1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:04,040 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:05,700 --> 00:00:08,940 Speaker 2: Welcome to the Love Offering Podcast. I'm your host, Rachel Adams, 3 00:00:09,060 --> 00:00:11,740 Speaker 2: author of Everyday Prayers for Love, Learning to Love God, Others, 4 00:00:11,860 --> 00:00:15,240 Speaker 2: and Even Yourself. Each week we dive into meaningful conversations 5 00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:17,980 Speaker 2: about how to live out the greatest commandment, loving God 6 00:00:18,020 --> 00:00:20,100 Speaker 2: with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and 7 00:00:20,140 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 2: loving our neighbors as ourselves. Whether through inspiring stories, practical wisdom, 8 00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:26,760 Speaker 2: or biblical truth, my hope is to encourage you to 9 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:30,220 Speaker 2: love boldly, live faithfully, and reflect God's love in your 10 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:34,240 Speaker 2: everyday life. Today, I'm honored to welcome Leslie Fosserman to 11 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:38,440 Speaker 2: the show. Leslie is an executive leadership coach, educator, TEDx speaker, 12 00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:41,270 Speaker 2: and founder of Lead with Intention, where she coaches and 13 00:00:41,310 --> 00:00:44,630 Speaker 2: trains individuals and teams in the science of emotional endurance. 14 00:00:45,229 --> 00:00:50,089 Speaker 2: In her book, Emotional Endurance, Leslie combines psychological research, biblical truth, 15 00:00:50,170 --> 00:00:53,630 Speaker 2: and professional experience and lessons from her own life to 16 00:00:53,670 --> 00:00:57,770 Speaker 2: help us recover from adversity, move forward with courage and clarity. 17 00:00:58,180 --> 00:01:01,500 Speaker 2: Through six core principles and 18 actionable skills, she shows 18 00:01:01,580 --> 00:01:05,040 Speaker 2: us how to recover from failure, manage our emotional energy, 19 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:08,970 Speaker 2: remain grounded in purpose, and build resilience that lasts beyond 20 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:13,530 Speaker 2: a single crisis. Well, hello, Leslie, and welcome to the 21 00:01:13,569 --> 00:01:15,330 Speaker 2: Love Offering Podcast. I'm so happy to have you. 22 00:01:16,090 --> 00:01:18,050 Speaker 1: I'm delighted to be here. Thank you so much. 23 00:01:19,190 --> 00:01:22,390 Speaker 2: So everything I just said in your bio is a mouthful. Like, 24 00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:24,670 Speaker 2: I'm so impressed by you already. 25 00:01:24,690 --> 00:01:26,690 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right. I did that. 26 00:01:26,770 --> 00:01:27,190 Speaker 2: Okay. 27 00:01:27,250 --> 00:01:27,830 Speaker 1: God is good. 28 00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:30,020 Speaker 2: Yes, he is. 29 00:01:30,060 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 1: Well, I'm excited. 30 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:32,660 Speaker 2: I was sharing with you before we hit record. I 31 00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:36,100 Speaker 2: don't know that we've had this specific topic in all 32 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,300 Speaker 2: eight seasons of the podcast. 33 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,120 Speaker 1: So I'm really excited to dive into it. 34 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 2: And I know it's going to be such an encouragement. 35 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:45,509 Speaker 2: So thanks for joining us. But if people don't know 36 00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:49,350 Speaker 2: much about you, other than the professional bio, give us 37 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:51,050 Speaker 2: the Leslie version of your life. 38 00:01:51,990 --> 00:01:55,250 Speaker 1: So I am a multi-passionate entrepreneur and a mom of 39 00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:57,720 Speaker 1: three young kids. So I always start there. I've been 40 00:01:57,740 --> 00:02:02,240 Speaker 1: a lifelong believer. So my faith infuses and informs everything 41 00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:04,620 Speaker 1: I do. So I'm a native Californian, but I've lived 42 00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:06,800 Speaker 1: kind of all over. So I grew up right outside 43 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,990 Speaker 1: of San Francisco, moved to LA for college. And then 44 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,590 Speaker 1: I moved from West LA to Central Illinois, where I 45 00:02:12,650 --> 00:02:15,950 Speaker 1: taught at the University of Illinois doing leadership education. So 46 00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:18,770 Speaker 1: my first kind of professional career was in higher education 47 00:02:18,870 --> 00:02:22,139 Speaker 1: and doing student leadership development. And then I started my 48 00:02:22,180 --> 00:02:26,100 Speaker 1: business and moved to Portland, Oregon. And then in my greatest, 49 00:02:26,220 --> 00:02:28,799 Speaker 1: I'd say PR effort of all time, I recruited my 50 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:32,080 Speaker 1: now husband from Sacramento, where I'm currently sitting, to move 51 00:02:32,150 --> 00:02:34,709 Speaker 1: to Portland. And we've known each other since we were eight. 52 00:02:34,910 --> 00:02:37,950 Speaker 1: So we've been best friends and never dated until we 53 00:02:37,990 --> 00:02:40,830 Speaker 1: were almost 28, to be fair. So we ended up 54 00:02:40,850 --> 00:02:44,310 Speaker 1: getting married. He moved to Oregon. And then four weeks 55 00:02:44,470 --> 00:02:47,020 Speaker 1: into our marriage, into like this lovely season of life, 56 00:02:47,430 --> 00:02:49,910 Speaker 1: we got a call from a nonprofit inviting us to 57 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,639 Speaker 1: move to the Middle East and run a whole volunteer 58 00:02:52,660 --> 00:02:55,300 Speaker 1: project for a year. So we fasted and prayed. And 59 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,130 Speaker 1: I was a little resistant, I'm not going to lie. 60 00:02:57,139 --> 00:02:59,019 Speaker 1: I was like, no, our life is great. We've been 61 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:02,400 Speaker 1: married a month. My husband, Joel, is such an adventure. 62 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 1: He's like, when are we ever going to get the 63 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:07,660 Speaker 1: opportunity to live in Jordan? I'm thinking, that's never been 64 00:03:07,740 --> 00:03:11,020 Speaker 1: on my radar. And we ended up going because I 65 00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:13,590 Speaker 1: had an ounce of submission and a lot of adventure, right? 66 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:16,370 Speaker 1: So we spent our first year of marriage serving abroad 67 00:03:16,389 --> 00:03:19,630 Speaker 1: in the Middle East. And then after the project concluded, 68 00:03:19,730 --> 00:03:22,669 Speaker 1: we moved back to his hometown of Sacramento, where we've 69 00:03:22,690 --> 00:03:26,389 Speaker 1: been for over a decade, and call home. So it's 70 00:03:26,410 --> 00:03:28,490 Speaker 1: been a lot of fun. We run a preschool here. 71 00:03:28,550 --> 00:03:32,690 Speaker 1: We run Sacramento's only co-working space with on-site child care 72 00:03:32,730 --> 00:03:35,750 Speaker 1: for infants and toddlers called The Maker's Place. So we've 73 00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 1: been doing that for nine years and served about 700 74 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:42,550 Speaker 1: families in the community. So It's been a true labor 75 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:45,370 Speaker 1: of love. And in the middle of this, we had 76 00:03:45,410 --> 00:03:47,790 Speaker 1: three kids and I wrote a book. So it's been 77 00:03:47,850 --> 00:03:49,570 Speaker 1: a journey. Wow. 78 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 2: You need endurance for all that you were doing. 