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Speaker 1: Welcome to Hope for the Journey, the podcast for women over forty who are ready to rise, rebuild, and reclaim their story. I'm your host, Monica, and each week you'll hear real, raw comeback stories from women who have walked through the fire and found purpose on the other side. If you're navigating change, chasing a dream, or simply searching for your next.

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Speaker 2: Step, you're not alone.

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Speaker 1: This is your place for courage, community, and the reminder that it's never too late to rewrite the end. Today on Hope for the Journey, this episode is for the Christian woman who has tried everything, and I'm calling it making peace with your body. I'll be back with that in just a moment, right after a word from our sponsors. Hi, I'm Monica, and this is Hope for the Journey, and this episode is for every woman that's tried everything, gained weight, lost weight, and somehow it's just never enough. I'm joined today by a fellow Life Audio podcaster, Heather Creek Moore. Heather, good to have you here today.

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Speaker 2: It's great to be with you, Monica.

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Speaker 1: I really appreciate this and I appreciate the conversation. This month, I Hope with the journey. We're talking about for the month letting go to live free, and I really think that making peace with our body can be a great part of that. I'm delighted to be a part of your forty day challenge and guys will put all of that good stuff in the link. You know, this podcast is for women over forty, and I think at any age body image can be such a thing. And Heather, she's a speaker, she's an author. She also coaches women and helps women like me and like you who look in the mirror and wonder about what we see and try harder to have the perfect body, whatever that is, and like it just doesn't happen. So Heather, again, I appreciate the conversation, and I thought maybe we could just start with a little bit about your journey, because you have not been exempt for this yourself.

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Speaker 2: No, in fact, I don't think I would be qualified to talk about it, but I hadn't journey through it myself. But you know, Monica, my journey started well before the aging process set in. I remember being in about the third grade and looking in the mirror and deciding my legs were too big, and so by middle school, my mom was a dieter. By middle school, I was doing whatever diet she was doing. So I was, you know, dragged to weight watchers meetings and church basements and tried the slim fast shakes and all the things right, the juice fast, you name it, I tried it. And by the time I got to high school, I'm, you know, type a overachiever, which I find is fairly common among women with body I magissues, quite honestly, And so by the time I got to high school, I was like, well, I can do better than just dieting. I don't need to eat. And so what that started for me was just going long periods of time, like I could get up and get out the door and be at school all day and you know, avoid eating all day. But then I would get home in the evening, and of course my teenage body was revenously hungry, and I guess I should be grateful that I was unsuccessful at starving myself, But then I would eat everything in sight and Monica, I remember distinctly going to bed, I feeling like I had failed because I had eaten, even though I promised myself I wouldn't eat. And that continued for me well into college. By my sophomore of college, I lost my period for about nine months, which now most professionals could recognize as a sign of an eating disorder. It's called hypothalamica menorrhea. But at the time the doctor said, you're just stressed, don't worry about it. College is stressful. And so because I didn't have clear anorexia where I was underweight, and because I wasn't vomiting, I didn't qualify for bolimia. They had no idea I had an eating disorder. There wasn't really a category for people like me who were just always on the next diet, and so that really continued for me. I got married at thirty thought getting married would fix it. Oh. I was so hopeful that my husband was going to fix my body image issues because you know, finally, if I had a man to affirm that I was good enough, then wouldn't that solve everything? And I think everything got worse after I got married. Honestly, that's a whole episode in and of itself. But this poor man, I'm like, you know, he'd be like, you look nice, and I'd be like, nice isn't good enough. I have to look at the best, you know, so you could just you can never do it right. And it was a big disappointment to me because I really thought they would go away as soon as I had that ring on my finger, and they didn't. And then I got pregnant, and again, Monica, I thought, as soon as I have like people to keep alive, baby, yes, I'm like, that's gonna give me something more important to think about than my weight and my size and my food and my exercise. So I'd bring it on. I just need something better to do, and that'll take these body image issues away. And of course it didn't. And going to the doctor's office felt a whole lot like going to weight watchers with my mom had felt. Getting on that scale, you know, taking off heavy ear rings and going to bathroom seven times before you go in. Just try to make that number a little lighter. It didn't solve it. And then I had four babies in in just over four years. No twins wound that, so I was pregnant for almost five years straight and or breastfeeding, and so really, you know, all the things that I had hoped would take these issues away didn't, And I found myself in my late thirties honestly, cleaning the kitchen. One day, my husband was rain fighter pilot and he was preparing to leave the military to go into full time ministry. And he was listening to a sermon just through our home because no one had those little in ear ear pods AirPods at the time. And I'm listening to this pastor preach about modern day idolatry. And I was raised in the church. I knew the God in Jesus answer from age six. I knew I was fearfully and wonderfully made. I knew that God looked at my heart and not my dress size. I knew all the things. And I should also add in there, Monica, I became a fitness instructor.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, you are an overchie, Heather.

