids all year round, but you make the magic happen.

1260
01:12:35,240 --> 01:12:38,160
Speaker 1: Please go to Larryelder dot com and make an Angeltree

1261
01:12:38,200 --> 01:12:40,160
Speaker 1: gift in any amount and you'll get a year in

1262
01:12:40,240 --> 01:12:42,920
Speaker 1: tax deduction just for doing something special for kids with

1263
01:12:43,000 --> 01:12:45,960
Speaker 1: a mom or dad in prison. Thank you so very much.

1264
01:12:46,080 --> 01:12:52,000
Speaker 1: To quote Joe Biden, Merry Christmas, y'all enjoy this Christmas

1265
01:12:52,040 --> 01:12:55,839
Speaker 1: presentation of dear father, dear son two lives eight hours

1266
01:12:58,080 --> 01:13:00,920
Speaker 1: and this is Larry Elder our number three. Dear father

1267
01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:04,040
Speaker 1: dear son two lives eight hours. Not taking any calls

1268
01:13:04,120 --> 01:13:06,479
Speaker 1: right now, but feel free to call, leave a message,

1269
01:13:06,520 --> 01:13:09,280
Speaker 1: give me your reaction. Triple eight nine seven one sa

1270
01:13:09,600 --> 01:13:12,320
Speaker 1: ge triple eight nine seven one seven two four three.

1271
01:13:12,320 --> 01:13:14,280
Speaker 1: It is a twenty four to seven line. Try and

1272
01:13:14,360 --> 01:13:18,240
Speaker 1: keep your message under sixty seconds if you can so.

1273
01:13:18,360 --> 01:13:22,360
Speaker 1: My dad and I, after this long, long, long conversation,

1274
01:13:22,439 --> 01:13:25,680
Speaker 1: started talking about my friends, and he started asking me

1275
01:13:25,720 --> 01:13:27,600
Speaker 1: about some of my friends, and he recalled when I

1276
01:13:27,680 --> 01:13:30,720
Speaker 1: was growing up. My dad wasn't around too often, but

1277
01:13:30,760 --> 01:13:32,920
Speaker 1: he does remember several of my friends coming by, and

1278
01:13:32,960 --> 01:13:39,000
Speaker 1: one of them has changed his name to Mohammed. And

1279
01:13:39,040 --> 01:13:40,720
Speaker 1: I was trying to tell my dad what I thought

1280
01:13:40,760 --> 01:13:43,519
Speaker 1: went wrong with this particular friend. He and I were

1281
01:13:43,560 --> 01:13:47,240
Speaker 1: really good friends. He was a tremendous athlete. He was

1282
01:13:47,240 --> 01:13:50,720
Speaker 1: a quarterback of the high school football team. He was

1283
01:13:50,920 --> 01:13:54,519
Speaker 1: the starting point guard of the basketball team. He picked

1284
01:13:54,600 --> 01:13:56,320
Speaker 1: up a tennis racket and fooled around with it for

1285
01:13:56,360 --> 01:13:59,200
Speaker 1: a little bit. After maybe two weeks, tried out four

1286
01:13:59,240 --> 01:14:02,000
Speaker 1: and made the ten team. You get the picture. He

1287
01:14:02,200 --> 01:14:06,800
Speaker 1: was one hell of an athlete, and I befriended him

1288
01:14:06,840 --> 01:14:09,439
Speaker 1: when we moved to South Central, so I've known him

1289
01:14:09,479 --> 01:14:13,040
Speaker 1: since the second grade. Now, I wasn't much of an athlete,

1290
01:14:13,800 --> 01:14:16,680
Speaker 1: although I was a pretty good I was all neighborhood.

1291
01:14:16,720 --> 01:14:19,280
Speaker 1: I was probably one of the best athletes in my neighborhood.

1292
01:14:19,280 --> 01:14:22,760
Speaker 1: But that was kind of a small sample size once

1293
01:14:22,800 --> 01:14:25,280
Speaker 1: you got to middle school or to high school. I

1294
01:14:25,360 --> 01:14:28,120
Speaker 1: was kind of mediocre, but this guy was amazing. A

1295
01:14:28,160 --> 01:14:32,960
Speaker 1: tremendous eye, hand coordination, speed, strength, a gorgeous body. Just

1296
01:14:33,080 --> 01:14:36,439
Speaker 1: everything he did athletically he did well. And he admired

1297
01:14:36,439 --> 01:14:40,200
Speaker 1: me because of my academics, he had difficulty with school,

1298
01:14:40,360 --> 01:14:44,519
Speaker 1: and so I think we comhimented each other. Anyway, I

1299
01:14:44,600 --> 01:14:47,559
Speaker 1: was telling my dad about an incident which I think

1300
01:14:47,840 --> 01:14:51,960
Speaker 1: kind of helped to shape his life in the wrong way.

1301
01:14:52,600 --> 01:14:55,679
Speaker 1: We were in maybe the third or fourth grade, and

1302
01:14:56,040 --> 01:14:59,559
Speaker 1: the class was picking out the best kickball players because

1303
01:14:59,560 --> 01:15:02,040
Speaker 1: we were going to play against another team. It's kind

1304
01:15:02,040 --> 01:15:05,280
Speaker 1: of a big deal, and it wasn't like the Major

1305
01:15:05,360 --> 01:15:07,880
Speaker 1: League All Stars, but for this level, it was kind

1306
01:15:07,880 --> 01:15:11,040
Speaker 1: of a big deal. And I was a pretty good

1307
01:15:11,160 --> 01:15:14,080
Speaker 1: kickball player, but not nearly as good as my friend,

1308
01:15:14,120 --> 01:15:18,840
Speaker 1: who later on changed his name to Muhammad. He was

1309
01:15:18,880 --> 01:15:22,160
Speaker 1: by far the best kickball player in the class. Nobody

1310
01:15:22,200 --> 01:15:26,280
Speaker 1: was even close, but he wasn't chosen by the kids.

1311
01:15:26,720 --> 01:15:29,000
Speaker 1: There were roughly thirty five kids in the class, both

1312
01:15:29,040 --> 01:15:33,120
Speaker 1: boys and girls voted, and he wasn't voted on. And

1313
01:15:33,160 --> 01:15:35,320
Speaker 1: the reason he wasn't voted on is because the kids

1314
01:15:35,320 --> 01:15:38,720
Speaker 1: didn't like him. They thought he was brash, they thought

1315
01:15:38,760 --> 01:15:42,679
Speaker 1: he was arrogant. They thought when he played you and

1316
01:15:42,840 --> 01:15:45,280
Speaker 1: he was beating you, he would taunt you, all of

1317
01:15:45,320 --> 01:15:48,360
Speaker 1: which he did. But I didn't think it was fair

1318
01:15:48,800 --> 01:15:53,000
Speaker 1: for the teacher to fill the best players and not

1319
01:15:53,080 --> 01:15:56,559
Speaker 1: have him on. So I got voted on. I was

1320
01:15:56,600 --> 01:15:58,400
Speaker 1: kind of surprised because I wasn't that good of a

1321
01:15:58,439 --> 01:16:02,000
Speaker 1: kickball player. Although I came back at it, I was okay.

1322
01:16:03,040 --> 01:16:05,280
Speaker 1: I waited until after the class and I went up

1323
01:16:05,280 --> 01:16:07,080
Speaker 1: to the teacher. I'm telling this to my dad. And

1324
01:16:07,080 --> 01:16:09,559
Speaker 1: I went up to the teacher and I told her

1325
01:16:09,960 --> 01:16:12,840
Speaker 1: what I just now told you. I said, this vote

1326
01:16:12,880 --> 01:16:16,559
Speaker 1: has been held and the best player is not on,

1327
01:16:16,800 --> 01:16:20,200
Speaker 1: even though he is far better than anybody else. And

1328
01:16:20,280 --> 01:16:23,439
Speaker 1: I told her I didn't think it was fair. I said,

1329
01:16:23,439 --> 01:16:25,320
Speaker 1: I know the kids don't like him. I know they

1330
01:16:25,360 --> 01:16:27,800
Speaker 1: think he's arrogant, but he's a friend of mine and

1331
01:16:27,840 --> 01:16:29,360
Speaker 1: I just don't think it's fair of him not to

1332
01:16:29,360 --> 01:16:31,400
Speaker 1: be on the team, and I would like to give

1333
01:16:31,840 --> 01:16:38,200
Speaker 1: him my spot. I told it to my father, and

1334
01:16:38,280 --> 01:16:40,439
Speaker 1: my dad says, well, I know what she should have said,

1335
01:16:40,439 --> 01:16:42,080
Speaker 1: And I said, I know what she should have said, too, Dad.

