1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:10,680 Speaker 2: Welcome to the Love Offering Podcast. I'm your host, Rachel Adam's, 3 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 2: author of Everyday Prayers for Love, Learning to Love God, others, 4 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 2: and even yourself. Each week we dive into meaningful conversations 5 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:19,599 Speaker 2: about how to live out the greatest commandment, loving God 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,599 Speaker 2: with all of our heart's soul, mind and strength, and 7 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:26,120 Speaker 2: loving our neighbors as ourselves, whether through inspiring stories, practical wisdom, 8 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,479 Speaker 2: or biblical truth. My hope is to encourage you to 9 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 2: love boldly, live faithfully, and reflect God's love in your 10 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,839 Speaker 2: everyday life. Today, I'm honored to welcome Sherry Fletcher to 11 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,360 Speaker 2: the show. Shehery is the creator of Beyond I Don't 12 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:40,959 Speaker 2: Know what to say. Grief Communication Cards, a thoughtful resource 13 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:45,080 Speaker 2: designed to help people step into meaningful conversations that bring comfort, connection, 14 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:48,440 Speaker 2: and lasting memories. After the loss of her daughter Annie 15 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:51,680 Speaker 2: in twenty twenty three, Schary now helps others navigate grief 16 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:55,360 Speaker 2: in life's unexpected transitions with faith, reminding us that while 17 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 2: our roles may change, our purpose is eternal. Her message 18 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:02,800 Speaker 2: is best simple and profound. Grief is complicated, but communication 19 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,320 Speaker 2: doesn't have to be well. Hello Shery, and welcome to 20 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,080 Speaker 2: the Love offering podcast. I'm so happy to have you well, 21 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:11,800 Speaker 2: thank you very much. I am thrilled to be here 22 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,040 Speaker 2: and to see you again. Yes, it's been it's been 23 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 2: quite a while. I was on your podcast several years 24 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 2: ago when my devotional came out. Since then, your daughter 25 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,840 Speaker 2: has passed away. And even as we're talking now and 26 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,319 Speaker 2: throughout that, it's like I struggle with the words to 27 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:31,759 Speaker 2: even say. It's like we have the compassion, but I've 28 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 2: not experienced it. And so today's conversation I think is 29 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:38,119 Speaker 2: so valuable. But as we begin, I just would love 30 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 2: to hear more about Annie. So tell us about her. 31 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:44,039 Speaker 1: Wow, every parent loves to talk about their kid, So 32 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:48,080 Speaker 1: thank you for that opportunity. Annie. It was my oldest 33 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:51,680 Speaker 1: of three, my only daughter, have two boys, and she 34 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 1: told us at age twelve that she would be living 35 00:01:54,880 --> 00:02:01,560 Speaker 1: in Nashville if she was a songbird and so basketball player, gritty, 36 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 1: gritty little thing. And she got her master's in social 37 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:09,600 Speaker 1: work and came home and took a job in Ohio, 38 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,840 Speaker 1: like within days, and because she said that it's closer 39 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:14,800 Speaker 1: to Nashville, so I'm going to take this job. So 40 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 1: she moved to Ohio and she only was there for 41 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,680 Speaker 1: about four months before she got a job in Nashville 42 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: with her social work degree, but she just kept writing 43 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,560 Speaker 1: music and producing music. She's also a photographer. And I 44 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 1: am so blessed that her Nashville community has just embraced me, 45 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:33,840 Speaker 1: and all of them say, everyone knew Annie. We don't 46 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 1: know how she came to Nashville, and within months, everyone 47 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:40,680 Speaker 1: knew Annie. So I was like, yeah, that's my girl. 48 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,800 Speaker 1: So she was just one of those people that was 49 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:46,240 Speaker 1: great at connecting other people. If she knew you, she 50 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 1: was your greatest fan. And so many people have told 51 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 1: me great stories about all the things that she did 52 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:55,239 Speaker 1: for them, and it's just reassuring. But she was her 53 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 1: brother's biggest cheerleader. She just loved to bossom around, but 54 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,640 Speaker 1: then also loved to just cheer them on. And like 55 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,400 Speaker 1: I said, all three of my kids are in basketball, 56 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 1: so they just had that love as well. And we 57 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: lived in Washington State, that's where I raised them. We 58 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 1: lived there for thirty years before my husband and I 59 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 1: for his job, also moved to Tennessee. We'll talk about 60 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 1: that a little bit, but yeah, So I'm just so 61 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,639 Speaker 1: blessed that Annie has music. I can listen to I'm 62 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,399 Speaker 1: still working on some of her songs. I have more 63 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:29,240 Speaker 1: that I could possibly produce. Boyfriend at the time that 64 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:32,320 Speaker 1: she passed helped me produce a song that she wrote 65 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 1: that came out. She wrote it with author Katie Reid 66 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 1: and it came out last July. So just many many 67 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 1: blessings that she left me. 68 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,360 Speaker 2: What is the name of the song with Katie Reid? 69 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:46,560 Speaker 1: It's called Raise the Sale? 70 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 2: Okay, now, well it's interesting. So I just saw Katie 71 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 2: at a conference and she sang a song that she wrote, 72 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 2: but I believe it was called Daughter or something like that, 73 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 2: and so I was wondering if it was I'd already 74 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,480 Speaker 2: heard it. But yeah, oh, I'll have to Can you 75 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,200 Speaker 2: give us some links of yes, so Anne listened to 76 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 2: some of the music. 