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Speaker 1: Welcome to Christian Parent Crazy World, the podcast that tackles

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Speaker 1: tough topics to help you be a godly parent in

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Speaker 1: an ungodly world.

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Speaker 2: I am your host, Catherine Seekers, and in today's episode,

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Speaker 2: we will tackle this vitally important question, how do we

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Speaker 2: become overcomers in the most devastating seasons of life instead

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Speaker 2: of becoming bitter, broken, or stuck? Because if we follow

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Speaker 2: God for any length of time, we will eventually walk

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Speaker 2: through seasons that shake us, seasons where our plans fall apart,

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Speaker 2: our hearts break, and the future looks nothing like we expected.

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Speaker 2: And in those moments, the real question becomes this, will

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Speaker 2: this season pull us.

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Speaker 3: Away from God?

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Speaker 2: Or will it press us deeper into Him? Today we

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Speaker 2: are continuing our powerful conversation with doctor Aaron Berry, shifting

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Speaker 2: from merely surviving life's curveball seasons to discovering how God

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Speaker 2: meets us right in the middle of them and uses

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Speaker 2: them to transform us. Together, We're going to talk about

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Speaker 2: what it means to wrestle with God the way Jacob did,

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Speaker 2: honestly bringing him our pain, our anger, and questions while

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Speaker 2: still refusing to let go of his goodness.

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Speaker 3: And Aaron will share some.

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Speaker 2: Deeply practical biblical ways to navigate gut wrenching seasons so

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Speaker 2: that our faith doesn't collapse under the weight of these seasons,

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Speaker 2: but grow stronger through them, so we don't just survive,

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Speaker 2: we overcome. If you're in a hard place right now,

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Speaker 2: this episode is for you, and that's the ground we

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Speaker 2: will cover in this episode of Christian Parent Crazy World.

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Speaker 2: So let's get started. Sometimes the most dangerous part of

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Speaker 2: a devastating season isn't the loss itself. It's what quietly

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Speaker 2: starts growing in our hearts afterward. Resentment, fear, blame, shame, exhaustion, regret,

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Speaker 2: a low grade anger that we don't quite know what

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Speaker 2: to do with. When the wind gets knocked out of

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Speaker 2: you by loss or sickness or betrayal, a prodigal season

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Speaker 2: with your child, you don't just need comfort, you need direction.

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Speaker 2: You need to know where to put the pain so

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Speaker 2: it doesn't poison you. You need to know how to

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Speaker 2: process anger without sinning in it, and you need to

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Speaker 2: know how to grieve deeply while holding on to hope.

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Speaker 2: That's what overcoming actually looks like, not pretending you're fine,

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Speaker 2: not slapping a Bible verse on a broken heart, but

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Speaker 2: learning how to walk through the fire without letting it

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Speaker 2: consume your faith. And that's why I am so grateful

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Speaker 2: to have doctor Aaron Berry with us again today. Aaron

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Speaker 2: is a counselor, an author, speaker, and educational consultant with

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Speaker 2: decades of experience helping individuals and families navigate life's most

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Speaker 2: disorienting seasons. She co founded The Home Educated Mind with

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Speaker 2: her husband, Brett, and she brings both clinical wisdom and

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Speaker 2: deep biblical grounding to everything she teaches. More personally, she

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Speaker 2: has been a steady voice of truth in my own

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Speaker 2: hardest season. So today we're gonna get very real, very raw,

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Speaker 2: very honest, and ohso practical. And by the way, I

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Speaker 2: have a very special message at the end of our

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Speaker 2: conversation that I know is gonna bless you, so be

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Speaker 2: sure to stick around for that. So that said, let's

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Speaker 2: jump right in, doctor Aaron Berry. Welcome back to Christian

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Speaker 2: parent Crazy World.

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Speaker 4: Thank you, Catherine. It's all. It's a pleasure.

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Speaker 2: It is such a pleasure to have you here. My

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Speaker 2: listeners know if they tuned in last weekend, If you didn't,

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Speaker 2: who was that good? All I can say is it

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Speaker 2: was golden, so much rich, golden wisdom that you imparted

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Speaker 2: to us about dealing with challenging seasons in our lives.

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Speaker 2: We talked about the importance of finding those people, those

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Speaker 2: kind of people that are good with a counseling spirit

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Speaker 2: or either find finding a good Christian counselor. I would

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Speaker 2: highly recommend that. But if you don't have that, finding

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Speaker 2: those friends that are able to help you sit, just

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Speaker 2: sit with you to process the grief of what you're

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Speaker 2: going through. And then in turn the key part of worship.

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Speaker 2: We want other people to come into our presence and

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Speaker 2: to help us process that. But then really focusing on worship,

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Speaker 2: going into the presence of God, because in that presence,

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Speaker 2: in that place of worship, God will give us the

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Speaker 2: right perspective. And then we also talked about really focusing

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Speaker 2: in on what is true about our situation, what is true.

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Speaker 3: Don't go down that rabbit trail.

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Speaker 2: The enemy will get you on the rabbit trail. This

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Speaker 2: is what's coming down the pike if you don't you

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Speaker 2: know all of the what IF's, the what IF's, And

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Speaker 2: I think I heard C. S. Lewis talk about this.

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Speaker 2: The enemy always wants you dealing dealing in the future

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Speaker 2: or the past, the past, which you can't change it.

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Speaker 2: The future I can't really affect it. So we talked

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Speaker 2: about that. We got to stay rooted in the present

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Speaker 2: and answer the question what is true? What is true

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Speaker 2: about my circumstances, but even more importantly, what is true

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Speaker 2: about God?

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Speaker 4: Right?

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Speaker 2: And that is that He is good even in hard circumstances.

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Speaker 2: That's where we do. We spend a lot of time.

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Speaker 2: What do we do when you know the situation isn't good. Actually,

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Speaker 2: one of my most famous pieces I actually or viral

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Speaker 2: pieces I ever wrote, was a piece called God is good,

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Speaker 2: but this isn't And I wrote that actually after a

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Speaker 2: very dear friend, a mother of five, had cancer. For sure,

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Speaker 2: homeschooling mom of five, all in the home like, sure,

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Speaker 2: God's that's she's going to be healed. She was believing

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Speaker 2: for healing. We were all interceeding. That did not happen.

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Speaker 2: God is still good. And we talked about situations, how

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Speaker 2: God has brought great so much goodness out of hard situations,

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Speaker 2: especially Jesus. His death on the cross was the most

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Speaker 2: horrific crime of all of human history, and yet God

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Speaker 2: brought the greatest good out of that situation. So that

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Speaker 2: is a brief, very brief recap. Please go check it out.

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Speaker 2: Just tell our listeners again a little bit about who

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Speaker 2: you are. You were my very first guest on this show,

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Speaker 2: doctor Aaron Barry. You had your masters in counseling. Then

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Speaker 2: you were so inspired. I guess from our conversation you

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Speaker 2: went and got your masters. Yes that's not how that

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Speaker 2: went down, but you did. Sorry, you went and got

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Speaker 2: your doctorate. Now you have your doctorate in Christian counseling.

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Speaker 2: So tell us a little bit about you again, and

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Speaker 2: let's dive in to these ways to handle these challenging

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Speaker 2: situations that we encounter in life.

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Speaker 4: Sure, yeah, no, I'm doctor Aaron Barry. So funny you're

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Speaker 4: laughing at calling yourself that, Yeah, it's so funny. I'm

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Speaker 4: clinical Christian counseling. That's where I spend most of my time.

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Speaker 4: But as I said, I'm married to Brett Berry, three

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Speaker 4: adult kids, two grandchildren. Spend most of my time working

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Speaker 4: with clients, either pouncing and or education because spent many

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Speaker 4: years comestibling my kids. I am an author.

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Speaker 3: I have a book.

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Speaker 4: Yes you can homeschool just all those things. Yeah, that's me.

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Speaker 2: I need to get that one. I don't think I've

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Speaker 2: read that book from you. I know I can't have

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Speaker 2: been doing it for a dozen years, but there are

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Speaker 2: some times where I'm like, why am I doing this? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yes I can, Yes, I can, so keep going. We

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Speaker 2: had just such a rich conversation. Man, it was amazing,

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Speaker 2: and we just ran out of time in the last episode.

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Speaker 2: But we any thoughts on last episode and then let's

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Speaker 2: dive in. You've got some other principles of things that

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Speaker 2: we need to do when we're going through these difficult

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Speaker 2: and challenging plot twist seasons which all of you don't

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Speaker 2: get through parents, you don't get through life. You don't

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Speaker 2: have to be a parent for this to happen. But

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Speaker 2: I think parenting invites a lot of other plot trests

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Speaker 2: things oh that singlehood does not.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, so I think I would just yeah this

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Speaker 4: start again to say I think one of the biggest

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Speaker 4: pieces is loss and grief yep, and in a tragic

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Speaker 4: situation and what's not so tragic? And I love I

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Speaker 4: had to quote from C. S. Lewis that says change

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Speaker 4: always involves a sense of loss.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it does.

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Speaker 4: And I think that's really important because we aren't good grievers,

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Speaker 4: you know, one thing I love about I love reading

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Speaker 4: the Bible. In Israel life, they tear their clothes and

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Speaker 4: rip out their hair, and they to wail when I

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Speaker 4: think about I want you to know I'm in pain.

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Speaker 4: I've got these people behind me wailing.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 4: No, my life will never be the same. Your life

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Speaker 4: is going on, but I want you to know my

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Speaker 4: life will never be the same. And anyway, I feel

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Speaker 4: like grief and loss is such a big part of

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Speaker 4: life experience, but something we don't we talked about that

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Speaker 4: don't allow people to do, and we don't even acknowledge it.

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Speaker 4: And so, like I said, even a good change involves loss.

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Speaker 3: It does.

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Speaker 2: Like you get married, but that's the loss of your

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Speaker 2: singlehood or your singleness, and if you're leaving like your

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Speaker 2: parents home at the same time, like our pastor's oldest

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Speaker 2: daughter right now, she's getting married, but she's still at home.

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Speaker 2: She's and I think she's twenty years old, but she's

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Speaker 2: still at home with her family. But she's going into

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Speaker 2: a beautiful, wonderful, exciting, incredible new season. And yet she's

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Speaker 2: leaving her childhood, she's leaving her parents. And so there's

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Speaker 2: even a good new season involves loss and that's what

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Speaker 2: we're coming into with our move. We talked a lot

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Speaker 2: about my situation at the beginning of the last episode.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, there's a lot of loss involved with the

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Speaker 2: good things that God is doing for us with this

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Speaker 2: new job and this moving back to Music City, USA,

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Speaker 2: Go Preds. There's a lot of good things, which, by

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Speaker 2: the way, my husband's job has a suite there, so

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Speaker 2: I'm hoping that we can do season Preds came. So

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Speaker 2: that's one good thing as the loss of likely you know,

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Speaker 2: at least one, if not two Seegers kids empty nesting. Suddenly.

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Speaker 2: I saw that, just I saw that very differently in

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Speaker 2: my mind. I envisioned it happening very very slowly, and

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Speaker 2: you know, hey, we're getting together for coffee and you're

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Speaker 2: coming over for dinner several times a week. No, that's

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Speaker 2: not how this appears to be happening. And so keep

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Speaker 2: going there. We started off with what is true? We

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Speaker 2: covered that last episode, any brief thoughts on that again,

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Speaker 2: and then we can keep going.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, no, just that when you're basic difficulty, your mind

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Speaker 4: has we tend to, you know, catastrophically think about everything

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Speaker 4: in our mind goes this will happen now that means this,

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Speaker 4: and we just get our foundation gets so shaken and

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Speaker 4: we have to pull it back to what is true,

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Speaker 4: what is true now, and what is true about God

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Speaker 4: and stay there and then take the next day what

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Speaker 4: is true about God and what is true now? Yeah,

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Speaker 4: so that's a very grounding and important principle. But I

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Speaker 4: was just going to say I I just again just

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Speaker 4: to say that I think loss and grief are so

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Speaker 4: important and to recognize, yeah, all change, good and bad,

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Speaker 4: since it gives us loss. But then the other thing

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Speaker 4: is what you said right, there is unmet expectations. We

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Speaker 4: have these, we all do it. You know. It's sitting

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Speaker 4: with a client the other day and she was talking

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Speaker 4: about her boyfriend and you know, in her twenties, adorable,

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Speaker 4: but she was just sharing some things about their relationship

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Speaker 4: and it was her expectation that he wasn't meeting. But

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Speaker 4: her expectation was Hallmark. And listen, I love Hallmark, but

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Speaker 4: you have a real man you're in a real relationship

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Speaker 4: with and you need to know him and you need

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Speaker 4: to receive the way that he gives love and you

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Speaker 4: need to give up you know that way you so

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Speaker 4: you could miss because she was so upset ready.

