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Speaker 1: Life Audio.

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Speaker 2: Build Different is a production of the American Association of

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Speaker 2: Christian Counselors. To support this podcast and learn how you

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Speaker 2: can help us to promote all our biblical content, spread

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Speaker 2: the Gospel, and provide mental health resources and training to

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Speaker 2: people everywhere, just go to aaccfoundation dot org. Again, that's

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Speaker 2: Aaccfoundation dot org. Welcome to Built Different. I'm Zach Clinton,

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Speaker 2: your host, and each week I come to you exclusively

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Speaker 2: on the Life Audio podcast Network.

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Speaker 3: I'm proud to partner with Life.

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Speaker 2: Audio and bring you entertaining, life changing, family friendly podcasts

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Speaker 2: for a new generation.

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Speaker 3: I Built Different.

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Speaker 2: Our mission is to provide encouragement, hope and challenge to

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Speaker 2: help push you past your limits and.

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Speaker 3: Reach goals you never thought possible.

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Speaker 2: Colossians two, verse six says, So then, just as you

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Speaker 2: received Christ Jesus's Lord, continue to live your lives in Him,

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Speaker 2: rooted and built up in him.

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Speaker 3: Amen. Now let's roll.

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Speaker 2: Hello everybody, Welcome back into the Build Different Podcasts. As always,

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Speaker 2: I'll be your host today, doctor Zach Clinton, And today

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Speaker 2: I mean, I cannot believe it that June is here

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Speaker 2: and it is gone. But obviously we've been focusing this

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Speaker 2: entire month on some conversations regarding men's mental health awareness,

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Speaker 2: and now we're stepping into the month of July. That

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Speaker 2: being said, this is a very special episode around July

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Speaker 2: fourth holiday and America's two hundred and fiftieth anniversary. I

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Speaker 2: know about you, but I got some plans with my

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Speaker 2: family to head out to the lake to engage in

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Speaker 2: some of the fun festivities, the parades, raising and just

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Speaker 2: continuing to wave the flag every day, but honoring those

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Speaker 2: who continually.

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Speaker 3: Risk their lives on our behalf.

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Speaker 2: A lot of times, a lot of people view the

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Speaker 2: Fourth of July just about the hot dog competitions and

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Speaker 2: just a lot of fun that comes with it. Yes,

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Speaker 2: it's a celebration and we should embrace that celebration fully.

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Speaker 2: But at the same time, it's not just about celebrating

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Speaker 2: as much as it's about reflecting two hundred and fifty

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Speaker 2: years ago, in seventeen seventy six, our founding fathers quite

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Speaker 2: literally risk it all on our behalf, fighting tyranny, giving

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Speaker 2: away their fortunes, giving away their pride, giving away everything

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Speaker 2: so that we would have the unailable rights to have

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Speaker 2: the freedom and the liberty that we are so privileged

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Speaker 2: to experience here in the United States of America. Something

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Speaker 2: I was just thinking on our way over here was that,

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Speaker 2: I mean, you think about it, from generation to generation,

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Speaker 2: from Lexington to Concord to Normandy to Iwajima, to Vietnam

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Speaker 2: to the mountains of Afghanistan and the deserts of Iraq,

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Speaker 2: generation after generation of brave men and women have courageously

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Speaker 2: continue to preserve those rights, in those liberties that we

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Speaker 2: get the opportunity of living with today. So embrace the celebration,

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Speaker 2: but at the same time, continue to reflect on this

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Speaker 2: sacrifice that being said today for our special episode, there

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Speaker 2: was no one more fitting to come and join us

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Speaker 2: for today's conversation than a man who really has laid

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Speaker 2: down his life for us, Somebody that has risked it

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Speaker 2: all on our behalf. Somebody that has seen so much,

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Speaker 2: that has fought incredibly hard and incredibly well. Man who

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Speaker 2: as an unbelievable testimony that many of you are very

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Speaker 2: well acquainted with.

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Speaker 3: His name is Eddie Penny.

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Speaker 2: Eddie, somebody who is a Tier one operator, a Seal

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Speaker 2: Team six assault somebody who is continually having this life

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Speaker 2: of what sacrifice understands He gets discipline, he gets what

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Speaker 2: it means to execute at the highest level. But now

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Speaker 2: he's somebody that is on fire for God. He continues

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Speaker 2: to not just has a book, but has a ministry

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Speaker 2: around this concept of being unafraid, going all in for

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Speaker 2: Jesus and everything that he does. But I promise you

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Speaker 2: this is a testimony that you are not gonna want

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Speaker 2: to miss. Eddie Penny, my friend, thank you so much for.

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Speaker 4: Me, Thanks for having me, my man.

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Speaker 2: I tell you what, We've spent some time over the

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Speaker 2: last couple of days a Chick fil A and then

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Speaker 2: first swash right, just breaking some bread together, having some fun,

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Speaker 2: getting to know each other, your story, your testimony, which,

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Speaker 2: let me tell you, has been eye opening to me.

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Speaker 2: What God's continuing to do and in through your life

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Speaker 2: and in through your heart and your leadership. Up front,

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Speaker 2: I mentioned that this is a very special episode.

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Speaker 3: Fourth of July.

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Speaker 2: We want to honor all of the men and women

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Speaker 2: and who continue to fight, but also those that maybe

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Speaker 2: have fallen. It's not just on Memorial Day. It's not

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Speaker 2: just on Veterans Day that we highlight and reflect on

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Speaker 2: those things. It's every day of our lives. Make every

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Speaker 2: day Memorial Day, as they say. But this fourth of July,

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Speaker 2: America two hundred and fifty at the anniversary. What's going

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Speaker 2: through your mind and why is it so fitting and

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Speaker 2: so meaningful in such a time.

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Speaker 4: Like this, first of all, two fifty.

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Speaker 1: That's it's kind of like, man, that's a lot, but

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Speaker 1: it doesn't seem like a lot. It's like we would

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Speaker 1: think that it's been we've been around or like building

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Speaker 1: up this this nation longer than that.

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Speaker 4: But it's two hundred and fifty. But it's awesome.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it is so good and it's it's almost

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Speaker 1: you know, you kind of said it. And by the way,

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Speaker 1: I can't follow up like your intro right there, that

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Speaker 1: was like totally that was not scripted. That was awesome.

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Speaker 1: This guy is on point. But no, dude, it's so

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Speaker 1: good and it's it's it's great that we have, you know,

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Speaker 1: the fourth of July and what it all it stands

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Speaker 1: for and the cookouts and getting together. But that like

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Speaker 1: we should have that like full spirit in us for

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Speaker 1: this country, for the red, white and blue all the

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Speaker 1: time and be so thankful for that we do have

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Speaker 1: the opportunity to live in a country, regardless of things

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Speaker 1: that don't always go our way of just it being

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Speaker 1: so awesome and the men and women you know, who

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Speaker 1: sacrificed in many different areas for this country to bring

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Speaker 1: us up the generation after generation, to maintain, you know,

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Speaker 1: what we are able to do that many countries cannot do.

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Speaker 4: It's a blessing to be here.

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Speaker 3: It really is, you know.

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Speaker 2: I just think about the lineage of the military experience

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Speaker 2: within my own family. So my grandfather. In my uncle's bedroom,

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Speaker 2: he has my grandfather's folded flag that they gave him

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Speaker 2: at his funeral. And my grandfather served on the USS

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Speaker 2: Pennsylvania and World War Two. My uncle served as a marine.

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Speaker 2: My other uncle served as a marine in Vietnam. I

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Speaker 2: mean so many things. My dad served in the Army

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Speaker 2: Reserves with my other uncle. I mean all of these

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Speaker 2: different things. When I think down through the sacrifices that

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Speaker 2: are made. And I was taught at a young age, Eddie,

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Speaker 2: I remember going to Arlington National Cemetery with my dad,

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Speaker 2: just seeing the white marble headstones and just being able

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Speaker 2: to I'll never forget this moment. It's like the manicure

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Speaker 2: grass AND's just the somber, sacred space. My dad leans

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Speaker 2: over to me and I was just a young guy

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Speaker 2: at the time, and he starts throwing my back and

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Speaker 2: he leans over and he said, he's thatch. Remember this

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Speaker 2: freedom is never free. And I'm just thinking, you know,

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Speaker 2: we live with the privilege in the United States of America.

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Speaker 2: We live with all of these liberties, these rights to

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Speaker 2: do in a sense whatever we want to have, religious

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Speaker 2: freedom and more. And I'm just thinking, do you think

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Speaker 2: we fully comprehend the sacrifice that is made every day,

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Speaker 2: whether overseas or here, that we don't even know about?

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Speaker 1: Now?

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Speaker 4: I don't think so.

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Speaker 1: And I don't think I fully understand because obviously I

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Speaker 1: can't be in every person's life that's you know, on

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Speaker 1: the front lines doing this or that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's a lot.

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Speaker 1: I mean, there are a lot of individuals that are

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Speaker 1: doing that, and there's a lot of families that know

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Speaker 1: that their loved ones are doing that, so that I

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Speaker 1: mean that has to like spill over. And can't comprehend

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Speaker 1: these things, that these missions that are going on, or

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Speaker 1: people going overseas or going over here to deal with

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Speaker 1: a certain issue or to uphold peace and bring peace,

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Speaker 1: right to make peace. So I don't think we fully grasp,

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Speaker 1: But I know I don't fully grasp, but I know

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Speaker 1: what I know and man, God bless the men that

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Speaker 1: I served with that passed there are phenomenal human beings,

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Speaker 1: very selfless individuals, and like just wanted to take it

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Speaker 1: to the enemy to preserve the stuff that we've been

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Speaker 1: so fortunate to have here.

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Speaker 2: Like you said, peace is something that is also protected

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Speaker 2: and it's preserved. So let me just say, man, from

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Speaker 2: me to you, from our audience to you, just thank

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Speaker 2: you for your service. Thank you for the sacrifice that

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Speaker 2: you made on our behalf. I can't even imagine or

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Speaker 2: fathom some of the things that you had to see, experience,

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Speaker 2: do the missions that you had to execute. But I'm

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Speaker 2: so grateful for men and women like you who are

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Speaker 2: bold and courageous enough to step up to the call

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Speaker 2: and kind. I want to go back in Eddie Penny's

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Speaker 2: story here for a moment. I want to get to

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Speaker 2: know the man right with the story, but behind the curtain.

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Speaker 2: I want to know the backwater to this man's start,

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Speaker 2: going all the way back to what was a Cincinnati, Ohio.

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Speaker 2: Is that where that's where you were born, That's where

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Speaker 2: you were raised growing up playing sports?

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Speaker 3: Who was Eddie Penny back then?

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Speaker 2: And just give us an understanding of how you got

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Speaker 2: into the service to begin with.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I was just one of those kids

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Speaker 1: that were always outside, always in the woods, making spears,

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Speaker 1: forts running around playing sports. I mean, there was never

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Speaker 1: really like the video game. I mean I think I

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Speaker 1: played like maybe a few hours or a little bit.

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Speaker 1: I think maybe I probably had a time restriction like

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Speaker 1: Contra or Gallaga maybe would have been around at that time,

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Speaker 1: played for a little bit. But I was always outside.

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Speaker 1: I always wanted to be outside and did every sport

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Speaker 1: and then kind of ended on swimming when I would

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Speaker 1: thank god, ended in swimming in high school because I

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Speaker 1: was not big enough for the football team. I don't

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Speaker 1: I didn't hit.

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Speaker 3: Puberty like the rest of the guy was like I

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Speaker 3: was a late bloomer.

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Speaker 1: They seemed like giants, you know. I was like, I'm not,

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Speaker 1: I'm not, no, no, no, I want to play like i'd

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Speaker 1: rather So for some reason I got convinced and to

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Speaker 1: put a speedo on and to go swimming. But I

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Speaker 1: loved it. It was so tough, it was so hard,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, man, this is like I like the challenge,

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Speaker 1: like okay, and I obviously need to learn how to

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Speaker 1: swim better. So I started doing that and did it

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Speaker 1: for a few years, swim year round, swim with club

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Speaker 1: after you know, school and stuff like that, and then

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Speaker 1: just always had this once since I was a kid

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Speaker 1: to go into the military, like seeing like you know

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Speaker 1: Arnold movies and solo movies. Just always wanted to like

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Speaker 1: be the be the big guy and like take out

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Speaker 1: the enemy. I don't know why, I just did, and

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Speaker 1: so it kind of like stuck with me, and I wanted.

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Speaker 4: To do the seal thing. Always wanted to do the

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Speaker 4: seal thing.

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Speaker 1: But I had a buddy that was a year older

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Speaker 1: than me, and he went to the Marines, and his

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Speaker 1: family invited me to go to his Marine Corps graduation

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Speaker 1: and I went down there to Paris Island, South Carolina.

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Speaker 1: I was just so weird, like in your views of

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Speaker 1: where you are, I was on the other side, like

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Speaker 1: the fans look looking in and like I want to

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Speaker 1: do this, Like this is awesome, like the obsacle course

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Speaker 1: and the flipping of weapons and like just like hearing

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Speaker 1: about all the things that they did, I was like, dude,

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Speaker 1: this is this is me, Like I want to do this,

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Speaker 1: and they sold me like great marketing, and they probably

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Speaker 1: didn't realize that but I joined. I joined like instantly

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Speaker 1: when I got back to do the marine.

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Speaker 3: So I did seventeen.

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Speaker 1: I was seventeen. Yeah, and then mom and Dad signed

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Speaker 1: for me. They're like, are you sure. I'm like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: which they knew, like that's all I would talk about.

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Speaker 1: I'd be running around the woods with like candy paint

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Speaker 1: and sneaking around the neighborhood and at night, which is

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't advise it. And but they knew I wanted

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Speaker 1: to do it, so they signed a four years and

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Speaker 1: that there was just something in me. I'm like, there's

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Speaker 1: there's more, like I want to do more, and that

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Speaker 1: kind of like got me over to the Seal program.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to stop this right there and jump in

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Speaker 2: to say, you're listening to build different I'm Zach Clinton.

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Speaker 2: We need to break for a brief message from our sponsors.

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Speaker 2: I'll be back with our guests to keep the conversation flowing.

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Speaker 2: Right after this. You're listening to life audio that you're

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Speaker 2: in the Seal Program, and I'm just thinking, you know,

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Speaker 2: I've interviewed quite a few Navy seals in the past,

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Speaker 2: and I feel like a lot of people when they

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Speaker 2: naturally hear that you're a seal. You're placed on like

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Speaker 2: a pedestal because you think of like the highly skilled,

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Speaker 2: the train the discipline individuals. But I was saying about

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Speaker 2: the training that it takes, the mindset that it takes.

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Speaker 2: Something that a guest recently said is that the mind

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Speaker 2: in a sense will give up long before the body

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Speaker 2: ever does. It's really this idea of the mind that

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Speaker 2: you need to be able to continue to build out

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Speaker 2: this mentality, the strength, this fortitude mentally to you to

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Speaker 2: push yourself to levels that you could even fathom to.

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Speaker 3: Begin with, past your limits.

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Speaker 2: I'm just thinking about you, what's really behind the making

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Speaker 2: of a Navy seal? What are some of the characteristics,

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Speaker 2: what are some of the attributes, What are some stories

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Speaker 2: that you have from buds and the training program and

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Speaker 2: more that it was like, dude, that was the moment

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Speaker 2: that I realized that I had more, that I was

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Speaker 2: actually giving the life.

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Speaker 1: What you heard was it? You said?

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Speaker 4: The body goes up before the mind or the mind.

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Speaker 3: The mind gives up before the body.

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Speaker 1: That needs to be switched so the body can give

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Speaker 1: out all day long. It's the mind that matters. It

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Speaker 1: is the mind. And and like there's a. I think

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Speaker 1: it the movie Loan Survivor with the Gentlemen that that

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Speaker 1: passed away. Latrell was was the one that's.

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Speaker 3: Long spire yep, Lieutenant Mike Murphy.

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Speaker 1: Yes, So at the beginning of that movie, they show

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Speaker 1: a bunch of bud students like them on the beach

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Speaker 1: and on push ups and all these things. And there

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Speaker 1: was something I got out of that movie. I mean

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Speaker 1: I got many things, and just to hear the story,

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Speaker 1: the parts that were actually accurate because they kind of

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Speaker 1: hollywooded out, which latrell Is totally said was used for

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Speaker 1: certain things marketing for the military. But the it shows

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Speaker 1: that the body gives up, but you can still see

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Speaker 1: dudes still attempting to do push ups when their body

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Speaker 1: muscle failure has come on, like they're out, but their

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Speaker 1: mind says, no, I'm not done yet. That's it. Like

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Speaker 1: that is it in a nutshell, Like I don't care

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Speaker 1: what you And you can see it in movies all

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Speaker 1: the time, like especially like Avenger movies or whatever. It

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Speaker 1: is is like I'm not done, like I'm not giving up.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep going until like I have no breath left.

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Speaker 1: And that's kind of what it is. Is like, we

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Speaker 1: don't quit. You just don't quit. And you're like, I'm

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Speaker 1: going and I'm gonna find a way. I'm gonna figure

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Speaker 1: it out because I mean, truth be told, there has

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Speaker 1: been people before me that have made this training.

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Speaker 4: So what makes me any different?

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Speaker 1: It's this. I used to always say like seventy percent mental,

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Speaker 1: like thirty percent physical. I really believe it's like ninety

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Speaker 1: five percent mental and five percent physical. Because you do

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Speaker 1: a thousand push ups and I can do one hundred

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Speaker 1: yea in like five minutes. None of us are going

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Speaker 1: to do any push ups are going to smoke us,

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Speaker 1: So it doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. But it's

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Speaker 1: that mental toughness and just like focusing on what that

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Speaker 1: goal or whatever you're trying to achieve. That's the mission period.

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Speaker 2: In his story, there's a story that I've heard you

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Speaker 2: share about what was it a sand flea gone across

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Speaker 2: your forearm? Yeah, take us into that moment, because I

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Speaker 2: know I watched an interview of you sharing that that

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Speaker 2: was like a moment that you realized what the pain

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Speaker 2: was all about, and it helped you realize that pain

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Speaker 2: isn't just something you use, it's something you can convert

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Speaker 2: into fuel, so that way you're ready and more prepared

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Speaker 2: for when the time actually matters. Most talk to us

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Speaker 2: tickets in that moment.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that it's not so. That happened when

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Speaker 1: I was in Marine Corpsoos camp when I was seventeen,

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Speaker 1: and I like, there was a sand flee on me

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Speaker 1: and you're not support. We were in ranks, so you

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Speaker 1: had like the weapon like right shoulder arms, so you're

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Speaker 1: just standing everyone's information. It looks cool, but dude, it's miserable.

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Speaker 1: Like I just I think that's where I realized I

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Speaker 1: just don't like to be still, Like I want to

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Speaker 1: go do things. And there's a little sand flea. I like,

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Speaker 1: look down. I could see him on my arm, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like kind of trying out of my perfial vision

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Speaker 1: look for the drill instructors because they're just watching right,

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Speaker 1: They're just waiting, and I thought I was in the

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Speaker 1: clear and I kind of liked it a quick little

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Speaker 1: brush and got sand flee off. I was like, and

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Speaker 1: I didn't hear anything. I was like, good, and then

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Speaker 1: I heard the worst thing, which is your name, recruit

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Speaker 1: Penny fall out, So I got out. I'm like, man,

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Speaker 1: and I know, I mean it was I moved. It

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Speaker 1: was it was on me. And this this drill instructor

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Speaker 1: took me to the sand pit. They have these sand

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Speaker 1: pits all over the island, over the base, and it's

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Speaker 1: just like a sandbox. It's like a rectangle. I mean

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Speaker 1: they're all different shapes, but this one was a rectangle.

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Speaker 1: And I was the only one there and he was

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Speaker 1: the only one there and there was no one around,

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Speaker 1: some trees and like a shed, and he just started like,

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Speaker 1: give me a workout, like pushups, run in place, you know,

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Speaker 1: acount bodybuilters, all the things, jumping jacks, you know, sprint here,

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Speaker 1: sprint back. And I was like when will this end?

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Speaker 1: Because it felt like it was going forever and I

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Speaker 1: was getting very irritated. I'm like, okay, we get the point.

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Speaker 1: I it'ched my arm. It's not a big deal. Like

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Speaker 1: this is what I'm telling myself. And we just kept going.

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Speaker 1: We kept going, and he's like sort of make me

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Speaker 1: do these sprints. He's like, hey, sprint to the shed

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Speaker 1: and back and you have like thirty seconds. Could not

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Speaker 1: do it. If I was an Olympic runner, I couldn't

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Speaker 1: have done it. It was meant for me not to make

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Speaker 1: it so I couldn't do it, and he goes all right,

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Speaker 1: time just got shorter, and I was just like and

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Speaker 1: it's just back and forth and back and forth, and

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Speaker 1: I'm getting sweating, it's going to my eyes, it's burning

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Speaker 1: my eyes, I got sand all over me. I'm just

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Speaker 1: like in a pity myself like face, and I'm like

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Speaker 1: he's just like yelling at me and do this and

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Speaker 1: do that, and it's just like I couldn't do anything

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Speaker 1: about it, Like I can't quit. It's like I can't

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Speaker 1: do that, and I start, I start, I start crying

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Speaker 1: and I'm like it's like I'm not like like, I'm

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Speaker 1: just like crying, trying to maintain my composure. I'm like, man,

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Speaker 1: I really hood this dude doesn't see me crying. But

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Speaker 1: they're not idiots. So he's making me do it a

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Speaker 1: couple more times, and I'm like feeling so sorry for myself.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, this is not okay. This is like bs

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Speaker 1: all all the things. And he comes up to me

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Speaker 1: and I don't remember exactly what he said, but he

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Speaker 1: looked at me and he's just like stared through me,

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Speaker 1: and he's like he literally like told me my thoughts.

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Speaker 1: He's like, I know you think that just swiping a

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Speaker 1: little fleet or itching your arm isn't a big deal,

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Speaker 1: but if you do that in a possible situation, like

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Speaker 1: in an ambush and a foreign country, it can mean

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Speaker 1: them lies of you, but even worse the people that

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Speaker 1: are with you, your friends.

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Speaker 4: I was like, man, there's some truth to that. I

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Speaker 4: was like, dude, and I like, I was like, just

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Speaker 4: like had that self talk.

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Speaker 1: I really believe it was the Lord now of like, hey,

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Speaker 1: it's not huh huh, like no, this is like you

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Speaker 1: just said, this is fuel, Like just turn your mindset around.

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Speaker 1: You're getting the work out, you're here, Awesome things are

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Speaker 1: gonna happen. You're gonna go do a job that you

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Speaker 1: want to do and passionate about it. So embrace it.

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Speaker 1: And I did and he and I was like, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like thinking, and we're done because he just had

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Speaker 1: the talk, we were not done. And he just kept

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Speaker 1: doing it. But this time I wasn't like boohoo me.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I was like angry, Like I was

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Speaker 1: like a good anger, like let's go, like, let's go

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Speaker 1: ring it's all you have, and just kept doing it.

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Speaker 1: More and more, and I like, I would have gone forever.

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Speaker 1: I mean my body would eventually gave out, but I

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Speaker 1: wasn't stopping and he knew there was a switch and

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Speaker 1: like that that I really believe that was a defining

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Speaker 1: moment in my life from like boy to man, like

402
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Speaker 1: quit thinking that you're just like this victim and realize, no,

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Speaker 1: you have a choice in this matter on what you do,

404
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Speaker 1: what you do not do. So own it and I

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Speaker 1: owned it, and it just it changed everything for me.

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Speaker 1: And that like thankfully that carried over to the Seal

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Speaker 1: program for me, but that was it transfers over to everything.

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Speaker 1: Because I can if I go back to like my

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Speaker 1: marriage or being a father or you know, working with

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Speaker 1: other colleagues, like I can be like how could you?

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Speaker 1: I can easily point fingers instead of like Okay, what

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Speaker 1: did I do? Or how could I do better? Now

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Speaker 1: that doesn't excuse anyone, but I'm responsible for my actions.

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Speaker 1: I am so responsible for my choices and I'm accountable

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Speaker 1: to him, right, and when I chose to do this

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Speaker 1: a few years ago of like Okay, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: do what's right regardless of what my circumstances are and

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Speaker 1: be right in your eyes to the best of my ability.

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Speaker 1: Not that I missed the mark Man, but everything just changed.

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Speaker 1: Everything just changed. I really wish I had that when

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Speaker 1: I'm in my military career, like that same mindset, like

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Speaker 1: just just his awesomeness. But dude, that instance changed everything

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Speaker 1: for me. Like so when it came to buds and

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Speaker 1: we're going to beat you, I remember, Dude, I remember,

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00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:43,880
Speaker 1: like we don't push up, like that's all you got?

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Speaker 1: Called them out, like what are you going to do?

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Speaker 1: Make me tired and improve myself? Like bring it? Like

428
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:52,959
Speaker 1: bring it. You can't break that. You can't break that.

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Speaker 1: Talk about frustrated instructors. They get frustrated, like why are

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Speaker 1: these guys. These guys should be like boohooing themselves, but no,

431
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Speaker 1: instead they're asking for more.

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Speaker 4: Talk about a mind switch.

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Speaker 2: That's a mind switch, that's a mindset not of insecurity,

434
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:07,920
Speaker 2: but like invincibility. Let's go, let's go, let's go. That's

435
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,440
Speaker 2: that's the competitor and yes, and it's it's amazing. It's

436
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,920
Speaker 2: the drive, right, And that's the idea about pain. Pain

437
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,520
Speaker 2: can become your prison that keeps you there longer if

438
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:18,600
Speaker 2: you let it, or it can become your passport that

439
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,119
Speaker 2: takes you places you could have never gone. With that,

440
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,320
Speaker 2: that's the mindset of pain, right, and when we can

441
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:27,639
Speaker 2: convert it into fuel, man, it can take us places

442
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,399
Speaker 2: we could have never gone and do that. I feel

443
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,560
Speaker 2: like that's what you have been able to do in

444
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 2: a lot of areas in your life. And we're going

445
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:34,520
Speaker 2: to get into the faith side, and we're going to

446
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,320
Speaker 2: get into your testimony, and we're going to get into

447
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:37,399
Speaker 2: how work can come home with you.