77 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:08,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, yep, Annie Lauren Fletcher. A lot of her stuff 78 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 1: is Annie Lauren music. Those are her socials on iTunes 79 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 1: and Spotify it's Annie Lauren music. And then so Raised 80 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: the Sale is produced under her name. But Katie was 81 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,159 Speaker 1: visiting me and just talking about this book she was 82 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,680 Speaker 1: writing and how she had a song for it, and 83 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,039 Speaker 1: she kind of wanted She was like, I'm kind of suck. 84 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,480 Speaker 1: I'm looking for you know, someone to write with, and 85 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 1: I just kind of flippantly said, oh, you should look 86 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,159 Speaker 1: at my daughter. And at that time, Katie, you know, 87 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,719 Speaker 1: lived in Michigan. And a month later, I get a 88 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 1: text message at about eleven thirty at night and it's 89 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 1: a picture of Katie and Annie. She's like, look who 90 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:40,320 Speaker 1: I found? 91 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:40,839 Speaker 2: Like what? 92 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 1: And they from that one time they met Annie, she 93 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 1: shared the idea. She kind of gave it to Annie. 94 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,680 Speaker 1: She actually recorded it on her phone. So another blessing. 95 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:53,680 Speaker 1: Annie helped her sit down and write that in one session. 96 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:56,560 Speaker 1: And then Annie's boyfriend at the time was able to 97 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,359 Speaker 1: help us produce it with three of Annie's closest friends 98 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,719 Speaker 1: in Nashville. And he was able to because at the 99 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 1: end of that little session with Katie, she said she 100 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:06,599 Speaker 1: was playing it and singing it. She goes, I don't 101 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: know something like that, and he was able to take 102 00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 1: her voice off the cell phone and join it in 103 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,080 Speaker 1: with her friends at the end of that song. And 104 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 1: then the song ends with her going, I don't know 105 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 1: something like that. So very special. 106 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:22,200 Speaker 2: I can't wait to listen. And what a gift that 107 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:24,720 Speaker 2: you still get to hear her voice and that her 108 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 2: legacy is living on in that way. Well, no, imagine, 109 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 2: because I haven't experienced what you've experienced, that the grief 110 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,760 Speaker 2: has shaped the way you see God. And so when 111 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:40,120 Speaker 2: you look back, where do you see God's intentionality most 112 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:41,880 Speaker 2: clearly in your journey? 113 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:42,240 Speaker 3: Wow? 114 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 1: All over? When I was podcasting, I asked my guests, 115 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,479 Speaker 1: looking back over your life, how far back can you 116 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,320 Speaker 1: go and see the very purpose that you're living out 117 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 1: today in who you've always been? And very very shortly 118 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:59,160 Speaker 1: after Annie passed Deuteronomy thirty one eight, I don't know. 119 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:01,719 Speaker 1: I don't remember her how I read it or where 120 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,160 Speaker 1: it came to mind, But you know, do not fear 121 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:07,120 Speaker 1: the Lord himself is gone, is going before you. And 122 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,840 Speaker 1: all of a sudden I just heard looking back, how 123 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:12,279 Speaker 1: far back can you go to see I have gone 124 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,600 Speaker 1: before you to help you through this? Like all these 125 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,599 Speaker 1: things I've put in place to help you through this? 126 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,599 Speaker 1: And as I've done that, I can go back to 127 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 1: you know, Katie Reid coming through my town, my husband's job, 128 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,760 Speaker 1: moving us to Tennessee. I could spend the last three 129 00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:28,600 Speaker 1: years of my life with her, moving my son to Tennessee. 130 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 1: He could spend time all these things that you don't 131 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,719 Speaker 1: you know, You've got to look, Wow, look at this 132 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,200 Speaker 1: person he put in my life. The street I moved 133 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:38,600 Speaker 1: on to from. You know, I moved from Seattle to Tennessee, 134 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,080 Speaker 1: and the street I'm on, the lady next door lost 135 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 1: her daughter and we've teamed up together and we're working 136 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,839 Speaker 1: with We're gonna have a bereaved Mother's Day tea from 137 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 1: women in the community. God put me across the street 138 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,800 Speaker 1: from her, and I'm just looking at things that God 139 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 1: was putting in place that I would need to comfort, 140 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 1: and I just think, Wow, God look at you and 141 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,600 Speaker 1: does not take does not minimize the pain. It does not. 142 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:09,360 Speaker 1: But you know, God himself lost a child, and so 143 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:13,000 Speaker 1: I often think, man, he does know everything we've gone through. 144 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:15,960 Speaker 1: He really does, and it just has shaped how I 145 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,840 Speaker 1: see him differently for sure. 146 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,800 Speaker 2: Well, we are going to take a brief break to 147 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,000 Speaker 2: hear a word from our sponsor, and when we come back, 148 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 2: we'll continue this conversation on grief, faith in God's presence 149 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:31,080 Speaker 2: in our hardest moments. Welcome back. I'm talking with Cherry 150 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:34,280 Speaker 2: Fletcher about walking through grief with faith and finding God 151 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:37,280 Speaker 2: in the midst of loss. And Cherryeve said that we're 152 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:40,960 Speaker 2: not holding on alone, we are held. So what does 153 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 2: that mean for someone who feels like they're barely hanging 154 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 2: on today? 