79 00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:53,840 Speaker 1: I'm so impressed. I had to live it out to 80 00:03:53,860 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 1: write it, right? 81 00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:58,220 Speaker 2: That's right. Well, so before we explore the principles in 82 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:01,140 Speaker 2: your book, tell us about a difficult season in your 83 00:04:01,180 --> 00:04:04,350 Speaker 2: own life that taught you the importance of emotional endurance. 84 00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,310 Speaker 2: Was there some specific season or do you feel like 85 00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:07,610 Speaker 2: it's just been life in general? 86 00:04:08,370 --> 00:04:10,830 Speaker 1: So I think it's just this long-suffering journey that most 87 00:04:10,870 --> 00:04:14,120 Speaker 1: of us are on and looking and saying, how do 88 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:16,839 Speaker 1: I deal with whatever is in my path? So in 89 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 1: my lived experience, I did a lot of this learning 90 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 1: in my 20s. So I moved away from home for 91 00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:23,500 Speaker 1: the first time, was in college and grad school, got 92 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:26,880 Speaker 1: my first professional job. So I jokingly say that I 93 00:04:26,940 --> 00:04:30,450 Speaker 1: learned the principles of emotional endurance and practice in my 20s, 94 00:04:30,860 --> 00:04:33,190 Speaker 1: and then I learned to name them and teach them 95 00:04:33,250 --> 00:04:35,250 Speaker 1: in my 30s. So as a coach and a trainer 96 00:04:35,290 --> 00:04:37,630 Speaker 1: and a speaker, And now in my early 40s, I 97 00:04:37,670 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: wrote about them so more people have access to them. 98 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:43,740 Speaker 2: Well, I'm excited to dive into all of this, but 99 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:45,270 Speaker 2: we're going to take a brief break to hear a 100 00:04:45,270 --> 00:04:47,110 Speaker 2: word from our sponsor. And when we come back, we'll 101 00:04:47,150 --> 00:04:50,109 Speaker 2: talk about why some people recover from adversity while others 102 00:04:50,270 --> 00:04:56,820 Speaker 2: remain stuck. Welcome back. I'm talking with Leslie Bosserman about 103 00:04:56,860 --> 00:05:00,900 Speaker 2: her book, Emotional Endurance. So how do you define emotional 104 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,180 Speaker 2: endurance and how is it different from resilience, suppressing our 105 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:06,219 Speaker 2: emotions or simply pushing through pain? 106 00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:09,480 Speaker 1: Such a good question. I get asked this a lot 107 00:05:09,540 --> 00:05:11,940 Speaker 1: because a lot of us read books on resilience or 108 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,180 Speaker 1: we say, oh, we just need more resilience. And resilience 109 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:17,180 Speaker 1: is a skill of emotional endurance. But emotional endurance is 110 00:05:17,220 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 1: a larger framework that teaches skills-based practices. So Whatever we're facing, 111 00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 1: whatever is in our path, whatever we might feel stuck 112 00:05:24,740 --> 00:05:28,280 Speaker 1: in or hard pressed by, we can continue on, but 113 00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:31,020 Speaker 1: we have to rise up with resilience. So I'm gonna 114 00:05:31,050 --> 00:05:33,210 Speaker 1: actually read you the definition in the book. It's, I'm 115 00:05:33,230 --> 00:05:36,310 Speaker 1: an introduction. It says, emotional endurance is the dynamic inner 116 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:40,630 Speaker 1: capacity to keep going and rise above our circumstances as 117 00:05:40,690 --> 00:05:43,490 Speaker 1: we deal with life stresses and challenges. So that sounds 118 00:05:43,550 --> 00:05:45,390 Speaker 1: really pretty in package, but let me break that down. 119 00:05:45,550 --> 00:05:49,279 Speaker 1: So when I first started living and leading with emotional endurance, 120 00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:53,220 Speaker 1: It's sort of that secret sauce of when hard stuff happens, 121 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,000 Speaker 1: how do you not let it harden you? How do 122 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:59,540 Speaker 1: you take whatever that is and put it through a 123 00:05:59,580 --> 00:06:04,360 Speaker 1: faith-based lens of hope and courage and grit and having 124 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 1: a growth mindset? So all these skills that we can 125 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:10,570 Speaker 1: learn in order to persevere and overcome. And so that's 126 00:06:10,610 --> 00:06:13,210 Speaker 1: where I took all this science and psychology that I've 127 00:06:13,230 --> 00:06:16,450 Speaker 1: been studying and teaching and said, the Bible said it first, 128 00:06:16,589 --> 00:06:18,350 Speaker 1: science proved it, and here's how we can live it. 129 00:06:20,029 --> 00:06:20,510 Speaker 1: I love that. 130 00:06:20,610 --> 00:06:23,750 Speaker 2: Okay, so why do you think that some people seem 131 00:06:23,970 --> 00:06:27,669 Speaker 2: able to recover and grow after adversity while others remain stuck? 132 00:06:28,110 --> 00:06:32,070 Speaker 2: And how does psychological research and biblical truth work together 133 00:06:32,150 --> 00:06:33,850 Speaker 2: to help us understand the difference? 134 00:06:34,710 --> 00:06:38,370 Speaker 1: So good. When I look at individual stories, it would 135 00:06:38,390 --> 00:06:41,530 Speaker 1: be hard to typecast, this is why everyone's stuck and 136 00:06:41,550 --> 00:06:44,539 Speaker 1: these people aren't stuck, right? I can't claim to know 137 00:06:44,620 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 1: somebody's entire identity or anything that they are burdened by. 138 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,120 Speaker 1: So I want to just put that as a disclaimer. 139 00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:52,660 Speaker 1: So if you're one of the listeners who's feeling a 140 00:06:53,260 --> 00:06:56,280 Speaker 1: little more stuck or just you don't have a pathway forward, 141 00:06:56,660 --> 00:06:58,419 Speaker 1: one of the first things I go to is the 142 00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:02,000 Speaker 1: science of hope. And the Bible obviously talks about hope 143 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:05,060 Speaker 1: and really looking at what are we hoping in and 144 00:07:05,110 --> 00:07:08,750 Speaker 1: hoping for? And that is in eternal life, right? And 145 00:07:08,810 --> 00:07:11,890 Speaker 1: having a beautiful relationship with our creator and our father 146 00:07:12,110 --> 00:07:15,680 Speaker 1: and having this incredible hope in something more than the 147 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,880 Speaker 1: struggles we're in now. So hope is really the forecasting 148 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:21,160 Speaker 1: of what is to come. It is more positive than 149 00:07:21,220 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 1: what we're experiencing now. But science breaks it down and 150 00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:28,010 Speaker 1: they look at both willpower and waypower. And the willpower 151 00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:31,030 Speaker 1: is that internal drive of if I'm feeling stuck, if 152 00:07:31,090 --> 00:07:35,050 Speaker 1: I'm feeling like there's no other option, is there agency? 