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Speaker 1: Life Audio.

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Speaker 2: You are listening to The Becket Cook Show with your

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Speaker 2: host Beckett Cook. For more information about Beckett and his ministry,

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Speaker 2: visit his website at Beckettcook dot com. To help support

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Speaker 2: the podcast, visit Patreon dot com slash the Becket Cook Show.

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Speaker 2: Please consider subscribing to the podcast and leaving a five

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Speaker 2: star rating.

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Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome to the show today. I have a

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Speaker 1: special guest, Jennic Kristen. She's coming to us from Switzerland,

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Speaker 1: and when she was very young, I think she was

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Speaker 1: four years old, she thought she was a boy. Long

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Speaker 1: story short, she ended up becoming She transitioned from female

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Speaker 1: to male later on life when she was I think

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Speaker 1: twenty four years old, and then years after that, she

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Speaker 1: had this really radical encounter with God and he changed everything.

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Speaker 1: And I just want to let you know there's a

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Speaker 1: couple moments in our conversation where you might say, wait,

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Speaker 1: what is she saying and because she says a couple

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Speaker 1: of things that might confuse you, but we clarify those

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Speaker 1: things later in the episode, So just just watch till

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Speaker 1: the end, so please enjoy this episode. But first award

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Speaker 1: from our sponsor, so welcome Jennik Kristen. Hi, Vacoate, it's

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Speaker 1: so good to have you on. You're there in Switzerland,

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Speaker 1: and well you were? You told me you were raised

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Speaker 1: in a Christian family. Where were you raised?

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Speaker 3: What country in Switzerland? I was born and raised in Switzerland.

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Speaker 1: And what was that like, because you say that it

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Speaker 1: was a dysfunctional family.

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Speaker 3: Yes, absolute, So first of all, thank you so much

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Speaker 3: for inviting me. It's such an honor to be with you.

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Speaker 3: So thank you for that invitation. And yes, I was

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Speaker 3: born and raised in Switzerland and my parents were actually

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Speaker 3: I Will says, it's never possible to give something that

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Speaker 3: you've not received. And you know, my father grew up

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Speaker 3: in a very dysfunctional family himself. He never he was

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Speaker 3: never sure of, you know, being loved. Same with my mom,

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Speaker 3: but in different ways. She went through a lot of

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Speaker 3: different kind of abuse. And it was not a time

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Speaker 3: at that time we were not trying to see how okay,

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Speaker 3: there is something maybe you can work on and maybe

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Speaker 3: you know, not to give that back to your children

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Speaker 3: or something like this. So I can tell you as

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Speaker 3: a couple they were wonderful, really beautiful couple, very very

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Speaker 3: in love together and such an example of love. But

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Speaker 3: as parents it was more difficult. They went through a

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Speaker 3: lot themselves, as I said, and then I went through

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Speaker 3: a lot of different kind of abuse, violence, and the

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Speaker 3: family was very dysfunctional because my father was never a son,

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Speaker 3: and I think you cannot be a father when you've

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Speaker 3: never been a son. And actually he just tried to

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Speaker 3: do his best. My mother the same. I'm not trying,

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Speaker 3: you know, to sue them or to say they were

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Speaker 3: very bad or they did their best, but they went

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Speaker 3: through so much that actually they were dysfunctional. And my

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Speaker 3: father was present as a husband, as a man, but

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Speaker 3: he was not present to help us to be built

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Speaker 3: in our own identity. And as for my mother, she

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Speaker 3: was really suffering in her own femininity. So she was

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Speaker 3: not an example for me because she was struggling herself.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, she was, you know, very strong, and my

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Speaker 3: father was doing his best to protect his couple. So

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Speaker 3: I didn't find any place for me. I was struggling

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Speaker 3: with who I was. And I will say that already

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Speaker 3: at four years old, I thought the perspective I had

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Speaker 3: for myself was, well, I'm a boy.

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Speaker 1: And so why why did you feel Why did you

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Speaker 1: think that instead of like I'm you know, a lesbian

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Speaker 1: or whatever, how did you Where did that come from?

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Speaker 3: That's a good question. Actually, it's just the perception I

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Speaker 3: had from myself. The way I was looking at me,

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Speaker 3: It's like I'm a boy. It was just for me.

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Speaker 3: It was just normal to think like this, like this.

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Speaker 3: And when I was at school, I had a lot

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Speaker 3: of girlfriends and they were like, you know, not like me.

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Speaker 3: I was not like them. It's just very weird. And

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Speaker 3: I was very by myself, a lot by myself because

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Speaker 3: the little girl. They were afraid of me because I

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Speaker 3: was a little rush you know. And the guys they

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Speaker 3: were like, you're a girl, and I was like, no,

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Speaker 3: I'm a boy. And it was like inside of me,

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Speaker 3: I was the perception I have was Okay, when I

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Speaker 3: will grow up, I will be a pastor, I will

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Speaker 3: be married to a woman, and we will have children together.

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Speaker 3: That was the way I was looking at myself.

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Speaker 1: Then you say that when you were eight years old

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Speaker 1: you had two traumatic events happened. What were those?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Absolutely, praise God. I went through this at seven

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Speaker 3: because it equipped me for what was coming. Yes, So,

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Speaker 3: as I told you, I was very by myself. I

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Speaker 3: didn't have a lot of friends, but I had one

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Speaker 3: he had a little endicap, and we were close together

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Speaker 3: because of his endicap and me, you know, with my

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Speaker 3: with me struggling with my identity. So we were playing

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Speaker 3: after school every day. We were playing together indians, climbing trees.

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Speaker 3: We loved to play together. And one day he said, well,

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Speaker 3: I wish you great summer holidays and we will see

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Speaker 3: in August and you know, to start a new year

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Speaker 3: at school. And actually never came back. He killed himself

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Speaker 3: in an accident in the mountains. Oh wow, And for

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Speaker 3: me it was a shock, and especially because at that

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Speaker 3: time we were not really considering children grieving or so

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Speaker 3: it was like, yeah, something hard happened, but let's you know,

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Speaker 3: the show must go on, so that it all. And

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Speaker 3: as for me, it was really terrible because I lost

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Speaker 3: my best friend. And then this same year, I remember

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Speaker 3: one day I was at school and my father came

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Speaker 3: and he spoke to the teacher and then she asked

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Speaker 3: me to leave, and I went out to school and

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Speaker 3: then my father was here with the car, my mom inside,

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Speaker 3: and my brother and we were all together driving and

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Speaker 3: my father told me, well, the doctor came at the

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Speaker 3: house today and your mother has a arnier in the

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Speaker 3: back and it's an emergency. She needs to have surgery.

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Speaker 3: Otherwise she could stay paralized. So it's going to be

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Speaker 3: just you know, for a while. We'll do the surgery.

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Speaker 3: They will do the surgery, and then she will be

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Speaker 3: back after a few days. But actually during the surgery,

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Speaker 3: the surgeon made a mistake and he cut a vein

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Speaker 3: I don't know in English, the name in francis iliac,

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Speaker 3: which is a vein coming from the bottom going to

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Speaker 3: the heart. And he didn't realize that he did that

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Speaker 3: at first. So she was back into the awakening room

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Speaker 3: and she just felt a huge pain in the bailey.

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Speaker 3: She said, well, I mean pain, and then she fainted

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Speaker 3: and they were losing her. Everything was raining, ringing in

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Speaker 3: the room. So they brought her back to the surgery

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Speaker 3: place and they had to open her again, and then

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Speaker 3: blood everywhere she was, you know, for three days, she

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Speaker 3: was between life and death. And after that she spent

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Speaker 3: a lot of time, you know, in a place to recover.

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Speaker 3: But from one day to another, I had to be

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Speaker 3: an adult, to cook, to do laundry, to help my father.

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Speaker 3: I told you that they were very close as a couple,

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Speaker 3: so for him it was terrible. And as for me,

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Speaker 3: it's like if my childhood from one moment to another,

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Speaker 3: my childhood went was destroyed. It was like this, you know,

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Speaker 3: this feeling of your innocence. There is no longer innocence, innocence,

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Speaker 3: you have to be an adult, and it's like, that's.

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Speaker 1: It, We'll be right back after the short break. How

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Speaker 1: long did it take for your mother to recover?

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Speaker 3: Actually I don't remember that. What I remember is that

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Speaker 3: for years, every time I was coming back after school,

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Speaker 3: she was laying down in pain. And I don't remember

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Speaker 3: my mother her being able to do sport or to

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Speaker 3: lay down with me to play something. She was like

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Speaker 3: handicapped in her body and she suffered a lot. She

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Speaker 3: she struggled a lot to be able to you know,

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Speaker 3: to walk again, to recover. Absolutely, it took like I

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Speaker 3: don't know how long it took, but she was suffering

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Speaker 3: in her body for years. Actually.