155 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 1: You know, before any past I always was really irritated 156 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,520 Speaker 1: by the phrase hang in there when someone says that 157 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 1: a lot of times you're struggling and someone doesn't know 158 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 1: what to say, and they go, well, hang in there, 159 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,680 Speaker 1: and they leave, and you're going, well, what what is that? 160 00:07:57,840 --> 00:07:58,840 Speaker 1: Is that supposed to comfort me? 161 00:07:58,960 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 2: Or is that? 162 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:00,680 Speaker 1: Did you you inspire me? 163 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:01,200 Speaker 2: What was that? 164 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,720 Speaker 1: I've always kind of been cynical on that phrase, And 165 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,760 Speaker 1: before Annie passed, I told someone someday, I am not 166 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,679 Speaker 1: hanging in there. God does not leave us to hang 167 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 1: at nowhere does he say hang in there. That just 168 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,160 Speaker 1: means I have to rely on my own strength. And 169 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 1: I know I'm gonna fall. I'm gonna let go and 170 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,880 Speaker 1: I'm going to fall. And I'm like God tells us 171 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,160 Speaker 1: over and over in the Bible, I am holding you 172 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:25,200 Speaker 1: with my right hand. I saya forty one ten. Is 173 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 1: you know, don't be afraid again like duter only thirty 174 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 1: one eight, don't be afraid I'm holding you. And I 175 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 1: would tell people now I'm not hanging in there. I'm 176 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:37,760 Speaker 1: being held in there. And again you being intentional to 177 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:41,520 Speaker 1: find the ways that God puts people in your life 178 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 1: and situations where he's reminding you, hey, you're not alone 179 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:48,360 Speaker 1: in this. You're not hanging in there. I am holding 180 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,840 Speaker 1: you in there. And I have very dear friends. You know, 181 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:54,240 Speaker 1: when you're going through such a deep grief, sometimes reading 182 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:55,959 Speaker 1: your Bibles, you just don't want to do it. Sometimes 183 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,240 Speaker 1: you don't want to pray. Sometimes you don't even you know, 184 00:08:58,240 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: you're just like God, I don't even have anything to 185 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,120 Speaker 1: say to you today. And on those days I would 186 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 1: get text messages with a prayer, text messages with the 187 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,880 Speaker 1: Bible verse. One of my friends has texted me every 188 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,480 Speaker 1: single day since the day Annie went into the hospital, 189 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:13,480 Speaker 1: and she always ends the text with held, because she 190 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:16,640 Speaker 1: knows that means I'm held in there and so looking 191 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:20,040 Speaker 1: for the ways. Even if it's a bird singing outside, 192 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,400 Speaker 1: some days, I'm like, thank you God for sending that 193 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 1: little bird to sing a song to me and remind 194 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:28,280 Speaker 1: me that I'm being held in there. Sometimes a neighbor 195 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 1: will stop by with fresh flowers, or just one day, 196 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:33,720 Speaker 1: a lady was at the dry cleaner and she saw 197 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,760 Speaker 1: that I had stuff there, picked it up brought it over, 198 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,280 Speaker 1: Like those are little ways that God's like, hey, I'm 199 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:39,240 Speaker 1: holding you in there. 200 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,160 Speaker 2: That's such a beautiful example of being God's hands and 201 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 2: feet too. You know, that really is how because God 202 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:49,800 Speaker 2: sometimes does feel intangible, but we the people, were the body, 203 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,120 Speaker 2: and we make him known tangibly because of the way 204 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:56,400 Speaker 2: that they're surrounding, Like what a beautiful community he surrounded 205 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:56,679 Speaker 2: you with. 206 00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:59,520 Speaker 1: What it takes a village and our village that wou 207 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 1: our kids, and they have not just gone away. They 208 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,600 Speaker 1: are still continuing to check in and call and pray 209 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,720 Speaker 1: and with my boys. You know, siblings are called the 210 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,800 Speaker 1: forgotten grievers, and a lot of people don't think about that. 211 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:16,200 Speaker 1: And I've just been so glad when my boys say, oh, 212 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 1: pastor so and so from you know, Seattle called and 213 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,560 Speaker 1: just prayed with us and checked in, and other friends 214 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:24,000 Speaker 1: have called called, and some of their good friends have 215 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,920 Speaker 1: flown out and seen them and gone to see Annie's 216 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,520 Speaker 1: resting place with them. I thought that that's just amazing. 217 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, it really is. So how do you keep walking 218 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,920 Speaker 2: forward when the future feels uncertain or heavy? Because I 219 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:38,840 Speaker 2: imagine that is how it feels. 220 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:42,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Grace, A lot of grace and not and 221 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,520 Speaker 1: I don't. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I mean, 222 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,120 Speaker 1: there are days I'm not getting out of my pajamas 223 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:52,000 Speaker 1: and that's okay. You know, there are days I don't 224 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:55,199 Speaker 1: want to, but they're you know, I've got I've got 225 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,480 Speaker 1: to get up and I've got to do stuff. Sometimes 226 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,200 Speaker 1: it's okay, one, two, three, let's just get out of 227 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 1: bed and do it. But looking being able to look back, 228 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 1: being able to say, okay, God show up for me today, 229 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 1: meeting with these other bereaved moms. You know the God 230 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:12,280 Speaker 1: of comfort that Second Corinthians, where it says God comforts 231 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,720 Speaker 1: us in ways that then we can turn and comfort others. 232 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,440 Speaker 1: And to know that God is going to use me 233 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,559 Speaker 1: sometimes my stubborn shriek is you know that. I don't 234 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,040 Speaker 1: know if you've seen that sign that says, you know, 235 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:23,680 Speaker 1: you're the kind of woman that gets up and hits 236 00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 1: the floor. And Satan's like, shoot, I want to be 237 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:30,840 Speaker 1: that woman. And I want him to realize that, you know, yes, 238 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,840 Speaker 1: he has done some major damage in our family, but 239 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,840 Speaker 1: I'm going to remind him. He already knows this, but 240 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 1: I'm going to remind him that he's lost Satan is 241 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 1: not trying to win's he already knows he's lost. What 242 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,800 Speaker 1: he wants is to take as many people down with 243 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,160 Speaker 1: him as he can. And I'm going to remind him 244 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:50,600 Speaker 1: that that's not happening on my watch. And trying to 245 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:54,520 Speaker 1: be that stubborn will give me some strength. Not every day, 246 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,559 Speaker 1: not all day long. I get tired about three point 247 00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:00,480 Speaker 1: thirty and I allow myself to have that time and 248 00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:03,200 Speaker 1: to protect that time, and you know, to just do 249 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,560 Speaker 1: what I can within the hours that I have energy. 250 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:09,680 Speaker 2: Your message reminds us that roles may change, but purpose remains. 251 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:12,360 Speaker 2: So how did that become especially real for you? 252 00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's been my message before anty passed. Your roles 253 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 1: in life we're going to change, but your purpose is eternal. 254 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 1: You know your purpose, Rachel, And my purpose is to 255 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:24,440 Speaker 1: glorify God and to give to others the gifts that 256 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,599 Speaker 1: He's given us. That's everybody's purpose. But the gifts of 257 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:30,719 Speaker 1: our calling are different, and the callings that we have 258 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:34,240 Speaker 1: we take into every role, but those roles end. And 259 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,559 Speaker 1: a lot of times people play so much identity of 260 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:41,240 Speaker 1: who they are in a role, and that's not who 261 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,520 Speaker 1: we are is you know, Psalms one thirty nine, who 262 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:47,199 Speaker 1: God wove us together, where his masterpiece. And when a 263 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:50,320 Speaker 1: role ends, even if we have a brief moment to 264 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 1: restore and have a sabbath, He's going to take our 265 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,520 Speaker 1: calling and put it right back into another role that 266 00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:58,920 Speaker 1: he needs. So our roles in life are going to end, 267 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:01,920 Speaker 1: but our purpose is eternal. What you know, I am 268 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:05,680 Speaker 1: no longer an active I'm not actively mothering Annie. That 269 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,560 Speaker 1: role end. But when she was in my life, the 270 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:10,720 Speaker 1: purpose that I had in her life that has an 271 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:15,760 Speaker 1: eternal impact. And so many people get their identity so 272 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,200 Speaker 1: wrapped up in the active role that they're in that 273 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,480 Speaker 1: when it ends, they feel like their identity is gone. 274 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:23,559 Speaker 1: And yet God's like, no, I made you a masterpiece. 275 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,400 Speaker 1: I wove you together. I know everything about you, and 276 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,640 Speaker 1: I'm going to keep using you. You know, he that 277 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:31,280 Speaker 1: began a good work is going to continue it. And 278 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,800 Speaker 1: he's still continue it says until he comes, not until 279 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,160 Speaker 1: I die, he said, it says until he comes. And 280 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:40,400 Speaker 1: he's still actively using my daughter's music and her message, 281 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:43,400 Speaker 1: and he is still actively using the good work he 282 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,760 Speaker 1: began in her. It's an eternal purpose. 283 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,880 Speaker 2: Well for the woman who feels like grief has rewritten 284 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:52,959 Speaker 2: their identity, where do they begin to keep going? 285 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, it really you know, And I was telling you 286 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,600 Speaker 1: before we hit record, I'm on this is going to 287 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:02,320 Speaker 1: be my third year in August, and so I'm only 288 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:06,320 Speaker 1: speaking from three years of experience. Luckily, I have friends 289 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:09,520 Speaker 1: that are further along that kind of tell me, hey, 290 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:12,160 Speaker 1: you know, yes, this is feeling this way now, but 291 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,720 Speaker 1: you know five years will be this or that. You 292 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:18,640 Speaker 1: never miss them less, you never miss them less intensely, 293 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,280 Speaker 1: but you're going to be able to carry it a 294 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,880 Speaker 1: little bit better. So if someone's listening in. 295 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:28,440 Speaker 3: The first, very very first stages, just please allow yourself 296 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:32,400 Speaker 3: to have some grace on yourself and realize, whatever you're feeling, 297 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:36,120 Speaker 3: whatever you're going