153 00:07:35,190 --> 00:07:37,740 Speaker 1: Is there something that I can do as an individual 154 00:07:38,260 --> 00:07:41,700 Speaker 1: to help me move forward? And some people lack willpower. Now, 155 00:07:41,820 --> 00:07:45,740 Speaker 1: waypower is almost the opposite. It's the external possibilities. So 156 00:07:45,780 --> 00:07:49,220 Speaker 1: looking at different pathways, different opportunities. And if you don't 157 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 1: have waypower, then you might have like, oh, I really 158 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,040 Speaker 1: want to do something. I just don't know where to go. 159 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,540 Speaker 1: And so when I take the psychology of hope that 160 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,340 Speaker 1: was coined by the late Rick Snyder is the positive 161 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,470 Speaker 1: psychologist who studied hope. And he looks at both this 162 00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:07,550 Speaker 1: agency and pathways thinking with willpower and waypower and And 163 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:10,510 Speaker 1: then you infuse that through this lens of God designed 164 00:08:10,570 --> 00:08:13,650 Speaker 1: us to be hopeful. Now, that doesn't mean we discount 165 00:08:13,740 --> 00:08:17,140 Speaker 1: what we're going through because these circumstances shape our character. 166 00:08:17,180 --> 00:08:19,820 Speaker 1: They shape who we are if we let them. So 167 00:08:20,140 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 1: I always say you're always at choice. You can choose 168 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,920 Speaker 1: to stay stuck and play victim or you can say 169 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:28,740 Speaker 1: what is in my ability to change or choose and 170 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,120 Speaker 1: then what other pathways or opportunities are possible. 171 00:08:31,430 --> 00:08:35,890 Speaker 2: So you organize emotional endurance around six core principles, and 172 00:08:35,910 --> 00:08:37,930 Speaker 2: that's a lot to unpack. And everybody just needs to 173 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,959 Speaker 2: go and grab your book. But can you like give 174 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:44,600 Speaker 2: us just a Cliff Notes version, like briefly introduce those principles? 175 00:08:44,740 --> 00:08:48,100 Speaker 1: Of course. So we have six. The framework really is 176 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:51,620 Speaker 1: built on these six principles, and each principle has three 177 00:08:52,100 --> 00:08:54,469 Speaker 1: actionable skills. So on a really high level, when I 178 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:56,530 Speaker 1: wrote this book, I wanted someone to be able to 179 00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:59,790 Speaker 1: pick it up. start anywhere. So let's say you're having 180 00:08:59,809 --> 00:09:01,989 Speaker 1: a hard day and you're like, man, hope sounds really good. 181 00:09:02,290 --> 00:09:04,470 Speaker 1: They could turn to the principle on hope and start there. 182 00:09:04,910 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 1: Now it does build upon each other because it kind 183 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,179 Speaker 1: of was ordered in a certain way and it can 184 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,420 Speaker 1: still be read out of order. So I'm just gonna 185 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,200 Speaker 1: give you really high levels. So principle one goes into 186 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:19,040 Speaker 1: the fortitude to fail. So it really dives into understanding 187 00:09:19,260 --> 00:09:22,360 Speaker 1: your emotions and what might trigger you and the response 188 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:25,179 Speaker 1: to that. And then how do you take the God-given 189 00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:29,100 Speaker 1: strengths you have and use them for good, but also 190 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 1: intentionally prepare to fail in them and recover. And that 191 00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,360 Speaker 1: kind of leads us into principle two, which is resilience 192 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,240 Speaker 1: to rise. And that goes all into the science of resilience. 193 00:09:38,380 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 1: It goes into when you're facing the unknown, when there's 194 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,600 Speaker 1: a setback that you don't anticipate, really looking at what 195 00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:49,020 Speaker 1: is driving your motivation. And then principle three is hope 196 00:09:49,070 --> 00:09:50,830 Speaker 1: to heal. So I gave you a little bit more 197 00:09:50,910 --> 00:09:53,330 Speaker 1: depth on that when we talked about hope and really 198 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:58,470 Speaker 1: understanding what instills hope, but also what increases our margin. 199 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,740 Speaker 1: And so that's a big kind of concept that you 200 00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:03,520 Speaker 1: hear about a lot, just having more breathing room or 201 00:10:03,660 --> 00:10:06,620 Speaker 1: space to actually be in the world. So you can 202 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:10,160 Speaker 1: do more as well. And principle four is courage to change. 203 00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:14,700 Speaker 1: So once you have learned to fail well, risen with resilience, 204 00:10:15,140 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 1: move forward with hope and inner healing, it's saying, what 205 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:20,290 Speaker 1: do I need to actually take ownership of? to make 206 00:10:20,330 --> 00:10:22,290 Speaker 1: some deep change in my life to transform so I'm 207 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:25,910 Speaker 1: more Christ-like? And how does mindset science play into that? 208 00:10:26,429 --> 00:10:29,410 Speaker 1: How do I understand my comfort zone, which is something 209 00:10:29,450 --> 00:10:32,660 Speaker 1: that we all like to kind of stay in most 210 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:34,820 Speaker 1: of the time. Some of us are more thrill-seeking. And 211 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:37,280 Speaker 1: that goes into principle five, which is energy to engage. 212 00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 1: So that's all on the science of energy management, really 213 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 1: understanding how our stress response ties into our energy and 214 00:10:43,570 --> 00:10:47,190 Speaker 1: our focus. And that dovetails into the last and final 215 00:10:47,210 --> 00:10:50,870 Speaker 1: principle six, which is purpose to persevere. And that goes 216 00:10:50,929 --> 00:10:55,030 Speaker 1: more into understanding fulfillment and leaving a legacy and really 217 00:10:55,870 --> 00:10:59,670 Speaker 1: kind of moving into our deeper calling as believers. So 218 00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:03,290 Speaker 1: it builds upon it, but I mean, that is the 219 00:11:03,380 --> 00:11:06,620 Speaker 1: Cliff Notes version in a nutshell. But what I love is, 220 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:10,080 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm a busy mom, right? I'm running a preschool. 