1336
01:16:42,600 --> 01:16:45,240
Speaker 1: What she should have said is, look, Larry, in life,

1337
01:16:45,240 --> 01:16:48,080
Speaker 1: you're going to find from time to time the most

1338
01:16:48,280 --> 01:16:53,599
Speaker 1: talented person doesn't win. Because if your personality is such

1339
01:16:54,240 --> 01:16:57,639
Speaker 1: that you don't get along with people, and you offend people,

1340
01:16:58,280 --> 01:17:01,080
Speaker 1: and you demean people and you laugh at people the

1341
01:17:01,120 --> 01:17:04,160
Speaker 1: way Mohammad does to other kids, it's going to hurt

1342
01:17:04,200 --> 01:17:09,360
Speaker 1: your life. It's about time he learned this lesson. That's

1343
01:17:09,360 --> 01:17:13,720
Speaker 1: what she should have said. But she didn't. She said, Okay,

1344
01:17:14,160 --> 01:17:17,680
Speaker 1: you can take his place and I'll put him on

1345
01:17:17,720 --> 01:17:23,200
Speaker 1: the team. As a result, Muhammad did not learn a

1346
01:17:23,360 --> 01:17:26,479
Speaker 1: very valuable lesson. And this, by the way, happened to

1347
01:17:26,560 --> 01:17:29,680
Speaker 1: him time and time and time again, because he was

1348
01:17:29,720 --> 01:17:35,040
Speaker 1: such a tremendous athlete. At my high school, Crenshaw High School,

1349
01:17:35,439 --> 01:17:38,360
Speaker 1: when it first opened up, virtually all the teachers were

1350
01:17:38,400 --> 01:17:42,280
Speaker 1: white except for one. The coach was white, and I

1351
01:17:42,320 --> 01:17:45,880
Speaker 1: don't think these teachers had ever dealt with black kids

1352
01:17:46,400 --> 01:17:48,960
Speaker 1: who were rough and tough and often unruly the way

1353
01:17:49,000 --> 01:17:54,160
Speaker 1: we were. So Muhammad clashed right away with this coach.

1354
01:17:55,720 --> 01:17:57,559
Speaker 1: The coach would tell him to come to practice on time.

1355
01:17:57,920 --> 01:18:00,960
Speaker 1: Mohammed would come late, tell him to do this particular

1356
01:18:01,000 --> 01:18:03,920
Speaker 1: play Muhammad would take over and they would win the

1357
01:18:03,960 --> 01:18:06,840
Speaker 1: game because he would play what's called hero ball, where

1358
01:18:06,840 --> 01:18:09,720
Speaker 1: he would just dominate, take the ball, not pass it,

1359
01:18:10,320 --> 01:18:12,840
Speaker 1: and then shoot. And he was a better shooter, better

1360
01:18:12,840 --> 01:18:15,479
Speaker 1: pastor better everything than everybody else. And he got away

1361
01:18:15,520 --> 01:18:20,599
Speaker 1: with it over and over and over again. Well, the

1362
01:18:20,840 --> 01:18:25,920
Speaker 1: coaches from major schools came to watch Mohammed play, and

1363
01:18:25,960 --> 01:18:29,760
Speaker 1: there were coaches from Duke, coaches from Marquette, coaches from

1364
01:18:29,800 --> 01:18:33,240
Speaker 1: North Carolina, coaches of course, from UCLA and from USC.

1365
01:18:35,280 --> 01:18:39,400
Speaker 1: But these coaches ask this particular high school coach who

1366
01:18:39,439 --> 01:18:43,800
Speaker 1: coached Mohammad, what kind of head does he have? What

1367
01:18:43,920 --> 01:18:47,200
Speaker 1: kind of kid is he? How will he mesh with

1368
01:18:47,240 --> 01:18:52,479
Speaker 1: the other players? And this coach told them the truth.

1369
01:18:52,520 --> 01:18:56,800
Speaker 1: After all, his reputation was on the line, and he

1370
01:18:56,880 --> 01:19:00,719
Speaker 1: told them that Mohammad was what coaches called a coach killer.

1371
01:19:01,800 --> 01:19:05,760
Speaker 1: Somebody's very talented, but because he won't listen, he will

1372
01:19:05,800 --> 01:19:09,280
Speaker 1: destroy team unity and team harmony, and you'll end up

1373
01:19:09,560 --> 01:19:14,920
Speaker 1: losing games. Well, Bye bye Marquette, Bye bye Duke, Bye

1374
01:19:14,920 --> 01:19:19,120
Speaker 1: bye North Carolina, Bye by UCLA, Bye by USC. He

1375
01:19:19,200 --> 01:19:22,840
Speaker 1: ended up being recruited by and going to a small

1376
01:19:23,000 --> 01:19:30,200
Speaker 1: school not known for basketball, and he was angry, and

1377
01:19:30,360 --> 01:19:34,160
Speaker 1: instead of going to that school and becoming the best

1378
01:19:34,200 --> 01:19:36,600
Speaker 1: he could be and then transferring to another school, this

1379
01:19:36,680 --> 01:19:40,599
Speaker 1: time with a good recommendation from the coach, he came

1380
01:19:40,640 --> 01:19:45,840
Speaker 1: to practice late, came to practice high, started drinking, started

1381
01:19:45,880 --> 01:19:49,800
Speaker 1: smoking dope. Next thing you know, he dropped out and

1382
01:19:49,960 --> 01:19:54,479
Speaker 1: never went back. And he became one of those what

1383
01:19:54,600 --> 01:19:57,960
Speaker 1: people call a playground legend. He'd be at the local

1384
01:19:58,040 --> 01:20:01,559
Speaker 1: playground and and he would put on a show, and

1385
01:20:01,600 --> 01:20:04,679
Speaker 1: every now and then there'd be a professional basketball player

1386
01:20:04,680 --> 01:20:07,599
Speaker 1: who'd dropped by to play, or somebody who's in one

1387
01:20:07,640 --> 01:20:10,559
Speaker 1: of the local colleges to drop by and play, and

1388
01:20:10,600 --> 01:20:14,439
Speaker 1: he would play competitively with them, and they would be impressed,

1389
01:20:14,439 --> 01:20:17,800
Speaker 1: and you get all sorts of compliments, and then they

1390
01:20:17,800 --> 01:20:21,479
Speaker 1: would leave and he'd go back home. And he did

1391
01:20:21,560 --> 01:20:24,120
Speaker 1: that for a number of years, playing almost every day

1392
01:20:24,720 --> 01:20:28,120
Speaker 1: on these hard, hard courts where there were no doctors,

1393
01:20:28,680 --> 01:20:32,479
Speaker 1: nobody to fix your shin splints. And eventually he developed

1394
01:20:32,520 --> 01:20:35,360
Speaker 1: knee pain and lower back pain and became one of

1395
01:20:35,400 --> 01:20:40,320
Speaker 1: those sad, sad stories of which there are a whole bunch.

1396
01:20:41,479 --> 01:20:44,040
Speaker 1: And I learned my dad and I were talking that

1397
01:20:44,160 --> 01:20:48,200
Speaker 1: for every NBA star there's probably ten or fifteen young

1398
01:20:48,240 --> 01:20:51,200
Speaker 1: men who were just as good but had the same

1399
01:20:51,320 --> 01:20:55,360
Speaker 1: kind of attitude that Muhammad had. Didn't try, assumed they

1400
01:20:55,360 --> 01:20:58,880
Speaker 1: had natural talent, they didn't have to work hard, ticked

1401
01:20:58,920 --> 01:21:02,200
Speaker 1: off the wrong people a long time, didn't learn the

1402
01:21:02,240 --> 01:21:07,400
Speaker 1: right lessons, angry at life, and are now sitting back

1403
01:21:07,400 --> 01:21:10,080
Speaker 1: at home. And by the way, Muhammed is sitting back

1404
01:21:10,439 --> 01:21:12,840
Speaker 1: at his home where he grew up. As we speak.