through, this is not your identity. But 298 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:39,920 Speaker 3: God he restores, and if he is rewriting the story, 299 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,440 Speaker 3: He's going to continue to use you. 300 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,920 Speaker 1: But you are still the masterpiece he created. He doesn't 301 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,880 Speaker 1: create something and then expect us to figure out why 302 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:53,440 Speaker 1: it doesn't change. But it can be reformed, It can 303 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:58,080 Speaker 1: be reshaped and used in a different way. And I'm 304 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 1: finding that now even more and more, as you know, 305 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:05,680 Speaker 1: the time passes, that God will bring a little bit 306 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:08,760 Speaker 1: more more people into my life that more breed moms 307 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,800 Speaker 1: that I probably could not have had in my life 308 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:14,120 Speaker 1: at the first year. And I'm understanding that, yes, my 309 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 1: story might have been rewritten, my identity has not. He's 310 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,800 Speaker 1: going to use it in a different way. 311 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,560 Speaker 2: So you, I'm sure, have found that you can hold 312 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:26,760 Speaker 2: both sorrow and purpose and joy at the same time. 313 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:28,520 Speaker 2: So what does that tension look like for you. 314 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:32,240 Speaker 1: That's the weirdest thing to try and describe. I was 315 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:36,240 Speaker 1: talking to a dear young Moham yesterday and she said, 316 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 1: I'm so thankful and I'm so sad, and I said, yep, 317 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,920 Speaker 1: it's a parallel. It's two lanes that are parallel, and 318 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,600 Speaker 1: you kind of drive the median and you're in both lanes. 319 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 1: And there's times when I'm I'm very my boys are together, 320 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:51,760 Speaker 1: and I'm as happy as can be, and it just 321 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:56,400 Speaker 1: aches at the same time. And I read some more 322 00:15:56,760 --> 00:16:00,320 Speaker 1: about the God of sorrow and how Jesus speaks into 323 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 1: our sorrow. He's there with the broken hearted, and understanding 324 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:09,560 Speaker 1: that I see people differently now, I see situations differently now. 325 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,520 Speaker 1: And there's that song by hillsong break my Heart for 326 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:16,400 Speaker 1: what breaks your and I'm able to see more of 327 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,480 Speaker 1: that than I ever was before. And I just asked, God, 328 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:24,360 Speaker 1: now that my heart is completely broken, maybe I will 329 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:28,040 Speaker 1: be able to absorb more of you God and be 330 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:31,120 Speaker 1: able to pour that into others. But it's always, it's 331 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,720 Speaker 1: always I'm thankful for God for that, but it's always 332 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,800 Speaker 1: followed up with that ache. It's always there. 333 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,360 Speaker 2: I guess the whole conversation has been personal, and so 334 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:41,520 Speaker 2: this next question is a little bit even more so. 335 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,000 Speaker 2: And if you don't want to answer it, that's okay. 336 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,160 Speaker 2: But I'm just thinking about when you go through what 337 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,800 Speaker 2: you've gone through, did you have a period of time 338 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:52,320 Speaker 2: where you were just mad at God and lost your faith? 339 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:55,960 Speaker 2: Because what I'm hearing now three years later, you've clung 340 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:59,840 Speaker 2: to your faith. Yeah. Like, I'm just thinking like that 341 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,240 Speaker 2: could very well be a natural emotion as a part 342 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:04,800 Speaker 2: of going through what you've gone through. 343 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:09,480 Speaker 1: Right, my personal experience, I have not been mad at 344 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:13,080 Speaker 1: God yet. I don't know. But the day after Annie 345 00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:15,720 Speaker 1: passed away, the verse of the Bible, the verse app 346 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,880 Speaker 1: Bible app That verse was Isaiah fifty seven to one, 347 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,560 Speaker 1: where it says the righteous are you know, die young? 348 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:25,280 Speaker 1: And no one seems to care. But I'm delivering them 349 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,520 Speaker 1: from evil to come. And it's not that no one 350 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,959 Speaker 1: cares that they died, it's no one's looking into why, 351 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:33,640 Speaker 1: no one's looking into we're layout TOICEO and no, we're 352 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 1: not paying attention to the spiritual warfare that's out there. 353 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:41,360 Speaker 1: And my personality type is one that wants justice. And 354 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,800 Speaker 1: I've always figured if I get if I am mad 355 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,680 Speaker 1: at God, I'm never gonna have peace because I am 356 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:51,119 Speaker 1: I'm convicting the wrong person here, and my soul's in 357 00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:54,640 Speaker 1: a battle. This world is in the most intense spiritual battle, 358 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:58,000 Speaker 1: and I'm picking God's side because I know he wins, 359 00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:01,679 Speaker 1: and he can handle my anger at the situation. He 360 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:05,960 Speaker 1: can handle my depths of despair, he can handle all 361 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,520 Speaker 1: of it. If I scream this is not fair, I 362 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,760 Speaker 1: scream at God, I'm not going to give the enemy 363 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:17,760 Speaker 1: a foothold. I'm too stubborn. And I just thought, why 364 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,399 Speaker 1: am I mad at God? Because my daughter, you know, 365 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:23,399 Speaker 1: she died of cancer and it wasn't diagnosed till after 366 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,840 Speaker 1: she passed away. We didn't even know she had cancer. 