221 00:11:10,179 --> 00:11:13,080 Speaker 1: I had a kindergartner and I want a book where 222 00:11:13,710 --> 00:11:16,510 Speaker 1: I can pick it up and I can say, can 223 00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:18,929 Speaker 1: I just read for two minutes? I have two minutes 224 00:11:18,950 --> 00:11:21,660 Speaker 1: and I just need a reset. And I wanted to 225 00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:25,440 Speaker 1: design something that was both beautiful and accessible for the 226 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:28,840 Speaker 1: everyday person. No matter if you're in college and you're 227 00:11:28,860 --> 00:11:30,740 Speaker 1: in your 20s and you're like, I'm just a little stuck. 228 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,650 Speaker 1: Or maybe you've retired and or you become a new 229 00:11:33,690 --> 00:11:35,990 Speaker 1: grandparent and you're trying to figure out what this new 230 00:11:36,030 --> 00:11:38,520 Speaker 1: season is. Or you're in the middle with us and 231 00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:41,220 Speaker 1: you're figuring out perimenopause and all the great things that 232 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:43,900 Speaker 1: come with that, right? So that's where maybe energy to 233 00:11:43,940 --> 00:11:46,800 Speaker 1: engage is a good one to start with. But I 234 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,240 Speaker 1: share this because each skill can be read in like 235 00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:51,859 Speaker 1: three to five minutes. And then the end of each 236 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:55,439 Speaker 1: of the six principles, there's a connect and reflect section 237 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:59,380 Speaker 1: that has questions for reflection and just deeper exploration. So 238 00:12:00,140 --> 00:12:01,040 Speaker 1: that's the life coach. 239 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:05,200 Speaker 2: Yes, what a rich resource. And I want to... dive 240 00:12:05,340 --> 00:12:06,980 Speaker 2: in a little bit deeper to some of those that 241 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:10,470 Speaker 2: you talked about. So you mentioned failure. I think failure 242 00:12:10,490 --> 00:12:12,890 Speaker 2: can easily become part of our identity. So how can 243 00:12:12,910 --> 00:12:16,709 Speaker 2: we honestly acknowledge what happened, learn from it, and allow 244 00:12:16,750 --> 00:12:19,810 Speaker 2: God to use it without letting it define who we are? 245 00:12:20,550 --> 00:12:24,590 Speaker 1: Wow. So I always start with, is it actually failure? 246 00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:27,370 Speaker 1: Because a lot of people say, oh, I'm such a failure, 247 00:12:27,470 --> 00:12:30,860 Speaker 1: or I failed at this. I cannot believe this happened. 248 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:34,179 Speaker 1: And oftentimes, when you unpack it, you realize it's not 249 00:12:34,660 --> 00:12:38,550 Speaker 1: actually a failure, it's just not succeeding yet. And so 250 00:12:38,710 --> 00:12:42,290 Speaker 1: I have this model called the spectrum of success. And 251 00:12:42,330 --> 00:12:44,670 Speaker 1: it starts with failure, like true failure over here. And 252 00:12:44,790 --> 00:12:48,230 Speaker 1: I would say failure only occurs when you don't choose 253 00:12:48,270 --> 00:12:51,689 Speaker 1: to change or grow from something, or you keep repeating 254 00:12:51,710 --> 00:12:55,050 Speaker 1: the same mistakes without any awareness or acknowledgement, even maybe 255 00:12:55,070 --> 00:12:59,489 Speaker 1: when you've had sound counselor feedback, right? So if you're 256 00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:02,090 Speaker 1: seeking to grow and change and learn, you're not failing. 257 00:13:02,270 --> 00:13:06,559 Speaker 1: You're in a process of learning. So failure here, success 258 00:13:06,740 --> 00:13:08,860 Speaker 1: all the way over here, and the space in between 259 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,700 Speaker 1: is the not yet space. So it just means you 260 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:15,200 Speaker 1: haven't succeeded yet. So I use a skill called scaling 261 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,960 Speaker 1: out of solutions focused thinking, where if I'm working with 262 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,440 Speaker 1: a client, I'm like, Oh, I'm so frustrated. I feel 263 00:13:20,460 --> 00:13:23,270 Speaker 1: like such a failure. So okay, well, what's working well, 264 00:13:23,650 --> 00:13:25,670 Speaker 1: which is not a question you normally think of when 265 00:13:25,710 --> 00:13:28,370 Speaker 1: you think of failure. And I have the name, just 266 00:13:28,730 --> 00:13:31,589 Speaker 1: one thing that is actually working. And we say, okay, 267 00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:33,349 Speaker 1: you're not at a zero. You might be at a 268 00:13:33,530 --> 00:13:36,150 Speaker 1: one or a two and you wanna get to 10. 269 00:13:36,150 --> 00:13:38,460 Speaker 1: You're not at a nine and that's frustrating, but at 270 00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:41,079 Speaker 1: a two, you already have two points of experience and 271 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:44,380 Speaker 1: know-how to move forward. And so we always take stock 272 00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:46,540 Speaker 1: of what we know So we can use that to grow. 273 00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:49,720 Speaker 2: I can tell that you have been coaching and teaching 274 00:13:49,940 --> 00:13:52,620 Speaker 2: and living through all of this. And so this is 275 00:13:52,660 --> 00:13:55,920 Speaker 2: such a hopeful conversation. I think one of the things 276 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:59,740 Speaker 2: that can leave us paralyzed is just fear and pain. 277 00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:01,780 Speaker 2: And I think so many of us are just desperate 278 00:14:01,820 --> 00:14:05,400 Speaker 2: to find healing quickly. So what practical steps can help 279 00:14:05,460 --> 00:14:09,080 Speaker 2: us move toward courage and clarity while honoring the time 280 00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:10,680 Speaker 2: that healing actually requires? 281 00:14:11,420 --> 00:14:14,740 Speaker 1: So this hits pretty deeply because there are so many 282 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,599 Speaker 1: things So many times in my personal life and just 283 00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:20,520 Speaker 1: my dear friends and family where we want an immediate solution. 284 00:14:20,820 --> 00:14:22,780 Speaker 1: And I mean, the Internet's full of things that will 285 00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:25,380 Speaker 1: get rid of any ailment you have. Right. And we 286 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:28,900 Speaker 1: want a quick fix. Yet when I was really studying 287 00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:32,410 Speaker 1: kind of hope and healing and this kind of long 288 00:14:32,450 --> 00:14:35,240 Speaker 1: suffering that is a fruit of the spirit. One of 289 00:14:35,340 --> 00:14:38,120 Speaker 1: the core things I realized was how many times in 290 00:14:38,140 --> 00:14:41,050 Speaker 1: the New Testament specifically, but in the entire Bible, the 291 00:14:41,090 --> 00:14:45,390 Speaker 1: word immediately happened, right? So when we look at healing 292 00:14:45,410 --> 00:14:49,110 Speaker 1: in the Bible and miracles, the woman who touches Jesus's garment, 293 00:14:49,590 --> 00:14:52,650 Speaker 1: and then immediately the flow of blood has been stopped. 