1 00:00:02,630 --> 00:00:05,550 Speaker 1: Life Audio. Hey, friend. Heather Creekmore here. Thanks for listening 2 00:00:05,590 --> 00:00:10,170 Speaker 1: to the Compared To Podcast today. Okay. You've seen the memes. 3 00:00:10,230 --> 00:00:14,750 Speaker 1: You've watched the reels. There's the guy who wakes up 4 00:00:14,810 --> 00:00:17,790 Speaker 1: at 3.47 a.m. before the sun to get a head 5 00:00:17,829 --> 00:00:20,210 Speaker 1: start on the competition, and he drinks a gallon of water, 6 00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:22,770 Speaker 1: and he takes an ice bath, and he posts about 7 00:00:22,810 --> 00:00:24,870 Speaker 1: it before anyone else is awake to see it. Then 8 00:00:24,890 --> 00:00:29,390 Speaker 1: there's the biohackers that have their red light therapy and 9 00:00:29,510 --> 00:00:33,270 Speaker 1: mouth tape removal and 14 supplements and a tablespoon of 10 00:00:33,930 --> 00:00:38,970 Speaker 1: raw butter in their coffee. I mean, there's so many 11 00:00:39,050 --> 00:00:44,979 Speaker 1: different ways that you can self-optimize or life optimize now, right? 12 00:00:45,020 --> 00:00:48,020 Speaker 1: Maybe you've heard you're in the main character era where 13 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:52,500 Speaker 1: you are supposed to be all about you getting it done, 14 00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 1: making life happen, making life great. And it Isn't all culture? 15 00:00:58,740 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 1: I mean, there's Christian influencers selling you the planner on 16 00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:05,539 Speaker 1: how to make your life better and how to work 17 00:01:05,660 --> 00:01:08,039 Speaker 1: out better and do it all for Jesus. I mean, 18 00:01:08,060 --> 00:01:09,920 Speaker 1: we just kind of add a Bible verse to it. Friends, 19 00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:15,319 Speaker 1: this language, this concept, this pressure, let's just call it that, 20 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:21,380 Speaker 1: is everywhere. And we're in a series called Over the Influence. 21 00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:25,550 Speaker 1: And today I want us to ask a question. Is 22 00:01:25,580 --> 00:01:30,569 Speaker 1: it actually possible to be focused on self-optimization and still 23 00:01:30,650 --> 00:01:34,610 Speaker 1: focused on Jesus? Can I grow in ways that look 24 00:01:34,770 --> 00:01:40,930 Speaker 1: great and still be fully centered on Christ? Or does 25 00:01:40,990 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 1: great looking growth tend to quietly drift me away from Jesus? 26 00:01:48,060 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 1: That's where we're going today. We've been talking about how 27 00:01:51,220 --> 00:01:54,470 Speaker 1: we're influenced by We talked about last time how to 28 00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:58,430 Speaker 1: be spirit-led. Today we're asking what that influence is actually 29 00:01:58,470 --> 00:02:01,010 Speaker 1: doing to us. I'm glad you're here for it. I 30 00:02:01,110 --> 00:02:02,830 Speaker 1: hope you are too. Hey, if you've not been to 31 00:02:02,870 --> 00:02:06,980 Speaker 1: our site yet, go visit improvebodyimage.com and you can find 32 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:10,660 Speaker 1: out all about the great resources we have from YouVersion, 33 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:16,580 Speaker 1: free Bible reading plans to books to programs and coaching. 34 00:02:16,740 --> 00:02:20,590 Speaker 1: I love working with women. We love encouraging women. to 35 00:02:20,669 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 1: find freedom in body image and food and marriage struggles, 36 00:02:25,180 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 1: you name it, we can be a support for you. 37 00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:32,500 Speaker 1: So learn everything we have available to you at improvebodyimage.com. 38 00:02:32,580 --> 00:02:41,990 Speaker 1: Now let's get to today's show. Okay, so we're in 39 00:02:42,010 --> 00:02:45,190 Speaker 1: this series called Over the Influence, and we've talked about 40 00:02:46,060 --> 00:02:49,260 Speaker 1: Let's just be real. We're all influenced. We talked about 41 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:53,209 Speaker 1: how we're influenced really from childhood, and now we're influenced 42 00:02:53,730 --> 00:02:59,110 Speaker 1: by our peers and social media. I mean, influences are everywhere. 43 00:02:59,130 --> 00:03:02,380 Speaker 1: And then last week, we talked about the difference between 44 00:03:02,980 --> 00:03:06,660 Speaker 1: being influenced, living a life under the influence, if you will, 45 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:10,559 Speaker 1: and being spirit-led. And we talked also about what that 46 00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:12,959 Speaker 1: even means to be spirit-led, how you can live a 47 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 1: spirit-led life. So if you missed either of those two episodes, 48 00:03:15,740 --> 00:03:18,639 Speaker 1: go back, check them out, the last two episodes, and 49 00:03:18,940 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 1: then you'll be ready for where we're going today. And 50 00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:26,300 Speaker 1: today we're talking about what are these messages that we 51 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 1: are absorbing? What are they subtly or even overtly doing 52 00:03:31,060 --> 00:03:36,330 Speaker 1: to us? There's a Christian twist that's so nuanced and 53 00:03:36,430 --> 00:03:39,300 Speaker 1: so confusing here. And this is something that kept me 54 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,670 Speaker 1: stuck for a long time because I really believed, I 55 00:03:42,930 --> 00:03:45,250 Speaker 1: don't know that I heard it taught anywhere. Maybe I did, 56 00:03:45,270 --> 00:03:49,900 Speaker 1: but I don't specifically remember hearing it taught anywhere. But 57 00:03:49,940 --> 00:03:53,640 Speaker 1: I felt like it was my responsibility as a Christian 58 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:57,130 Speaker 1: woman to make sure that I had a better body. 59 00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:00,370 Speaker 1: to make sure that I looked good for Jesus. Now, 60 00:04:00,390 --> 00:04:03,090 Speaker 1: it wasn't really looking good for Jesus. I knew that's 61 00:04:03,130 --> 00:04:06,220 Speaker 1: not actually what he expected of me, but I needed 62 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:09,060 Speaker 1: to look good for Jesus to be a good witness 63 00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:11,700 Speaker 1: and example of him. Like, how could I be a 64 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:17,180 Speaker 1: great testimony for Jesus if I didn't look great? And 65 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:22,800 Speaker 1: so if you've heard self-improvement messages with a little twist 66 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:27,950 Speaker 1: of Jesus, like, you're not alone. They're everywhere. We've been 67 00:04:28,029 --> 00:04:31,830 Speaker 1: told over and over again that we should be better 68 00:04:32,029 --> 00:04:35,110 Speaker 1: so that we can be a better Christian or a 69 00:04:35,170 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 1: better witness. It's like getting all of my ducks in 70 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,900 Speaker 1: a row, getting everything in order, making my life better 71 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:45,020 Speaker 1: will make me a better Christian. But my question for 72 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:49,219 Speaker 1: you today is this. Does all this focus on ourselves 73 00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:53,330 Speaker 1: actually lead us into the holy work of sanctification, which 74 00:04:53,850 --> 00:04:58,060 Speaker 1: I would argue is the Bible's self-improvement plan? Or does 75 00:04:58,180 --> 00:05:04,580 Speaker 1: it trap us somewhere else? The confusing thing, frankly, is 76 00:05:05,380 --> 00:05:09,460 Speaker 1: these aren't bad things. I mean, that's why it's so tricky. 