448
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,080
Speaker 3: But I think a thought that came into.

449
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,439
Speaker 2: My mind is we're talking about training and getting you

450
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,480
Speaker 2: to this point where you're able to go overseas and

451
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:45,520
Speaker 2: you're able to operate and execute at a very high

452
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:47,439
Speaker 2: level when it matters most. But I want to ask, like,

453
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:51,320
Speaker 2: in the midst of all of the training, can anything

454
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:54,560
Speaker 2: prepare you for what you saw, for what you witness

455
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,639
Speaker 2: for what you experienced overseas on some of those missions,

456
00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:00,600
Speaker 2: because what was it, seven deployments over to Afghanistan? Can

457
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,240
Speaker 2: does anything really prepare you for what you saw in

458
00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:06,280
Speaker 2: terms of just evil face to face and the different

459
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:07,520
Speaker 2: things that you had to see.

460
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,720
Speaker 1: Now, I think like the training trains you to do

461
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,720
Speaker 1: the mission, yeah, but the things you see the things

462
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:18,679
Speaker 1: you experience, the emotions, the feelings, the trauma, the aftermath.

463
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:23,560
Speaker 1: Uh wasn't the thought until it had to be a

464
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,400
Speaker 1: thought because it's right in front of your face. Like, Okay,

465
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,280
Speaker 1: there's a beast in front of me that I got

466
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 1: to like take on. And the problem with that is

467
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,960
Speaker 1: I was so blinded to it. But I don't think.

468
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:36,360
Speaker 1: I mean, I know now like if I'm grounded in him,

469
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 1: things would definitely change. But I was not.

470
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,360
Speaker 4: I was grounded in the world, in my fleshly self.

471
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:45,640
Speaker 1: All about me, me, me. But no, the training that

472
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 1: they put us through and have the privilege to do

473
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:52,040
Speaker 1: absolutely trained us more than capable. It was.

474
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:52,719
Speaker 4: It was awesome.

475
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,120
Speaker 1: Doesn't mean there wasn't bad nights, and of course great

476
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,479
Speaker 1: men lost their lives, But do we could do our

477
00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 1: job as a team. A lot of guys like you

478
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 1: kind of like alluded to it, like you know, they

479
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 1: hear the word seals and they think you're all that. Yeah,

480
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 1: like dude, I'm a dude. But if you get a

481
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:10,600
Speaker 1: bunch of us together and we have a mission stand by, right, like,

482
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 1: our team's pretty unique. And it's the guys that are

483
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 1: at back support, running drone support, air all these different

484
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 1: components that make the whole mission work, the team work.

485
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 1: It's not an individual, it's a team.

486
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 2: I want to ask you know when it comes to

487
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,280
Speaker 2: I don't know if you've heard of Dave Grossman before.

488
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 2: He does a lot on combat. Is one of his

489
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,200
Speaker 2: books of an on killing. Yeah, and you know there's

490
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 2: a lot of this idea of like the just war

491
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:41,160
Speaker 2: theory where there's people who you know, would say, well, hey,

492
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:44,119
Speaker 2: I can't imagine maybe the guilt or just what you

493
00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:46,400
Speaker 2: bring home with you after having done what you had

494
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,879
Speaker 2: to do to protect and preserve the freedoms that we

495
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,680
Speaker 2: get the opportunity of living with. Because there is heinous

496
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,959
Speaker 2: evil in this world. Like there's just straight evil. You

497
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 2: have seen it, you have looked at in the eyes.

498
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,080
Speaker 2: You have stories. I remember hearing you share that one

499
00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:00,879
Speaker 2: story of that man who walked into the room with

500
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 2: a belt and just blew up kids, his own children.

501
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:07,119
Speaker 2: Like that is evil, Eddie. I can't even fathom that

502
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:07,960
Speaker 2: level of evil.

503
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you've seen it.

504
00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 2: Let me ask before I get to that question about that,

505
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 2: just the idea of the guilt and the different things

506
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,360
Speaker 2: that can come home with men. I want to ask

507
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:19,159
Speaker 2: you the question of what does evil look like like?

508
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 2: What have you seen that maybe we haven't even seen

509
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 2: when it comes to spiritual warfare and things like that, Like,

510
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,440
Speaker 2: it is so real, it's so palpable, it is out there.

511
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 2: And again we talk about how a lot of men

512
00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 2: live lives of passivity. They are not urgent. There's no

513
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,440
Speaker 2: in a sense intensity in the way that we live

514
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:37,600
Speaker 2: our lives. But dude, spiritual warfare is alive and well,

515
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,720
Speaker 2: and you have seen it firsthand. What does it look like?

516
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 2: What does it.

517
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 3: Feel like when you step in a room like that?

518
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 1: Are we talking spiritual warfare? Are we talking the evil

519
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 1: over there?

520
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:49,640
Speaker 2: Let's talk about the evil first, and then I want

521
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:51,120
Speaker 2: you to talk about spiritual warfare too.

522
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,919
Speaker 1: I think the evil, what does it look like? It

523
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:57,880
Speaker 1: looks like you and me, looks like the guy anywhere.

524
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,320
Speaker 1: It looks like something that's dressed up nice and has

525
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 1: a bell on it. But the intention is not true

526
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 1: and that's more of the spiritual warfare side. But it's dark,

527
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 1: I mean, it is very dark. And you know, one

528
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:15,320
Speaker 1: man's like hero is another man's villain. Like I mean,

529
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 1: I thought about that, like Afghani's or Iraqi's looking at

530
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:22,280
Speaker 1: us there are some that looked at us as like, man,

531
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 1: these guys are really here to help us. And there's

532
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 1: other ones that are trained from parents and generation after generations,

533
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 1: be like those guys are the bad guys the goods.

534
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 1: Remember hearing that, I'm like, dude, there's some truth to that.

535
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 1: That's why it's so important. It's like, Okay, I have

536
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 1: to go to truth. Am I standing in truth? And

537
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,080
Speaker 1: am I walking that out? And that's so important? But like,

538
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:51,000
Speaker 1: the evil is evil. I can't comprehend it. Like things

539
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 1: that we did see and took place, I couldn't.

540
00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:58,360
Speaker 4: I can't believe a man could do that to another man.

541
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,960
Speaker 1: It's really evil. And people would say, well, the things

542
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 1: that you did are the same, and you know what,

543
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 1: they wouldn't be wrong. And I mean I did did

544
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:12,840
Speaker 1: things in good conscience to preserve our team and to

545
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,119
Speaker 1: take out the bad guy that did in fact do

546
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,639
Speaker 1: horrible things. But yeah, I never thought when I was

547
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:20,320
Speaker 1: a kid that i'd be, you know, shooting to do

548
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:21,119
Speaker 1: in the face.

549
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,639
Speaker 4: Or whatever else.

550
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:27,120
Speaker 1: But evil is real and if we don't confront it

551
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 1: with good, evil's going to trample us. In an example,

552
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 1: just look at our country, look at our ideals. Look

553
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 1: at our beliefs, look at our this is normal, this

554
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 1: is what everyone does. We are so played. We are

555
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:46,160
Speaker 1: so played. And I was on the being played side

556
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,360
Speaker 1: for so long and still have areas of my life

557
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 1: where I'm you know what, I'm probably being played. I

558
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:52,600
Speaker 1: don't have the full truth. But that's why I have

559
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:54,400
Speaker 1: to go to the truth and to receive that truth

560
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 1: and ask and seek and knock and please. I want

561
00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:00,920
Speaker 1: to receive it. I need it. And that's the constant walk.

562
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 1: And I don't think we get every little tidbit of

563
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 1: information one that would make us god. But we'll be shown,

564
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,720
Speaker 1: you know when it's when it's that time when you

565
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,080
Speaker 1: know we take that last breath. But evil, Evil's Evil's

566
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:14,400
Speaker 1: very tangible. It's very real.

567
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 3: Evil is very tangible, very very real.

568
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 2: And I know you've been in situations and again you've

569
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 2: seen things that maybe people don't see outright through another person.

570
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:30,119
Speaker 2: But yet spiritual warfare is a very real thing. And

571
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:32,160
Speaker 2: we'll get into that here in a moment. But I

572
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 2: thought came across was just the story of your buddy Louie,

573
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:39,680
Speaker 2: and I've heard you share that story and how that

574
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 2: obviously made a profound impact just even on your life.

575
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:45,560
Speaker 2: I heard you say one time that it's the shots

576
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 2: that I didn't take that haunt me more than.

577
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:48,400
Speaker 3: The shots that I did.

578
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:51,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, take me into the moment with Louis

579
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 2: and just that whole entire comment that you made there.

580
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:58,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think. I mean, there's been many different examples

581
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 1: of like I did not not take a shot because

582
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:04,240
Speaker 1: someone appeared to be this but was really this, and

583
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:06,399
Speaker 1: it costs. Like you you brought up one example, a

584
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 1: gentleman came to the I'll get to Louis here in

585
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:10,199
Speaker 1: a second.

586
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,920
Speaker 4: This Louis was actually on this op is the guy came.

587
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:15,880
Speaker 1: I had a view. I was up on this wall

588
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 1: and I was looking in this doorway and it was

589
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 1: light inside dark outside, so it was very hard for me.

590
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 1: Like I had night vision goggles on, so I was

591
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:24,439
Speaker 1: kind of like lifting it up to look with my

592
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 1: normal eyes and then coming back down with my night

593
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:29,000
Speaker 1: vision to like try to see because just the light contrast,

594
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 1: it was hard to see. But I went up because

595
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 1: I could see better looking without because it was light inside.

596
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 1: And this dude came out with pants and it looked

597
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 1: like he had some kind of belt or fanny pack

598
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:41,800
Speaker 1: on and no shirt, and it looked like he was

599
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,639
Speaker 1: he was like making movements with his hand like he

600
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,119
Speaker 1: was bringing people together. I was like, cool, this dude's

601
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 1: going to come out, and these I would I think

602
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:55,679
Speaker 1: three children, all under the age of probably six or seven,

603
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 1: got near him, and as soon as they were near.

604
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:01,160
Speaker 4: Him, he clacked himself off.

605
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 1: He detonated the belt that he was wearing and killed

606
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 1: himself and those children and whoever else was in the house.

607
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:12,119
Speaker 1: Some luckily got out, some females got out. But it

608
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:14,000
Speaker 1: was like, man, why didn't I take that shot? Because

609
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,160
Speaker 1: I had my dot on his head, like I had

610
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 1: it on his head. And then when they I couldn't

611
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 1: see a weapon on him. And then the kids came

612
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:24,680
Speaker 1: into the picture. I brought it down and I'm like,

613
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 1: all right, cool, they're coming out. And then he clacked

614
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 1: himself out. I see that, And I wish I would

615
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:34,080
Speaker 1: have taken that shot, you know, And I believe like

616
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 1: if I did, there'd be you know, three kids that

617
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 1: got to grow up. I have families and live life,

618
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 1: So yeah, there are. And there's some other instances as well,

619
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 1: or I wish I would have taken a shot, But

620
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 1: the whole Louis. Thing that was.

621
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 4: Really like the op that really just.

622
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:53,719
Speaker 1: Really threw me, like in do some somersaults was I

623
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 1: was acting team leader one night because my team leader

624
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 1: was six, so I just was acting and we were

625
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 1: not primary entry. What we would do we'd have two teams.

626
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 1: One would make primary entry, the other one went back

627
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 1: phil once they did that, like they would do the breach,

628
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 1: like they would explosively reach the doors or whatever. But

629
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:12,160
Speaker 1: this was a week after we lost a couple guys

630
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 1: because they were sucking us in. They were using suicide vests,

631
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 1: so we had to like that just happens. We had

632
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 1: to be careful of that. So we were calling people out,

633
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:23,120
Speaker 1: get all the women and kids out, and then if

634
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 1: guys weren't coming in, we'd either send a dog in

635
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 1: or we'd go in very methodically and take out the

636
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:33,200
Speaker 1: target or clear the target. And it was chaos. At

637
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 1: the front door. There was screaming a guy. I don't

638
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 1: have full clarity of what happened. One guy did get

639
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 1: dropped deep in the house like there was a dead

640
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 1: body by the front door, and a guy stepped out

641
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 1: over the over the dead body came out and then

642
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 1: went back in, which is not normal looking. And then

643
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:54,800
Speaker 1: we got some women and kids out all like a

644
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 1: lot of women and kids just started flowing out. So

645
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 1: I called my buddy Louis. He was an EOD guy,

646
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 1: so explosive ord in his disposal, and he was he

647
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 1: dealt with all the like explosive like disarming um whatever

648
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,200
Speaker 1: it is, blowing them up, getting rid of him right,

649
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 1: make rendering him safe. So he would go up and

650
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, help out the team. The team

651
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 1: that's up there, and there was there was probably like

652
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,840
Speaker 1: six I think there was like six on one side.

653
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 1: And then Louis went behind this pillar caddy corner to

654
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 1: the front door, and there was like that pillar. There

655
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,959
Speaker 1: was an overhang above him, like a very beefy probably

656
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 1: like one to two feet thick concrete. It was pretty long,

657
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 1: I mean like the size of a van, maybe a

658
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: little big. It was big, and and I it was

659
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,240
Speaker 1: just getting so chaotic. So I went up there to

660
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 1: help him out, and I had my hand on his

661
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 1: shoulder and I started looking around. I'm like, man, there's

662
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 1: a lot of dudes here, and I just I hear

663
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,080
Speaker 1: this like voice, I'm getting this tug like just like

664
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 1: get out, move, leave, don't stay here, and which is

665
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 1: really weird for me because I've like I've said this

666
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,800
Speaker 1: many times, I have Tom's disease, terrified of missing stuff,

667
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 1: like I always have to be there, Like if anybody

668
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 1: is shooting anybody, it's gotta be me. Like that. That

669
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 1: was just my mindset, like I want to be there

670
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 1: there's any action going on in the house, like it's

671
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 1: got to be me. Like I would I was a preacher,

672
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,200
Speaker 1: so I'd put the breach on the door, the explosive.

673
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 1: I would set it off, and I'd want to go

674
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 1: into the blast and then tadah, what do we have here?

675
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 1: And then like make that split to say it was

676
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 1: a rush. It was a rush, and I was a

677
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 1: dictatorde it was. It was definitely a dopamine hit. Ti'm

678
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 1: a million and so I wanted to be there. And

679
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 1: that was the first time is I get away? Like

680
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,920
Speaker 1: and it was like external It wasn't. It was like

681
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 1: my conscience, but it was like more than that. It

682
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 1: was just like I never heard that. It was like

683
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,840
Speaker 1: like I like perked me up, like I really need

684
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 1: to leave right now. And I'm like made sense of it,

685
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 1: like there's too many people. If someone truck's a grenade,

686
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 1: like we're taking out a bunch of guys. So I like,

687
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:53,240
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, bro, I'm gonna roll back, and

688
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:54,760
Speaker 1: there's too many guys up here. I'm gonna go back

689
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,040
Speaker 1: behind the wall because I was behind a compound wall

690
00:31:57,080 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 1: was about a four foot wall. He's like, I got this, bro.

691
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:00,960
Speaker 1: I was like all R dude, as like I love you.

692
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 1: It was just weird, like I mean we say like

693
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:05,920
Speaker 1: Levey bro like like casually, I was like, hey, man,

694
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,480
Speaker 1: love you and he's like, leve you too. And I

695
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 1: like rolled out and as soon as I wrapped the

696
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 1: corner of that gate, another house born ied explosive device

697
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 1: went off and just toppled the majority of the house

698
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 1: and dudes got flung everywhere and where. I was like

699
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,960
Speaker 1: once I got my bearings. I mean there was smoke everywhere,

700
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 1: There was screaming. I mean, there was guys with double

701
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 1: compound femur fractures. I mean these were blown out. I

702
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 1: mean dudes were jacked. And I walk into the courtyard

703
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,720
Speaker 1: and like trying to like because it wasn't the same scene.

704
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 1: It was a different scene. It was like just a

705
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 1: little bit of a you know wall over here, and

706
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 1: then like just rubble everywhere, and I like, I feel

707
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,120
Speaker 1: this tug on my leg and I'm like, look it down.

708
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 1: I just see our dog Digo. His face is out

709
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 1: and he latched onto the first thing, which was my foot.

710
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:01,560
Speaker 1: So I'm like, I love you, bro, Like I'm like,

711
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 1: I gotta go, man, sorry, like, and I ripped my

712
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,280
Speaker 1: foot out and it did take out some teeth, but

713
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:07,920
Speaker 1: he got some cool titanium ones afterwards. So the dog

714
00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 1: did survive. I people are like, hey, did the dog survive?

715
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,400
Speaker 1: The dog did survive, and they retired and he actually

716
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 1: went on more deployments. Wo tough as nail dog and

717
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 1: Benny Olsen was his Benito. He's got a book out.

718
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:25,120
Speaker 1: He was at the dog candled. Really great guy. So

719
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 1: I went to where Louis was and it was not

720
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:30,680
Speaker 1: the same scene, but I see that like overhang down

721
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 1: and I see one of my other guys, like half

722
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 1: of his body he's underneath this, and I can tell

723
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 1: he's alive. He's trying to get something. So I go on,

724
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:41,280
Speaker 1: like what's going on. He's like, Louie's in here. So

725
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 1: I try to like kind of like put my gun

726
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 1: down and try to squeeze in because you got your

727
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 1: armor and try to squeeze in as much as I

728
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 1: could remember, I grabbed like I think it was his

729
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,240
Speaker 1: left I'm pretty sure it was his left half, his

730
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 1: left or right calf, and when I grabbed it, it

731
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:57,800
Speaker 1: was like jello, like there was no bone structure. I mean,

732
00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 1: he was dead. And I think, really what happened is

733
00:33:59,880 --> 00:34:03,720
Speaker 1: like that that overhang like caught his helmet and just

734
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 1: kind of like smashed him like accordingon the effect, and

735
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 1: he died right there. And I just and there was

736
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,080
Speaker 1: just all kinds of casualties, and like it sucks to

737
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:16,400
Speaker 1: lose anybody, but like for me, like one, like I

738
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 1: had to deal with the survivor, the survivor's guilt of

739
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,719
Speaker 1: it all, Like I was the one that told him

740
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 1: to go over there. So I go on of course

741
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,239
Speaker 1: in my mind, which the enemy plays off like why

742
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:29,359
Speaker 1: if you didn't do that, he would still be here,

743
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,880
Speaker 1: he would still be in the safety of the backside

744
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:32,320
Speaker 1: of the wall.

745
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:34,919
Speaker 4: And so I like, so what do I do?

746
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,239
Speaker 1: I drink I pop pills, I run the porn, I

747
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:38,759
Speaker 1: do I do the stupid stuff to like I don't

748
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 1: want to feel, I don't want to think process, And

749
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 1: that lasted a long time, but I couldn't get on

750
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 1: my mind, like I had so many questions like why

751
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:53,560
Speaker 1: did I hear that? What was that? And why me

752
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 1: and not him? And why did he die and not me?

753
00:34:57,680 --> 00:34:58,040
Speaker 1: Like I had.

754
00:34:58,080 --> 00:34:59,839
Speaker 4: I had all these questions and like just.

755
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 1: That huge question mark, like just for years, like I

756
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 1: don't understand and I didn't. I didn't realize this. I

757
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,880
Speaker 1: actually found this out years later, which that brought so

758
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:16,720
Speaker 1: much peace to me. Uh mineus like the Holy Spirit,

759
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:19,960
Speaker 1: like you know, giving you intel is. I did a

760
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 1: podcast with her, and I think he was actually just

761
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,160
Speaker 1: on the Sean Ryan, So I believe Eric Frohart he

762
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:28,719
Speaker 1: was deployed. I had him on the Unafraid podcast and

763
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 1: we were talking about that night because he was on

764
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,440
Speaker 1: the other side. He was one of the guys I

765
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:35,640
Speaker 1: got like the blast sent him in the back against

766
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:38,360
Speaker 1: the wall like yeh can custom and jacked him up

767
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:45,440
Speaker 1: pretty decent. But I guess two nights before that happened,

768
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:49,920
Speaker 1: I guess, and Eric was a Christian and Louie, I

769
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:52,160
Speaker 1: guess approached and I didn't know anything about this until

770
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:55,799
Speaker 1: we did the podcast. Years after. I guess Louie approached

771
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:59,560
Speaker 1: my buddy fro Eric, and he asked him about Jesus

772
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:06,279
Speaker 1: and fro said his words paraphrasing here said, He's like,

773
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:08,400
Speaker 1: I just he's like, yeah, I believe. He's like I

774
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 1: really don't feel comfortable talking about him, and he kind

775
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 1: of like he's like I felt like I almost pushed

776
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:15,479
Speaker 1: him away when he was coming to ask questions about

777
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:18,440
Speaker 1: our Lord. And he said on the podcast, he's like,

778
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:23,080
Speaker 1: he's like, here, I am this supposed warrior that will

779
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:26,359
Speaker 1: go into enemy territory for a flag on my arm,

780
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 1: but I won't speak the truth for the one that

781
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:29,720
Speaker 1: died for my sins.

782
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,400
Speaker 4: And he said that I was like, man, that is

783
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:34,120
Speaker 4: so powerful.

784
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:38,239
Speaker 1: And the fact that Louis was something was going on

785
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 1: in his heart and mind. Something had to cause that.

786
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 1: I just like pray that, like you know, he because

787
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 1: it's your heart. It's your heart. It's not all these

788
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:49,960
Speaker 1: things that we've kind of make up, well, you gotta

789
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 1: do this, so you gotta do that, you gotta do

790
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 1: all these things. It's like the Lord knows our heart

791
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 1: and we get we got a perfect example of that

792
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:56,839
Speaker 1: on the cross when one of the things is like

793
00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 1: you are the son of God, and he said, surely

794
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 1: you will be with me a parent, we have these examples,

795
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 1: his examples. So it brings me a lot of comfort,

796
00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 1: like knowing that I had no idea that even happened.

797
00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:10,320
Speaker 1: It just brought so much relief. And what's so cool

798
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 1: is it taught Fro like, no, I will talk about you,

799
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:16,759
Speaker 1: I will stand for you, and I know you will

800
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:18,919
Speaker 1: bless me because I will not deny you in front

801
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 1: of other men, so you will not deny me. It

802
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:26,279
Speaker 1: is so just the stuff that had like come from that, Like,

803
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 1: there's more stuff that happened that night than what I saw,

804
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:33,440
Speaker 1: what I experienced in many people's lives, and there's probably

805
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:36,279
Speaker 1: some that I don't know because we do a thing

806
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:41,400
Speaker 1: called stuff stuff and right now that darkness to fester.

807
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:43,920
Speaker 1: So but that was cool, man, It was It was

808
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:48,439
Speaker 1: cool not losing Louis, who is just like an amazing man,

809
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:53,560
Speaker 1: I mean just an amazing man. But the uh impacted lives. Man,

810
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 1: it was really cool that the Lord can use that.

811
00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 3: It's amazing.

812
00:37:57,719 --> 00:37:57,920
Speaker 1: You know.

813
00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 2: Just recently I was listening to somebody share how we

814
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 2: often in just the westernized culture, we will say things like,

815
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,319
Speaker 2: you know, hey, find the good in the bad, right,

816
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:10,719
Speaker 2: find the good in the bad. Shift your perspective and

817
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:12,840
Speaker 2: we just flippantly say things like this, But to be

818
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,760
Speaker 2: honest with you, idie, there are some moments in life

819
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:19,359
Speaker 2: that are just bad. Like they're just bad and you

820
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:23,319
Speaker 2: can't see the good in the bad. Yet we serve

821
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:29,279
Speaker 2: a God who can make good things out of bad things. Right,

822
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 2: so there's nothing good in the thing, but he can

823
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:35,040
Speaker 2: make something good out of it. I can think of

824
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,880
Speaker 2: like Lazarus in the tomb, right, he didn't approach the

825
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:40,879
Speaker 2: tomb with a smirk on his face because he knew

826
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 2: what he was about to do.

827
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, he wept right before he wept.

828
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:48,240
Speaker 2: Because death was bad, like this is not my intention

829
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:51,319
Speaker 2: for life. But yet he did something out of the

830
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:54,040
Speaker 2: bad thing to make it a meaningful thing, to make

831
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,000
Speaker 2: it impactful in the lives of people. And that's what

832
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 2: I see, even just as you share that story and

833
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 2: just the sensitivity of its to this day as you

834
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:02,960
Speaker 2: share it, it's like, Man, look what God has been

835
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 2: able to do. And having walked with God now several years,

836
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 2: I think it's just so interesting hearing your perspective now

837
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:11,759
Speaker 2: looking back sharing some of these stories of like, man,

838
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 2: God was in those moments with me, He never left me,

839
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,839
Speaker 2: nor forsake me, and look at the good that he

840
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:21,320
Speaker 2: was able to produce, even in the midst of horrible,

841
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 2: horrible things. And so man, when I just think about

842
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:30,920
Speaker 2: what you came home with, having seen, having witnessed, having experienced,

843
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:32,759
Speaker 2: I think of men and women, men who I've sat

844
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:36,759
Speaker 2: across from with things like post traumatic stress disorder or

845
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 2: things like d ID associative identity disorder, where it's just

846
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 2: like man, so much trauma that you come up with

847
00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 2: and war, it's not a question of whether or not

848
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,640
Speaker 2: at will, it does come home with you. War comes

849
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:50,120
Speaker 2: home and you bring all of that baggage into everyday life.

850
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 2: And then you talk about reintegrating yourself into the everyday ordinary,

851
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 2: and it's like you were just on these missions, these ops,

852
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 2: and now you're expected for somebody just to shake your

853
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:01,920
Speaker 2: hand and say, hey, welcome back, thank you for your service.

854
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:05,879
Speaker 2: Trying to connect with a child, trying to relate to

855
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,399
Speaker 2: a spouse, trying to go to everyday life and sit

856
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:10,720
Speaker 2: behind a desk, and like that doesn't even make sense.