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Speaker 1: Wow, So obviously that yeah, that is very traumatic, it is.

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Speaker 1: And then what happened when you were eleven years old,

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Speaker 1: because that was a very point.

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Speaker 3: Oh my, you know, I was still believing, Okay, I'm

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Speaker 3: a boy and I could stay in this little.

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Speaker 1: And what is your By the way, what did your

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Speaker 1: parents think about you? Did they know that? You know?

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Speaker 3: I never talked to them about that, No, because I

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Speaker 3: was not able to put any words on it except

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Speaker 3: that I was feeling this. But I was not able.

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Speaker 3: I never heard about trend's identity. It's transsexuality before. I

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Speaker 3: will tell you later. But actually I just felt and

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Speaker 3: I was a boy, but my body was still, you know,

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Speaker 3: not very How can I say this? It was like

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Speaker 3: when you're a child, it's okay, you can believe what

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Speaker 3: you want. But then at eleven, I had my period,

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Speaker 3: and then it was terrible because my body was telling, okay,

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Speaker 3: you really are a woman. And as for me, it

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Speaker 3: was traumatic. I was like, I can't believe. It was

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Speaker 3: like if my body was putting me into confronting me

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Speaker 3: into the reality and I didn't want to hear this.

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Speaker 3: It was not possible for me to hear this. So

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Speaker 3: I was still struggling with this, but even more than

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Speaker 3: because my body was telling me, yes, you were a woman.

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Speaker 3: And so I entered into tea natuhood with the huge

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Speaker 3: sufference of the Because of this, I was feeling bad

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Speaker 3: at the house, bad in school, bad with my body.

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Speaker 3: I lost a lot of friends, dying from different kind

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Speaker 3: of sicknesses, disease accidents. So I was never able to

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Speaker 3: really build healthy relationship with people because I was always

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Speaker 3: struggling with the fear to be left out, to be

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Speaker 3: left on the side, to lose people. So I went

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Speaker 3: into very dysfunctional relationship with people because I was afraid

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Speaker 3: to lose them. So it was terrible. It was really

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Speaker 3: unhealthy relationships. Absolutely. And when I was fifteen, I lost

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Speaker 3: my best friend at school. She was depressive. She said

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Speaker 3: the same than my friend when I was seven. When

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Speaker 3: I was eight, he said three you later, and then

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Speaker 3: she said, she said the same. We'll see each other

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Speaker 3: in August. And actually she killed herself during the summer holidays. Wow,

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Speaker 3: So it was you know, here again, somebody leaving somebody, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: leaving me. I felt like this, you know, I'm still

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Speaker 3: never good enough to have friendship. I'm never good enough

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Speaker 3: to be loved, you know what I mean. It's like

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Speaker 3: you feel like always different and not worth worth of love.

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Speaker 1: Actually, and so you had you had genuine gender dysport,

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Speaker 1: you had dysphoria, like genuine dysphoria.

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Speaker 3: Yes, but it will be you know, I will receive

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Speaker 3: the diagnosis in at twenty two years old, but till then,

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Speaker 3: actually at sixteen, I choose to kill myself. I was

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Speaker 3: at the and of myself. I was like, I cannot

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Speaker 3: I just want to be with Jesus forever. So at

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Speaker 3: the age of sixteen, I tried to kill myself and

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Speaker 3: then they found me. The day after I was in

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Speaker 3: the coma. The doctor said to my parents, she will

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Speaker 3: not make through this. It's not going to be possible

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Speaker 3: on so it's a miracle that I'm here. Back phrase

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Speaker 3: God for that. But then they put me into a

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Speaker 3: psychiatric hospital for three months and then into a foster

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Speaker 3: family for four years. And during this time in the

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Speaker 3: foster family, I was still trying to understand what my

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Speaker 3: problem was and I was looking to different shows TV

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Speaker 3: shows to understand. And at that moment, we started to

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Speaker 3: speak more, you know, loudly about homosexuality. It was in

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Speaker 3: nineteen ninety seven something like this, and we started more

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Speaker 3: to speak about this. But I was like, no, I'm

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Speaker 3: not homosexual, I'm not like this. But one day I

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Speaker 3: went through a show TV show and they were speaking

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Speaker 3: about that was the first time I heard about trans identity,

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Speaker 3: trans sexuality. And you had this woman she was sure

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Speaker 3: to be a man and you were you know, they

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Speaker 3: were showing her into a motorbike doing karate stuff like this,

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Speaker 3: you know, and she was expressing what she was feeling

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Speaker 3: inside the fact that she was like a man prisoner

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Speaker 3: in a girl body. And I was like, this is me.

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Speaker 3: I was like this was.

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Speaker 1: It an American TV show?

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Speaker 3: No, it was a French one.

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Speaker 1: Oh, okay, and I was like I.

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Speaker 3: Was in Oh. I was like, this is exactly what

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Speaker 3: I have. And as for me, it was it was

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Speaker 3: terrible because there was two parts. One part was well,

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Speaker 3: it's a release when you understand what you have, what

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Speaker 3: you were struggling with. It's like, okay, this is the

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Speaker 3: problem I have. Now I can maybe face it. But

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Speaker 3: at the same time, I was still reading the Bible

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Speaker 3: and I do believe God. You know, in Genesis it's

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Speaker 3: written that God created male and female, and I was like,

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Speaker 3: it's not possible for God to do mistakes. And also

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Speaker 3: when I heard for the first time about transidentity, I

241
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Speaker 3: was like, okay, I will look into the scripture to say,

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Speaker 3: to see if I can find something about it. And

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Speaker 3: I went through this verse. It's in Isaiah forty five,

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Speaker 3: verse nine, it's written, who to him who strives with

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Speaker 3: his maker, charl the clay, say to him who forms it?

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Speaker 3: What are you making? And when I was reading this,

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Speaker 3: I was like, this is me and I didn't want

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Speaker 3: to read this again, and I was trying to avoid it.

249
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Speaker 3: But sometimes I was praying and saying, God, speak to

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Speaker 3: me please, And I can tell you I was opening

251
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Speaker 3: my Bible by chance, you know. And many times I

252
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Speaker 3: went through this verse and I was like, oh, come on,

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Speaker 3: I can't. I can't believe you're still coming with this verse.

254
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Speaker 3: And I was like, so for for a while I

255
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Speaker 3: was not reading is at all. I didn't want it,

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Speaker 3: you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: But wait, hold on, So go back to the Foster family.

258
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Speaker 1: So what when you were when you try to end

259
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Speaker 1: your life, and and then you were in a coma

260
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Speaker 1: and you were you came out of that, Why did

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Speaker 1: Why didn't you just go back home to your parents?

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Speaker 1: Why did you go into a foster.

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Speaker 3: It was not possible. I came to a place where

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Speaker 3: I was I had so much hate in my heart

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Speaker 3: for them, and I was not able anymore. You know,

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Speaker 3: too much violence and abuse and manipulation, stuff like this,

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Speaker 3: And I'm not saying this to throw any stone at them.

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Speaker 3: Here again, I want to say, I know they did

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Speaker 3: their best, but here again, you cannot give something you

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Speaker 3: have not received yourself.

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Speaker 1: So were they aware why you tried to end your life.

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Speaker 3: No, I don't know if they really knew why. I

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Speaker 3: think what happened is that the fact that I did

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Speaker 3: this was like her bell ringing, and from that moment

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Speaker 3: on they tried to receive some help, and especially my mother,

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Speaker 3: she it was like something changed in her heart. From

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Speaker 3: that moment on, she really tried to receive help to

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Speaker 3: do counseling. And for my father, I think he also

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Speaker 3: wanted to go, but it was different. You know, he

280
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Speaker 3: was born during the Second World War and he was

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Speaker 3: a very tough man because he didn't really receive love.

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Speaker 3: He never heard his father telling him I love you.

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Speaker 3: So he did the same with me. He showed me

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Speaker 3: lord love, but I was not able to receive it

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Speaker 3: because I was expecting from him to express it with words,

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Speaker 3: and that was not the way he was able to

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Speaker 3: share it. Sometimes he was giving me his I think

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Speaker 3: his love language was more gift. But as for me,

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Speaker 3: I didn't receive it as love at that time. I

290
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:47,360
Speaker 3: understood that. Later, I was just striving for words of encouragement.

291
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Speaker 3: I was striving for him to tell me I'm proud

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Speaker 3: of you, and I never heard that. And for years

293
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Speaker 3: I was seeking for this. You know. It's just recently

294
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Speaker 3: that God really hit my heart and that I received

295
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:07,119
Speaker 3: this deep you know, I had to get rid of

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Speaker 3: this orphan spirit because I had this orphan heart in me. Yeah. Absolutely.