367 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:27,760 Speaker 1: We had from the time she called us and said 368 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,600 Speaker 1: I didn't feel good till she passed away. Was two 369 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:33,080 Speaker 1: weeks and I just think, wow. But we live in 370 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:36,800 Speaker 1: a world that is sin this world, and I've read 371 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:40,439 Speaker 1: a book by Nancy Guthrie called Hearing Jesus Speaking to 372 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:44,199 Speaker 1: Your Sorrow, and she says this powerful thing that the 373 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,600 Speaker 1: promises of God aren't always going to be for our 374 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,480 Speaker 1: comfort on this earth. The promises of God were meant 375 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,560 Speaker 1: for our eternal soul, and so we get disappointed when 376 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:57,119 Speaker 1: we expect them to be answered here. And so the 377 00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:59,920 Speaker 1: Bible verse that was read at Annie's funeral was Saul, 378 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,639 Speaker 1: and I might sometimes get these backwards. It's either Psalms 379 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,840 Speaker 1: fifteen seventeen or seventeen fifteen, where it says when I 380 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,840 Speaker 1: wake up, I will see your face and I will 381 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,680 Speaker 1: be satisfied. And I think this whole world is here 382 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:14,320 Speaker 1: because Satan wasn't satisfied and he wanted to be God. 383 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:17,560 Speaker 1: And everyone on this earth is not satisfied. We're looking 384 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:20,160 Speaker 1: constantly for the next fix. But when we get to heaven, 385 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,919 Speaker 1: when we wake up, you know, when we see Jesus, 386 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:26,520 Speaker 1: we are going to be satisfied. And I love that 387 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,440 Speaker 1: thought that I don't even think we're gonna sit there 388 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,919 Speaker 1: and answer, you know, ask questions like, God, why did 389 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,399 Speaker 1: this happen? Because we're just gonna see his face and 390 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 1: go oh. And for me sometimes I'm like, can I 391 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:42,600 Speaker 1: just be satisfied now that he has a bigger picture 392 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,840 Speaker 1: than I understand? And Annie, you know Psalms one thirty 393 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:49,960 Speaker 1: nine says her days were ordained before they even existed. 394 00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:52,639 Speaker 1: And I don't have all the answers, but I trust 395 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:56,040 Speaker 1: that God does, and He's gone before me. And knowing 396 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,320 Speaker 1: that note, I know he's still going before me. 397 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,920 Speaker 2: I can tell that your faith has carried you through. 398 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,760 Speaker 2: And so we're going to take another brief break to 399 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,760 Speaker 2: hear a word from today's sponsor, and when we come back, 400 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:12,800 Speaker 2: we'll talk about purpose, identity, and moving forward with hope. 401 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,800 Speaker 2: Welcome back. I'm talking with Scheeri Fletcher about grief, purpose 402 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:19,080 Speaker 2: and learning to take the next step forward. So you 403 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:23,040 Speaker 2: talk about how everyday acts of love become sacred in grief. 404 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:26,040 Speaker 2: So what does that look like in real life? 405 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 1: I don't take anything for granted, and this has stopped 406 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:33,720 Speaker 1: me and I see so much now and every little 407 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:36,879 Speaker 1: thing is intentional. I see little kids differently, and I 408 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:42,679 Speaker 1: see my family time differently. See I cherish times that 409 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:46,440 Speaker 1: I have with people and I think this has helped 410 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,680 Speaker 1: me see things that I once really thought were big 411 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,920 Speaker 1: deals as really petty and sometimes I just want to 412 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:55,960 Speaker 1: tell people sometimes that's really not that big of a 413 00:20:56,040 --> 00:21:00,720 Speaker 1: deal really in the scope of things, you know, let 414 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:04,960 Speaker 1: that one go. And I has helped me realize that, Wow, everyone, 415 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,159 Speaker 1: everyone in the world loves their family and wants the 416 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,439 Speaker 1: best for their family. And if we could focus on 417 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:13,480 Speaker 1: that instead of arguing and trying to get our way 418 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,160 Speaker 1: and trying to prove our point, and stop and see 419 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:20,200 Speaker 1: someone for who they are and look for some common ground, 420 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,720 Speaker 1: I think we would find way more in common. And 421 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:26,560 Speaker 1: we do not in common. And I just I don't 422 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:31,879 Speaker 1: have time in my personal heart and life for arguments 423 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,240 Speaker 1: and disagreements that I just don't have it in me. 424 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:38,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, a whole new perspective. Well, so for the person 425 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,720 Speaker 2: that feels like they don't have the right words, how 426 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,959 Speaker 2: can they still love a grieving person? 427 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,919 Speaker 1: Well, yes, I think the wrong words are better than 428 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:51,120 Speaker 1: the the no words at all. From my own personal experience, Yes, 429 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:54,000 Speaker 1: people have said some really they've said some things that 430 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,600 Speaker 1: have shocked me. I haven't had anyone say anything mean, 431 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:58,879 Speaker 1: but they have said things that have shocked me, and 432 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,679 Speaker 1: I have to stop and think. I think approaching a 433 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,800 Speaker 1: parent that has lost a child is probably one of 434 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:07,560 Speaker 1: the scariest situations you could. Like, when I enter a room, 435 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:11,160 Speaker 1: I'm aware that people go, okay, that's that's her, and 436 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:13,960 Speaker 1: so I figure, Okay, this person was brave enough to 437 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,480 Speaker 1: approach me. They were brave enough to say something, and 438 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:20,160 Speaker 1: maybe I didn't take it right, but they were they 439 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:22,919 Speaker 1: came over to say something. There are plenty of people 440 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,200 Speaker 1: that have shocked me that have not even acknowledged that 441 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,520 Speaker 1: our daughter has passed, and that's way more hurtful than 442 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,919 Speaker 1: the person that says, I know how you feel I 443 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:37,040 Speaker 1: lost my dog. Yeah, And I think, okay, you don't 444 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:40,640 Speaker 1: know how I feel, but you're trying to You're trying, 445 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:44,240 Speaker 1: and you know, I think trying to compare your grief 446 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:47,240 Speaker 1: is wrong. Don't do that. Just say I'm really sorry. 