294 00:14:53,270 --> 00:14:55,989 Speaker 1: Yet we have to also see that it's been over 295 00:14:56,010 --> 00:14:58,870 Speaker 1: a decade. She's had a flow of blood. The healing 296 00:14:58,930 --> 00:15:02,590 Speaker 1: was immediate. The process to get to that moment was not. 297 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:07,550 Speaker 1: So I always say, we are not God. And because 298 00:15:07,590 --> 00:15:10,590 Speaker 1: of that, we trust and have faith in the powerful 299 00:15:10,650 --> 00:15:14,750 Speaker 1: timing and the all-knowing, just amazing grace that God has 300 00:15:14,810 --> 00:15:17,110 Speaker 1: for us. And when we try to play God and 301 00:15:17,130 --> 00:15:18,690 Speaker 1: we reverse that role and we're like, well, I'm just 302 00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:20,510 Speaker 1: going to fix this. I'm just going to heal myself 303 00:15:21,030 --> 00:15:23,030 Speaker 1: and I'll be fine. Okay. And what I'm not saying 304 00:15:23,070 --> 00:15:25,240 Speaker 1: is a caveat. I'm not saying don't go to a 305 00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:28,880 Speaker 1: physician or don't seek out mental health. Obviously do those things. 306 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:33,570 Speaker 1: That's very good for you. But Don't discount God's timing 307 00:15:33,630 --> 00:15:37,490 Speaker 1: in the process of healing because that immediately is like 308 00:15:37,530 --> 00:15:39,490 Speaker 1: a split second to God where it feels like a 309 00:15:39,530 --> 00:15:42,900 Speaker 1: lifetime to us. So the encouragement in this is knowing 310 00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 1: that everything you're going through right now, God uses and 311 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:47,870 Speaker 1: redeems for his purpose if you let him. 312 00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:51,160 Speaker 2: I love your perspective and you're helping me to shift mine. 313 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,160 Speaker 2: And I can't wait to continue today's conversation. But we're 314 00:15:54,180 --> 00:15:55,760 Speaker 2: going to take another brief break to hear a word 315 00:15:55,820 --> 00:15:57,920 Speaker 2: from our sponsor. And when we come back, we'll talk 316 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:01,450 Speaker 2: about managing our energy, finding strength in our purpose and 317 00:16:01,530 --> 00:16:07,560 Speaker 2: cultivating hope that lasts. Welcome back. I'm talking with Leslie 318 00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:11,500 Speaker 2: Bosserman about her book, Emotional Endurance. What do you think, Leslie, 319 00:16:11,580 --> 00:16:14,920 Speaker 2: are some early warning signs that our emotional reserves are 320 00:16:14,970 --> 00:16:17,570 Speaker 2: running low? And how can we protect our energy and 321 00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:20,790 Speaker 2: make room for restoration before we reach a breaking point? 322 00:16:21,790 --> 00:16:25,930 Speaker 1: So I've lived this one. This is the messy confession, right? 323 00:16:25,950 --> 00:16:28,820 Speaker 1: We all have these. But I live a high-octane life. 324 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:31,490 Speaker 1: I balance a lot. I juggle. And I know that 325 00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:34,250 Speaker 1: if the load I'm carrying, like the obligations and the 326 00:16:34,270 --> 00:16:38,610 Speaker 1: stressors and all the stuff, is heavier than my resources 327 00:16:39,330 --> 00:16:44,050 Speaker 1: or the power. So I define margin as power minus 328 00:16:44,130 --> 00:16:46,970 Speaker 1: load is your available margin. And that is from Dr. 329 00:16:47,030 --> 00:16:49,960 Speaker 1: Richard Swenson in his book, Margin. He's a physician that 330 00:16:50,060 --> 00:16:52,420 Speaker 1: studied all these different patients who are coming to him 331 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,760 Speaker 1: these overwhelmed lives. And he said, you know, your diagnosis 332 00:16:55,830 --> 00:16:57,850 Speaker 1: is a lack of margin in your life. And so 333 00:16:57,890 --> 00:17:01,690 Speaker 1: the first thing I would say, if you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed, 334 00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:04,630 Speaker 1: if you're snappy at people, one, get a snack because 335 00:17:04,670 --> 00:17:06,930 Speaker 1: a snack can help. I always say, get a snack, 336 00:17:07,100 --> 00:17:08,280 Speaker 1: eat your protein, hydrate. 337 00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:08,840 Speaker 2: Okay. 338 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 1: So that's like baseline number one. That is not medical advice. 339 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:15,030 Speaker 1: That's just mom advice. And And probably has been advice too. 340 00:17:16,290 --> 00:17:20,590 Speaker 1: When I realized that in my life, I'm running on reserves, 341 00:17:20,990 --> 00:17:23,310 Speaker 1: I have to take a break. And my MO, my 342 00:17:23,369 --> 00:17:26,150 Speaker 1: default is push through, get it done. You can rest 343 00:17:26,210 --> 00:17:28,400 Speaker 1: when it's done. And I think one of the core 344 00:17:28,420 --> 00:17:32,619 Speaker 1: reasons I wrote this book was allowing myself the permission 345 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 1: to break that cycle and say, this is not healthy. 346 00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:38,659 Speaker 1: God didn't design us for this. God actually modeled a 347 00:17:38,859 --> 00:17:41,380 Speaker 1: seventh day Sabbath where you can rest and you have 348 00:17:41,420 --> 00:17:45,770 Speaker 1: this ability to to have this pause like he ordained 349 00:17:45,950 --> 00:17:49,340 Speaker 1: time sacred and I look at this I'm like this 350 00:17:49,380 --> 00:17:52,260 Speaker 1: is incredible and when we practice this and practice it 351 00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:56,100 Speaker 1: with spiritual integrity like you actually feel rested and you 352 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:58,010 Speaker 1: can take moments of rest throughout the day you don't 353 00:17:58,050 --> 00:18:00,680 Speaker 1: have to wait until like the weekend to do this, right? 354 00:18:01,020 --> 00:18:03,240 Speaker 1: And so one of the things that I've started doing 355 00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:07,350 Speaker 1: more is finding like really purposeful pauses in my day. 356 00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:10,490 Speaker 1: So if I'm in between a meeting or transitioning to 357 00:18:10,530 --> 00:18:13,070 Speaker 1: pick up a child from school, before I just shift 358 00:18:13,090 --> 00:18:16,230 Speaker 1: to the next thing, I'll take some deep breaths. I'll stretch. 359 00:18:16,510 --> 00:18:19,230 Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll walk around the block and just get some 360 00:18:19,290 --> 00:18:22,010 Speaker 1: fresh air, often with a really good cup of something 361 00:18:22,410 --> 00:18:24,590 Speaker 1: and really find those moments of rest. 362 00:18:24,910 --> 00:18:28,470 Speaker 2: You also encourage readers to stand firm in a clearly 363 00:18:28,550 --> 00:18:33,500 Speaker 2: defined purpose. How does purpose strengthen us during adversity, and 364 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:37,119 Speaker 2: how can we distinguish our God-given purpose from a role, 365 00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:39,639 Speaker 2: a relationship, or a dream that may change? 366 00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:43,220 Speaker 1: Oh, I love it. So purpose is one of those 367 00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:47,180 Speaker 1: things that we, I think we're intentionally designed to seek. 368 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:51,080 Speaker 1: We also have to juxtapose this with the scripture that says, 369 00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:54,430 Speaker 1: this is not our homeland, right? So We are really 370 00:18:54,530 --> 00:18:58,189 Speaker 1: designed with this desire to create and cultivate because we 371 00:18:58,230 --> 00:19:00,570 Speaker 1: were created in God's image. And he is a creator. 372 00:19:00,930 --> 00:19:04,060 Speaker 1: He cultivated this whole beautiful world. And the dreams and 373 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:05,879 Speaker 1: the ideas and the things that we can do to 374 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:10,000 Speaker 1: serve others are our true callings. Now, I'm not an 375 00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:13,080 Speaker 1: expert at every one of your lives where I can say, yes, 376 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,680 Speaker 1: this is your call. You know, this is just a 377 00:19:14,700 --> 00:19:16,979 Speaker 1: nice dream. Like, I'm never going to say that to someone. 