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Speaker 1: And then so when you were eighteen, you got together

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Speaker 1: with your first girlfriend. Yes, So what was that like?

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Speaker 3: We started dating at school. It was the school after

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Speaker 3: the you know, it was just a school preparing us

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Speaker 3: to go to university. And I met her there and

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Speaker 3: I just saw the show before, so I knew what

303
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Speaker 3: my problem was. So as we started dating together, I

304
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:46,800
Speaker 3: directly asked her, please name me in a masculine way,

305
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Speaker 3: you know, the proanunce. Please, I want for you to

306
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:54,920
Speaker 3: say him. So when we were together, she was doing

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Speaker 3: this and it was so refreshing for me. Loved this,

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Speaker 3: and we went together for two years. And during those

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Speaker 3: two years, it was very hard for me because I

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Speaker 3: was still for sure my style was very tomboy, but

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Speaker 3: people knew I was a girl, so they were always

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Speaker 3: saying oh, okay, maybe they are homosexual. And I was

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Speaker 3: not able to hear about that. I was like, no,

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Speaker 3: I'm not, I'm a boy. Can you see this, It's

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Speaker 3: so obvious. And as for me, it was for them,

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Speaker 3: absolutely not, because my body was still a body of

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Speaker 3: a woman.

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Speaker 1: And so and then how did you how did that

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Speaker 1: relationship with a girlfriend end?

320
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Speaker 3: I don't remember why, but after two years, finally we

321
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 3: used to stop this relationship. And then I was, okay,

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Speaker 3: you really need to accept your femininity. It's going to

323
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Speaker 3: be more easy for you. It's going to be easier,

324
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Speaker 3: and just accept it and don't be in a lifestyle

325
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Speaker 3: you are not agreeing with. Because here again, when I

326
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Speaker 3: was reading the Bible, I was confronted with some you know,

327
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Speaker 3: verses like in Roman Juan. I was like, okay, the

328
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:20,760
Speaker 3: lifestyle I know, I feel I'm a boy, but the

329
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:24,879
Speaker 3: lifestyle I have is a homosexual lifestyle and it's not

330
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Speaker 3: according to the Bible. It's not okay. So I was

331
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Speaker 3: still I was like, maybe the best would be to

332
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Speaker 3: accept my femininity. So for the first time I went

333
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:38,920
Speaker 3: to see two women. When I said for the first time,

334
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Speaker 3: it was not my first counseling time, but that was

335
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Speaker 3: the first time I was able to express what I

336
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:49,560
Speaker 3: was feeling inside. And I said, well, ladies, you know,

337
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 3: I feel prisoner from this body. I feel I'm a boy,

338
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 3: but you see a girl, so please help me. And

339
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,560
Speaker 3: they really tried to help me, you know, they tried

340
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:06,000
Speaker 3: to understand what I wasn't able to identify myself as

341
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,679
Speaker 3: a woman, to see myself as a woman, to accept

342
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:12,080
Speaker 3: my femininity. They were really trying to do a deep

343
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:17,719
Speaker 3: work with me, and I was following their advices and

344
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,960
Speaker 3: trying to accept me as I was. And I remember

345
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 3: trying even to go into a relationship with the men

346
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:29,200
Speaker 3: at work. So I met this guy and we're starting

347
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:32,879
Speaker 3: to be a little closer together to the point where

348
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:38,440
Speaker 3: actually we were about to have sex together. And at

349
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:42,919
Speaker 3: that moment when it was about to happen, I was like,

350
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,400
Speaker 3: I'm a man with another man.

351
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Speaker 1: Here.

352
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 3: For the first time of my life, I felt I

353
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:54,439
Speaker 3: was homosexual. I know it can sounds weird, but because

354
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:58,159
Speaker 3: I was seeing me as a boy, thinking as a

355
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 3: boy as a male, it was like if it was

356
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 3: I'm a maid with another male. So I was like

357
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,879
Speaker 3: and I was not emo. I took all my stuff

358
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:12,320
Speaker 3: and I left and I remember going into my car.

359
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 3: I was I was in shock, you know, and I

360
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 3: was like, I am really a transgender. I'm really a trend.

361
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 3: Stop trying to accept anything. You are trends. You have

362
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:28,359
Speaker 3: the proof you are a trence. And because of that,

363
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:35,120
Speaker 3: I definitely choose to go into this path, this journey.

364
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:39,880
Speaker 3: And at that moment, I met another woman and I

365
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:43,919
Speaker 3: went back to myself. I took the a VHS you know,

366
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:47,159
Speaker 3: the video I recorded the TV show I told you

367
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 3: about before when I was seventeen. I saw this, so

368
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,280
Speaker 3: I came back. I took the video and I said,

369
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,440
Speaker 3: I need to show you something. And I put the

370
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,919
Speaker 3: video on the tape and she watched it and she

371
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 3: was like, this is you. This woman she's she's a boy,

372
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,439
Speaker 3: and she's she's a male and she's talking like you are.

373
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:09,160
Speaker 3: I said, yes, she, well, I will help you. So

374
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:13,480
Speaker 3: we went together to our doctor and this man referred

375
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:18,879
Speaker 3: us to a doctor with working with the ormonds, you know.

376
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:22,879
Speaker 1: And this man he was working with, he was working

377
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 1: with what.

378
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 3: Ormonds, sorry, ooman, not therapy giving ormonds hormones.

379
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:33,880
Speaker 1: Hormones Okay, yeah sorry? And so the French friends never

380
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:38,960
Speaker 1: out the eight. So we got the Hormons. Thank you.

381
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,159
Speaker 3: I love that. If you can correct me, I love that.

382
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:42,840
Speaker 4: I need you.

383
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 1: You started taking hormones.

384
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,840
Speaker 3: Not yet, but actually I shared my story with him

385
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:57,280
Speaker 3: and he was deeply touched and he said, well, I

386
00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:00,199
Speaker 3: will help you. I believe you are a male and

387
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:04,640
Speaker 3: I will definitely help you. So I had to go

388
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:11,679
Speaker 3: to see psychiatrists as another lady, and then I was

389
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 3: like twenty twenty one. Yeah, when they finally went to

390
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 3: I received a diagnostic of gender dysphoria. And actually in Switzerland,

391
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 3: you cannot do this if you cannot have ormonds, or

392
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 3: you cannot do surgery if you didn't have two years

393
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 3: living in the lifestyle of the other gender. So that

394
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:42,200
Speaker 3: was at that time. Okay, at that time, you had

395
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 3: to well, I'm a male, to introduce yourself as a male,

396
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:52,640
Speaker 3: you had to wear main stuff, you have to ask

397
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:56,280
Speaker 3: for a male name. For two years. It was like this,

398
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 3: and you didn't still have nothing, you know, no beard.

399
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:04,119
Speaker 3: So I did this for almost two years, and after

400
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:07,439
Speaker 3: that I received all the green lights to go and

401
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:11,680
Speaker 3: to receive hormones and then to go through surgeries. Yes,

402
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:16,400
Speaker 3: so it took me three years and a half and

403
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 3: then I was a male.

404
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:20,439
Speaker 1: I was that experience? What was it? What was it

405
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:25,639
Speaker 1: like to feel those hormones? And what was it? Was

406
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 1: it like you? Did you like that feeling of getting testosterone?

407
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:35,280
Speaker 3: So to be honest with you, I had to learn

408
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:40,199
Speaker 3: how to deal with it. And I'm just making a

409
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:47,199
Speaker 3: little parenthesis to girls. You cannot imagine, ladies, when you

410
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 3: wear something very sexy, you cannot imagine what it means

411
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 3: to a man, what it can happen. Because actually, when

412
00:27:55,320 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 3: I started to have a testosterone, oh my lord, everything

413
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:07,160
Speaker 3: in my body was reacting and I really had to

414
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:12,520
Speaker 3: learn how to dominate my flesh and my desires. It

415
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:15,679
Speaker 3: was very hard. When I was in presence of you know,

416
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:20,199
Speaker 3: sexy girls, very you know, attractive, I was like, my

417
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:22,200
Speaker 3: body was really reacting like.

418
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:28,879
Speaker 1: Very very like a guy's body, like a guy.