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Speaker 3: To ditch the guy.

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Speaker 4: Really, yes, Oh and I and she's not the first.

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Speaker 4: I see this a lot as kind of interesting to me.

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Speaker 4: But anyway, that's another topic.

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Speaker 2: But that's a big one. Though. I did a whole

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Speaker 2: positive for just a second because I this true story.

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Speaker 2: I worked years on an article that had to do

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Speaker 2: with feminism and those kind of you know, women's issues

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Speaker 2: and things like that, feminism in the church and stuff.

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Speaker 2: Years on the research for that, and it did okay,

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Speaker 2: it didn't do great. And at the time they were

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Speaker 2: coming up on what it counted down to Christmas, that's

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Speaker 2: what they call their big count, and I was reading

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Speaker 2: online that they get eighty million viewers right during that

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Speaker 2: time season. So I'm like, okay, thinking analytically, let's go

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Speaker 2: to the well that they draw from. So I wrote

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Speaker 2: an article on It was on Hallmark Films, you know,

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Speaker 2: five Reasons I can't remember what my title was. They

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Speaker 2: put one of these, like, you know, more clickbait titles

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Speaker 2: like Hallmark Films five Reasons to be cautious or you

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Speaker 2: know something something you know kind of a little salatious

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Speaker 2: about it and so, and honestly, it was tongue in

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Speaker 2: cheek I have in the past, you know, I try to.

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Speaker 2: I like to watch some of the ones on Great

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Speaker 2: American Family. Now they're a little more in line with

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Speaker 2: my values. But I think we all actually go to

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Speaker 2: those to escape. We go to escape the difficult plot

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Speaker 2: twist seasons of our life which we're talking about. But

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Speaker 2: there's actual harm done there. Oh yeah, there's actual, real,

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Speaker 2: legitimate harm when we get this idea that life is

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Speaker 2: supposed to be like Hallmark because anything bad that happened

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Speaker 2: in a Hallmark film happened in the past, and they're

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Speaker 2: kind of over it. Yeah, you might deal with a widow,

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Speaker 2: but very rarely do they ever get into the nitty

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Speaker 2: gritty of all the pain involved with that. And usually

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Speaker 2: it's just happy, really impossibly good looking people that all

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Speaker 2: happened to live right near each other. It's really obnoxious.

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Speaker 2: And there's a Hallmark theology every single film, follow your heart,

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Speaker 2: your heart, So there's there's real damage done. And in

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Speaker 2: one of the biggest heartaches that I went through, there

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Speaker 2: was something that tragic happened to a child.

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Speaker 4: Here.

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Speaker 2: Before I get to that, let me just say that

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Speaker 2: that article went viral like hundreds of thousands down like

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Speaker 2: all of these people. I'm like, it was actually really

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Speaker 2: really smart that I did the article, and I did

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Speaker 2: try to put some you know, some good truths in there.

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Speaker 2: But I wrote kind of a follow up It's like,

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Speaker 2: why why do we gravitate towards these things? And there

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Speaker 2: was a horrific tragedy that happened in our city involving

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Speaker 2: a child, the kind of thing that just everybody was

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Speaker 2: talking about it, and it did not end well. I

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Speaker 2: won't go into the details. It did not end well.

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Speaker 2: And I can remember just crying my guts out. I

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Speaker 2: was at the kitchen sink washing dishes, crying my guts out,

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Speaker 2: and I screamed at the top of my lungs. I

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Speaker 2: want to live in a Hallmark film because I wanted

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Speaker 2: to live in a place where that kind of that

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Speaker 2: doesn't happen in a Hallmark film. And we encounter seasons

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Speaker 2: in life that do not happen in Hallmark films, whether

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Speaker 2: that's the young married couple who wait marriage doesn't look

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Speaker 2: like because they stop at the wedding, they don't go

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Speaker 2: out and past the wedding or not usually and so

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Speaker 2: so Hallmark just does a disservice in that, and I

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Speaker 2: get it. I'm not saying it's I liken it to

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Speaker 2: eating a little bit of junk food. Okay, in moderation,

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Speaker 2: maybe it's okay to just kind of escape or let

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Speaker 2: your mind get off of But that's why we gravitate

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Speaker 2: towards it, because we have these horrific, hard seasons of

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Speaker 2: life and we and we go to that. But if

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Speaker 2: our expectation is something like that. And one of the

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Speaker 2: things I put at the end of the follow up

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Speaker 2: I think it was an episode I did on it.

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Speaker 2: Actually it was a blog I wrote. It was just like, actually,

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Speaker 2: I really don't want to live in a Hallmark film

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Speaker 2: because nothing is real there. We're not dealing with it.

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Speaker 2: We never learn any kind of strength to overcome obstacles

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Speaker 2: because they don't really exist. The worst obstacles are usually very,

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Speaker 2: very silly in those films. So anyways, I just wanted

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Speaker 2: to add that in there. Any other thoughts on that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Well, what I was going to say is there's

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Speaker 4: a difference between going for entertainment. When I watch a

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Speaker 4: Hallmark movie, I know it's not real. Yes, I don't

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Speaker 4: for a moment think oh that's real. I just enjoy

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Speaker 4: the bad acting. I enjoy I just enjoy it. But

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Speaker 4: what I see is these young people they don't know

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Speaker 4: the reality. So that's where the problem comes in. So

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Speaker 4: then they expect that I know.

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Speaker 2: And I'm afraid we're raising a generation that doesn't know that.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes on a steady diet of that, that kind of

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Speaker 2: Hallmark theology seeping into the church, it's dangerous. So you're right,

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Speaker 2: we if we go to it with the right perspective,

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Speaker 2: it doesn't necessarily do damage. But if we have that

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Speaker 2: expectation in life, then we're going to be sorely disappointed.

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Speaker 2: And honestly, I did some episodes on the attractional model church.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes we're kind of that seeker friendly or that prosperity

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Speaker 2: gospel stuff. It seeped into our theology and an Americanized

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Speaker 2: version of the church, and it's dangerous because life people

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Speaker 2: bail on the faith when they're like, God doesn't act

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Speaker 2: the way we expect him to, and if he exists

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Speaker 2: in a Hallmark film, he is a periphery, he is

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Speaker 2: not central. That's another problem we have with it. Anyways,

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Speaker 2: keep going.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but going back, so it's the unmet expectation, yes,

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Speaker 4: and then we judge our life on that rather than recognizing, Okay,

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Speaker 4: this expectation isn't being met, but what is? And so

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Speaker 4: with this particular client, for example, I was just saying, well,

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Speaker 4: who are you loving? Who do you have before you?

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Speaker 4: How is what is really being offered to you? And

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Speaker 4: enter into that love and you've got something wonderful, you know,

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Speaker 4: if that's what you choose. And so I think a

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Speaker 4: lot of times our when we hit a crisis or

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Speaker 4: we hit a season, it's we didn't expect it. And

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Speaker 4: you said it yourself. You didn't expect to have your

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Speaker 4: to so abruptly have your to exit, yes, you know.

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Speaker 4: And I think then it's like, well what did I expect?

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Speaker 4: And it's you know what? It goes back to grieving

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Speaker 4: the loss of what you thought, yes, and then accepting

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Speaker 4: what is. And a lot of times we don't really

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Speaker 4: see the good of what's being, what we're getting until

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Speaker 4: as it passes, like as time passes a bit to

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Speaker 4: remind ourselves time as a friend. And then another piece

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Speaker 4: I wanted to go what we mentioned last time we

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Speaker 4: talked about Job's wife saying purse God and die. A

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Speaker 4: lot of people give Job's wife a really hard time.

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Speaker 4: The reality is she has no power no control and

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Speaker 4: she's lost everything, job has lost. Yes, and she goes

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Speaker 4: to the right place in the sense that she goes

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Speaker 4: to God.

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Speaker 2: Yes.

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Speaker 4: And when you're grieving, you anger, disappointment, frustrated, it's all there.

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Speaker 4: But that's when we want to go to the Lord.

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Speaker 4: That's the right place. Now, don't curse him, but we

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Speaker 4: go to him with our anger, with our emotions. He

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Speaker 4: can handle it. That is the right place to process

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Speaker 4: where you don't want to go alcohol, drugs, sex, whatever,

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Speaker 4: or throw caution to the wind. Sometimes people when they hurt,

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Speaker 4: they say, well, I'm not going to to hold you know,

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Speaker 4: the right boundaries in life. You're supposed to go to

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Speaker 4: the Lord. That's where the psalms are incredible, because you've

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Speaker 4: got those feelings, they're legitimate and God can handle them.

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Speaker 4: So that's a little bit of that piece. But also

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Speaker 4: that unmet expectations and then just grieving that loss and

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Speaker 4: gaining new expectations, seeing the newness, and sometimes that takes time.

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Speaker 2: Oh so well, so well said, I wanted to well

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Speaker 2: first off, Psalm sixty two five through eight. That's one

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Speaker 2: of my favorite portions of scripture.

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Speaker 3: To pour out.

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Speaker 2: Your heart to him. God is your refuge. It talks

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Speaker 2: about just him being the place that we go to

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Speaker 2: and he can handle your anger. Yeah, but what we

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Speaker 2: need to do is start to learn to channel that

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Speaker 2: anger towards the right source. Did God cause the loss?

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Speaker 2: Right now? The hard part of that is knowing he's

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Speaker 2: all powerful, he can prevent things. He doesn't. I don't

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Speaker 2: think he causes birth defects.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 2: I had the blessing of talking to Nick Voichichich born

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Speaker 2: with no arms, no legs. I think I have an

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Speaker 2: upcoming interview with him again on his new book, No Arms,

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Speaker 2: No Legs, and he is so powerful, and he said

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Speaker 2: God didn't cause this. God didn't cause these birth defects.

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Speaker 2: So I think we need to have a righteous indignation.

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Speaker 2: I can remember very clearly when I suffered the miscarriage

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Speaker 2: of the child I knew was promised to me. I

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Speaker 2: got angry, I got righteously angry, and I felt a holy,

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Speaker 2: righteous indignation in me because God is angry at loss.

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Speaker 2: God doesn't like it either, But the ramifications of our

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Speaker 2: free will make this a world where loss happens and

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Speaker 2: God uses loss. One other thing, I wanted to go

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Speaker 2: to one other source before we move on one of

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Speaker 2: my favorite poets, my daughter, my oldest daughter's named Afton

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Speaker 2: sweet Aften, and I've been quoting this so much later

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Speaker 2: talk about you talk about unmet expectations. He has this

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Speaker 2: wonderful line. It takes place in a poem about a mouse.

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Speaker 2: It's this farmer who's out there and he's tilling up

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Speaker 2: the soil and there was this beautiful little house that

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Speaker 2: the mouse had, and he dislodges the house that the

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Speaker 2: mouse scampers off, but turns around to look at the farmer,

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Speaker 2: and there's this line in the poem. It says, the

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Speaker 2: best laid plans of mice and men oft go awry,

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Speaker 2: but leave us nothing but grief and pain for promised joy.

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Speaker 2: So we have these unmet expectations, right, And whether we're

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Speaker 2: a mouse or a man, we all have these expectations

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Speaker 2: of what life is supposed to go like. And then

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Speaker 2: those unmet expectations, those plot twists, challenging season come along

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Speaker 2: and it didn't go that way. It didn't go that way,

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Speaker 2: and that does leave grief and pain. So we've talked

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Speaker 2: about how we need to sit in the grief and pain.

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Speaker 2: We need to find other people who can sit in

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Speaker 2: the grief and pain with us and then help us

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Speaker 2: move to a place where we're able to focus on

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Speaker 2: what is true in that situation.

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Speaker 4: Well, and I was gonna say too, and you hit

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Speaker 4: on it that the beauty of the psalms is they

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Speaker 4: never stay angry at God.

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Speaker 3: No, they don't.

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Speaker 2: There's always a turn.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, the psalmist usually turns and sees God's goodness

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Speaker 4: and that's why they're helpful. And that's the other piece.

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Speaker 4: So you have this grief and pain, you have these

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Speaker 4: unmet expectations you and where you're sitting, but then it

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Speaker 4: turns and you end up actually being grateful. Like gratefulness

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Speaker 4: is another piece, because your whole life isn't a mess.