857
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 2: Then you realize why people start reaching for something to

858
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:17,800
Speaker 2: calm or to soothe or to bring relief and anestheticize

859
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:20,399
Speaker 2: the pain, the void within their lives or they're trying

860
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,239
Speaker 2: to reach for things to replicate that rush, that dopamine

861
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 2: that you're experiencing in those ops. So it's like we

862
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 2: reach for anything, Eddie. And in that season of your life,

863
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 2: I know you kind of alluded to some of the

864
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:32,400
Speaker 2: things that maybe you reach to, Like, talk to me,

865
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,719
Speaker 2: what was life like for you as you came back,

866
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 2: as you retired from your military career. How did you

867
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 2: reintegrate into everyday ordinary Because that doesn't even make sense

868
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 2: to somebody that didn't live it out.

869
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 4: It didn't make sense to me either, clearly. So no,

870
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:47,960
Speaker 4: I think I think you know you don't.

871
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:49,440
Speaker 1: Think about that. I know, like when you get to

872
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:51,240
Speaker 1: a certain like for me at least, I can obviously

873
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:54,360
Speaker 1: speak for myself as like when you you and you

874
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:56,400
Speaker 1: and you said it too is like people hear you're

875
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:58,799
Speaker 1: naval seal, the Navy sealed. They think you're like this

876
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 1: and all all these things, and you would believe that,

877
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,439
Speaker 1: You'd believe that lie like, oh, nothing can hurt you.

878
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:06,799
Speaker 1: You can do all these things and you know you

879
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:08,880
Speaker 1: can handle it. You were you went through this training

880
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 1: to handle this like it shouldn't affect you, but it did.

881
00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:15,840
Speaker 1: And you can see that now now that like the

882
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:18,040
Speaker 1: years have passed since, like a lot of the not

883
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:20,319
Speaker 1: that combat's not going on, but like what we had

884
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 1: going on with two you know, combat fronts with Iraq

885
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 1: and Afghanistan. But yeah, you got to deal with it.

886
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:30,239
Speaker 1: And I did everything backwards. It was like I'll deal

887
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:33,400
Speaker 1: with it with alcohol. Alcohol, alcohol, I'll deal with I

888
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:41,879
Speaker 1: couldn't sleep, pills, pills, pills, I need gratification, porn, masturbating,

889
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:45,520
Speaker 1: whatever it is, all these things, anything anger, I mean,

890
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:48,080
Speaker 1: just all of it, all the things that we would

891
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:50,480
Speaker 1: be like, these are the symptoms that you can have.

892
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:54,239
Speaker 1: I had them all plus probably more, probably added some

893
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:57,920
Speaker 1: to the list. And but you don't think about it.

894
00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,880
Speaker 1: I think one, you're believing this lie that it's not

895
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:03,359
Speaker 1: affecting you. It's them, not you. Number one line right

896
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:08,440
Speaker 1: of one of the biggest ones. And I and I

897
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:11,000
Speaker 1: fell into that category of like I need to suppress,

898
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 1: like I had if there was any kind of problem,

899
00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:15,680
Speaker 1: I would need a drink. I would need some red wine,

900
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:17,440
Speaker 1: like that was my thing. I just need. It's not

901
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:19,319
Speaker 1: as bad as like Captain and Coach, which I used

902
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:21,759
Speaker 1: to like shovel down, but like that would be my

903
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:25,640
Speaker 1: thing is to suppress. And uh, it really came to

904
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 1: a head when I was going through a divorce and

905
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,200
Speaker 1: I ended up getting custody of my children three kids,

906
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 1: ten year old girl, five year old girl, and a

907
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 1: ten month old boy. As I was still at Team six,

908
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:45,920
Speaker 1: and I'm like, whoa, there goes my identity, there goes

909
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:50,120
Speaker 1: my life that I have no purpose, I have known

910
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:53,239
Speaker 1: what is my youth anymore? And so what I used

911
00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 1: to make fun of? And like how could anyone do?

912
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 1: I had suicidal thoughts started rushing in. I'm like, what

913
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:02,160
Speaker 1: is this? And and I was like and I viewed

914
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 1: my kids, and my children know this, and I and

915
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 1: I've apologized and you know, said I was so wrong.

916
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:11,040
Speaker 1: It's like I really believe that they just like ruined

917
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:14,360
Speaker 1: my life, like ruined my career, like me, me and me.

918
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:16,799
Speaker 1: There's a lot of mes here and which is which

919
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:19,399
Speaker 1: is so wrong and so not true? And uh they

920
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:23,200
Speaker 1: they actually that whole instance, you know, he said, we

921
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 1: don't see what's really going on until like later on,

922
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:30,720
Speaker 1: is those kids saved my life, Like that situation saved

923
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:37,399
Speaker 1: my life hands down. It got me to realize, hey,

924
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:41,279
Speaker 1: it might be you that's the problem, and I was,

925
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,759
Speaker 1: and I go back to like Psalm one thirty nine,

926
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 1: search me, Oh God, like know my anxious thoughts, point

927
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:48,360
Speaker 1: out anything in me that offends you, and take me

928
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:50,799
Speaker 1: down the righteous path, like like please show me me.

929
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 1: Which is so hard for du that is that is

930
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:56,360
Speaker 1: like what probably the number one verse I give to

931
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:58,200
Speaker 1: dudes and for guys to do is like, hey, go

932
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:00,520
Speaker 1: look in the mirror. And it doesn't mean like that

933
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 1: person's not wrong for this or that, but that that's irrelevant.

934
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:05,600
Speaker 1: You're accountable to the Lord, and to the Lord only,

935
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:08,440
Speaker 1: you're not accountable to them or their opinion. You're accountable

936
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 1: to walk with him and his righteousness and what he says,

937
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:12,799
Speaker 1: this is what I have for you, your purpose and

938
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:15,640
Speaker 1: your will. And if we don't do that and look

939
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:18,480
Speaker 1: at ourselves, we are we're gonna miss it. Because the

940
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:21,240
Speaker 1: enemy this world is going to give you these false

941
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:23,799
Speaker 1: beliefs all day long. Stronghold, thank you, whatever you want

942
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:25,600
Speaker 1: to call it, is going to give you those things.

943
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:28,520
Speaker 1: And uh, that was so hard for me is to

944
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:32,319
Speaker 1: look in that mirror and be like, help me, show

945
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:36,200
Speaker 1: me me. And when he showed me me, I want

946
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:39,480
Speaker 1: to devomit. I was like I'm gross. I am I am,

947
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:43,359
Speaker 1: I am so vile, I am so disgusting. I can't

948
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 1: even look at myself. I'm so gross. And I'm like, okay, thanks,

949
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:53,080
Speaker 1: now what like now that I'm like this? But he's

950
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:55,040
Speaker 1: so good, he's so graceful, he's just as love is.

951
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:58,040
Speaker 1: So it's so caring. He's not this like you did

952
00:44:58,080 --> 00:45:00,239
Speaker 1: that you bad. No, it's like, hey, I'm here for

953
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:02,320
Speaker 1: you and I want to build you up and it's

954
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,839
Speaker 1: so beautiful and it's just walking that walk out.

955
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:07,640
Speaker 4: But like show me me is that was where it

956
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:08,760
Speaker 4: all started.

957
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:10,480
Speaker 1: And there were there was rough times There'd be like,

958
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 1: oh yeah, Christ was real, and then I'm like back

959
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 1: to the worldly thing. But I mean, you know that's

960
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:18,000
Speaker 1: kind of tying into spiritual war, for it all kind

961
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:18,920
Speaker 1: of ties under that stuff.

962
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:21,000
Speaker 3: So all does the real war the real war.

963
00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:24,120
Speaker 2: I know that you had a pivotal moment in your

964
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:27,479
Speaker 2: life was as God was revealing really who you were

965
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:30,040
Speaker 2: in the midst of that time where man you were

966
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 2: turning to other things, worldly things to filler an esthtecize

967
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:36,280
Speaker 2: avoid that only only Christ could fill. But you find

968
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:40,439
Speaker 2: yourself at a Christian camp, an intensive weekend and John

969
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:43,400
Speaker 2: Eldridge and Wild at Hearts playing over the screens, and

970
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:46,359
Speaker 2: I'm just interested, you know, in that season of your

971
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 2: life making maybe those decisions that you were making, trying

972
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 2: to fill or find some form of satisfaction meaning purpose

973
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:56,400
Speaker 2: in what you're doing in life. What were you like

974
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:58,880
Speaker 2: walking in Like was there still a level of brokenness

975
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:00,719
Speaker 2: where it was it like what am I doing here?

976
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:03,000
Speaker 2: Type of moment where it's almost like you still didn't

977
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 2: get the whole God picture yet? And then what did

978
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:07,640
Speaker 2: God begin to do? And how did he prune you?

979
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:09,439
Speaker 2: And how did he break you down to a point

980
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 2: where you were willing to receive what He had reserved

981
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 2: for you.

982
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:14,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think at that point it was kind of

983
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:16,440
Speaker 1: that that hold me even going to that camp. So

984
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:18,440
Speaker 1: it is put on by True North Ministries, which is

985
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:21,359
Speaker 1: out of Oklahoma City, and it's like a satellite church

986
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 1: that just kind of takes John Eldris's Wild at Heart,

987
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 1: which is a phenomenal, nomenal, phenomenal book awesome. And they just,

988
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 1: like you said, play it on the screen and you

989
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:32,719
Speaker 1: like they have questions, They have classes like talk about

990
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:35,640
Speaker 1: father wounds, how were the hero how like women are

991
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:38,439
Speaker 1: like the princess to be rescued. Like all these things

992
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:40,239
Speaker 1: are just like things that I never really thought about

993
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:42,759
Speaker 1: because I like, I hear I heard Christian, and I

994
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:44,640
Speaker 1: thought about a dude like in Penny Loafers with a

995
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 1: tucked in shirt and just kind of like very weak,

996
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:52,680
Speaker 1: not meek, but weak. And and that was my that

997
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:56,359
Speaker 1: was my one lie. I was believing because I didn't

998
00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:58,319
Speaker 1: know any better because I wasn't a Christian, I wasn't

999
00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 1: really walking, but I was engaged to a woman that

1000
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:04,560
Speaker 1: was a Christian. And what set this whole off is

1001
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:07,520
Speaker 1: we went out for she had a work party and

1002
00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:10,480
Speaker 1: I was slamming down the captain the coachs that I mentioned,

1003
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:15,000
Speaker 1: and I was I was hammered, like blackout, hammered drunk,

1004
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 1: and I had another one of her co workers was

1005
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:19,799
Speaker 1: like dancing on top of me in front of her

1006
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:24,759
Speaker 1: all her colleagues, and which is not good. And she

1007
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:26,880
Speaker 1: gave me the pretty much ultimatum like you need to,

1008
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:29,239
Speaker 1: you need help, you need God. And I was like,

1009
00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 1: oh God, here's this God thing again. And she's like

1010
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:35,680
Speaker 1: you you need to learn Jesus, like you need to,

1011
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:38,040
Speaker 1: you need him, like we all need to be Like

1012
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:40,520
Speaker 1: you really need him, and she's like go to this

1013
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:43,120
Speaker 1: or I'm gone, and I'm like, final, I'll go. But

1014
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,520
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't know it was I knew it

1015
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 1: was like a Christian thing, but I didn't know what

1016
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:50,200
Speaker 1: that meant. I didn't know what that meant. I was like,

1017
00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 1: I thought for sure there would be like some kind

1018
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:53,920
Speaker 1: of beverage of alcoholic substances.

1019
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:55,040
Speaker 3: Right there was not.

1020
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:58,279
Speaker 1: And so we so we get there and I was

1021
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:00,400
Speaker 1: literally setting up our chairs. I'm like looking for like

1022
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:02,120
Speaker 1: there's got to be like a bar or like some

1023
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:04,240
Speaker 1: dude smuggled in something and I want to be friends

1024
00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:08,759
Speaker 1: with and nothing. And they just start talking about like

1025
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:13,640
Speaker 1: you know, Jesus and God and this like this this

1026
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 1: this world in which we live and like the battlefield

1027
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:18,280
Speaker 1: and like the world and the flesh and the devil.

1028
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:21,480
Speaker 1: And I'm like what. And he used one thing that

1029
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 1: really got me to like, got my attention is to

1030
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:28,280
Speaker 1: use the movie Braveheart with mel Gibson about William Wallace

1031
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:31,120
Speaker 1: in Scotland and the English. And I was like, I

1032
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:32,839
Speaker 1: love this movie. I've seen it a thousand times. And

1033
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:35,600
Speaker 1: he goes one thing about movies. He's like, if you

1034
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:37,600
Speaker 1: look at the components of a movie. He's like, there

1035
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:42,480
Speaker 1: are three components that every movie has. There's a hero,

1036
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:46,600
Speaker 1: there's a villain, and there's a love story. And I'm

1037
00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:50,759
Speaker 1: like going through my mind, which every person in the

1038
00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:52,360
Speaker 1: audience right now is trying to think of a movie,

1039
00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:54,919
Speaker 1: like you can go to like Finding Nemo, you can

1040
00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:57,920
Speaker 1: go to whatever it is, like there are those components

1041
00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 1: in some way, shape or form. It might not be

1042
00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:02,719
Speaker 1: for a woman, it might be for something else, you

1043
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:05,520
Speaker 1: know what I mean, like something a belief system, whatever.

1044
00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:09,759
Speaker 1: And I was like, and he's like, and that is

1045
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 1: exactly what is in the Bible. We have our Savior,

1046
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:15,600
Speaker 1: we have the devil, and we have God's grace, like

1047
00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:19,320
Speaker 1: we have these things. And I'm like, oh my gosh,

1048
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:21,880
Speaker 1: Like I never really thought about that. I'm like, really,

1049
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 1: and I've tried to open my Bible many times, you know,

1050
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:26,759
Speaker 1: do what I'm sure everybody does with a book. They

1051
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 1: go to page one, which I would not recommend unless

1052
00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:33,520
Speaker 1: the Holy Spirit specifically says go here. But I was like, Okay,

1053
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:35,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm bored by page four if that, like,

1054
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 1: I'm done, Like this obviously is not for me. I mean,

1055
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:39,560
Speaker 1: there's many that have said that I said that for

1056
00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:43,799
Speaker 1: years and but I started seeing that and then they

1057
00:49:43,800 --> 00:49:47,400
Speaker 1: give you these like questions and like like things just

1058
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:48,280
Speaker 1: to ask yourself.

1059
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:50,760
Speaker 4: And they said a thing like Okay, we want.

1060
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:52,239
Speaker 1: You to go out like they give you you do

1061
00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:54,320
Speaker 1: like a lecture or like an a lecture like a class,

1062
00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:57,640
Speaker 1: like a video a teaching, and they give you some

1063
00:49:57,719 --> 00:50:00,239
Speaker 1: questions and you like go by yourself and they're like, yeah,

1064
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:02,640
Speaker 1: just pray over these questions. I'm like, what do you

1065
00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:05,279
Speaker 1: just say? You say pray? What he said? That's a

1066
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:08,839
Speaker 1: bold letter word right there, and uh. I was like, man,

1067
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:11,000
Speaker 1: and I like I like sat in my seat as

1068
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:13,399
Speaker 1: like people were getting up and like going to their

1069
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:17,720
Speaker 1: like little wherever to go be alone and journal and

1070
00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:23,279
Speaker 1: it's another word, journals and uh pray. And I was

1071
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:26,760
Speaker 1: like sitting there and I'm like looking at my life.

1072
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:29,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not a good father. I have so

1073
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:34,759
Speaker 1: many addictions. Like horn is like oxygen to me, alcohol

1074
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:39,280
Speaker 1: is like my blood. Like I need those things to function.

1075
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:42,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm pretty sure that's not correct because I've

1076
00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:45,040
Speaker 1: seen other people that that's not a thing for them.

1077
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:50,480
Speaker 1: And I'm like I'm here, I've got to I've got

1078
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:53,520
Speaker 1: to give this a shot. So I grab my little

1079
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:57,879
Speaker 1: grandma little journal and grab a little piece of paper

1080
00:50:57,880 --> 00:50:59,880
Speaker 1: with the questions, and I just go out to this little, uh,

1081
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:02,120
Speaker 1: this little area in the field. There's like some rocks.

1082
00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:04,840
Speaker 1: I saunt out down the rocks, and I like, I

1083
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:06,200
Speaker 1: didn't even know. I like I looked at one of

1084
00:51:06,239 --> 00:51:08,680
Speaker 1: the questions. I don't even know, like what do you

1085
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 1: want to ask God for? Or something like that. I'm

1086
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:13,640
Speaker 1: like like, I don't even I don't even know God,

1087
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:15,360
Speaker 1: Like I don't how do I even do this? And

1088
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:16,920
Speaker 1: and I'm like and I just like I just like

1089
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:22,920
Speaker 1: put everything down, and dude, I just go. I don't know.

1090
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:24,880
Speaker 1: I don't know exactly what I said, like are you real?

1091
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:28,440
Speaker 1: I want to know you like show me something. I

1092
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:30,560
Speaker 1: don't know exactly what, but it was something along those lines,

1093
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:33,040
Speaker 1: probably what we all probably said the first time, like

1094
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:36,719
Speaker 1: where do I begin? And and like at that time,

1095
00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:39,080
Speaker 1: the sun was coming up over these trees and just

1096
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 1: blasted me and I could feel it on my face

1097
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:45,400
Speaker 1: and uh, and then like but it wasn't like normal,

1098
00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:49,239
Speaker 1: it like warm to my whole body, like like I

1099
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:51,799
Speaker 1: just felt this warmth. It was right when I was

1100
00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:55,920
Speaker 1: done talking and I'm like, what the heck's going on.

1101
00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:57,759
Speaker 1: I'm like, I like kind of tear up a little bit.

1102
00:51:57,840 --> 00:52:01,279
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, we're going into like never been here before.

1103
00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:04,880
Speaker 1: Let's let's stop. And I go clearly that was a coincidence.

1104
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:07,480
Speaker 1: Is the time of day, it's the I'm clearly facing

1105
00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 1: the east like that, that's why this is happening. So

1106
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 1: I get my stuff and but but a seed was dropped,

1107
00:52:13,239 --> 00:52:16,000
Speaker 1: like I'm still thinking about this, and then throughout this

1108
00:52:16,120 --> 00:52:16,800
Speaker 1: three day.

1109
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:18,719
Speaker 4: They called it a.

1110
00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 1: Boot camp, but it was in a boot camp. It

1111
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:22,839
Speaker 1: was It was awesome, is what it was. I see

1112
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:25,279
Speaker 1: like people like praying for each other, like putting their

1113
00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:28,440
Speaker 1: hands on them and I'm like, nobody better touch me,

1114
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:30,399
Speaker 1: but no one better come near me, Like you don't

1115
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:32,440
Speaker 1: touch me, don't do your voodoo. Whatever the heck's going on,

1116
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:34,600
Speaker 1: Like I don't want any of that stuff, and up

1117
00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:38,560
Speaker 1: because I know, right, I know, and I started seeing it.

1118
00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:40,799
Speaker 1: I remember I saw this guy. It was an older dude,

1119
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:42,640
Speaker 1: much older than me. He's probably like in this. I

1120
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:45,000
Speaker 1: think I was like thirty something when I was here,

1121
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:47,799
Speaker 1: and this guy was probably in his fifties and he

1122
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:50,600
Speaker 1: had a gray hair and the dude was just like

1123
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:52,400
Speaker 1: this guy was praying over him, and this guy is

1124
00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:57,480
Speaker 1: just like just so sad and like something was said

1125
00:52:57,719 --> 00:53:01,719
Speaker 1: or something was brought to life and like his smile

1126
00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:05,520
Speaker 1: or sorry, his facial expression went from like sadness to

1127
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:10,120
Speaker 1: pure joy like that. I was like, and I saw

1128
00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:12,120
Speaker 1: that from across the room because I'm not going near

1129
00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:15,640
Speaker 1: this stuff. Yeah I saw that. I'm like, what is that?

1130
00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:20,600
Speaker 1: What was that? And like I want that. I get

1131
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 1: this guy's face. I mean the guy was literally like

1132
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:28,600
Speaker 1: I'm a mess too. This is awesome, Like okay, what

1133
00:53:28,719 --> 00:53:31,360
Speaker 1: is that? Like I saw. No, the guy did not

1134
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:34,279
Speaker 1: take a drink of something like or smoke something or

1135
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:35,919
Speaker 1: do this or that, Like he just like a guy

1136
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:39,120
Speaker 1: was praying for him. I was like, man, maybe I

1137
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 1: need someone to pray for me. So I like I

1138
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 1: didn't tell anyone. I would never do that. I was

1139
00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:46,839
Speaker 1: too frightful, but internally I was like, man, I kind

1140
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:49,000
Speaker 1: of want someone to pray for me. And we go

1141
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:52,319
Speaker 1: through the thing and like little things are hidding here,

1142
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:54,680
Speaker 1: like a father wound and like I didn't like I

1143
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:57,160
Speaker 1: think my dad's pretty cool, like you know, and all

1144
00:53:57,160 --> 00:54:00,359
Speaker 1: these different things and like agreements and things that I'm

1145
00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:02,879
Speaker 1: gonna believe in like a pretty good pretty much got

1146
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:04,919
Speaker 1: this figured it out right, which is why I'm here.

1147
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:09,200
Speaker 1: And and at the end of the at the end

1148
00:54:09,239 --> 00:54:13,239
Speaker 1: the last night, which is a I think Saturday night

1149
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:15,959
Speaker 1: they gave you these posts are like, hey, write down

1150
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:17,360
Speaker 1: like stuff you want to get rid of, which I

1151
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:18,719
Speaker 1: had a lot of things. I needed a couple of

1152
00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:20,880
Speaker 1: post its, so I wrote them all down, and like

1153
00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:23,239
Speaker 1: you go to this fire just to like symbolize, like

1154
00:54:23,239 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 1: I'm throwing in the fire, like it's done with I.

1155
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:28,440
Speaker 1: I'm out, like I'm done, because I really didn't want

1156
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:31,200
Speaker 1: to rely on alcohol because my kids see this. I

1157
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 1: don't want it to rely on going to hide in

1158
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:36,960
Speaker 1: my room or a bathroom and take care of myself

1159
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:40,160
Speaker 1: with a computer. Like that's not that's not what I want.

1160
00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:45,480
Speaker 1: It's not like, that's not manly. It's embarrassing and it's

1161
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:47,960
Speaker 1: like a little animal going around to do do something

1162
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:49,719
Speaker 1: so weird. And I'm like, dude, I don't want any

1163
00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:53,520
Speaker 1: of that, and uh, and there's many other things, and

1164
00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:57,399
Speaker 1: so I say, you get up and you can say

1165
00:54:57,400 --> 00:54:58,839
Speaker 1: something if you want to. As I got up, I said,

1166
00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:00,319
Speaker 1: I don't even know what I said. I was so like,

1167
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:02,080
Speaker 1: I'm talking in front of these other people about like

1168
00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:05,759
Speaker 1: see things and all that stuff. And I threw my

1169
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:07,919
Speaker 1: paper in the fire and like kind of like went

1170
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:10,120
Speaker 1: back into the crowd because there's probably like one hundred

1171
00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:10,520
Speaker 1: dudes there.

1172
00:55:10,680 --> 00:55:12,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, and uh, this kid came up to me.

1173
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:13,359
Speaker 1: He was a kid.

1174
00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:15,520
Speaker 4: He's probably in his twenties. Like I was definitely older

1175
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:15,919
Speaker 4: than him.

1176
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 1: I was. I mean, I was pretty big at the time,

1177
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:22,319
Speaker 1: like I'm in my vanity and uh, but he was

1178
00:55:22,440 --> 00:55:24,480
Speaker 1: like just a smaller and he and he comes up

1179
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:26,680
Speaker 1: to me, which many people don't do, and he's like, man,

1180
00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:28,160
Speaker 1: that was really cool he said. I was like, thanks, bro,

1181
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 1: like leave me alone. Know, I want to go, And

1182
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:33,480
Speaker 1: he's like, hey, can I can I pray for you?

1183
00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 1: And I was like and I was like, he're like

1184
00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:43,640
Speaker 1: right now, like in front of I Like that's that's

1185
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 1: these are the thoughts I was going. I was like,

1186
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:48,160
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, man, I was like please, and

1187
00:55:48,200 --> 00:55:51,239
Speaker 1: he like he puts his hand on me, and I

1188
00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:55,360
Speaker 1: have no clue what he said, no clue, and dude,

1189
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:58,239
Speaker 1: I just drainage.

1190
00:55:58,719 --> 00:56:01,640
Speaker 4: I was like, I was a mess. I was crying.

1191
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:05,839
Speaker 4: I was I was so I felt so.

1192
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:09,600
Speaker 1: Touched by him, by the Lord. I was just taken out.

1193
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:13,279
Speaker 1: I was like, this is so powerful and in that kid.

1194
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:15,160
Speaker 1: That the kid he's I don't know if you know

1195
00:56:15,239 --> 00:56:18,200
Speaker 1: Kyle Thompson from Daunted and it was him. He's got

1196
00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:22,759
Speaker 1: the undopted podcast, Great Dude on Fire and it was

1197
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:24,520
Speaker 1: him and we ended up talking for a couple hours

1198
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:26,680
Speaker 1: and no, He's like, man, you should really tell people

1199
00:56:26,719 --> 00:56:29,759
Speaker 1: your testimony. As I bro, no one wants my testimony

1200
00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 1: and it is just carnage and dark. And but like

1201
00:56:34,239 --> 00:56:37,920
Speaker 1: that did something to me. In the next morning, they

1202
00:56:37,920 --> 00:56:40,680
Speaker 1: had like worship service, like when they were playing Christian music,

1203
00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:42,480
Speaker 1: which is another thing that was like taboo for me,

1204
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:45,600
Speaker 1: and uh, like I really didn't want to stand up

1205
00:56:45,719 --> 00:56:48,759
Speaker 1: or like do anything or like just just like, can

1206
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 1: we be done with this worship thing? And uh, dude,

1207
00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:54,000
Speaker 1: for the frame it was And I said this on

1208
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:57,400
Speaker 1: the Sean Ryan podcast Uh ten Thousand Reasons by uh

1209
00:56:57,560 --> 00:57:01,799
Speaker 1: Matt Matt Redman, And I'm telling you, bro, and I

1210
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:03,520
Speaker 1: say this every time because this is what it felt like.

