WEBVTT - Timeless Wisdom: Ultimate Issues Hour - What Do Children Need?

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of

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<v Speaker 1>hours of Dennis's lectures, courses in classic radio programs, and

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<v Speaker 1>to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to Dennisprager dot com.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi everybody, It's Tuesday, and when possible, I have the

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<v Speaker 2>Ultimate Issues Hour. Because if you get the Ultimate Issues right,

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<v Speaker 2>you will have a much better life. You will lead

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<v Speaker 2>a better life, and you will make a better society.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's a pretty good combination. So I'd like to

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<v Speaker 2>talk to you today about what is it that children

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<v Speaker 2>really need? And here is my thesis which explains much

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<v Speaker 2>of what has called a deterioration, massive deterioration in our

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<v Speaker 2>society over the last century and particularly half century. So

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<v Speaker 2>let me put it in this way. What do you

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<v Speaker 2>think children need more expressions of love or security, expressions

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<v Speaker 2>of love or guardrails meaning you can't do this, and

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<v Speaker 2>you must do that, you can't do this, and you

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<v Speaker 2>must do that. Which do you think will produce a

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<v Speaker 2>happier and finer human being. I don't know exactly why

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<v Speaker 2>it happened, I will admit that, and maybe some people

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<v Speaker 2>do know what. I would love to learn why, But

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<v Speaker 2>I have one theory because I can date it. The

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<v Speaker 2>World War two generation decided that what their children most

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<v Speaker 2>need is love, expressions of love. I love you, I

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<v Speaker 2>love you, I love you. Have I told you how

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<v Speaker 2>much I love you? And that's fine if it's accompanied

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<v Speaker 2>by security and guardrails. Guardrails is you'll fall off unless

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<v Speaker 2>you follow the following rules of life. There are no

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<v Speaker 2>guardrails in a home without discipline as the best way

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<v Speaker 2>of I guess explaining what guardrails means. And so after

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<v Speaker 2>the love preoccupation came unconditional love preoccupation. Not only should

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<v Speaker 2>you tell your child how much you love him or her,

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<v Speaker 2>but that it is unconditional that no matter how your

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<v Speaker 2>child behaves, your child will just receive effusive love, effusive

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<v Speaker 2>expressions of love. You can tell I'm not a big

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<v Speaker 2>believer in this, and I love my children. They know

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<v Speaker 2>I love them. But my primary concentration was on guardrails

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<v Speaker 2>and security. Here's how to lead a better life. This

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<v Speaker 2>is what you need to do. To be kind and

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<v Speaker 2>to be good. You have to pursue truth, all these

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<v Speaker 2>values values, And I tried to be a model, obviously

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<v Speaker 2>not obviously, I also tried to be a model. That's

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<v Speaker 2>a very big deal in the raising of children. When

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<v Speaker 2>did this whole love preoccupation begin is a very interesting question,

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<v Speaker 2>and we'll get into that one eighth Prager seven seven six, Hi, everybody,

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<v Speaker 2>Ultimate Issues Hour on raising children? Do you agree, disagree,

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<v Speaker 2>partially agree, partially disagree. We've overdone it on the expressions

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<v Speaker 2>of love to the detriment of moral instruction, which includes discipline.

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<v Speaker 2>So we went from parents primarily teaching their kids' values,

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<v Speaker 2>to then primarily expressing how much they love them, to

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<v Speaker 2>then announcing to the world how important not just love

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<v Speaker 2>but unconditional love, the message of which is, no matter

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<v Speaker 2>how you behave, your mom and dad will love you,

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<v Speaker 2>no matter how you behave. I'm curious, does anybody, there's

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<v Speaker 2>any rational individual think you will get good behavior from

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<v Speaker 2>people who are told you're being love. You will be

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<v Speaker 2>loved no matter how you behave. That's why, by the way,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not a fan. This is a theological discussion for

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<v Speaker 2>another time. I've had it with you on the Ultimate

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<v Speaker 2>Issues Hour. I'm not a fan of saying God unconditionally

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<v Speaker 2>loves and I don't even know what the biblical basis is.

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<v Speaker 2>I know the biblical basis of God's love for humanity,

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<v Speaker 2>but unconditionally, I don't know where the basis is, whether

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<v Speaker 2>it's behavior or faith. You've got to do something. You

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<v Speaker 2>just you can't go on the way you were before

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<v Speaker 2>and still be loved. Or maybe you're loved, but you're

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<v Speaker 2>not saved, at least in Christian terms. So it changed

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<v Speaker 2>the way children were raised. That is the root of

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<v Speaker 2>the civilizational decline. The spoiled brats at Harvard, these nothings,

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<v Speaker 2>these narcissistic, arrogant, immoral nothings. Not all Harvard students, my

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<v Speaker 2>dear Julie, who might have a podcast with, went to Harvard.