447 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,199 Speaker 1: But people get nervous and then they're like, oh no, 448 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,639 Speaker 1: I don't know what to say, and so if they don't, 449 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,760 Speaker 1: they walk away and they say nothing, or they come 450 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,560 Speaker 1: out and say, I know how you feel I lost 451 00:22:56,600 --> 00:23:00,199 Speaker 1: my dog, and I realize, well, that person's very nervous 452 00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:03,800 Speaker 1: to have approached me, and so I just thank them 453 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:08,760 Speaker 1: for trying to understand, but saying even I'm sorry, I'm 454 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,440 Speaker 1: just I'm sorry. That's just all you need to say. 455 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:15,000 Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, and you have given us these grief communication 456 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:18,120 Speaker 2: cards for when we don't know what to say, which 457 00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:21,480 Speaker 2: I think is so important. But you also have created 458 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:25,639 Speaker 2: a private community called now What, a quiet place for grief. 459 00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:28,000 Speaker 2: So what did you see missing that made you feel 460 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,560 Speaker 2: like you needed, like this needed to exist. 461 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:35,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's places to share what you're experiencing, and I 462 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:39,720 Speaker 1: don't think it's social media. My personal and for me, 463 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:43,280 Speaker 1: there are a lot of a lot of bereaved parent 464 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,760 Speaker 1: sites and I'm in those and I'm appreciative for them. 465 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:50,600 Speaker 1: But I have very very close friends who have lost 466 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:54,760 Speaker 1: a loved one, or they have lost the life they 467 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:59,040 Speaker 1: once knew to a very serious illness, or a child 468 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:01,720 Speaker 1: has come up with the serious illness and the child 469 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:05,280 Speaker 1: didn't pass, but their life has been altered, and there's 470 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,240 Speaker 1: no place for them. They don't even get considered grief 471 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,120 Speaker 1: because they didn't lose the child. I have a very 472 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,840 Speaker 1: dear friend. She did not lose the child, but she 473 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:17,159 Speaker 1: lost the way that her daughter's life was and no 474 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,800 Speaker 1: one considers that grief and there's no group for her, 475 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:22,560 Speaker 1: and yet talking about this on social media, I do 476 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,879 Speaker 1: not believe is just it's just not the place. And 477 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,640 Speaker 1: so people were like, where do we go? I don't 478 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,080 Speaker 1: know who to talk to? And so this group is 479 00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:35,360 Speaker 1: a very small group. We share stories, we pray together, 480 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:38,040 Speaker 1: we talk, is a growth minded group. It's not a 481 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,400 Speaker 1: therapy group. That it's for anyone that's lost a loved 482 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,520 Speaker 1: one or the life they wants to knew. And we 483 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:48,640 Speaker 1: zoom and read a book together and it's been a blessing. 484 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:50,760 Speaker 2: Well you'll have to give us the link to that 485 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,840 Speaker 2: before we close today too. But for the woman listening 486 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:57,240 Speaker 2: today who's in a tender place of grief, what would 487 00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,240 Speaker 2: you most want her to hear today? 488 00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:05,119 Speaker 1: And I'm sorry, yeah that no matter what people say, 489 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,320 Speaker 1: even if they say the dumb things and they're trying 490 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 1: to they're trying to relate. You know, when people say 491 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:13,240 Speaker 1: I can't imagine what you're going through, they're actually imagining it. 492 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,760 Speaker 1: It's the pain they can't imagine. It's the pain they 493 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:19,800 Speaker 1: don't want to And I'm sorry for that, But give yourself, 494 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:24,240 Speaker 1: give yourself compassion. Don't compare your grief to anyone else's 495 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:27,880 Speaker 1: and don't downplay it. You know, people will say, well 496 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,240 Speaker 1: I did this in this but it's not anything like yours, 497 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:32,680 Speaker 1: and I'll say, that's not that is not what we're 498 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,560 Speaker 1: doing here, because it's your loss, and to you, it's 499 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:38,720 Speaker 1: just it's your loss and it's just pain as painful 500 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:43,040 Speaker 1: for you. And grief comparison is downplaying your grief and 501 00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:45,720 Speaker 1: trying to, you know, say well it's not as bad, 502 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:48,119 Speaker 1: I'm just going to keep moving is not a healthy way. 503 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,119 Speaker 1: And so just give yourself time, listen to what the 504 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:54,119 Speaker 1: Lord has to say, reach out to people, and just 505 00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:55,879 Speaker 1: have compassion for yourself. 506 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:59,040 Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, on the podcast, we always come back to love. 507 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,520 Speaker 2: So is there a people will concept of love that 508 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:03,399 Speaker 2: you think applies to this topic today? 