77 00:05:10,170 --> 00:05:15,049 Speaker 1: If the messages were leading us to do clearly evil things, 78 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:21,830 Speaker 1: clearer things that are in opposition to God's word, then 79 00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:24,970 Speaker 1: we wouldn't even be tempted by it, most likely. It 80 00:05:25,010 --> 00:05:29,150 Speaker 1: would be super obvious. that these are bad things and 81 00:05:29,190 --> 00:05:31,130 Speaker 1: these will take us off track and they will lead 82 00:05:31,170 --> 00:05:34,830 Speaker 1: us away from Jesus. But here's the thing, they're good 83 00:05:35,050 --> 00:05:41,260 Speaker 1: things by and large. And culture tells us improving these 84 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:46,720 Speaker 1: things will have a great payoff, right? Culture says things 85 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:50,219 Speaker 1: like you're going to be happier. You'll have fulfillment and 86 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,180 Speaker 1: peace once you get your life in order and once 87 00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 1: you get your schedule in order and your money in order. 88 00:05:56,810 --> 00:05:59,390 Speaker 1: and just get the right routine and the right mindset. 89 00:05:59,950 --> 00:06:02,940 Speaker 1: And there is some truth there. It's not all a lie. 90 00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:06,010 Speaker 1: There's some truth there. Or maybe you've heard this one, 91 00:06:06,020 --> 00:06:10,720 Speaker 1: you owe it to yourself. Invest in yourself. You deserve 92 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,700 Speaker 1: your best life. And it's like, well, I don't know. 93 00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:17,960 Speaker 1: Do I deserve my best life? That kind of sounds reasonable. 94 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:21,229 Speaker 1: It sounds appealing. Invest in myself. Well, I mean, I 95 00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:24,890 Speaker 1: don't know. What else should I invest in? That kind 96 00:06:24,930 --> 00:06:27,679 Speaker 1: of makes sense to me. Or become your best self 97 00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:31,590 Speaker 1: or this one, oh goodness, inside of you, there's a 98 00:06:31,710 --> 00:06:34,990 Speaker 1: better version of you. You just haven't found it yet 99 00:06:35,029 --> 00:06:37,010 Speaker 1: or gotten it to come out. But if you could 100 00:06:37,029 --> 00:06:39,730 Speaker 1: just get this better you to come out, then you'd 101 00:06:39,750 --> 00:06:42,450 Speaker 1: be your best self and then life would be awesome. 102 00:06:42,810 --> 00:06:47,190 Speaker 1: The messages are about your success depending on you getting 103 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:51,410 Speaker 1: better and outworking everyone and leveling up and If you 104 00:06:51,430 --> 00:06:55,419 Speaker 1: could just be admired, then you'd have like the status 105 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:59,140 Speaker 1: and attention to make you feel happier and you'd be 106 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 1: in control. Oh, we love control. If we optimize enough, 107 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,490 Speaker 1: then we can manage our anxiety. We can avoid regret. 108 00:07:06,529 --> 00:07:10,010 Speaker 1: We can engineer outcomes in any area of life as 109 00:07:10,090 --> 00:07:13,540 Speaker 1: long as we stay in enough control. Or maybe you've 110 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:16,080 Speaker 1: heard this one, you'll attract the right people. If you 111 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:20,220 Speaker 1: become the kind of person that you want to be with, 112 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:24,460 Speaker 1: then you will attract that kind of person. I remember 113 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:28,590 Speaker 1: that one from my single days. There's so many of 114 00:07:28,690 --> 00:07:33,410 Speaker 1: these mantras going around where we can create for ourselves 115 00:07:33,470 --> 00:07:38,110 Speaker 1: a pretty compelling case of, That it is really important 116 00:07:38,430 --> 00:07:43,440 Speaker 1: that I work on being a better me. That should 117 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 1: be my goal. But notice almost every reason that I 118 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:53,780 Speaker 1: just rattled through for self-improvement has something in common, right? 119 00:07:53,840 --> 00:08:01,130 Speaker 1: It's my happiness, my worth, my successes. my image, my control, 120 00:08:01,590 --> 00:08:04,310 Speaker 1: or the Christian version just often adds like, so I 121 00:08:04,330 --> 00:08:06,930 Speaker 1: can be a better Christian. But in reality, we're kind 122 00:08:06,970 --> 00:08:09,290 Speaker 1: of chasing the same things the world is chasing. It's 123 00:08:09,350 --> 00:08:15,010 Speaker 1: self-improvement for the sake of self, for the sake of my, 124 00:08:15,710 --> 00:08:19,930 Speaker 1: fill in your favorite word here. And let's contrast that 125 00:08:20,010 --> 00:08:24,010 Speaker 1: with scripture's reasons for growth. Okay. So scripture instructs us 126 00:08:24,050 --> 00:08:27,280 Speaker 1: to grow through a process called sanctification. And we can 127 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,480 Speaker 1: talk about that more in just a minute. But the 128 00:08:29,540 --> 00:08:35,699 Speaker 1: reason for the growth is to become like Jesus. It's Christ-likeness. 129 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:40,719 Speaker 1: Check out Romans 8, 29. Or we're to grow to 130 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:44,380 Speaker 1: become more like Jesus. Why? Not for my own glory, 131 00:08:44,470 --> 00:08:48,370 Speaker 1: but for God's glory. Matthew 5, 16. I am to become... 