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Speaker 4: There are things that are still worth being grateful. And

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Speaker 4: I find this also myself, like if I have a

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Speaker 4: petition with the Lord, I'm always like, now, Lord, I

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Speaker 4: know I can't complain because you did this, this and

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Speaker 4: this this.

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Speaker 2: But no.

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Speaker 4: But but I think that's another piece that the psalms

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Speaker 4: help us to express those emotions but then come back

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Speaker 4: out because even when things are difficult, maybe not at

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Speaker 4: the crisis moment, but as time goes on, there are

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Speaker 4: things to be grateful for there are good things that

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Speaker 4: come out of it. There are new paths and new

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Speaker 4: things just that are birthed through the process. And so

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Speaker 4: that's where those palms help. And then that, like I say,

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Speaker 4: that comes out to that gratitude, and it's not it's

433
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:36,800
Speaker 4: not a fake gratitude. It's it's truly what are what

434
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:40,119
Speaker 4: can you be? What are you grateful for? You know?

435
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:43,199
Speaker 4: Our family is here together. I know, you know, I

436
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,160
Speaker 4: know with Brooks my son when he had the type

437
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 4: one diabetes, he didn't go into a coma. Some people

438
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:53,040
Speaker 4: go into a coma. You know, God, in his grace

439
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 4: we intervene, like we found out in time and you

440
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:01,400
Speaker 4: know what I mean, like God's hand God walked beside us.

441
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 3: Right, we didn't.

442
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,680
Speaker 4: Necessarily get out of that situation, but you can see

443
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 4: where God's hand is there. And I think that's comforting

444
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:14,600
Speaker 4: and helpful too. So recognizing where is not at the

445
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:17,400
Speaker 4: moment of crisis, right, we need our time to process first.

446
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 4: But then afterwards, how was God's hand on this? Where

447
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:25,159
Speaker 4: did he intervene in spare and where we see his

448
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:26,520
Speaker 4: great So I think that matters.

449
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, let me say something on that very quickly. The

450
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:33,359
Speaker 2: concept of the sacrifice of praise comes in here. Yes,

451
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 2: we were supposed to enter his courts with thanksgiving and

452
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:41,439
Speaker 2: his heavenly courtroom with praise. Right, And when life is

453
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 2: going well, that's sometimes easier to do. But when we

454
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:51,200
Speaker 2: have a challenge, when something when we have a devastating diagnosis,

455
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:54,480
Speaker 2: when there's a loss, when there's an accident, that makes

456
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,639
Speaker 2: our praise a sacrifice.

457
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 4: Oh my God, Yes.

458
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 2: And we can't have a sacrifice of praise in the

459
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 2: good times. We can only have the sacrifice of praise

460
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 2: when it's hard. And I think if we could see

461
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 2: it from a heavenly perspective, how beautiful and sweet that

462
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 2: incense is to the Lord when we come to him

463
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 2: and worship and praise, even when it's hard, even when

464
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:21,719
Speaker 2: we're devastated, even when there's extreme loss. Do you know

465
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 2: how if we could see how angry that made the

466
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:31,359
Speaker 2: enemy and how glad that made our Lord, if we

467
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:33,680
Speaker 2: could see it from that perspective, I think we'd see

468
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 2: it very differently. And one other image I want to

469
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 2: put in the minds of my listeners. When I had

470
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:41,919
Speaker 2: a miscarriage. I spoke about that a little bit in

471
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:45,400
Speaker 2: the last episode. I had a miscarriage of a child.

472
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 2: I really believe the Lord had promised us. I believed

473
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 2: he had promised us a fifth child, and we had

474
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 2: I kid you not. We had that miscarriage on Thanksgiving Day.

475
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,880
Speaker 2: Not only did we have it on Thanksgiving Day, we

476
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 2: were set to have our Thanksgiving meal, our feast at

477
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:10,359
Speaker 2: six pm. I started having this miscarriage at five pm.

478
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:12,359
Speaker 2: Now I was early on, so I didn't have to

479
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 2: go to a hospital or anything. It looked more like

480
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:21,480
Speaker 2: a really painful cycle. It was really very difficult physically,

481
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 2: but not one that required hospitalization. So I was literally

482
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:31,120
Speaker 2: able to sit through that Thanksgiving meal while having a miscarriage.

483
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 2: And it was I have a picture of myself. I

484
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 2: actually have a picture of myself at that Thanksgiving table

485
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:43,399
Speaker 2: that is the sacrifice of praise. And I think it

486
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,640
Speaker 2: was significant. I don't think that it could have happened

487
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 2: on Friday, it could have happened on Wednesday. No, it

488
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:54,720
Speaker 2: happened on Thanksgiving Day, twenty fifteen. And I don't think

489
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:58,640
Speaker 2: that that was by chance. God was saying something there.

490
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 2: I still had many I was sitting at a table

491
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 2: with four other kids, praise God. I was sitting with

492
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 2: my family. I had a feast before me, and God

493
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:15,720
Speaker 2: used that moment. And let me tell you, two years later,

494
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,879
Speaker 2: I sat at that same place, at that same table,

495
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 2: holding the promised child. Praise God. I have those pictures.

496
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:26,679
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to post those. Juxtapose those with one another.

497
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 2: I had the promised child two years later, when we

498
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:36,240
Speaker 2: and our deepest and darkest pain can come before the

499
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 2: Lord and say, yes, this hurts, this is hard, but

500
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 2: I still have things to be grateful for, and I'm

501
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:49,640
Speaker 2: thankful for the fact that even though I'm experiencing this loss,

502
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 2: that child is with you, and I will see that

503
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 2: child again, and you are still good, and I will

504
00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 2: thank you in the midst of that. What God can

505
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 2: do from that kind of fruit is he can take

506
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 2: a forty five year old woman and help her to

507
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:09,719
Speaker 2: conceive a promised child, and she can sit at that

508
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 2: table at the age of forty six with that child

509
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 2: in her arms and praise the Lord. He can take

510
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 2: our deepest, darkest moments and do something beautiful with it.

511
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:26,479
Speaker 2: If we will not forget that, we still have reason

512
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 2: to be grateful. If for nothing else, then He has

513
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,000
Speaker 2: saved us and we get to spend eternity with him.

514
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 2: He has saved us. We don't have to die in

515
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 2: our sin.

516
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 4: We have.

517
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 2: A savior. I said that was going to be short.

518
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 2: It wasn't. Sorry, keep going, so we've got be grateful.

519
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 2: I had to put that image there though I've done

520
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 2: a recording on that before, but it was powerful. Powerful.

521
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:53,320
Speaker 2: It happened during Thanksgiving feast that I had a miscarriage,

522
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:56,240
Speaker 2: and it's only in those deep dark moments that were

523
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 2: able to offer the incense of the sacrifice of praise.

524
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 2: It's precious to our heavenly Father and it I'm just

525
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 2: gonna use a bad word. You're sort of pisses off

526
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 2: the enemy like nothing else. And if you want to

527
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 2: piss off the enemy in your life, give them the

528
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 2: sacrifice of praise. When your life goes haywire and you're

529
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 2: in these challenging seasons, because when he can see you

530
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:20,040
Speaker 2: praising him, man, that just pisses them off. Okay, sorry,

531
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:20,800
Speaker 2: go ahead.

532
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 4: B Yeah, what do you say after that? I'm sorry,

533
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 4: that's amazing.

534
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 2: Hey, friends, it's Catherine here. If you're trying to be

535
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:40,880
Speaker 2: a godly parent in this wild and wacky world, you

536
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 2: need all the help you can get, and I've got

537
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,600
Speaker 2: you covered. When you subscribe to my website, you'll get

538
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 2: instant access to tons of free resources made just for

539
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 2: Christian parents. You'll get my Prodigal Bundle, which is packed

540
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:57,480
Speaker 2: with every podcast, article, and scripture list I've created for

541
00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 2: parents walking that tough product road. You'll also get my

542
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 2: free eat book Beyond the Lies and covering five myths

543
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 2: the culture spreads to mothers, plus powerful scripture list Pray

544
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 2: over your kids, and even scripture songs to help your

545
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 2: family hide God's word in your hearts without even trying.

546
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 2: And of course I'll keep you encouraged with my weekly

547
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 2: newsletter full of faith filled PEP talks and outlines of

548
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,200
Speaker 2: what we're tackling each week on the show. So don't

549
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 2: miss out. Head over to Catherine Scars dot com. That's

550
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 2: Catherine Secres dot com and subscribe today. Because Christian parenting

551
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 2: may be crazy, but you don't have to do it alone.

552
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 4: But time was a factor in that too, And I

553
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 4: think that's another thing that because there's two Thanksgivings there.

554
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 2: That was I was pregnant, Yeah, it was pregnant the

555
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:55,520
Speaker 2: next one, and then the next one I was holding her.

556
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 2: So the next season I had her in my belly

557
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,960
Speaker 2: sitting at that table pregnant, and it was a rough

558
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 2: ride to get her here. It was a lot. All

559
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 2: that prayer, let me tell you, all the prayer we did,

560
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 2: it was just necessary. And then the next year I

561
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 2: was holding her at that same spot at the Thanksgiving table.

562
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 4: And a person can't in the there's a crisis time,

563
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:17,520
Speaker 4: and that's like we can't talk about those things at

564
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 4: that crisis time, like you're just getting through. But time

565
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 4: brings you see the hand of God. Yes, thing I

566
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:28,480
Speaker 4: was going to say is when you hit one of

567
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 4: these curve balls, often your identity is shaken. And we

568
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:40,000
Speaker 4: put our identity in so many things. Who am I right,

569
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,320
Speaker 4: I'm this, I'm that, and whatever, and then when a

570
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 4: crisis hits, it's like, well, wait a minute, I'm not

571
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 4: who I thought I was, or I will never be

572
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:54,760
Speaker 4: who I thought I was, or who I was has

573
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 4: ended and now I'm somebody else. And this is where

574
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 4: as Christians, again, our identity is in Christ. We are

575
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:10,000
Speaker 4: children of Christ, and that's again our grounding. That's who

576
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 4: I am, that's not changing regardless of what I do

577
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:18,960
Speaker 4: or don't do. But the reality is as life strikes

578
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:24,560
Speaker 4: and difficulties strike the way we've figured our identity, the

579
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 4: way the world has cast our identity is shaken, and

580
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:31,680
Speaker 4: that's another piece we have to look at, and we

581
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,320
Speaker 4: have to again ground and say who am I really?

582
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 4: And then when our identity is in Christ, then we

583
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 4: can pivot. Then we could be that former person and

584
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:47,480
Speaker 4: now we're now we're this person and it's still good.

585
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:51,480
Speaker 4: But I think that's a really big piece because it

586
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:54,960
Speaker 4: really shakes who we thought we were, who people thought

587
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 4: we were, and will I still be loved and valued

588
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 4: if I'm not those things? So I think that's another

589
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 4: big piece of when you face the curve law.

590
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,799
Speaker 2: I think it's huge. I think it's really huge. You know,

591
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 2: if you unexpectedly find yourself in the middle of a

592
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 2: divorce exactly or God forbid, you know, your spouse passes,

593
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 2: you're no longer a wife, you're no longer a husband.

594
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 2: Or if you're a parent and you go through a

595
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:32,480
Speaker 2: prodigal season that child is distant from you, you're no

596
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 2: longer parenting, you're no longer in relationship or should tragically.

597
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:41,800
Speaker 2: We talked about the beautiful, beautiful legacy of the Ashley

598
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:44,880
Speaker 2: Avril Foundation, who was a young girl. I think we

599
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,279
Speaker 2: talked about in the last episode. She was fourteen when

600
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:51,359
Speaker 2: she passed, and her mother, Melanie Avril, she started this

601
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:55,480
Speaker 2: amazing foundation to sew into the lives of young people

602
00:34:55,640 --> 00:35:00,120
Speaker 2: and help them go on missions around the world. But

603
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 2: what do you do when your child is no longer

604
00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:09,080
Speaker 2: this side of heaven? And so your identity really shows,

605
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:12,240
Speaker 2: and as much as we try not to, our identity

606
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:15,600
Speaker 2: is shaped like just maybe it's something more minor. Maybe

607
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:18,440
Speaker 2: your metrics changed. Like we've been talking about my metrics

608
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:21,240
Speaker 2: and stuff and some things that some numbers that should

609
00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:23,560
Speaker 2: be one place and now they're in another place. And

610
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 2: I'm like, wait, how does that? I thought I was

611
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:29,400
Speaker 2: successful here? How am I measuring success? If I'm measuring

612
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 2: it by the world standard, then my identity is.