1211
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:06,920
Speaker 1: It felt like there was a drum set internally that

1212
00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:11,319
Speaker 1: was rocking my body. I was like, WHOA, I'm like,

1213
00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:14,360
Speaker 1: I can go to battle right now, like this is awesome,

1214
00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:17,720
Speaker 1: and just there was like a switch. I mean just

1215
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:21,040
Speaker 1: like I don't know and I'm like just and I

1216
00:57:21,520 --> 00:57:23,720
Speaker 1: on the way back, I was calling my fiance who

1217
00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:27,840
Speaker 1: was gonna leave me regardless. But she went to Saint Louis.

1218
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:29,920
Speaker 1: We were in tall so she went to Saint Louis

1219
00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:33,360
Speaker 1: for the weekend and they were there. They went out

1220
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:35,760
Speaker 1: and like within the first hour, some dude like got

1221
00:57:35,800 --> 00:57:39,480
Speaker 1: pushed into her, knocked her down a couch, flipped over.

1222
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:40,760
Speaker 4: And they like they'd left that night.

1223
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:43,280
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm not supposed to be came back and

1224
00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:46,240
Speaker 1: I was trying to tell her about like my experience.

1225
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:48,200
Speaker 1: I couldn't even talk. I was like crying. I was like,

1226
00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:50,080
Speaker 1: I have to call you back, and I like, well

1227
00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:52,040
Speaker 1: call back ten minutes later. I would try to get

1228
00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:55,120
Speaker 1: some words out. I couldn't I couldn't talk. I was

1229
00:57:55,120 --> 00:57:57,760
Speaker 1: so like overwhelmed with emotions, emotions that have been trapped

1230
00:57:57,760 --> 00:58:00,680
Speaker 1: and I even't felt in decades and I didn't even

1231
00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:05,920
Speaker 1: know I had like love, compassion, empathy, like think of

1232
00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:08,440
Speaker 1: other people over myself, like I never I've ever done this.

1233
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:10,800
Speaker 1: I mean here and there right, but nothing like that,

1234
00:58:10,960 --> 00:58:13,120
Speaker 1: like where my heart was into it. I know what

1235
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:15,000
Speaker 1: I should do, but I don't want to do it,

1236
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:16,320
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. But like I was like, man,

1237
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:19,080
Speaker 1: I want to do this, like I want to and

1238
00:58:19,160 --> 00:58:21,080
Speaker 1: I finally get back. I just told her all about it.

1239
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:24,200
Speaker 1: But like that was like a big moment for me.

1240
00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:26,840
Speaker 1: But I but I also didn't understand scripture or didn't

1241
00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:28,880
Speaker 1: understand the power of prayer, didn't understand the word of

1242
00:58:29,280 --> 00:58:31,800
Speaker 1: the power of obedience, didn't understand like there is resistance,

1243
00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:34,560
Speaker 1: which kind of gets us back to spiritual warfare. But

1244
00:58:34,680 --> 00:58:36,480
Speaker 1: like I was like the sower of the seed on

1245
00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:39,160
Speaker 1: like the rocky ground in the thorns, and I just

1246
00:58:39,160 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 1: got strangled after like a couple of days a week,

1247
00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:44,200
Speaker 1: and then I like would come back to and then

1248
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:46,760
Speaker 1: I would find myself in the same habits and hanging

1249
00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:48,960
Speaker 1: out with the same people talk in the same way,

1250
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:52,240
Speaker 1: and I'm like, Okay, clearly this isn't for me. We've

1251
00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:56,320
Speaker 1: heard that, right, this isn't for me. And I just

1252
00:58:56,360 --> 00:58:59,960
Speaker 1: didn't understand it. And it just started my journey like

1253
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:04,720
Speaker 1: trying to dig in more and there was more disobedient years,

1254
00:59:05,160 --> 00:59:08,280
Speaker 1: more I'm doing what everyone else is doing. This is

1255
00:59:08,280 --> 00:59:10,680
Speaker 1: what I like really learned, like with my because my

1256
00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:12,800
Speaker 1: walk in the last few years has been completely different

1257
00:59:12,800 --> 00:59:16,400
Speaker 1: than my first few years as a Christian. And I

1258
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:19,000
Speaker 1: realized like I was fitting in with everyone else. So

1259
00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:21,120
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm doing the right thing because I'm fitting

1260
00:59:21,160 --> 00:59:24,400
Speaker 1: in with my Christian people at church and doing the

1261
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:30,240
Speaker 1: Christian thing. Yeah, I'm doing well, that's the problem. But now,

1262
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:33,240
Speaker 1: because now I can see that that wasn't right. I

1263
00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:35,800
Speaker 1: was still doing X, Y, and Z, but everyone else

1264
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:39,040
Speaker 1: was and talking the same way. We're missing it, missing it.

1265
00:59:39,040 --> 00:59:40,200
Speaker 4: The majority is missing it.

1266
00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:40,640
Speaker 3: Definitely.

1267
00:59:40,680 --> 00:59:42,240
Speaker 2: I was going to ask, was there a defining moment

1268
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:46,640
Speaker 2: during your walk of sanctification as you're just walking with

1269
00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:50,040
Speaker 2: Jesus from that time that that John Eldridge video, the

1270
00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 2: time that you're praying to God, that he's opening your eyes,

1271
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:56,040
Speaker 2: that Kyle's praying over you were the first couple of years,

1272
00:59:56,040 --> 00:59:58,560
Speaker 2: it was like, you know, I knew Jesus at that point.

1273
00:59:58,560 --> 01:00:00,440
Speaker 2: Maybe I knew that he loved me. I believe that,

1274
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:02,880
Speaker 2: but I still wasn't walking in obedience to where you're

1275
01:00:02,880 --> 01:00:06,240
Speaker 2: at now, like just on fire for Jesus, more attuned,

1276
01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:09,040
Speaker 2: more aware to the idea of spiritual warfare. Was there

1277
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:11,480
Speaker 2: a moment in between where it was like, dude, I

1278
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:12,240
Speaker 2: can see it.

1279
01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:15,240
Speaker 1: I think for me because probably my stubbornness and heart

1280
01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:17,880
Speaker 1: heeadedness and whateverness you want to add to it is

1281
01:00:17,920 --> 01:00:23,120
Speaker 1: that there was many Yeah, there was many, but there

1282
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:25,600
Speaker 1: were some very awesome moments. But the one that really

1283
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:31,800
Speaker 1: changed everything for me was it was because next next

1284
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:33,520
Speaker 1: month will be four years sober for me, like not

1285
01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:36,240
Speaker 1: even a sip, Like not a sip, not even desired

1286
01:00:36,280 --> 01:00:38,400
Speaker 1: a sip. And I've tried to quit before. I've done

1287
01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:41,000
Speaker 1: six months, I've done ten months on my will, but

1288
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:43,040
Speaker 1: it was the first time. And this is where it happened.

1289
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:44,880
Speaker 1: And I shared a little bit with you this morning

1290
01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:49,280
Speaker 1: for breakfast, but obviously everyone wasn't there, Yeah, but I was.

1291
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:52,479
Speaker 1: I was in my gym and I had another suicidal thought,

1292
01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:55,600
Speaker 1: which we did. We passed by when I was living

1293
01:00:55,600 --> 01:00:58,800
Speaker 1: in Tulsa and I had a suicidal thought. I'm like, man,

1294
01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:00,840
Speaker 1: I haven't had this for years. I'm like, what the heck,

1295
01:01:00,880 --> 01:01:03,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, how am I still here? Like I just

1296
01:01:03,040 --> 01:01:05,680
Speaker 1: like I was arguing with my wife and and just

1297
01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:07,840
Speaker 1: like it just seemed like I was failing at a father,

1298
01:01:08,080 --> 01:01:11,040
Speaker 1: Like I'm like stuff might have been rocky at work

1299
01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:16,560
Speaker 1: or something like just it just maybe life wasn't for

1300
01:01:16,640 --> 01:01:20,720
Speaker 1: me like anymore, Like it's time to punch out. I'm like,

1301
01:01:20,800 --> 01:01:23,000
Speaker 1: I know this isn't right. So I called a buddy

1302
01:01:23,080 --> 01:01:25,400
Speaker 1: for one of the Seal Foundations. I was like, dude,

1303
01:01:25,440 --> 01:01:27,960
Speaker 1: I need some therapies. I need I need something. I

1304
01:01:28,120 --> 01:01:31,880
Speaker 1: need something. And that's where like a bunch of therapies

1305
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:33,360
Speaker 1: are given to me. And I believe this is a

1306
01:01:33,400 --> 01:01:36,720
Speaker 1: conversation where psychedelics was one of those is like hey

1307
01:01:36,880 --> 01:01:38,600
Speaker 1: do this, and I was like I'm there, and they

1308
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:39,880
Speaker 1: we're going to pay for everything. I was like, I'm

1309
01:01:39,880 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 1: in it. I'm on it, like send me and h

1310
01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:45,560
Speaker 1: I hung up that phone and I heard you're not

1311
01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:47,600
Speaker 1: You're not going to go do that, and it was

1312
01:01:47,640 --> 01:01:49,760
Speaker 1: only spirit like you you will, and it was so clear,

1313
01:01:49,960 --> 01:01:54,880
Speaker 1: it was so loud, and internally it's like, no, you're

1314
01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:58,440
Speaker 1: not going. I was like, and do you not see nothing?

1315
01:01:58,480 --> 01:02:01,040
Speaker 1: You can't do you not see when I'm in this

1316
01:02:01,200 --> 01:02:06,000
Speaker 1: misery like I'm stuck, like I've like plot plateaued or something.

1317
01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:13,360
Speaker 1: I need anything, and only the only thing I can

1318
01:02:13,440 --> 01:02:18,040
Speaker 1: think about doing in that moment was so profound in

1319
01:02:18,040 --> 01:02:20,480
Speaker 1: my life. And something that I I think I did

1320
01:02:20,520 --> 01:02:24,680
Speaker 1: the most with my heart engaged was I surrendered. I

1321
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:27,640
Speaker 1: was like I can't. I was like, I can't do this.

1322
01:02:28,520 --> 01:02:30,160
Speaker 1: And I hate the word can't. I hate when someone

1323
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:31,680
Speaker 1: tells me I can't do something. You find a way,

1324
01:02:31,680 --> 01:02:35,760
Speaker 1: you figure it out. But the truth is I can't

1325
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:38,720
Speaker 1: do this without him. I can do a version of

1326
01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:42,120
Speaker 1: this life, but I can't do my capabilities without him.

1327
01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:44,120
Speaker 1: And I was like, I cannot do this. And I

1328
01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:48,280
Speaker 1: literally said for the first time, I was like, please

1329
01:02:48,320 --> 01:02:51,440
Speaker 1: have mercy on me. I was like, have mercy on me.

1330
01:02:52,240 --> 01:02:54,200
Speaker 1: I was like, I can't do this, like I need

1331
01:02:54,240 --> 01:02:59,160
Speaker 1: your strength. I'm like I'm losing it. And dude like

1332
01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:03,840
Speaker 1: a mine or two, Like I don't know what in

1333
01:03:04,760 --> 01:03:09,600
Speaker 1: spirit whatever happened. It's like something was removed and I

1334
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:12,640
Speaker 1: just hear a thought of rid of all the alcohol

1335
01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:15,880
Speaker 1: in your house. I was like, all right, and like

1336
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:17,920
Speaker 1: I was at peace, Like I was like the thoughts

1337
01:03:17,960 --> 01:03:20,439
Speaker 1: were gone. I was like okay, and I like looked

1338
01:03:20,520 --> 01:03:22,440
Speaker 1: up in my like little wine fridge above my like

1339
01:03:22,960 --> 01:03:25,760
Speaker 1: outside in the garage fridge. I was like, and there's

1340
01:03:25,840 --> 01:03:27,840
Speaker 1: like all my pino noirs were in there. I was like,

1341
01:03:27,840 --> 01:03:30,320
Speaker 1: all right, So I text my wife who who and

1342
01:03:30,360 --> 01:03:32,640
Speaker 1: I are not on good terms over nothing really to

1343
01:03:32,680 --> 01:03:34,880
Speaker 1: be honest with you, Like there's no like people gambling

1344
01:03:34,920 --> 01:03:38,640
Speaker 1: the way houses or adultery or substance like there's many's

1345
01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:42,400
Speaker 1: ay alcohol maybe, And and I text her. I was like, hey,

1346
01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:43,920
Speaker 1: are you good if I get rid of all the alcohol?

1347
01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:48,280
Speaker 1: And she comes out from our house into the garage

1348
01:03:49,080 --> 01:03:50,800
Speaker 1: like red faced, herey eyed, kind of like I am

1349
01:03:50,880 --> 01:03:57,080
Speaker 1: right now, and she goes yes, and she goes I

1350
01:03:57,080 --> 01:03:59,520
Speaker 1: mean she she she was. She looked like she's been

1351
01:03:59,560 --> 01:04:01,840
Speaker 1: through some and she's like, I've been in our closet

1352
01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:06,320
Speaker 1: praying face down for the last couple of many hours,

1353
01:04:07,680 --> 01:04:12,560
Speaker 1: like praying for this is like end. And I was like, dude,

1354
01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:16,520
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm so sorry. It's like I'm so sorry.

1355
01:04:19,760 --> 01:04:22,160
Speaker 1: I'm not a good man, like I have so much

1356
01:04:22,200 --> 01:04:24,920
Speaker 1: I need to work on. I was like, please forgive me.

1357
01:04:25,400 --> 01:04:30,160
Speaker 1: And it was like I'm done drinking. Like I'm done drinking.

1358
01:04:30,240 --> 01:04:33,680
Speaker 1: I like I don't want it kids, it's stuff done.

1359
01:04:34,320 --> 01:04:37,760
Speaker 1: And she's like I only drink because you did. I

1360
01:04:37,800 --> 01:04:41,360
Speaker 1: was like, okay, cool, that doesn't help. And uh so

1361
01:04:42,760 --> 01:04:45,560
Speaker 1: I got rid of all the alcohol and like it

1362
01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:48,720
Speaker 1: was literally from that moment, it was like that alcohol

1363
01:04:48,800 --> 01:04:51,400
Speaker 1: for me. Some people can drink alcohol and not have

1364
01:04:51,440 --> 01:04:53,560
Speaker 1: a problem. I do. I don't know where the off

1365
01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:58,360
Speaker 1: button is, and fights come from it and just chaos

1366
01:04:58,440 --> 01:05:00,800
Speaker 1: and saying things I wish I did and say and

1367
01:05:00,800 --> 01:05:07,120
Speaker 1: and and actions that I do and we got we

1368
01:05:07,440 --> 01:05:09,640
Speaker 1: got rid of everything, and that like that for me,

1369
01:05:10,600 --> 01:05:13,600
Speaker 1: our family was a huge block because soon as that

1370
01:05:13,760 --> 01:05:16,920
Speaker 1: was removed, it was like the floodgates open and the

1371
01:05:16,960 --> 01:05:19,480
Speaker 1: Lord's like, I have a mission for you. And that's

1372
01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:20,960
Speaker 1: where I started to hear I want you to talk

1373
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:23,960
Speaker 1: about me, and I was and and then there's my

1374
01:05:24,120 --> 01:05:26,440
Speaker 1: disobedience again. I was like, yeah, that's not for me,

1375
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:28,520
Speaker 1: and I would I heard it again a couple of

1376
01:05:28,560 --> 01:05:30,920
Speaker 1: weeks later, like a talk about me, and it was

1377
01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:35,480
Speaker 1: so him, and I'm like and I like, give it

1378
01:05:35,520 --> 01:05:37,720
Speaker 1: a couple more that I'm like, yeah, that's that's not me.

1379
01:05:37,840 --> 01:05:41,400
Speaker 1: I've got like I got this stuff over here, that's

1380
01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:45,760
Speaker 1: not that's not me. And and a couple of weeks

1381
01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:48,240
Speaker 1: again I heard I heard it again, but it was different.

1382
01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:51,520
Speaker 1: The tone was different and was a question, why aren't

1383
01:05:51,520 --> 01:05:56,200
Speaker 1: you talking about me? And it was like a stopped

1384
01:05:56,200 --> 01:05:59,520
Speaker 1: me in my tracks. And I'm like, cause I don't.

1385
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:01,760
Speaker 1: I don't think I know you, Like I don't know you.

1386
01:06:02,960 --> 01:06:05,680
Speaker 1: I'm embarrassed and and I don't want to be held

1387
01:06:05,680 --> 01:06:08,760
Speaker 1: accountable to your standards. I can't do it. I'm like,

1388
01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:12,600
Speaker 1: I'm a sinner. I suck. I'm still dealing with this.

1389
01:06:13,040 --> 01:06:15,320
Speaker 1: I'm still dealing with this. A lot of those things

1390
01:06:15,320 --> 01:06:16,919
Speaker 1: that were on that post that I threw in the fire,

1391
01:06:17,040 --> 01:06:21,160
Speaker 1: I am still dealing with. I'm like, I'm not your man.

1392
01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:27,360
Speaker 1: And he gave me a word.

1393
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:33,440
Speaker 4: That was so powerful, and he's like trust He's like

1394
01:06:33,560 --> 01:06:34,040
Speaker 4: trust me.

1395
01:06:34,680 --> 01:06:39,919
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't because I can't. I can't

1396
01:06:39,960 --> 01:06:42,240
Speaker 1: see it. I'm I'm a controlling man. I gotta have

1397
01:06:42,320 --> 01:06:46,520
Speaker 1: a plan. I gotta know what I'm dealing with to

1398
01:06:46,520 --> 01:06:50,920
Speaker 1: to tackle what I'm going against. And he's like trust me,

1399
01:06:51,960 --> 01:06:53,680
Speaker 1: and I like I had that moment. I was like,

1400
01:06:56,480 --> 01:06:59,120
Speaker 1: I was like, if you say so, and I was

1401
01:06:59,160 --> 01:07:02,120
Speaker 1: like I'm yours. I'm like take it. I'm like, what

1402
01:07:02,160 --> 01:07:03,960
Speaker 1: do you want me to do? I was like, just

1403
01:07:04,000 --> 01:07:07,840
Speaker 1: help me, and and he took me through a process

1404
01:07:07,880 --> 01:07:10,760
Speaker 1: like we call it sanctification or healing or deliverance or

1405
01:07:10,800 --> 01:07:12,720
Speaker 1: whatever you want to call it. And he just took

1406
01:07:12,760 --> 01:07:15,640
Speaker 1: me through many things like what music am I listening to? What?

1407
01:07:15,640 --> 01:07:17,840
Speaker 1: What are you watching on TV? How are you talking?

1408
01:07:18,200 --> 01:07:18,280
Speaker 3: Like?

1409
01:07:18,640 --> 01:07:19,480
Speaker 1: What are you reading?

1410
01:07:19,720 --> 01:07:19,840
Speaker 3: Like?

1411
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:22,720
Speaker 1: All these things? What's what are your what are your

1412
01:07:22,760 --> 01:07:25,080
Speaker 1: thoughts consumed with? And he just started taking me through

1413
01:07:25,120 --> 01:07:28,960
Speaker 1: these things and it blew my mind, and I was

1414
01:07:29,480 --> 01:07:31,160
Speaker 1: in some of the things. I was very hesitant, like

1415
01:07:31,160 --> 01:07:34,080
Speaker 1: that doesn't make sense to me. But if you say

1416
01:07:34,160 --> 01:07:36,680
Speaker 1: it does to you, then it does to me. And

1417
01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:38,360
Speaker 1: I just I just I went all in with it.

1418
01:07:38,440 --> 01:07:40,760
Speaker 1: And there's still I don't want to play pretend here

1419
01:07:40,760 --> 01:07:42,080
Speaker 1: and act like I got it all figured out, because

1420
01:07:42,080 --> 01:07:44,400
Speaker 1: I don't. Actually the more I learned, I realize the

1421
01:07:44,480 --> 01:07:48,160
Speaker 1: less I know. So I just I've been going all in.

1422
01:07:48,200 --> 01:07:50,600
Speaker 1: And it's been about about four years of just like

1423
01:07:50,640 --> 01:07:52,760
Speaker 1: I'm here for you, Like you tell me where to go,

1424
01:07:53,240 --> 01:07:55,760
Speaker 1: I'm going. I don't care what it looks like, because

1425
01:07:55,800 --> 01:07:58,040
Speaker 1: if you give me the direction and give me the

1426
01:07:58,080 --> 01:08:01,640
Speaker 1: assignment or whatever you have for me, you're purpose your purpose.

1427
01:08:02,640 --> 01:08:04,640
Speaker 1: I'm in, let's go. I don't care what it looks

1428
01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:07,000
Speaker 1: like to outside opinion. I don't care because if I

1429
01:08:07,040 --> 01:08:12,680
Speaker 1: look at outside opinion. Uh, some blinded people walking around

1430
01:08:12,840 --> 01:08:15,960
Speaker 1: that are just falling in holes over and over again,

1431
01:08:16,080 --> 01:08:20,200
Speaker 1: scratching their head. Why does this keep happening? This is

1432
01:08:20,240 --> 01:08:22,880
Speaker 1: the definition of a sanity, doing the same thing over

1433
01:08:22,920 --> 01:08:26,680
Speaker 1: and over expecting a different result. Right, it's realty and

1434
01:08:26,800 --> 01:08:30,479
Speaker 1: like it's like man like guys, we're missing it. And

1435
01:08:31,240 --> 01:08:34,120
Speaker 1: we talked about this last night. That doubt piece is

1436
01:08:34,560 --> 01:08:37,439
Speaker 1: I don't doubt things because I don't see things, which

1437
01:08:37,479 --> 01:08:41,559
Speaker 1: I understand. But we're even told blessed is the one

1438
01:08:41,840 --> 01:08:47,400
Speaker 1: who has faith without seeing. And and you're seeing and

1439
01:08:47,439 --> 01:08:52,080
Speaker 1: you're hearing, you're just not listening. You're letting the world

1440
01:08:52,200 --> 01:08:57,080
Speaker 1: come in with their opinions, their trends. They're what they

1441
01:08:57,120 --> 01:09:00,879
Speaker 1: culturally say is sound. It ain't sounds. It's totally backwards.

1442
01:09:00,880 --> 01:09:01,240
Speaker 1: It's wrong.

1443
01:09:02,200 --> 01:09:04,720
Speaker 2: And you know I shared this with you over breakfast.

1444
01:09:04,760 --> 01:09:08,599
Speaker 2: But I just believe that God has his hand on

1445
01:09:08,640 --> 01:09:11,759
Speaker 2: your life. And you know, I've in a sense followed

1446
01:09:11,840 --> 01:09:14,720
Speaker 2: your journey from Afar through social media and stuff. And

1447
01:09:14,720 --> 01:09:16,920
Speaker 2: there's a lot of things that can be wrong with

1448
01:09:16,960 --> 01:09:20,839
Speaker 2: social media. Right, it's like a comparison culture built unperceived perfection.

1449
01:09:20,960 --> 01:09:23,680
Speaker 2: We get that, but the one thing that I appreciate

1450
01:09:23,760 --> 01:09:26,360
Speaker 2: about it is that like I can follow along just

1451
01:09:26,400 --> 01:09:29,040
Speaker 2: what God's doing and through your life in the ways

1452
01:09:29,080 --> 01:09:31,559
Speaker 2: that you are going like all in for the Lord,

1453
01:09:31,600 --> 01:09:33,559
Speaker 2: and the way in which you have grown to become

1454
01:09:33,640 --> 01:09:36,479
Speaker 2: unafraid or unashamed of the goodness of the Gospel and

1455
01:09:36,520 --> 01:09:39,240
Speaker 2: the testimony that you have lived out, because that's the

1456
01:09:39,280 --> 01:09:41,000
Speaker 2: only way we overcome, is by the blood of the

1457
01:09:41,040 --> 01:09:42,760
Speaker 2: Lamb and the word of our testimony. Every time I

1458
01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:45,160
Speaker 2: hear you share some of these stories in this testimony,

1459
01:09:45,479 --> 01:09:48,400
Speaker 2: it just speaks to the goodness and the grace of

1460
01:09:48,439 --> 01:09:51,439
Speaker 2: our God. And when I think about you and your

1461
01:09:51,479 --> 01:09:53,479
Speaker 2: story and now I want to come back to this

1462
01:09:53,560 --> 01:09:56,919
Speaker 2: spiritual warfare aspect, because man, as you have walked closely

1463
01:09:57,000 --> 01:10:00,360
Speaker 2: with God, as you have been attuned His spirit, as

1464
01:10:00,400 --> 01:10:02,800
Speaker 2: you are growing in attunement, you grow an awareness like

1465
01:10:02,840 --> 01:10:06,680
Speaker 2: you see evil, you see the darkness. We recognize that

1466
01:10:06,720 --> 01:10:09,280
Speaker 2: our our fight is not against flesh and blood, but

1467
01:10:09,360 --> 01:10:11,880
Speaker 2: against the principalities and the powers, and the wickedness and

1468
01:10:11,960 --> 01:10:14,800
Speaker 2: high places. Right there is a spiritual realm that we

1469
01:10:14,960 --> 01:10:17,320
Speaker 2: might not see, but it is all around us, and

1470
01:10:17,400 --> 01:10:18,720
Speaker 2: it is coming to take you out.

1471
01:10:18,720 --> 01:10:19,240
Speaker 3: And I'll never.

1472
01:10:19,160 --> 01:10:21,439
Speaker 2: Forget One of my quotes that somebody shared with me

1473
01:10:21,520 --> 01:10:25,040
Speaker 2: years ago is that Satan is not in a hurry

1474
01:10:25,080 --> 01:10:25,679
Speaker 2: to take you out.

1475
01:10:26,600 --> 01:10:27,120
Speaker 3: He's not in a.

