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Speaker 1: Life audio What if you could go back ten years?

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Speaker 1: Have you ever wished that you could go back ten

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Speaker 1: years and whisper something life changing to your younger self?

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Speaker 1: In this week's episode of Your Hope Filled Perspective podcast,

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Speaker 1: in recognition of my birthday, this week, we are diving

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Speaker 1: into ten powerful truths that I wish I had known

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Speaker 1: long ago, Biblical insights, neuroscience backed wisdom and lessons God

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Speaker 1: has taught me through some of the hardest seasons of

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Speaker 1: my life. If you have ever wrestled with self doubt,

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Speaker 1: carried the weight of other people's expectations, feared what others think,

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Speaker 1: or wondered whether God was really working behind the scenes,

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Speaker 1: this episode will speak straight to your heart. We are

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Speaker 1: going to talk about rest, resilience, purpose, identity, joy, boundaries,

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Speaker 1: emotional freedom, and how God faithfully redeems every part of

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Speaker 1: our story. If you want encouragement, clarity, or a fresh

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Speaker 1: start anchored in scripture and science, you're in the right place.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Your Hope Filled Perspective, where it's always

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Speaker 1: our goal to restore hope, renew minds, and empower listeners

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Speaker 1: to live in your God given identity. I hope to

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Speaker 1: equip you with the encouragement and biblical truth that you

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Speaker 1: need to walk in hope. I'm your host, doctor Michelle Bankson, Author,

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Speaker 1: speaker board, certified clinical neuropsychologist, and someone still learning to

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Speaker 1: walk this journey one day at a time. Today we

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Speaker 1: are going to talk about ten things I wish I

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Speaker 1: knew ten years ago. We will dive right into that

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Speaker 1: right after this brief word from our sponsor. Wisdom, peace

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Speaker 1: and an emotional freedom you've been craving are closer than

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Speaker 1: you think. In this episode of your Hope Filled Perspective,

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Speaker 1: I'm sharing ten life changing lessons I wish I had

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Speaker 1: known ten years ago, Truths grounded in scripture and supported

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Speaker 1: by neuroscience that can transform your mental health, relationships, and

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Speaker 1: spiritual resilience. We will explore the lives that steal our peace,

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Speaker 1: the fears that hold us back, the pressure to please people,

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Speaker 1: the exhaustion that comes from overfunctioning, and the joy that's

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Speaker 1: available long before our circumstances ever change. Whether you're seeking hope, healing, clarity,

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Speaker 1: or a renewed sense of purpose, you will find practical,

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Speaker 1: faith filled insights that invite you into deeper rest and

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Speaker 1: greater freedom. If you need a reminder that God is working,

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Speaker 1: that you're not alone, and that your story still holds

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Speaker 1: beauty and purpose. You will not want to miss this

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Speaker 1: episode because this week is my birthday week. I've been reflecting,

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Speaker 1: looking back over my shoulder at where God has brought me,

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Speaker 1: and looking ahead with renewed hope. Birthdays have a way

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Speaker 1: of inviting reflection, don't they. So today I want to

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Speaker 1: share something personal with you. Ten things I wish I

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Speaker 1: had known ten years ago. These are truths shaped by scripture,

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Speaker 1: refined in the furnace of hardship, confirmed by neuroscience, and

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Speaker 1: held tenderly by grace. My prayer, truly is that one

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Speaker 1: of these truths will meet you exactly where you are today.

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Speaker 1: So let's begin. Ten things I wish I had known

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Speaker 1: ten years ago. Number one, I wish I had known

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Speaker 1: God was not disappointed in me. Ten years ago, I

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Speaker 1: live like God was grading me, observing every single misstep.

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Speaker 1: I knew better theologically, but emotionally, I still tried to

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Speaker 1: earn his delight. But here's what I've learned. God does

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Speaker 1: not love reluctantly. He delights in his children. Think of

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Speaker 1: zeph Andiah three seventeen. But furthermore, neuroscience shows that chronic

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Speaker 1: self criticism activates the same neural circuits as physical pain.

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Speaker 1: But grace, on the other hand, calms the fear centers

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Speaker 1: of the brain. If I could tell my younger self anything,

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Speaker 1: it would be this breath. God is not disappointed in you.

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Speaker 1: The second thing I wish I knew ten years ago, well,

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Speaker 1: I wish I had known rest wasn't something to earn.

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Speaker 1: Rest felt indulgent ten years ago running a very busy

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Speaker 1: private practice, raising two young boys, wife to my husband

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Speaker 1: of twenty something years, and constantly on the go. Rest

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Speaker 1: felt indulgent ten years ago, optional, like a reward after

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Speaker 1: productivity once the work ended. The problem was the work

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Speaker 1: never ended. It's a little bit like when you do laundry.