1405
01:21:13,840 --> 01:21:17,280
Speaker 1: His mother died, he inherited the house, and he still

1406
01:21:17,360 --> 01:21:20,280
Speaker 1: talks about all the people who jacked him over, which

1407
01:21:20,320 --> 01:21:22,240
Speaker 1: is one of the reasons he changed his name to Mohammed.

1408
01:21:23,080 --> 01:21:25,280
Speaker 1: And when I came back from college and I went

1409
01:21:25,320 --> 01:21:27,400
Speaker 1: to see him, and I found out that he changed

1410
01:21:27,400 --> 01:21:28,920
Speaker 1: his name. He kept correcting me when I would call

1411
01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:32,120
Speaker 1: him his other name, and he told me he did

1412
01:21:32,120 --> 01:21:36,040
Speaker 1: not want to be called by his slave name. And

1413
01:21:36,080 --> 01:21:40,160
Speaker 1: I told him that Arab slavers were involved in the

1414
01:21:40,240 --> 01:21:44,160
Speaker 1: African slave trade hundreds of years before European slavers were,

1415
01:21:44,640 --> 01:21:47,519
Speaker 1: and had taken more slaves from Africa to the Middle

1416
01:21:47,560 --> 01:21:51,040
Speaker 1: East and to South America than European slavers had taken

1417
01:21:51,080 --> 01:21:55,040
Speaker 1: them from Africa to North America into Central America. And

1418
01:21:55,080 --> 01:21:58,880
Speaker 1: he told me that I was a liar. And he's

1419
01:21:58,920 --> 01:22:02,760
Speaker 1: a very, very sad example of what I call a victocrat,

1420
01:22:03,920 --> 01:22:07,200
Speaker 1: somebody who blames other people. And we had a yelling

1421
01:22:07,240 --> 01:22:11,120
Speaker 1: match one time, and I said, look, Mohammad, you and

1422
01:22:11,160 --> 01:22:14,600
Speaker 1: I had the same teachers, we went to the same schools,

1423
01:22:15,360 --> 01:22:18,200
Speaker 1: we had the same opportunities, we grew up in exactly

1424
01:22:18,240 --> 01:22:21,240
Speaker 1: the same time. How come the white man has not

1425
01:22:21,560 --> 01:22:25,559
Speaker 1: stopped me and didn't have a particularly good example for it,

1426
01:22:25,800 --> 01:22:28,040
Speaker 1: a good answer for it. And I said, you've also

1427
01:22:28,160 --> 01:22:31,479
Speaker 1: hurt me. I'm a lawyer. I should have been negotiating

1428
01:22:31,479 --> 01:22:34,080
Speaker 1: your NBA contract. It would open up a whole different

1429
01:22:34,080 --> 01:22:36,920
Speaker 1: avenue from me. You hurt not only yourself, you also

1430
01:22:37,000 --> 01:22:39,280
Speaker 1: hurt me. But I don't want to hear any of

1431
01:22:39,320 --> 01:22:42,320
Speaker 1: this stuff about somebody got in your way. The only

1432
01:22:42,320 --> 01:22:46,240
Speaker 1: person who got in your way, Muhammad, was Mohammad. This

1433
01:22:46,400 --> 01:22:50,040
Speaker 1: is Larry Elder Triple eight nine one sag not taking

1434
01:22:50,080 --> 01:23:01,920
Speaker 1: any call, but feel free to leave the nest. This

1435
01:23:02,240 --> 01:23:05,120
Speaker 1: is Larry Elder, our three, dear father, dear son two

1436
01:23:05,240 --> 01:23:08,080
Speaker 1: lives eight hours and feel free to leave a message.

1437
01:23:08,080 --> 01:23:11,040
Speaker 1: Triple eight nine to seventy one Sage not taking any

1438
01:23:11,040 --> 01:23:13,840
Speaker 1: calls right now, but I will be interested in getting

1439
01:23:13,840 --> 01:23:17,600
Speaker 1: your reaction. So my dad and I are talking and

1440
01:23:17,640 --> 01:23:19,680
Speaker 1: I'm telling him about the time that I went to

1441
01:23:19,760 --> 01:23:22,240
Speaker 1: Fairfax High which is one of the many, many reasons

1442
01:23:22,640 --> 01:23:26,519
Speaker 1: why I support vouchers. Now. When I was in school,

1443
01:23:26,560 --> 01:23:29,080
Speaker 1: I was a world beater. I was almost always the first,

1444
01:23:29,080 --> 01:23:31,960
Speaker 1: second or third quote smartest close quote in the class.

1445
01:23:32,800 --> 01:23:35,639
Speaker 1: When we had examinations, I was always the first, second,

1446
01:23:35,720 --> 01:23:39,160
Speaker 1: or third finisher in class. The only kids who outperformed me,

1447
01:23:39,600 --> 01:23:42,240
Speaker 1: and it wasn't all the time, were the Asian American kids,

1448
01:23:42,240 --> 01:23:46,880
Speaker 1: whether they were from from Japan or from South Korea

1449
01:23:46,920 --> 01:23:50,639
Speaker 1: as one was, or from China. And when I say

1450
01:23:50,680 --> 01:23:54,599
Speaker 1: Asian American kids, I mean their parents were from those countries,

1451
01:23:54,640 --> 01:23:59,000
Speaker 1: and these were the first generation American born and they

1452
01:23:59,000 --> 01:24:02,760
Speaker 1: were all, with a few exceptions, very very driven, and

1453
01:24:02,800 --> 01:24:08,639
Speaker 1: they were my academic competitors. Well, Crenshaw had something called

1454
01:24:08,800 --> 01:24:14,080
Speaker 1: APEX Area Program in Richmond Exchange, and it was a

1455
01:24:14,080 --> 01:24:18,240
Speaker 1: new program that was started with a consortium of a

1456
01:24:18,280 --> 01:24:21,160
Speaker 1: bunch of different high schools in the area. And if

1457
01:24:21,200 --> 01:24:26,000
Speaker 1: your high school, for example, had advanced physiology or advanced physics,

1458
01:24:26,439 --> 01:24:29,759
Speaker 1: you could go to that school to take those courses

1459
01:24:29,800 --> 01:24:33,000
Speaker 1: that your own school does not offer. I had exhausted

1460
01:24:33,040 --> 01:24:36,880
Speaker 1: all of the Spanish that my school offered, and there

1461
01:24:36,920 --> 01:24:41,520
Speaker 1: was a regional school called Fairfax that had more advanced Spanish.

1462
01:24:41,880 --> 01:24:46,280
Speaker 1: So for two classes every day for one semester, I

1463
01:24:46,400 --> 01:24:50,320
Speaker 1: was picked up from Crenshaw, bust to Fairfax for those

1464
01:24:50,360 --> 01:24:54,439
Speaker 1: two classes, and then bust back to Crenshaw Apex Area

1465
01:24:54,560 --> 01:24:59,879
Speaker 1: program in Richmond Exchange. Now, I'd always gotten a's in Spanish.

1466
01:25:00,000 --> 01:25:02,280
Speaker 1: I always found Spanish to be a very easy subject

1467
01:25:02,280 --> 01:25:04,240
Speaker 1: from me, and so I assumed that I was going

1468
01:25:04,280 --> 01:25:08,000
Speaker 1: to continue the same kind of excellence. So I walked

1469
01:25:08,040 --> 01:25:11,880
Speaker 1: into this class the very first day, and these kids

1470
01:25:11,880 --> 01:25:16,360
Speaker 1: at Fairfax all Jewish except for the other black student

1471
01:25:16,439 --> 01:25:23,360
Speaker 1: from Crenshaw and me, And they spoke Spanish fluently, and

1472
01:25:23,400 --> 01:25:27,120
Speaker 1: not because they lived in Mexico or Spain for a time.