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<v Speaker 2>I know some terrific people who went to Harvard. My

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<v Speaker 2>brother went to Harvard. But by and large, I'm using

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<v Speaker 2>Harvard as an example because the most prestigious university, and

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<v Speaker 2>they have a particularly high percentage of a holes for

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<v Speaker 2>students and faculty. One might add those faculty were raised

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<v Speaker 2>the way I'm describing the oldest faculty is still post

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<v Speaker 2>World War two. The praise that I hear parents give

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<v Speaker 2>to their children is beyond belief. Everything is awesome. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>the word awesome deserves its own ultimate issues. Hour you'll

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<v Speaker 2>give an order to a waiter a waitress. Yeah, I

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<v Speaker 2>say I'll have I'll have a side of of coast

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<v Speaker 2>law awesome. I'm thinking, why is the side of coast

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<v Speaker 2>law awesome? Would a side of fries be awesome too? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>I suspect so, But a side of bruccoli awesome? How

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<v Speaker 2>about I won't have a side awesome? So no side

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<v Speaker 2>or any side is awesome awesome. It was reserved historically

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<v Speaker 2>in the English language for that which inspires awe. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>running the four minute mile, climbing everest, saving a kid's

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<v Speaker 2>life who fell into an icy pond. That's those things

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<v Speaker 2>are awesome. But the praise, the praise that is offered

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<v Speaker 2>to kids, the unconditional love. So it produces these people

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<v Speaker 2>who expect life to present them with constant love and

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<v Speaker 2>attention and praise. A lap. It's known as lap. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>so in fact, sit on my lap. It comes from love, attention, praise.

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<v Speaker 2>That is where the word lap comes from. Look it up, sean, yep,

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<v Speaker 2>that's right, Sit on my left attention. What was the

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<v Speaker 2>piece for you? Praise you? Let me give you more love,

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<v Speaker 2>attention and praise. Then then people get these spoiled narcissists

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<v Speaker 2>in wonder. I don't understand. I so loved them, so

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<v Speaker 2>loved him, so loved her. Believe it or not, most

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<v Speaker 2>children that's not what they most need. Now. The opposite

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<v Speaker 2>of love, hate, abuse, et cetera. Is evil that goes

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<v Speaker 2>without saying but oodles of love. I don't. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not necessarily bad because if it's accompanied by guardrails, discipline,

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<v Speaker 2>et cetera, it could be fine. But I don't. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know how important it is. The other thing. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't have an answer to this, but how often if

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<v Speaker 2>you tell your child how much you love them? At

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<v Speaker 2>what point? And maybe there is no point. I have

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<v Speaker 2>no answer to this, But at what point does it

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<v Speaker 2>begin to lack meaning? Maybe? Never? Okay, I'm totally okay

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<v Speaker 2>with that. I don't have an answer to it.

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<v Speaker 1>This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

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<v Speaker 1>Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, let's see here, yep, Dave in Atlanta, Georgia.

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<v Speaker 3>Hello, Yeah, they're just wanted to say. I agree with

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<v Speaker 3>what you're saying, and really, true love includes discipline. It's

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<v Speaker 3>just that sorry, it's raining here pretty hard. But the

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<v Speaker 3>reason God disciplines us is because he loves us. So

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<v Speaker 3>a parent child relationship is no different. And we discipline

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<v Speaker 3>our kids because we love them. We want them to

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<v Speaker 3>be good people and not just tell them yes all

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<v Speaker 3>the time, because you tell them yes all the time.

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<v Speaker 3>And that's where the entitlement comes from. No respect for

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<v Speaker 3>our authority or for our elders. I grew up respecting

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<v Speaker 3>my elders, and that's what's going on nowadays. It seems

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<v Speaker 3>like and if you tell them no, it's considered emotional abuse.

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<v Speaker 2>I agree with you, that's correct. The interesting I would

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<v Speaker 2>be very curious to have some I don't know if

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<v Speaker 2>it's doable, but I would be curious in the extra

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<v Speaker 2>to juxtapose children raised in religious Jewish and Christians homes

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<v Speaker 2>Christian homes and children raised in secular homes. I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>even asking now for the result, although that would be

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<v Speaker 2>obviously important and interesting. But the methodology. You know, I've

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<v Speaker 2>told you that as far as unconditional love is concerned,

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<v Speaker 2>there is a metric in Google. It's a astonishing thing

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<v Speaker 2>that it exists, which tells you how often a phrase

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<v Speaker 2>or I think even a word is used was used.

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<v Speaker 2>Starting in the early twentieth century starting in nineteen hundred,

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<v Speaker 2>and if you look up unconditional love, it's virtually at

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<v Speaker 2>zero until the nineteen fifties, and then its skyrockets like

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<v Speaker 2>a ski slope in the nineteen sixties. So interestingly, this

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<v Speaker 2>notion did not come from the religious community. It came

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<v Speaker 2>from the sixties anti religious value system. So when Christians,

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<v Speaker 2>it's usually Christians in this case more than Jews. When

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<v Speaker 2>religious Christians as opposed to religious Jews, secular Jews might

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<v Speaker 2>say the same speak of unconditional love. They don't know

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<v Speaker 2>they've been influenced by secular society. Back in a moment,

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<v Speaker 2>What so lap I like that on love, attention, praise,

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<v Speaker 2>I got a question for you. I'm talking about the

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<v Speaker 2>bombardment of expressions of love on children and how it's

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<v Speaker 2>not worked out. Things they need more. Here here's an

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<v Speaker 2>interesting one. I just thought about this. So think about

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<v Speaker 2>your childhood. What would you have preferred your parent between

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<v Speaker 2>the two things They're telling you how much they love

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<v Speaker 2>you or telling you how much they admire you. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't have an answer, but it just occurred to me

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<v Speaker 2>to ask the question. Yeah, anyway, I think that the

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<v Speaker 2>expressions of love I think love has been sort of

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<v Speaker 2>cheapened in the last what is it, Well, not one

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<v Speaker 2>hundred years, but since the post World War two era

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<v Speaker 2>were approaching one hundred years. Okay, let's see here what

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<v Speaker 2>you folks have to say. William and Ryan, who you are? Killow?