419
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, And for me, I was like what, I didn't

420
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 3: realize that before. I also was more, you know, for sure,

421
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 3: everything changed for me. My body was changing, My reactions

422
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 3: were more. I don't know how I can say that,

423
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:48,160
Speaker 3: but I was more. I was more maybe hard. I

424
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 3: was more bold. And for instance, you know, if I

425
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 3: was parking as a girl, if I was parking and

426
00:28:57,120 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 3: somebody was taking coming and taking my park. I was like, okay,

427
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 3: I we'll find another place with the suscer on. Oh

428
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:11,280
Speaker 3: my lord. Yeah, I was putting my car you know, behind,

429
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 3: and then I was getting out and I was yielding

430
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 3: at the guy. I was like, what are you doing?

431
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 3: And I was very very aggressive, and I really had

432
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 3: to learn how to deal with that. So yeah, it

433
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:29,479
Speaker 3: was but I liked it absolutely. I liked it. It

434
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 3: was if I felt inside everything coming in alignment, and

435
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 3: you know, everything was coming in alignment with what I

436
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 3: was feeling inside. And more than that, then my body

437
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:47,960
Speaker 3: was changing, so my my muscles were you know increasing,

438
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 3: I starting to sew my bird, my beard, so everything

439
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 3: was coming. I was like, yeah, this is who I am.

440
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 3: It was like if the perception that I had when

441
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 3: I was f five six years old was coming into reality.

442
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,600
Speaker 3: So as for me, it was like, I'm starting to

443
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 3: live my best life. And then when I went through

444
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:13,000
Speaker 3: did you.

445
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 1: Expect to me? And everything?

446
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 3: Actually I never went into the details of what I

447
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:24,440
Speaker 3: did and the methods because we had three different methods.

448
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 3: But actually I did whatever what I can I could

449
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:35,600
Speaker 3: do and I went through. I had three surgeries, so

450
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 3: and yeah, it was a big deal at that moment,

451
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 3: I can tell you because we didn't have any experience

452
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 3: like they have today. I mean the surgeon, you know.

453
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 3: So yeah, I had a lot of problems. On two

454
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 3: I was at you know, just a little to die

455
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 3: because I loved a lot of blood. So it was

456
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 3: not a nice story. But actually I did whatever, and

457
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 3: I received my my masculine papers, you know, I could

458
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 3: change everything, my birth certificate, and I was recognized as

459
00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 3: a male. Yes, and I changed my name. And from

460
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 3: that moment on, I was like, I'm I'm I'm happy,

461
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 3: I'm living my best life.

462
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 1: And just a few yeah, and then you got and

463
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 1: then you get married to a woman twenty five five absolutely.

464
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:46,120
Speaker 3: Just a few months after my last surgery. Yes, I

465
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 3: met a girl in the in my church. So after

466
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 3: the surgeries, I started to I started to go back

467
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:57,040
Speaker 3: to a church. It's like if my life was starting.

468
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 3: So I found a great church and I met this girl.

469
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,840
Speaker 3: She was the pianist in the worship team. I was

470
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 3: a guitar. I was playing guitar, and so we started

471
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,959
Speaker 3: dating and after four months we were married.

472
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 1: Yes, And so did the people at the church know

473
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:18,479
Speaker 1: you were trands or not?

474
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:23,280
Speaker 3: So the pastor. He knew that because I had to

475
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:28,200
Speaker 3: share it with him, but the other people at the

476
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 3: beginning were not aware of that. For sure, I shared

477
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 3: my story with my fiancee because I didn't want, you know,

478
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:42,480
Speaker 3: to lie to her. Because of the surgery, I was terrible,

479
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 3: so we were not able to have children, so I

480
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 3: didn't want to play with her. I knew that she

481
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:52,480
Speaker 3: wanted to have children. So because of that when we

482
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 3: started dating, before even we started with the friendship and

483
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 3: as we were friends, we shared a lot together. It

484
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 3: was amazing. It was easy to share together. And she

485
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:08,959
Speaker 3: shared about her life and I did, and I said, well,

486
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:14,719
Speaker 3: you know, this is my story and I'm sterile, bekay,

487
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 3: we will not be able to have children, and she

488
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 3: and so well, I do believe in a God of miracle,

489
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:22,959
Speaker 3: and I was like, this is the right one. I

490
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:24,800
Speaker 3: need to marry her. Absolutely.

491
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 1: I think on your you say on your tenth wedding anniversary,

492
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 1: you went to Canada to serve for a year with

493
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:39,200
Speaker 1: a charity there and then something amazing happened with God,

494
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 1: So talk about that.

495
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, this is the best part. This is the

496
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 3: best part. So you have to know how marriage was

497
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:52,320
Speaker 3: just amazing. We were so in love together, we were

498
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 3: serving God and I was seeing a lot of foods

499
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:58,800
Speaker 3: of our life. So in a certain way, I thought

500
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:03,560
Speaker 3: that God was approved me, approving my ways. And at

501
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:07,320
Speaker 3: the same time I was always debating. I was not

502
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:14,360
Speaker 3: sure of his love, acceptance and approval. And so to

503
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:18,320
Speaker 3: celebrate the yeah, the tenth anniversary, we went to Canada,

504
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:22,240
Speaker 3: and I remember, you know when we went there. Were

505
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:26,240
Speaker 3: we went there, we did not share my story. I said,

506
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 3: if if to go there I share my story, they

507
00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 3: will say, well, you cannot come. So I didn't say anything.

508
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:37,080
Speaker 3: So we went there. We were just a couple. And

509
00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 3: after three months, one day my boss asked me. He

510
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,440
Speaker 3: said he came to me and he said, well, my

511
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 3: name was Frank, and he said, Frank, everything is going great.

512
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:50,480
Speaker 3: That's great. I want to give you a new responsibility.

513
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 3: You will have to reach out to other ministries in

514
00:34:54,239 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 3: the French speaking nations and to collect different bdcast stuff

515
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:05,239
Speaker 3: shows and we will broadcast them on the channel. And

516
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 3: when he said that, I felt such an comfort in

517
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:11,959
Speaker 3: my heart because I knew that my story was very

518
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 3: well known in the French speaking nations. So I was like, well,

519
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 3: I need to talk to you, and he said okay.

520
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:22,839
Speaker 3: We went in a little room and I talked to him.

521
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:26,640
Speaker 3: I said, well, you know, before being a man, I

522
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:32,760
Speaker 3: was a woman. And he stopped it. He was laughing,

523
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 3: and I was like, why are you laughing. He said,

524
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:39,440
Speaker 3: it's not possible, and you know, it was not believing me.

525
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:42,399
Speaker 3: For sure, you will see the picture and for sure

526
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:45,440
Speaker 3: it's not It was like, no, I can't believe and

527
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:48,719
Speaker 3: I said yes. It wasn't even aware that it was

528
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 3: possible for people to change sex. So he was in shock.

529
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 3: And when I said, please stop laughing, it's not funny

530
00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 3: at all, he said, well, give me a second, and

531
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 3: he came back with other leaders from the ministry and

532
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:05,880
Speaker 3: I started to share my story again. And I remember

533
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 3: this moment, Becket, because you know from that moment, before

534
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:14,879
Speaker 3: that moment, I was always subject to rejection. But when

535
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:18,279
Speaker 3: I shared my story to those leaders, I remember one

536
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:21,680
Speaker 3: of the leaders he stood up and came and he

537
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:26,280
Speaker 3: looked at me, and in his eyes I was able

538
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:33,160
Speaker 3: to see Jesus, to see his love, and he started

539
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:37,240
Speaker 3: crying and he hugged me and we cried and wheped together,

540
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:42,760
Speaker 3: and they never said anything about that. You have to repent.

541
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:47,719
Speaker 3: You are living insane. They just loved us. But for

542
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:52,799
Speaker 3: sure that the boundaries to protect the ministry. And as

543
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 3: I love to say, when you are living with people

544
00:36:55,719 --> 00:37:00,319
Speaker 3: in fire, this fire is maybe too hot for you,

545
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:04,880
Speaker 3: so you will live. Or this fire is such an

546
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 3: inspiration for you, and you want to have the same fire.

547
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 3: And so this happened in November. And then we are

548
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:18,040
Speaker 3: in May twenty sixteen, and I'm here in this little

549
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:21,920
Speaker 3: room and I saw the fire they had, these guys,

550
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:25,400
Speaker 3: and I wanted the same fire. And I'm hearing this

551
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:29,759
Speaker 3: little room, seeking God and praying God with all my heart.

552
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:35,160
Speaker 3: And I said to the Lord God, I love your blessings,

553
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:40,720
Speaker 3: I love your hands, but I want more. I want you.

554
00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:45,920
Speaker 3: And I was like desperate. I was, I'm desperate for you, Lord,

555
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 3: I want you. And I think I prayed with the

556
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:55,479
Speaker 3: same intensity or the same heart then I was. When

557
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:57,840
Speaker 3: I prayed, I was seven, and I asked God to

558
00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:02,160
Speaker 3: really up to me. Actually I prayed with all my heart.