1473
01:25:27,680 --> 01:25:30,920
Speaker 1: They had learned it in class the same years of

1474
01:25:30,960 --> 01:25:35,839
Speaker 1: studying that I had, except they were fluent. The teacher

1475
01:25:35,840 --> 01:25:38,320
Speaker 1: would not allow anybody to speak English in the class,

1476
01:25:38,720 --> 01:25:40,800
Speaker 1: so if you needed to go anywhere, do anything, tell

1477
01:25:40,840 --> 01:25:43,400
Speaker 1: her anything, it always had to be told in Spanish.

1478
01:25:43,800 --> 01:25:47,040
Speaker 1: And I was blown away by how proficient and how

1479
01:25:47,080 --> 01:25:51,880
Speaker 1: fluent these kids were, And I realized after the first day,

1480
01:25:51,920 --> 01:25:54,920
Speaker 1: certainly after the first week, first few weeks, there's a

1481
01:25:54,960 --> 01:26:01,599
Speaker 1: whole different level of expectation of accident academic excellence that

1482
01:26:01,640 --> 01:26:05,800
Speaker 1: the students and the teachers and the parents expected, and

1483
01:26:05,840 --> 01:26:09,479
Speaker 1: they got. It was night and day from Crenshaw High School.

1484
01:26:10,680 --> 01:26:14,120
Speaker 1: So for the first i'd say two months, I was

1485
01:26:14,200 --> 01:26:17,800
Speaker 1: easily at the bottom of the class. They would have exams,

1486
01:26:18,360 --> 01:26:21,080
Speaker 1: and the exams were so much more advanced than anything

1487
01:26:21,080 --> 01:26:25,080
Speaker 1: I had seen at Crenshaw. I was flunking. I got

1488
01:26:25,160 --> 01:26:27,559
Speaker 1: a little bit better, and then I would recede, get

1489
01:26:27,560 --> 01:26:30,000
Speaker 1: a little bit better, and then I would recede. And

1490
01:26:30,040 --> 01:26:33,000
Speaker 1: it was painful because you have to speak out loud

1491
01:26:33,040 --> 01:26:37,360
Speaker 1: in class, and she's interrupting and correcting your grammar, correcting

1492
01:26:37,360 --> 01:26:43,040
Speaker 1: your addiction. It was painful. Now. The final exam, on

1493
01:26:43,160 --> 01:26:46,600
Speaker 1: which most of your grade was based, required you to

1494
01:26:46,640 --> 01:26:51,280
Speaker 1: write a book report in Spanish and to deliver it

1495
01:26:51,960 --> 01:26:54,920
Speaker 1: in Spanish before the class, not reading it. You had

1496
01:26:54,960 --> 01:27:00,840
Speaker 1: to memorize it. And my book report was on Don

1497
01:27:01,000 --> 01:27:08,080
Speaker 1: Quixote by set of Ante's and I never worked harder

1498
01:27:08,200 --> 01:27:11,559
Speaker 1: on any project in my life. I spent a lot

1499
01:27:11,560 --> 01:27:15,200
Speaker 1: of time writing it. Correcting the grammar. There's no internet

1500
01:27:15,200 --> 01:27:20,840
Speaker 1: in those days, no online courses you can take, and

1501
01:27:20,920 --> 01:27:23,519
Speaker 1: so I just worked and worked and worked. I was

1502
01:27:23,600 --> 01:27:25,280
Speaker 1: determined that I was not going to stand up in

1503
01:27:25,320 --> 01:27:29,519
Speaker 1: front of the class and be embarrassed. So the day

1504
01:27:29,680 --> 01:27:33,559
Speaker 1: of this exam came and the first kid stands up

1505
01:27:33,680 --> 01:27:37,680
Speaker 1: and gives his book report, and the teacher just criticizes

1506
01:27:37,720 --> 01:27:40,760
Speaker 1: what he said, criticized how he said it, criticized how

1507
01:27:40,760 --> 01:27:43,880
Speaker 1: he wrote it, criticized his grammar, his syntax, and it

1508
01:27:43,920 --> 01:27:48,120
Speaker 1: was withering. Next kid goes up and did a better job.

1509
01:27:48,479 --> 01:27:51,640
Speaker 1: The teacher had still criticized. Next kid goes up, and

1510
01:27:51,640 --> 01:27:54,360
Speaker 1: so forth. I was about the seventh or eighth kid

1511
01:27:54,439 --> 01:27:58,519
Speaker 1: in a class of about twenty twenty five people, and

1512
01:27:58,600 --> 01:28:02,320
Speaker 1: I stood up and I gave my book report on

1513
01:28:02,479 --> 01:28:08,640
Speaker 1: Don Quixote by the Savante's, and I was fluent. My

1514
01:28:08,680 --> 01:28:14,120
Speaker 1: addiction was spot on, the grammar was excellent, the syntax

1515
01:28:14,200 --> 01:28:20,640
Speaker 1: was superb. The whole class was stunned. And when I

1516
01:28:20,720 --> 01:28:27,680
Speaker 1: finished and I sat down, the teacher had no criticism whatsoever.

1517
01:28:29,320 --> 01:28:32,120
Speaker 1: In fact, there were two more students who gave the

1518
01:28:32,240 --> 01:28:34,360
Speaker 1: reports until she finally turned to me and said, oh,

1519
01:28:34,400 --> 01:28:36,439
Speaker 1: excuse me, mister Elders, there was one thing that you said,

1520
01:28:36,680 --> 01:28:41,400
Speaker 1: and it was very minor. And I went home and

1521
01:28:41,439 --> 01:28:44,840
Speaker 1: I told my mom about this. The first day. By

1522
01:28:44,880 --> 01:28:47,439
Speaker 1: the way I came home from Crenshaw from Fairfax, I

1523
01:28:47,479 --> 01:28:50,040
Speaker 1: was crying. I told my mom about how much better

1524
01:28:50,120 --> 01:28:52,760
Speaker 1: these students were, how much more advanced they were, and

1525
01:28:52,800 --> 01:28:55,320
Speaker 1: that I felt ripped off. And I knew I was

1526
01:28:55,720 --> 01:28:58,040
Speaker 1: good as they were. I knew that I had the smarts.

1527
01:28:58,280 --> 01:29:00,559
Speaker 1: I just knew that year after year, year of the year,

1528
01:29:00,600 --> 01:29:03,479
Speaker 1: I felt further and further behind because the expectation was

1529
01:29:03,520 --> 01:29:06,479
Speaker 1: so low. And I told her how unfair it was

1530
01:29:06,800 --> 01:29:08,760
Speaker 1: and how angry I was about all of this, and

1531
01:29:08,800 --> 01:29:10,640
Speaker 1: I should have gone to a better school that was

1532
01:29:10,640 --> 01:29:15,120
Speaker 1: more demanding, where the expectation would have been higher. My

1533
01:29:15,760 --> 01:29:19,599
Speaker 1: mom sat me down and she said, Larry, I don't

1534
01:29:19,720 --> 01:29:22,439
Speaker 1: know what to do about this. I couldn't have taken

1535
01:29:22,479 --> 01:29:24,880
Speaker 1: you anywhere. We had no money to put you anywhere else.

1536
01:29:25,720 --> 01:29:29,640
Speaker 1: But maybe someday, when you are older and you are

1537
01:29:29,640 --> 01:29:32,320
Speaker 1: in a position of authority, maybe someday you can do

1538
01:29:32,400 --> 01:29:35,479
Speaker 1: something about this. So fast forward. I told her what

1539
01:29:35,560 --> 01:29:38,800
Speaker 1: happened with this book report on Savante's and I told

1540
01:29:38,800 --> 01:29:41,599
Speaker 1: her how stunned these kids were because they had assumed

1541
01:29:41,600 --> 01:29:44,000
Speaker 1: that I just did not have the ability. They assumed

1542
01:29:44,080 --> 01:29:46,639
Speaker 1: I wasn't just that smart. They're all nice, by the way,

1543
01:29:47,240 --> 01:29:51,240
Speaker 1: all gracious, all very helpful, there were no a holes.

1544
01:29:52,000 --> 01:29:55,880
Speaker 1: They just assumed that, well, maybe they were buying into

1545
01:29:55,880 --> 01:29:58,720
Speaker 1: some sort of stereotype, which I did not help to eradicate.