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<v Speaker 4>Good day to you, Dennis. But coast law is much

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<v Speaker 4>better than broccoli. Neither is awesome, but coast law.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyway, No, no, it's a fair point. Although broccoli properly

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<v Speaker 2>flavored with salt and seasoning could be delicious, but go ahead, right.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, So, when younger brother and I were teenagers, my

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<v Speaker 4>father caught my younger brother smoking pots and he sat

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<v Speaker 4>us boat down with his mother, with my mother standing

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<v Speaker 4>next to him. Uh, and he said to my brother, Uh,

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<v Speaker 4>you're not going to do this again. If I catch

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<v Speaker 4>you doing anything like it, I'm gonna do to you

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<v Speaker 4>what the boxers in China that did two addicts during

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<v Speaker 4>the Opium War. Do you know what that is? And

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<v Speaker 4>of course my brother and nobody told him that they

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<v Speaker 4>the box blew literally blew the brains out of the

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<v Speaker 4>opium attics. And my brother started to well up a bit,

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<v Speaker 4>and he was a tough kid. And then my father

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<v Speaker 4>just looked at him and said, listen, I have to

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<v Speaker 4>do this because I'm your father. I love you, and

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<v Speaker 4>that's why I do this. Now get out of here,

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<v Speaker 4>you know. And that was it and my brother never

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<v Speaker 4>did it again.

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<v Speaker 2>So well. I have a lot of anecdotes about that,

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<v Speaker 2>some of which I think some listeners will recall, but

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<v Speaker 2>it's worth it. I did an hour on the on

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<v Speaker 2>the show many really many years ago. If you didn't

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<v Speaker 2>take drugs in high school or didn't use drugs in

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<v Speaker 2>high school, well I didn't you. I had no idea

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<v Speaker 2>what answers I would get. I was curious of what

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<v Speaker 2>prevented people who didn't use that from using them. And

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<v Speaker 2>it was fascinating. Caller after caller said, because my mother

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<v Speaker 2>would kill me, you wouldn't have that today. My mother

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<v Speaker 2>would kill me. Anybody who said that, and it was

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<v Speaker 2>overheard by child Protective services the parent might lose custody

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<v Speaker 2>of their child. I have another great one, a friend

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<v Speaker 2>of my younger son. When it does the podcast ap Unfiltered,

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<v Speaker 2>Aaron Prager unfiltered one word and he was addicted for

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<v Speaker 2>a number of years. He's been sober for seven and

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<v Speaker 2>he's really is leading a wonderful, productive life. So I

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<v Speaker 2>met some of his closest friends, also covering addicts, and

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<v Speaker 2>one of them said to me, you know, I, oh

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<v Speaker 2>my father, my life. I said, really, how so? Because

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<v Speaker 2>one day he said to me, get the f out

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<v Speaker 2>of my house and come don't come back until you're sober.

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<v Speaker 2>So now, I know many of you will say, well,

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<v Speaker 2>that was a loving thing to do. Okay, I agree

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<v Speaker 2>with you, and it was a loving thing to do.

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<v Speaker 2>But he didn't say I love you. It was get

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<v Speaker 2>the f out of my house and don't come back

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<v Speaker 2>to your sober He didn't tell him how much he

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<v Speaker 2>loved him. All right, let's see what else you folks

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<v Speaker 2>have to say on this. Oh okay, no don in

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<v Speaker 2>Jolton the Sea.

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<v Speaker 5>Hi, Dennis, how you doing.

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<v Speaker 4>So?

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<v Speaker 5>I believe that this unconditional love has come as a

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<v Speaker 5>misrepresentation of what my theology is, which is a reformed

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<v Speaker 5>theology whereby my salvation was paid in full at the

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<v Speaker 5>cross by Christ. But before my salvation and after my

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<v Speaker 5>salvation is meritorious. In other words, the sins I've committed

0:20:54.480 --> 0:20:58.720
<v Speaker 5>before I was saved, I would pay the just penalty

0:20:58.840 --> 0:21:04.080
<v Speaker 5>for those sins now. As one of his elect, that is,

0:21:04.840 --> 0:21:07.680
<v Speaker 5>He chose me before the foundation of the world. By

0:21:07.680 --> 0:21:10.720
<v Speaker 5>the way, this is the same for Jews, where in

0:21:10.800 --> 0:21:13.800
<v Speaker 5>Romans eleven it says not all Israel are of Israel,

0:21:14.320 --> 0:21:16.399
<v Speaker 5>and he said, Jacob, I loved Esa, I hate it.