378 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,649 Speaker 1: But when I work with clients, I really get clear 379 00:19:19,710 --> 00:19:22,280 Speaker 1: with them on what are your goals and How are 380 00:19:22,300 --> 00:19:25,620 Speaker 1: your goals aligning with your actions? Who are you doing 381 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,800 Speaker 1: this in service of? Maybe it's your family. Maybe it's 382 00:19:27,820 --> 00:19:30,240 Speaker 1: just something creative you want to cultivate, you want to do. 383 00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:33,939 Speaker 1: When we started The Maker's Place nine years ago, I actually, 384 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,140 Speaker 1: nine years ago almost to the day, sketched the idea 385 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,689 Speaker 1: on a napkin and said, wouldn't it be neat to 386 00:19:39,750 --> 00:19:43,090 Speaker 1: have a community where working parents with really young kids 387 00:19:43,609 --> 00:19:46,649 Speaker 1: could come together and we could help each other and 388 00:19:46,670 --> 00:19:48,810 Speaker 1: we could be that village that so many people talk 389 00:19:48,869 --> 00:19:53,379 Speaker 1: about but lack? And we basically created something out of 390 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:55,560 Speaker 1: a need of our own. And so when I think 391 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,139 Speaker 1: about purpose, I think it's really tied to what do 392 00:19:58,180 --> 00:20:00,420 Speaker 1: you see as a community need or a family need 393 00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:03,440 Speaker 1: or a need in your church? And how do you 394 00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:06,119 Speaker 1: then use those skills and the talents and the passion 395 00:20:06,140 --> 00:20:08,959 Speaker 1: that you have, but also the resourcing? So if you 396 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,230 Speaker 1: don't have the available resource, so time, energy, and money 397 00:20:12,250 --> 00:20:14,610 Speaker 1: are sort of those core three resources, and you still 398 00:20:14,650 --> 00:20:17,330 Speaker 1: feel called to do something, you have to ask yourself, 399 00:20:17,859 --> 00:20:21,020 Speaker 1: is this the right season to follow this calling? You 400 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:24,000 Speaker 1: can have a great purpose and a great calling, but 401 00:20:24,060 --> 00:20:26,780 Speaker 1: if you are not resourced to do that and equipped 402 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,290 Speaker 1: to do that, you will burn out. And no one 403 00:20:29,330 --> 00:20:31,889 Speaker 1: wants to burn out. It's not a fun thing we 404 00:20:31,930 --> 00:20:33,370 Speaker 1: go into business in, right? 405 00:20:34,030 --> 00:20:38,600 Speaker 2: That's right. I know we talked about hope in the beginning, 406 00:20:38,619 --> 00:20:40,679 Speaker 2: so I want to circle back to that and see 407 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,219 Speaker 2: if you can elaborate just a bit more. So what 408 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:47,030 Speaker 2: does it mean to access hope when hope feels distant, 409 00:20:47,150 --> 00:20:51,330 Speaker 2: and what role do trusted friends, community, and counselors, and 410 00:20:51,470 --> 00:20:54,449 Speaker 2: maybe other sources of support play in our healing? 411 00:20:54,470 --> 00:21:00,739 Speaker 1: That's wonderful. When I think of seasons of hopelessness, what 412 00:21:00,780 --> 00:21:03,189 Speaker 1: the enemy does is gets in our brain and our 413 00:21:03,230 --> 00:21:06,780 Speaker 1: heart and says, isolate, you're worthless. You should be alone. 414 00:21:06,859 --> 00:21:09,179 Speaker 1: No one wants to see you like this. So the 415 00:21:09,260 --> 00:21:12,859 Speaker 1: very first thing I've learned to do, and it's really hard, 416 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:16,300 Speaker 1: is to not do that, to not listen, to rebuke 417 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:21,040 Speaker 1: that lying, terrible advice and to say, no, I am 418 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:23,869 Speaker 1: called and created to be in community with other believers 419 00:21:24,290 --> 00:21:28,730 Speaker 1: who will champion my faith and know that my brokenness 420 00:21:28,790 --> 00:21:32,560 Speaker 1: right now is only space for redemption. Like, This is 421 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:35,700 Speaker 1: the pieces of this beautiful broken mosaic are what God 422 00:21:35,859 --> 00:21:38,730 Speaker 1: uses to create a masterpiece. And so the bottom line 423 00:21:38,750 --> 00:21:40,910 Speaker 1: of this is if you're feeling hopeless, if you're feeling 424 00:21:40,990 --> 00:21:45,090 Speaker 1: lost or stuck or unworthy, whatever feeling of less than 425 00:21:45,130 --> 00:21:47,909 Speaker 1: or inadequacy, number one, call out the lie that the 426 00:21:47,970 --> 00:21:50,290 Speaker 1: enemy has put in your heart and just say, you 427 00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:52,170 Speaker 1: don't have space here. I don't have time for this. 428 00:21:52,780 --> 00:21:55,640 Speaker 1: And then replace that lie with the truth that you 429 00:21:55,780 --> 00:21:58,740 Speaker 1: are a beloved daughter or son of God. And you 430 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,080 Speaker 1: have a story that's so much bigger than this moment. 431 00:22:01,790 --> 00:22:04,649 Speaker 1: And when you can access that hope and then partner, 432 00:22:04,670 --> 00:22:06,710 Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be a whole small group or 433 00:22:06,730 --> 00:22:09,600 Speaker 1: a whole church community, one person, one other person where 434 00:22:09,630 --> 00:22:12,540 Speaker 1: you trust them and you say, I'm broken right now. 435 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,700 Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. I've lost hope. I'm scared. 436 00:22:16,140 --> 00:22:18,859 Speaker 1: I feel alone. And you open up and you have 437 00:22:19,380 --> 00:22:23,179 Speaker 1: that sense of vulnerability with accountability. There's so much power 438 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:27,190 Speaker 1: in that. And pray with them and pray for them. 439 00:22:27,690 --> 00:22:30,430 Speaker 1: And when you can champion that spirit, I mean, God's 440 00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:32,649 Speaker 1: Holy Spirit will work in that and through that. And 441 00:22:32,690 --> 00:22:34,350 Speaker 1: it is amazing what you will see. 442 00:22:35,650 --> 00:22:39,330 Speaker 2: Yes, I agree. It really is. So for the woman 443 00:22:39,570 --> 00:22:43,850 Speaker 2: who is feeling emotionally depleted and cannot imagine becoming stronger 444 00:22:44,170 --> 00:22:47,710 Speaker 2: through what she is facing, what is one small practice 445 00:22:47,750 --> 00:22:50,930 Speaker 2: she can begin today? And how can growing in emotional 446 00:22:50,950 --> 00:22:55,830 Speaker 2: endurance help her love God, others, and herself even more faithfully? Okay. 447 00:22:55,850 --> 00:22:57,910 Speaker 1: So this is going to be a little unconventional, but fun. 448 00:22:57,950 --> 00:22:58,390 Speaker 1: Are you ready? 449 00:22:58,410 --> 00:22:59,430 Speaker 2: I'm ready. 450 00:22:59,490 --> 00:23:03,070 Speaker 1: So I am the master of like the epic to-do list. 451 00:23:03,130 --> 00:23:04,879 Speaker 1: I'm like, I got my list. I can get the 452 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:08,480 Speaker 1: things done. And then where I often feel depleted or 453 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:11,960 Speaker 1: frustrated is when maybe one of the 20,000 things gets 454 00:23:12,220 --> 00:23:14,840 Speaker 1: movement in and I have like all the things unchecked. 