132 00:08:51,140 --> 00:08:54,920 Speaker 1: more like Jesus, I'm to become more Christ-like so that 133 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:59,199 Speaker 1: I can love and serve others better from Ephesians 4, 134 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,620 Speaker 1: 11 to 16, and so that I can be useful 135 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:08,050 Speaker 1: to God, 2 Timothy 2.21. Culture's list points inward so 136 00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:11,410 Speaker 1: I can have a better me, but the Bible's list 137 00:09:11,490 --> 00:09:16,670 Speaker 1: points outward and ends with me doing what scripture calls 138 00:09:16,710 --> 00:09:20,470 Speaker 1: me to do, which is loving God and loving others well. 139 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,950 Speaker 1: You see, the Bible doesn't talk about self-improvement in the 140 00:09:24,970 --> 00:09:28,550 Speaker 1: same way culture does. But before we get to that, 141 00:09:29,530 --> 00:09:32,010 Speaker 1: if you're like, but yes, it does, Heather. I know 142 00:09:32,050 --> 00:09:35,690 Speaker 1: the verses. I've heard it. You're right. I have seen 143 00:09:36,270 --> 00:09:40,130 Speaker 1: Christians twist the message of scripture into a self-improvement message 144 00:09:40,650 --> 00:09:42,860 Speaker 1: over and over again. In fact, that's kind of why 145 00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:45,760 Speaker 1: I started doing this in the first place is because 146 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,559 Speaker 1: I saw a popular, and I really feel like I 147 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,600 Speaker 1: need the air quotes around the word Christian here, But 148 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:56,670 Speaker 1: I saw a popular air quote Christian teacher on church 149 00:09:56,950 --> 00:10:01,500 Speaker 1: stages telling women that they needed more. pride to feel 150 00:10:01,540 --> 00:10:05,260 Speaker 1: better about their bodies. And it drove me nuts because 151 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:10,250 Speaker 1: I thought that is not the answer to Christians who 152 00:10:10,290 --> 00:10:13,850 Speaker 1: struggle with body image issues. Having more pride is never 153 00:10:13,929 --> 00:10:15,850 Speaker 1: the way out. I write about this in my 40 154 00:10:15,850 --> 00:10:18,790 Speaker 1: day body image workbook if you're interested in learning more. 155 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:24,260 Speaker 1: But pride is sin. And there's no possible way that 156 00:10:25,140 --> 00:10:30,210 Speaker 1: getting better at sin is going to lead to freedom. 157 00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 1: We know that sin leads to death, is what scripture says. 158 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:38,120 Speaker 1: Not life, not joy, not peace, not rest. And so 159 00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:43,000 Speaker 1: one of these Christian reasons for self-improvement is really what 160 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:45,500 Speaker 1: led me to write my first book, Compared to Who, 161 00:10:45,620 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 1: and to do this podcast. So if you're saying, Heather, 162 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:51,120 Speaker 1: I've seen these out there, yes, I've seen them too. 163 00:10:51,460 --> 00:10:55,920 Speaker 1: But Jesus didn't come to make us better people. The 164 00:10:55,970 --> 00:11:01,989 Speaker 1: Bible talks about us being transformed, renewed, sanctified, conformed to 165 00:11:02,030 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 1: the image of Christ and It never frames ourselves or 166 00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:12,780 Speaker 1: our bodies as a project to polish or finish or improve. 167 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:17,420 Speaker 1: In fact, scripture talks about the old self being put away, 168 00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:21,400 Speaker 1: like put to death. And we're getting a brand new self. 169 00:11:21,970 --> 00:11:24,490 Speaker 1: It's not about making the old self spiffied up. And 170 00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:27,550 Speaker 1: that's in Ephesians 4, if you're interested. But I know 171 00:11:27,570 --> 00:11:31,070 Speaker 1: you've heard it. I know you've heard Versus like Paul says, 172 00:11:31,170 --> 00:11:34,910 Speaker 1: press toward the goal from Philippians 3, 12 to 14. 173 00:11:34,910 --> 00:11:38,089 Speaker 1: As like Paul says, we should have goals and look 174 00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:40,550 Speaker 1: at your goal and just press toward your weight loss 175 00:11:40,610 --> 00:11:44,470 Speaker 1: goal or press toward your time management or financial or 176 00:11:44,890 --> 00:11:48,230 Speaker 1: career goal. But friend, like that's not what Paul's talking 177 00:11:48,270 --> 00:11:51,530 Speaker 1: about in Philippians 3, 12 to 14. He's not talking 178 00:11:51,570 --> 00:11:56,330 Speaker 1: about self-improvement goals. He's talking about responding to the call 179 00:11:56,350 --> 00:12:00,550 Speaker 1: of Christ, not chasing an ideal. Look at the goal. 180 00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:06,130 Speaker 1: The goal is becoming like Jesus. We're already held by Jesus. 181 00:12:06,150 --> 00:12:09,630 Speaker 1: We're supposed to press into him. It's not about self-improvement. 182 00:12:09,650 --> 00:12:13,790 Speaker 1: There's another popular one. I've heard this one recently even. 183 00:12:13,790 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 1: 2 Peter 1, 5-8. And Peter says, he says these words, 184 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,380 Speaker 1: make every effort. And oh, maybe you've heard this as 185 00:12:20,420 --> 00:12:22,359 Speaker 1: like a whole teaching on you should make every effort. 186 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:25,000 Speaker 1: You should work hard. You've got to work hard at 187 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:27,280 Speaker 1: being the best you and doing all the things that 188 00:12:27,929 --> 00:12:30,730 Speaker 1: But really, if you read the rest of that little 189 00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:35,500 Speaker 1: passage there, Peter's telling us to add virtue to our faith. 190 00:12:35,540 --> 00:12:39,620 Speaker 1: He's talking about growing in spiritual maturity. But then what's 191 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 1: so interesting here is if you go back to verse 3, 192 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:48,380 Speaker 1: he adds additional context. It's actually not our effort. It's 193 00:12:48,420 --> 00:12:51,700 Speaker 1: that God's power has already granted what we need. And 194 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:55,260 Speaker 1: any effort we give is just a response to his grace. 195 00:12:55,809 --> 00:13:00,130 Speaker 1: It's not about trying really, really, really hard to be 196 00:13:00,290 --> 00:13:03,309 Speaker 1: a better person. In fact, I'd say like there's a 197 00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:07,510 Speaker 1: Christian version of self-focus too. Self-focus can just wear spiritual clothes. 198 00:13:07,570 --> 00:13:10,819 Speaker 1: Like God wants you to be happy and successful. Like 199 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:14,240 Speaker 1: having a better quiet time is a productivity hack because 200 00:13:14,580 --> 00:13:16,740 Speaker 1: if you have good quiet time, then the whole rest 201 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:20,829 Speaker 1: of your day is going to go smoother. Or boundaries, 202 00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:24,770 Speaker 1: oh goodness, like maybe no is my best yes. I 203 00:13:24,790 --> 00:13:30,109 Speaker 1: think that's the way it is, right? But boundaries used 204 00:13:30,350 --> 00:13:34,780 Speaker 1: as a license to avoid sacrifice. Like, well, I can't 205 00:13:34,820 --> 00:13:39,700 Speaker 1: do that because that will cost me something. And without 206 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:43,930 Speaker 1: the added element of being spirit led, right? Like that's 207 00:13:43,970 --> 00:13:50,630 Speaker 1: where we're going to default, of course, right? Christian books, 208 00:13:50,690 --> 00:13:53,150 Speaker 1: they can be self-help. Here's how to get skinny and 209 00:13:53,190 --> 00:13:55,940 Speaker 1: just throw a couple Bible verses in there. It's got 210 00:13:55,980 --> 00:14:00,839 Speaker 1: a Christian veneer. It seems legit. But in just a minute, 211 00:14:00,860 --> 00:14:03,840 Speaker 1: we're going to talk through how you can decide whether 212 00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:07,210 Speaker 1: or not the way you're being influenced is leading you 213 00:14:07,870 --> 00:14:13,650 Speaker 1: towards becoming more like Jesus, towards sanctification, or towards self-improvement. 