0:21:16.440 --> 0:21:21.080
<v Speaker 5>This is all meeted out in Romans nine, whereby God

0:21:21.160 --> 0:21:27.160
<v Speaker 5>has determined my eternal destiny at the cross. But before

0:21:27.200 --> 0:21:31.320
<v Speaker 5>and after is a meritocracy. I'm going to receive a

0:21:31.359 --> 0:21:33.800
<v Speaker 5>reward at the end of my life, and it's going

0:21:33.880 --> 0:21:36.119
<v Speaker 5>to be based on what I did after I was

0:21:36.200 --> 0:21:38.040
<v Speaker 5>saved at the cross.

0:21:38.480 --> 0:21:41.920
<v Speaker 2>That what is the name of that theology that's fascinating.

0:21:42.119 --> 0:21:48.400
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, it's called reform theology. And I so then it's.

0:21:48.240 --> 0:21:54.960
<v Speaker 2>A theology where works, in addition to belief save you.

0:21:56.640 --> 0:21:59.760
<v Speaker 5>Yes, works after you say it gives evidence that I

0:21:59.840 --> 0:22:00.440
<v Speaker 5>have been said.

0:22:00.760 --> 0:22:02.840
<v Speaker 2>I think that's great. I wish I wish that were

0:22:02.840 --> 0:22:10.960
<v Speaker 2>the universal teaching. If you don't behave properly, it means

0:22:11.119 --> 0:22:17.080
<v Speaker 2>that you're you're not saved. You're not saved alone by

0:22:17.119 --> 0:22:22.840
<v Speaker 2>works alone. That's it's obviously basic Christianity. But you're not

0:22:23.000 --> 0:22:28.320
<v Speaker 2>saved without works. That's an important message.

0:22:30.080 --> 0:22:33.399
<v Speaker 1>This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

0:22:38.920 --> 0:22:44.320
<v Speaker 1>Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.

0:22:44.760 --> 0:22:48.080
<v Speaker 2>Yes, we have overdone it with expressions of love for children.

0:22:48.119 --> 0:22:50.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry. I know it sounds cruel. It's not. It's

0:22:51.040 --> 0:22:59.679
<v Speaker 2>actually quite loving. A staggering number of entitled young people

0:23:00.520 --> 0:23:05.040
<v Speaker 2>are ruining this country, and they have since the Baby Boomers,

0:23:05.080 --> 0:23:09.800
<v Speaker 2>since my generation. After all, who taught these kids to

0:23:10.040 --> 0:23:16.640
<v Speaker 2>loathe everything beautiful, including beauty? It was the Baby Boomer generation,

0:23:16.800 --> 0:23:23.920
<v Speaker 2>but they also got it from somebody. Oh right, let's

0:23:23.920 --> 0:23:27.439
<v Speaker 2>see here. Patrick Mammoth, Springs, Arkansas.

0:23:27.520 --> 0:23:32.240
<v Speaker 6>Hello, Hello, mister Prager. I love your show and I

0:23:32.280 --> 0:23:35.040
<v Speaker 6>love how you bring clarity to these issues.

0:23:35.200 --> 0:23:36.119
<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much.

0:23:37.600 --> 0:23:39.640
<v Speaker 6>First of all, let me say I agree completely with

0:23:40.200 --> 0:23:46.399
<v Speaker 6>what the conclusion you've come to. I'm what's called an evangelical.

0:23:46.480 --> 0:23:48.680
<v Speaker 6>I'm sure you know what that is, but I'm also

0:23:48.720 --> 0:23:53.000
<v Speaker 6>a Reformed evangelical, which helps me, helps maybe helps you

0:23:53.080 --> 0:23:56.800
<v Speaker 6>understand that I could see unconditional love very very narrowly,

0:23:57.160 --> 0:24:04.280
<v Speaker 6>and not as though God loves everybody equally. The Reformed theology,

0:24:04.280 --> 0:24:09.439
<v Speaker 6>as your previous caller said, qualifies that faith without works

0:24:09.480 --> 0:24:13.680
<v Speaker 6>is dead, as it says in James to seventeen, and

0:24:14.040 --> 0:24:18.359
<v Speaker 6>if a Christian doesn't recognize that the vast majority of

0:24:18.359 --> 0:24:21.879
<v Speaker 6>people who call aim to know Christ or not living

0:24:21.920 --> 0:24:24.840
<v Speaker 6>according to what the New Testament says they should be,

0:24:25.359 --> 0:24:27.960
<v Speaker 6>then they're severely blinded.

0:24:29.440 --> 0:24:34.000
<v Speaker 2>Good You wanted to call up about the Hebrew Word.

0:24:33.920 --> 0:24:41.480
<v Speaker 6>Has said, Yes, I studied out the origins of how

0:24:41.520 --> 0:24:45.440
<v Speaker 6>this could have happened in evangelical circles that unconditional love

0:24:45.600 --> 0:24:48.760
<v Speaker 6>was bandied about as it was, and I came up

0:24:48.840 --> 0:24:55.200
<v Speaker 6>with in the Old Testament translated goodness, mercy, numerous other

0:24:55.320 --> 0:25:00.720
<v Speaker 6>loving kindness. The Word has said. And if you look

0:25:00.760 --> 0:25:05.560
<v Speaker 6>at if you're trying to find how the apostles in

0:25:05.600 --> 0:25:09.240
<v Speaker 6>the first century came up with this idea which we

0:25:09.280 --> 0:25:12.800
<v Speaker 6>now call unconditional love, I think you can find it

0:25:12.840 --> 0:25:15.280
<v Speaker 6>in the two hundred and forty seven times that have

0:25:15.440 --> 0:25:16.320
<v Speaker 6>said is used.