1546
01:29:59,680 --> 01:30:03,120
Speaker 1: But at the end of that book report, they all

1547
01:30:03,160 --> 01:30:07,200
Speaker 1: began treating me differently. And that is why I am

1548
01:30:07,320 --> 01:30:10,360
Speaker 1: such a proponent. I told my dad of vouchers, of

1549
01:30:10,400 --> 01:30:12,080
Speaker 1: allowing the parents to take their kid out of an

1550
01:30:12,120 --> 01:30:15,880
Speaker 1: underperforming school where the expectations are real low, where there's

1551
01:30:15,960 --> 01:30:18,240
Speaker 1: often violence, where many of the kids don't give a

1552
01:30:18,320 --> 01:30:22,240
Speaker 1: rip about academies whatsoever, and give these kids who are

1553
01:30:22,400 --> 01:30:26,240
Speaker 1: good and hard and upperly mobile and interested in education

1554
01:30:26,520 --> 01:30:29,040
Speaker 1: and opportunity to go to a better place. And that's

1555
01:30:29,080 --> 01:30:31,760
Speaker 1: what a voucher program will do, where you give the

1556
01:30:31,840 --> 01:30:34,640
Speaker 1: parents the money follows the student rather than the other

1557
01:30:34,680 --> 01:30:36,880
Speaker 1: way around. So I told my dad all of this,

1558
01:30:37,200 --> 01:30:39,000
Speaker 1: and again, my dad dropped out of school when he

1559
01:30:39,000 --> 01:30:41,160
Speaker 1: was in eighth grade, so he was fascinated by all

1560
01:30:41,160 --> 01:30:45,280
Speaker 1: of this. And I said that the inner city kids,

1561
01:30:45,720 --> 01:30:48,320
Speaker 1: the ones that go to school like we did are

1562
01:30:48,360 --> 01:30:52,360
Speaker 1: getting ripped off, and how incredibly, incredibly unfair it is,

1563
01:30:53,320 --> 01:30:56,439
Speaker 1: and it starts you on a whole different lower cycle.

1564
01:30:57,479 --> 01:31:00,280
Speaker 1: You don't try as hard, you don't study as hard,

1565
01:31:00,560 --> 01:31:03,439
Speaker 1: you don't concentrate as hard, your own expectations are not

1566
01:31:03,479 --> 01:31:06,040
Speaker 1: as good, and you are at a competitive disadvantage the

1567
01:31:06,040 --> 01:31:09,559
Speaker 1: rest of your life. And my father said, I'm hearing you.

1568
01:31:11,200 --> 01:31:14,920
Speaker 1: My parents were always strong proponents of education, always believed

1569
01:31:14,960 --> 01:31:19,719
Speaker 1: in it. And anyway, it's one of the many, many

1570
01:31:19,760 --> 01:31:22,479
Speaker 1: things I told my dad about my life as he

1571
01:31:22,520 --> 01:31:25,400
Speaker 1: and I were becoming friends again. Triple eight nine seventy

1572
01:31:25,439 --> 01:31:38,200
Speaker 1: one sage, do not leave town. This is Larry Elder,

1573
01:31:38,479 --> 01:31:41,160
Speaker 1: our number three, dear father, dear son two lives. Eight

1574
01:31:41,200 --> 01:31:45,000
Speaker 1: hours about my eight hour conversation with my father after

1575
01:31:45,040 --> 01:31:47,679
Speaker 1: not having spoken to him for ten years over something

1576
01:31:47,720 --> 01:31:50,400
Speaker 1: that in retrospect, as you've heard, turns out to be

1577
01:31:50,640 --> 01:31:55,320
Speaker 1: something pretty trivial. So my dad asked me why I

1578
01:31:55,360 --> 01:31:57,080
Speaker 1: didn't want to have kids. Now, keep in mind, I'm

1579
01:31:57,080 --> 01:31:58,479
Speaker 1: twenty five years old as he and I are having

1580
01:31:58,479 --> 01:32:02,960
Speaker 1: this conversation, now considerably older, and I still don't have kids.

1581
01:32:05,040 --> 01:32:08,080
Speaker 1: And I told him that when I was growing up,

1582
01:32:08,560 --> 01:32:12,439
Speaker 1: and I was watching him and my mother, and it

1583
01:32:12,439 --> 01:32:15,120
Speaker 1: seemed like there was tension in the household, and the

1584
01:32:15,320 --> 01:32:18,439
Speaker 1: tension was all about us, what you were going to buy,

1585
01:32:18,479 --> 01:32:22,120
Speaker 1: what you couldn't afford, what kirkus said, what kirk had done,

1586
01:32:22,200 --> 01:32:24,960
Speaker 1: what Dennis had done, what Larry wanted to do, what

1587
01:32:25,000 --> 01:32:27,519
Speaker 1: you couldn't afford for what Larry wanted to do. And

1588
01:32:27,560 --> 01:32:32,800
Speaker 1: it just seemed like so much stress. And so I

1589
01:32:32,920 --> 01:32:35,320
Speaker 1: vowed early on that I was not going to have kids.

1590
01:32:35,880 --> 01:32:38,640
Speaker 1: I also told my dad that I never wanted to

1591
01:32:38,680 --> 01:32:41,799
Speaker 1: have a kid feel about me the way I felt

1592
01:32:41,800 --> 01:32:45,120
Speaker 1: about him. When I was growing up, I intensely disliked

1593
01:32:45,120 --> 01:32:47,280
Speaker 1: my dad, and I did not want to create a

1594
01:32:47,360 --> 01:32:51,679
Speaker 1: child who intensely disliked me. And I told my dad

1595
01:32:51,760 --> 01:32:55,600
Speaker 1: that the way households worked at least hours did it

1596
01:32:55,720 --> 01:32:57,599
Speaker 1: was waiting until your dad comes home when you did

1597
01:32:57,600 --> 01:32:59,360
Speaker 1: something bad. Wait until your dad comes home when you

1598
01:32:59,400 --> 01:33:02,040
Speaker 1: did something bad. So when my father walked in the house,

1599
01:33:02,120 --> 01:33:05,000
Speaker 1: I knew that it was bad news. And my dad

1600
01:33:05,080 --> 01:33:10,320
Speaker 1: laughed about this, and I said, you're laughing. It wasn't

1601
01:33:10,400 --> 01:33:14,360
Speaker 1: until I got into college that I saw parents who

1602
01:33:14,479 --> 01:33:17,839
Speaker 1: generally seem to like each other where they got along

1603
01:33:18,000 --> 01:33:20,559
Speaker 1: and where they laughed. And I told my dad about

1604
01:33:20,560 --> 01:33:23,439
Speaker 1: the time my roommate wanted me to come and visit

1605
01:33:23,479 --> 01:33:26,080
Speaker 1: his house. He lived in McClean, Virginia. His dad worked

1606
01:33:26,080 --> 01:33:30,000
Speaker 1: for the CIA. They had a big house with a maid.

1607
01:33:30,400 --> 01:33:35,280
Speaker 1: I've never seen anything like it. And when the car

1608
01:33:35,320 --> 01:33:38,160
Speaker 1: pulled up and my friend got out of the car,

1609
01:33:39,080 --> 01:33:43,360
Speaker 1: his dad said to my roommate, now your mother at

1610
01:33:43,360 --> 01:33:44,920
Speaker 1: the top of your mother's at the top of the stairs,

1611
01:33:45,040 --> 01:33:47,080
Speaker 1: run up there, give her kiss and pretend like you, mister.

1612
01:33:48,040 --> 01:33:51,560
Speaker 1: And it was hysterical. He was so sarcastic. And I

1613
01:33:51,720 --> 01:33:55,360
Speaker 1: never had fun with my dad like this anyway. That

1614
01:33:55,400 --> 01:34:01,160
Speaker 1: whole weekend, I was watching my friend's parents interact, laugh

1615
01:34:01,200 --> 01:34:06,040
Speaker 1: at each other, show affection overtly, and I realized that

1616
01:34:06,080 --> 01:34:10,000
Speaker 1: there were houses like that. I had other roommates, other

1617
01:34:10,080 --> 01:34:13,040
Speaker 1: people up and down the hall in the dorm where

1618
01:34:13,080 --> 01:34:16,280
Speaker 1: I lived, and I'd be invited to their homes and

1619
01:34:16,320 --> 01:34:19,559
Speaker 1: their parents got along, and their parents laughed together, and

1620
01:34:19,640 --> 01:34:22,960
Speaker 1: their parents seemed to feel it was like a friendship.