613
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:32,600
Speaker 3: Shaken, right.

614
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 4: Well. We had a neighbor whose desire was to be

615
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:40,880
Speaker 4: a firefighter, and so he was going through the training.

616
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:45,160
Speaker 4: It was something he had desired his whole life. And

617
00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:48,759
Speaker 4: then he got an accident and hurt his leg and

618
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:55,239
Speaker 4: he can walk, but he can be a firefighter. So there,

619
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:58,319
Speaker 4: so much of his identity was in this is what

620
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 4: I'll be, this is what I'll do, and that's no

621
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 4: longer available. And then like you said, you know I

622
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 4: perceived this was success. Well now I'm not so am

623
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:12,480
Speaker 4: I not? But that's the beauty of Christ is we

624
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:16,400
Speaker 4: can then get our identity is there, and our value

625
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:18,959
Speaker 4: is not determined by who we are what we do.

626
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:20,920
Speaker 4: It is by you know what I'm saying, not by

627
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 4: what we do, who we are, and that can be

628
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 4: in many different that can be expressed in many different ways.

629
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 4: If we don't. As a culture, we struggle with that,

630
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,280
Speaker 4: right very much. So as we say this is success,

631
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:38,840
Speaker 4: this isn't success, this is good, this isn't good. You're valuable,

632
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:39,960
Speaker 4: You're not valuable?

633
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:40,720
Speaker 3: Right.

634
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 4: I want to tell you so my father had dementia,

635
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:51,520
Speaker 4: and you know that was really really difficult. But he

636
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:53,360
Speaker 4: was in the home. He was in a nursing home

637
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:57,279
Speaker 4: and struggling at this point, this was later on and

638
00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:01,080
Speaker 4: in his ability to speak. And so my sister was

639
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:03,840
Speaker 4: with him, and there was another lady in the nursing

640
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:06,840
Speaker 4: home and she was shaking her glasses and making sounds

641
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:10,879
Speaker 4: like uh, you know, and my sister she said, here,

642
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:13,000
Speaker 4: I was one hundred. You know, I've got my full

643
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 4: faculty mentally, and I'm just kind of thinking this woman's annoying,

644
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:24,279
Speaker 4: frustrated by her whatever, and my father, who doesn't have

645
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 4: all his faculties, stopped and went over to her and

646
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,640
Speaker 4: took her glasses out of her hand and gave them

647
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 4: to my sister to clean. Like he motioned, you know,

648
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:40,520
Speaker 4: clean them. So my sister cleaned her glasses, and then

649
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 4: he put the glasses on her and she calmed down.

650
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,840
Speaker 4: Now the reason I share that is my dad is

651
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 4: in a nursing home with out as full capacity as

652
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 4: a child of God. He still has the power to

653
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:03,239
Speaker 4: make a difference and to serve. And his identity is

654
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:07,799
Speaker 4: not a man with dementia, fully you know what I mean.

655
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:11,920
Speaker 4: He's connected to the spirit and he still has purpose

656
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:18,520
Speaker 4: yes being alive, even though that would not be highly

657
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:22,120
Speaker 4: honored in society. And like my sister said, I didn't

658
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:26,680
Speaker 4: have the ability to see the need. So I think

659
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:30,719
Speaker 4: it's a very hard thing to manage. But it's to

660
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:37,560
Speaker 4: recognize our identity in Christ, our value, and it's all

661
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:42,440
Speaker 4: the way through, you know. But in a crisis that

662
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 4: is shaken.

663
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:48,120
Speaker 2: It absolutely is. And I would go so far as

664
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:52,240
Speaker 2: to say, because really are are false identities those things

665
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 2: that we place our value in that are not of God.

666
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:57,680
Speaker 2: Maybe they're good things, maybe they're not good things, but

667
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 2: what we place our value in those and become idols

668
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 2: in our life? And God will shake our false identities.

669
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:12,280
Speaker 2: And often he uses these crisis situations, these crisis seasons,

670
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 2: these plot twists, that's what he uses to challenge our

671
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:20,239
Speaker 2: false identities because they come crashing down. Is your identity

672
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:22,799
Speaker 2: and your numbers? Is your identity and your success? Is

673
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:26,240
Speaker 2: your identity in this role? Is it in anything other

674
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:30,960
Speaker 2: than being my child? Because it's just as sure as

675
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 2: you and I are said you're talking today, all of

676
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:36,239
Speaker 2: us will go through seasons where He will shake our

677
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:40,919
Speaker 2: identity when it's placed in anything other than him, even

678
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:43,480
Speaker 2: if it's a good thing, because like praise God, I

679
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 2: have an amazing husband, but my identity has been shaken

680
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 2: right now in this season for the next ten months

681
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:53,239
Speaker 2: as he's living three hours north because the burden, the

682
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:57,760
Speaker 2: weight of all of the responsibility without him here, it's heavy.

683
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:01,640
Speaker 2: It's heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, So he's shaking all of this,

684
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 2: He's shaking it. And again, going back to the episode

685
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:08,440
Speaker 2: I did recently on what is he producing in these seasons?

686
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:11,280
Speaker 2: What is the purpose and the pain and the shaking

687
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 2: it's to shake loose the stuff, the stuff that we

688
00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:18,279
Speaker 2: don't need, and it's to produce the fruit that we

689
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 2: do need to go where he wants us to go.

690
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:24,879
Speaker 2: And if our identity is anything other than him, then

691
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 2: that is going to get in the way of what

692
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 2: our calling and our purpose. So yes, it will happen

693
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:33,239
Speaker 2: to all of us at some point. The question is

694
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:34,960
Speaker 2: where do we go? Where do we go?

695
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:41,040
Speaker 4: And we go to that place. I am valuable just

696
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:41,840
Speaker 4: as your child.

697
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:42,760
Speaker 2: Amen.

698
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 4: The last one that I want to say about, just

699
00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 4: then we can move to some practical things is fear

700
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:53,319
Speaker 4: versus faith. And it's interesting to me. There was that

701
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,799
Speaker 4: old movie, you know, Pollyanna, that said there were three

702
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 4: hundred and sixty five verses. There are not I've looked

703
00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 4: up there. That's not true. Some translations there's four hundred verses.

704
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 4: Some translations more where it says either fear not or

705
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:12,560
Speaker 4: do not fear, or it speaks to fear. But I

706
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:14,959
Speaker 4: like the idea of there's one for every day, three sixty.

707
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 4: But fear, I mean fear. When a crisis hits, we

708
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:27,960
Speaker 4: are afraid. Fear paralyzes, fear steals our hope. Fear it

709
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 4: can take us out. And I think the other thing

710
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:35,040
Speaker 4: is to just to keep having faith and hope, even

711
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:40,320
Speaker 4: even though it may not you may not even believe it.

712
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:44,240
Speaker 4: It's always there. There's always hope, and to walk in faith.

713
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:48,280
Speaker 4: And I think God knows. The fear is that enemy

714
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:53,160
Speaker 4: constantly telling us that yeah, it's over, there's that's it.

715
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 4: But there's always faith. We have faith because there's always

716
00:41:57,239 --> 00:42:00,840
Speaker 4: hope things we've hoped for and haven't seen, and to

717
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:05,000
Speaker 4: hold out that things may not look like we expected,

718
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:09,360
Speaker 4: but that doesn't mean it's over. God has something new.

719
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:14,920
Speaker 4: God has a different direction, and we find the goodness

720
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:16,560
Speaker 4: in that, in the goodness of Him.

721
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 2: So I would say that absolutely, uh, that is so good.

722
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 2: I thought of the version the man who brings the

723
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 2: child to Jesus, who's the theme of possessed. I believe,

724
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,480
Speaker 2: help my unbelief, and that it's okay to be in

725
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 2: that place where you were saying, I believe God all

726
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:34,320
Speaker 2: I really want to believe.

727
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:36,880
Speaker 3: Help my unbelief.

728
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 2: And sometimes we get people with Pollyanna kind of figure

729
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:47,800
Speaker 2: excessive yeah yeah to our situations and and they don't help.

730
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:49,920
Speaker 2: By the way, shout out to Haley Mills. I was

731
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 2: a huge Haley Mills fans the actress who played Pollyanna,

732
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 2: And I'm in a bit of a argument with my

733
00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:58,560
Speaker 2: youngest child right now. Which is the best Parent Trap?

734
00:42:58,640 --> 00:42:59,959
Speaker 2: She was in the original Parent Trap?

735
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:01,719
Speaker 4: Oh, yes, I've seen them both.

736
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:04,480
Speaker 2: I love the original one and she loves the new

737
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 2: one with Lindsay Lohand it is good, It's really good.

738
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:08,879
Speaker 2: But I am a purist. I was a huge Hailey

739
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 2: Mills fan. Sorry add moment there, but that Pollyanna kind

740
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 2: of mentality can can be very destructive in our face.

741
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:19,600
Speaker 2: You know, when we get friends that are speaking certain

742
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:23,720
Speaker 2: things over us and just bumper sticker through bumper sticker

743
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 2: kind of remedies for what we're going through. The fear

744
00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:29,759
Speaker 2: is real, but we always have to recognize, Okay, where

745
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 2: does fear come from? It never ever ever comes from God.

746
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:38,160
Speaker 2: If you if you're experiencing a spirit of fear, and

747
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 2: I can feel it come over me, man, it is

748
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:43,319
Speaker 2: so it is so heavy, and it is and when

749
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:47,479
Speaker 2: you're disoriented in one of these challenging seasons, you're going

750
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 2: through grief, you're going through loss, the next thing that

751
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,919
Speaker 2: comes in is fear. And it's like we talked about

752
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:54,480
Speaker 2: the rabbit trails. You know, well, this and this and this,

753
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 2: and rarely do those outcomes actually happen, but sometimes they do.

754
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:03,479
Speaker 2: Sometimes times a bad yeah, sometimes a bad diagnosis does

755
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:08,200
Speaker 2: result in you know, a serious illness. But God is

756
00:44:08,239 --> 00:44:12,759
Speaker 2: in it and the enemies, the enemy's prediction of your

757
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 2: life is always going to be permeated fear. God's prediction

758
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 2: in your life will always come with hope. Hope. That

759
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:29,160
Speaker 2: is the resounding cry of Calvary, is hope that even

760
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:32,880
Speaker 2: in death there is life. Not only is their life,

761
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,960
Speaker 2: there is abundant life here on earth. He will do

762
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:39,160
Speaker 2: something good out of what the enemy intended for harm.

763
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:42,880
Speaker 2: And in addition to that, we have a great hope

764
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 2: of where we will be for all of eternity. And

765
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:49,439
Speaker 2: the enemy hates that. That's why he's packing you with fear,

766
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 2: because he's trying to take you down to his level

767
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:55,360
Speaker 2: and down to his future. That's his future, not yours.

768
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 2: Don't listen, and I'm speaking. I'm preaching to myself here

769
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,759
Speaker 2: because I need this. I've had these moments where that

770
00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:06,440
Speaker 2: foreboding fear just settles on you like darkness in a fog.

771
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:10,160
Speaker 2: So we need to expect that to happen and we

772
00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:13,320
Speaker 2: need to live in that place that God has something

773
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:15,760
Speaker 2: good he is going to do out of this situation.

774
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:18,319
Speaker 2: I'm not sure how he's going to do it, but

775
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:20,680
Speaker 2: he is good and he's going to do something good

776
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 2: in the situation.

777
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:32,799
Speaker 4: So if we just now, we can you know, just

778
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:35,359
Speaker 4: transition to some of the practical things. And I think

779
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:39,880
Speaker 4: the first one is to create a tight circle of

780
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:43,960
Speaker 4: friends and often if they can be friends who have

781
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:47,480
Speaker 4: experienced what you're going through. This is where a grief

782
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:52,319
Speaker 4: share or a divorce sharer, losing a child or a

783
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:56,600
Speaker 4: prodigal whatever. A lot of churches offer these and it wonderful,

784
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 4: or you know, just a good close group of friends

785
00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:02,480
Speaker 4: who you can be one hundred percent yourself with, who

786
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:07,320
Speaker 4: don't judge you who and who can empathize.

787
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:07,960
Speaker 2: Right.

788
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:09,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a big deal.

789
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:13,080
Speaker 4: So that's that's really important because you need your people.

790
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:16,239
Speaker 3: Because not everybody knows. Not everybody knows what you're going through.