0:25:17.720 --> 0:25:21.119
<v Speaker 2>Well, that's interesting. I had never heard that, and of

0:25:21.160 --> 0:25:28.320
<v Speaker 2>course I know biblical Hebrew well, and I've never heard

0:25:28.320 --> 0:25:32.760
<v Speaker 2>it as unconditional. The most famous use of it might

0:25:32.920 --> 0:25:40.400
<v Speaker 2>be what they call in Judaism, the thirteen attributes of God.

0:25:41.760 --> 0:25:51.720
<v Speaker 2>Let me see, so it's let's see, okay, this is

0:25:51.720 --> 0:25:57.879
<v Speaker 2>always a challenge. So God is el Rahum, a god

0:25:57.960 --> 0:26:04.040
<v Speaker 2>of mercy, the hanun and kindness, or however hanun would

0:26:04.080 --> 0:26:09.720
<v Speaker 2>be translated. Ralph has said, filled with hesseid your term

0:26:10.320 --> 0:26:15.080
<v Speaker 2>the ammet and truth. So and then there there's more

0:26:15.200 --> 0:26:21.200
<v Speaker 2>about God. So this is essential, but it's nowhere does

0:26:21.200 --> 0:26:25.159
<v Speaker 2>it imply unconditional. So that's what I was aiming for

0:26:25.240 --> 0:26:29.840
<v Speaker 2>and trying to review the verse. All right, anyway, I

0:26:29.920 --> 0:26:35.320
<v Speaker 2>thank you. I do thank you for your call. Yep,

0:26:35.640 --> 0:26:40.040
<v Speaker 2>Chicago and Rose, Hello Rose, I Donna.

0:26:41.080 --> 0:26:43.160
<v Speaker 7>I was just going to say, I believe there has

0:26:43.240 --> 0:26:47.240
<v Speaker 7>to be a balance that a child who has many

0:26:47.359 --> 0:26:50.760
<v Speaker 7>rules and boundaries and does not feel that they are

0:26:50.800 --> 0:26:55.000
<v Speaker 7>loved by their parents, it brings insecurity and rebellion. I

0:26:55.040 --> 0:27:01.119
<v Speaker 7>believe love is extremely important that they know that that

0:27:01.160 --> 0:27:02.959
<v Speaker 7>their mom and dad is going to love them no

0:27:03.000 --> 0:27:06.879
<v Speaker 7>matter what. And I do believe the Bible teaches. I

0:27:06.920 --> 0:27:10.560
<v Speaker 7>do agree with the reform theology. I believe that my

0:27:10.720 --> 0:27:15.879
<v Speaker 7>Savior loves me unconditionally. My assurance is not in how

0:27:16.520 --> 0:27:20.280
<v Speaker 7>good I am, but in the sacrifice that my Savior

0:27:20.320 --> 0:27:24.280
<v Speaker 7>bore for me to take my sin upon himself. Also,

0:27:24.359 --> 0:27:28.879
<v Speaker 7>I was going to say, God didn't give up at me.

0:27:29.400 --> 0:27:32.840
<v Speaker 7>I went through a time of rebellion in my teen

0:27:32.920 --> 0:27:37.960
<v Speaker 7>years and in college I was ashamed when a Christian

0:27:38.000 --> 0:27:40.440
<v Speaker 7>came up to me and started talking to me about Jesus,

0:27:40.440 --> 0:27:44.520
<v Speaker 7>and I was embarrassed. And in spite of all that,

0:27:45.720 --> 0:27:50.040
<v Speaker 7>Jesus led me to himself and became my lord, the

0:27:50.080 --> 0:27:53.560
<v Speaker 7>lord of my life and my savior, and my life

0:27:53.640 --> 0:27:54.120
<v Speaker 7>changed that.

0:27:55.920 --> 0:27:57.159
<v Speaker 4>What happened him.

0:27:57.640 --> 0:28:03.320
<v Speaker 7>And I believe I had way more love after I

0:28:03.359 --> 0:28:09.600
<v Speaker 7>became a Christian than a love that centered on peasing

0:28:09.760 --> 0:28:11.199
<v Speaker 7>me making me happy.

0:28:11.520 --> 0:28:14.359
<v Speaker 2>Right, So I have a question. Hold on, I'll pose

0:28:14.400 --> 0:28:19.399
<v Speaker 2>a question when you return. So I have a question.

0:28:19.560 --> 0:28:23.840
<v Speaker 2>Is our lady still here rose in Chicago? Thank you good?

0:28:24.160 --> 0:28:26.080
<v Speaker 2>Did you have children or do you have children?

0:28:27.280 --> 0:28:27.560
<v Speaker 4>Yes?