214 00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:20,010 Speaker 1: Because remember... Matthew 16, 24 to 25 gives us this 215 00:14:20,090 --> 00:14:24,270 Speaker 1: paradox that if we really want to find life, we 216 00:14:24,450 --> 00:14:30,430 Speaker 1: lose it. And boundaries and exercise and weight loss, there's 217 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,350 Speaker 1: nothing wrong with any of those things, right? Jesus withdrew 218 00:14:33,370 --> 00:14:36,600 Speaker 1: to rest and pray. And 1 Timothy 4, 7, 8 219 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:40,420 Speaker 1: tells us bodily training is of some value. But we 220 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:44,000 Speaker 1: have to be careful not to take these verses out 221 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 1: of context. and make them a justification for being influenced 222 00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:56,430 Speaker 1: by the world instead of transformed by God's word. So 223 00:14:56,470 --> 00:14:57,970 Speaker 1: in just a minute, I'm going to give you a list. 224 00:14:58,090 --> 00:15:00,630 Speaker 1: And it's a filter of sorts for you to run 225 00:15:00,670 --> 00:15:06,040 Speaker 1: your goals and self-improvement projects through so you can just 226 00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:11,860 Speaker 1: be clear about what they are and who they're serving. Again, 227 00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:15,880 Speaker 1: I'm not saying they're all bad. But I just don't 228 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:21,080 Speaker 1: want us to miss the meat here. And the meat 229 00:15:21,180 --> 00:15:25,380 Speaker 1: here is that what Jesus does in our lives is 230 00:15:25,460 --> 00:15:31,410 Speaker 1: he transforms us. And friend, I was following Jesus or 231 00:15:31,470 --> 00:15:36,490 Speaker 1: thought I was following Jesus for, let's call it 30 232 00:15:36,490 --> 00:15:41,350 Speaker 1: years before this concept became really clear to me. And 233 00:15:41,430 --> 00:15:43,590 Speaker 1: once it did, I I felt like God kind of 234 00:15:43,630 --> 00:15:48,250 Speaker 1: gave me this illustration and that helped solidify it even more. 235 00:15:48,270 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 1: I wrote a blog post on it, oh, probably 12 236 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,820 Speaker 1: or 15 years ago, but I called it a coffee 237 00:15:54,840 --> 00:16:00,640 Speaker 1: mate Christian because that's who I was. I believed that 238 00:16:01,140 --> 00:16:06,290 Speaker 1: I was kind of the dark coffee, right? Like my depravity, 239 00:16:06,410 --> 00:16:10,140 Speaker 1: my humanness was the dark coffee. And what I needed 240 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:13,950 Speaker 1: to make the dark coffee better was Jesus, right? Of course, 241 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:18,730 Speaker 1: like that's what we believe. But I'm a bleh, dark, 242 00:16:18,990 --> 00:16:24,940 Speaker 1: unsweet person. And Jesus comes along as this sweet cream 243 00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:29,340 Speaker 1: or salted caramel thing. delicious liquid. I'm making some of 244 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:32,900 Speaker 1: you thirsty right now. I know. But you add the 245 00:16:32,990 --> 00:16:36,730 Speaker 1: Jesus cream to my black coffee and I become a 246 00:16:36,770 --> 00:16:40,970 Speaker 1: delicious new drink. I am a coffee that is sweeter 247 00:16:41,090 --> 00:16:46,230 Speaker 1: and tastier and better and now I'm delicious. It's bleh 248 00:16:46,370 --> 00:16:51,270 Speaker 1: me plus Jesus. As if Jesus was kind of a 249 00:16:51,330 --> 00:16:56,580 Speaker 1: self-improvement hack. Jesus made me better. That's probably what I 250 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,450 Speaker 1: would have told you. If you asked for my testimony, 251 00:16:58,490 --> 00:17:02,530 Speaker 1: Jesus made me better. I was okay, but then Jesus 252 00:17:02,650 --> 00:17:04,970 Speaker 1: made me great. And I lived my life in a 253 00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:09,270 Speaker 1: way that reflected that. It was compartmentalized. It was, I 254 00:17:09,310 --> 00:17:13,229 Speaker 1: have my regular life and then I have the Christian 255 00:17:13,270 --> 00:17:16,230 Speaker 1: things that I do. And that was kind of how 256 00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:21,100 Speaker 1: I lived. There wasn't really this wholeheartedness to my life 257 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:26,540 Speaker 1: and It wasn't that Jesus had taken the old and 258 00:17:26,580 --> 00:17:30,220 Speaker 1: put it to death and transformed me. It was just 259 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:33,740 Speaker 1: me with some Jesus sprinkled on top. But friend, that's 260 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:38,720 Speaker 1: not the gospel because like I said, the gospel completely 261 00:17:38,820 --> 00:17:44,200 Speaker 1: transforms us. The old man is dead. Like the dead 262 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:47,040 Speaker 1: man isn't like doing a whole lot, right? He's dead 263 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:50,290 Speaker 1: or she's dead. The old is dead and we become new. 264 00:17:51,890 --> 00:17:55,470 Speaker 1: Instead of adding Jesus like a bit of delicious creamer 265 00:17:55,530 --> 00:17:58,560 Speaker 1: or cold foam, what Jesus does is he takes our 266 00:17:58,580 --> 00:18:01,300 Speaker 1: dark coffee and he turns it into something that you 267 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:05,899 Speaker 1: can't even recognize, like orange juice or red wine or 268 00:18:05,940 --> 00:18:10,080 Speaker 1: something that coffee could just never become by adding an ingredient. 269 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:16,629 Speaker 1: He completely changes us. The old man, the sin flesh 270 00:18:16,730 --> 00:18:21,000 Speaker 1: nature changes. must die. That's the black coffee. Black coffee gone. 271 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:25,389 Speaker 1: So that the new self, our new creation, our new 272 00:18:25,450 --> 00:18:31,030 Speaker 1: creature in Christ is completely new. Not just a pretty 273 00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:35,170 Speaker 1: up version of the old us. And I think this 274 00:18:35,230 --> 00:18:38,940 Speaker 1: is especially hard for anyone who was raised in a 275 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:44,459 Speaker 1: Christian home, raised around church a lot. It feels like 276 00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:48,230 Speaker 1: it's easier to And I could be wrong on this, 277 00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:52,650 Speaker 1: but it feels like it's easier for those who maybe 278 00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:57,260 Speaker 1: have a really distinct line in their story where I 279 00:18:57,359 --> 00:19:01,900 Speaker 1: was like this before and I'm like this now since 280 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:06,600 Speaker 1: I've met Jesus. That was my husband's story. He met 281 00:19:06,619 --> 00:19:09,990 Speaker 1: Jesus in the Marine Corps. over in a tent in 282 00:19:10,030 --> 00:19:14,449 Speaker 1: the desert. And I remember after we got married, one 283 00:19:14,510 --> 00:19:17,730 Speaker 1: of the wives of someone that was in his squadron 284 00:19:18,250 --> 00:19:22,510 Speaker 1: stopped me at the commissary, the grocery store on base, 285 00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:27,470 Speaker 1: and told me, she's like, your husband is a completely 286 00:19:27,570 --> 00:19:32,630 Speaker 1: different person than the person we knew five years ago. Like, 287 00:19:32,930 --> 00:19:36,409 Speaker 1: I can tell that he is just not the same anymore. 