455 00:23:15,020 --> 00:23:17,230 Speaker 1: So a practice that I talk about in my book, 456 00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:20,250 Speaker 1: but also in my life is instead of just creating 457 00:23:20,270 --> 00:23:22,860 Speaker 1: a to-do list, At the end of the day, you 458 00:23:22,890 --> 00:23:25,640 Speaker 1: create a ta-da list. And yes, I have jazz hands 459 00:23:25,700 --> 00:23:29,380 Speaker 1: because saying ta-da has jazz hands. So what that means 460 00:23:29,619 --> 00:23:32,960 Speaker 1: is before you go to bed, you do your skincare routine, 461 00:23:32,980 --> 00:23:35,320 Speaker 1: you do whatever you need to do to like get grounded, 462 00:23:35,740 --> 00:23:39,090 Speaker 1: your prayer, and then either in a separate journal or 463 00:23:39,109 --> 00:23:41,530 Speaker 1: I have a pack of neon post-it notes and you 464 00:23:41,570 --> 00:23:45,530 Speaker 1: write down the things you accomplished today or moved forward 465 00:23:45,570 --> 00:23:48,150 Speaker 1: in that you feel proud of. That someone else, like 466 00:23:48,210 --> 00:23:51,550 Speaker 1: the little inner five-year-old would be like, ta-da, you did that, 467 00:23:51,630 --> 00:23:54,449 Speaker 1: great job. Because a lot of times we're waiting for 468 00:23:54,490 --> 00:23:57,570 Speaker 1: the great job from someone else. We can give ourselves 469 00:23:57,650 --> 00:23:59,950 Speaker 1: the great job. God is looking down at us saying, 470 00:24:00,369 --> 00:24:04,640 Speaker 1: well done, daughter, well done. And we have to acknowledge 471 00:24:04,700 --> 00:24:06,920 Speaker 1: those things. So it's more than just the things we're 472 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,420 Speaker 1: grateful for. I think a gratitude list is powerful. There's 473 00:24:09,460 --> 00:24:13,000 Speaker 1: science behind that. But pairing a ta-da list with a 474 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,869 Speaker 1: to-do list is really great because you're not just looking 475 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,449 Speaker 1: at what hasn't been done. You're acknowledging the good that 476 00:24:18,510 --> 00:24:20,730 Speaker 1: God has done in and through your life in that 477 00:24:20,810 --> 00:24:21,290 Speaker 1: single day. 478 00:24:21,450 --> 00:24:24,310 Speaker 2: That makes me almost teary because I am very much 479 00:24:24,350 --> 00:24:29,030 Speaker 2: a to-do list person. And sometimes I am disappointed in 480 00:24:29,369 --> 00:24:32,170 Speaker 2: like what I didn't do rather than focusing on what 481 00:24:32,270 --> 00:24:34,630 Speaker 2: I did. And so I'm going to take that. Thank 482 00:24:34,670 --> 00:24:39,760 Speaker 2: you for that. That one especially resonated with me today. 483 00:24:40,180 --> 00:24:42,940 Speaker 2: So Leslie, this season we've been asking all of the guests, 484 00:24:43,060 --> 00:24:45,660 Speaker 2: is there a biblical concept of love that you think 485 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:47,140 Speaker 2: applies to this topic today? 486 00:24:48,590 --> 00:24:52,929 Speaker 1: So when we are practicing emotional endurance, when we are 487 00:24:53,090 --> 00:24:57,510 Speaker 1: modeling the sense of not letting the setbacks in life 488 00:24:58,260 --> 00:25:01,020 Speaker 1: drag us down, but they set us up for something else, 489 00:25:01,420 --> 00:25:04,560 Speaker 1: we're actually reflecting God's love through that. And what I 490 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:08,060 Speaker 1: mean by that is when you look around society and 491 00:25:08,100 --> 00:25:10,850 Speaker 1: you see a lot of bad news on the internet 492 00:25:10,869 --> 00:25:13,790 Speaker 1: and on the television and in life, You don't hear 493 00:25:13,869 --> 00:25:17,290 Speaker 1: stories often of people who have something bad happen and 494 00:25:17,310 --> 00:25:21,430 Speaker 1: then reframe it and use it for something that glorifies 495 00:25:21,470 --> 00:25:23,720 Speaker 1: God or glorifies their community. And that's love in action. 496 00:25:24,220 --> 00:25:28,359 Speaker 1: And so by actually practicing these skills and practicing it 497 00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:31,830 Speaker 1: and developing and cultivating your capacity for emotional endurance, you 498 00:25:31,869 --> 00:25:32,870 Speaker 1: can love deeper and better. 499 00:25:34,010 --> 00:25:36,090 Speaker 2: I'm just thinking you and I are both mothers and 500 00:25:36,210 --> 00:25:38,890 Speaker 2: wives and just in general, it's one thing to have 501 00:25:38,930 --> 00:25:42,840 Speaker 2: emotional endurance experience. for ourselves, but how has this concept 502 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:45,280 Speaker 2: shaped the way you're a wife and a mother and 503 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:47,659 Speaker 2: a sister and a friend within your relationships? How has 504 00:25:47,700 --> 00:25:48,380 Speaker 2: that changed you? 505 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,679 Speaker 1: I think it's changed me from the inside out. My 506 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:54,540 Speaker 1: husband is one of the biggest champions of not staying 507 00:25:54,580 --> 00:25:58,420 Speaker 1: stuck and making sure you're overcoming and not letting things 508 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:00,929 Speaker 1: define you because God defines you. And he sets the 509 00:26:00,970 --> 00:26:03,550 Speaker 1: tone for a house for that. And he always has, 510 00:26:03,650 --> 00:26:07,190 Speaker 1: like known him for over three decades. And he sets 511 00:26:07,250 --> 00:26:09,460 Speaker 1: the tone for our children as well. And one of 512 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,070 Speaker 1: the things we have on our wall is our family motto, 513 00:26:12,270 --> 00:26:16,230 Speaker 1: and it's be a blessing. And we have our family motto, 514 00:26:16,270 --> 00:26:19,209 Speaker 1: and we have our core values. And one of the 515 00:26:19,270 --> 00:26:22,250 Speaker 1: skills that I often teach, our kids are 11, 9, 516 00:26:22,250 --> 00:26:27,250 Speaker 1: and 5. But from utero almost, we're big on we 517 00:26:27,270 --> 00:26:29,859 Speaker 1: have grit, we don't quit, right? And it sounds corny 518 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:34,000 Speaker 1: because it rhymes, but it's this sense of when something's hard, 519 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:38,080 Speaker 1: it's actually good because it's teaching us something. Hard isn't bad. 520 00:26:38,460 --> 00:26:41,280 Speaker 1: part is an invitation to lean into learning. And a 521 00:26:41,900 --> 00:26:44,389 Speaker 1: lot of people don't look at that invitation as a 522 00:26:44,420 --> 00:26:45,899 Speaker 1: fun one to go to. They're like, I don't want 523 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,409 Speaker 1: to go to that party. But we don't get to 524 00:26:48,450 --> 00:26:51,730 Speaker 1: choose sometimes which parties we're invited to. We choose our 525 00:26:51,790 --> 00:26:55,169 Speaker 1: response to that. And the whole concept of emotional endurance 526 00:26:55,750 --> 00:26:59,710 Speaker 1: really hinges on what are you choosing to do now 527 00:26:59,750 --> 00:27:02,290 Speaker 1: that you have this information. And I would say that's 528 00:27:02,350 --> 00:27:05,490 Speaker 1: a parallel to everything in the Bible. Once you know 529 00:27:06,030 --> 00:27:09,669 Speaker 1: the truth and the foundational knowledge principles that God teaches, 530 00:27:10,090 --> 00:27:11,530 Speaker 1: what are you choosing to do with that? 531 00:27:11,650 --> 00:27:14,150 Speaker 2: You are such a good teacher. I'm already thinking, I'm like, 532 00:27:14,190 --> 00:27:17,050 Speaker 2: I need my notes. I'm going to be a blessing. 