509 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,800 Speaker 1: Yes? You just I mean, over and over you just 510 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,600 Speaker 1: look at Jesus reaching out to the broken hearted and 511 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:13,880 Speaker 1: his ministry. He's healing, he's touching, he's loving, and it's 512 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:17,600 Speaker 1: great that when you have wonderful days that you you know, 513 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:22,280 Speaker 1: love to post about and stuff too. But Jesus really 514 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:26,200 Speaker 1: understands the ache that we're feeling. And one day when 515 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:29,120 Speaker 1: I was really missing Annie, I really felt God say, 516 00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:31,560 Speaker 1: you know what I miss her too. He misses her 517 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:34,840 Speaker 1: with me, he misses her with our family, he misses 518 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:38,280 Speaker 1: our whole. Dynamic has changed. Our family dynamic is not 519 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,520 Speaker 1: the same. Our family died when Annie died, and I 520 00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:44,439 Speaker 1: just felt God say I miss her too, and it 521 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:49,080 Speaker 1: just was like wow, I had Yeah, God understands, he 522 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:49,640 Speaker 1: gets it. 523 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, yes he does. He collects all of our tears 524 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:56,119 Speaker 2: in the bottle. Well, I know you we've talked about 525 00:26:56,119 --> 00:27:00,400 Speaker 2: how we can hold joy and sorrow and whole those 526 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:03,040 Speaker 2: two things together. And so even though this has been 527 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:07,480 Speaker 2: a heavy conversation, I would also love to know maybe 528 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:08,960 Speaker 2: something you are loving right now. 529 00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:11,840 Speaker 1: I am loving that God brought both of my boys 530 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,520 Speaker 1: and their wives out this way. Having them close by 531 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:18,159 Speaker 1: has been such a comfort, and I'm just enjoying being 532 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:21,280 Speaker 1: able to see them on a regular basis and spend 533 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:25,240 Speaker 1: time with them, and that just gives me. It's what 534 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,960 Speaker 1: a mama need, So it gives me lots of joy. 535 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,080 Speaker 2: I know I want to stay connected with you. I'm 536 00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 2: sure listeners are going to want to They're gonna want 537 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,280 Speaker 2: to grab these resources, maybe join your community, So tell 538 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:36,199 Speaker 2: us how we can best do that. 539 00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:39,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, everything is on Sherry Fletcher dot com and that's 540 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,439 Speaker 1: ch E ri I Fletcher dot com. And yeah, the 541 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:46,280 Speaker 1: grief cards those are just for not just for grieving families, 542 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:48,680 Speaker 1: but anyone that wants to communicate with them and talk 543 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,520 Speaker 1: with them their questions that were asked of me. That 544 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:55,760 Speaker 1: I appreciated being asked, and just help people go beyond 545 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:56,800 Speaker 1: I don't know what to say. 546 00:27:57,040 --> 00:28:00,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, appreciate you helping us to know what to say. 547 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,080 Speaker 2: And so as we come to a close today, would 548 00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:03,960 Speaker 2: you just pray for us? 549 00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:05,879 Speaker 1: I would love to do that. Family, Father, thank you 550 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:11,280 Speaker 1: for this opportunity to share together. And I know that 551 00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:15,160 Speaker 1: by sharing my story maybe there's someone listening that needed 552 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:17,920 Speaker 1: to hear that they're not alone, that they're not hanging 553 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:21,600 Speaker 1: in there, that you have been holding them, that you 554 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,960 Speaker 1: have gone before them, that you've put people in place 555 00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,280 Speaker 1: that will be there to help them and support them. 556 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,679 Speaker 1: And God, we thank you for that. We know that 557 00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:33,000 Speaker 1: you love us. So we just asked that you'll continue 558 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:37,440 Speaker 1: to show us in ways through our community, through nature, 559 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:41,040 Speaker 1: through the scriptures, that you are here, that you are 560 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:44,840 Speaker 1: close to the broken hearted, and that when we see 561 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,200 Speaker 1: you face to face God, we will be satisfied. And 562 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:49,600 Speaker 1: we just can't wait for that day. Amen. 563 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:52,640 Speaker 2: Amen, Well, Cherry, thank you for helping us in our 564 00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 2: grief and moving beyond. I don't know what to say. 565 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,160 Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Thank you so much for listening 566 00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:01,920 Speaker 2: to the Love Offering podcast. I hope today's conversation encouraged 567 00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:04,400 Speaker 2: you to love God, love others, and even love yourself 568 00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,520 Speaker 2: with greater grace, even in the midst of grief. If 569 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:09,520 Speaker 2: you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend 570 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,360 Speaker 2: and leave review. It helps others find the show and 571 00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:14,360 Speaker 2: spreads the message of love even further. To connect with me, 572 00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:17,040 Speaker 2: visit me on my website at Rachelcadams dot com, where 573 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:19,800 Speaker 2: you can download the Love Always Devotional, a free resource 574 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,760 Speaker 2: that encourages you to realize how beloved you already are. 575 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:25,320 Speaker 2: Be sure to connect with Sherry Fletcher and explore her 576 00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:28,040 Speaker 2: meaningful resources designed to help you love others well in 577 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:31,280 Speaker 2: seasons of grief. A special thank you to Life Audio 578 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:34,160 Speaker 2: for supporting this podcast and making it possible to find 579 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,960 Speaker 2: more great podcasts visit lifeaudio dot com. Thanks again for 580 00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,920 Speaker 2: joining us today. Until next time, let's make our lives 581 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,360 Speaker 2: an offering of love.