288 00:19:36,950 --> 00:19:39,149 Speaker 1: And I thought that was so cool. I mean, honestly, 289 00:19:39,170 --> 00:19:40,129 Speaker 1: it scared me a little bit. I was like, oh, 290 00:19:40,170 --> 00:19:42,870 Speaker 1: I wonder who he was before. I didn't know him then. 291 00:19:42,869 --> 00:19:47,100 Speaker 1: But a completely new person. Whereas for me, growing up 292 00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:51,200 Speaker 1: in church and in Christian schools, and I didn't really 293 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:54,940 Speaker 1: have this time and space where I could say like, oh, 294 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,659 Speaker 1: I was like this before and now I'm like this after. 295 00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:00,800 Speaker 1: And I think that created a sort of complacency in 296 00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:05,449 Speaker 1: my life around my spiritual walk. It was just to 297 00:20:05,510 --> 00:20:09,260 Speaker 1: make me better. It was a self-improvement hack. And that's 298 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:10,879 Speaker 1: not what the gospel is. And like I said, it 299 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:16,660 Speaker 1: wasn't until I was in my mid-30s that I really recognized, no, no, no, 300 00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:21,040 Speaker 1: that is not what the Bible teaches. I have to 301 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:24,199 Speaker 1: be completely transformed, completely made new. And so I hope 302 00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:28,909 Speaker 1: that's helpful to you. As you think about anything you 303 00:20:28,950 --> 00:20:32,970 Speaker 1: are influenced to try in the self-improvement realm, I want 304 00:20:33,010 --> 00:20:37,869 Speaker 1: you to think about what real transformation is because we 305 00:20:37,910 --> 00:20:40,560 Speaker 1: talk about idolatry a lot on the show, but I 306 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:44,060 Speaker 1: feel like the promise of so many of these hacks 307 00:20:44,140 --> 00:20:47,879 Speaker 1: and tricks and products that we are influenced to try 308 00:20:47,940 --> 00:20:51,830 Speaker 1: or buy, the promise is that they will transform us, right? 309 00:20:51,940 --> 00:20:54,950 Speaker 1: I can try this weight loss plan. It will transform 310 00:20:54,990 --> 00:20:58,869 Speaker 1: my body and therefore it will transform my life. Now, again, 311 00:20:58,930 --> 00:21:02,490 Speaker 1: I'm not saying there's anything wrong with weight loss. And 312 00:21:02,550 --> 00:21:05,369 Speaker 1: you might feel better. There might be some benefit. You 313 00:21:05,410 --> 00:21:09,590 Speaker 1: might feel some transformation. What I'm saying is it's not 314 00:21:09,650 --> 00:21:13,189 Speaker 1: going to be the deep spiritual transformation, first of all, 315 00:21:13,210 --> 00:21:16,490 Speaker 1: that we all long for and need, but it's not 316 00:21:16,550 --> 00:21:20,790 Speaker 1: going to be as comprehensive as the marketing promises. It 317 00:21:20,850 --> 00:21:24,510 Speaker 1: will be. It just can't be. That is reserved for 318 00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:28,189 Speaker 1: what Jesus alone does in our lives. And like we 319 00:21:28,210 --> 00:21:31,800 Speaker 1: said at the beginning, it does become confusing because we think, well, 320 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,060 Speaker 1: Jesus wants me to be better in all of these areas. 321 00:21:35,540 --> 00:21:38,199 Speaker 1: Like maybe it's God's will that I put a lot 322 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,619 Speaker 1: of effort into changing my body and changing my time 323 00:21:41,660 --> 00:21:45,760 Speaker 1: management and changing my financial status and changing the way 324 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,920 Speaker 1: my house is organized. Because again, those aren't bad things. 325 00:21:49,980 --> 00:21:55,179 Speaker 1: But I think the problem is for us is we 326 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:59,850 Speaker 1: lose our focus. We forget which change will actually bring 327 00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:03,660 Speaker 1: us life and which change will you know, perhaps make 328 00:22:03,740 --> 00:22:09,359 Speaker 1: our schedules or days a little easier. We confuse God's 329 00:22:09,500 --> 00:22:15,310 Speaker 1: holy work of sanctification and transformation with our own goals 330 00:22:15,710 --> 00:22:19,550 Speaker 1: of just being better, building a better life for ourselves 331 00:22:20,230 --> 00:22:23,560 Speaker 1: here on the earth. So how do I tell the 332 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:30,619 Speaker 1: difference between God's version of self-improvement and the world's version 333 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:34,210 Speaker 1: of self-improvement? Well, I'm going to give you a framework here. 334 00:22:34,470 --> 00:22:37,379 Speaker 1: There are some questions that you can ask so that 335 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:43,859 Speaker 1: you can tell who is behind this initiative. Let's put 336 00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:46,939 Speaker 1: it like that. Okay, first question is this. Who is 337 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:51,459 Speaker 1: the source of this improvement? Who am I depending on 338 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:56,010 Speaker 1: to get it done? Is it my own willpower and self-discipline? 339 00:22:56,030 --> 00:23:01,149 Speaker 1: Or is this me daily asking the Holy Spirit to 340 00:23:01,290 --> 00:23:05,100 Speaker 1: work in my life to develop or cultivate this in 341 00:23:05,140 --> 00:23:07,460 Speaker 1: my life? Because remember, the fruit of the Spirit is 342 00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:11,040 Speaker 1: that list of things that every believer can and should 343 00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:14,580 Speaker 1: exhibit because of the way the Spirit is working on us. 344 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:19,170 Speaker 1: So if the main source of your self-improvement is you, friend... 