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Speaker 1: Life audio. Hi from the Salvation Army. You're listening to

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Speaker 1: Words of Life.

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Speaker 2: The Words of the Life.

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Speaker 3: Hey, and welcome back to Words of Life. As parents,

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Speaker 3: it's easy to focus on grades, assignments, and our kids'

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Speaker 3: academic success, But how can we encourage our children without

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Speaker 3: making achievement their identity. In today's episode, our guests share

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Speaker 3: some practical wisdom on partnering with teachers, supporting struggling students,

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Speaker 3: and helping our kids navigate challenges like anxiety and their

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Speaker 3: growing independence. We pray this conversation encourages you and your family.

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Speaker 3: Was the project I.

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Speaker 1: Help with?

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Speaker 3: Those is when you're having so much fun that I

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Speaker 3: then turn around and she's nowhere to be found.

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Speaker 4: I'm having a blast.

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Speaker 3: Look at this dinosaur like she's like, Okay, I love that.

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Speaker 5: I know.

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Speaker 6: I remember to helping Troy with a project. But they

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Speaker 6: had a talking zoo in second grade and he had

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Speaker 6: to write this big, huge poster board about the sharks

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Speaker 6: and what they did. I'm like, this kid has his

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Speaker 6: handwriting is not great. So I wrote everything and then

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Speaker 6: I got to school and no other parent helped, Like

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Speaker 6: I was the only one that Yes, he did get

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Speaker 6: a good grade. He knew all his facts and everything

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Speaker 6: because you had to push his little button and then

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Speaker 6: he'd tell you everything. But I'm like, oh man, I

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Speaker 6: need to stop rescuing. I just need to let him,

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Speaker 6: like you said, like just struggle through it.

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Speaker 7: I also think nowadays with technology, with all these apps,

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Speaker 7: like it's almost hard not to know what's going on,

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Speaker 7: like school. I get school notifications all the time, a

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Speaker 7: whole just list of emails of like they got this

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Speaker 7: on their assignment. And so if you have the information

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Speaker 7: available to keep track of you know, the grade trackers

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Speaker 7: and all all these things and teachers. I think they

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Speaker 7: actually tell you on their website. You can go to

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Speaker 7: each like grade and they have a link to view

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Speaker 7: the class guide, like hey, this is what they're working

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Speaker 7: on this more teachers.

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Speaker 3: I mean, we can go in and we can get

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Speaker 3: a pdf.

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Speaker 7: Right, So all that information is available for you to know,

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Speaker 7: like where they're supposed to be, what they're working on,

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Speaker 7: more than before. I can't imagine my parents had that information.

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Speaker 7: Glad my parents didn't have.

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Speaker 4: I think the danger the only danger with that is

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Speaker 4: because it's information overload, it can start to lose some

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Speaker 4: of the value. And so I think that when we

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Speaker 4: have so much information, we're convinced that we okay, we

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Speaker 4: know what our kids doing, or we know it when

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Speaker 4: you know it's sometimes isn't actually that? And so I

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Speaker 4: think we want to make sure that we are still

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Speaker 4: having those personal conversations that we've already talked about, you

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Speaker 4: know today about hey, okay, so talk to about what

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Speaker 4: you learned in science? What was that that that's a

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Speaker 4: really cool assignment you're doing, But what is it that

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Speaker 4: you're actually taking away from that? Try to have those

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Speaker 4: conversations because I think that those conversations are far more

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Speaker 4: valuable than just the surface of what was the assignment?

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Speaker 4: What did you get on the assignment? The only other

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Speaker 4: side note to what we were talking about were we

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Speaker 4: how do we check on our kids? And we want

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Speaker 4: to promote that independence. One of the most important conversations

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Speaker 4: every parent needs to have, especially in middle high school parents,

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Speaker 4: is they need to talk to their kids about how

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Speaker 4: they're using AI because every kid is going to and

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Speaker 4: so you need to have a conversation with them about

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Speaker 4: how it's going to be helpful to them, how it's

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Speaker 4: a tool they need to learn how to use, but

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Speaker 4: how they cannot just use it to replace what they're doing.