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Speaker 1: You can't even really relish in the fact that the

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Speaker 1: laundry is done, because ten minutes later there's invariably a

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Speaker 1: towel or socks in the laundry, and for me, it

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Speaker 1: felt like the work was never done. But neurologically, rest

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Speaker 1: is where healing happens. Emotionally, rest is where perspective forms,

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Speaker 1: and spiritually, rest is where trust grows. You see, I've

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Speaker 1: learned rest is not a reward for finishing the work.

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Speaker 1: It's part of the process of work. Rest is not

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Speaker 1: a luxury. Rest is obedience. I wish I had known

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Speaker 1: earlier that rest is not weakness, It's actually a form

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Speaker 1: of worship. Number three, I wish I had known hardship

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Speaker 1: would become holy ground. When I think back over the

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Speaker 1: last decade, the pain, the losses, the unmet expectations, the

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Speaker 1: unfortunate circumstances that were beyond my control. I would probably

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Speaker 1: never have chosen some of those paths. But neuroscience tells

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Speaker 1: us adversity, when processed with truth and support, creates stronger

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Speaker 1: neural pathways of resilience. Scripture tells us that God work

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Speaker 1: all things together for good. It might not always be

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Speaker 1: the good that we are hoping for or expecting to see,

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Speaker 1: but His ways are not our ways. His ways are

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Speaker 1: higher than ours, and he knows best. If only I

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Speaker 1: had known that hardship is never wasted, it might have

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Speaker 1: spared me some fear, some panic, some sleepless nights, and

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Speaker 1: instead renewed my peace, fostered perseverance, and encouraged my faith

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Speaker 1: and in expectation of what God would do. This was

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Speaker 1: one of the most hard fought lessons. But it's the

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Speaker 1: one that I write about in my book Sacred Scars,

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Speaker 1: resting in the promise that your past is not wasted. Friend,

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Speaker 1: if you're in that spot, let me just encourage you

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Speaker 1: to pick up a copy of Sacred Scars, because it

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Speaker 1: really is my testimony of how I I've learned God

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Speaker 1: doesn't waste anything. Now. The fourth lesson I wish I

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Speaker 1: had known ten years ago was I wish I had

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Speaker 1: known I didn't have to prove myself to anyone. Ten

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Speaker 1: years ago, I expended far too much energy trying to

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Speaker 1: be understood, appreciated, valued, found worthy, and declared to be enough.

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Speaker 1: But approval of others is fleeting. It can shift with mood,

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Speaker 1: season or misunderstanding. I've learned trying to live for the

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Speaker 1: approval of people rewires the brain to depend on external validation,

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Speaker 1: But living from God's approval rewires us for peace. If

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Speaker 1: I could whisper to that younger woman, I would tell

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Speaker 1: her you are already approved. Number five I wish I

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Speaker 1: had known joy wasn't something I had to wait for.

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Speaker 1: Back then, I was so busy, so preoccupied, so steadfast

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Speaker 1: in trying to prove myself to others, and God that

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Speaker 1: joy felt like a future destination, something I would reach

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Speaker 1: once life settled down. Can I just let you in

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Speaker 1: on a secret. In the past ten years, life hasn't

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Speaker 1: settled down. It's just changed. But I have learned that

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Speaker 1: joy is not circumstantial. Joy is relational. Joy is the

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Speaker 1: awareness of God's presence with us. And here's fun fact.

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Speaker 1: Neuroscience affirms that joy is tied to relational delight, not perfection.

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Speaker 1: I wish I had embraced joy in the middle of

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Speaker 1: imperfect seasons instead of waiting for the right pace, moment,

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Speaker 1: or waiting to reach that destination that would bring joy. Friends,

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Speaker 1: We're gonna take a real short break for a brief

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Speaker 1: word firm message from our sponsor, and when we return,

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Speaker 1: we will look at the last five things I wish

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Speaker 1: that I had known ten years ago. We'll be right back.

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Speaker 1: Before the break, we talked about the first five things

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Speaker 1: I wish I had known ten years ago. Number one,

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Speaker 1: I wish I had known God was not disappointed in me.

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Speaker 1: Number two, I wish I had known rest wasn't something

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Speaker 1: to earn. Number three I wish I had known hardship

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Speaker 1: would become holy ground. Number four I wish I had

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Speaker 1: known I didn't need to prove myself to anyone. And

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Speaker 1: Number five I wish I had known joy wasn't something

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Speaker 1: I had to wait for. Now, I want to turn

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Speaker 1: our attention to the last five things I wish I

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Speaker 1: had known. Number six, I wish I had known people

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Speaker 1: aren't thinking about as nearly as much as we fear

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Speaker 1: they are. All the energy I spent worrying about others' opinions,

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Speaker 1: what they might think, what they might misunderstand, what they

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Speaker 1: might assume, and wrapped up in that was my attempt

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Speaker 1: to please people. But here's the truth, confirmed by psychology

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Speaker 1: and by experience. People are far more occupied with their

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Speaker 1: own lives, worries, and insecurities than they are with ours.