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Speaker 2: I had a full time career, like a sixty seventy hour professional career a week. But I had become a fitness instructor because I thought, at least if I had that credential, then I would know I was good enough. And again it wasn't enough. So I am, let's call it thirty seven years old in my kitchen listening to my husband listen to this sermon. I had never thought about a modern day idle as even a possibility. I mean, we didn't have any statues in our home, so I thought, certainly, I'm not an idolater, that's not a problem. And as I listened to that sermon Monica, the pastor talked about a modern day idol being anything that you believe will save you that's not Jesus. And at first this might kind of sound fuzzy, like what does that have to do with body image? But the Holy Spirit that day revealed to me that I really believed I was safe for heaven right, like I knew God in Jesus solely had me for heaven right. But for now, what I really wanted to save me was just getting everything right physically right, and I knew, I knew it was almost impossible to arrive, and yet boy, that idle kept me chasing. It was the treadmill that never stopped right because you lose the weight and it's like, well, you're not toned enough, or you know, you get your skin clear, but it's like, well now it's kind of looks, you know, saggy, or you can't get your hair just right at the same time your skin is right at the same time your body is right, you know it just there was always something else to be fixed or tweaked or improved. Right. And then there's just the changes of culture, right, because I remember as a fitness instructor, no one wanted a bottom. I was trying to help women work their butts off, literally, and then fifteen years later everyone's in there getting butt implants, trying to have a shapely bottom. I mean, it's like you can't win for losen, right, And so so the Holy Spirit that day kind of spoke to me, like, Heather, this is what you've done. You have made this physical appearance, this dieting, this exercise. You have made your body an idol that you think will somehow save you if you can just get the formula right. And that's not where salvation comes from. And so that day was a big turning point for me. I would love to say I woke up the next morning and I never cared how I looked. Again, that would be a lie, it's not true. But I very much realized, oh, this is a sin problem. I didn't think I had a sin problem. You know, no one wants to have a sin problem. Like I was actually a pretty quote unquote good girl and like I was pretty righteous, like this, if this was a sin, it really wasn't that bad of a one. Right, There's people out there sinning much worse than I was. So but recognizing, oh wait, the heart of this is sin and then having something to confess that was a big turning point for everything, like not just for my body of magi issues, but just in my relationship with the Lord, Like I was final that after that point, I was able to read the Bible and understand it more. I actually enjoyed listening to sermons. I was able to grow in my faith in a way that I had kind of been stagnantant for decades because I was chasing this idol, believing I was doing a Christian life right, but yet so distracted and so committed to this idol that I really was someone who was trying to, you know, follow God and Mammont and I really did have two masters. And God had to.