1476
01:10:27,160 --> 01:10:30,800
Speaker 2: Hurry like he likes to wear you down. He knows

1477
01:10:30,840 --> 01:10:33,840
Speaker 2: exactly what buttons to press at the exact time. And

1478
01:10:33,920 --> 01:10:36,639
Speaker 2: sometimes he'll let you get close to God and he'll

1479
01:10:36,680 --> 01:10:38,680
Speaker 2: let you feel like you're in a comfortable place, and

1480
01:10:38,680 --> 01:10:40,479
Speaker 2: then you'll start to take the foot off the pedal

1481
01:10:40,479 --> 01:10:42,320
Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden, boom like he'll do

1482
01:10:42,920 --> 01:10:45,080
Speaker 2: exactly what he needs to do to make you fall,

1483
01:10:45,160 --> 01:10:47,240
Speaker 2: to make you feel ashamed to do whatever. He's not

1484
01:10:47,360 --> 01:10:50,160
Speaker 2: in a hurry, And that's why we have to continually

1485
01:10:50,240 --> 01:10:53,240
Speaker 2: renew our minds every day, not ruminate, but renovate, put

1486
01:10:53,280 --> 01:10:55,360
Speaker 2: on the full armor of God so that way we

1487
01:10:55,400 --> 01:10:58,800
Speaker 2: can be ready for battle. But speak to us just

1488
01:10:58,880 --> 01:11:02,120
Speaker 2: about you know, your somebody who was trained in military,

1489
01:11:02,240 --> 01:11:05,320
Speaker 2: train for war. What have you seen in the spiritual

1490
01:11:05,400 --> 01:11:07,479
Speaker 2: realm over the last four years of you as you've

1491
01:11:07,479 --> 01:11:09,639
Speaker 2: grown in the tumbe into the spirit that you've grown

1492
01:11:09,640 --> 01:11:12,280
Speaker 2: in awareness to man, this is a legit thing.

1493
01:11:12,640 --> 01:11:16,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny. Like someone asked me that question about that,

1494
01:11:17,160 --> 01:11:20,839
Speaker 1: I would be like, get away from me. You nut. Yeah,

1495
01:11:20,920 --> 01:11:23,320
Speaker 1: I would be like that is ridiculous, you're crazy. We

1496
01:11:23,320 --> 01:11:27,160
Speaker 1: don't live in this fantasy thing. But again, yet again

1497
01:11:27,760 --> 01:11:31,840
Speaker 1: I was wrong. And what I've learned after going all

1498
01:11:31,880 --> 01:11:33,800
Speaker 1: in and be like I'm here, like put me in.

1499
01:11:33,840 --> 01:11:36,640
Speaker 1: I want to serve you in whatever capacity to that is,

1500
01:11:36,720 --> 01:11:38,519
Speaker 1: which is to speak about him, because that's what he's

1501
01:11:38,560 --> 01:11:41,840
Speaker 1: called me to do. Is I've learned that this spiritual

1502
01:11:41,880 --> 01:11:45,679
Speaker 1: warfare that we deal with is realer than this water bottle.

1503
01:11:45,680 --> 01:11:49,040
Speaker 1: That's its right. It's realer than that can or that

1504
01:11:49,120 --> 01:11:51,559
Speaker 1: microphone in front of your face. It's realer than that.

1505
01:11:51,640 --> 01:11:55,479
Speaker 1: It's all around us, and there's so many influences coming

1506
01:11:55,479 --> 01:11:59,599
Speaker 1: from many ways, and our flesh, our weakness, and our

1507
01:11:59,640 --> 01:12:02,800
Speaker 1: flesh is leveraged by that darkness. It's not really like,

1508
01:12:02,840 --> 01:12:05,599
Speaker 1: oh it's all it's all this spiritual warfare, it's all

1509
01:12:05,640 --> 01:12:06,120
Speaker 1: the enemy.

1510
01:12:06,240 --> 01:12:08,320
Speaker 4: Well it's it is that. The darkness.

1511
01:12:08,360 --> 01:12:10,360
Speaker 1: It is not of flesh and blood, but of evil,

1512
01:12:10,640 --> 01:12:14,080
Speaker 1: present day principalities and authorities of the unseen realm. It

1513
01:12:14,160 --> 01:12:16,320
Speaker 1: is that, but it's also leveraging our flesh that we

1514
01:12:16,360 --> 01:12:18,960
Speaker 1: talked about, Like in Roman seven, I do the things

1515
01:12:18,960 --> 01:12:20,559
Speaker 1: that I know. I shouldn't do, but I don't do

1516
01:12:20,600 --> 01:12:23,040
Speaker 1: the things I know I should do. It is those

1517
01:12:23,160 --> 01:12:27,160
Speaker 1: combined and one is getting leveraged by the other. And

1518
01:12:27,280 --> 01:12:29,680
Speaker 1: we're in a world that welcomes it because it's a

1519
01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:33,559
Speaker 1: fallen world. It is corrupted and it's been that way.

1520
01:12:34,120 --> 01:12:37,800
Speaker 1: And you gotta like, under we should be a foreigner here,

1521
01:12:38,520 --> 01:12:40,719
Speaker 1: like I'm in the world. I'm not of the world

1522
01:12:40,840 --> 01:12:44,360
Speaker 1: as as you know Scripture tells us is we're foreigners.

1523
01:12:44,720 --> 01:12:47,559
Speaker 1: It's not normal, Like it's not my I have died

1524
01:12:47,600 --> 01:12:50,599
Speaker 1: to self. I'm not who I was. I'm a new

1525
01:12:50,640 --> 01:12:54,800
Speaker 1: creation in him. And that that that sounds weird. It's like,

1526
01:12:54,840 --> 01:12:57,400
Speaker 1: what does that even mean? You know, Like Nicodemus was asking,

1527
01:12:57,439 --> 01:12:59,200
Speaker 1: I'm like what I like Jesus like, hey, you got

1528
01:12:59,200 --> 01:13:01,200
Speaker 1: to be reborn. It's like, do I go back into

1529
01:13:01,200 --> 01:13:02,880
Speaker 1: my mother's womb and then come back out noise and

1530
01:13:03,080 --> 01:13:07,280
Speaker 1: need be reborn by the spirit. And I was like, okay,

1531
01:13:07,439 --> 01:13:09,920
Speaker 1: like what's that about and going all in and seeking

1532
01:13:09,920 --> 01:13:13,080
Speaker 1: the Lord first above anything else, and hey, I want

1533
01:13:13,080 --> 01:13:14,840
Speaker 1: you to do this. And the first thing I heard

1534
01:13:15,680 --> 01:13:17,920
Speaker 1: out of all things, which is of course the least

1535
01:13:17,960 --> 01:13:20,479
Speaker 1: I would expect, is I was like, hey, start giving,

1536
01:13:20,880 --> 01:13:24,680
Speaker 1: like start tithing, start giving a portion of your wages

1537
01:13:25,439 --> 01:13:28,080
Speaker 1: to the church or organization that you're going to. And

1538
01:13:28,120 --> 01:13:30,320
Speaker 1: I'm not asking for money. That was just the first

1539
01:13:30,320 --> 01:13:32,040
Speaker 1: thing that I heard, and that was back before I

1540
01:13:32,160 --> 01:13:34,599
Speaker 1: like really start a walk. But I started doing that,

1541
01:13:34,720 --> 01:13:37,880
Speaker 1: and literally three days later, my finance is tripled. Wow,

1542
01:13:38,120 --> 01:13:43,200
Speaker 1: Like oh, like I was like what I was like, dude,

1543
01:13:43,240 --> 01:13:44,479
Speaker 1: I want to get rid of drinking, I want to

1544
01:13:44,479 --> 01:13:45,960
Speaker 1: get a proporn, I want to get rid of pills.

1545
01:13:46,000 --> 01:13:47,080
Speaker 1: I want to get rid of a lot of things.

1546
01:13:47,120 --> 01:13:49,439
Speaker 1: And now you're telling me to tithe. What the heck

1547
01:13:49,560 --> 01:13:50,240
Speaker 1: is that about? It?

1548
01:13:50,320 --> 01:13:52,280
Speaker 4: Just to do not lean on your own understanding, but

1549
01:13:52,320 --> 01:13:52,800
Speaker 4: trust in me.

1550
01:13:52,920 --> 01:13:56,800
Speaker 1: Right. But I did it, and it's showed an act

1551
01:13:56,840 --> 01:14:00,000
Speaker 1: of obedience and and I gave him a cheerful heart.

1552
01:14:00,320 --> 01:14:02,360
Speaker 1: It wasn't like, oh, you've got to take my money

1553
01:14:02,360 --> 01:14:04,240
Speaker 1: and you're gonna waste it on this, Like I assume

1554
01:14:04,280 --> 01:14:07,680
Speaker 1: I know what's going on, and and I did that,

1555
01:14:08,200 --> 01:14:13,160
Speaker 1: and UH been very faithful in that. There's definitely been

1556
01:14:13,200 --> 01:14:15,840
Speaker 1: moments where I have not and I'm like quickly pulled

1557
01:14:15,840 --> 01:14:17,640
Speaker 1: back like, hey, dude, you know what you're supposed to

1558
01:14:17,640 --> 01:14:20,400
Speaker 1: be doing. And uh, but he just took me through

1559
01:14:20,560 --> 01:14:24,960
Speaker 1: all these different things, and like in that that day

1560
01:14:24,960 --> 01:14:27,320
Speaker 1: in the garage, that is kind of like the start

1561
01:14:27,479 --> 01:14:30,920
Speaker 1: of a lot of like being shown many things of

1562
01:14:30,960 --> 01:14:34,720
Speaker 1: hearing the voice and seeing things and seeing darkness manifest

1563
01:14:35,320 --> 01:14:39,320
Speaker 1: in the physical where I'm like, yeah, what is happening

1564
01:14:39,400 --> 01:14:41,840
Speaker 1: right now? Right, I'm like this is so crazy, Like

1565
01:14:43,040 --> 01:14:46,280
Speaker 1: no one's gonna believe this. But yet we have a word,

1566
01:14:46,320 --> 01:14:49,479
Speaker 1: a very big book that says it does and we

1567
01:14:49,520 --> 01:14:51,280
Speaker 1: want to say no, and it goes back to the

1568
01:14:51,360 --> 01:14:55,559
Speaker 1: d word doubt. Doubt. Well that was then, not now.

1569
01:14:55,680 --> 01:14:58,040
Speaker 1: We are so fooled, We are so played by the enemy.

1570
01:14:58,240 --> 01:14:59,880
Speaker 1: That's not true, that's not true. It can never have

1571
01:15:00,200 --> 01:15:02,280
Speaker 1: to you, right, you're a loser. You can never be this.

1572
01:15:02,479 --> 01:15:04,559
Speaker 1: And we don't know our identity in Christ. That's a problem.

1573
01:15:04,680 --> 01:15:07,000
Speaker 1: That's a problem. You don't know who you are. That's

1574
01:15:07,000 --> 01:15:10,040
Speaker 1: why we have this gender issue. That's why like, oh,

1575
01:15:10,040 --> 01:15:12,120
Speaker 1: I'm attracted to the same second, No, dude, you're being

1576
01:15:12,120 --> 01:15:15,080
Speaker 1: played by the enemy. There's no different. Just like I

1577
01:15:15,200 --> 01:15:17,960
Speaker 1: was being played. This is the way drink it, this

1578
01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:20,759
Speaker 1: is the way go get your laptop, going the bathroom.

1579
01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:23,600
Speaker 1: I was being played too. There's no difference. It just

1580
01:15:23,640 --> 01:15:27,280
Speaker 1: looks different. We say it's different, Oh, this is different

1581
01:15:27,320 --> 01:15:31,000
Speaker 1: because of this. No, but in his eyes it's all wrong. Yes,

1582
01:15:32,000 --> 01:15:36,120
Speaker 1: and that's the game. You're just like this month June,

1583
01:15:36,360 --> 01:15:41,280
Speaker 1: we are in the month of confusion, mad confusion that

1584
01:15:41,400 --> 01:15:44,840
Speaker 1: a world embraces, and all of a sudden we're unloving

1585
01:15:45,120 --> 01:15:47,519
Speaker 1: because we don't acknowledge it.

1586
01:15:47,560 --> 01:15:49,160
Speaker 4: That and we say, no, that's wrong.

1587
01:15:50,080 --> 01:15:52,719
Speaker 1: We're supposed to call out truth. We're supposed to build

1588
01:15:52,760 --> 01:15:56,680
Speaker 1: each other up, each other in truth, not sugarcoat thing.

1589
01:15:56,720 --> 01:15:58,640
Speaker 1: And that's what happens with a lot of churches. Is

1590
01:15:58,640 --> 01:16:00,839
Speaker 1: we sugarcoat because we don't want to rough only feathers.

1591
01:16:01,000 --> 01:16:06,360
Speaker 1: We don't want to offend you. Hey, truth offends people.

1592
01:16:06,800 --> 01:16:09,240
Speaker 1: It is literally like getting poked in the eyeball. Hey,

1593
01:16:09,560 --> 01:16:13,680
Speaker 1: that's wrong, thank you for that. And it goes back

1594
01:16:13,720 --> 01:16:16,280
Speaker 1: to the mindset shift, like thank you for showing me

1595
01:16:16,320 --> 01:16:19,280
Speaker 1: that I'm missing it and like, hey, like explain this

1596
01:16:19,360 --> 01:16:21,760
Speaker 1: to me. Okay, let's have a mature conversation where we're

1597
01:16:21,800 --> 01:16:25,040
Speaker 1: not condemning people but convicting people what the Holy Spirit

1598
01:16:25,120 --> 01:16:27,599
Speaker 1: was given to us for and be brought out of

1599
01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:31,480
Speaker 1: whatever miserable hole we're living that we call life incomfortable.

1600
01:16:32,320 --> 01:16:35,000
Speaker 1: That's that's not where we we're supposed to be where

1601
01:16:35,040 --> 01:16:37,320
Speaker 1: he says we're supposed to be. And people don't like

1602
01:16:37,320 --> 01:16:40,360
Speaker 1: that because they're like, I'm my own God, I'm my

1603
01:16:40,400 --> 01:16:42,760
Speaker 1: own I make the decisions here and that like, that's

1604
01:16:42,760 --> 01:16:44,800
Speaker 1: what the enemy wants you to have because you're missing it,

1605
01:16:45,320 --> 01:16:46,640
Speaker 1: you're blinded, you're missing it.

1606
01:16:46,680 --> 01:16:47,519
Speaker 4: Therefore you are.

1607
01:16:47,360 --> 01:16:51,640
Speaker 1: Perishing exactly right, period period. We can't throw some eminem's

1608
01:16:51,680 --> 01:16:54,000
Speaker 1: and some powdered sugar on it. I'm sorry, yep, Let's

1609
01:16:54,000 --> 01:16:56,320
Speaker 1: just talk about truth. Let's just get through it. It's

1610
01:16:56,320 --> 01:16:58,920
Speaker 1: so much easier, straight line is so much easier than

1611
01:16:58,920 --> 01:17:01,479
Speaker 1: walking around the world and years. Yes, yes, you know

1612
01:17:01,520 --> 01:17:01,920
Speaker 1: what I mean.

1613
01:17:02,120 --> 01:17:04,040
Speaker 3: That's a word not condemning.

1614
01:17:03,560 --> 01:17:07,280
Speaker 1: People, convicting, convicting, but there's a difference difference. But the

1615
01:17:07,400 --> 01:17:10,320
Speaker 1: people will take conviction like, oh, you're coming at me.

1616
01:17:10,720 --> 01:17:12,680
Speaker 1: That's not convicting. That's what the enemy wants you to

1617
01:17:12,680 --> 01:17:16,920
Speaker 1: think that, that's shaming you, accusing you, pointing something out,

1618
01:17:16,960 --> 01:17:19,240
Speaker 1: be like hey man, this is actually like better to

1619
01:17:19,320 --> 01:17:22,680
Speaker 1: go this way because this can lead to whatever it is.

1620
01:17:22,720 --> 01:17:24,720
Speaker 1: That and that is what I mean. We're told the

1621
01:17:24,760 --> 01:17:27,840
Speaker 1: Holy Spirit is given to convict us of our sin.

1622
01:17:29,080 --> 01:17:32,519
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's awesome. Like, I mean, dude, I

1623
01:17:32,520 --> 01:17:36,120
Speaker 1: remember going to I was checking into Buds and like,

1624
01:17:36,280 --> 01:17:38,800
Speaker 1: you get a rifle qualification I had. I brought my

1625
01:17:38,880 --> 01:17:41,160
Speaker 1: over from the Marine Corps and it was like the lowest. No,

1626
01:17:41,200 --> 01:17:43,880
Speaker 1: it was like the it wasn't the highest. I was

1627
01:17:43,880 --> 01:17:46,599
Speaker 1: like a sharpshooter. There's like rifleman basic, there's a sharp shooter,

1628
01:17:46,800 --> 01:17:47,559
Speaker 1: and there's expert.

1629
01:17:47,560 --> 01:17:50,280
Speaker 4: But I was a sharpshooter in this uh.

1630
01:17:50,760 --> 01:17:53,280
Speaker 1: Buds instructor when I was a basic underwater demolition sealed

1631
01:17:53,320 --> 01:17:55,040
Speaker 1: training comes up to me and I have because I

1632
01:17:55,040 --> 01:17:57,639
Speaker 1: have my dress uniform on and he looks at my ribbons.

1633
01:17:57,680 --> 01:17:59,920
Speaker 1: He goes marine Corps. I was like, I was, I guess, yes,

1634
01:18:00,200 --> 01:18:02,040
Speaker 1: drill instructor I think is what we called him. And

1635
01:18:02,160 --> 01:18:05,040
Speaker 1: he goes sharpshooter huh. And he looks at me and

1636
01:18:05,080 --> 01:18:08,320
Speaker 1: he goes, we're gonna fix that. And I was like,

1637
01:18:09,800 --> 01:18:12,120
Speaker 1: I was like, dude, I just saw the seal mentality

1638
01:18:13,040 --> 01:18:15,880
Speaker 1: not like you suck. I can't believe you, like because

1639
01:18:15,880 --> 01:18:19,439
Speaker 1: that'd be easy. One is condemning you suck. I can't

1640
01:18:19,479 --> 01:18:23,960
Speaker 1: believe you're not the best to convicting, We're gonna make

1641
01:18:24,000 --> 01:18:28,840
Speaker 1: it better, talk about power. I was like, dude, I

1642
01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:32,479
Speaker 1: like this place, like let's roll, like, let's get it.

1643
01:18:32,600 --> 01:18:34,400
Speaker 1: And the Lord wants to do the same thing. And

1644
01:18:34,600 --> 01:18:36,000
Speaker 1: I tell this too. I talked to a lot of

1645
01:18:36,000 --> 01:18:39,639
Speaker 1: first responders in military is like, if you go back

1646
01:18:39,680 --> 01:18:41,479
Speaker 1: to your military training, Like if I go back to

1647
01:18:41,640 --> 01:18:46,920
Speaker 1: buds day one versus graduation day, I'm a different man.

1648
01:18:47,720 --> 01:18:50,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, what's starting being groomed into a warrior? Like

1649
01:18:50,800 --> 01:18:52,680
Speaker 1: what I knew then and what I knew after is

1650
01:18:52,720 --> 01:18:55,439
Speaker 1: two different things. But I had to embrace that stuff.

1651
01:18:55,439 --> 01:18:56,880
Speaker 1: I had to trust what they were teaching me. He's

1652
01:18:56,880 --> 01:18:58,599
Speaker 1: going to keep me alive and my buddy alive when

1653
01:18:58,640 --> 01:19:01,240
Speaker 1: I go overseas to take it to the enemy. And

1654
01:19:01,360 --> 01:19:05,720
Speaker 1: it's the same thing with our spiritual walk. Wherever you are,

1655
01:19:05,960 --> 01:19:09,800
Speaker 1: whatever you're doing, whatever your belief system may be, literally

1656
01:19:09,960 --> 01:19:12,560
Speaker 1: drop that go to Him for all things. What do

1657
01:19:12,640 --> 01:19:14,439
Speaker 1: you have for me next? Holy Spirit? Please show me,

1658
01:19:15,000 --> 01:19:17,280
Speaker 1: Please show me, Please take me there back to psalmone

1659
01:19:17,360 --> 01:19:20,479
Speaker 1: thirty nine, search me, Oh God, and allow him to

1660
01:19:20,520 --> 01:19:22,280
Speaker 1: do whatever. And it might sound as weird as hey,

1661
01:19:22,320 --> 01:19:24,439
Speaker 1: I want you to give first when I really want

1662
01:19:24,520 --> 01:19:27,400
Speaker 1: to like get rid of this porn thing in trusting

1663
01:19:27,479 --> 01:19:31,519
Speaker 1: in that because certain things must be removed to get

1664
01:19:31,560 --> 01:19:33,840
Speaker 1: to the deeper issue, to root of the problem, which

1665
01:19:33,880 --> 01:19:37,120
Speaker 1: is like going back to the psychedelic thing certain suppressants

1666
01:19:37,800 --> 01:19:40,160
Speaker 1: only that's what they do. They suppress It makes you

1667
01:19:40,360 --> 01:19:43,040
Speaker 1: feel in the moment. The devil masquerades is an angel

1668
01:19:43,080 --> 01:19:45,880
Speaker 1: of light to make you feel good. But you're not

1669
01:19:46,280 --> 01:19:49,880
Speaker 1: tackling the problem, which could go back to your childhood

1670
01:19:50,320 --> 01:19:52,679
Speaker 1: or certain traumas that you've experienced. That You're just tacking

1671
01:19:52,760 --> 01:19:55,479
Speaker 1: on and stacking things, which is what the enemy wants.

1672
01:19:56,360 --> 01:19:59,120
Speaker 1: It's like a skyscraper. I've got like thirty floors on

1673
01:19:59,240 --> 01:20:02,640
Speaker 1: the skyscrape for the problems on floor three. Bro, I

1674
01:20:02,720 --> 01:20:05,080
Speaker 1: got to clear thirty twenty. I got to clear all

1675
01:20:05,200 --> 01:20:08,760
Speaker 1: this to get to this problem right here. And the

1676
01:20:08,880 --> 01:20:12,240
Speaker 1: Lord will take us through that if we're willing. That

1677
01:20:12,400 --> 01:20:14,760
Speaker 1: is the biggest thing. I've got to be willing for.

1678
01:20:14,880 --> 01:20:17,000
Speaker 1: I've had a heart for it, like I was willing

1679
01:20:17,080 --> 01:20:18,760
Speaker 1: to be a seal. Put me through all the training,

1680
01:20:18,800 --> 01:20:21,280
Speaker 1: make me miserable, go to hell, we be cold, tired, hungry.

1681
01:20:21,680 --> 01:20:24,760
Speaker 1: I'm willing for that because I want something. Yes, okay,

1682
01:20:24,840 --> 01:20:26,839
Speaker 1: be willing for the lords, because he'll take you places

1683
01:20:26,880 --> 01:20:31,439
Speaker 1: that no governmental job, no military unit, no anything, no job,

1684
01:20:31,520 --> 01:20:33,120
Speaker 1: no degree on the wall, can take you to. He'll

1685
01:20:33,120 --> 01:20:35,320
Speaker 1: take you to it. He knows your heart, he knows

1686
01:20:35,360 --> 01:20:39,280
Speaker 1: your desires. It's fire, he's fire, and it's beautiful. And

1687
01:20:39,360 --> 01:20:42,240
Speaker 1: we've got to go all in, all chips in man,

1688
01:20:42,360 --> 01:20:44,519
Speaker 1: and we got to trust in that that he has

1689
01:20:44,640 --> 01:20:48,639
Speaker 1: that because his purpose, his will, it out trumps ours.

1690
01:20:49,040 --> 01:20:51,439
Speaker 1: It's way bigger than what we can do. And like

1691
01:20:51,600 --> 01:20:53,160
Speaker 1: he taught me that when I was like, eh, I

1692
01:20:53,160 --> 01:20:55,080
Speaker 1: don't think you want me to talk about you, buddy.

1693
01:20:55,120 --> 01:20:58,320
Speaker 1: I got some mindset stuff I'd rather do instead. That's

1694
01:20:58,320 --> 01:21:03,960
Speaker 1: what about growth mindset And he proved me wrong yet again.

1695
01:21:04,720 --> 01:21:07,920
Speaker 1: And but that that is, that is his awesomeness. But

1696
01:21:08,520 --> 01:21:10,960
Speaker 1: but going back to that spiritual warfare is we've got

1697
01:21:11,000 --> 01:21:14,680
Speaker 1: to on that journey walking with him. The enemy is

1698
01:21:14,680 --> 01:21:17,559
Speaker 1: still coming, there's resistance, You're still in a fallen world.

1699
01:21:17,680 --> 01:21:20,240
Speaker 1: You still have your fleshly believes I want it now

1700
01:21:20,680 --> 01:21:24,360
Speaker 1: McDonald's drive through instant gratification. I want it now because

1701
01:21:24,360 --> 01:21:29,519
Speaker 1: I'm flesh. I'm human, I'm weak, I'm weak, I don't

1702
01:21:29,520 --> 01:21:31,200
Speaker 1: have control. I think I do.

1703
01:21:31,439 --> 01:21:34,679
Speaker 4: I don't I do with him because he has control

1704
01:21:34,760 --> 01:21:36,160
Speaker 4: and I rely on him. I'm tethered.

1705
01:21:36,200 --> 01:21:40,439
Speaker 1: He's my anchor. But resistance is coming in. Those barriers

1706
01:21:40,479 --> 01:21:43,720
Speaker 1: are going to be put up, one to test us sentations,

1707
01:21:43,800 --> 01:21:46,000
Speaker 1: not then, but we are being tested through those temptations.

1708
01:21:46,680 --> 01:21:49,320
Speaker 1: And we always, and you said it today, we always

1709
01:21:49,400 --> 01:21:52,360
Speaker 1: have that way out. But it's not by you, it's

1710
01:21:52,439 --> 01:21:55,360
Speaker 1: by him. And that's what beautiful thing is is that's

1711
01:21:55,400 --> 01:21:59,360
Speaker 1: who he is. It's no camp, it's no book, it's him.