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Speaker 4: I think math is one of the elements that is

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Speaker 4: a little bit more safe in some ways. But I

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Speaker 4: know my colleagues in the English department absolutely just have

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Speaker 4: their hands full with kids are not writing their own thoughts,

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Speaker 4: and so you know, our daughter, especially are going the

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Speaker 4: one going into high school, she's often talked to us about, yeah,

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Speaker 4: all my classmates just did that on AI. They just

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Speaker 4: used the I to answer that question. And so she's

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Speaker 4: come to the point where like, Okay, I can see

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Speaker 4: where it can help me be a bit more efficient.

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Speaker 4: But we're trying and we want that conversation to happen.

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Speaker 4: We need to and it's hard for us as parents

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Speaker 4: because we didn't have that as kids growing up, and

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Speaker 4: so we don't have that as that experience. So it's

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Speaker 4: important that we start to have a conversation with each

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Speaker 4: of our kids about, Okay, how are we going to

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Speaker 4: have some form of AI help us, but not replace

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Speaker 4: your learning, Because if you don't actually do the work,

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Speaker 4: then you didn't go to the gym today to work out, No,

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Speaker 4: you let the AI bot do the work out for you.

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Speaker 4: You didn't, you know, So you have to actually do

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Speaker 4: the work.

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Speaker 3: And if every single thing we're researching, we're just letting

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Speaker 3: a bot do for us. It's got to be doing

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Speaker 3: something up here that's diminishing.

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Speaker 5: I don't have the science behind that, but I know

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Speaker 5: that there have been studies that are out there that

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Speaker 5: like the brain, like we're not thinking as hard as

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Speaker 5: we did before, Like our creativity is slipping away because

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Speaker 5: we're just letting the bots do it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so have the conversation with your kids. You don't

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Speaker 4: have to have great solutions, but you have to start

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Speaker 4: talking about it. Because yes, you may just see the

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Speaker 4: grades in the grade book and you may see your

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Speaker 4: students turning something in, But how much of that was

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Speaker 4: their own creative thought? How much of that was their effort?

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Speaker 4: Your kid needs to needs to have that conversation, and

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Speaker 4: it's an ongoing conversation.

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Speaker 5: And I imagine that conversation is better to start having early,

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Speaker 5: ye earlier than you probably think you need to have

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Speaker 5: that conversation.

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Speaker 4: So if you're waiting, it might be too late and

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Speaker 4: your kids already developed some bad habits.

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Speaker 3: Hey, you're listening to the Salvation Armies Words of life.

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Speaker 3: We're going to take a quick bad break and we'll

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Speaker 3: be right back. What should parents do. How should they

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Speaker 3: respond appropriately if their child is struggling academically.

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Speaker 4: I think one of the things that we've talked about

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Speaker 4: for and previous to this is one if you immediately

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Speaker 4: jump on the grade and why was that grade so poor?

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Speaker 4: Then you're starting to tie identity to the grade. And

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Speaker 4: so we have to really be careful as parents that

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Speaker 4: we have done the groundwork, and if we haven't, we

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Speaker 4: go back and we really emphasize, Okay, your identity is

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Speaker 4: not tied to this grade. You'd be surprised. I say

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Speaker 4: to my students before every major assessment, how much of

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Speaker 4: your identity is tied to this test? And a lot

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Speaker 4: of them say a lot of my identity And I

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Speaker 4: say zero, zero of your identity is tied to this test.

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Speaker 4: And so I'm saying that, but I'm one voice out

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Speaker 4: of many voices, right, So I think that's the first

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Speaker 4: thing is we just have to really make sure our

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Speaker 4: child knows my identity is not found in whether my

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Speaker 4: grade is a BC, anywhere in between.