533 00:27:17,070 --> 00:27:19,710 Speaker 2: I'm going to have grit and don't quit. I'm going 534 00:27:19,730 --> 00:27:22,649 Speaker 2: to make my to-do list with my jazz hands if 535 00:27:22,690 --> 00:27:24,860 Speaker 2: everybody could just see us right now. It's so good 536 00:27:24,890 --> 00:27:29,180 Speaker 2: and so memorable and encouraging, equipping and encouraging. And what's 537 00:27:29,220 --> 00:27:32,620 Speaker 2: interesting is before we pray or before we hit record, 538 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,830 Speaker 2: that was my prayer. Lord, help this episode to be 539 00:27:35,930 --> 00:27:38,490 Speaker 2: encouraging and equip those that are going to tune in. 540 00:27:38,590 --> 00:27:40,430 Speaker 2: And it has done that for me. And I pray 541 00:27:40,470 --> 00:27:43,590 Speaker 2: the same for everybody that is tuning in. But so 542 00:27:43,730 --> 00:27:45,370 Speaker 2: I know I want to stay connected with you. I'm 543 00:27:45,410 --> 00:27:47,639 Speaker 2: sure listeners are going to want to. So tell us 544 00:27:47,670 --> 00:27:48,429 Speaker 2: how we can best do that. 545 00:27:49,460 --> 00:27:53,120 Speaker 1: Absolutely. So I am all over social media. So Lead 546 00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:57,280 Speaker 1: With Intention is my business name. So leadwithintention.com for coaching. 547 00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:00,159 Speaker 1: I'm also on Instagram and Facebook at that handle. If 548 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:03,720 Speaker 1: you want to kind of Follow along on the Substack 549 00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:07,420 Speaker 1: app or the website. It's Leslie M. Bosserman, but my 550 00:28:07,820 --> 00:28:10,320 Speaker 1: Substack is Lead with Intention as well. And just Google 551 00:28:10,340 --> 00:28:12,430 Speaker 1: my name, you'll find me. And what's fun about that 552 00:28:12,470 --> 00:28:15,010 Speaker 1: is I send out once a month, typically the first 553 00:28:15,070 --> 00:28:18,210 Speaker 1: of the month if I'm on time, a values-based, I 554 00:28:18,230 --> 00:28:21,210 Speaker 1: call it an intention-based, but values and intentions are very 555 00:28:21,290 --> 00:28:24,859 Speaker 1: closely aligned, guide for how to actually take one core 556 00:28:24,900 --> 00:28:27,830 Speaker 1: principle and live it out that month. And so it's 557 00:28:27,890 --> 00:28:31,310 Speaker 1: written more for the mainstream. I do infuse biblical truth 558 00:28:31,369 --> 00:28:34,930 Speaker 1: in it, but my subscribership is pretty mainstream too. So 559 00:28:34,950 --> 00:28:36,570 Speaker 1: that's a nice way to kind of, if you have 560 00:28:36,590 --> 00:28:39,580 Speaker 1: a friend who maybe is struggling in their faith or 561 00:28:39,650 --> 00:28:44,680 Speaker 1: is faith adjacent, it won't necessarily be off-putting. So that's 562 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:46,880 Speaker 1: one invitation. And then if you want to learn more 563 00:28:46,900 --> 00:28:50,460 Speaker 1: about my book, you can go to emotionalendurancebook.com. 564 00:28:51,660 --> 00:28:55,930 Speaker 2: I do love how you've combined biblical truth, with science, 565 00:28:56,090 --> 00:28:58,450 Speaker 2: and just the combination of all of it. We can 566 00:28:58,470 --> 00:29:01,210 Speaker 2: learn so much from. And it's beautiful how it does 567 00:29:01,510 --> 00:29:04,870 Speaker 2: all unite perfectly, isn't it? One leads to the other. 568 00:29:04,990 --> 00:29:07,610 Speaker 1: It's almost like God designed science. I don't know. Right. 569 00:29:07,810 --> 00:29:08,210 Speaker 1: I know. 570 00:29:08,310 --> 00:29:10,950 Speaker 2: Something like that. Well, would you do us the honor 571 00:29:11,030 --> 00:29:12,330 Speaker 2: of praying for us as we close? 572 00:29:12,970 --> 00:29:17,200 Speaker 1: Absolutely. Dear Great and Heavenly Father, thank you so much 573 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:21,440 Speaker 1: for just blessing this conversation, for infusing it with encouragement 574 00:29:21,540 --> 00:29:25,220 Speaker 1: and hope and Everything that you are and you want 575 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:27,620 Speaker 1: us to be, God, you have designed us to be 576 00:29:28,300 --> 00:29:32,830 Speaker 1: people for you to persevere with emotional endurance, to seek 577 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,490 Speaker 1: you with a whole heart. So, God, if there's anyone 578 00:29:35,530 --> 00:29:37,890 Speaker 1: out there who's struggling, who's stuck, who's been part of 579 00:29:37,930 --> 00:29:41,270 Speaker 1: this dialogue and just need more hope, God, my prayer 580 00:29:41,310 --> 00:29:45,390 Speaker 1: is just to infuse them with your spirit. Reach into 581 00:29:45,430 --> 00:29:48,920 Speaker 1: their lives. Give them your hope, your eternal hope for 582 00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:52,720 Speaker 1: glory in your coming kingdom and just heal their hearts. 583 00:29:52,980 --> 00:29:56,660 Speaker 1: Help them to move forward with faith and patience and 584 00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,000 Speaker 1: all these good things so your work be done in 585 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:02,030 Speaker 1: their lives. God establish their hearts. Be with us as 586 00:30:02,070 --> 00:30:04,550 Speaker 1: we move through our days. Keep us safe, healthy, and strong. 587 00:30:05,290 --> 00:30:07,230 Speaker 1: We ask all these things in your son's holy and 588 00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:08,720 Speaker 1: righteous name. Amen. 589 00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,600 Speaker 2: Amen. Leslie, thank you for your time, for joining us, 590 00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:15,900 Speaker 2: and for helping us to emotionally endure. 591 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:18,120 Speaker 1: You're so welcome. Thank you again. 592 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:21,830 Speaker 2: And thank you so much for listening to the Love 593 00:30:21,870 --> 00:30:24,790 Speaker 2: Offering Podcast. I hope today's conversation reminded you that real 594 00:30:24,830 --> 00:30:28,230 Speaker 2: strength is not about avoiding hard things, Denying your emotions 595 00:30:28,290 --> 00:30:31,620 Speaker 2: or holding everything together on your own. Emotional endurance is 596 00:30:31,650 --> 00:30:34,440 Speaker 2: built as you face what hurts, receive the support you need, 597 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:38,640 Speaker 2: make room for restoration, and continue taking faithful steps forward. 598 00:30:38,660 --> 00:30:41,520 Speaker 2: A setback does not have to become the end of 599 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:44,860 Speaker 2: your story. With God's help, you can grow stronger, wiser, 600 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:48,480 Speaker 2: and more grounded through what you have endured. You may 601 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:52,680 Speaker 2: not bounce back overnight, but you can keep going with courage, clarity, purpose, 602 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,800 Speaker 2: and hope. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it 603 00:30:55,820 --> 00:30:57,520 Speaker 2: with a friend and leave a review. It helps others 604 00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:00,200 Speaker 2: find the show and spreads the message of love even further. 605 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,940 Speaker 2: To connect with me, visit me on my website at rachelkadams.com, 606 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,480 Speaker 2: where you can download the Love Always devotional, a free 607 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:09,780 Speaker 2: resource to help you realize how beloved you already are. 608 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:13,860 Speaker 2: Be sure to check out Emotional Endurance by Leslie Bosserman. 609 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,940 Speaker 2: It will be a wonderful resource and a blessing to you. 610 00:31:17,570 --> 00:31:19,930 Speaker 2: A special thank you to Life Audio for supporting this 611 00:31:19,970 --> 00:31:22,760 Speaker 2: podcast and making it possible. To find more great podcasts, 612 00:31:22,780 --> 00:31:27,110 Speaker 2: visit lifeaudio.com. Until next time, let's make our lives an 613 00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:28,370 Speaker 2: offering of love.