559
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:06,880
Speaker 3: And as I prayed this, I heard this inside, Frank,

560
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:11,560
Speaker 3: you want more of me. In the condition you are,

561
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 3: you are at the higher level of what you can

562
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 3: have from me. If you want more of me, there

563
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:24,920
Speaker 3: is a price to pay, and he will add two things.

564
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 3: First one, if you trust me, I will restore you

565
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:35,000
Speaker 3: in your formal identity, and the second one, if you

566
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:39,720
Speaker 3: don't change, my love for you will not change either.

567
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 3: And Beckett, the silence there in this room was so

568
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 3: loud because everything started to run into my head and

569
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:59,240
Speaker 3: I was like, I knew exactly what God was speaking about.

570
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 3: I knew exactly what it was offering me. I knew

571
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:07,719
Speaker 3: it was a choice putting in front of me. But

572
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 3: at the same time, I just realized the price of it.

573
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:17,040
Speaker 3: I just realized that it was getting into divorce. I

574
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:23,360
Speaker 3: loved her so much. I never imagined divorcing her, so

575
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:26,759
Speaker 3: it was like divorce. And then I was like being

576
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:29,239
Speaker 3: a woman. I don't know what it means and what

577
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:31,439
Speaker 3: it looks like, and I'm afraid of it. I don't

578
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 3: want to be a woman. I'm not And I was

579
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:37,560
Speaker 3: like afraid, and I was like but at the same time,

580
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 3: it's like if the veil was removed. It was if

581
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:45,200
Speaker 3: this slide and I was living in from for thirty

582
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:49,680
Speaker 3: six years was removed, I was able to see me

583
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:55,959
Speaker 3: as he was seeing me. I was a woman, even

584
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 3: if I was disguised. You know, I was with stuff

585
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:03,279
Speaker 3: from a man. It was it was fake for him.

586
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:08,200
Speaker 3: I love this verse in the scripture. It's it's it's

587
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:12,800
Speaker 3: written that in front of him everything is unveiled and

588
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 3: like naked. And I felt like this. I felt naked

589
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:23,279
Speaker 3: in front of him and unveiled everything was and I

590
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 3: was in shock. I can tell you. I was in shock. Yeah,

591
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 3: and so what happened?

592
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:33,759
Speaker 1: So wait, so tell me again. Re rewind a little bit.

593
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:37,560
Speaker 1: So God said to you, he gave you, He said,

594
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:45,400
Speaker 1: you need to He's he said, there, if you trust me,

595
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:47,640
Speaker 1: there's gonna be a price to pay, and you need to.

596
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 1: I'm going to re restore you to your former identity.

597
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,840
Speaker 3: If you trust me, I would restore yet but he

598
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:55,360
Speaker 3: but he.

599
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:59,480
Speaker 1: Also said, if you stay trans I still love.

600
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:03,600
Speaker 3: You absolutely his love will not change. And actually that

601
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:07,799
Speaker 3: showed me that I had the choice. Maybe I will

602
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:10,600
Speaker 3: stay like okay, I will stay in my life because

603
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:13,719
Speaker 3: I love my life and the love of God will

604
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:19,200
Speaker 3: still remain. And for sure, it was because God loves

605
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 3: us so much. He loves everyone, even the sinner, but

606
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 3: he doesn't like sin. So it's not about his love changing.

607
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 3: It's maybe more about my love. Will my love change

608
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 3: to come to a place where I will be ready

609
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 3: to pay the price.

610
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,759
Speaker 1: So it was almost like he was saying, if you

611
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 1: want to be really, if you want to have a

612
00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 1: closer relationship with me, you need to change.

613
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:56,799
Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely, It's like it's like if there is there

614
00:41:56,880 --> 00:42:01,800
Speaker 3: is a level where you cannot go first order or

615
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:06,520
Speaker 3: deeper into a relationship with him if you still are

616
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 3: living in a lifestyle which is the sin. It's a choice.

617
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,319
Speaker 3: You can't stay as you are if you want, it's

618
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:16,200
Speaker 3: not a problem. If you want to stay like this,

619
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 3: there is consequences, and I can tell you back at

620
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:25,360
Speaker 3: the consequence I knew was also for my eternity. I

621
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 3: knew this because at that moment I remember asking sometimes,

622
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:36,800
Speaker 3: you know, before sleeping, I was imagining myself dying and

623
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:41,360
Speaker 3: being in front of God. And sometimes I was asking

624
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 3: myself and even talking to my wife and saying, you know,

625
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:49,400
Speaker 3: I'm not sure. I'm not sure I will go through this.

626
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 3: I'm not sure God will receive me in heaven. For eternity.

627
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:59,400
Speaker 3: I was not sure I was living as a Christian.

628
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:01,720
Speaker 3: I was seeing a lot of fruits in my life.

629
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:05,319
Speaker 3: But if you read in Matthew seven, you will see

630
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 3: that the fruits are not the sign of God's approval.

631
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:12,200
Speaker 3: And that's a problem. Sometimes we see a lot of

632
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 3: fruits and we think it's okay, I can still I

633
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:18,920
Speaker 3: can still live my life like I am. But it's

634
00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:23,840
Speaker 3: so dangerous because fruits are just a consequence of God's

635
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:28,320
Speaker 3: love and principle that if you are living into God's principle,

636
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 3: you will see fruits. As for instance, if you are

637
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:37,880
Speaker 3: sewing something in the earth on the ground with the

638
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:42,440
Speaker 3: sun and water, it's gonna produce something because it's a

639
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:47,360
Speaker 3: rule that God created in the nature that if you

640
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:49,880
Speaker 3: saw something in the ground and take care of it,

641
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 3: it's gonna grow. So but it's not because it's growing

642
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 3: that God is approving what you're doing. And I was

643
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:02,160
Speaker 3: in this lie, and I can tell you there is

644
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:05,040
Speaker 3: this verse when he said, at that time, a lot

645
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:07,960
Speaker 3: will say, Lord Lord, we did this, we prophesied, we

646
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 3: did that, and it would tell him I don't know you. Yeah.

647
00:44:13,719 --> 00:44:15,799
Speaker 1: Wait, let me let me get this clear one more time,

648
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:20,560
Speaker 1: because this is very important. So are you saying that

649
00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:25,759
Speaker 1: if you had stayed trans do you believe that you

650
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 1: would have gone to heaven?

651
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:30,680
Speaker 3: Actually, I will tell you what I do believe in

652
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:31,280
Speaker 3: my heart.

653
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:36,800
Speaker 1: No, okay, that's good. I didn't any clarification on that.

654
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:41,759
Speaker 1: So when you say that God said you know I

655
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:46,280
Speaker 1: will still love you, it didn't mean I will still

656
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:49,840
Speaker 1: welcome you into my eternal kingdom.

657
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:55,719
Speaker 3: No. God loves everyone, but not everybody will be saved. Yes,

658
00:44:56,239 --> 00:45:00,759
Speaker 3: it's according to the choice you will make. Two. Surrender.

659
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:05,520
Speaker 3: It's all about surrendering your life to Jesus. And I

660
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:08,680
Speaker 3: can tell you today I know the difference between having

661
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:14,279
Speaker 3: Jesus as a savior who it was he was my savior. Yes, Lord,

662
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:17,160
Speaker 3: I do believe in you. But the scripture said that

663
00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 3: even demons believe in God, that they are afraid of him.

664
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:27,240
Speaker 3: You know what I mean because they know. Yes, absolutely,

665
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 3: So I came from a place where God was my savior,

666
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:38,640
Speaker 3: but then it became my Lord. And this is why

667
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:42,280
Speaker 3: now I know that I will not have been saved

668
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 3: because I was living my life like my own life,

669
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:51,800
Speaker 3: according to my own desire. Two I was, I was

670
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 3: my own God. You know, if we go back to

671
00:45:56,280 --> 00:46:01,760
Speaker 3: Isire forty five, verse nine, I was finding with God choosing.

672
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 3: It's like a bird working on a glass, and this

673
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:07,840
Speaker 3: glass is saying I'm not a glass, I'm a plate.

674
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:13,719
Speaker 3: And I was like this, I was rebellion. I wasn't

675
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 3: too deep. Rebellion absolutely, and I never saw that before.

676
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:21,840
Speaker 3: It's just when the veil was removed, when I started

677
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:25,640
Speaker 3: to seek God, when I asked him what was the

678
00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:31,080
Speaker 3: genesis of all this stuff? And he answered me rebellion?