345 00:23:22,670 --> 00:23:26,350 Speaker 1: God wants to do more than that. Let him work. 346 00:23:27,130 --> 00:23:31,100 Speaker 1: Question two, what is the goal of my self-improvement? Is 347 00:23:31,140 --> 00:23:34,720 Speaker 1: the goal so that I can be optimized and impressive 348 00:23:35,340 --> 00:23:40,620 Speaker 1: or more comfortable? Or is the goal Christ-likeness and back 349 00:23:40,660 --> 00:23:43,530 Speaker 1: to that fruit? Do I even care about having the 350 00:23:43,570 --> 00:23:46,830 Speaker 1: fruit of the Spirit? Am I going to be more 351 00:23:46,930 --> 00:23:50,580 Speaker 1: loving and of my neighbor? Will I love God more 352 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:55,119 Speaker 1: if I accomplish this goal? Or is this goal going 353 00:23:55,260 --> 00:24:00,860 Speaker 1: to really subtly probably make me more proud, perhaps even 354 00:24:00,980 --> 00:24:04,790 Speaker 1: less loving to my neighbor? Because now I've got that 355 00:24:04,850 --> 00:24:07,369 Speaker 1: thing that I wanted and I've made myself better. And 356 00:24:07,430 --> 00:24:13,889 Speaker 1: so now I'm just better. Question three, how am I 357 00:24:13,950 --> 00:24:18,010 Speaker 1: measuring my success? The world's self-improvement goals are often measured 358 00:24:18,570 --> 00:24:21,470 Speaker 1: in comparison. I'm doing better than her. Oh, still have 359 00:24:21,550 --> 00:24:23,350 Speaker 1: some room to grow so I can do better than her. 360 00:24:23,369 --> 00:24:26,150 Speaker 1: Or maybe in metrics that I created, like, well, my 361 00:24:26,170 --> 00:24:29,450 Speaker 1: goal is I should weigh this much and my children 362 00:24:29,530 --> 00:24:33,170 Speaker 1: should accomplish this much and my title should be this 363 00:24:33,230 --> 00:24:35,980 Speaker 1: and I should make this much money. It's this list 364 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:42,280 Speaker 1: of things that I need and measuring myself against. But 365 00:24:42,420 --> 00:24:47,290 Speaker 1: God's sanctification, oh goodness, it's so intangible because it's measured 366 00:24:47,810 --> 00:24:51,670 Speaker 1: And how my faith grows. Am I becoming more faithful? 367 00:24:51,690 --> 00:24:55,129 Speaker 1: Am I becoming more trusting of him? Am I leaning 368 00:24:55,230 --> 00:24:58,790 Speaker 1: on him more? Am I growing in obedience to him? 369 00:24:58,810 --> 00:25:03,840 Speaker 1: Am I becoming faster at letting the Holy Spirit lead me? 370 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,300 Speaker 1: When he prompts me, am I listening to that still 371 00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:12,600 Speaker 1: small voice and doing as he says? That is God's 372 00:25:12,660 --> 00:25:17,100 Speaker 1: measure of success as he sanctifies us. Number four, what 373 00:25:17,340 --> 00:25:22,459 Speaker 1: are the results of my goals? Am I looking for self-improvement, 374 00:25:22,820 --> 00:25:28,120 Speaker 1: self-optimization goals that often lead to pride or even burnout? 375 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:29,899 Speaker 1: Like honestly, I think this is why we go on 376 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:32,670 Speaker 1: and off of weight loss plans because too often they're 377 00:25:32,710 --> 00:25:35,530 Speaker 1: just self-improvement goals. We're doing it for us. And then 378 00:25:35,550 --> 00:25:37,389 Speaker 1: we burn out, we run out of steam, we get 379 00:25:37,450 --> 00:25:40,970 Speaker 1: frustrated and we can't make it happen. But if our 380 00:25:40,990 --> 00:25:44,899 Speaker 1: goals are Christ-centered, And in pursuit of making me a 381 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:47,560 Speaker 1: holier woman who looks like Jesus. Now, hear me, I'm 382 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,270 Speaker 1: not saying, oh, okay, well, I'm just going to go 383 00:25:50,310 --> 00:25:52,409 Speaker 1: on a diet and I'm going to call it Christ-centered. 384 00:25:52,490 --> 00:25:55,210 Speaker 1: That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm saying God's 385 00:25:55,390 --> 00:26:01,949 Speaker 1: sanctification process in me is my goal. Weight loss, body transformation, 386 00:26:02,030 --> 00:26:05,240 Speaker 1: all these other things are secondary to that goal. And 387 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,960 Speaker 1: as I pursue Christ, as I pursue him making me 388 00:26:08,980 --> 00:26:13,679 Speaker 1: a holier woman, I can then lean into the okay, Jesus, 389 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:15,960 Speaker 1: you're developing the fruit of the spirit in my life. 390 00:26:16,220 --> 00:26:19,550 Speaker 1: You are making me more loving. You are cultivating a 391 00:26:19,670 --> 00:26:23,350 Speaker 1: holiness in me. Now help all these other messy areas 392 00:26:23,410 --> 00:26:28,250 Speaker 1: of my life. Help my time management. Help my money management. 393 00:26:28,670 --> 00:26:32,490 Speaker 1: Help me to know how to rightly handle food and exercise. 394 00:26:33,290 --> 00:26:36,840 Speaker 1: And as I am completely surrendered to him with the 395 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:42,410 Speaker 1: primary goal of becoming more like him, all those secondary 396 00:26:42,490 --> 00:26:48,470 Speaker 1: goals should result in humility, not in pride, right? Even 397 00:26:48,550 --> 00:26:50,450 Speaker 1: if I reach my weight loss goal and I'm the 398 00:26:50,530 --> 00:26:55,470 Speaker 1: most organized person on the planet, I will be humble 399 00:26:55,630 --> 00:26:58,679 Speaker 1: in the results because it was Jesus that did the 400 00:26:58,740 --> 00:27:01,440 Speaker 1: work in and through me. It wasn't my effort. It 401 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,760 Speaker 1: wasn't my white knuckling, my discipline, my willpower. You should 402 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,900 Speaker 1: see how many things I turned down and said no 403 00:27:07,940 --> 00:27:10,180 Speaker 1: to so that I could make this body happen. Friend, 404 00:27:10,220 --> 00:27:14,820 Speaker 1: that is That's not Christ likeness. And it's actually not 405 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,200 Speaker 1: where freedom is because, oh goodness, when it all depends 406 00:27:17,260 --> 00:27:20,300 Speaker 1: on me, I can be crushed under the pressure of that. 407 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:25,199 Speaker 1: I am stressed about that. And then I have to 408 00:27:25,260 --> 00:27:26,680 Speaker 1: hold on to it, right? And that's a lot of 409 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,460 Speaker 1: pressure too. Like I made this thing happen and now 410 00:27:29,500 --> 00:27:31,879 Speaker 1: I've got to keep this high powered job. I've got 411 00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:33,620 Speaker 1: to keep this amount of money in my bank account. 