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Speaker 1: Change that because you know, it's like having two masters, but you really didn't know that you had two masters. And I think, you know, Heather in my journey in my family growing up, so I was the chubby child and I was in a family of thin people. Now we all ate the same kinds of food. So I was like the odd person out, and so there was a lot of teasing, just a lot of things that might have been well intended, I want to say that, but I really took those things in and I just had a lot of body shame. And so I became a Christian at thirteen. But like, not realizing that that's an idol, I kept chasing like ways to make my family proud, like hey, I can actually be thin. I can do this, went to every weight watchers, all these other things, and finally Heather and like when I was in my forties, I lost a lot of weight and I became a thin person. And I could not believe the amount of people that even thought that I had was a better example as a Christian. And I started to see, okay, wait a minute, this is ridiculous, Like I'm getting more attention over this weight loss than over some of major growth that I had done in my life, like forgiving a close friend, for betraying a confidence, or overcoming a hardship in marriage. Just like even in Christendom, this is a thing, like it is an idol, and we may not realize it. It may be with the best of intentions, and then, of course, Heather, I couldn't keep all the weight off. I kept some off, and so then I had to deal with like putting that back on and listening to what people say and feeling like, gosh, Monica, you failed again, and chasing an idol like that. It's exhausting. And I'm sure not just for me and you, I'm sure to all the women that are listening. It's exhausting to try to chase a fantasy. Even when I got to like that size four person that I thought all my problems will be gone, I still thought I was fat, and I would look at the old clothes and it was just like I knew I was crazy. I just didn't know what to do about it. And my husband, like yours, was always very kind. He would say, you look very nice today. I say, no, I don't I look fat, and he'd be like, no, you don't, and I'm like, hey, mane. So I think there are lots of women listening that we don't see it as an idol because it's so like, it's just so embraced, right, you know, even at the start of this year, you know, people have their weight loss goals. And they're this and they're that, and I live at that address to That's why I'm joining your forty day journey because I want to lay this down. I don't want to keep taking it in decade after decade, and because it's harmful to us. It separates, It is a separation from God because that's kind of like our first love is crazy as that seems. So where do we start? Because I know you've journeyed a lot on this, where does a woman listening? Where do we start?

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Speaker 2: Heather? Yeah, you know, so we don't we don't ever want to oversimplify this, right, Like we didn't wake up one morning and decide we're gonna have body magicians. There's a lot of complex things that have gone into this, but really it always comes down to Monica, what do we really believe? And I think this is really difficult for Christian women because I can I use our familiarity, right, We're so familiar with the Gospel and all the God in Jesus answers and God's Word and the scriptures that it's like, in a way we're like, yeah, yeah, that's nice. I believe that. And what I really need is this false gospel of self improvement. And you do not have to look very far to find all the evangelists of the self false gospel of self improvement, right, I mean it's everywhere. Right, There's a major diet company that like presents itself as a Christian company, calling its followers disciples. No, like, we cannot confuse these two things, right, There's nothing wrong with deciding to pursue some health goals, but not at the expense of everything else. And I think what happens in this muddy area of food and body is it becomes so important to us that we think we can pursue it and other things, and it just doesn't actually work out that way. It takes over.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, because what you said right there, taking over it, that is what happened. So when I was finally successful, whatever that is with this journey, it took everything I had. It took right working all day and then going and working out for a really good amount of time. I was usually had a headache and I was mostly hungry, and sometimes the mensus wouldn't start because I had restricted the calories so much, which is so harmful. But yet in my family now, not with my husband, but in my family of origin growing up, they would just be like, well, that's wonderful. I mean, who cares like it doesn't matter how you know, how you feel, they'd say, Monica, it matters how you look. And it was such a thing when I was growing up. Every Sunday we would go to my grandfather's house for dinner, and all the women, even that I was a teenage girl, then went into the living room and we weighed ourselves after dinner. That's crazy. And everybody would say that that was all done in love. But you know, that makes your mind. That is not a healthy image. And even when I gave my heart to Christ, I kept that part still thinking that that was a good thing, like that a good Christian girl would eat right, she would diet, she would exercise, and like that may be true. But what we're talking about here today is an idol. What we're talking about is living in guilt and shame and just always feeling like we don't measure up. And the thing is, like your podcast is called compared to who like who? Who is? Who are we comparing ourselves to?

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Speaker 2: Right? Right? It's often that ideal me, Right, It's I have this picture in my head of who I'm supposed to be. And I like to say, wherever there's an ideal, there's an idol, right, because it's it's when we believe that this ideal me, I'll be saved as soon as I can be her, as soon as I can get it all together right, And as you experienced, it just doesn't happen. I talk to women every week that have reached that number, and when they get there, they say, well, this doesn't feel like I thought it was going to feel, and must need five more pounds. It must be five more pounds away, right, And like you shared in your experience earlier, like there's been studies out there that show body image issues actually get worse if you experience significant weight loss because of exactly what you described. You start to get all the compliments. And maybe you hadn't thought that much about yourself before, right, And then all the compliments come in. And you had to work so hard and focus so much on yourself in order to get to that size, and you get there and all the compliments come, and then your greatest fear becomes losing it, right, And what else can you do to keep the compliments coming, to keep the attention coming. There's you're running out of tricks to play.