679
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:34,719
Speaker 3: And I was in shock. I was like, how is

680
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:39,840
Speaker 3: it possible? Actually? I was my own God, yes, living

681
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:40,520
Speaker 3: for myself.

682
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:44,560
Speaker 1: And so how did this so how did you break

683
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 1: this news to your wife? And what happened after that?

684
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:49,400
Speaker 1: How did this all unravel?

685
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:53,680
Speaker 3: Okay? So I went out the room. I was in shock.

686
00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:58,280
Speaker 3: I shared with her. She was in shock, and she said, honey,

687
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:01,760
Speaker 3: all the promises we will see when we get married.

688
00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:05,439
Speaker 3: And I said, yes, I know, but please seek God

689
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,320
Speaker 3: if he spoke to me. I don't want to harden

690
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:13,280
Speaker 3: my heart myself any longer. And she said, well, okay,

691
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:17,959
Speaker 3: and we will go into a one week crazy week.

692
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:21,880
Speaker 3: I can tell you where we will really seek God,

693
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:25,359
Speaker 3: and every time I will read the Bible. Every time.

694
00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:28,640
Speaker 3: It's going to be like die to self. You know,

695
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:32,320
Speaker 3: when police saying it's no longer who me, who leaves

696
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:35,400
Speaker 3: it's Jesus living in me, Christ living in me, or

697
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:38,800
Speaker 3: in Romans twelve. When you see it, do not be

698
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:43,680
Speaker 3: confirmed to this world, but be transformed. And I'm like,

699
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:46,239
Speaker 3: by the renewing of your mind. And I was like, ah,

700
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:49,840
Speaker 3: everything in the Bible was speaking to me, everything, and

701
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:52,880
Speaker 3: the same to her. And after one week, at the

702
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 3: end of the week, we knew that we knew that

703
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:57,720
Speaker 3: we knew that we were in front of a choice,

704
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:04,360
Speaker 3: but that the best for us was to surrender. So

705
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:12,640
Speaker 3: as well, yes, absolutely, oh yes, praise God. Yes absolutely.

706
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:17,000
Speaker 3: But it was very hard because as for me, I

707
00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:21,640
Speaker 3: will say I had to die to frank to the

708
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:27,760
Speaker 3: life I had created, to the representation I had from myself,

709
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:33,880
Speaker 3: my marriage, everything, my reputation. But as for her also

710
00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:37,759
Speaker 3: she was losing her husband. She had to grieve her

711
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:41,319
Speaker 3: husband and it was still alive, but about to die.

712
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:44,080
Speaker 3: It was very weird and very hard for her too.

713
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:48,239
Speaker 3: Absolutely so it was. But what I loved about this

714
00:48:48,719 --> 00:48:52,680
Speaker 3: is that we started to date together, and because we

715
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:56,839
Speaker 3: loved us together, we get married, and because we went

716
00:48:56,960 --> 00:49:01,880
Speaker 3: to love Jesus more than ourselves, we died together. And

717
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:06,200
Speaker 3: praise God for that. So you got divorced, yes, we

718
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:09,680
Speaker 3: went back to Switzerland. We did a divorce, every stuff

719
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:15,520
Speaker 3: for that, and then I went back alone in Canada

720
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:20,480
Speaker 3: to start the transitioning process. So to be honest with you,

721
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:23,840
Speaker 3: at the beginning, I didn't want this at all. I

722
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:27,239
Speaker 3: knew it was what I was supposed to do. I

723
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:30,600
Speaker 3: knew it was the best, but my heart was not

724
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:36,160
Speaker 3: completely in it. I started to be frustrated with God.

725
00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:41,560
Speaker 3: I was angry after him. I was like, you destroyed

726
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:45,680
Speaker 3: my life. I lost everything, and I was very frustrated

727
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:51,360
Speaker 3: and I started to I went through a six months trial,

728
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:56,719
Speaker 3: very hard because the devil was absolutely not happy with

729
00:49:56,920 --> 00:50:00,799
Speaker 3: my choice, and I started to go through a lot

730
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:07,800
Speaker 3: of oppressions, desire to kill myself again. But it was

731
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:11,320
Speaker 3: really demonic, I can tell you, because I was like,

732
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:14,080
Speaker 3: for instance, I woke up in the night and I

733
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:18,919
Speaker 3: was and I saw myself hanging or in the water,

734
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 3: you know, dying into the water, stuff like this. You know, oppression, absolutely, oppression,

735
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:27,520
Speaker 3: a lot of oppressions. And then I started to drink

736
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:33,520
Speaker 3: a lot because alcohol was helping me to just be

737
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:38,239
Speaker 3: more calm inside and be able to sleep a little bit.

738
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:41,720
Speaker 3: So I was just you know, on a fine line

739
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:46,880
Speaker 3: between life and death. My weight get bread down and

740
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:51,800
Speaker 3: I didn't want to live anymore any longer. And it

741
00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:55,160
Speaker 3: went to a time of I went through a deliverance.

742
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:58,600
Speaker 3: I remember this man of God came to the church,

743
00:50:59,239 --> 00:51:05,239
Speaker 3: shared in a message and I really wept a lot,

744
00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:11,440
Speaker 3: and I know I was really, you know, deeply visitated

745
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:14,920
Speaker 3: by God. And I started trying crying, and I remember

746
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:18,640
Speaker 3: this deliverance and from that moment on, it's like a

747
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:24,120
Speaker 3: peace starting to come. It's like if I was completely broken.

748
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:27,600
Speaker 3: And from that moment on and I was able to

749
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:33,200
Speaker 3: really deeply surrender to God and said, okay, Lord, you

750
00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:36,120
Speaker 3: spoke to me and I will trust you for you

751
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:39,160
Speaker 3: to do it. I had to come to the place

752
00:51:39,719 --> 00:51:42,680
Speaker 3: to the end of myself where I was no longer

753
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 3: able to try to do it by myself, with fasting

754
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:50,600
Speaker 3: or praying or I was able to do anything nothing.

755
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:54,760
Speaker 3: I was like, I was a big mess. It was terrible.

756
00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:57,200
Speaker 3: I was a big mess. I was just you know,

757
00:51:57,560 --> 00:52:01,480
Speaker 3: praying tongues and saying to Gez, I love you. That

758
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:04,120
Speaker 3: was the only thing I was able to do. And

759
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:10,200
Speaker 3: then I just came to a place where I said

760
00:52:10,239 --> 00:52:14,480
Speaker 3: to the Lord, Okay, you have to make it. You

761
00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:16,799
Speaker 3: have to make it happen. I will not be able

762
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:19,640
Speaker 3: and I will not force myself to go into it,

763
00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:22,800
Speaker 3: because I know that if I try to force myself,

764
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 3: I will kill myself. And the only thing the Lord

765
00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:33,160
Speaker 3: did was actually God did everything. But what I was

766
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:36,719
Speaker 3: about to tell you is just. It was if it

767
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:40,640
Speaker 3: was giving me just one step at a time, and

768
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:45,799
Speaker 3: every time I was moving into this direction of obedience,

769
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:53,640
Speaker 3: God was acting in a tremendous way with miracles. For instance,

770
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:57,239
Speaker 3: after a few months, I saw that my feelings and

771
00:52:57,360 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 3: my love for my wife disappeared. And I can tell

772
00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:05,560
Speaker 3: you this was huge packet because we were so in

773
00:53:05,760 --> 00:53:10,279
Speaker 3: love together. And I remember I was driving my car

774
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:12,560
Speaker 3: and I was crying out to the Lord, how do

775
00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:15,520
Speaker 3: you want me to live without her? How do you want?

776
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:19,759
Speaker 3: And he said, Frank, you said so often that you

777
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:22,520
Speaker 3: were able, you will be able to die for her.

778
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:29,320
Speaker 3: It's now. And I was like, oh wow, And I

779
00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 3: stopped crying now and I said, okay, Lord, I surrendered

780
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 3: this to you. I will no longer be a husband

781
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:41,480
Speaker 3: for her. You will be her husband. And I started

782
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:44,920
Speaker 3: to do that, to surrender this part. And because of that,

783
00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:48,000
Speaker 3: I could see that my love for her changed. My

784
00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:53,640
Speaker 3: feelings for her changed completely. Then I started to go

785
00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:58,360
Speaker 3: for a laser treatment to remove my beard. And because

786
00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:04,440
Speaker 3: I did that, I could see that God was moving

787
00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:08,520
Speaker 3: inside of me to change the perspective I had from

788
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:13,680
Speaker 3: myself little by little. Really it was a slow motion stuff,

789
00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:17,880
Speaker 3: I can tell you because it's my soul had to

790
00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:23,640
Speaker 3: be remodeled, my way of thinking. I really lived the

791
00:54:23,880 --> 00:54:29,640
Speaker 3: Roman twelve verse two. It was really a reformating work

792
00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:33,840
Speaker 3: of God in my mind, in my emotions. It was

793
00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:37,239
Speaker 3: to learn how to live in the spirit and no

794
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:43,719
Speaker 3: longer in my soul. And I remember then after a

795
00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:47,920
Speaker 3: few months that I saw my attraction for women stopped

796
00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:54,359
Speaker 3: becker from my I don't remember. Maybe I was five

797
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:58,680
Speaker 3: six years old. I was attracted to women, and there

798
00:54:58,960 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 3: I said that I was no longer attracted to them,

799
00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:06,400
Speaker 3: and I was like, this is huge, this is huge.