0:28:27.680 --> 0:28:28.639
<v Speaker 7>I had four children.

0:28:28.680 --> 0:28:32.080
<v Speaker 2>They're grown now, I would assume, so here I was

0:28:32.160 --> 0:28:36.760
<v Speaker 2>just this is a curiosity question. So let me see.

0:28:36.800 --> 0:28:39.720
<v Speaker 2>I wrote it down during the break. Did you convey

0:28:40.000 --> 0:28:44.120
<v Speaker 2>the message to your children no matter what they did,

0:28:45.200 --> 0:28:48.120
<v Speaker 2>no matter how awful they would ever be thought others,

0:28:48.160 --> 0:28:49.440
<v Speaker 2>you would still love them.

0:28:51.760 --> 0:28:55.440
<v Speaker 7>I never studied in those words, but I do believe

0:28:55.480 --> 0:28:58.920
<v Speaker 7>my children knew that I would love them no matter

0:28:58.960 --> 0:29:01.360
<v Speaker 7>what I would tell them sometimes when I had to

0:29:01.400 --> 0:29:05.120
<v Speaker 7>discipline them, and I was pretty strict that I love

0:29:05.160 --> 0:29:06.800
<v Speaker 7>you too, much to let you get away with this,

0:29:07.960 --> 0:29:13.560
<v Speaker 7>and I don't think they ever doubt it, my love, So.

0:29:13.560 --> 0:29:16.840
<v Speaker 2>It isn't it is. It's a tough question, and I'm

0:29:16.840 --> 0:29:19.840
<v Speaker 2>not arguing with you at all, And you know I

0:29:19.840 --> 0:29:22.200
<v Speaker 2>don't hesitate to argue if I have to, but I'm

0:29:22.240 --> 0:29:25.719
<v Speaker 2>not arguing with you. So it's a very interesting moral

0:29:25.880 --> 0:29:33.760
<v Speaker 2>question as well as anything else religious or pedagogic. I mean,

0:29:33.800 --> 0:29:37.200
<v Speaker 2>what if one's not not yours or any more mine?

0:29:37.360 --> 0:29:41.600
<v Speaker 2>Just in general, what if one's child commits a heinous

0:29:41.640 --> 0:29:47.080
<v Speaker 2>act of rape and murder? Do we want them? Do

0:29:47.160 --> 0:29:49.840
<v Speaker 2>we want them to think? I'm not asking would we

0:29:49.880 --> 0:29:55.040
<v Speaker 2>still love them? Because parental love might be immutable, but

0:29:56.040 --> 0:29:58.800
<v Speaker 2>do we want to convey to our children. I just

0:29:58.840 --> 0:30:01.680
<v Speaker 2>want you to know, I mean, would we say it?

0:30:01.680 --> 0:30:05.360
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't matter what evil you commit, I will still

0:30:05.400 --> 0:30:08.800
<v Speaker 2>love you. You would not have said that to your child, right.

0:30:10.760 --> 0:30:13.880
<v Speaker 7>I don't think I would have said that, But I

0:30:14.000 --> 0:30:16.800
<v Speaker 7>think by my actions that I would never give up

0:30:16.840 --> 0:30:22.440
<v Speaker 7>on them repenting from a horrible wickedness, that I would

0:30:22.520 --> 0:30:26.840
<v Speaker 7>never stop praying for them or loving them, even though

0:30:26.960 --> 0:30:28.440
<v Speaker 7>my heart would grieve.

0:30:28.880 --> 0:30:32.800
<v Speaker 2>Right, And I know that Yes, Okay, thank you? By

0:30:32.840 --> 0:30:35.400
<v Speaker 2>the way, It's important to note that she said she

0:30:35.560 --> 0:30:39.240
<v Speaker 2>was strict, So I think the combination of love and

0:30:39.280 --> 0:30:47.520
<v Speaker 2>strictness is really, really terrific. But we now have generations

0:30:47.520 --> 0:30:53.680
<v Speaker 2>of Americans raised with effusive love and minimal strictness, and

0:30:54.640 --> 0:30:58.880
<v Speaker 2>the results are quite awful. And if there's an imbalance

0:30:59.000 --> 0:31:02.880
<v Speaker 2>towards strictness over expressions of love, I think you will

0:31:02.880 --> 0:31:06.160
<v Speaker 2>still produce a better human being than if there is

0:31:06.200 --> 0:31:10.680
<v Speaker 2>an imbalance, And there is far more expressions of love

0:31:10.800 --> 0:31:15.560
<v Speaker 2>than strictness. But it is interesting that I don't know

0:31:15.720 --> 0:31:20.400
<v Speaker 2>any parent, even believers in unconditional love, who would say

0:31:20.440 --> 0:31:23.760
<v Speaker 2>to their child, I just want you to know it

0:31:23.800 --> 0:31:27.400
<v Speaker 2>doesn't matter what you do to hurt any other person,

0:31:27.840 --> 0:31:30.880
<v Speaker 2>I will still love you. No parent would say that.

0:31:31.920 --> 0:31:37.000
<v Speaker 2>But why not? If in fact unconditional love is an ideal?