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Speaker 1: Right exactly exactly, And it's like I would say, like you, I would consider myself a type a person, overachiever, like I don't want to let these people down. Right, they saw me, they saw me do this. Some of these people they see me on TV, like they've watched me loose this weight, Like I've got to do this for everybody. But it wasn't healthy. There was a real unhealthy aspect of it, and so people would be like, but you're so much healthier then now. It's like, oh, healthy is not a number on a scale like that I learned. It was such a surprise because I imagined that that would be the perfect moment, and I still felt the same shame and guilt. I would wake up in the morning and just like when I was overweight and looking for the next diet, I was thinking about what I could what I couldn't eat, what I could wear, what I couldn't wear, And again, Heather, that is exhausting, and I just I don't. I don't want to live like this anymore. That's it's a terrible way to live.

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Speaker 2: Exhausting and all consuming. And I mean the question I would ask to anyone listening is how much of your day is the Holy Spirit able to speak into if every waking minute and maybe some sleeping minutes too. Thinking about food and exercise, I mean, I think of all the opportunities. Our number one command is love God and love others. It's really difficult to reach outside yourself. Notice a person in need, you know, even ask someone to share what's upsetting them when you see you know that person crying, or what like any scenario right when you are so focused on self, it's really hard to live out God's commands around loving him and loving others. It's a lie to keep us self focused.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I thought too when I was so. I was in my forties when I lost that weight, and at that time my husband and I have just one son and he was in high school, so you know, at that age there are more sporting events. Children, they have more things that they're doing. One of the thoughts that I thought, and I would tell women like I couldn't have even done all that working out with small children, because you would need to be with your children. It takes away from the family time. I literally had my own cabinets with my food as opposed to the food like that I would prepare for my husband and our son, and I was eating something different and they let me do it, but they did express that it made them feel awkward. So think about that, a mom of a teen boy setting this example, you know, And I look back and I just think, hmm, that's regrettable. But I really I don't want to stay that girl, don't. I don't want to stay this person that I'm worried about all that time. I want to be able to love God first and to love other others well. And I'm sure all the women listening and we're just like, okay, but like, what do we like? What we do? How do we do this? So I was so grateful when I found you, Heather, and I saw that you had this forty day challenge. I thought, well, you know, that's a place to start, because most of the times when God leads us through change, it's not instant and in a moment. It's a process. It's a journey. And and I think you said when we first started talking, I didn't get here in a day, and you didn't get to where you were in a day. These are thoughts and habits and behaviors that we've been repeating for years. Would you say to any woman who's listening, who's thinking, you know, I'm seeing this might be an idol? Is there hope that over time we can change?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Absolutely? In fact, on my show this month, I am featuring stories of women who've gone through our program and have changed, so they're telling all their stories. But absolutely there's hope. Because you know, I mentioned it's a sin issue, and no one really likes that. It's good news, Monica, because if it's a sin issue, there's a cure for that. Right, if we confess our sins, He's faithful and just to forgive us of our sins, and it cleanses from all unrighteousness. We have a solution. If this is a sin issue, If this is just a.

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Speaker 3: Normal girl problem, we're hopeless. If we're just stuck with these issues because we're female, woe is me. Every woman in my family has it. We're hopeless, But we are not hopeless. Right, if we can identify that root of sin, then we can do something about it. And then, awkwardly, I'm going to say the word awkwardly because it is not a smooth road, Madica. This is countercultural, right, Like I love how you said we notice weight loss more than we notice anything else. And I have a line in my forty Day Body Image workbook where I say, I've never had a woman come up to me in target and say, wow, I really see the fruit of the spirit blooming in your life. Right, but exactly a couple pounds she'll be rushing over, right.

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Speaker 2: And yet what are we called to? What really matters? Right? What are we focusing on? So, yes, there is great hope. My forty day journey is a great place to start. I'm so excited you're going to be part of it.

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Speaker 1: I am too.