791
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:18,319
Speaker 4: They can't and like I said, before my son had

792
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:23,000
Speaker 4: a diagnosis, I couldn't understand the same way that I can.

793
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:27,760
Speaker 2: Now, right right, So yeah, and then the prodigal journey,

794
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:31,160
Speaker 2: that's one where you know, like we talked a little

795
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:32,680
Speaker 2: bit I think it was in the last episode just

796
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:35,200
Speaker 2: about you know, I never imagined I'd find myself there.

797
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:38,839
Speaker 2: But the empathy that I have, yeah, and understanding of that,

798
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:41,480
Speaker 2: and that comes through the people that I really need

799
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:43,440
Speaker 2: to be in a group with to talk to about

800
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:46,160
Speaker 2: that are the people who have walked that road and

801
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 2: just shout out plug. We we've been in the same

802
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:52,399
Speaker 2: group for how many years we were talking about this.

803
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:54,640
Speaker 3: Recently, probably three years.

804
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:57,440
Speaker 2: I think it's I think it's four, is it four?

805
00:46:58,120 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 4: Could think twenty one? That's right, Yeah, yeah, I think one.

806
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 3: Yeah.

807
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:05,440
Speaker 2: So what we do, it's it's a group that you

808
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:08,799
Speaker 2: started online and there's really only like four of five

809
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:10,600
Speaker 2: or four or five of us that show up and

810
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,080
Speaker 2: we come like once a month. We get together, we

811
00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:15,359
Speaker 2: give each other updates, how's it going, and we pray

812
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:19,800
Speaker 2: together and we're the ones. There's no judgment obviously, because

813
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 2: we're all going through similar parts of the journey with

814
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:26,239
Speaker 2: what's happened. We set and you know, it's beautiful. We

815
00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:31,280
Speaker 2: celebrate all the victories and we weep. There's we always

816
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:33,640
Speaker 2: have to show up with our Kleenex in hand, and

817
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 2: we weep with one another and then we pray. Uh

818
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:40,080
Speaker 2: and so you need that, whether it's addiction recovery, whether

819
00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:43,560
Speaker 2: it's divorce, whether it's loss, whether it's going through the

820
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:46,120
Speaker 2: prodigal journey. So I want to give a huge shout

821
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:48,600
Speaker 2: out to that aspect because those are the people that

822
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:52,319
Speaker 2: can really walk alongside you and praise God, we have

823
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:57,320
Speaker 2: such technology today that yeah, because our group is spread

824
00:47:57,360 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 2: out and we've been looking actually at it. So we'll

825
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 2: talk more at the end about if if people are

826
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 2: looking for some sort of a group like that, particularly

827
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:09,839
Speaker 2: on the prodigal journey, but starting more groups like that

828
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 2: that can meet with people who are going through a

829
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:16,840
Speaker 2: similar journey that you are, so that you can commiserate together,

830
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 2: sit with each other like we were talking about. Sit

831
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:23,880
Speaker 2: like Job's friends did with him, Sit and weep and

832
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:28,960
Speaker 2: then celebrate the victories and really pray together. That is

833
00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:32,440
Speaker 2: critically important. I don't don't don't go it alone. Man,

834
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:35,680
Speaker 2: we are supposed to be lone ranger. Christians. Do not

835
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:39,319
Speaker 2: do that. Find other people who are going through that,

836
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:43,680
Speaker 2: find a support group. And I would encourage people really

837
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:46,080
Speaker 2: try to find a spiritual support you know. Oh yeah,

838
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:48,560
Speaker 2: I wanted to be a Christian one with godly people

839
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:51,239
Speaker 2: who believe along the lines that you do that have

840
00:48:51,280 --> 00:48:53,719
Speaker 2: the hope that you have in Christ, and that God

841
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:56,240
Speaker 2: is going to redeem the situation, particularly with stuff like

842
00:48:56,239 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 2: like prodigal children. I know it's God's will. It's God.

843
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 2: It's not God's will that any should perish. Therefore, we

844
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:07,279
Speaker 2: can pray emphatically knowing we're praying according to the will

845
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:10,239
Speaker 2: of God when we pray for our children, to all

846
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:12,840
Speaker 2: of our children to be following the Lord. So I

847
00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 2: want to be in a group that believes that. Personally,

848
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:16,319
Speaker 2: I need to be with a group of people that

849
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:17,560
Speaker 2: emphatically believe that.

850
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:20,280
Speaker 3: Well and as a person.

851
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:25,320
Speaker 4: That's why I'm a clinical Christian counselor yes, because there's

852
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:28,120
Speaker 4: a lot of wisdom in the clinical there's a lot

853
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 4: of wisdom and groups. There's a lot of wisdom in

854
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:36,280
Speaker 4: walking along people. But if you really want the fullness, it's.

855
00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:38,200
Speaker 3: Got to be in God.

856
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 4: And all of the best psychology is biblically based. I mean,

857
00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:46,920
Speaker 4: it's maybe it's expanded more, do you know what I

858
00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:49,320
Speaker 4: mean with things that we've discovered, But it's just interesting

859
00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:52,880
Speaker 4: to me how it always the best proves back to

860
00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:57,000
Speaker 4: biblical principles. And so yes, I would affirm have that

861
00:49:57,320 --> 00:50:02,560
Speaker 4: the Christian aspect, because that's where the full circle, full body, soul,

862
00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:05,200
Speaker 4: and spirit, full hope resides.

863
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:07,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, so definitely that.

864
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:10,400
Speaker 4: And then also, and I think you're really good at

865
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 4: this too, is gather scriptures that you can pray sometimes

866
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:18,040
Speaker 4: in a you know, in a hard time.

867
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:20,719
Speaker 3: So often I'll be like, Lord, I don't know what

868
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 3: to say.

869
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:24,640
Speaker 4: I mean, I think I say, and He's like, you know,

870
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:27,319
Speaker 4: we've said that before a hundred million times, you know,

871
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:29,840
Speaker 4: but to just and then just to pray the scripture,

872
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:34,200
Speaker 4: yes you know that way, or just pray the name

873
00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:36,360
Speaker 4: of Jesus over it, you know.

874
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:40,040
Speaker 3: But I think that's that's really important.

875
00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:40,880
Speaker 2: Huge.

876
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:44,760
Speaker 3: And then you know, to allow yourself.

877
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:50,480
Speaker 4: To wrestle, because it's in the wrestling that we we

878
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:56,080
Speaker 4: get that we get to the truth. So a practical

879
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:57,440
Speaker 4: thing in that we do that in a group, we

880
00:50:57,440 --> 00:51:00,600
Speaker 4: do that scripture, do the Lord, we do that however, else,

881
00:51:00,640 --> 00:51:05,600
Speaker 4: but to allow yourself to wrestle through what you're feeling,

882
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:09,359
Speaker 4: where you're at, and so that you can come to

883
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:10,920
Speaker 4: the new understanding.

884
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:12,040
Speaker 3: That's true.

885
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 4: I think of you know, when Israel Jacob wrestled with

886
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:20,040
Speaker 4: God all night, Yeah, all night and he.

887
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:21,360
Speaker 3: Was a different person.

888
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:23,319
Speaker 2: He walked with a lamp after that.

889
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 3: That's right.

890
00:51:26,239 --> 00:51:29,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I did a whole thing on wrestling with God. Actually,

891
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:32,400
Speaker 2: I'm sitting here in my Usually I record downstairs in

892
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:35,680
Speaker 2: our classroom, but I'm recording back in my little, my

893
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:39,120
Speaker 2: little quiet private place that I in my room where

894
00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:41,680
Speaker 2: I do my devotions and some of my worship.

895
00:51:41,719 --> 00:51:42,200
Speaker 3: And I'm looking.

896
00:51:42,239 --> 00:51:45,279
Speaker 2: I've got this old husband chair. They called them husband chairs,

897
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 2: the little pillow chairs with the arms up to the side.

898
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:52,400
Speaker 2: This thing is like probably twenty five years old. I

899
00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:55,600
Speaker 2: kid you not. I got it early on in marriage,

900
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:57,520
Speaker 2: and my husband wanted to throw it away many times,

901
00:51:57,520 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 2: and I finally looked at him and said, you can't

902
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:02,440
Speaker 2: do that. I've got like stitching all over it, and

903
00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:05,120
Speaker 2: it's like got holes and stitching and stuff and coming

904
00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:08,800
Speaker 2: out of it right now. But it's it's my altar.

905
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:13,080
Speaker 2: And there's you can see stains all over it. But there,

906
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:15,840
Speaker 2: you know, those aren't they're my tear stains. They're my

907
00:52:16,280 --> 00:52:19,680
Speaker 2: tear stains. And the reason part of the reason it's

908
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:21,680
Speaker 2: got holes is because it's old. The other part is

909
00:52:21,719 --> 00:52:26,759
Speaker 2: because I hit it. I hit it really hard when

910
00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:29,319
Speaker 2: I was on my knees wrestling with God. When I

911
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:33,440
Speaker 2: was wrestling through like Jacob with God, I'm like wrestling

912
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:38,439
Speaker 2: through a painful circumstance or situation. And that that pillow chair,

913
00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:41,719
Speaker 2: it's called a husband's chair. It's my altar where I

914
00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:43,360
Speaker 2: do that, and I will never get rid of it

915
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 2: because it's got so many miles and so many wrestling

916
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:50,720
Speaker 2: matches with the Lord right there. So we do need

917
00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:55,120
Speaker 2: to take time to wrestle through these situations and come

918
00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:57,640
Speaker 2: to gain understanding. And God can handle it. He can

919
00:52:57,680 --> 00:53:00,120
Speaker 2: handle our pain, he can handle our frustration, can and

920
00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:04,279
Speaker 2: handle our anger. And it's in that place. And you know,

921
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:07,959
Speaker 2: it's also my altar of worship. It's the place I go.

922
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:11,080
Speaker 2: I put it down on the ground and sometimes I'm

923
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:15,040
Speaker 2: just weeping in worship because how amazing, amazing he is.

924
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:17,360
Speaker 2: Because we talked a lot in the last episode about

925
00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:20,520
Speaker 2: the pre eminence of worship, I'm want to reemphasize that worship.

926
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:25,160
Speaker 2: Worship was one of your practical tools. And I would say,

927
00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:28,040
Speaker 2: in a situation like this, we talked about the sacrifice

928
00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:31,960
Speaker 2: of Thanksgiving, this needs to be that place of you know,

929
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:35,040
Speaker 2: one of the key practical things we do is worship.

930
00:53:35,040 --> 00:53:37,479
Speaker 2: In these circums and these situations keep going.

931
00:53:38,239 --> 00:53:41,879
Speaker 4: Yeah, and really the fun I would just say, maybe

932
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 4: as a final one is just to give yourself grace.

933
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 4: You know, we are not going to do these things perfectly. Nope,

934
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:52,840
Speaker 4: we're gonna have some regrets. You're gonna say things you

935
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:55,279
Speaker 4: wish had and said, You're gonna do things youish hadn't done.

936
00:53:55,320 --> 00:53:59,920
Speaker 4: You're gonna make mistakes in the process. But the winner,

937
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:03,680
Speaker 4: if there is a winner, if we say winner, is

938
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:07,359
Speaker 4: not the one who does it perfectly. It's the one

939
00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:11,880
Speaker 4: who stays steadfast, who stays in the game yes and says,

940
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:14,799
Speaker 4: I'm mad at you today, Lord, but I still praise you,

941
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:17,440
Speaker 4: you know, or I don't like this and I whatever,

942
00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:21,640
Speaker 4: but stays in the fight, stays in and.

943
00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:24,759
Speaker 3: You'll you'll come out on top. You'll come out.

944
00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:27,920
Speaker 4: And I think we, like we said, we judge processes.

945
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:33,720
Speaker 4: But it's interesting when I watch people and the people.

946
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:37,440
Speaker 3: That Hmmm, I don't know what the right word is.

947
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:39,200
Speaker 4: I don't know if I want to say come out

948
00:54:39,239 --> 00:54:41,799
Speaker 4: on the top, on top or come or find that

949
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:47,040
Speaker 4: new overcome overcome there you go. Yeah, they're not It's

950
00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:52,400
Speaker 4: not always pretty, thank you, and it doesn't have to be.

951
00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:53,840
Speaker 2: No, it doesn't.

952
00:54:54,040 --> 00:54:55,160
Speaker 3: But it's that's.

953
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:58,480
Speaker 4: Why God says his mercies are new every morning, you know.