0:31:38.440 --> 0:31:43.080
<v Speaker 2>Why why wouldn't we say that That's what it means, right?

0:31:43.160 --> 0:31:47.000
<v Speaker 2>Unconditional means there is no condition under which I would

0:31:47.040 --> 0:31:50.280
<v Speaker 2>withdraw it. But you wouldn't say that to your child.

0:31:51.680 --> 0:31:55.920
<v Speaker 2>Why not? And I don't know if God has said

0:31:55.920 --> 0:32:00.520
<v Speaker 2>that to us. But anyway, this is not primarily about

0:32:00.600 --> 0:32:07.240
<v Speaker 2>unconditional love. It is about the imbalance that generations now

0:32:07.400 --> 0:32:10.080
<v Speaker 2>have had and the results can be seen at Harvard

0:32:10.160 --> 0:32:17.760
<v Speaker 2>Yard of Spoiled Brats. I'll bet vast numbers of them

0:32:18.000 --> 0:32:21.560
<v Speaker 2>were told by their parents how terrific they are and

0:32:21.600 --> 0:32:27.520
<v Speaker 2>how much they love them a lot. That's that's my suspicion.

0:32:28.440 --> 0:32:31.720
<v Speaker 1>This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

0:32:37.280 --> 0:32:40.880
<v Speaker 1>Now back to more of Dennis Brager's timeless wisdom.

0:32:42.080 --> 0:32:52.239
<v Speaker 2>All right, let's see here de Plaine, Illinois and Ross. Hello, Ross, Hello, Dennis.

0:32:53.960 --> 0:32:57.000
<v Speaker 2>Can you hear me? I hear you. It's a slight reverberation,

0:32:57.120 --> 0:32:58.160
<v Speaker 2>but I hear you. Fine.

0:32:59.440 --> 0:33:01.880
<v Speaker 3>Oh, I'm sorry here, I can just get off the

0:33:01.880 --> 0:33:02.680
<v Speaker 3>bluetooth thing.

0:33:04.000 --> 0:33:08.240
<v Speaker 2>Probably, Yeah, yep, I agree with you a little bit. Yeah,

0:33:08.320 --> 0:33:08.720
<v Speaker 2>thank you.

0:33:09.680 --> 0:33:15.640
<v Speaker 4>Okay, I think I said I can't talk now.

0:33:16.680 --> 0:33:31.360
<v Speaker 2>Wow, that's it. I hope it's not bad. Ed in Wheaton, Illinois, Hello, Dennis.

0:33:31.360 --> 0:33:35.400
<v Speaker 8>It's always a pleasure to talk to you. My ninety

0:33:35.640 --> 0:33:39.040
<v Speaker 8>plus year old mother had a what we could describe

0:33:39.040 --> 0:33:42.680
<v Speaker 8>as a near death experience, I guess, following a surgery.

0:33:42.760 --> 0:33:46.040
<v Speaker 8>She had this hours long conversation with God even though

0:33:46.040 --> 0:33:50.800
<v Speaker 8>she was only under fort about forty minutes and one

0:33:50.840 --> 0:33:51.640
<v Speaker 8>of the things.

0:33:51.480 --> 0:33:53.360
<v Speaker 2>By the way, just for the record, That's how many

0:33:53.440 --> 0:33:56.120
<v Speaker 2>of my classes felt. They felt hours long and they

0:33:56.120 --> 0:34:00.160
<v Speaker 2>were only forty minutes. So I totally get it.

0:34:01.000 --> 0:34:03.800
<v Speaker 8>Well, you know with God and ours Uh.

0:34:03.880 --> 0:34:06.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, no, it's very different with God. Okay, go ahead.

0:34:09.600 --> 0:34:15.680
<v Speaker 8>There's a family member that had an abortion, and she

0:34:16.000 --> 0:34:20.840
<v Speaker 8>shared a conversation she had with who she believed to

0:34:20.840 --> 0:34:27.000
<v Speaker 8>be Jesus or God, and the love that he showed

0:34:27.520 --> 0:34:30.440
<v Speaker 8>and said that he had for all of his children

0:34:31.520 --> 0:34:36.160
<v Speaker 8>was something that I thought was pretty profound. I mean,

0:34:36.200 --> 0:34:39.200
<v Speaker 8>we talked about the love of God, but to think

0:34:39.280 --> 0:34:45.480
<v Speaker 8>that he can love somebody even though they've whatever, you know,

0:34:45.560 --> 0:34:48.880
<v Speaker 8>murder someone and with a gun or with their hands

0:34:49.000 --> 0:34:55.240
<v Speaker 8>or in this case, she decided to take this baby's life.

0:34:55.320 --> 0:35:00.520
<v Speaker 8>So the love that God has, while the Bible doesn't

0:35:00.520 --> 0:35:01.080
<v Speaker 8>talk about.

0:35:01.160 --> 0:35:04.840
<v Speaker 2>Right so here is here is one of my challenges.