1621
01:34:23,520 --> 01:34:25,800
Speaker 1: And I realized that, no, it didn't have to be

1622
01:34:25,840 --> 01:34:32,639
Speaker 1: this way now. My desire not to have kids did

1623
01:34:32,640 --> 01:34:37,120
Speaker 1: not at all have the same kind of reaction to

1624
01:34:38,000 --> 01:34:41,519
Speaker 1: my two brothers. My two brothers did the opposite. My

1625
01:34:41,760 --> 01:34:45,599
Speaker 1: older brother, Kirk ended up having three kids. My younger brother,

1626
01:34:45,600 --> 01:34:48,840
Speaker 1: Dennis ended up having five kids. They reacted to what

1627
01:34:49,240 --> 01:34:52,720
Speaker 1: I perceived to be stress and kind of a not

1628
01:34:52,840 --> 01:34:56,040
Speaker 1: fun household in a very different way. Their reaction was,

1629
01:34:56,280 --> 01:34:58,800
Speaker 1: I'm going to do it very differently. I'm going to

1630
01:34:58,880 --> 01:35:01,360
Speaker 1: have kids, and I'm going to have kids and raise

1631
01:35:01,400 --> 01:35:04,320
Speaker 1: them differently, and raise them in a way where they

1632
01:35:04,400 --> 01:35:07,799
Speaker 1: feel towards me the way I wanted to feel towards

1633
01:35:07,840 --> 01:35:11,759
Speaker 1: my father. And so it's fascinating how it affected us differently.

1634
01:35:12,360 --> 01:35:14,479
Speaker 1: And so I used to feel that the reason I

1635
01:35:14,520 --> 01:35:16,880
Speaker 1: didn't want to have kids had to do with the

1636
01:35:16,920 --> 01:35:19,240
Speaker 1: way I perceived my parents. And then when I got

1637
01:35:19,240 --> 01:35:22,120
Speaker 1: older and my dad and I talked about this later

1638
01:35:22,160 --> 01:35:26,760
Speaker 1: on after the book, I think I had very little

1639
01:35:26,760 --> 01:35:28,639
Speaker 1: to do with that. I think that I was always driven,

1640
01:35:28,640 --> 01:35:31,240
Speaker 1: I always had different priorities. I was always interested in

1641
01:35:31,320 --> 01:35:37,120
Speaker 1: doing other things. Because if it was simply the perceived

1642
01:35:37,240 --> 01:35:39,599
Speaker 1: lack of joy in my house, and believe me, it

1643
01:35:39,640 --> 01:35:42,320
Speaker 1: was often joyless, then you would have expected Kirk and

1644
01:35:42,360 --> 01:35:44,280
Speaker 1: Dennis to have had the same reaction but they didn't,

1645
01:35:44,520 --> 01:35:46,880
Speaker 1: so I don't think it had anything to do with

1646
01:35:46,920 --> 01:35:49,639
Speaker 1: you and you and mom anymore. Dad. I think it

1647
01:35:49,400 --> 01:35:51,400
Speaker 1: had to do with me and what I wanted to

1648
01:35:51,439 --> 01:35:52,720
Speaker 1: do and where I wanted to go, and how I

1649
01:35:52,720 --> 01:35:55,120
Speaker 1: wanted to spend my time, and that I always wanted

1650
01:35:55,160 --> 01:35:59,160
Speaker 1: to travel a lot. And I realized and appreciated how

1651
01:35:59,200 --> 01:36:03,120
Speaker 1: hard it is to raise children, how responsible you have

1652
01:36:03,200 --> 01:36:05,720
Speaker 1: to be as a parent, how much time it is,

1653
01:36:05,880 --> 01:36:08,880
Speaker 1: how labor intensive it is, as we would say in

1654
01:36:08,960 --> 01:36:11,559
Speaker 1: economics class, and I really wasn't interested in doing it.

1655
01:36:11,800 --> 01:36:13,800
Speaker 1: I'm happy I told my dad that you and Mom

1656
01:36:13,840 --> 01:36:18,800
Speaker 1: felt differently. Otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation, and

1657
01:36:18,840 --> 01:36:22,800
Speaker 1: he laughed. Triple eight nine seven one sage triple eight

1658
01:36:22,880 --> 01:36:25,719
Speaker 1: nine seventy one seven two four three. This is Larry Elder.

1659
01:36:26,000 --> 01:36:34,920
Speaker 1: Do not leave town. This is Larry Elder, dear father,

1660
01:36:35,040 --> 01:36:38,200
Speaker 1: dear son too lives. Eight hours Hour number three, a

1661
01:36:38,200 --> 01:36:41,280
Speaker 1: book about a eight hour conversation that I had with

1662
01:36:41,320 --> 01:36:43,040
Speaker 1: my father after he and I did not speak for

1663
01:36:43,080 --> 01:36:47,439
Speaker 1: almost ten years. I was telling you earlier about Muhammad,

1664
01:36:47,600 --> 01:36:51,519
Speaker 1: and my dad had asked about him and when I

1665
01:36:51,680 --> 01:36:56,160
Speaker 1: would come back from college, even though Muhammad had changed

1666
01:36:56,200 --> 01:36:58,120
Speaker 1: his name. Even though he was surly, even though he

1667
01:36:58,160 --> 01:37:01,200
Speaker 1: had this hostile attitude towards the word, I would still

1668
01:37:01,240 --> 01:37:04,439
Speaker 1: go and see him. And my dad one time asked

1669
01:37:04,439 --> 01:37:08,559
Speaker 1: me why, and I told him about how close Muhammad

1670
01:37:08,560 --> 01:37:11,519
Speaker 1: and I were. We were growing up closer than my

1671
01:37:11,560 --> 01:37:14,000
Speaker 1: brothers than I were, and I just did not feel

1672
01:37:14,000 --> 01:37:17,280
Speaker 1: comfortable completely abandoning him. And I told my dad some

1673
01:37:17,320 --> 01:37:19,800
Speaker 1: of the things that Mohammad had done with me and

1674
01:37:19,880 --> 01:37:24,200
Speaker 1: for me. He said, like what I said, Well, there

1675
01:37:24,320 --> 01:37:27,519
Speaker 1: was a kid in my school who used to bully me.

1676
01:37:28,520 --> 01:37:32,639
Speaker 1: Real tall, real big, real strong. And he had another

1677
01:37:32,720 --> 01:37:36,599
Speaker 1: friend and the two of them would bully me on

1678
01:37:36,640 --> 01:37:39,720
Speaker 1: the way home from school quite often. And I'm a

1679
01:37:39,720 --> 01:37:43,960
Speaker 1: little kid and I'm skinny, and they would push me

1680
01:37:44,000 --> 01:37:47,800
Speaker 1: from behind, knock down my books, and they would do

1681
01:37:47,840 --> 01:37:53,640
Speaker 1: this pretty consistently. One time I was coming home from

1682
01:37:53,720 --> 01:37:55,559
Speaker 1: school and the two of them were behind me and

1683
01:37:55,600 --> 01:37:58,559
Speaker 1: they were pushing me and they were bullying me, and

1684
01:37:58,640 --> 01:38:03,280
Speaker 1: I heard a voice and the voice was, hey, elder,

1685
01:38:04,520 --> 01:38:09,080
Speaker 1: don't run, and it was Mohammed and he'd just come

1686
01:38:09,120 --> 01:38:11,479
Speaker 1: back from baseball practice. He was always playing some sort

1687
01:38:11,479 --> 01:38:15,240
Speaker 1: of sport, and he came running over to where these

1688
01:38:15,280 --> 01:38:21,000
Speaker 1: two people were and he said to me, Larry, hold

1689
01:38:21,360 --> 01:38:25,080
Speaker 1: my glove, and he handed me his baseball glove and

1690
01:38:25,120 --> 01:38:27,920
Speaker 1: he bawled up his fists. He said, the next one

1691
01:38:27,960 --> 01:38:31,759
Speaker 1: of you mfs that does anything to Larry, I'm gonna

1692
01:38:31,840 --> 01:38:37,799
Speaker 1: lay you out. Now. One of these kids was bigger

1693
01:38:37,840 --> 01:38:43,400
Speaker 1: than Mohammad and arguably stronger, but he was intimidated. And

1694
01:38:43,720 --> 01:38:46,720
Speaker 1: the tall kid looked at the other kid and he

1695
01:38:46,800 --> 01:38:50,200
Speaker 1: looked back at Mohammad, and they turned around and ran.