954
00:54:58,719 --> 00:55:00,640
Speaker 4: So you blew up the night before, you back up

955
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:02,680
Speaker 4: and you you're back with the Lord, and then you

956
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:07,719
Speaker 4: the overcomers are the that's the overcomer. And so just

957
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:11,840
Speaker 4: to have grace for yourself, have grace in the process.

958
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:14,640
Speaker 4: This is a real hurt that a person. You're experiencing.

959
00:55:14,719 --> 00:55:18,520
Speaker 4: This is life changing. It's changed your identity, it's changed

960
00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:24,280
Speaker 4: everything you thought you knew. But if you will stay,

961
00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:29,040
Speaker 4: you will overcome. And the promises in Revelation to the

962
00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:33,279
Speaker 4: overcomers are incredible, you know.

963
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:35,000
Speaker 3: And that's that's where we want to get to.

964
00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:37,520
Speaker 2: Yes, I just had to go look up one of

965
00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:40,880
Speaker 2: my favorite scriptures. I actually created a scripture song about

966
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:44,520
Speaker 2: this years ago. Sorry, I'm looking up the exact reference

967
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:50,360
Speaker 2: out of Isaiah chapter fifty versus. I think it's like

968
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:53,959
Speaker 2: seven eight nine. I love this verse, these verses because

969
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:58,760
Speaker 2: they're so they're so just like I imagine like a blue

970
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:01,960
Speaker 2: faced William Wallace on a you know, on a horse,

971
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:07,040
Speaker 2: shouting to us in these challenging seasons, these these verses.

972
00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:11,160
Speaker 2: Because the sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced.

973
00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:16,480
Speaker 2: Therefore I set my face like flint. Yeah, I know

974
00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:21,080
Speaker 2: I will not be put to shame. He who vindicates

975
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:24,279
Speaker 2: me is near, who then will bring charges against me?

976
00:56:24,880 --> 00:56:27,759
Speaker 2: Let us face each other. Who is my accuser? Let

977
00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:30,680
Speaker 2: him confront me, because it is the sovereign Lord who

978
00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:35,360
Speaker 2: helps me who will condemn me. But that part about

979
00:56:35,400 --> 00:56:40,400
Speaker 2: setting your face like flint, that determination, that determination, that

980
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:45,279
Speaker 2: steadfastness in the face of struggle. And you're not there

981
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:48,480
Speaker 2: on day one. You're not there in the crisis we

982
00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:52,400
Speaker 2: talked about sitting in the grief. You're not there yet. Yeah,

983
00:56:52,440 --> 00:56:56,760
Speaker 2: But I can remember, just to harken back to the

984
00:56:56,760 --> 00:57:00,960
Speaker 2: sacrifice of Thanksgiving, the day that Thanksgiving Day in twenty fifteen,

985
00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:04,640
Speaker 2: when I had the miscarriage. I can remember. It didn't

986
00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:09,279
Speaker 2: take long, but I remember getting to that place of

987
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:14,839
Speaker 2: just setting my face like flint upon the Lord and

988
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:18,720
Speaker 2: determining that God was going to do good out of this,

989
00:57:19,560 --> 00:57:23,360
Speaker 2: that this sucked, that the enemy stole something from me,

990
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:27,880
Speaker 2: that death is not God's plan, but God would vindicate me.

991
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,440
Speaker 2: God would do something good. So I set my face

992
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:35,800
Speaker 2: like flint upon his promise to bring beauty from mourning,

993
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:40,160
Speaker 2: or beauty for ashes, a loadness from mourning, praise from despair.

994
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:44,120
Speaker 2: I set my face like flint on his character that

995
00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:49,080
Speaker 2: even in the hardship and the heartache and the loss

996
00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:53,280
Speaker 2: and the devastation and the fact that evil touched my

997
00:57:53,400 --> 00:57:57,480
Speaker 2: life and my womb, that God would do something good.

998
00:57:58,040 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 2: And I've told this testimony and I will never tired

999
00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:04,080
Speaker 2: of telling this testimony. It still is miraculous to me.

1000
00:58:04,520 --> 00:58:07,840
Speaker 2: We prayed scripture. We've gathered the Word of God and

1001
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,840
Speaker 2: prayed it over my life every single day. Because it

1002
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:13,120
Speaker 2: was early on in pregnancy that we lost with the

1003
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:16,560
Speaker 2: baby we named Hope, and I got discouraged. There were

1004
00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:19,640
Speaker 2: times when I felt like the enemy was laughing at me.

1005
00:58:19,800 --> 00:58:22,200
Speaker 2: But I gather you know the scriptures you talked about earlier.

1006
00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:25,280
Speaker 2: I continued to pray them every time I would feel

1007
00:58:25,280 --> 00:58:28,919
Speaker 2: that enemy breathing down my neck. You're too old, Yeah,

1008
00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:32,880
Speaker 2: this is a young woman's dream. You misheard God. Yea

1009
00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:35,040
Speaker 2: death is the last thing that's going to happen in

1010
00:58:35,080 --> 00:58:37,440
Speaker 2: your womb. All of those lies. And I went to

1011
00:58:37,520 --> 00:58:40,360
Speaker 2: the doctor's office and next to me were all these

1012
00:58:40,400 --> 00:58:43,000
Speaker 2: women who could be my children. And there I am

1013
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:47,240
Speaker 2: in the office telling my ob feeling like an idiot

1014
00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:50,280
Speaker 2: about you know, I think God has one more for us,

1015
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:53,040
Speaker 2: and hearing in the very next room the heartbeat monitor

1016
00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:55,880
Speaker 2: of someone who was surely younger than I was, and

1017
00:58:55,960 --> 00:58:58,160
Speaker 2: then me just laughing at me. I would get the

1018
00:58:58,160 --> 00:59:01,000
Speaker 2: weapons out, I got the scriptures out, would pray them.

1019
00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:04,440
Speaker 2: Every single day. We prayed like a half an hour

1020
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:06,600
Speaker 2: a day. And then we doubled down six months in

1021
00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:11,280
Speaker 2: because I'm like, this hasn't happened. The day hope was due,

1022
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:15,200
Speaker 2: we found out we were expecting Evangeline faith. That's what

1023
00:59:15,360 --> 00:59:18,760
Speaker 2: came out of this season of hardship. But let me

1024
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:24,160
Speaker 2: tell you, getting pregnant. If that hadn't happened, those spiritual

1025
00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:28,400
Speaker 2: muscles would not have grown, and me and my husband,

1026
00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:33,160
Speaker 2: and then when we experienced the loss of my daughter's

1027
00:59:33,240 --> 00:59:36,520
Speaker 2: faith that we went through, I wouldn't have known what

1028
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:39,080
Speaker 2: to do. But when that happened, I knew exactly what

1029
00:59:39,120 --> 00:59:42,040
Speaker 2: to do. Okay, yeah, I'm gonna grieve. And you were

1030
00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:45,680
Speaker 2: with me. I called you. We had those moments where

1031
00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:47,880
Speaker 2: you were grieving with me. You sat with me. You're

1032
00:59:47,960 --> 00:59:51,840
Speaker 2: so good at that. Errand doctor Barry, but we sat

1033
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:55,600
Speaker 2: together in that. But then what did I do? I

1034
00:59:55,680 --> 00:59:59,720
Speaker 2: gathered my weapons. I gathered the scripture. I gathered the

1035
00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:02,920
Speaker 2: wor word of God and the promises over me and

1036
01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:07,480
Speaker 2: my family. And I gathered that and every single day, now, goodness,

1037
01:00:07,640 --> 01:00:09,240
Speaker 2: is this going on two and a half three years.

1038
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:11,160
Speaker 2: We pray the word of God over my daughter. I

1039
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:13,480
Speaker 2: pray it over all my kids, but I especially pray

1040
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:15,560
Speaker 2: it over the one who struggled in her faith and

1041
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:18,400
Speaker 2: she went from being agnostic to believing. And there's more

1042
01:00:18,400 --> 01:00:20,800
Speaker 2: work to do. I'm praying that God will really get

1043
01:00:20,800 --> 01:00:24,400
Speaker 2: a hold of her heart. But the word of God,

1044
01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:27,600
Speaker 2: that is, those are my weapons that I use. And

1045
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:31,840
Speaker 2: I learn how to do that through the loss, through

1046
01:00:31,880 --> 01:00:34,880
Speaker 2: the looking at the enemy and what I kind of

1047
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:37,840
Speaker 2: call the oh no, you didn't kind of moment, like

1048
01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:43,040
Speaker 2: you did that to me and recognizing that Satan was

1049
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:46,680
Speaker 2: the author of that loss. That's right, not God. I

1050
01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:50,480
Speaker 2: can get mad at him for allowing it, or I

1051
01:00:50,520 --> 01:00:55,280
Speaker 2: can say, Okay, God, yeah this sucked. Now what are

1052
01:00:55,280 --> 01:00:58,400
Speaker 2: you gonna do? You're gonna do something even better? And

1053
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:02,200
Speaker 2: I got the baby, I got the promise, and I

1054
01:01:02,280 --> 01:01:05,160
Speaker 2: got the spiritual muscles. And what it did in my

1055
01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:09,760
Speaker 2: relationship with Brian Holy Cow, like the way our relationship

1056
01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:13,760
Speaker 2: grew through that. So it's like the plunder when we

1057
01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:18,200
Speaker 2: go through a season of loss, of the plunder that

1058
01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:20,880
Speaker 2: we can take from it. You can't get from a

1059
01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:24,880
Speaker 2: season of ease. You can't get those kind of those blessings,

1060
01:01:24,880 --> 01:01:26,480
Speaker 2: and you can't get the kind of fruit that he

1061
01:01:26,520 --> 01:01:29,120
Speaker 2: wants to grow in you. In other words, you can't

1062
01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:30,880
Speaker 2: do what He's called you to do in this life

1063
01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:34,240
Speaker 2: without having these dark knights of the soul, these plot twists,

1064
01:01:34,880 --> 01:01:38,000
Speaker 2: painful seasons. But are we going to turn it over

1065
01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:40,160
Speaker 2: to the Lord and allow him to do what he

1066
01:01:40,240 --> 01:01:43,360
Speaker 2: wants with it? And I say that, and I know

1067
01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:47,400
Speaker 2: it's hard living through tough season, but you know these

1068
01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:49,960
Speaker 2: principles that you've given us have really helped us. Take

1069
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:52,920
Speaker 2: the final word and let's wrap this puppy up.

1070
01:01:53,800 --> 01:01:57,440
Speaker 4: Well, the final word is just what you said. You

1071
01:01:57,480 --> 01:02:02,920
Speaker 4: go through them, you become a better version of yourself.

1072
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:06,160
Speaker 4: Let's say that, you know, looking more like Christ. Yeah,

1073
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:10,240
Speaker 4: And and that's that's the goal.

1074
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:12,400
Speaker 3: Where to be the fragrance of Christ.

1075
01:02:13,320 --> 01:02:18,080
Speaker 4: And it comes through the hardship, It comes through the

1076
01:02:18,160 --> 01:02:24,360
Speaker 4: identity change, it comes through the humility of recognizing you

1077
01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:28,080
Speaker 4: got things wrong, and it comes through the steadfastness of

1078
01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:32,959
Speaker 4: remaining in Him. And I think that's the ultimate goal,

1079
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:36,880
Speaker 4: you know, is we want to get through this life faithful.

1080
01:02:37,040 --> 01:02:38,960
Speaker 4: We want to remain faithful to Him. And the beauty

1081
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:41,200
Speaker 4: is that we have a few unfaithful moments. It's okay,

1082
01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:42,760
Speaker 4: he remains faithful.

1083
01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:44,560
Speaker 3: But yeah, I love it.

1084
01:02:45,120 --> 01:02:50,439
Speaker 2: I love that God includes all those unfaithful moments. The scripture, Wow,

1085
01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:52,720
Speaker 2: that was a that was a bad moment. You know,

1086
01:02:52,760 --> 01:02:55,760
Speaker 2: whether it's John the Baptist in prison, are you really

1087
01:02:55,760 --> 01:02:56,440
Speaker 2: the Messiah?

1088
01:02:56,920 --> 01:02:57,080
Speaker 3: Right?

1089
01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:00,920
Speaker 2: Or whether it's you know, Elijah up in the cave

1090
01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:04,320
Speaker 2: like no, but the last one. He's like, no, You're

1091
01:03:04,360 --> 01:03:05,240
Speaker 2: not the last one.

1092
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:06,280
Speaker 4: I know.