412 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:36,209 Speaker 1: I got to keep this weight, stress, stress, stress. It's 413 00:27:36,250 --> 00:27:39,080 Speaker 1: all on me. It's all on me. Instead of, no, 414 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:43,030 Speaker 1: I am surrendered. I am trusting God with every step here. 415 00:27:43,050 --> 00:27:45,110 Speaker 1: This is work he's doing in and through me. It's 416 00:27:45,170 --> 00:27:51,429 Speaker 1: a lifelong process and I can rest in him. And 417 00:27:51,450 --> 00:27:54,629 Speaker 1: then number five, what direction is this goal taking me in? 418 00:27:55,310 --> 00:27:58,970 Speaker 1: My self-improvement goals, if they're of the world, are going 419 00:27:58,990 --> 00:28:02,030 Speaker 1: to push my focus inward. And all you have to 420 00:28:02,070 --> 00:28:04,900 Speaker 1: do is just be honest with yourself, friend. Do you 421 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,560 Speaker 1: stop and spiral into thoughts about yourself and how you 422 00:28:07,580 --> 00:28:09,179 Speaker 1: look and what others think about how you look and 423 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:10,639 Speaker 1: what you're doing and if you're doing good or if 424 00:28:10,660 --> 00:28:12,459 Speaker 1: you're doing bad or how well you're doing or how 425 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,719 Speaker 1: you should do better? Oh, friend, that was my internal 426 00:28:14,740 --> 00:28:18,619 Speaker 1: dialogue forever. So I know it. I get it. But 427 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:24,200 Speaker 1: that's the trap of self-improvement, right? It's not freedom. Or 428 00:28:24,859 --> 00:28:29,840 Speaker 1: do my goals have an outward overflow? No. In the 429 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:36,730 Speaker 1: sanctification process, we are learning more to become like Jesus, 430 00:28:36,770 --> 00:28:39,969 Speaker 1: which is to become more loving. And the growth that 431 00:28:40,010 --> 00:28:44,110 Speaker 1: happens to us through sanctification makes me more available to 432 00:28:44,230 --> 00:28:47,930 Speaker 1: others instead of less available to others. And I mean mentally, 433 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,180 Speaker 1: like I'm actually able to show up in a room, 434 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:55,180 Speaker 1: ask people questions about themselves. I care. And that sounds cold, 435 00:28:55,300 --> 00:28:58,219 Speaker 1: but some of you, you know exactly what I mean. 436 00:28:59,500 --> 00:29:02,100 Speaker 1: Oh friend, we're so self-focused, it's hard to care. And 437 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:07,050 Speaker 1: that's the trap of self-improvement, whereas sanctification has the opposite goal, 438 00:29:07,770 --> 00:29:12,370 Speaker 1: to make me think about and love others more. And finally, 439 00:29:12,410 --> 00:29:17,250 Speaker 1: the big question is, is this goal about trying to 440 00:29:17,330 --> 00:29:20,840 Speaker 1: look more like Jesus or trying to look more like 441 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:27,140 Speaker 1: the ideal me? I mean, we're all shaping ourselves toward 442 00:29:27,740 --> 00:29:31,840 Speaker 1: some goal. picture of who we want to be. But 443 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:36,590 Speaker 1: the question for the Christian woman is who drew that picture? 444 00:29:36,850 --> 00:29:41,920 Speaker 1: Is that picture? about being more like Jesus? Or is 445 00:29:41,980 --> 00:29:47,170 Speaker 1: that picture about being more like someone whose body or 446 00:29:47,370 --> 00:29:51,940 Speaker 1: life you admire? And we do an exercise in the 447 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:56,450 Speaker 1: 40-Day Body Image Workbook about ideal image. I talk a 448 00:29:56,450 --> 00:29:59,790 Speaker 1: lot about that. I also talk about these ideals in 449 00:29:59,830 --> 00:30:03,330 Speaker 1: my book called The Comparison-Free Life, which really was called 450 00:30:03,670 --> 00:30:06,060 Speaker 1: The Burden of Better first when it was first published 451 00:30:06,100 --> 00:30:08,880 Speaker 1: and fits perfectly with what we're talking about today. But 452 00:30:08,900 --> 00:30:10,680 Speaker 1: you can go check out the book, The Comparison-Free Life. 453 00:30:10,700 --> 00:30:14,020 Speaker 1: And in that book, I talk about how our ideals 454 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:20,000 Speaker 1: always become our idols. Anything that you long for is 455 00:30:20,900 --> 00:30:26,960 Speaker 1: going to demand affection, attention, and worship. And so, friend, 456 00:30:27,020 --> 00:30:33,460 Speaker 1: if your growth plan is about this ideal you, that's 457 00:30:33,500 --> 00:30:37,330 Speaker 1: the work we do in coaching all the time. It's 458 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:41,710 Speaker 1: helping you see that ideal you as the idol that 459 00:30:41,730 --> 00:30:46,970 Speaker 1: it is and really find freedom in putting those ideals 460 00:30:47,050 --> 00:30:50,170 Speaker 1: to death so that you can become who Jesus has 461 00:30:50,260 --> 00:30:52,700 Speaker 1: created you to be and wants you to be and 462 00:30:52,780 --> 00:30:56,640 Speaker 1: find the freedom and rest there of thriving as the 463 00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,800 Speaker 1: person that he created you to be and taking the 464 00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:03,540 Speaker 1: pressure off from trying to be this ideal self. I mean, friends, 465 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:06,090 Speaker 1: I work with women ages 50 and up. I work 466 00:31:06,110 --> 00:31:09,370 Speaker 1: with women of all ages, but it's just especially compelling 467 00:31:09,390 --> 00:31:10,610 Speaker 1: when I talk to women who are in their 60s 468 00:31:10,610 --> 00:31:14,430 Speaker 1: or 70s. And they come to me because they've been 469 00:31:14,510 --> 00:31:18,330 Speaker 1: chasing this thing for 30, 40, 50, even 60 years, 470 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:21,640 Speaker 1: trying to be the ideal them. And they're getting on 471 00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:23,860 Speaker 1: the other side of, do we call it a hill? 472 00:31:23,980 --> 00:31:26,280 Speaker 1: I don't know. That doesn't sound very nice or polite, 473 00:31:26,700 --> 00:31:33,670 Speaker 1: but they're getting past midlife towards their final seasons. And 474 00:31:33,690 --> 00:31:36,930 Speaker 1: they're saying, I've been chasing this thing for so long 475 00:31:37,750 --> 00:31:41,450 Speaker 1: and I can't catch it. I can't reach it. And 476 00:31:41,490 --> 00:31:44,550 Speaker 1: I'm wondering, have I missed it? Was there more to 477 00:31:44,610 --> 00:31:48,170 Speaker 1: life all this time? And we go through a process, right? 478 00:31:48,210 --> 00:31:51,780 Speaker 1: Because it's hard to come to that place and feel 479 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:55,240 Speaker 1: like you wasted time or feel just discouraged that you've 480 00:31:55,260 --> 00:31:57,820 Speaker 1: been doing something for so long and it hasn't worked, 481 00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,890 Speaker 1: of course. And so we go through how to, you know, 482 00:32:01,190 --> 00:32:04,270 Speaker 1: God is so gracious to redeem those years. The locust 483 00:32:04,290 --> 00:32:08,530 Speaker 1: has eaten is what scripture says. But we talk about 484 00:32:08,850 --> 00:32:11,709 Speaker 1: what to do with those feelings, but then also that 485 00:32:11,750 --> 00:32:16,430 Speaker 1: it's never too late to start chasing him. I was 486 00:32:16,470 --> 00:32:21,570 Speaker 1: just reading this morning the parable of the folks who 487 00:32:21,610 --> 00:32:25,970 Speaker 1: were hired to tend the garden or tend the vineyard, 488 00:32:26,010 --> 00:32:29,820 Speaker 1: I guess it was. And remember, Jesus pays those workers 489 00:32:29,860 --> 00:32:32,680 Speaker 1: that were hired last the same as he pays the 490 00:32:32,700 --> 00:32:38,950 Speaker 1: workers that were hired first. It's never too too late 491 00:32:39,030 --> 00:32:42,430 Speaker 1: to start walking in grace and trying to become more 492 00:32:42,490 --> 00:32:46,490 Speaker 1: like him. Whatever amount of life you have left, he 493 00:32:46,510 --> 00:32:54,160 Speaker 1: wants to use it. And self-optimization, self-improvement culture's way. Again, 494 00:32:54,180 --> 00:33:00,219 Speaker 1: there's some healthy, helpful things tucked in there, but we 495 00:33:00,260 --> 00:33:04,780 Speaker 1: are so influenced to make that the main thing. We 496 00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:10,540 Speaker 1: are so influenced to let those goals and principles and 497 00:33:10,620 --> 00:33:15,000 Speaker 1: rules lead us instead of allowing Jesus and what he 498 00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,240 Speaker 1: wants to do in and through us to be the 499 00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:20,760 Speaker 1: main thing. And so today, as we close, the question 500 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:24,200 Speaker 1: I want to leave you with is, which path are 501 00:33:24,220 --> 00:33:28,830 Speaker 1: you on? Are you on the world self-improvement path, believing 502 00:33:28,870 --> 00:33:32,730 Speaker 1: the lie that you can hack everything You can self-optimize. 