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Speaker 3: If the child is really struggling, you've tried to have

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Speaker 3: some conversations and you don't really feel like you're getting anywhere,

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Speaker 3: when should parents reach out to the school. What should

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Speaker 3: that look like? What are parents allowed to do like?

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Speaker 3: What is that process?

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Speaker 7: Then I feel like the first line of defense should

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Speaker 7: be reaching out to the teacher, the one who is

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Speaker 7: present with the student, knows the student, hopefully knows the student,

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Speaker 7: and we would also so that you have established rapport

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Speaker 7: and communication from the beginning of the year, right by

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Speaker 7: going to the open houses, by going to the meetings.

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Speaker 4: If I were to think about it, on the teacher side,

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Speaker 4: you just want to be present, but not overbearing at

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Speaker 4: the beginning, especially, be positive, be encouraging.

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Speaker 7: To be curious, be curious, ask them, hey, what are

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Speaker 7: you seeing, not accusatory.

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Speaker 4: And then when things are struggling, coming with okay, not

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Speaker 4: making an accusation here, just curious, why do you think

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Speaker 4: my son or my daughter might be struggling on this

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Speaker 4: particular topic or what was it that maybe they missed?

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Speaker 4: So I think opening the conversation as opposed to it

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Speaker 4: being Hey, this didn't go the way I wanted. We

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Speaker 4: got to fix it. Sure, yeah we do, but that's

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Speaker 4: a team effort. I think very very often teachers begin

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Speaker 4: to feel like babysitters as opposed to teammates, and so

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Speaker 4: we want to make sure that as parents, when we're

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Speaker 4: reaching out to our kids teachers, that they know, hey,

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Speaker 4: we are equally a part of this, if not the

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Speaker 4: biggest player on the team. How can I support you

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Speaker 4: as you support my child. I was telling Dina's earlier

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Speaker 4: that it's amazing how many emails I get that are very,

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Speaker 4: very aggressive and almost just snarky. And I'll say, hey,

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Speaker 4: let's have a phone conversation, and we get on the

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Speaker 4: phone and all of a sudden, the tone has changed

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Speaker 4: and they're much more receptive. And so I think that

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Speaker 4: if we as parents reach out to our teachers, it

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Speaker 4: should be very positive but saying okay, we want to

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Speaker 4: partner with you in assisting our child. Whatever that looks like.

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Speaker 5: I think you said a couple of really good things

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Speaker 5: was one like we are on the same team, And

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Speaker 5: I think that's helpful to recognize that, like it's not

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Speaker 5: me against you, but like we really are on the

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Speaker 5: same team to help my kids succeed, and I appreciate

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Speaker 5: what you do for that.

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Speaker 7: The social emotional side is asking being curious about what

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Speaker 7: else is going on in my child's life. Are there

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Speaker 7: any significant stressors or events or things that might be

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Speaker 7: you know, distracting them from performing the way that I

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Speaker 7: know that they can, right and talking to yes, the teachers,

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Speaker 7: talking to your child themselves, or just maybe maybe their

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Speaker 7: friendship circles are changing, right, that's a huge part of

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Speaker 7: their life. Are the dynamics between friends and you know,

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Speaker 7: so what is going on in their life that you

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Speaker 7: have to consider that could be impacting how they're performing

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Speaker 7: to guidance counselors are a beautiful resource. Now they're usually

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Speaker 7: more being they're being proactive and they're trying to kind

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Speaker 7: of respond when something's already happened. But you can still

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Speaker 7: bring them in on the conversation so that they can

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Speaker 7: keep an eye and they can sort of assess, like,

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Speaker 7: you know, what could be going on in the school

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Speaker 7: environment for them. Yeah.