1093
01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:09,200
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter. One other thing I wanted to just

1094
01:03:09,240 --> 01:03:11,800
Speaker 2: add to what you just said is the reality is

1095
01:03:11,840 --> 01:03:15,000
Speaker 2: we're going to go through these seasons no matter what.

1096
01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:17,080
Speaker 2: Our only choice is what are you gonna take out

1097
01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:19,480
Speaker 2: of it? Are you gonna take bitterness? Are you gonna

1098
01:03:19,480 --> 01:03:22,600
Speaker 2: stay Are you gonna stay angry at God and be

1099
01:03:22,720 --> 01:03:27,160
Speaker 2: bitter and never get any fruit or plunder or goodness

1100
01:03:27,160 --> 01:03:30,160
Speaker 2: out of it? Or are you gonna say, Okay, this sucked.

1101
01:03:30,520 --> 01:03:35,200
Speaker 2: God didn't author it. But I'm trusting that despite this,

1102
01:03:35,680 --> 01:03:41,720
Speaker 2: you difficult, horrible, horrific situation. God's gonna do something good

1103
01:03:41,840 --> 01:03:42,280
Speaker 2: from it.

1104
01:03:42,840 --> 01:03:43,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, And that's the.

1105
01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:45,960
Speaker 2: Only option we've got. We got those two options. You

1106
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:48,960
Speaker 2: can stay bitter and angry and in that place and

1107
01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:52,520
Speaker 2: God can't use it, or we can allow him to

1108
01:03:52,760 --> 01:03:55,440
Speaker 2: do something beautiful from it. But the reality is the

1109
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:57,000
Speaker 2: challenging season will come.

1110
01:03:57,840 --> 01:03:58,040
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1111
01:03:58,680 --> 01:04:00,600
Speaker 2: Our only choice is what happened with it?

1112
01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:01,280
Speaker 4: Right?

1113
01:04:01,320 --> 01:04:02,480
Speaker 3: And I just want to.

1114
01:04:02,480 --> 01:04:06,160
Speaker 4: Say too, it's not cut and dry, like you have

1115
01:04:06,200 --> 01:04:08,600
Speaker 4: a challenging season, then you get through, then you're over it.

1116
01:04:09,560 --> 01:04:10,520
Speaker 3: We ebb and flow.

1117
01:04:10,960 --> 01:04:16,720
Speaker 4: We dip back, but it becomes farther and farther in between.

1118
01:04:16,880 --> 01:04:22,240
Speaker 3: It becomes less painful, but we overcome.

1119
01:04:22,320 --> 01:04:26,120
Speaker 4: But the overcoming isn't that we then don't have any

1120
01:04:26,200 --> 01:04:29,400
Speaker 4: pain associated with that anymore. And I just want to

1121
01:04:29,440 --> 01:04:32,080
Speaker 4: say that for listeners because I just want you to know.

1122
01:04:33,040 --> 01:04:34,760
Speaker 4: I just want grace for that. But you're not going

1123
01:04:34,840 --> 01:04:37,760
Speaker 4: to stay as long or as deep, and you're gonna

1124
01:04:37,840 --> 01:04:38,880
Speaker 4: you're gonna go forward.

1125
01:04:39,600 --> 01:04:42,920
Speaker 2: But just as a grace, yeah, you can grow in

1126
01:04:42,960 --> 01:04:46,920
Speaker 2: your ability to overcome those challenges to where they don't

1127
01:04:47,920 --> 01:04:50,960
Speaker 2: necessarily sideline usual. And I just want to add I

1128
01:04:51,040 --> 01:04:55,840
Speaker 2: keep adding the principles that you shared, the intercession, the fasting,

1129
01:04:55,960 --> 01:04:59,520
Speaker 2: the worship, and all of these things. When we have

1130
01:04:59,560 --> 01:05:02,400
Speaker 2: a steady diet of that in our our lives, when

1131
01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:07,240
Speaker 2: we're already there in the good times, then when the

1132
01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:10,200
Speaker 2: bad time hits, and you know this from my life,

1133
01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:15,240
Speaker 2: you've seen it so clearly, the bad time hits, and

1134
01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:19,200
Speaker 2: then God just like it was a boomerang, how quickly

1135
01:05:19,240 --> 01:05:21,640
Speaker 2: he turned it around. And it was a bad you know,

1136
01:05:21,680 --> 01:05:23,840
Speaker 2: some of these situations. One of them in particular, was

1137
01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:27,320
Speaker 2: really really bad, really really bad. It could have sidelined

1138
01:05:27,400 --> 01:05:31,560
Speaker 2: us for years. It could have destroyed really major relationships

1139
01:05:31,560 --> 01:05:32,040
Speaker 2: in my life.

1140
01:05:32,560 --> 01:05:33,360
Speaker 3: But it didn't.

1141
01:05:33,800 --> 01:05:36,560
Speaker 2: God boomeranged it around because we were already on a

1142
01:05:36,600 --> 01:05:41,360
Speaker 2: steady diet of prayer and fasting and a steady diet

1143
01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:46,000
Speaker 2: of worship. And so when you're already there, that also

1144
01:05:46,160 --> 01:05:49,680
Speaker 2: helps the lo lows become more manageable and turn around

1145
01:05:49,720 --> 01:05:52,080
Speaker 2: more quickly. I think now, you know, there's certain things

1146
01:05:52,080 --> 01:05:55,240
Speaker 2: that in life that you just got to work through

1147
01:05:55,400 --> 01:05:59,360
Speaker 2: the extent and the grief of the loss of either

1148
01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:03,520
Speaker 2: a life or expectation or something. But still you will

1149
01:06:03,640 --> 01:06:06,280
Speaker 2: you will manage that season so much better if you

1150
01:06:06,320 --> 01:06:10,800
Speaker 2: are already in a place of doing these spiritual disciplines

1151
01:06:10,840 --> 01:06:13,840
Speaker 2: and the good times, then then you can be ready

1152
01:06:13,880 --> 01:06:15,840
Speaker 2: for the bad time. So share with our listeners where

1153
01:06:15,840 --> 01:06:18,320
Speaker 2: they can learn more about you. Maybe get involved in

1154
01:06:18,360 --> 01:06:21,120
Speaker 2: one of the online groups that we you and I

1155
01:06:21,160 --> 01:06:24,240
Speaker 2: are in, and and uh how to how to contact

1156
01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:27,640
Speaker 2: you and maybe even use I highly recommend I don't

1157
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:30,760
Speaker 2: know how many slots you got open in your counseling sessions,

1158
01:06:31,840 --> 01:06:35,320
Speaker 2: please save one for me always. But if someone is

1159
01:06:35,480 --> 01:06:38,160
Speaker 2: really needing a good and godly Christian counselor you're you're

1160
01:06:38,200 --> 01:06:39,320
Speaker 2: available for that as well.

1161
01:06:40,120 --> 01:06:40,720
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1162
01:06:40,880 --> 01:06:44,480
Speaker 4: So as far as reaching out, probably through the Inseparablelives

1163
01:06:44,520 --> 01:06:46,920
Speaker 4: dot com. And maybe I can give some more information

1164
01:06:46,960 --> 01:06:48,080
Speaker 4: we can put in the show notes.

1165
01:06:48,520 --> 01:06:50,400
Speaker 3: Yes, and then the group I do.

1166
01:06:50,440 --> 01:06:54,440
Speaker 4: We have an online group mostly for parents who are

1167
01:06:54,480 --> 01:07:00,919
Speaker 4: struggling with their kids, prodigal kids and it we have

1168
01:07:00,960 --> 01:07:03,120
Speaker 4: a once a month live prayer call.

1169
01:07:03,320 --> 01:07:04,560
Speaker 3: That's what you're talking about.

1170
01:07:04,640 --> 01:07:08,560
Speaker 4: Yes, But then the platform, it's not all it allows

1171
01:07:08,640 --> 01:07:12,720
Speaker 4: we have. Ah, we'll post things, we post a prayer

1172
01:07:12,760 --> 01:07:15,720
Speaker 4: focus on Sunday nights and then as a group, the

1173
01:07:15,840 --> 01:07:17,800
Speaker 4: other people that are part of it. Not everybody comes

1174
01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:22,080
Speaker 4: to our live call but they we fast and pray

1175
01:07:22,680 --> 01:07:26,200
Speaker 4: on Monday mornings and we pray for all the kids

1176
01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:30,640
Speaker 4: by name, yes, and so we do that regularly every Monday.

1177
01:07:31,120 --> 01:07:33,680
Speaker 3: So if you're interested in something like that, you could

1178
01:07:33,680 --> 01:07:34,840
Speaker 3: reach out as well.

1179
01:07:35,640 --> 01:07:37,320
Speaker 4: I could give you my email at the bottom and

1180
01:07:37,360 --> 01:07:38,280
Speaker 4: they would just email me.

1181
01:07:38,400 --> 01:07:40,000
Speaker 3: I think it's probably the best way.

1182
01:07:40,440 --> 01:07:42,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, go ahead and say do you want to say

1183
01:07:42,040 --> 01:07:42,560
Speaker 2: your email?

1184
01:07:42,840 --> 01:07:43,840
Speaker 3: And it's a funny.

1185
01:07:44,480 --> 01:07:50,640
Speaker 4: It's back back at Tribe five to one dot com. Okay,

1186
01:07:51,040 --> 01:07:54,000
Speaker 4: why isn't that because we created it back in the

1187
01:07:54,080 --> 01:07:57,040
Speaker 4: day when we first started emails and my husband is

1188
01:07:57,040 --> 01:07:59,960
Speaker 4: so cute. Tribe fifty one means you know what I mean,

1189
01:08:00,200 --> 01:08:04,160
Speaker 4: it's giving that extra. You're giving more in a relationship.

1190
01:08:04,480 --> 01:08:06,880
Speaker 4: So that's the fifty one be the one that gives

1191
01:08:06,880 --> 01:08:10,120
Speaker 4: the extra, and that's my husband. So I'm back back

1192
01:08:10,160 --> 01:08:11,200
Speaker 4: at try fifty one.

1193
01:08:12,120 --> 01:08:14,680
Speaker 2: Very go, very good.

1194
01:08:14,720 --> 01:08:15,240
Speaker 3: I love it.

1195
01:08:15,280 --> 01:08:19,799
Speaker 2: That's so cool. That is awesome. This has been amazing.

1196
01:08:19,880 --> 01:08:23,880
Speaker 2: There's so many golden gems laced throughout Itay, I hope so,

1197
01:08:24,240 --> 01:08:26,759
Speaker 2: I think so it deleaves for me and for nobody else.

1198
01:08:27,320 --> 01:08:29,519
Speaker 2: I'll be your prime audience. But I know, I really

1199
01:08:29,600 --> 01:08:31,360
Speaker 2: do know that this has blessed a lot of people.

1200
01:08:31,400 --> 01:08:37,840
Speaker 2: I cannot thank you enough, doctor Aaron Barry. Congratulations on

1201
01:08:38,320 --> 01:08:40,920
Speaker 2: earning your dog. That is huge, you guys, man, that

1202
01:08:41,040 --> 01:08:43,920
Speaker 2: is huge. There's so much work involved in that. And

1203
01:08:43,960 --> 01:08:46,000
Speaker 2: I can't think of a more worthy candidate in the

1204
01:08:46,040 --> 01:08:50,600
Speaker 2: field that you have aspired to receive your doctorate in,

1205
01:08:50,720 --> 01:08:53,519
Speaker 2: because man, you are just so gifted and qualified in this.