800
00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:12,160
Speaker 3: And I was like wow. And then I remember one

801
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:14,640
Speaker 3: day the Lord spoke to me and said, well, I

802
00:55:14,680 --> 00:55:16,560
Speaker 3: would like for you to shave your legs.

803
00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:22,880
Speaker 4: I was like no, you know, I was very I

804
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 4: had a lot of hair. I was like, no, I

805
00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:27,720
Speaker 4: don't want But anyway, I called a friend of mine.

806
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:29,560
Speaker 4: She came and she had me to do that.

807
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:33,960
Speaker 3: And when we were done, I was like, you.

808
00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:37,400
Speaker 4: Know, I feel like I'm naked, and I was like, okay,

809
00:55:37,680 --> 00:55:41,279
Speaker 4: it's cold, but anyway, I was happy I did what

810
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:42,600
Speaker 4: he wanted me to do.

811
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:46,600
Speaker 3: And I remember then I left the house and I

812
00:55:46,719 --> 00:55:49,560
Speaker 3: went to visit a friend of mine and I was

813
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:54,160
Speaker 3: driving the car and suddenly I felt like the glory

814
00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:58,960
Speaker 3: of God hitting the car. It was hot in the car.

815
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:03,080
Speaker 3: When I said glory its presence, you know, in a

816
00:56:03,239 --> 00:56:06,719
Speaker 3: tangible way. It was so hot in the car. And

817
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:10,399
Speaker 3: I was like, holy Spirit, what's going on? And he said,

818
00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:14,600
Speaker 3: I'm just letting you feel just a little dad a dad,

819
00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:19,800
Speaker 3: of the joy you have made to your father. And

820
00:56:19,960 --> 00:56:23,120
Speaker 3: I was like what. And you know there is this

821
00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:25,920
Speaker 3: verse in the scripture the joy of the Lord will

822
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:29,719
Speaker 3: be your strength. And actually this came to a new

823
00:56:29,840 --> 00:56:33,320
Speaker 3: level of understanding. It was a haha moment when I

824
00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:38,480
Speaker 3: was like, Okay, when I obey, I am creating joy

825
00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:42,799
Speaker 3: to my father's heart. And when I see this joy,

826
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:48,080
Speaker 3: I find the strength to obey even more. And that's why,

827
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:52,480
Speaker 3: step by step, little by little, I changed my name.

828
00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:56,200
Speaker 3: I went to see a surgeon to stay to see

829
00:56:56,239 --> 00:56:59,480
Speaker 3: if we could do something, and I just want to

830
00:56:59,560 --> 00:57:05,080
Speaker 3: make a better renties here going through surgery. It's not

831
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:09,240
Speaker 3: a game. And if you listen today, it's not a game.

832
00:57:10,480 --> 00:57:15,759
Speaker 3: It's irreversible. You cannot be a woman again completely or

833
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:19,120
Speaker 3: a man again. And here again it's not it's not

834
00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:23,400
Speaker 3: a game. So I did whatever I could, but I'm

835
00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:28,560
Speaker 3: still living in a very weird body. My body is mutilated,

836
00:57:29,360 --> 00:57:34,040
Speaker 3: and I still have consequences in my life every day.

837
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:39,080
Speaker 3: For instance, my voice I cannot be you know, every

838
00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:41,920
Speaker 3: time I do a phone call, it's like, hi, mister,

839
00:57:42,200 --> 00:57:45,880
Speaker 3: and I'm like, no, it's missus. Okay, Oh sorry, missus

840
00:57:45,960 --> 00:57:49,040
Speaker 3: Kristen okay. And at the end of the phone call,

841
00:57:49,400 --> 00:57:51,960
Speaker 3: bye bye, mister, and I'm like, come on, it's missus.

842
00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:56,520
Speaker 3: You know. Yeah, it's like so it's not a game.

843
00:57:56,680 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 3: But actually today I don't care because I just know

844
00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:06,760
Speaker 3: I'm making his joy and for me, that's more than enough.

845
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:12,840
Speaker 3: I'm just amazed to, you know, to see what God

846
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:16,240
Speaker 3: has done to transform the way I'm thinking and the

847
00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:19,680
Speaker 3: way I'm perceiving myself. And it came to the place

848
00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:23,920
Speaker 3: where He really changed the way I was seeing me,

849
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:28,680
Speaker 3: and I remember it happened like a miracle it was

850
00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:31,840
Speaker 3: a miracle. Actually, I was in a flight in a

851
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:38,160
Speaker 3: plane flying to Canada. When I left Switzerland, I was still,

852
00:58:38,840 --> 00:58:43,000
Speaker 3: you know, loving the clothes for men. And I was

853
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:45,400
Speaker 3: like at the end of myself, saying, Lord, I did

854
00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:48,560
Speaker 3: whatever I could, but now there is still my my

855
00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:52,960
Speaker 3: my pleasure is to still wear men clothes. And I'm

856
00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:56,480
Speaker 3: like this need to be healed. And I don't know

857
00:58:56,640 --> 00:59:01,080
Speaker 3: how to add well, I left Switzerland and somewhere between

858
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:06,120
Speaker 3: Earth and Heaven, when I was in that flight, something

859
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:09,760
Speaker 3: changed completely. I cannot tell you what, but what I

860
00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:14,160
Speaker 3: know is that when I landed in Canada, my only

861
00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:18,240
Speaker 3: desire was to wear women clothes. And it was for

862
00:59:18,720 --> 00:59:22,320
Speaker 3: the first time of my life and I was thirty seven. Wow,

863
00:59:23,040 --> 00:59:27,680
Speaker 3: and it was a miracle. I remember these pastors. They

864
00:59:27,760 --> 00:59:29,920
Speaker 3: came to pick me up at the airport and they

865
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:31,880
Speaker 3: were sharing a lot of stuff with me in the

866
00:59:31,960 --> 00:59:34,840
Speaker 3: car and I was like, I don't care, Please bring

867
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:38,280
Speaker 3: me to a shopping center. And I was the first

868
00:59:38,320 --> 00:59:40,840
Speaker 3: time of my life. I was like, I'm really a woman.

869
00:59:40,880 --> 00:59:44,919
Speaker 3: I want to go shopping. I did never before, never

870
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:47,720
Speaker 3: so never ever, so for me it was like I

871
00:59:47,880 --> 00:59:51,280
Speaker 3: knew God has done this. And the last thing that

872
00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:55,880
Speaker 3: really changed completely. I was in a church and this

873
00:59:56,200 --> 01:00:00,040
Speaker 3: man came to preach and I looked at him, and

874
01:00:00,240 --> 01:00:04,720
Speaker 3: something happened deep inside of me. I knew it was single,

875
01:00:05,680 --> 01:00:10,440
Speaker 3: and I started to feel attraction for him, and I

876
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:14,480
Speaker 3: was like, what what is what is that? And I

877
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:18,280
Speaker 3: just saw I just knew what it was. And I

878
01:00:18,480 --> 01:00:24,200
Speaker 3: remembered this word of God, if you trust me, I

879
01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:27,440
Speaker 3: will restore you in your formal identity, and I knew that.

880
01:00:27,600 --> 01:00:31,800
Speaker 3: I knew at that moment, God has made it. It

881
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:35,760
Speaker 3: was it was okay, it was done, everything was it

882
01:00:35,920 --> 01:00:41,720
Speaker 3: was okay. Wow. And so now it's it's amazing for

883
01:00:41,880 --> 01:00:46,960
Speaker 3: me because I don't have to fight again attraction. I

884
01:00:47,040 --> 01:00:51,680
Speaker 3: don't have to I don't have to deal anymore with

885
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:56,800
Speaker 3: the same sex attraction. And this is this is amazing

886
01:00:56,920 --> 01:01:00,280
Speaker 3: to me. This is such a deliverance, you know. Yeah,

887
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:03,760
Speaker 3: because I was, Yeah, I was. I was suffering for sure.