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Speaker 1: Our brain are wired with a spotlight effect. It's a

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Speaker 1: tendency to believe others are watching or judging us far

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Speaker 1: more often than they actually are. I wish I had

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Speaker 1: known sooner they're not thinking about you nearly as much

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Speaker 1: as you think they are. It would have freed up

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Speaker 1: so much mental real estate and given me the freedom

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Speaker 1: to be me. Number seven I wish I had known

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Speaker 1: saying no was sometimes the most loving thing I could do.

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Speaker 1: Ten years ago, my yes came far too easily, often

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Speaker 1: at the expense of rest, peace, and even obedience to God.

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Speaker 1: Saying no felt like I would be disappointing others, failing

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Speaker 1: to serve, or shrinking back. But here's what I know now.

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Speaker 1: Every yes is also a no to something else, And

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Speaker 1: sometimes the greatest act of love, both for yourself and

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Speaker 1: the people counting on you, is to honor your limits.

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Speaker 1: Boundaries don't really push people away. Boundaries make healthy connection possible.

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Speaker 1: Wish I had known that earlier. Number eight. I wish

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Speaker 1: I had known I didn't have to carry everything alone.

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Speaker 1: In the last decade, I walked through seasons that felt

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Speaker 1: heavier than I knew how to bear.

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Speaker 2: Back.

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Speaker 1: Then I believed I had to be strong. I believed

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Speaker 1: I should handle everything myself. I believe that vulnerability was

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Speaker 1: something to hide. But isolation amplifies emotional and sometimes physical pain.

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Speaker 1: Neuroscience shows that the connection reduces stress hormones, stabilizes mood,

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Speaker 1: and helps us process adversity and scripture. It tells us

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Speaker 1: to bear one another's burdens. If I could revisit my

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Speaker 1: younger self, I'd tell her, you don't have to be

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Speaker 1: the strong one all the time. Let others in let

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Speaker 1: them participate in the blessed of helping to carry your burdens.

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Speaker 1: Number nine, I wish I had known God was working

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Speaker 1: even when I couldn't see it. Ten years ago, there

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Speaker 1: were prayers that I thought God had forgotten, dreams I

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Speaker 1: had buried, and doors that remained shut, seasons when progress

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Speaker 1: felt invisible. But now I can look back with clarity

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Speaker 1: and say God was working all along, sometimes silently, sometimes slowly,

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Speaker 1: but always faithfully. And neuroscience teaches us the change often

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Speaker 1: happens beneath the surface, long before it becomes visible, much

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Speaker 1: like how faith develops. I wish I had trusted the

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Speaker 1: unseen work of God sooner. And Number ten, I wish

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Speaker 1: I had known just how much gratitude would change my life.

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Speaker 1: Gratitude always felt like a nice idea ten years ago,

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Speaker 1: something good that Christians do that were commanded to do.

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Speaker 1: But it didn't back then understand its power. But I've

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Speaker 1: learned that. Neuroscience tells us that gratitude strengthens the prefrontal

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Speaker 1: cortex of our brain. It calms the amigdalo, which is

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Speaker 1: responsible for our emotional reactiveness in that bite, flight, or freeze.

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Speaker 1: It increases the neurotransmitter's dopamine and serotonin, and I love

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Speaker 1: this one. It rewires the brain toward hope. Spiritually, gratitude

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Speaker 1: aligns our hearts with the truth of who God is

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Speaker 1: and what He has already done. I wish I had

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Speaker 1: known that gratitude wasn't a reaction just to blessings, it

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Speaker 1: was actually a pathway to experiencing them, because what I

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Speaker 1: have found is that the more we practice attitude, the

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Speaker 1: more God actually opens our eyes to more things that

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Speaker 1: are already around us for which we can be grateful.

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Speaker 1: What I know now and what I desire for you

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Speaker 1: to know too, looking back over the past decade, Here's

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Speaker 1: what I know now. God is not disappointed in you.

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Speaker 1: Rest is required, not earned. Hardship becomes holy ground. You

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Speaker 1: don't need to prove yourself to others. Joy is available today.

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Speaker 1: It's not a destination. People think about you far less

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Speaker 1: than you fear they do. No is sometimes the most

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Speaker 1: loving answer we can offer. You don't have to carry

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Speaker 1: this life alone. God is working even when you can't

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Speaker 1: see it, and gratitude transforms everything and overarching all of it.