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Speaker 2: We start kind of slow the first week because I just I don't want to throw you in the deep end. So we could that kind of start just thinking about like really God's intentionality behind making our bodies and what culture says versus what scripture says. But then we dig deep and we look at you know, maybe some of the belief systems, things that were said over us or to us that have stuck with us. For I work with clients over seventies sometimes that have been you know, the same phrase that mom said has been going around in their head for sixty years. Right, So we dig into some of that, and then we dig into food, Monica, because I think we've all been on mister Toad's wild ride following culture's diet trends, because you, like me, probably didn't need any fat in nineteen ninety four and you've got to twenty four and all we were supposed to eat was fat. And that's confusing, right, I mean, it's up and down, up and down. Eat this. It's ridiculous and it's not good for us. It's not healthy for us. So we dig into some of that, we dig into shame, we dig into aging, and we go to all the places in the journey and there's a lot of content there. We have a lot of women that will repeat the journey a couple times, honestly, but there is great hope. God is good and he wants us to live free because this is a distraction, Monica. I talked to so many women that have you told the Lord, Okay, well, as soon as I lose x number of pounds, you know, then I'll leave the Sunday school class, or then we'll host small group, or you know, then I'll go on that missions trip that I thought would be fun. And they're waiting their entire lives to meet this body goal, and they're not doing the things that maybe God has designed them uniquely purposed them to do. They pressed hold on God's orders so they can get their body right first. And please, if you're in that situation today, don't hear any shame or blame coming from me. I did the same thing. But my message is you don't have to wait anymore. God's not waiting on you for that. He's got something for you to do. And I have found, more so than any other thing, when we Christian women can really get after how He made us and what he made us to do, it changes our perspective on our bodies. So I would say that I spent most of my life believing that I should look more like a supermodel. That maybe that was part of my calling, you know, to look more, and that was something God wanted me to work on. You should look more like a model. But the thing is, Monica, like, I'm five five. I used to say I was five to five and a half. I don't know, I might have been stretching it a little bit. I'm fairly five five and I have these short, stubby little fingers, and I've always had short, thick legs. I was never going to be a model, And how ridiculous it was for me for decades to think that I could get more like that. It's right there. It was never gonna happen. But here's what I know now at age fifty one, God gave me these short, stubby fingers that are awesome at typing. I am a super fast typist. I love to type. I can write books pretty quickly because of it.

00:25:52
Speaker 1: That's awesome.

00:25:52
Speaker 2: And that's what he had for me to do right. It wasn't about looking good in pictures. The purpose he has for my life is to type, is to write right. And I think every one of your listeners, God didn't miss you. He didn't skip you, Like, what's not an accident that your body is shaped or built the way it is. You didn't mess your body up. That's when I hear a lot. I've got a podcast episode on that. Nothing is not redeemable. If God can redeem you for eternity, anything you've done to your body is redeemable, absolutely here on this earth. And He still has a purpose for you. And so don't be distracted by the lie. He's got something for you to do.

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Speaker 1: Find out what it is, you know that is so amazing and filled with hope. I've got to take a break, just for a quick moment, for a word from our sponsors, and we'll be right back. Okay, Heather, you are sharing just how much hope is in front of every woman that's listening. Because if we can identify it as a sin issue, which it is, it is an idol. You even mentioned the word counter cultural, and here's the thing. For most of us Christian women, we do live a counter cultural life in many aspects, Like there are many things that other women do that I, just as a Christian, would not feel comfortable to do. But this one idol, right, this body image, Like I bowed to that without realizing it because I want to fit in. I want it whatever it is I think that I'm trying to do. Like you, you know, I'm five'. THREE i wasn't ever going to be a. SUPERMODEL i wasn't six feet tall and one hundred and ten. Pounds but those were the women in front of, me those were the women THAT i. Saw you, know even my mom and my sister just naturally thin, people and Praise god for. That that's how they were, wired, right that's that's How god put them. Together for, me it was something. Different but to be grateful for, that like you shared about the, typing Like god put in you writing to help other, women that we could have this conversation today for women that are struggling with this idol of body, image that are living under the weight shame and guilt and just chasing one diet after. ANOTHER i can think heather of days in my life that at the end of the DAY i, thought, well this is a good day BECAUSE i didn't eat, much and this was a bad day BECAUSE i ate a whole box of. Candy and it wasn't about Obeying god or reaching out to. Others it was WHAT i. Ate AND i, think how, ridiculous but how hopeful that you talked about all of that can be remedied and restored because Of god's. Goodness.