1206
01:08:53,680 --> 01:08:57,760
Speaker 2: And I think, God, thank God, there's that verse. I

1207
01:08:57,800 --> 01:09:00,960
Speaker 2: thank God for every remembrance of you. Thank you, doctor

1208
01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:03,439
Speaker 2: Aaron Berry, my dear close friend. Thank you for joining

1209
01:09:03,520 --> 01:09:06,519
Speaker 2: us friends. I hope today's conversation with doctor Aaron Berry

1210
01:09:06,640 --> 01:09:09,760
Speaker 2: encouraged you and whatever plot twist season you might be

1211
01:09:09,800 --> 01:09:12,479
Speaker 2: facing when life takes an unexpected turn, the best thing

1212
01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:15,800
Speaker 2: we can do is to return to those disciplines that

1213
01:09:15,920 --> 01:09:19,920
Speaker 2: steady our hearts, worship, prayer, fasting, surrounding ourselves with a

1214
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:22,880
Speaker 2: close circle of faith filled friends who are going to

1215
01:09:23,040 --> 01:09:25,519
Speaker 2: walk with us, who will grieve with us and help

1216
01:09:25,600 --> 01:09:28,400
Speaker 2: us to find what is true in our situations. Clinging

1217
01:09:28,439 --> 01:09:33,600
Speaker 2: to the goodness of God even when something horrific or

1218
01:09:33,720 --> 01:09:36,799
Speaker 2: challenging or painful has happened in our life. And remember

1219
01:09:36,880 --> 01:09:39,360
Speaker 2: Paul's words in Galatian sixt' nine. Let us not grow

1220
01:09:39,400 --> 01:09:42,760
Speaker 2: weary in doing good, for at the proper time we

1221
01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:44,760
Speaker 2: will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

1222
01:09:45,320 --> 01:09:49,120
Speaker 2: And also remember that wonderful passage from Isaiah fifty. Set

1223
01:09:49,160 --> 01:09:52,040
Speaker 2: your eyes like flint on the one who is able

1224
01:09:52,160 --> 01:09:54,559
Speaker 2: to do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we can think

1225
01:09:54,640 --> 01:09:57,880
Speaker 2: or ask in all of our plot twist seasons of life.

1226
01:09:57,960 --> 01:09:59,920
Speaker 2: God does at work in your story, and he is

1227
01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:03,680
Speaker 2: it's faithful to bring fruit from your perseverance.

1228
01:10:03,720 --> 01:10:07,400
Speaker 4: Thanks Erin, you Vett, Thank you Catherine.

1229
01:10:08,240 --> 01:10:12,479
Speaker 2: So I don't think I have ever done this in

1230
01:10:12,520 --> 01:10:15,920
Speaker 2: the history of Christian Barret crazy world. But here is

1231
01:10:16,040 --> 01:10:18,120
Speaker 2: a true confession. I mean, like I've had a lot

1232
01:10:18,160 --> 01:10:22,320
Speaker 2: of true confessions, but I have never waited so long

1233
01:10:22,680 --> 01:10:27,160
Speaker 2: to air episodes that I have recorded. We actually recorded

1234
01:10:27,160 --> 01:10:31,760
Speaker 2: these episodes with erin last summer, and I fully intended

1235
01:10:31,760 --> 01:10:34,320
Speaker 2: to air them in the fall. I actually promoted them

1236
01:10:34,439 --> 01:10:38,240
Speaker 2: several times, but one thing after another after another came up,

1237
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:42,719
Speaker 2: and they kept getting pushed back. And so now here

1238
01:10:42,760 --> 01:10:46,720
Speaker 2: we are, over six months later, and I couldn't even

1239
01:10:46,760 --> 01:10:51,160
Speaker 2: remember what we talked about in this conversation. But I

1240
01:10:51,200 --> 01:10:55,679
Speaker 2: cannot help. But think that God knew I would need

1241
01:10:55,720 --> 01:11:01,360
Speaker 2: this conversation right now, because six months ago when we

1242
01:11:01,439 --> 01:11:05,599
Speaker 2: recorded this, I was in a very different place.

1243
01:11:06,800 --> 01:11:07,840
Speaker 3: And today.

1244
01:11:09,360 --> 01:11:11,480
Speaker 2: I have been the thick of one of the hardest

1245
01:11:11,520 --> 01:11:15,960
Speaker 2: seasons of my entire life. We have been hit over

1246
01:11:16,040 --> 01:11:21,040
Speaker 2: and over and over with loss and heartache and trauma

1247
01:11:21,280 --> 01:11:27,439
Speaker 2: and tragedy, unmet expectations left and right. There's been distance,

1248
01:11:27,479 --> 01:11:33,160
Speaker 2: in separation and even death. And to that, add in

1249
01:11:33,360 --> 01:11:37,160
Speaker 2: a job loss and undesirable move, empty nesting two kids

1250
01:11:37,160 --> 01:11:42,040
Speaker 2: at once. And yeah, I really needed this message right

1251
01:11:42,080 --> 01:11:46,040
Speaker 2: now now. Aaron has always been one of the safest

1252
01:11:46,080 --> 01:11:48,920
Speaker 2: places for me to land, and she has always offered

1253
01:11:48,960 --> 01:11:54,840
Speaker 2: the most sound advice. But there is something almost surreal

1254
01:11:55,080 --> 01:11:59,280
Speaker 2: about hearing your own voice speak truth into a situation

1255
01:12:00,720 --> 01:12:04,280
Speaker 2: you're not even in yet. And I'm wrestling with that

1256
01:12:04,400 --> 01:12:08,439
Speaker 2: truth so hard right now. And here is what's jumping

1257
01:12:08,479 --> 01:12:13,160
Speaker 2: out at me after hearing our conversation, our prophetic conversation

1258
01:12:13,240 --> 01:12:15,439
Speaker 2: from a half a year ago. Right now, here's what

1259
01:12:15,479 --> 01:12:19,519
Speaker 2: I'm clinging to. And maybe you need this emphasis too.

1260
01:12:19,760 --> 01:12:24,719
Speaker 2: We must go to God with our anger. He can

1261
01:12:25,520 --> 01:12:29,000
Speaker 2: handle it. We must not go around him, We must

1262
01:12:29,040 --> 01:12:33,280
Speaker 2: go straight to him. And we have to wrestle, wrestle,

1263
01:12:33,360 --> 01:12:38,400
Speaker 2: like seriously, wrestle through it, just like Jacob did, refusing

1264
01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:46,320
Speaker 2: to let go until God blesses the pain somehow. And

1265
01:12:46,400 --> 01:12:50,160
Speaker 2: here's the hardest lesson I'm learning in real time right now.

1266
01:12:50,200 --> 01:12:51,960
Speaker 2: This is all new. We didn't talk about this in

1267
01:12:52,000 --> 01:12:54,720
Speaker 2: our conversation, but this is what God is showing me.

1268
01:12:56,920 --> 01:12:59,920
Speaker 2: We don't get to tell God how to do his job.

1269
01:13:01,080 --> 01:13:05,120
Speaker 2: I keep wanting him to answer this prayer and fix

1270
01:13:05,360 --> 01:13:09,439
Speaker 2: this situation and move in this very specific way, and

1271
01:13:09,640 --> 01:13:15,080
Speaker 2: so far I am getting a lot of no's, and honestly,

1272
01:13:15,200 --> 01:13:18,160
Speaker 2: it feels like there is some there's someone up there

1273
01:13:18,160 --> 01:13:20,760
Speaker 2: in heaven with a rubber stamp that says decline, and

1274
01:13:20,800 --> 01:13:24,920
Speaker 2: it's being stamped like on all of my prayer requests.

1275
01:13:25,240 --> 01:13:27,080
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie. That is what it feels like

1276
01:13:27,160 --> 01:13:31,439
Speaker 2: right now, and it hurts. And maybe that's where you

1277
01:13:31,640 --> 01:13:38,519
Speaker 2: are right now too. But at some point we've got

1278
01:13:38,560 --> 01:13:44,679
Speaker 2: to loosen our grip on the outcome and say God, somehow, God,

1279
01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:48,240
Speaker 2: I don't know how, but somehow, in some way, please

1280
01:13:48,479 --> 01:13:56,240
Speaker 2: do something good with this, and then just ask Him

1281
01:13:56,280 --> 01:14:01,320
Speaker 2: to help you. Believe that he will, even if you

1282
01:14:01,400 --> 01:14:05,479
Speaker 2: can't see it. That's where I am right now. That's

1283
01:14:05,479 --> 01:14:09,720
Speaker 2: what I'm doing because sometimes we just can't see it yet.

1284
01:14:11,520 --> 01:14:16,479
Speaker 2: I so loved what Aaron said about overcoming It isn't

1285
01:14:16,560 --> 01:14:19,960
Speaker 2: always pretty, and this is me like being raw and

1286
01:14:20,160 --> 01:14:23,000
Speaker 2: so not pretty right now. I'm so glad that it

1287
01:14:23,040 --> 01:14:26,360
Speaker 2: doesn't have to come all wrapped up with a pretty bow.

1288
01:14:27,200 --> 01:14:29,760
Speaker 2: The winner isn't the one who doesn't perfectly. Life is

1289
01:14:29,800 --> 01:14:32,280
Speaker 2: going to leave you with scars and bruises, and you

1290
01:14:32,360 --> 01:14:37,360
Speaker 2: may walk away with a limp, just like Jacob. But

1291
01:14:37,400 --> 01:14:41,000
Speaker 2: the winner is the one who stays in the fight,

1292
01:14:41,720 --> 01:14:46,240
Speaker 2: who says I hate this and I'm angry, and I

1293
01:14:46,320 --> 01:14:49,719
Speaker 2: don't understand why you allowed all of this to happen

1294
01:14:49,760 --> 01:14:52,479
Speaker 2: in my life, God, and I don't understand why every

1295
01:14:52,479 --> 01:14:55,519
Speaker 2: prayer is getting answered with a big fat no stamped

1296
01:14:55,520 --> 01:15:01,840
Speaker 2: on it right now. But also, just like Jacob says God,

1297
01:15:02,520 --> 01:15:09,080
Speaker 2: despite all of that, I will not let you go

1298
01:15:10,080 --> 01:15:15,280
Speaker 2: unless you bless me. So stay in the fight. Mama's

1299
01:15:15,320 --> 01:15:19,960
Speaker 2: and Papa, stay in the fight. I'm gonna stay in

1300
01:15:20,000 --> 01:15:22,280
Speaker 2: it too, and by God's grace, we are going to

1301
01:15:22,360 --> 01:15:26,640
Speaker 2: live to see a better day. And I want to

1302
01:15:26,720 --> 01:15:29,280
Speaker 2: leave you with one of my favorite Bible verses. It's

1303
01:15:29,320 --> 01:15:32,840
Speaker 2: out of Psalm twenty seven, verse thirteen. It says, I

1304
01:15:33,000 --> 01:15:37,040
Speaker 2: remain confident of this, I will see the goodness of

1305
01:15:37,080 --> 01:15:40,080
Speaker 2: the Lord, not in heaven. It doesn't say that. It

1306
01:15:40,240 --> 01:15:44,200
Speaker 2: says in the land of the living. And I love

1307
01:15:44,280 --> 01:15:47,439
Speaker 2: how the King James version puts it. It says I

1308
01:15:47,640 --> 01:15:52,080
Speaker 2: had fainted unless I had believed to see the goodness

1309
01:15:52,080 --> 01:15:56,559
Speaker 2: of the Lord in the land of the living. Okay,

1310
01:15:56,640 --> 01:15:59,080
Speaker 2: so I'm gonna be real here. I feel like I've

1311
01:15:59,120 --> 01:16:02,360
Speaker 2: been fainting a lot lately. Maybe you fainted to and

1312
01:16:02,400 --> 01:16:06,400
Speaker 2: that is okay. Have your moment, cry, pound your fist,

1313
01:16:06,800 --> 01:16:08,479
Speaker 2: beat up your pillow if you want to. That is

1314
01:16:08,479 --> 01:16:12,240
Speaker 2: what needles and thread are for. But just don't stay

1315
01:16:12,280 --> 01:16:16,120
Speaker 2: on the floor at least not forever. Brush yourself off,

1316
01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:21,200
Speaker 2: get back up, and ask God to help you believe

1317
01:16:21,439 --> 01:16:27,559
Speaker 2: in His goodness again. And always remember God gave you your kids,

1318
01:16:27,640 --> 01:16:32,679
Speaker 2: your specific kids for a reason. That's because you hold

1319
01:16:32,680 --> 01:16:36,640
Speaker 2: the key to unlocking who God created them to be.

1320
01:16:37,640 --> 01:16:38,959
Speaker 2: We'll see you next time.

1321
01:16:45,880 --> 01:16:49,120
Speaker 5: Christian parent Crazy World is a production of Life Audio

1322
01:16:49,280 --> 01:16:51,960
Speaker 5: and Salem Media. If you liked what you heard today,

1323
01:16:52,120 --> 01:16:55,000
Speaker 5: please take a second to rate and review this podcast

1324
01:16:55,120 --> 01:16:58,120
Speaker 5: in your favorite podcast app, so that more listeners like

1325
01:16:58,160 --> 01:17:02,480
Speaker 5: you can find the show. More faith filled inspirational podcasts

1326
01:17:02,720 --> 01:17:04,720
Speaker 5: visit us at life audio dot com

1327
01:17:11,720 --> 01:17:12,040
Speaker 2: MHM