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Speaker 1: You are loved, you are seen, you are held, and

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Speaker 1: God is far more faithful than you have yet discovered. Friends,

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Speaker 1: I want to encourage you to do something today. Take

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Speaker 1: five minutes ask yourself, what do I wish I had

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Speaker 1: known ten years ago? Write it down, pray over it,

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Speaker 1: and maybe consider sharing it with someone who needs the

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Speaker 1: wisdom you've earned. Let me pray for you, Father. Thank

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Speaker 1: you for being so faithful in every season. Thank you

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Speaker 1: that you waste nothing for the listener who feels tired, discouraged,

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Speaker 1: or unsure. Would you remind them that they are deeply loved,

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Speaker 1: fully accepted, and never alone. Help us to embrace the

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Speaker 1: truths we've learned and give us the courage to walk

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Speaker 1: into the next season with hope, confidence and your peace.

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Speaker 1: Because of and in the Holy name of Jesus, I

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Speaker 1: pray amen. Friends, thank you for joining me on this

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Speaker 1: birthday episode of your Hope Filled Perspective. If this episode

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Speaker 1: encouraged you, would you share it with someone who may

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Speaker 1: need hope today? And if I could be so bold

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Speaker 1: as a birthday gift to me, would you consider subscribing

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Speaker 1: to your Hope Build Perspective podcast and my follow up

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Speaker 1: blog post so that you never miss the hope filled

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Speaker 1: encouragement that I work so hard to deliver to you

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Speaker 1: each week until next time, friend, may you find rest

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Speaker 1: for your soul, joy in His presence, and confidence in

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Speaker 1: God who goes before you. I'll look forward to being

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Speaker 1: with you again next week, and until then, it's my

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Speaker 1: prayer for you that you have a hope filled week.

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Speaker 2: Your ragged and torn past may be the key to

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Speaker 2: God's future for you. We all endure trials, pain, and

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Speaker 2: hardship in this life. Too often we believe these experiences

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Speaker 2: disqualify us from being useful to God. But the truth

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Speaker 2: is your past pain and brokenness serve as preparation for

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Speaker 2: what God wants to do in and through you, if

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Speaker 2: you will surrender to contrust Him in sacred scars. Neuropsychologist

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Speaker 2: and fellow sufferer, doctor Michelle Thankson helps you understand the

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Speaker 2: suffering from a biblical perspective, discover how the trials of

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Speaker 2: your life serve a purpose, reflect on the healing that

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Speaker 2: God has accomplished, and comfort others, but the comfort God

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Speaker 2: has given you, just as Jesus's scars didn't disappear after

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Speaker 2: his resurrection and confirmed that he was who he said

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Speaker 2: he was and that he did what he said he'd do,

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Speaker 2: are emotional for physical scars tell our story and lend

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Speaker 2: credence to our testimony of God's love and power. If

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Speaker 2: you are ready to turn your past pain into present

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Speaker 2: comfort and future hope, let doctor Benkson be your compassionate guide.

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Speaker 2: Jill Savage, host of the No More Perfect podcast and

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Speaker 2: author of No More Perfect Marriages, have this to say

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Speaker 2: about Sacred Scars. While we wish for a pain free life,

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Speaker 2: the dark seasons are where God invites us into the

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Speaker 2: most growth. In the pages of this book, you will

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Speaker 2: come to understand how God uses pain in powerful ways.

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Speaker 2: If you're human, you need this book. Pick up a

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Speaker 2: copy of Sacred Scars wherever books are sold, and watch

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Speaker 2: God turn your pain into purpose.

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Speaker 3: Thank you for joining doctor bankson to your hope build perspective.

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Speaker 3: We hope you are encouraged by her authenticity, vulnerability, and

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Speaker 3: biblical truths. If you enjoy today's conversation. When you take

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Speaker 3: a moment right now, open up your podcast app and

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Speaker 3: look for the subscribe button right next to our podcast

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Speaker 3: profile image. We think this podcast is best enjoyed with friends,

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Speaker 3: so tell a friend and click share in your podcast

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Speaker 3: app and send a friend or link to share hope

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Speaker 3: with them. If you have a comment, question, or suggest

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Speaker 3: a topic for a future show. Reach out to our

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Speaker 3: staff at info at Hope Prevails dot org For additional resources.

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Speaker 3: Information about doctor Bankson's books where free downloads, or to

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Speaker 3: contact her to speak at your next event, please visit

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Speaker 3: doctor Michelbe dot com. Until next time, May you have

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Speaker 3: a hope filled week.

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Speaker 1: I'd like to take just a second to thank the

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Speaker 1: team at Life Audio for their partnership with us on

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Speaker 1: this podcast. If you go to lifeaudio dot com, you'll

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Speaker 1: find dozens of other faith centered podcasts in their network.

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Speaker 1: They've got shows about prayer, Bible study, parenting, and more.