00:28:30
Speaker 2: RIGHT i love that you said, That, monica that's actually in the. Book so when you get to, that when you get to that, line so THERE i. Am but that was me, too laying in bed and recounting my, sins which were about eating that THING i wasn't gonna, eat or eating too much of that, thing or not exercising as much AS i told myself was gonna, exercise, Right so when it came to real, sin like The god's actual, standards, YEAH i wasn't so worried about. THAT i was worried about THINGS i could do to manage my body. Size and that was a big red for. Me SO i don't say. THAT i, mean it's kind of, funny BUT i really don't say that lightly BECAUSE i think that's an experience that, many, many if not most women.

00:29:09
Speaker 1: Have Well i'm one hundred percent sure that it. Is and we laugh because it's, uncomfortable but there's truth in, that and to just look at our lives and to look at ourselves and, Say, OKAY i bought into this thing thinking THAT i was doing the right, thing thinking THAT i was doing the good. Thing so if it was something, else like we would, know like if it was a cigarette, smoking LIKE i would know right that IF i don't do, That but like IF i did, that LIKE i would know probably not the healthiest thing to, do not a good, Witness but dieting and, EXERCISING, boyd that just seems like. Health that just seems so, good and yet we can get caught up in. It and like YOU i think WHEN i was in high, SCHOOL i didn't have a, diagnosis LIKE i wasn't real, thin so nobody THOUGHT i was. ANOREXIC i really wasn't doing the bleaemia. Thing BUT i definitely would control my eating to the point THAT i didn't have a mensis that SOMETIMES i would stand up and feel LIKE i was going to pass out BECAUSE i hadn't had enough to. Eat and sad, enough people of me family members WHEN i, said, Well i'm doing five hundred calories a, day they would cheer not AND i look, back AND i, think no one meant to hurt. ME i know that no one, meant but it's such a thing in our culture that they were excited to see me. Try AND i would give it my, best AND i could do it for about five, weeks and THEN i ate everything in, sight, right.

00:30:38
Speaker 2: Because that's how bodies, work, Right that's how bodies. Work you have to refeed after, That AND i, mean it's really dangerous to think about the reality that most of us were taught something like fifteen hundred calories a day or twelve hundred calories a day or, less and do you know you need Fifteen let me rephrase this do you know that a toddler needs fifteen hundred calories a day for, normal healthy brain. FUNCTIONS i did not know that adult woman trying to live on less than fifteen hundred calories a. Day something is, suffering and we get an epidemic of. Anxiety and we do live in a stressful. World BUT i often, wonder you know eating brings you? Peace, yes because AND i don't hear that in the wrong. Way but the way our our bodies were designed is there's a calm that comes over your body when you feed, it because bodies run on. Food and when you try not to run your body on, food it runs on, cortisol which is a stress. Hormone we all know all about that From instagram, now, right and those are here only two. Options otherwise the body stops, running Right and so It god designed it beautifully and. Perfectly AND i think back to that false. Gospel, goodness, gracious we've let, culture and even Some christian, culture to distort this in such a way that we've made it into something it's. Not we praise those who can go to the birthday party without eating as. Righteous and you, know please tell me your, secret O queen of. Restraint and what we miss in that monica is a birthday, party for, example that's the time to be, hospitable. Right it's a time of celebration and food is a very important part of our. Celebrations and so when we show up as the woman who can't possibly eat, that are we being? Loving are we being? Hospitable. C. S lewis calls it the gluttony of. Delicacy. Right we always think about gluttony as just like eating too many, oreos but, No huttney's far more complex and nuanced than, that And lewis called it the gluttony of. Delicacy the woman who would be, like oh, NO i couldn't possibly have any the tea is not the right, temperature on and on and on and you, know and that was, however seventy eighty years Ago lewis would have written exactly. Right and so it's really, TIME i, think For christian women to take this issue back, right, yes to start seeing this in this actual biblical. Way and that's what we try to do in The Forty Day. Workbook it's not A christian diet. Plan if you've got weight to lose and you want to lose, weight that's, fine but that's not what this is. About this is about getting you on a path to where if you do pursue those health, goals you don't make them an, idol and where you're able to keep first things first and, actually you, know see what's truly, healthy which is, physical, mental and spiritual, health all of it.