1696
01:38:51,880 --> 01:38:54,680
Speaker 1: It was one of those John Wayne moments, and it

1697
01:38:54,760 --> 01:39:02,840
Speaker 1: was amazing, and Muhammad was funny. We'd always do crazy things.

1698
01:39:03,840 --> 01:39:06,639
Speaker 1: One time, my mother had a rental car. The car

1699
01:39:06,720 --> 01:39:08,320
Speaker 1: had some problems that it was in the shops. We

1700
01:39:08,360 --> 01:39:11,479
Speaker 1: had a rental car, and you know how people drive

1701
01:39:11,560 --> 01:39:13,559
Speaker 1: rental cars when they know it's not their own car.

1702
01:39:15,479 --> 01:39:18,200
Speaker 1: So Muhammad and I got into the rental car one

1703
01:39:18,200 --> 01:39:22,679
Speaker 1: time and we drove on to the baseball field of

1704
01:39:22,720 --> 01:39:26,120
Speaker 1: my high school. This is it night. Nobody was around,

1705
01:39:26,960 --> 01:39:29,599
Speaker 1: and I acted as if I was at home plate.

1706
01:39:30,200 --> 01:39:33,040
Speaker 1: Keep in mind, were sitting in the car. And I

1707
01:39:33,160 --> 01:39:36,960
Speaker 1: hit the ball and I put the pedal to the

1708
01:39:36,960 --> 01:39:42,839
Speaker 1: medal and screamed towards first base, rounded first base, rounded

1709
01:39:42,880 --> 01:39:46,519
Speaker 1: second base, all in the car rounded third base, rounded

1710
01:39:46,560 --> 01:39:49,719
Speaker 1: home plate, and we're just laughing and laughing and laughing.

1711
01:39:50,280 --> 01:39:54,840
Speaker 1: And then I cut across midfield over the mound and

1712
01:39:54,920 --> 01:40:02,200
Speaker 1: the car got stuck. The wheels did not touch the

1713
01:40:02,240 --> 01:40:04,760
Speaker 1: ground because we were right on the mound. Now this

1714
01:40:04,840 --> 01:40:08,839
Speaker 1: is about one o'clock in the morning, and we couldn't

1715
01:40:08,960 --> 01:40:12,400
Speaker 1: get the car off the mound. So we got out

1716
01:40:12,439 --> 01:40:14,639
Speaker 1: and pushed the car and pulled the car and shook

1717
01:40:14,680 --> 01:40:18,080
Speaker 1: the car. Couldn't get it off the mound. Now time

1718
01:40:18,200 --> 01:40:20,679
Speaker 1: is now going it's now two o'clock, two point thirty,

1719
01:40:20,920 --> 01:40:23,280
Speaker 1: and this car is sitting on the mound and we

1720
01:40:23,360 --> 01:40:28,720
Speaker 1: cannot get it off. And it went from laughter to

1721
01:40:28,800 --> 01:40:32,240
Speaker 1: panic because I did not know what to do. Can't

1722
01:40:32,320 --> 01:40:35,479
Speaker 1: leave the car sitting there, can't call anybody because you're

1723
01:40:35,479 --> 01:40:38,040
Speaker 1: not supposed to be there. What the hell we supposed

1724
01:40:38,040 --> 01:40:40,200
Speaker 1: to do? So we got back in the car and

1725
01:40:40,280 --> 01:40:41,960
Speaker 1: rocked it and rocked it and rocked it and rocked it,

1726
01:40:42,000 --> 01:40:46,479
Speaker 1: and finally the wheels touched the dirt and got the

1727
01:40:46,479 --> 01:40:51,000
Speaker 1: car off the mound. But I was scared to death.

1728
01:40:51,479 --> 01:40:53,960
Speaker 1: And now it's funny, but I saw my life flashing

1729
01:40:54,000 --> 01:40:56,599
Speaker 1: before me. I knew my mom was gonna find out,

1730
01:40:56,640 --> 01:40:59,080
Speaker 1: my dad was gonna find out. I was dead meat,

1731
01:40:59,360 --> 01:41:01,400
Speaker 1: to say nothing of the ridicule, because the kids at

1732
01:41:01,400 --> 01:41:03,400
Speaker 1: the school would know this mound, this car sitting on

1733
01:41:03,439 --> 01:41:05,320
Speaker 1: the mound, and know who did it. But finally we

1734
01:41:05,360 --> 01:41:07,880
Speaker 1: got it off. That's some of the many, many crazy

1735
01:41:07,920 --> 01:41:13,719
Speaker 1: things that we did. One time, my friend Mohammad got

1736
01:41:13,840 --> 01:41:17,160
Speaker 1: what's called a stink bomb. And I don't know where

1737
01:41:17,200 --> 01:41:19,280
Speaker 1: you got these things, but somehow he always came up

1738
01:41:19,320 --> 01:41:23,960
Speaker 1: with something and it smelled like rotten eggs. And there

1739
01:41:24,040 --> 01:41:26,680
Speaker 1: was a kid in our neighborhood that everybody sort of

1740
01:41:26,680 --> 01:41:28,639
Speaker 1: picked on. I don't know why, it's always some kid

1741
01:41:28,680 --> 01:41:31,280
Speaker 1: like that. There's nothing wrong with the kid, we just

1742
01:41:31,320 --> 01:41:35,320
Speaker 1: picked on him. And so Muhammad decided to put this

1743
01:41:35,439 --> 01:41:39,439
Speaker 1: stink bomb down this guy's mailbox, and the mailbox entered

1744
01:41:39,439 --> 01:41:42,639
Speaker 1: the house. So he puts the stink bomb in the house.

1745
01:41:43,560 --> 01:41:46,519
Speaker 1: And naturally, after putting the stink bomb, Muhammad wanted to

1746
01:41:46,560 --> 01:41:49,559
Speaker 1: go over the guy's house and just to find out

1747
01:41:49,640 --> 01:41:54,240
Speaker 1: how it went. And so in goes the stink bomb.

1748
01:41:54,280 --> 01:41:56,439
Speaker 1: We waited about a half hour, go over to the

1749
01:41:56,439 --> 01:41:58,960
Speaker 1: guy's house, knock on the door and ask for him.

1750
01:41:59,000 --> 01:42:04,519
Speaker 1: He invites in and Mohamma said, man, what is that smell?

1751
01:42:05,720 --> 01:42:09,040
Speaker 1: And the guy goes, ah, some dude put a stink

1752
01:42:09,080 --> 01:42:12,320
Speaker 1: bomb down our mailbox. I know you did it, Mohammad,

1753
01:42:17,200 --> 01:42:20,280
Speaker 1: and he denied it, but he had done it. And

1754
01:42:20,320 --> 01:42:23,160
Speaker 1: this guy just knew he did it and just very

1755
01:42:23,160 --> 01:42:29,840
Speaker 1: calmly said, I know you did it, Muhammad. My dad said,

1756
01:42:30,080 --> 01:42:33,760
Speaker 1: I can't believe you would do something like that. And

1757
01:42:34,000 --> 01:42:37,639
Speaker 1: my dad assumed that I was this choir boy because

1758
01:42:37,640 --> 01:42:39,559
Speaker 1: of my little brother Dennis, who'd gotten into all the

1759
01:42:39,600 --> 01:42:42,600
Speaker 1: different things. But I said, Dad, no, I was just

1760
01:42:42,680 --> 01:42:46,880
Speaker 1: more clever than Dennis. I never really got caught. And

1761
01:42:46,880 --> 01:42:48,560
Speaker 1: I told a few other things that I'd pulled, not

1762
01:42:48,640 --> 01:42:51,000
Speaker 1: that I'm proud of him. My dad would just shake

1763
01:42:51,040 --> 01:42:53,160
Speaker 1: his head and he was stirring his coffee. You did that,

1764
01:42:53,360 --> 01:42:56,599
Speaker 1: yeah Dad, I'm just being honest. You did that, Yeah Dad,

1765
01:42:56,600 --> 01:42:59,280
Speaker 1: I did that. You did that? Yeah Dad? I did that.