1712
01:21:59,439 --> 01:21:59,840
Speaker 1: It's him.

1713
01:22:00,600 --> 01:22:03,519
Speaker 3: He is is the way, he is, the way, just.

1714
01:22:03,640 --> 01:22:08,440
Speaker 4: Him, not a denomination, not a religion, not a person.

1715
01:22:09,640 --> 01:22:14,439
Speaker 1: Through Jesus Christ. Period. It's that simple. But with our

1716
01:22:14,960 --> 01:22:20,599
Speaker 1: traditions and our fleshly ways and our man concocted great ideas,

1717
01:22:21,080 --> 01:22:23,040
Speaker 1: we put in these little barriers. And what we do

1718
01:22:23,280 --> 01:22:25,760
Speaker 1: is I looked it up. There's like four thousand, I

1719
01:22:25,800 --> 01:22:30,439
Speaker 1: think in this country alone, like four thousand denominations. What

1720
01:22:30,680 --> 01:22:33,120
Speaker 1: a great ploy of the enemy, because what does that do?

1721
01:22:33,600 --> 01:22:34,559
Speaker 3: Separate, divide.

1722
01:22:35,000 --> 01:22:38,960
Speaker 1: Sunday is the most divided day of our week with

1723
01:22:39,120 --> 01:22:41,280
Speaker 1: all these different We believe this. We believe this. And

1724
01:22:41,600 --> 01:22:44,040
Speaker 1: I'm not saying like everyone's going to I'm not saying that.

1725
01:22:44,520 --> 01:22:48,400
Speaker 1: But when we're told one man slash God that was

1726
01:22:48,479 --> 01:22:51,559
Speaker 1: here and now is God is the truth, the Way

1727
01:22:51,600 --> 01:22:55,920
Speaker 1: and the life. I'm not a rocket scientist, but guys,

1728
01:22:56,120 --> 01:23:01,240
Speaker 1: it's pretty yeah. I think direction is that way. But

1729
01:23:01,840 --> 01:23:04,600
Speaker 1: but everyone thinks they're right, like know the word the

1730
01:23:04,680 --> 01:23:08,560
Speaker 1: way or will twist the word and we'll make it

1731
01:23:08,680 --> 01:23:13,719
Speaker 1: up because it because the underlying things. It benefits all right, agenda,

1732
01:23:14,000 --> 01:23:17,360
Speaker 1: it benefits what man has created. Where God's like, no, dude,

1733
01:23:17,400 --> 01:23:19,800
Speaker 1: I'm the way, even says I'm the way. Bring people

1734
01:23:19,880 --> 01:23:20,720
Speaker 1: together around me.

1735
01:23:22,640 --> 01:23:25,599
Speaker 2: When I hear you speak to these issues, to these things,

1736
01:23:25,640 --> 01:23:27,240
Speaker 2: and I hear you talk about truth, when I hear

1737
01:23:27,320 --> 01:23:29,320
Speaker 2: you talk about conviction, when I hear you talk about

1738
01:23:29,400 --> 01:23:31,360
Speaker 2: the way of the spirit and really walking in the

1739
01:23:31,439 --> 01:23:34,560
Speaker 2: authority of the spirit, right, I just sense that the

1740
01:23:34,680 --> 01:23:37,479
Speaker 2: passion that uses out of you, Eddie is like it's palpable.

1741
01:23:37,800 --> 01:23:40,240
Speaker 2: And I think of the word passion, right, the root

1742
01:23:40,280 --> 01:23:43,519
Speaker 2: word itself really means to suffer. Then you think about

1743
01:23:43,640 --> 01:23:45,519
Speaker 2: like the movie that so many of us watch during

1744
01:23:45,600 --> 01:23:47,760
Speaker 2: Eastern and we celebrate the passion of the Christ, right,

1745
01:23:48,200 --> 01:23:50,519
Speaker 2: and we think in the secularism and the culture that

1746
01:23:50,560 --> 01:23:52,960
Speaker 2: we live in that passion is like this sense of

1747
01:23:53,080 --> 01:23:56,599
Speaker 2: sensuality or just like love for the sake of love.

1748
01:23:57,120 --> 01:23:59,960
Speaker 2: But when you recognize that passion is you love something

1749
01:24:00,080 --> 01:24:02,120
Speaker 2: things so much that you're willing to suffer for it,

1750
01:24:02,640 --> 01:24:04,439
Speaker 2: that you're willing to go to a cross and die

1751
01:24:04,439 --> 01:24:07,280
Speaker 2: a substitutionary death. In my place like, it doesn't make sense.

1752
01:24:07,320 --> 01:24:11,000
Speaker 2: I've done nothing to deserve that grace. I've done nothing

1753
01:24:11,120 --> 01:24:14,880
Speaker 2: to deserve that sacrifice. I can't earn it. But then

1754
01:24:14,920 --> 01:24:17,200
Speaker 2: it goes to this idea, but you can't honor it. Right,

1755
01:24:17,280 --> 01:24:19,160
Speaker 2: you can honor the cross every day by the way

1756
01:24:19,240 --> 01:24:21,120
Speaker 2: that we choose to live our lives, by the obedience

1757
01:24:21,160 --> 01:24:23,200
Speaker 2: that we choose to lay out. That he not only

1758
01:24:23,360 --> 01:24:26,120
Speaker 2: die to death that defeated sin, but then three days

1759
01:24:26,200 --> 01:24:29,120
Speaker 2: later he rose from the dead, defeating death so that

1760
01:24:29,280 --> 01:24:31,160
Speaker 2: you and I would have the opportunity of spending eternal

1761
01:24:31,160 --> 01:24:34,040
Speaker 2: life in his presence. There is something that is so

1762
01:24:34,280 --> 01:24:36,760
Speaker 2: good that if it doesn't put chills on you, if

1763
01:24:36,800 --> 01:24:39,639
Speaker 2: it doesn't move your spirit or put tears in your eyes,

1764
01:24:39,720 --> 01:24:40,679
Speaker 2: it's like, man, I don't.

1765
01:24:40,560 --> 01:24:41,800
Speaker 3: Know if you get the full picture.

1766
01:24:41,800 --> 01:24:43,960
Speaker 2: Because the more we talked about this at breakfast, the

1767
01:24:44,080 --> 01:24:47,200
Speaker 2: more you understand grace, the lest, the less deserving you

1768
01:24:47,280 --> 01:24:50,760
Speaker 2: feel of it. It's this recognition, man, that God is

1769
01:24:50,920 --> 01:24:54,120
Speaker 2: so good that he tells us who we are, even

1770
01:24:54,160 --> 01:24:56,240
Speaker 2: when the world will tell us who we're not, even

1771
01:24:56,280 --> 01:24:58,439
Speaker 2: when the enemy will try to convince us of who

1772
01:24:58,560 --> 01:25:00,400
Speaker 2: or not we'll try to attach us or agree to

1773
01:25:00,520 --> 01:25:03,040
Speaker 2: these different lives or these stories that we tell ourselves

1774
01:25:03,080 --> 01:25:04,240
Speaker 2: over time, or that someone.

1775
01:25:04,040 --> 01:25:06,160
Speaker 3: Else told us. But it's like, no, no, no, he

1776
01:25:06,479 --> 01:25:09,479
Speaker 3: tells you who you are. I want to know.

1777
01:25:09,680 --> 01:25:12,519
Speaker 2: Just in your journey and talking about biblical masculinity, there's

1778
01:25:12,520 --> 01:25:14,439
Speaker 2: a war on men right now. There's a heat down

1779
01:25:14,479 --> 01:25:17,360
Speaker 2: on men, just telling men that they're toxic, but in reality,

1780
01:25:17,400 --> 01:25:20,920
Speaker 2: there is toxic behavior. Men make bad decisions, and no,

1781
01:25:21,080 --> 01:25:23,960
Speaker 2: we don't stand for that, But there's nothing toxic about

1782
01:25:24,080 --> 01:25:27,120
Speaker 2: being a man. As you've grown in your relationship with God,

1783
01:25:28,240 --> 01:25:32,200
Speaker 2: who has God revealed you are in the midst of

1784
01:25:32,240 --> 01:25:34,080
Speaker 2: that when you look in the mirror now, you used

1785
01:25:34,080 --> 01:25:35,759
Speaker 2: to look in the mirror and say all the things

1786
01:25:35,800 --> 01:25:38,320
Speaker 2: that you were wrong, all the decisions that you made.

1787
01:25:38,360 --> 01:25:40,200
Speaker 2: But now when you look in the mirror and like,

1788
01:25:40,520 --> 01:25:42,760
Speaker 2: God defines who you are now and you know that

1789
01:25:43,160 --> 01:25:44,520
Speaker 2: who is Eddie penny.

1790
01:25:44,320 --> 01:25:49,120
Speaker 1: Today, his son, not the son, but a son, the

1791
01:25:49,240 --> 01:25:52,320
Speaker 1: child of God, one hundred percent. Like that, that's all

1792
01:25:52,439 --> 01:25:54,559
Speaker 1: I want to be. Like I put on my bibles,

1793
01:25:54,560 --> 01:25:56,400
Speaker 1: I'd always put like my name like engraved in because

1794
01:25:56,400 --> 01:25:58,639
Speaker 1: I'm my bible, whirredo, I collect them. But I put

1795
01:25:58,680 --> 01:26:02,519
Speaker 1: like son because like I'm his son, you're his son,

1796
01:26:02,960 --> 01:26:05,479
Speaker 1: like those that those who are led by the spirit

1797
01:26:05,560 --> 01:26:10,800
Speaker 1: are sons of God. And I'm like, yeah, that's right.

1798
01:26:11,720 --> 01:26:15,559
Speaker 1: If I pray our father, that makes me your son,

1799
01:26:15,880 --> 01:26:19,679
Speaker 1: or my wife is his daughter like that. That's intimate.

1800
01:26:20,720 --> 01:26:22,879
Speaker 1: I can see that when I look at my own children,

1801
01:26:23,439 --> 01:26:25,920
Speaker 1: or I know how my parents treat me like that,

1802
01:26:26,080 --> 01:26:30,280
Speaker 1: that's intimate. That is relational. That is a I need help,

1803
01:26:30,680 --> 01:26:34,360
Speaker 1: I love you, thank you. It's all the things. How

1804
01:26:34,439 --> 01:26:36,840
Speaker 1: can we help this person? What can we do over here?

1805
01:26:37,600 --> 01:26:39,360
Speaker 1: Is there anything? Can I do anything? You know what

1806
01:26:39,400 --> 01:26:42,519
Speaker 1: I mean? Like it's so important as knowing that identity

1807
01:26:42,560 --> 01:26:46,080
Speaker 1: because the world is going to give you anything and everything,

1808
01:26:46,760 --> 01:26:50,880
Speaker 1: but that you're just this. You're the degree on the wall.

1809
01:26:51,360 --> 01:26:53,800
Speaker 1: You're this because somebody that was having a bad day

1810
01:26:53,920 --> 01:26:56,120
Speaker 1: called you that and you believed with it, believed it

1811
01:26:56,240 --> 01:26:58,960
Speaker 1: and ran with it. That's not who you are, you

1812
01:26:59,120 --> 01:27:01,719
Speaker 1: are who he's as you are, and what he says

1813
01:27:01,800 --> 01:27:06,280
Speaker 1: about you. For those who are walking with him, who

1814
01:27:06,439 --> 01:27:10,400
Speaker 1: call on him, who love him, who seek him, he

1815
01:27:10,520 --> 01:27:12,680
Speaker 1: has nothing but awesome things to say. Now, does that

1816
01:27:12,760 --> 01:27:14,000
Speaker 1: mean we're not going to mess up and we may

1817
01:27:14,040 --> 01:27:16,240
Speaker 1: not be disciplined to be corrected and built up and

1818
01:27:16,760 --> 01:27:18,800
Speaker 1: taught not to make those the same mistakes so we

1819
01:27:18,880 --> 01:27:21,560
Speaker 1: can teach the generation after us? Absolutely? Don't we do

1820
01:27:21,600 --> 01:27:24,200
Speaker 1: that with our own kids. So what's the problem, right?

1821
01:27:24,320 --> 01:27:26,400
Speaker 1: We have a problem with that? Always so mean, like

1822
01:27:26,439 --> 01:27:28,800
Speaker 1: why would he allow this to happen? Let's go back

1823
01:27:28,800 --> 01:27:32,000
Speaker 1: to your choices real quick. But I think that's so

1824
01:27:33,120 --> 01:27:39,040
Speaker 1: it's so important is everyone as a man and women

1825
01:27:39,360 --> 01:27:44,920
Speaker 1: especially men, though, is your purpose like his purpose for

1826
01:27:45,120 --> 01:27:48,080
Speaker 1: your life? Because you're not going to really know your

1827
01:27:48,160 --> 01:27:51,040
Speaker 1: identity unless you've asked what do you have for me?

1828
01:27:51,640 --> 01:27:53,920
Speaker 1: And it doesn't matter if you took a wrong turn

1829
01:27:54,120 --> 01:27:57,360
Speaker 1: eighty thousand times like I did. He's still right there.

1830
01:27:57,479 --> 01:27:59,880
Speaker 1: He's still good, he's still merciful, he still has that grace.

1831
01:28:00,040 --> 01:28:03,720
Speaker 1: That's why he's so awesome, is he'll get you back

1832
01:28:03,800 --> 01:28:05,519
Speaker 1: on that right track and you just got to trust

1833
01:28:05,560 --> 01:28:07,280
Speaker 1: that and it's not going to look the way you think.

1834
01:28:07,800 --> 01:28:10,760
Speaker 1: That's why we're told do not lean on your own understanding,

1835
01:28:11,160 --> 01:28:16,000
Speaker 1: trust in his in his ways, and and that's hard

1836
01:28:16,040 --> 01:28:20,000
Speaker 1: to do sometimes when you see this. But really, I saw,

1837
01:28:20,160 --> 01:28:24,120
Speaker 1: I saw. I saw a picture a few years back,

1838
01:28:24,200 --> 01:28:26,879
Speaker 1: and it was around Christmas time, and it was Jesus

1839
01:28:27,160 --> 01:28:28,720
Speaker 1: and he was had and there was like he was

1840
01:28:28,760 --> 01:28:30,680
Speaker 1: looking at a little girl and this little girl, you

1841
01:28:30,840 --> 01:28:32,559
Speaker 1: know I'm talking about it. He's got this little gift

1842
01:28:33,360 --> 01:28:36,240
Speaker 1: in in front of him and the little girls looking

1843
01:28:36,240 --> 01:28:38,240
Speaker 1: at the little gift, and but behind him he's got

1844
01:28:38,280 --> 01:28:41,920
Speaker 1: like this huge teddy bear and she like one I

1845
01:28:42,120 --> 01:28:43,920
Speaker 1: can't remember what it said, is like she's wanting what's

1846
01:28:44,000 --> 01:28:45,880
Speaker 1: right in front of her face, but she's like, no,

1847
01:28:46,040 --> 01:28:47,400
Speaker 1: I got something bigger for you.

1848
01:28:48,120 --> 01:28:50,679
Speaker 4: But we are so quick, and we cut ourselves short.

1849
01:28:50,760 --> 01:28:51,360
Speaker 2: We we we.

1850
01:28:53,439 --> 01:28:56,720
Speaker 1: We sabotage ourselves like oh, this is it, this is

1851
01:28:56,920 --> 01:28:59,560
Speaker 1: this is it without consoling with him, like what do

1852
01:28:59,640 --> 01:29:02,040
Speaker 1: you say about this? Like what do you have for me?

1853
01:29:02,880 --> 01:29:06,080
Speaker 1: Is we settle for mediocrity when he's got greatness over here?

1854
01:29:06,160 --> 01:29:09,080
Speaker 1: I mean, let's just look look at David, look at Samson.

1855
01:29:09,200 --> 01:29:12,240
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean very disobedient people. I mean, look

1856
01:29:12,280 --> 01:29:17,160
Speaker 1: a lot very but they're called righteous. They messed up,

1857
01:29:17,200 --> 01:29:19,000
Speaker 1: they got back up. I mean we're even told the

1858
01:29:19,040 --> 01:29:20,600
Speaker 1: righteous get knocked down seven times, but.

1859
01:29:20,680 --> 01:29:22,240
Speaker 4: You get back up again.

1860
01:29:22,520 --> 01:29:22,800
Speaker 2: Dude.

1861
01:29:23,680 --> 01:29:26,840
Speaker 1: That is powerful because I get knocked down and I

1862
01:29:26,920 --> 01:29:30,320
Speaker 1: feel out of the fight. But his work says, get

1863
01:29:30,400 --> 01:29:33,719
Speaker 1: back up, We're not done, and he does. He wipes

1864
01:29:33,800 --> 01:29:35,360
Speaker 1: the dust off for you. You don't even have to

1865
01:29:35,439 --> 01:29:37,400
Speaker 1: do it. He does it for you, and just walk

1866
01:29:37,479 --> 01:29:39,559
Speaker 1: out what he gives you. But if we don't ask

1867
01:29:39,600 --> 01:29:41,800
Speaker 1: what our purpose is or will, We're gonna be lost.

1868
01:29:41,840 --> 01:29:44,080
Speaker 1: We're gonna be in this world wondering what am I

1869
01:29:44,080 --> 01:29:46,240
Speaker 1: supposed to do, and we're gonna feel empty. We're gonna

1870
01:29:46,240 --> 01:29:48,479
Speaker 1: feel like I could do more I should have. I

1871
01:29:48,560 --> 01:29:51,599
Speaker 1: have resentment over here or bitterness towards this because they

1872
01:29:51,720 --> 01:29:54,760
Speaker 1: made me do this. They know you made that choice. Yeah,

1873
01:29:54,920 --> 01:29:56,760
Speaker 1: And I think that's so important is we've got to

1874
01:29:56,880 --> 01:29:59,320
Speaker 1: ask every one of us, as an individual, Lord, what

1875
01:29:59,400 --> 01:30:01,600
Speaker 1: do you have from? And it's not like all right,

1876
01:30:01,640 --> 01:30:03,640
Speaker 1: you go be a bus driver, Okay, you're over here.

1877
01:30:03,680 --> 01:30:06,439
Speaker 1: It's like, no, it's an adventure. It's so much bigger.

1878
01:30:06,840 --> 01:30:08,400
Speaker 1: And what it is doing is what we don't see

1879
01:30:08,400 --> 01:30:10,360
Speaker 1: if we pull ourselves out and get like the thirty

1880
01:30:10,439 --> 01:30:14,360
Speaker 1: thousand or heaven view down, is we are his kids,

1881
01:30:15,000 --> 01:30:18,120
Speaker 1: making things move in a in a kingdom like way,

1882
01:30:18,400 --> 01:30:22,040
Speaker 1: bringing in more lost souls into the Kingdom of God.

1883
01:30:22,720 --> 01:30:25,920
Speaker 1: That's the mission. Like I told you, we're working on

1884
01:30:26,000 --> 01:30:28,600
Speaker 1: a new training site and being put back into like

1885
01:30:28,680 --> 01:30:32,000
Speaker 1: the speck Ops community and shooting and I'm like, I'm

1886
01:30:32,040 --> 01:30:33,920
Speaker 1: I dude, I'm so done with that, Like I'll go

1887
01:30:34,280 --> 01:30:36,120
Speaker 1: sell real estate like I'm good.

1888
01:30:37,000 --> 01:30:38,479
Speaker 4: But I'm like if that's what And he's like, no,

1889
01:30:38,600 --> 01:30:39,200
Speaker 4: this is where I want.

1890
01:30:39,280 --> 01:30:41,880
Speaker 1: I got confirmed from a couple of people and praying

1891
01:30:41,960 --> 01:30:43,920
Speaker 1: of course, and like hard to make sure I'm not

1892
01:30:44,120 --> 01:30:48,200
Speaker 1: you know, overstepping or I'm in my lane and I'm

1893
01:30:48,240 --> 01:30:50,000
Speaker 1: not going to give me the passion. And He's given

1894
01:30:50,040 --> 01:30:51,640
Speaker 1: me the passion. Put it back out. We're ready to

1895
01:30:51,760 --> 01:30:55,680
Speaker 1: rock here really soon. But that that's his purpose for

1896
01:30:55,920 --> 01:30:58,240
Speaker 1: me in that is to go back where I came from.

1897
01:30:59,000 --> 01:31:01,040
Speaker 1: But there's a new creation upon it. It's not the

1898
01:31:01,120 --> 01:31:02,800
Speaker 1: guy that is going to be the last guy at

1899
01:31:02,840 --> 01:31:05,280
Speaker 1: the bar and starting fights and chasing down women. No,

1900
01:31:05,320 --> 01:31:06,680
Speaker 1: it's a new guy that's pointing to one thing and

1901
01:31:06,760 --> 01:31:09,240
Speaker 1: that that's Jesus Christ and he does that for all

1902
01:31:09,280 --> 01:31:11,200
Speaker 1: of us and he points us back. And I can't

1903
01:31:11,200 --> 01:31:13,840
Speaker 1: remember the guy's name. I watched a podcast. My wife

1904
01:31:13,880 --> 01:31:16,360
Speaker 1: send it to me. I think the podcast is we

1905
01:31:16,479 --> 01:31:18,519
Speaker 1: need to Talk? Have you ever heard of that? So

1906
01:31:18,720 --> 01:31:22,880
Speaker 1: they're they're Christian. But there's a soccer player and I

1907
01:31:23,000 --> 01:31:26,479
Speaker 1: don't remember his name, but he It was probably one

1908
01:31:26,479 --> 01:31:29,400
Speaker 1: of the most powerful testimonies I've heard. It was about

1909
01:31:29,439 --> 01:31:31,240
Speaker 1: like just like the dark side of sports and like

1910
01:31:31,360 --> 01:31:35,120
Speaker 1: how the enemy but now he like removed himself completely

1911
01:31:35,280 --> 01:31:39,559
Speaker 1: from the soccer whatever, but God called him back into

1912
01:31:39,720 --> 01:31:42,640
Speaker 1: it to be a pastor in it. I was like

1913
01:31:43,160 --> 01:31:43,640
Speaker 1: I heard that.

1914
01:31:43,720 --> 01:31:46,719
Speaker 4: I'm like, this is the same thing that's literally happened

1915
01:31:46,840 --> 01:31:47,599
Speaker 4: on the military side.

1916
01:31:47,640 --> 01:31:49,719
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is nuts, dude, But it's so crazy,

1917
01:31:49,840 --> 01:31:52,400
Speaker 1: like he knows you've got the experience and you know

1918
01:31:52,600 --> 01:31:55,200
Speaker 1: the culture, but you're going back in there with but

1919
01:31:55,280 --> 01:31:58,280
Speaker 1: you're swinging a bigger sword and it's his word, yes,

1920
01:31:58,520 --> 01:32:00,960
Speaker 1: And they'll know them not by the things you say,

1921
01:32:01,040 --> 01:32:03,560
Speaker 1: but by your fruit, by your actions, by your examples.

1922
01:32:04,040 --> 01:32:10,160
Speaker 1: And everyone's watching and you're being judged NonStop all the

1923
01:32:10,240 --> 01:32:13,200
Speaker 1: time because they just want to look for the excuse. Oh,

1924
01:32:13,280 --> 01:32:15,439
Speaker 1: God's not real, that's not true. Oh if he was

1925
01:32:15,479 --> 01:32:18,080
Speaker 1: a Christian? Okay, what does it say in the Christian's

1926
01:32:18,080 --> 01:32:20,960
Speaker 1: supposed to be perfect? No, I mess up, So I'm

1927
01:32:20,960 --> 01:32:23,040
Speaker 1: gonna fess up. That's why I have confession. That's why

1928
01:32:23,040 --> 01:32:24,880
Speaker 1: I have repentance. That's why I forgiveness, so I have

1929
01:32:24,960 --> 01:32:26,960
Speaker 1: removal of certain things in my life that I should

1930
01:32:27,040 --> 01:32:29,400
Speaker 1: not have. There, how do I know these things? Holy Spirit,

1931
01:32:29,479 --> 01:32:31,800
Speaker 1: Please show me, because I can't see all things. I

1932
01:32:31,880 --> 01:32:34,559
Speaker 1: can see your ears. Can you see your ears? Can

1933
01:32:34,600 --> 01:32:37,360
Speaker 1: you see mine? I can't see my ears, which is

1934
01:32:37,400 --> 01:32:39,320
Speaker 1: why we need each other. Oh.

1935
01:32:40,040 --> 01:32:42,760
Speaker 2: I was gonna lean into a question regarding that real quick,

1936
01:32:42,760 --> 01:32:45,800
Speaker 2: because I think that's something that men really struggle with.

1937
01:32:46,320 --> 01:32:49,200
Speaker 2: Is this idea of vulnerability doing life together? Three of

1938
01:32:49,240 --> 01:32:50,920
Speaker 2: the most dangerous words of man will ever say.

1939
01:32:51,120 --> 01:32:51,600
Speaker 3: I got this.

1940
01:32:52,320 --> 01:32:56,439
Speaker 2: It's this idea of recognizing man that you need a

1941
01:32:56,560 --> 01:32:59,720
Speaker 2: band of brothers. You alluded to it so brilliantly, this

1942
01:33:00,000 --> 01:33:02,120
Speaker 2: idea of our identity. We first have to know who

1943
01:33:02,200 --> 01:33:04,360
Speaker 2: we are because of whose we are. Right, that we

1944
01:33:04,439 --> 01:33:07,519
Speaker 2: are defined by a person, the person of Jesus. Right,

1945
01:33:07,520 --> 01:33:08,920
Speaker 2: it's not about what we could do or not do.

1946
01:33:09,000 --> 01:33:11,280
Speaker 2: It's about what's already been done for us the person

1947
01:33:11,320 --> 01:33:14,320
Speaker 2: of Jesus. He talked about finding them a purpose in Jesus.