00:33:33
Speaker 1: Together and you, Know, heather when you talked about the birthday, parties you think about the research and the studies that show that children in a family, situation when they have family dinner, together doesn't matter whether it's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or just the most expensive, meal that their mental health is, better their grades are, better because there's something about coming together at the dinner. Table it's true for our, children but it is true for us as adults, Too so like for women who like, myself are empty nesters, already it's something wonderful for my husband AND i to have a meal, together not that he's having his thing And i'm having my little two tablespoons of, food you, know my little nine hundred calories a day, thing because that makes him feel, uncomfortable and it's it's not comfortable, physically nine hundred calories a. Day it's REALLY i get hungry after a. While i've tried that, many many. Times BUT i think of my mental, health my ability to enjoy. DINNER i think of all the women that are listening to be able to go to their children or teenagers birthday, gatherings family gatherings and actually eat and be kind to people and listen to people and. LAUGH i, mean just, right just be. People and we're missing that because of this. Idol.

00:34:53
Speaker 2: RIGHT i love it you said be kind BECAUSE i was going to poke a little bit around that. ONE i, MEAN i was not a very nice life WHEN i was. DIETING i was not very loving to my. HUSBAND i was hungry and mad all the. Time and then of COURSE i had little, kids you, know AND i had my special food and the little kids would eat the special food And i'd be, like do you know how much those bars? Are you ate the last? Bar, now mommy has nothing to, eat you. KNOW i, mean it was a whole, thing and it was Not it was not a, finder gentler. Heathery it was a much, meaner venomous heather.

00:35:29
Speaker 1: And hunger will do that to. YOU i remember having like A monica meltdown because my husband ate the last skinny cow ice, cream AND i was totally. Serious i'm, like but you have other kinds of ice cream in there that you can, eat BUT i only have the skinny, Cat, like oh poor. Me AND i just thought, afterward how ridiculous can a grown woman? Be monica, smelter, like is this not? Stupid but you know, WHAT i was. Hungry it had gone on for a prolonged period of. Time i'm trying to work off every cow and more THAT i, consume and apparently that skinny cow just meant the world to.

00:36:05
Speaker 2: ME i am right there with. You but you know you mentioned our. CHILDREN i was just thinking, about, Well i'm remembering the TIME i was teaching a. CLASS i homeschooled my kids and we had a co op AND i was teaching a homeschool class and one of the little girls shared a presentation about this wonderful dinner their family had, had and a little boy raised his hand at the end and he, said did your mom eat that dinner with? You or was she on a? Diet AND i was, like, there it is right. There that's. It mom can't eat with the family if she's preparing her own special. Dinner while the fan she prepares family, dinner then prepares their own special. Terenes but the thing that a lot of people push back on me With monica, is BUT i want to be. HEALTHIER i want to live. LONG i want to live long to see my, grandchildren want to be able to play with my. GRANDCHILDREN i, MEAN i have the health And longevity conversation seven or eight times a. Day but here's the. Reality if you look AT i think it's The National stage Of health as a. Studier actually it might even be a global health. Organization but there's a study Called it's like all of the metrics of, health, Right and when you look at, that it's the word Is. God it's like the eight. DETERMINANTS i think it's the eight determinants of, health, Right only two of them are food and. Exercise and if you think about it like a pie, chart those livers are actually pretty. Small but there's a lot of great data coming out Of harvard around relationships and. Community and you, know what actually makes you live a long time is having strong relationships not just inside your family but outside your, family and having a stronger wider. Community. Right AND i think about these women that are just like, you AND i that are on a, diet and so they don't go out to dinner with, people or if they get invited over to someone's home for, dinner they're not going to, go or they're going to show up with their own cooler of. Food, Right like we miss out on community inside and outside of our homes when we are so obsessed with food and.