1766
01:43:00,040 --> 01:43:03,920
Speaker 1: You never got caught? I said, nope, never have now

1767
01:43:03,960 --> 01:43:07,000
Speaker 1: I've retired. But I never got caught. And he just

1768
01:43:07,120 --> 01:43:11,800
Speaker 1: laughed and we exchanged stories about his past, and I

1769
01:43:11,840 --> 01:43:13,840
Speaker 1: asked him whether or not he ever gotten bullied. He

1770
01:43:13,880 --> 01:43:17,479
Speaker 1: told me he had and one time, the class bully

1771
01:43:17,479 --> 01:43:19,760
Speaker 1: had confronted him, and my dad said, he just kind

1772
01:43:19,760 --> 01:43:22,320
Speaker 1: of stuck out his arm and hit him in the

1773
01:43:22,320 --> 01:43:26,280
Speaker 1: face and it stunned him, and my dad realized he

1774
01:43:26,360 --> 01:43:28,400
Speaker 1: wasn't that tough and proceeded to beat the crap out

1775
01:43:28,439 --> 01:43:30,400
Speaker 1: of him. But he said it was just a defensive

1776
01:43:30,439 --> 01:43:32,320
Speaker 1: thing that I had done, and he found out that

1777
01:43:32,360 --> 01:43:35,839
Speaker 1: most bullies, really deep down inside, are pretty much cowards.

1778
01:43:36,320 --> 01:43:46,000
Speaker 1: I'm Larry Elder. Do not lead time too. And this

1779
01:43:46,160 --> 01:43:49,840
Speaker 1: is Larry Elder our number three. Dear father, dear Son

1780
01:43:49,920 --> 01:43:52,959
Speaker 1: two lives eight hours and be sure join us tomorrow

1781
01:43:53,520 --> 01:43:58,320
Speaker 1: for a continuation of dear Father dear Son part number two. Now,

1782
01:43:58,439 --> 01:44:01,040
Speaker 1: when my dad first started the cafe, he told me

1783
01:44:01,439 --> 01:44:04,160
Speaker 1: that one of his friends said, oh, are you gonna

1784
01:44:04,600 --> 01:44:11,200
Speaker 1: sell soul food? And my dad said, no, I'm gonna

1785
01:44:11,200 --> 01:44:15,679
Speaker 1: sell food food. And we had this huge, huge menu.

1786
01:44:15,720 --> 01:44:17,479
Speaker 1: Now keep in mind this is about a fifteen or

1787
01:44:17,520 --> 01:44:21,479
Speaker 1: sixteen stool cafe, but if you walk in, it was

1788
01:44:21,520 --> 01:44:25,479
Speaker 1: this massive menu. Looked like Jerry's Deli. It was just massive.

1789
01:44:25,479 --> 01:44:29,639
Speaker 1: It looked like an encyclopedia. And all these different dishes

1790
01:44:29,640 --> 01:44:33,200
Speaker 1: that my dad would make and my mom sometimes complained

1791
01:44:33,200 --> 01:44:36,519
Speaker 1: about it because probably eighty percent of the money came

1792
01:44:36,560 --> 01:44:40,480
Speaker 1: from maybe ten percent of the menu. So she suggested

1793
01:44:41,080 --> 01:44:44,800
Speaker 1: that he cut down, trimmed down the menu, and my

1794
01:44:44,960 --> 01:44:48,599
Speaker 1: dad resisted. And I remember him and her having this

1795
01:44:48,640 --> 01:44:52,080
Speaker 1: discussion when I was growing up, and I couldn't figure

1796
01:44:52,080 --> 01:44:55,120
Speaker 1: out why my dad was so resistant, even though he

1797
01:44:55,160 --> 01:44:58,320
Speaker 1: had to order all this food and keep all this food.

1798
01:44:58,880 --> 01:45:03,040
Speaker 1: And it turns out he enjoyed the variety. He wanted

1799
01:45:03,120 --> 01:45:08,400
Speaker 1: to cook different stuff. And when my dad was on

1800
01:45:08,439 --> 01:45:14,120
Speaker 1: the grill, he was like a conductor. You had the

1801
01:45:14,160 --> 01:45:18,080
Speaker 1: eggs over here, had the hash brown over here, the

1802
01:45:18,160 --> 01:45:23,400
Speaker 1: chili was over here, the grilled onions over here, a

1803
01:45:23,479 --> 01:45:26,960
Speaker 1: steak might be over here, and all these things are

1804
01:45:27,000 --> 01:45:30,679
Speaker 1: going at the same time, and you could almost hear

1805
01:45:31,200 --> 01:45:34,600
Speaker 1: a symphony being played as my dad would toss the

1806
01:45:34,600 --> 01:45:36,679
Speaker 1: eggs up in the air. I never saw him miss

1807
01:45:38,600 --> 01:45:42,719
Speaker 1: and he knew people were watching him. And my dad

1808
01:45:42,800 --> 01:45:44,639
Speaker 1: has this little expression I'm not even sure I ever

1809
01:45:44,680 --> 01:45:48,840
Speaker 1: told him about it, where when he knew people were

1810
01:45:48,880 --> 01:45:52,200
Speaker 1: watching him and he knew he was impressing him, he

1811
01:45:52,280 --> 01:45:55,599
Speaker 1: had a little expression on his face like, yeah, I

1812
01:45:55,640 --> 01:46:00,200
Speaker 1: got this, and I understood for the first time how

1813
01:46:00,280 --> 01:46:04,479
Speaker 1: much he enjoyed it, and my dad enjoyed the cafe.

1814
01:46:05,840 --> 01:46:08,680
Speaker 1: It was hard work. You stood on your feet all

1815
01:46:08,720 --> 01:46:10,960
Speaker 1: the time. And I remember one day at the end

1816
01:46:10,960 --> 01:46:14,320
Speaker 1: of it, after we had shut everything down, and you

1817
01:46:14,360 --> 01:46:17,479
Speaker 1: pull the stools on the counter upside down, and you

1818
01:46:17,560 --> 01:46:20,200
Speaker 1: do the floor, and he had a little place where

1819
01:46:20,200 --> 01:46:23,280
Speaker 1: he sat in the back, and my Dad said, isn't

1820
01:46:23,320 --> 01:46:29,080
Speaker 1: this nice? Isn't this quiet? Isn't this peaceful? And I

1821
01:46:29,080 --> 01:46:31,000
Speaker 1: didn't feel that way at all. I just felt exhausted.

1822
01:46:32,080 --> 01:46:36,759
Speaker 1: But my dad felt as if he had achieved a dream.

1823
01:46:37,200 --> 01:46:40,400
Speaker 1: He always wanted to work for himself. He always wanted

1824
01:46:40,400 --> 01:46:42,880
Speaker 1: to be his own boss. He always wanted to make

1825
01:46:42,920 --> 01:46:49,400
Speaker 1: his own decisions. And he loved it, loved it. And

1826
01:46:49,479 --> 01:46:52,679
Speaker 1: I knew that when he retired and sold the restaurant,

1827
01:46:52,800 --> 01:46:55,000
Speaker 1: it was not going to work, because nobody would put

1828
01:46:55,040 --> 01:46:57,760
Speaker 1: their heart, their soul and their loving it the way

1829
01:46:57,800 --> 01:47:01,320
Speaker 1: he did. Join us tomorrow, Part two, Your father, dear

1830
01:47:01,400 --> 01:47:04,639
Speaker 1: son too. Line eight hours lay boom

1831
01:47:06,840 --> 01:47:11,840
Speaker 5: Boom boom mm hmm