1948
01:33:14,760 --> 01:33:17,800
Speaker 2: But now I think God oftentimes will orchestrate these friends

1949
01:33:17,880 --> 01:33:19,840
Speaker 2: for the fire where he puts people and men in

1950
01:33:19,920 --> 01:33:22,599
Speaker 2: our life to speak into us, to disciple us through

1951
01:33:22,640 --> 01:33:26,120
Speaker 2: this journey. Because yes, we need God. But Genesis two eighteen,

1952
01:33:26,160 --> 01:33:27,680
Speaker 2: the very first thing that God said was not good

1953
01:33:27,720 --> 01:33:29,680
Speaker 2: with for men to be alone. So he created a

1954
01:33:29,720 --> 01:33:31,320
Speaker 2: help or suitable for him. And I get that's the

1955
01:33:31,400 --> 01:33:33,759
Speaker 2: context of marriage, but I also think that's the context

1956
01:33:33,800 --> 01:33:37,519
Speaker 2: of community. We need people in our lives to point

1957
01:33:37,640 --> 01:33:39,559
Speaker 2: us back, to show us the areas of our lives

1958
01:33:40,280 --> 01:33:43,599
Speaker 2: that maybe we cannot see that maybe we aren't quite convicted,

1959
01:33:43,640 --> 01:33:45,560
Speaker 2: and yet maybe we are, but we're not admitting it.

1960
01:33:45,680 --> 01:33:48,439
Speaker 3: Maybe we're not fessing up quite yet. We need men.

1961
01:33:48,880 --> 01:33:50,960
Speaker 2: So speak to just a man here before we wrap

1962
01:33:51,080 --> 01:33:53,760
Speaker 2: up today's conversation with one final question after this, But

1963
01:33:53,960 --> 01:33:56,320
Speaker 2: just the man that's trying to navigate life alone, Eddie,

1964
01:33:56,520 --> 01:33:59,439
Speaker 2: like he's tethered to God, but at the same time

1965
01:33:59,479 --> 01:34:01,680
Speaker 2: he has no body in his life that God is

1966
01:34:01,760 --> 01:34:03,920
Speaker 2: using as a conduit or a vessel through which God

1967
01:34:04,080 --> 01:34:06,560
Speaker 2: channels his message of hope and forgiveness and grace and

1968
01:34:06,680 --> 01:34:09,680
Speaker 2: love and in through that person, we need people in

1969
01:34:09,800 --> 01:34:12,040
Speaker 2: this life to speak to the importance of community.

1970
01:34:12,520 --> 01:34:15,640
Speaker 1: It's so funny you were you were saying that, and

1971
01:34:15,800 --> 01:34:19,599
Speaker 1: I if you ever watched Our Planet, So Our Planet's

1972
01:34:19,640 --> 01:34:21,640
Speaker 1: like a it's a nature show that's on Netflix. It's

1973
01:34:21,880 --> 01:34:24,680
Speaker 1: so phenomenal and I watch it all the time. I

1974
01:34:24,760 --> 01:34:27,080
Speaker 1: love nature like I love animals. I think they're so cool.

1975
01:34:27,560 --> 01:34:30,479
Speaker 1: But there's one episode at the very beginning, is this

1976
01:34:31,040 --> 01:34:34,520
Speaker 1: like the biggest herd of like zebras and these wildebeests

1977
01:34:34,560 --> 01:34:37,920
Speaker 1: and other whatever four legged animals walking and they come

1978
01:34:38,000 --> 01:34:40,479
Speaker 1: across a river and they have to get from one

1979
01:34:40,600 --> 01:34:42,479
Speaker 1: side of the river to the next. But in that

1980
01:34:42,720 --> 01:34:46,760
Speaker 1: river are tons of I believe, crocodiles, tons of crocodiles

1981
01:34:46,800 --> 01:34:49,360
Speaker 1: that they have to go in there. And we can

1982
01:34:49,400 --> 01:34:52,599
Speaker 1: see this in many species is the ones that get

1983
01:34:52,720 --> 01:34:56,280
Speaker 1: nailed are usually the ones that are by themselves. They're weak,

1984
01:34:56,720 --> 01:34:59,920
Speaker 1: they're limping along their easy prey, and the enemy will

1985
01:34:59,920 --> 01:35:01,760
Speaker 1: do the same thing with us. So the one that's

1986
01:35:01,800 --> 01:35:06,400
Speaker 1: why like, isolation is not always good. Now isolation to

1987
01:35:07,400 --> 01:35:10,240
Speaker 1: seek my Lord and be alone with him. That's a

1988
01:35:10,280 --> 01:35:12,360
Speaker 1: different kind of isolation. Jesus, we could see that all

1989
01:35:12,400 --> 01:35:13,920
Speaker 1: the time with Jesus going away, he would go up

1990
01:35:13,920 --> 01:35:14,800
Speaker 1: on the mount of hotels all.

1991
01:35:14,720 --> 01:35:17,480
Speaker 3: The time and pray to be alone in solitude.

1992
01:35:17,640 --> 01:35:21,040
Speaker 1: Yes, that's that's different. Then I'm going to isolate because

1993
01:35:21,080 --> 01:35:22,880
Speaker 1: I'm dealing with some serious sin that I don't want

1994
01:35:22,920 --> 01:35:25,200
Speaker 1: to talk about and I can't believe myself, and the

1995
01:35:25,360 --> 01:35:29,200
Speaker 1: enemy is playing on my conviction or sorry condemnation, accusing

1996
01:35:29,680 --> 01:35:32,920
Speaker 1: my shame, my guilt, and just saying I'm this, I'm this,

1997
01:35:33,080 --> 01:35:35,320
Speaker 1: and none of it's really good. That's a different kind

1998
01:35:35,360 --> 01:35:37,600
Speaker 1: of isolation. That's the isolation that leads to putting a

1999
01:35:37,600 --> 01:35:40,000
Speaker 1: bullet in your brain. And that's what we can't do

2000
01:35:40,400 --> 01:35:42,519
Speaker 1: when we have what you are speaking of is when

2001
01:35:42,560 --> 01:35:46,320
Speaker 1: we're staying with the herd, it's hard for people to

2002
01:35:46,360 --> 01:35:48,240
Speaker 1: get in. It's hard for the enemy to get in

2003
01:35:48,360 --> 01:35:52,360
Speaker 1: because we can call out the truth. That's the whole mission,

2004
01:35:52,880 --> 01:35:57,720
Speaker 1: and it's and on that, on that we have to

2005
01:35:57,800 --> 01:36:00,280
Speaker 1: make sure that the people we are surrounding our else

2006
01:36:00,320 --> 01:36:03,679
Speaker 1: with are biblically sound and they are looking to Jesus

2007
01:36:03,800 --> 01:36:06,760
Speaker 1: first before they give anything back. In return. It's got

2008
01:36:06,880 --> 01:36:09,000
Speaker 1: to align with him always. It will always point back

2009
01:36:09,040 --> 01:36:11,400
Speaker 1: to him. I've seen many groups that are like and

2010
01:36:11,760 --> 01:36:13,920
Speaker 1: been in them. I'm like, I thought it was with

2011
01:36:14,040 --> 01:36:17,400
Speaker 1: amazing men and still great men. But the Lord's like,

2012
01:36:17,600 --> 01:36:20,040
Speaker 1: get out of here. I'm like, but I'm having a

2013
01:36:20,080 --> 01:36:24,599
Speaker 1: good time. And I realized, like God wasn't the centerpiece.

2014
01:36:25,280 --> 01:36:26,680
Speaker 1: And I'm like, and I'm out, and I'll be like, hey,

2015
01:36:26,680 --> 01:36:28,880
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I I'm not supposed to be here. I'm

2016
01:36:28,880 --> 01:36:30,360
Speaker 1: not supposed to be here. I gotta i gotta roll

2017
01:36:30,439 --> 01:36:32,400
Speaker 1: like I wish you guys best and all that stuff,

2018
01:36:32,680 --> 01:36:35,320
Speaker 1: but I've had to leave some because you gotta be

2019
01:36:35,400 --> 01:36:39,200
Speaker 1: careful because it's not that they're bad, it just might

2020
01:36:39,280 --> 01:36:43,240
Speaker 1: not be what he has for you, for whatever he

2021
01:36:43,439 --> 01:36:46,800
Speaker 1: has you to do his will, whatever that looks like,

2022
01:36:46,840 --> 01:36:48,640
Speaker 1: because every one of us has a different thing, and

2023
01:36:48,760 --> 01:36:50,519
Speaker 1: a lot of it doesn't make sense to us, which

2024
01:36:50,560 --> 01:36:52,320
Speaker 1: is why it just like shows your obedy and shows

2025
01:36:52,400 --> 01:36:55,960
Speaker 1: your faith in him entrusting him to like take you along.

2026
01:36:57,040 --> 01:36:59,560
Speaker 1: But community is huge. You have got to have it.

2027
01:37:00,040 --> 01:37:01,760
Speaker 1: Need someone to call me out of my crap, yes,

2028
01:37:02,760 --> 01:37:05,400
Speaker 1: other than my wife. I need someone to come other

2029
01:37:05,439 --> 01:37:05,960
Speaker 1: than my wife.

2030
01:37:06,400 --> 01:37:06,800
Speaker 2: But I need.

2031
01:37:06,920 --> 01:37:09,120
Speaker 1: I need dudes that think like a dude, and they're

2032
01:37:09,160 --> 01:37:11,800
Speaker 1: seeking Jesus because Jesus is king, like they need to

2033
01:37:11,920 --> 01:37:15,120
Speaker 1: be seeking him and putting him first and foremost and

2034
01:37:16,439 --> 01:37:18,000
Speaker 1: taking these thoughts and like, Lord, what do you have?

2035
01:37:18,080 --> 01:37:19,880
Speaker 1: And if if they're given something to give, then they

2036
01:37:19,920 --> 01:37:21,719
Speaker 1: need to give it because they're gonna be held accountable

2037
01:37:21,760 --> 01:37:24,000
Speaker 1: for not giving that. That's another thing we can send,

2038
01:37:24,000 --> 01:37:25,920
Speaker 1: the Bible of people not giving what they're supposed to

2039
01:37:26,000 --> 01:37:28,720
Speaker 1: do and being held accountable for that. We're obedient to

2040
01:37:28,920 --> 01:37:32,759
Speaker 1: our peace. I can I can think of I always

2041
01:37:33,080 --> 01:37:34,479
Speaker 1: always get this, And I used to think like this.

2042
01:37:34,600 --> 01:37:37,640
Speaker 1: I was I was in Chicago for an event and

2043
01:37:37,760 --> 01:37:39,960
Speaker 1: I went to I had like a hotel where you

2044
01:37:39,960 --> 01:37:41,760
Speaker 1: can make your own food. Someone went down to like

2045
01:37:41,800 --> 01:37:43,400
Speaker 1: this little market got some food, and when I was

2046
01:37:43,439 --> 01:37:45,640
Speaker 1: walking in, I noticed a lady there. I think she

2047
01:37:45,760 --> 01:37:47,479
Speaker 1: was holding a baby, but if the baby could have

2048
01:37:47,560 --> 01:37:50,240
Speaker 1: been fake, I'm not sure. And I was like, huh,

2049
01:37:50,240 --> 01:37:51,519
Speaker 1: And I looked across the street and there was an

2050
01:37:51,560 --> 01:37:54,080
Speaker 1: ABC store, a liquor store. I was like, all right,

2051
01:37:54,120 --> 01:37:55,439
Speaker 1: and she was asking for money. So I go when

2052
01:37:55,479 --> 01:37:57,360
Speaker 1: I get my groceries, and and I walk back out,

2053
01:37:57,439 --> 01:37:59,680
Speaker 1: I just like walk right by her, and I just

2054
01:37:59,760 --> 01:38:01,400
Speaker 1: hear give her give her the money in her wallet.

2055
01:38:01,640 --> 01:38:02,680
Speaker 1: I was like, no, I don't think.

2056
01:38:02,720 --> 01:38:04,040
Speaker 4: So I'm like, I know what she's gonna do. She's

2057
01:38:04,040 --> 01:38:04,519
Speaker 4: gonna take that.

2058
01:38:04,840 --> 01:38:06,840
Speaker 1: She's gonna go around the corner getting her bins or

2059
01:38:07,000 --> 01:38:10,439
Speaker 1: go get some alcohol and do whatever. And I hear

2060
01:38:10,520 --> 01:38:12,320
Speaker 1: to get like, go back and give her the money

2061
01:38:12,320 --> 01:38:14,200
Speaker 1: in your wallet, and I just see the number fifty.

2062
01:38:14,200 --> 01:38:15,360
Speaker 1: So I look at my lot and I had a

2063
01:38:15,400 --> 01:38:17,519
Speaker 1: fifty dollars bill, so I took that. I'm like, okay,

2064
01:38:17,960 --> 01:38:19,639
Speaker 1: I got to take the fifty dollars was a little

2065
01:38:20,400 --> 01:38:22,160
Speaker 1: so I was like, I was like hey, I was like,

2066
01:38:22,240 --> 01:38:24,200
Speaker 1: may you be blessed? And I gave her the money

2067
01:38:24,240 --> 01:38:26,120
Speaker 1: and I walked out and I learned something that day,

2068
01:38:26,400 --> 01:38:29,280
Speaker 1: and so I'm like, why would you have me give

2069
01:38:29,360 --> 01:38:32,320
Speaker 1: her money when I know there's a problem with this.

2070
01:38:32,800 --> 01:38:35,320
Speaker 1: I know I don't know that she's going to go

2071
01:38:35,439 --> 01:38:39,240
Speaker 1: do this. And I was so convicted, like, you are

2072
01:38:39,320 --> 01:38:43,040
Speaker 1: responsible for what I tell you to do. She is

2073
01:38:43,160 --> 01:38:46,000
Speaker 1: responsible for what I tell her to do. How do

2074
01:38:46,200 --> 01:38:49,040
Speaker 1: I not know that she could have been just praying

2075
01:38:49,840 --> 01:38:52,200
Speaker 1: or speaking to herself. If someone just gives me fifty

2076
01:38:52,240 --> 01:38:55,519
Speaker 1: dollars or five dollars that I am. I'm giving this

2077
01:38:55,680 --> 01:38:57,720
Speaker 1: up and I'm going to get help. How am I

2078
01:38:57,880 --> 01:39:00,479
Speaker 1: to know that? And he showed me that. I'm like,

2079
01:39:02,439 --> 01:39:04,479
Speaker 1: you're so good and so true. It's like, it doesn't

2080
01:39:04,560 --> 01:39:07,120
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter what I think about all these other people,

2081
01:39:07,400 --> 01:39:09,240
Speaker 1: because you've got something going on in my life or

2082
01:39:09,320 --> 01:39:11,200
Speaker 1: in your life. I have my stuff going on. We

2083
01:39:11,240 --> 01:39:12,920
Speaker 1: all have different things going on. Like I don't know

2084
01:39:13,040 --> 01:39:16,519
Speaker 1: those things. He does. He is the glue around all things,

2085
01:39:17,320 --> 01:39:18,640
Speaker 1: and I have to trust what he tells me to

2086
01:39:18,720 --> 01:39:20,720
Speaker 1: do because I don't know what the bigger picture is.

2087
01:39:20,880 --> 01:39:22,640
Speaker 4: I don't know what his will and his purpose is.

2088
01:39:22,920 --> 01:39:25,160
Speaker 1: I just have to trust in it. Back to that word,

2089
01:39:25,240 --> 01:39:29,479
Speaker 1: trust in me, trust me, trust me. That's hard because

2090
01:39:29,520 --> 01:39:33,240
Speaker 1: we're so we get's, we get screwed by people.

2091
01:39:34,080 --> 01:39:35,720
Speaker 4: We take that same trust, and we try to take

2092
01:39:35,760 --> 01:39:38,360
Speaker 4: that trust to him. It doesn't they're not the same me.

2093
01:39:38,520 --> 01:39:40,479
Speaker 1: Trusting you is a different trust than I have in him,

2094
01:39:41,080 --> 01:39:42,880
Speaker 1: and it should be different the way you see me

2095
01:39:43,120 --> 01:39:45,320
Speaker 1: versus him. He is faithful to his word. He is

2096
01:39:45,400 --> 01:39:45,880
Speaker 1: not a liar.

2097
01:39:46,360 --> 01:39:52,360
Speaker 4: You know what I've lied, I've manipulated, I've had bad intentions.

2098
01:39:54,080 --> 01:39:55,760
Speaker 1: Is not see.

2099
01:39:55,880 --> 01:39:59,080
Speaker 2: That's why I believe that obedience is just an abundance

2100
01:39:59,160 --> 01:40:02,760
Speaker 2: of trust, like when I trust you fully, when I

2101
01:40:02,920 --> 01:40:05,400
Speaker 2: know you, I know your goodness, I know your grace,

2102
01:40:05,880 --> 01:40:07,560
Speaker 2: I know the person that you are. When we know

2103
01:40:07,760 --> 01:40:10,240
Speaker 2: who God is rightly we have a right perspective in

2104
01:40:10,320 --> 01:40:12,560
Speaker 2: view of him, then we're not going to question what

2105
01:40:12,640 --> 01:40:15,560
Speaker 2: he asks us to do. Obedience is an overflow of

2106
01:40:15,640 --> 01:40:19,599
Speaker 2: the trust that we have for God. We talk about community, man,

2107
01:40:19,800 --> 01:40:21,960
Speaker 2: we have to have it. God will give you friends

2108
01:40:22,040 --> 01:40:24,920
Speaker 2: for the fire. He'll always be the fourth man in

2109
01:40:25,040 --> 01:40:26,680
Speaker 2: the fire. But like you said, you have to make

2110
01:40:26,720 --> 01:40:29,080
Speaker 2: sure it's the right people, it's the right men. I

2111
01:40:29,120 --> 01:40:30,720
Speaker 2: think there's a verse in Proverbs that says he who

2112
01:40:30,760 --> 01:40:32,680
Speaker 2: walks with the wives will become wise, but he who

2113
01:40:33,000 --> 01:40:35,600
Speaker 2: walks with a fool will suffer harm. Right, it's this

2114
01:40:35,800 --> 01:40:38,640
Speaker 2: idea of who are you hanging out with? Who are

2115
01:40:38,680 --> 01:40:41,200
Speaker 2: you allowing to speak into your life, to have influence

2116
01:40:41,240 --> 01:40:43,599
Speaker 2: over your life, to impact your life, because they will

2117
01:40:43,640 --> 01:40:45,960
Speaker 2: be having it for good or for bad. There's a

2118
01:40:46,000 --> 01:40:48,080
Speaker 2: book by Sidney Poidier called The Measure of a Man,

2119
01:40:48,439 --> 01:40:50,599
Speaker 2: and in that book there's always something that sticks out

2120
01:40:50,640 --> 01:40:52,400
Speaker 2: to me. So profound that he says, it's amazing what

2121
01:40:52,479 --> 01:40:54,240
Speaker 2: happens when you go on a walk or a jog

2122
01:40:54,320 --> 01:40:56,720
Speaker 2: or a run with someone. Either they adjust to your

2123
01:40:56,840 --> 01:40:59,080
Speaker 2: pace or you will adjust to theirs. And then he

2124
01:40:59,080 --> 01:41:01,280
Speaker 2: asked the question, who's case if you adjusted to the

2125
01:41:01,280 --> 01:41:02,000
Speaker 2: slower pace.

2126
01:41:01,840 --> 01:41:07,840
Speaker 4: If we're running hopefully, But that's true, that's a that's

2127
01:41:07,880 --> 01:41:08,960
Speaker 4: a great example.

2128
01:41:08,720 --> 01:41:11,479
Speaker 2: Being introspective of the people that are in my life.

2129
01:41:11,560 --> 01:41:14,439
Speaker 2: Are they pushing me closer toward yeah? Are they heightening

2130
01:41:14,520 --> 01:41:16,280
Speaker 2: my view of him? Or are they hindering my view?

2131
01:41:16,400 --> 01:41:18,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's scot Like I can hear it already, Like

2132
01:41:18,760 --> 01:41:21,320
Speaker 1: that's not a justification or excuse, like, oh, they're just

2133
01:41:21,360 --> 01:41:23,720
Speaker 1: not the right people. No, it's asked the Lord like

2134
01:41:24,040 --> 01:41:26,160
Speaker 1: are these it? And if they're not, okay, please send

2135
01:41:26,240 --> 01:41:28,479
Speaker 1: it to me, Please send me the right people or

2136
01:41:29,040 --> 01:41:31,040
Speaker 1: or or guide me to the right place, because I

2137
01:41:32,880 --> 01:41:36,080
Speaker 1: dudes are Oh yeah, I heard a guy one time like, yeah,

2138
01:41:36,160 --> 01:41:37,439
Speaker 1: church is all they want to do is take your

2139
01:41:37,479 --> 01:41:40,000
Speaker 1: money and they're not going to fill you. Are there

2140
01:41:40,080 --> 01:41:42,960
Speaker 1: some churches like that? Sadly it is true, But is

2141
01:41:43,000 --> 01:41:44,840
Speaker 1: every church like that? No, there are some that are

2142
01:41:44,840 --> 01:41:47,120
Speaker 1: biblically based. They point to Jesus Christ, and that is

2143
01:41:47,160 --> 01:41:49,000
Speaker 1: who we need to follow because that is it. Are

2144
01:41:49,000 --> 01:41:50,160
Speaker 1: they going to mess it? Yeah?

2145
01:41:50,280 --> 01:41:51,320
Speaker 4: Why because you do too?

2146
01:41:51,600 --> 01:41:53,680
Speaker 1: We all do. That is why we need him if

2147
01:41:53,680 --> 01:41:55,559
Speaker 1: we didn't mess up? Why do I need a savior?

2148
01:41:56,160 --> 01:41:58,800
Speaker 1: Why do I need a God? I need one because

2149
01:41:58,800 --> 01:42:02,240
Speaker 1: I mess up on the day all the time, maybe

2150
01:42:02,320 --> 01:42:04,160
Speaker 1: wrongful thoughts or man, what am I?

2151
01:42:04,280 --> 01:42:04,720
Speaker 4: What's going on?

2152
01:42:04,960 --> 01:42:05,000
Speaker 3: Like?

2153
01:42:05,040 --> 01:42:05,080
Speaker 2: What?

2154
01:42:05,200 --> 01:42:08,080
Speaker 1: I can't believe? I just lost my temper on this

2155
01:42:08,200 --> 01:42:09,760
Speaker 1: guy that don't even know that just cut in front

2156
01:42:09,800 --> 01:42:12,920
Speaker 1: of me, Like why you know what I mean? Like,

2157
01:42:13,040 --> 01:42:16,200
Speaker 1: we have got to trust that. We like that, and

2158
01:42:16,280 --> 01:42:19,680
Speaker 1: we're until we do. And I know, I know what

2159
01:42:19,800 --> 01:42:20,559
Speaker 1: the scriptures say.

2160
01:42:21,080 --> 01:42:21,360
Speaker 2: I know.

2161
01:42:21,600 --> 01:42:25,639
Speaker 1: Not everyone is. They will continue to perish, they will

2162
01:42:25,680 --> 01:42:28,400
Speaker 1: continue not to see because they choose to live in

2163
01:42:28,479 --> 01:42:31,519
Speaker 1: their pride and be blinded by the enemy. But there

2164
01:42:31,560 --> 01:42:34,519
Speaker 1: are many that will be coming back to where they

2165
01:42:34,600 --> 01:42:36,960
Speaker 1: belong to their father for sure. That's it.

2166
01:42:37,120 --> 01:42:37,720
Speaker 3: Hosea too.

2167
01:42:37,800 --> 01:42:39,679
Speaker 2: Even in the value of a core value of suffering,

2168
01:42:39,720 --> 01:42:41,920
Speaker 2: when we return to the Lord, a value of hope

2169
01:42:42,320 --> 01:42:44,920
Speaker 2: will be open wide unto us. That's the idea, man,

2170
01:42:45,040 --> 01:42:48,000
Speaker 2: that God is a good God who is waiting for

2171
01:42:48,200 --> 01:42:50,920
Speaker 2: us with a ring in a row with a welcoming response.

2172
01:42:51,000 --> 01:42:53,360
Speaker 2: No matter how far we've drifted or how far we've gone,

2173
01:42:53,720 --> 01:42:56,640
Speaker 2: it's time to return to the Lord, so we can

2174
01:42:56,720 --> 01:42:58,360
Speaker 2: embrace that welcome in that gift.

2175
01:42:58,760 --> 01:43:02,439
Speaker 3: I want to close this way, Eddie with your story.

2176
01:43:02,840 --> 01:43:05,479
Speaker 2: A lot of men, a lot of people listening today,

2177
01:43:05,760 --> 01:43:08,200
Speaker 2: have just been blown away by the different stories, by

2178
01:43:08,240 --> 01:43:10,960
Speaker 2: the testimony that you've testified of the goodness of God

2179
01:43:11,040 --> 01:43:13,200
Speaker 2: even throughout your life, what He's continuing to do in

2180
01:43:13,320 --> 01:43:15,439
Speaker 2: and through you. But the story that I kind of

2181
01:43:15,439 --> 01:43:17,479
Speaker 2: want to wrap up with is just a pressing word

2182
01:43:17,520 --> 01:43:20,320
Speaker 2: that maybe God's placed on your heart regarding how do

2183
01:43:20,439 --> 01:43:23,160
Speaker 2: you want to be remembered, because I think of a

2184
01:43:23,200 --> 01:43:25,919
Speaker 2: lot of people view you as a sealed Team six operator,

2185
01:43:25,960 --> 01:43:28,040
Speaker 2: a Tier one operator, all these types of things where

2186
01:43:28,080 --> 01:43:30,160
Speaker 2: it's like, dude, he is one of the most you know,

2187
01:43:30,680 --> 01:43:32,920
Speaker 2: pristine dudes when it comes to battle, when it comes

2188
01:43:32,960 --> 01:43:36,000
Speaker 2: to warfare, discipline, all of these things that the world

2189
01:43:36,040 --> 01:43:38,719
Speaker 2: would say, Man, that's cool, Like you got Eddie Penny,

2190
01:43:38,880 --> 01:43:42,040
Speaker 2: That dude did amazing things for the kingdom in a

2191
01:43:42,080 --> 01:43:46,080
Speaker 2: different light. But I'm talking about the spiritual kingdom now, Like,

2192
01:43:46,160 --> 01:43:48,800
Speaker 2: who does Eddie Penny really want to be remembered as

2193
01:43:48,880 --> 01:43:50,680
Speaker 2: when you step into eternity.