503 00:33:32,770 --> 00:33:36,330 Speaker 1: You can create for yourself a life you will love 504 00:33:36,410 --> 00:33:41,850 Speaker 1: that will satisfy you. Or do you believe that God's kingdom, 505 00:33:42,130 --> 00:33:46,130 Speaker 1: upside down kingdom, remember, you believe that God's sanctification is 506 00:33:46,250 --> 00:33:50,070 Speaker 1: really where rest and freedom are found. That becoming more 507 00:33:50,230 --> 00:33:53,770 Speaker 1: like Jesus is where you are going to find more 508 00:33:53,910 --> 00:33:57,100 Speaker 1: peace and joy. And that's where you're going to find 509 00:33:57,170 --> 00:34:00,330 Speaker 1: life when you lay down down your life, that's when 510 00:34:00,370 --> 00:34:04,150 Speaker 1: you're going to find life. Let me leave you with 511 00:34:04,170 --> 00:34:08,180 Speaker 1: a couple questions here. Ask yourself about your goals. Could 512 00:34:08,219 --> 00:34:10,380 Speaker 1: I achieve this goal without Jesus? If you can achieve 513 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:14,580 Speaker 1: it without Jesus, friend, it's self-improvement the world's way. Where 514 00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:17,419 Speaker 1: did my picture of better come from? Did it come 515 00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:21,779 Speaker 1: from my feed? Oh, or does my picture of better 516 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:25,410 Speaker 1: come from the Bible? Oh, here's a hard one. If 517 00:34:25,469 --> 00:34:29,649 Speaker 1: God asked me to give this up or If giving 518 00:34:29,670 --> 00:34:33,509 Speaker 1: this up made me look worse by the world's standards, 519 00:34:34,330 --> 00:34:38,979 Speaker 1: would I still pursue it? Oh, that's a hard one, friend. 520 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:45,900 Speaker 1: One more. Is this goal making me more loving and humble? 521 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:54,910 Speaker 1: Or is this self-improvement goal making me more impressed with myself? 522 00:34:55,730 --> 00:34:59,050 Speaker 1: And then finally, Who gets the credit when it works? 523 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:06,480 Speaker 1: And who do I blame when it doesn't? I'm going 524 00:35:06,500 --> 00:35:08,000 Speaker 1: to put all these questions in the show notes so 525 00:35:08,020 --> 00:35:09,620 Speaker 1: you can go back and reflect on them later. But 526 00:35:09,660 --> 00:35:12,410 Speaker 1: from this is your homework for the week. Spend some 527 00:35:12,430 --> 00:35:15,970 Speaker 1: time journaling if you're a journaler or just even writing 528 00:35:16,130 --> 00:35:18,390 Speaker 1: out the answers to these questions. Here's what I say 529 00:35:18,660 --> 00:35:21,170 Speaker 1: all the time in coaching. A lot of us don't 530 00:35:21,210 --> 00:35:23,370 Speaker 1: like to write things out. We'd rather just sit with 531 00:35:23,410 --> 00:35:25,350 Speaker 1: them in our heads, stir it in our heads. Like, 532 00:35:25,430 --> 00:35:27,710 Speaker 1: I'll just think about it in my head and that'll count. 533 00:35:28,630 --> 00:35:31,570 Speaker 1: But friend, there's something powerful that happens when you write 534 00:35:31,850 --> 00:35:35,870 Speaker 1: down your answer. It's like it commits it to being 535 00:35:36,010 --> 00:35:38,230 Speaker 1: true and you have to go back and read it 536 00:35:38,250 --> 00:35:40,549 Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, that's what I actually think. That's 537 00:35:40,570 --> 00:35:43,950 Speaker 1: what I actually believe. And that's when more change can happen. 538 00:35:44,530 --> 00:35:46,370 Speaker 1: So friend, I'm going to put these questions in the 539 00:35:46,410 --> 00:35:50,649 Speaker 1: show notes again, print it out and journals, sit with them, 540 00:35:50,830 --> 00:35:54,529 Speaker 1: write your answers out this week. Just thinking about these 541 00:35:54,570 --> 00:35:59,009 Speaker 1: things isn't how you change. You actually have to act. 542 00:35:59,130 --> 00:36:03,669 Speaker 1: And if you want to work with someone, reach out, improvebodyimage.com, 543 00:36:03,710 --> 00:36:06,790 Speaker 1: go to the work with me page. I have space 544 00:36:06,850 --> 00:36:10,510 Speaker 1: for maybe one more client this month. Tara is working 545 00:36:10,550 --> 00:36:14,549 Speaker 1: with clients. She's fantastic. She was once just like you 546 00:36:14,590 --> 00:36:16,710 Speaker 1: listening to the podcast and she and I've been working 547 00:36:16,730 --> 00:36:19,620 Speaker 1: together for years. And now she's been coaching for a 548 00:36:19,660 --> 00:36:22,600 Speaker 1: few years and she does a great job. So go 549 00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:26,200 Speaker 1: to improvedbodyimage.com and we're happy to walk through this with 550 00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:30,259 Speaker 1: you too. Hey, thanks for listening today. Next time is 551 00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:33,029 Speaker 1: going to be our last episode in this Over the 552 00:36:33,070 --> 00:36:36,090 Speaker 1: Influence series. And we're going to talk about wisdom versus knowledge. 553 00:36:36,430 --> 00:36:39,150 Speaker 1: We've got so much knowledge, right? I mean, oh goodness, 554 00:36:39,190 --> 00:36:40,870 Speaker 1: anything you want to know at the tip of your fingers. 555 00:36:41,850 --> 00:36:45,290 Speaker 1: But what does scripture tell us about wisdom and how 556 00:36:45,330 --> 00:36:47,910 Speaker 1: are those two things different? That's where we're going next week. 557 00:36:48,030 --> 00:36:50,420 Speaker 1: I am so glad that you were here today. If 558 00:36:50,460 --> 00:36:52,299 Speaker 1: this was helpful to you, will you share it with 559 00:36:52,380 --> 00:36:56,200 Speaker 1: a friend or even leave us a review? Those encourage us. 560 00:36:56,739 --> 00:37:00,839 Speaker 1: They help Apple and Spotify know which episodes and which 561 00:37:00,989 --> 00:37:03,730 Speaker 1: shows to show to people that are just searching around 562 00:37:03,750 --> 00:37:05,450 Speaker 1: for something to listen to. That would just be a 563 00:37:05,469 --> 00:37:08,029 Speaker 1: great encouragement if you would Throw us a like. Make 564 00:37:08,070 --> 00:37:10,830 Speaker 1: sure you follow. Make sure you star, depending on what 565 00:37:11,030 --> 00:37:14,470 Speaker 1: app you're on. But leave a review, even a written review. 566 00:37:14,570 --> 00:37:17,069 Speaker 1: That would be really encouraging to us. Thanks again for 567 00:37:17,110 --> 00:37:19,310 Speaker 1: listening today. I hope something today has helped you stop 568 00:37:19,330 --> 00:37:22,410 Speaker 1: comparing and start living. Bye-bye. The Compare 2 Podcast is 569 00:37:22,450 --> 00:37:24,239 Speaker 1: proud to be part of the Life Audio Podcast Network. 570 00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:26,480 Speaker 1: For more great Christian podcasts, go to lifeaudio.com.