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Speaker 6: I think getting to the why is first to you know,

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Speaker 6: communication and then getting to the why is this either

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Speaker 6: suddenly becoming a problem or is a problem. I know

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Speaker 6: our son was bullied and we didn't know about it

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Speaker 6: for a long time, for significant amount of time, and

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Speaker 6: that was his why. That was his why. He was

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Speaker 6: trying just trying to get through the day and just

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Speaker 6: focus on it. It wasn't a physical bullying necessarily, but

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Speaker 6: it certainly attacked his character and his mental health and

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Speaker 6: all of that. So that was a huge part of it.

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Speaker 6: You know, just like I'm not good enough. I can't

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Speaker 6: I can't get through this. So yeah, so getting to

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Speaker 6: the why is definitely a huge, huge thing.

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Speaker 3: We pray that you're enjoying and being blessed by this conversation.

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Speaker 3: We're going to take one more ad break and we'll

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Speaker 3: be right back.

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Speaker 7: Well, we touched on celebrating progress just a little bit,

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Speaker 7: but I feel like you said something about like, hey,

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Speaker 7: celebrating you know, just celebrating the winds really and whatever

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Speaker 7: that looks like. So even if it is they're not

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Speaker 7: bringing home in a but maybe it's a project or

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Speaker 7: an assignment that they wrote and they're reading out to you,

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Speaker 7: or just celebrating whatever that is for your child and

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Speaker 7: maximizing that because those are the experiences that I think

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Speaker 7: that's going to stick with them as part of their

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Speaker 7: academic journey.

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Speaker 3: Right, every person, every student, every human has different gifts

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Speaker 3: and different interests. And I think when you find the thing,

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Speaker 3: the subject, the project or whatever that you saw your

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Speaker 3: kid really shine in, yes, I think really leaning into

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Speaker 3: that and you know, supporting that encouraging them. School historically

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Speaker 3: has a bad rap of just trying to make you

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Speaker 3: better at what you're not good at instead of just

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Speaker 3: really like investing in what your talent is. And I

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Speaker 3: think making sure that we as parents are finding those

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Speaker 3: little sparks in our kids and just like just you know,

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Speaker 3: celebrating that in whatever way we can.

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Speaker 7: I know, our second struggles a little bit more in math.

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Speaker 7: She really works hard on just studying. And you know,

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Speaker 7: she came home and she got like an eighty nine, right,

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Speaker 7: and that's still that's a phenomenal grade. But knowing the

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Speaker 7: work and the effort she put into it, I was like,

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Speaker 7: that's amazing. Let's go get ice cream. Yes, that's just

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Speaker 7: so amazing.

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Speaker 5: You know. She's like, but it wasn't.

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Speaker 7: And I was like, oh my gosh, I know how

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Speaker 7: hard you work. Like We're just so proud of the

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Speaker 7: work you put into that. I was like, this is

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Speaker 7: worth going out and getting ice cream for school is hard.

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Speaker 7: I mean, it just is.

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Speaker 3: No, I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I go every day.

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Speaker 1: I love the Salvation Army's mission. Doing the most good

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Speaker 1: means helping people with material and spiritual needs. You become

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Speaker 1: a part of this every time you give to the

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Speaker 1: Salvation Army. Visit Salvation Army USA dot org to offer

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Speaker 1: your support. You can subscribe to Words of Life on

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Speaker 1: your favorite podcast store or visit Salvation armyesoundcast dot org.

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Speaker 1: Join us next time for the Salvation Armies Words of Life.

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Speaker 2: These are the worst.

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Speaker 1: Life.

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Speaker 2: The words are the words out of life.

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Speaker 3: Thanks so much for listening to Words of Life. We

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Speaker 3: want to thank the team at Life Audio for their

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Speaker 3: partnership with us on the show. Visit lifeaudio dot com,

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Speaker 3: where you'll find dozens of other faith centered podcasts in

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Speaker 3: their network. They have shows about prayer, Bible studying, parenting,

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Speaker 3: and more. Thanks again for listening. We'll see you next time.