2194
01:43:51,560 --> 01:43:54,560
Speaker 1: Jesus, Like, if someone hears my name, I want the

2195
01:43:54,640 --> 01:43:57,519
Speaker 1: next thought to be like Jesus Christ. He talked about Christ.

2196
01:43:57,560 --> 01:44:00,479
Speaker 1: He was always pointing to Christ. That would be everything,

2197
01:44:02,200 --> 01:44:08,320
Speaker 1: hands down, because he is the one that takes your

2198
01:44:08,400 --> 01:44:11,400
Speaker 1: lump of crap which we all have, and turning into

2199
01:44:11,479 --> 01:44:14,000
Speaker 1: something so beautiful that can just help so many other people.

2200
01:44:14,439 --> 01:44:17,200
Speaker 1: He has that strength, that power, that knowledge, that wisdom,

2201
01:44:17,240 --> 01:44:21,439
Speaker 1: that awesome that he will give to his faithful sons

2202
01:44:21,479 --> 01:44:24,120
Speaker 1: and daughters that are following him. Is if someone hears

2203
01:44:24,160 --> 01:44:26,720
Speaker 1: my name, I'm like, yeah, did I do some cool stuff? Yeah?

2204
01:44:26,720 --> 01:44:29,200
Speaker 1: It was fun, it was awesome. Was my heart in

2205
01:44:29,240 --> 01:44:33,320
Speaker 1: the right place? Absolutely not. It is now and it

2206
01:44:33,439 --> 01:44:35,280
Speaker 1: needs to get better and I want it to get better,

2207
01:44:35,280 --> 01:44:36,920
Speaker 1: and I keep seeking for that to happen.

2208
01:44:37,600 --> 01:44:41,639
Speaker 4: But it's just him like he's just so I can't.

2209
01:44:42,280 --> 01:44:42,840
Speaker 4: It's so funny.

2210
01:44:42,840 --> 01:44:45,519
Speaker 1: I'm thinking of the where Paul is talking about, like

2211
01:44:45,560 --> 01:44:49,160
Speaker 1: Rego's up to the Third Heaven? Was that Corinthia? Is it?

2212
01:44:49,400 --> 01:44:50,880
Speaker 1: I'm sorry I can't remember which book it was it,

2213
01:44:51,120 --> 01:44:53,320
Speaker 1: but anyways, He's like, I don't have words to describe this,

2214
01:44:54,080 --> 01:44:58,439
Speaker 1: Like I don't have I don't have words to explain

2215
01:44:58,520 --> 01:45:01,680
Speaker 1: his awesomeness, like how how caring is, how how he

2216
01:45:01,960 --> 01:45:05,040
Speaker 1: sees you, how he's there for you, how he wants

2217
01:45:05,080 --> 01:45:07,360
Speaker 1: to pick you up. And I like, I just like

2218
01:45:07,400 --> 01:45:10,120
Speaker 1: think of like a wounded little bird, like you'd like

2219
01:45:10,360 --> 01:45:12,439
Speaker 1: nurture it back, or like a little baby bunny like

2220
01:45:12,720 --> 01:45:14,400
Speaker 1: you always see like little videos of like people like

2221
01:45:14,479 --> 01:45:16,360
Speaker 1: taking a little eye dropper and feed the milk and

2222
01:45:16,479 --> 01:45:19,000
Speaker 1: like just making it bigger and you know, taking care

2223
01:45:19,040 --> 01:45:20,519
Speaker 1: of it. And then they like go back like that

2224
01:45:20,680 --> 01:45:23,519
Speaker 1: that's him, that's him. And somebody like, well, I don't

2225
01:45:23,520 --> 01:45:25,000
Speaker 1: want to be a we were little burned. I'm like

2226
01:45:25,920 --> 01:45:29,120
Speaker 1: hate to burst your bubble, but you is you are.

2227
01:45:29,400 --> 01:45:31,400
Speaker 1: If you're walking in the ways of the world, you are.

2228
01:45:31,600 --> 01:45:34,160
Speaker 1: You're wounded, you're blinded, you're not saying straight. You have

2229
01:45:34,320 --> 01:45:37,479
Speaker 1: a limp, and he wants to nourish that, get it

2230
01:45:37,560 --> 01:45:40,000
Speaker 1: back to where he has called you to be so

2231
01:45:40,080 --> 01:45:44,599
Speaker 1: you can walk upright straight with confidence in his name.

2232
01:45:45,479 --> 01:45:48,280
Speaker 1: And we have plenty of examples of that throughout history

2233
01:45:48,720 --> 01:45:53,160
Speaker 1: and we still do. And I would tell guys like

2234
01:45:54,400 --> 01:45:57,679
Speaker 1: put down your your your controllers on your little game

2235
01:45:57,760 --> 01:46:01,160
Speaker 1: boards and start believing the lie of the enemy, and

2236
01:46:01,240 --> 01:46:04,280
Speaker 1: start picking up your shields, pick up your spear, your sword,

2237
01:46:04,840 --> 01:46:07,479
Speaker 1: and like there's a battle to be fought. The battle

2238
01:46:07,680 --> 01:46:09,479
Speaker 1: is the lord's, but he is going to use us

2239
01:46:09,560 --> 01:46:12,160
Speaker 1: through that, and like, get on it. And where do

2240
01:46:12,200 --> 01:46:14,960
Speaker 1: you start? You start by asking him. It's that simple.

2241
01:46:15,040 --> 01:46:18,720
Speaker 1: And get rid of any doubt. If you hear any doubt, congratulations,

2242
01:46:18,760 --> 01:46:21,200
Speaker 1: you just know what the enemy sounded like, because that's it.

2243
01:46:22,120 --> 01:46:24,720
Speaker 1: Any I can't do this, that's not for me. You

2244
01:46:24,880 --> 01:46:27,360
Speaker 1: just heard the voice of the enemy, and your weak

2245
01:46:27,439 --> 01:46:30,320
Speaker 1: fleshly self, that's what it sounds like. So shut it

2246
01:46:30,400 --> 01:46:33,000
Speaker 1: down and walk in your anointing, walk in your authority

2247
01:46:33,360 --> 01:46:34,519
Speaker 1: that comes in the blood of Christ.

2248
01:46:35,760 --> 01:46:38,360
Speaker 2: Verse Thessalonians four eleven and twelve. It says, to make

2249
01:46:38,400 --> 01:46:41,400
Speaker 2: it our aim or ambition to live a quiet life,

2250
01:46:42,120 --> 01:46:44,720
Speaker 2: minding our own business, working with our hands, just as

2251
01:46:44,760 --> 01:46:46,760
Speaker 2: we've been instructed, Why so that we might win the

2252
01:46:46,840 --> 01:46:49,400
Speaker 2: respective outsiders and not go dependent upon anybody.

2253
01:46:49,840 --> 01:46:50,559
Speaker 3: It's this idea.

2254
01:46:50,800 --> 01:46:54,120
Speaker 2: So many men edie or chase and fame and fortune

2255
01:46:54,280 --> 01:46:56,640
Speaker 2: and females and all of the things that come with

2256
01:46:56,720 --> 01:46:58,840
Speaker 2: the world. But at the end of the day, if

2257
01:46:58,880 --> 01:47:01,839
Speaker 2: we could just hear the WORDDS that you're found faithful,

2258
01:47:02,240 --> 01:47:05,680
Speaker 2: right faithfulness. Let that be our aim again, not to

2259
01:47:05,880 --> 01:47:08,640
Speaker 2: earn the grace, but to honor the sacrifice that was

2260
01:47:08,680 --> 01:47:11,200
Speaker 2: made on our behalf. Whether that's the sacrifice first and

2261
01:47:11,280 --> 01:47:13,479
Speaker 2: foremost of our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Also the

2262
01:47:13,560 --> 01:47:16,720
Speaker 2: brave men and women that continue to lean in to

2263
01:47:16,880 --> 01:47:19,960
Speaker 2: risk their lives every day. May we honor by the

2264
01:47:20,040 --> 01:47:23,320
Speaker 2: way that we cherish that gift. Eddie Penny, my friend.

2265
01:47:23,560 --> 01:47:26,000
Speaker 2: Last question, where can our audience find out a little

2266
01:47:26,040 --> 01:47:28,240
Speaker 2: bit more about you and share just a moment about

2267
01:47:28,320 --> 01:47:30,599
Speaker 2: this Unafraid brand, what God is doing? And then through

2268
01:47:30,760 --> 01:47:33,240
Speaker 2: the apparel, the gear. I already made my order, I

2269
01:47:33,240 --> 01:47:35,240
Speaker 2: already made my purchase. It's on my way to my house.

2270
01:47:35,280 --> 01:47:36,560
Speaker 2: It didn't have it to word today, but let me

2271
01:47:36,640 --> 01:47:39,280
Speaker 2: tell you something. God's doing something pretty cool through Unafraid

2272
01:47:39,280 --> 01:47:40,400
Speaker 2: as well. Shared that with our audience.

2273
01:47:40,560 --> 01:47:43,080
Speaker 1: That's so funny is when I started the whole Unafraid thing,

2274
01:47:43,120 --> 01:47:45,200
Speaker 1: it was like a mindset brand. Thank you like all that,

2275
01:47:45,439 --> 01:47:48,040
Speaker 1: and I was in my I was in my shipping

2276
01:47:48,120 --> 01:47:52,200
Speaker 1: room and I started looking around. I'm like, like, notice,

2277
01:47:52,200 --> 01:47:54,839
Speaker 1: like there's like stickers with crosses, there's bands, with crosses

2278
01:47:54,920 --> 01:47:59,559
Speaker 1: and like scripture on shure, it's I'm like, straight up

2279
01:47:59,560 --> 01:48:01,160
Speaker 1: pulled a fat that's one on me. Like I didn't

2280
01:48:01,160 --> 01:48:04,720
Speaker 1: even realize this stuff like just started. I'm like, I'm like,

2281
01:48:05,080 --> 01:48:08,439
Speaker 1: I'm a faith based organism. I didn't even see it happening.

2282
01:48:08,520 --> 01:48:12,320
Speaker 1: I'm just like, okay, you said, okay, okay, and but no,

2283
01:48:12,520 --> 01:48:15,360
Speaker 1: it's just it's just I think we're told in the

2284
01:48:15,439 --> 01:48:18,160
Speaker 1: Bible quite a bit. I've heard three hundred and sixty

2285
01:48:18,200 --> 01:48:20,640
Speaker 1: five times. I've never counted them all I would, but

2286
01:48:21,040 --> 01:48:23,240
Speaker 1: that's a lot. Like we're told to fear, not do

2287
01:48:23,439 --> 01:48:27,160
Speaker 1: not be afraid. We're always told that. Well, we're told

2288
01:48:27,280 --> 01:48:30,320
Speaker 1: that because there's a reason, like fear is not of God.

2289
01:48:30,360 --> 01:48:32,560
Speaker 1: We're actually told you we have not been given a

2290
01:48:33,600 --> 01:48:38,160
Speaker 1: spirit of fear, but of authority, strength and self control,

2291
01:48:38,360 --> 01:48:41,200
Speaker 1: or of love and strength control, and we got to

2292
01:48:41,920 --> 01:48:42,840
Speaker 1: But everyone.

2293
01:48:42,560 --> 01:48:46,040
Speaker 4: Walks around in fear, like in their workouts.

2294
01:48:45,640 --> 01:48:48,519
Speaker 1: In the way they think they look in their job,

2295
01:48:48,840 --> 01:48:51,040
Speaker 1: or I'm not going to even try to get that job,

2296
01:48:51,280 --> 01:48:51,720
Speaker 1: or I'm not.

2297
01:48:51,760 --> 01:48:54,960
Speaker 4: Going to go, you know, approach my child.

2298
01:48:55,000 --> 01:48:58,000
Speaker 1: Or approach my wife and have a really deep conversation

2299
01:48:58,080 --> 01:49:00,519
Speaker 1: about things that are going on there were, and we

2300
01:49:00,680 --> 01:49:03,160
Speaker 1: live in that fear, and fear is not of the Lord.

2301
01:49:03,680 --> 01:49:06,000
Speaker 1: That's not It doesn't mean we can't have hard conversations.

2302
01:49:06,320 --> 01:49:09,360
Speaker 1: That's okay. That's where breakthrough happens. I always think of

2303
01:49:09,479 --> 01:49:13,200
Speaker 1: like a you ever had a pimple, you know what

2304
01:49:13,439 --> 01:49:16,160
Speaker 1: it is, and a lot of us will just take

2305
01:49:16,200 --> 01:49:18,760
Speaker 1: that ZiT and we'll pop it and we get all

2306
01:49:18,800 --> 01:49:21,960
Speaker 1: that crap out, that ooze, that dirt, whatever is. That's

2307
01:49:22,000 --> 01:49:23,720
Speaker 1: what needs to happen for a lot of us, is

2308
01:49:23,920 --> 01:49:26,360
Speaker 1: it needs to be squeezed so that crap comes out.

2309
01:49:26,840 --> 01:49:31,640
Speaker 1: So our wrong our false beliefs, are our bad attitudes,

2310
01:49:31,720 --> 01:49:36,040
Speaker 1: whatever maybe wrongful desires you might have, needs to come out,

2311
01:49:36,160 --> 01:49:38,400
Speaker 1: be brought to the light, be brought to the throne

2312
01:49:38,439 --> 01:49:40,720
Speaker 1: of grace, and be shown so you could walk in

2313
01:49:40,840 --> 01:49:44,559
Speaker 1: his ways. But that's where like the unafraid, going back

2314
01:49:44,600 --> 01:49:46,800
Speaker 1: to the unafraid thing is like, that's where like all

2315
01:49:46,960 --> 01:49:49,519
Speaker 1: came from. It's just I realized that we're all afraid,

2316
01:49:49,520 --> 01:49:51,439
Speaker 1: and I was there for so long. I was afraid

2317
01:49:51,479 --> 01:49:54,200
Speaker 1: to face myself, which is why I would suppress with alcohol.

2318
01:49:54,400 --> 01:49:56,840
Speaker 1: I was so scared. I'm like, I can't have a

2319
01:49:56,880 --> 01:49:59,799
Speaker 1: brand if I'm scared. I gotta, you know, preach it Unafraid,

2320
01:50:00,320 --> 01:50:02,680
Speaker 1: But it just started and it really wasn't It was

2321
01:50:02,760 --> 01:50:04,360
Speaker 1: just to be a T shirt and it kind of

2322
01:50:04,439 --> 01:50:07,200
Speaker 1: caught on and then men started reaching out, and then

2323
01:50:07,920 --> 01:50:10,080
Speaker 1: going on the Sean Ryan Show definitely boosted things up.

2324
01:50:10,160 --> 01:50:11,920
Speaker 1: So we got to put out the book Unafraid that

2325
01:50:11,960 --> 01:50:16,439
Speaker 1: I wrote with Keith Would and it's about being afraid. Man.

2326
01:50:16,439 --> 01:50:19,560
Speaker 1: It's just like being unafraid to be vulnerable, to be

2327
01:50:19,760 --> 01:50:23,000
Speaker 1: transparent because when we do certain things like that, when

2328
01:50:23,000 --> 01:50:25,080
Speaker 1: we take the darkness that we are stuffing, we don't

2329
01:50:25,080 --> 01:50:28,040
Speaker 1: want anyone to see. You're complying with darkness. You bring

2330
01:50:28,160 --> 01:50:30,360
Speaker 1: that stuff out to the light. Now you get a

2331
01:50:30,439 --> 01:50:33,519
Speaker 1: chance to heal. Yes, And that's so powerful, and people

2332
01:50:33,560 --> 01:50:36,160
Speaker 1: don't know that because we're looking at things in the physical,

2333
01:50:36,800 --> 01:50:37,559
Speaker 1: not in the spiritual.

2334
01:50:37,880 --> 01:50:41,320
Speaker 4: It's two different. It's they're different, but yet they go together.

2335
01:50:41,680 --> 01:50:46,360
Speaker 1: Right. So but yeah, it's just lead men because men

2336
01:50:46,479 --> 01:50:49,080
Speaker 1: need to be to be led to be leaders. Because

2337
01:50:49,080 --> 01:50:52,840
Speaker 1: if I take out dad, all the kids, the wife,

2338
01:50:53,000 --> 01:50:55,160
Speaker 1: it's gonna fall. That's why we have broken homes and

2339
01:50:55,200 --> 01:50:58,000
Speaker 1: you can see this with inner city everywhere. Is why

2340
01:50:58,120 --> 01:51:00,479
Speaker 1: is there a problem that men are absent during gangs.

2341
01:51:00,840 --> 01:51:03,160
Speaker 1: They you know, we're in wedlock. Whatever it is, is

2342
01:51:03,280 --> 01:51:05,719
Speaker 1: like that, We've got all these issues men not standing

2343
01:51:05,880 --> 01:51:09,519
Speaker 1: firm for their family and we've got to do that.

2344
01:51:09,840 --> 01:51:13,599
Speaker 1: Or righteous beliefs, righteous beliefs, not what you think is right,

2345
01:51:13,680 --> 01:51:16,240
Speaker 1: what he says. But that's where it started. And we

2346
01:51:16,280 --> 01:51:18,160
Speaker 1: wrote a book on Afraid Standing Down Terrors and Navy

2347
01:51:18,240 --> 01:51:21,760
Speaker 1: Seal and a Single Day, a Single Dad, and got

2348
01:51:21,800 --> 01:51:24,320
Speaker 1: our merch on Unafraid dot Shop and then I'm on Instagram.

2349
01:51:24,479 --> 01:51:26,880
Speaker 1: But Unafraid Dot Shop and Unafraid dot Org pretty much

2350
01:51:26,920 --> 01:51:29,960
Speaker 1: cover everything. But we're going to move to bigger things.

2351
01:51:30,000 --> 01:51:32,120
Speaker 1: I think like kind of like the church security try

2352
01:51:32,160 --> 01:51:34,519
Speaker 1: to help churches kind of like you know, because they

2353
01:51:34,560 --> 01:51:36,240
Speaker 1: are a target, even if they don't think they are.

2354
01:51:38,760 --> 01:51:42,880
Speaker 1: We're amazing to pray over churches, but there's a physical

2355
01:51:42,920 --> 01:51:44,560
Speaker 1: aspect that still goes with that, and we got to

2356
01:51:44,560 --> 01:51:47,960
Speaker 1: bring that into a prayer. Prayer. We're called to act.

2357
01:51:48,760 --> 01:51:51,320
Speaker 1: You know, most of us told like hey, you're going

2358
01:51:51,400 --> 01:51:54,200
Speaker 1: to turn you know the river Nile red when you

2359
01:51:54,439 --> 01:51:57,000
Speaker 1: hold your staff up. There was always an act of

2360
01:51:57,120 --> 01:51:59,960
Speaker 1: obedience or a physical something that needs to be done,

2361
01:52:00,000 --> 01:52:01,439
Speaker 1: and we need to be doing that on our churches,

2362
01:52:01,840 --> 01:52:04,200
Speaker 1: keeping them safe. So that's going to be starting up

2363
01:52:04,240 --> 01:52:07,800
Speaker 1: soon too. But yeah, man, I'm everywhere on media try

2364
01:52:07,840 --> 01:52:10,720
Speaker 1: to put out the word. Yes, his word, not my own.

2365
01:52:10,960 --> 01:52:12,760
Speaker 3: You do an incredible job. I would just challenge all

2366
01:52:12,840 --> 01:52:13,280
Speaker 3: the listeners.

2367
01:52:13,360 --> 01:52:16,000
Speaker 2: Make sure you go to Unafraid Dot Order or Unafraid

2368
01:52:16,040 --> 01:52:17,920
Speaker 2: Dot Shop, pick up some merch pick up a copy

2369
01:52:17,960 --> 01:52:20,080
Speaker 2: of his book I'm Afraid, follow him on social media.

2370
01:52:20,360 --> 01:52:23,400
Speaker 2: Trust me, I am constantly encouraged and equipped by the

2371
01:52:23,479 --> 01:52:26,000
Speaker 2: incredible things that God is continuing to do and into

2372
01:52:26,000 --> 01:52:28,880
Speaker 2: the life and the leadership of Eddie Penny. Eddie, my friend,

2373
01:52:29,320 --> 01:52:31,040
Speaker 2: I can't thank you enough for coming all the way.

2374
01:52:30,960 --> 01:52:31,960
Speaker 3: Up here to Lashford, Virginia.

2375
01:52:32,000 --> 01:52:32,760
Speaker 1: I appreciate thanks for.

2376
01:52:32,840 --> 01:52:34,880
Speaker 2: Joining me on the show. Thank you for allowing God

2377
01:52:35,479 --> 01:52:37,960
Speaker 2: to use you for such a time as this. I

2378
01:52:38,120 --> 01:52:40,120
Speaker 2: know that He will continue to do that very thing.

2379
01:52:40,479 --> 01:52:42,839
Speaker 2: And again, I appreciate the way that you've even sharpened

2380
01:52:42,880 --> 01:52:45,840
Speaker 2: me today just by your faith, by your passion for God.

2381
01:52:46,280 --> 01:52:48,479
Speaker 2: Even at breakfast this morning. I mean, you were pouring

2382
01:52:48,520 --> 01:52:50,880
Speaker 2: into me, investing in my life, and I look forward

2383
01:52:50,880 --> 01:52:51,720
Speaker 2: to seeing what you're going to do.

2384
01:52:51,720 --> 01:52:53,240
Speaker 3: From here, my friend. Thank you so much for joining

2385
01:52:53,280 --> 01:52:54,120
Speaker 3: me I, I appreciate you.

2386
01:52:54,240 --> 01:52:56,559
Speaker 2: Thank you so our entire audience to Bill Different, thank

2387
01:52:56,600 --> 01:52:58,720
Speaker 2: you so much for giving us the time today just

2388
01:52:58,760 --> 01:53:01,280
Speaker 2: to speak into your life. I hope, pray that God

2389
01:53:01,360 --> 01:53:03,400
Speaker 2: had pierced your heart, that maybe he opened your eyes,

2390
01:53:03,439 --> 01:53:05,200
Speaker 2: maybe he opened your ears, maybe you open your heart

2391
01:53:05,240 --> 01:53:07,000
Speaker 2: to something that He had prepared to reserve for you

2392
01:53:07,120 --> 01:53:10,240
Speaker 2: through today's conversation, through Ready's testimony. But I pray that

2393
01:53:10,280 --> 01:53:12,360
Speaker 2: you would hear the words and let these echo in

2394
01:53:12,439 --> 01:53:14,479
Speaker 2: and though your life, no matter how far you've strayed,

2395
01:53:14,560 --> 01:53:16,400
Speaker 2: or how far you've drifted, or what you've done, a

2396
01:53:16,520 --> 01:53:19,800
Speaker 2: pass mistake, whatever it is. Isaiah forty three verses wanted

2397
01:53:19,840 --> 01:53:22,200
Speaker 2: to say, fear not, right, be unafraid.

2398
01:53:22,320 --> 01:53:24,280
Speaker 3: Fear not. I have redeemed you.

2399
01:53:24,640 --> 01:53:28,400
Speaker 2: He's bought you for a price, a substitutionary death on

2400
01:53:28,479 --> 01:53:30,080
Speaker 2: the cross. He goes on to say, fear and not.

2401
01:53:30,120 --> 01:53:30,760
Speaker 2: I've redeemed you.

2402
01:53:30,880 --> 01:53:34,080
Speaker 3: I have called you by name. You are mine.

2403
01:53:34,520 --> 01:53:37,000
Speaker 2: When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.

2404
01:53:37,360 --> 01:53:38,920
Speaker 2: And when you pass through the rivers, they will not

2405
01:53:39,000 --> 01:53:40,840
Speaker 2: sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you

2406
01:53:40,880 --> 01:53:42,920
Speaker 2: will not be burned. The flames will not set you

2407
01:53:43,760 --> 01:53:44,280
Speaker 2: a blaze.

2408
01:53:44,360 --> 01:53:48,479
Speaker 3: For I am the Lord, your God. That's who our

2409
01:53:48,600 --> 01:53:49,160
Speaker 3: God is.

2410
01:53:49,600 --> 01:53:52,799
Speaker 2: I promise you when you return to Him, a doorway

2411
01:53:52,840 --> 01:53:56,439
Speaker 2: of hope will be opened wide unto you. I hope

2412
01:53:56,479 --> 01:53:58,880
Speaker 2: and pray you have an incredible Fourth of July holiday.

2413
01:53:58,880 --> 01:54:00,200
Speaker 2: I hope and pray that you would live in the

2414
01:54:00,280 --> 01:54:02,960
Speaker 2: celebration of what people, brave men and women continue to

2415
01:54:03,000 --> 01:54:05,519
Speaker 2: sacrifice on our behalf each and every day. But also

2416
01:54:05,600 --> 01:54:08,200
Speaker 2: take some time to reflect, Take some time to pray

2417
01:54:08,280 --> 01:54:10,200
Speaker 2: for the families for those that have fallen in the

2418
01:54:10,240 --> 01:54:12,519
Speaker 2: line of duty. Take some time to pray for those

2419
01:54:12,560 --> 01:54:15,639
Speaker 2: who are overseas right now doing something that we can't

2420
01:54:15,720 --> 01:54:19,799
Speaker 2: even imagine or fathom. Let us live with this posture

2421
01:54:19,880 --> 01:54:22,680
Speaker 2: of gratitude for what God has done and what for

2422
01:54:22,800 --> 01:54:25,439
Speaker 2: the brave and men and women continue to do on

2423
01:54:25,560 --> 01:54:27,960
Speaker 2: your behalf. Again, we love you, we appreciate you, we

2424
01:54:28,040 --> 01:54:29,800
Speaker 2: love being a part of your life. Thanks for joining us.

2425
01:54:30,280 --> 01:54:32,120
Speaker 2: Thank you Eddie Penny Again, have a great day.