888
01:01:04,640 --> 01:01:07,720
Speaker 1: And so because people are, they're going to be watching

889
01:01:07,800 --> 01:01:10,400
Speaker 1: and they're going to be confused by one thing. Well,

890
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:12,160
Speaker 1: I just want to go back to one thing. You

891
01:01:12,440 --> 01:01:16,800
Speaker 1: said a couple of times. So when when you were

892
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:21,680
Speaker 1: hearing from the Lord, you said that he I mean

893
01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:24,280
Speaker 1: you you mentioned like he called you by your name,

894
01:01:24,400 --> 01:01:28,320
Speaker 1: the name Frank, did he so he used that name

895
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:29,680
Speaker 1: rather than your real name.

896
01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:33,440
Speaker 3: That was what I was hearing in my heart. But

897
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:36,720
Speaker 3: I think because it was also you know, God is

898
01:01:36,800 --> 01:01:39,600
Speaker 3: so good when he wants to speak to you, he

899
01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:41,880
Speaker 3: will speak to you by your way. You will be

900
01:01:41,960 --> 01:01:46,240
Speaker 3: able to listen. M okay. And I'm not saying this

901
01:01:46,600 --> 01:01:49,960
Speaker 3: to say, well it was approving me like this, but

902
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:54,959
Speaker 3: I think I actually that was that's what I heard,

903
01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:57,880
Speaker 3: and maybe because that's what I wanted to hear. I

904
01:01:57,960 --> 01:02:01,640
Speaker 3: don't know. But actually, but I can tell you I

905
01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:04,600
Speaker 3: never no longer hear this, absolutely not.

906
01:02:07,800 --> 01:02:12,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, okay, and so well that's amazing. I mean

907
01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:17,200
Speaker 1: it is. God is. He's just so powerful and he

908
01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:21,520
Speaker 1: can do and he can heal anyone and bring anyone.

909
01:02:21,760 --> 01:02:24,720
Speaker 1: So tell us about as we close, so we're running

910
01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:28,320
Speaker 1: out of time, tell us about your book that's coming

911
01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:31,800
Speaker 1: out and about transfer freedom that sure.

912
01:02:32,440 --> 01:02:35,120
Speaker 3: Sure, yes, I wrote a book in French. The name is.

913
01:02:36,280 --> 01:02:38,600
Speaker 3: I believe that I was a man in French, but

914
01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:43,440
Speaker 3: now we have this coming out trends now transformed. So

915
01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:46,040
Speaker 3: it's my book in French but translated into English and

916
01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:49,920
Speaker 3: very well done. I can tell you this this person,

917
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:53,160
Speaker 3: they did a great job. And this is the story

918
01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:56,800
Speaker 3: of what we share together. How God really spoke to

919
01:02:56,920 --> 01:03:00,520
Speaker 3: me and transformed my entire life. This book will be

920
01:03:00,560 --> 01:03:07,600
Speaker 3: available on Amazon December the first I'm excited, Yes, absolutely good.

921
01:03:07,720 --> 01:03:09,560
Speaker 1: And then tell us about transfer Freedom.

922
01:03:10,160 --> 01:03:14,720
Speaker 3: So, yeah, when God spoke to me in twenty sixteen,

923
01:03:15,680 --> 01:03:22,160
Speaker 3: he really showed me that this story will be shared worldwide,

924
01:03:22,640 --> 01:03:26,440
Speaker 3: and it put into my heart to create a ministry

925
01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:32,560
Speaker 3: association organization. The name is trends Now sorry, transfer Freedom,

926
01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:37,520
Speaker 3: So trends number four Transfer Freedom, So you can visit

927
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:43,200
Speaker 3: transfer freedom dot org. And so it's the website. Actually

928
01:03:43,440 --> 01:03:47,360
Speaker 3: I share. I go everywhere where I'm invited, invited.

929
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:48,520
Speaker 1: I just went.

930
01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:51,560
Speaker 3: I just was in Texas for my first conference in

931
01:03:51,640 --> 01:03:57,160
Speaker 3: the US in this last two weeks. Yeah, and that

932
01:03:57,400 --> 01:04:00,560
Speaker 3: was an amazing, very great conference. So I go everywhere

933
01:04:00,680 --> 01:04:03,040
Speaker 3: I share this story what God has done for me.

934
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:07,480
Speaker 3: And I saw I see a lot of people touched,

935
01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:10,800
Speaker 3: you know, by the Father's love for them and like

936
01:04:11,280 --> 01:04:15,760
Speaker 3: lies being removed, veil has been removed. This is amazing

937
01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:20,880
Speaker 3: and it's not just about being trends or homosexual. Really,

938
01:04:21,040 --> 01:04:25,600
Speaker 3: God is working deeply into the identity to bring you

939
01:04:25,840 --> 01:04:29,720
Speaker 3: back to his formal desire for you. We can see

940
01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:34,360
Speaker 3: that the devil is coming to destroy your life and

941
01:04:34,480 --> 01:04:38,000
Speaker 3: to kill your destiny, and it's what he's doing right

942
01:04:38,080 --> 01:04:41,520
Speaker 3: now very good way. But actually God is here to

943
01:04:41,680 --> 01:04:44,520
Speaker 3: restore you and to bring him to bring you back

944
01:04:44,600 --> 01:04:48,240
Speaker 3: to his desire for you, for your destiny, and for

945
01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:52,720
Speaker 3: you to be a messenger around your neighborhood to the

946
01:04:52,840 --> 01:04:55,840
Speaker 3: people where you are. And so for me, it's really

947
01:04:55,920 --> 01:04:58,920
Speaker 3: a huge privilege to go everywhere to share this and

948
01:04:59,120 --> 01:05:03,720
Speaker 3: bring this to people. I also have personal encounter with

949
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:07,520
Speaker 3: people meanings through our online you know. So this is

950
01:05:07,680 --> 01:05:14,240
Speaker 3: great to see God moving into lives and especially also

951
01:05:14,720 --> 01:05:18,160
Speaker 3: I love to do that I go into conferences and

952
01:05:18,400 --> 01:05:23,920
Speaker 3: especially for young people. This generation is just a target

953
01:05:24,160 --> 01:05:27,040
Speaker 3: for the devil, and so I'm amazed to see what

954
01:05:27,240 --> 01:05:31,600
Speaker 3: God is doing to bring them to their real identity,

955
01:05:32,200 --> 01:05:36,520
Speaker 3: to heal their heart, to receive God's love in order

956
01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:40,840
Speaker 3: to be a mature people because they will be called

957
01:05:40,920 --> 01:05:44,320
Speaker 3: to be father and mother. So you don't want to

958
01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:47,800
Speaker 3: replicate what you've been through. You want to receive healing

959
01:05:48,280 --> 01:05:51,840
Speaker 3: and to be a messenger of healing around your neighborhood

960
01:05:51,880 --> 01:05:55,600
Speaker 3: and everywhere, So this is great to bring this everywhere

961
01:05:55,640 --> 01:05:56,960
Speaker 3: I go. Praise God for that.

962
01:05:57,480 --> 01:06:00,520
Speaker 1: Amazing, amazing, Well, we're going to put the We'll link

963
01:06:00,600 --> 01:06:04,320
Speaker 1: below to the book and to the Transfer Freedom website.

964
01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:07,960
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Jenik for coming on the show

965
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:09,480
Speaker 1: and sharing your story. I appreciate it.

966
01:06:10,040 --> 01:06:12,240
Speaker 3: Thank you for inviting me. It's such an honor. And

967
01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:15,080
Speaker 3: thank you Bake It again for what you're doing. It's amazing.

968
01:06:15,280 --> 01:06:16,840
Speaker 1: Really, Praise God.

969
01:06:20,200 --> 01:06:22,600
Speaker 2: Thank you for listening to this episode of The Beckett

970
01:06:22,600 --> 01:06:27,880
Speaker 2: Cook Show. Your support makes this content possible. All episodes

971
01:06:27,920 --> 01:06:30,840
Speaker 2: of The Beckett Cook Show are also available on YouTube.

972
01:06:31,920 --> 01:06:35,040
Speaker 2: For more information about Beckett and his ministry, visit his

973
01:06:35,160 --> 01:06:37,120
Speaker 2: website at Becketcook dot com.

974
01:06:38,560 --> 01:06:40,440
Speaker 1: Thank you to the team at Life Audio for their

975
01:06:40,480 --> 01:06:43,360
Speaker 1: partnership with us. If you go to lifeaudio dot com,

976
01:06:43,480 --> 01:06:47,520
Speaker 1: you will find more faith centered podcasts about prayer, Bible study, parenting,

977
01:06:47,640 --> 01:06:47,920
Speaker 1: and more.