00:38:01
Speaker 1: Body, yeah and it's it's isolating because even if you go to the, event you've got your own, things so you've got to stay. Separated and if it's to go out to, eat we all, know, right it's harder to have choices that you can really eat because everything is so restrained and it's this and it's that's. Who it's not. Enjoyable SO i think for me during that period of, time when my husband said let's go out to, eat which normally would have been a fun time for, ME i was, like you, Know i'd rather just stay, home right so THAT i can hard cook this, egg because a hard cooked egg is a beautiful. DINNER i, Mean, monica is that? Enough? Oh, Yes it's just the things that we're doing to try to win, approval to try to look like what this culture says we can look, like and, really as, women we can't do all of those. Things and, also Please, god.

00:38:54
Speaker 2: Well let me say that in a different. Way, right we do all this because we want to know we're, okay we want to know where, double we want to know we're. Worthy and we're still trying to prove that that The gospel already proved. It, like so we either believe it or we. Don't we either believe What jesus did was enough or we. Don't and if we can believe that What jesus did was, enough then we should be able to loosen the. Grip, RIGHT i don't have to prove anything. Anymore and, again LIKE i don't abuse, Grace, Right i'm a good steward of my. Body but that doesn't look like. Obsession that doesn't look like nine hundred calories a, Day that doesn't look like the most important thing of my day is WHAT i ate and HOW i ate and whether or not. Exercised, right that it looks very. Different and so it really does come down to what do you? Believe and again we might have the Right god In jesus, answer but how AM i? Living AM i living as IF i believe WHAT i? Believe or AM i really chasing value and worth and believing what the idol tells me that that value and worth is going to come on me like, this shall we're of fairy dust as soon AS i hit that number on the scale or get the right surgery or whatever it may. Be and as you have, experienced and As i've, experienced that's just never going to. Happen it just. Doesn't it's.

00:40:12
Speaker 1: Not and this is such an important, conversation even on hope of the journey this, month as we're looking at you, know letting go to live. Free what you're talking about is living. Free it's making peace with our bodies and being, free which is What christ already made, us and not having to continually strive for anybody's accolades or just to Be, okay as you, said so we're almost out of. Time is there one last thing that you might want to leave us with, Today?

00:40:41
Speaker 2: Heather so if you're looking for just something super practical and super, actionable, right that's what we're all looking. For here's WHAT i wanted to do this, week and it's going to be, Hard, Okay i'm not giving it a softball. HERE i want you to start listening to the things that you say to, yourself those things you hear in your head as you, listen as you. Observe just ask, yourself who's saying that to? Me AND i know you're gonna want to be, like what's me saying that to? Me we could, argue, right but you do have a very real, enemy and he's the one who wants you to stay stuck in this more than anyone. Else, right because you stay ineffective as long as your thoughts are consumed with thinness or weight loss or. Health however you want to call it, right if your thoughts are consumed about those things instead of the things Of god and the things of his, word he has one Right and my Forty Day Body igoric, BOOK i have a line about like the devil doesn't have to work too hard around. Me he just has to put a box of thin mints in front of me And i'm gone for a? Week? Right? Yes? Yeah SHOULD i eat? Them SHOULD i not eat? Them? Oh?

00:41:46
Speaker 1: NO i eat?

00:41:46
Speaker 2: Them oh? No what DO i do about the fact THAT i eat? Them how CAN i make? Up SHOULD i get another box and eat them While i'm off the? WAGON i mean one box of thin? Mints and he derails me For kingdom purpose for at least a. Week we shouldn't make it that.

00:41:57
Speaker 1: Easy no, Right, no have to recognize it and call it for what it. Is it's an idle. Issue it's a sin, issue and the only remedy Is jesus, right and just repenting of that and being willing to walk away from. It AND i think that your forty day, Challenge i'm all in BECAUSE i know that it's going to be a, process BUT i WANT i won't. EVER i can't improve anything UNLESS i get, started SO i want to do. That so thank you so Much heather for joining me today and for everybody who's. Listening if you look in the show notes all the links To heather's books for information the forty Day, challenge all of those goodies will be there for. You because hope for the journey is about finding freedom In. Christ it is about really laying down whatever separates as From him and just Making him, first Loving, him Loving, god loving. People so we're out of time for, today BUT i will see you again next week with more hope for the.

00:42:51
Speaker 2: Journey