0:35:05.600 --> 0:35:09.000
<v Speaker 2>And that is no one, not a parent, not a

0:35:09.040 --> 0:35:14.319
<v Speaker 2>pastor no religious figure would announce the following I just

0:35:14.400 --> 0:35:16.960
<v Speaker 2>want my congregation to know, or I just want you,

0:35:17.120 --> 0:35:20.839
<v Speaker 2>my child to know that no matter what you do,

0:35:21.200 --> 0:35:24.080
<v Speaker 2>how evil it is, I will still love you. No

0:35:24.120 --> 0:35:28.080
<v Speaker 2>one says that about themselves or about God, so we

0:35:28.640 --> 0:35:35.160
<v Speaker 2>know that the message would be counterproductive. Ex post facto. Well,

0:35:35.239 --> 0:35:38.080
<v Speaker 2>you committed this act and I still love you, or

0:35:38.120 --> 0:35:40.319
<v Speaker 2>you've committed this act of God. To love you is

0:35:40.360 --> 0:35:46.359
<v Speaker 2>not the same as announcing it doesn't matter what you do,

0:35:46.520 --> 0:35:50.480
<v Speaker 2>I will still love you. Pastors don't say that, and

0:35:50.719 --> 0:36:04.480
<v Speaker 2>parents don't say that. Hi, everybody, Dennis Praeger here. I

0:36:04.600 --> 0:36:09.400
<v Speaker 2>just shared some information with Sean about Tiglo Pilesser, and

0:36:11.239 --> 0:36:14.680
<v Speaker 2>I didn't want to hide that from you, my dear listeners.

0:36:19.080 --> 0:36:24.320
<v Speaker 2>I know somebody who appreciated that immensely. Ah, this is

0:36:24.840 --> 0:36:29.960
<v Speaker 2>this is such an important subject. You know. It evolved

0:36:30.239 --> 0:36:34.399
<v Speaker 2>not to evolved, but evolved into discussions on unconditional which

0:36:34.440 --> 0:36:38.120
<v Speaker 2>is the way it works. There's an organic evolution in

0:36:38.239 --> 0:36:45.400
<v Speaker 2>many hours of my program. But remember the the point

0:36:45.480 --> 0:36:48.480
<v Speaker 2>that I open with for this Ultimate Issues hour is

0:36:50.080 --> 0:37:02.480
<v Speaker 2>that effusive praise and love is dangerous if certainly if

0:37:02.520 --> 0:37:07.800
<v Speaker 2>not accompanied by equal amounts of discipline, I mean equal

0:37:10.560 --> 0:37:18.960
<v Speaker 2>Just for the record, we have really good ones here well, Orlando, Florida, mic.

0:37:21.040 --> 0:37:23.760
<v Speaker 9>Hey, Denni's always a pleasure sore. Okay, So my dad

0:37:24.320 --> 0:37:26.360
<v Speaker 9>told me that I had to give him back his

0:37:26.520 --> 0:37:30.040
<v Speaker 9>keys to the house. I wasn't welcome there anymore. I

0:37:30.040 --> 0:37:32.280
<v Speaker 9>didn't live there at the time, but it was because

0:37:32.560 --> 0:37:36.320
<v Speaker 9>I almost got why out. I was like why because

0:37:36.440 --> 0:37:40.640
<v Speaker 9>He's like, because you steal from most, we can't trust you.

0:37:40.640 --> 0:37:43.399
<v Speaker 9>You lie to us all the time. You know you're

0:37:43.400 --> 0:37:47.080
<v Speaker 9>not welcome here on supervised And so I went out

0:37:47.120 --> 0:37:52.320
<v Speaker 9>and I'm a low bottom drunk addict and I hit bottoms.

0:37:52.320 --> 0:37:56.799
<v Speaker 9>And today, man, they try to eliminate bottoms. Parents try

0:37:56.800 --> 0:37:57.960
<v Speaker 9>to eliminate bottoms.

0:37:58.120 --> 0:38:01.399
<v Speaker 2>That's a great line. That is a great line. Wow.

0:38:03.000 --> 0:38:06.160
<v Speaker 9>And also one other thing is the self esteem thing

0:38:06.280 --> 0:38:09.320
<v Speaker 9>is like people think they can give people self esteem,

0:38:09.360 --> 0:38:12.160
<v Speaker 9>you have to earn it. You have to earn it

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<v Speaker 9>over like thirty years now, in the last eleven twelve

0:38:16.080 --> 0:38:19.040
<v Speaker 9>years of my dad's life, we had the greatest.

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<v Speaker 2>Related I believe it. I believe it. That point on,

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<v Speaker 2>they don't want us to hit bottom. That's a big

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<v Speaker 2>reason for so many of those disgusting kids at Harvard Yard.

0:38:38.320 --> 0:38:43.040
<v Speaker 2>And also a big reason. It is the primary reason,

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<v Speaker 2>a primary, maybe not the for the neolistic leftism in

0:38:52.080 --> 0:38:59.479
<v Speaker 2>gratitude of a generation. They were raised by parents who

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<v Speaker 2>didn't want them to ever have any pain. This has

0:39:13.400 --> 0:39:14.880
<v Speaker 2>been timeless wisdom.

0:39:14.920 --> 0:39:18.920
<v Speaker 1>With Dennis Prager visit dennispragger dot com for thousands of

0:39:19.040 --> 0:39:22.759
<v Speaker 1>hours of Dennis's lectures, courses in classic radio programs, and

0:39:23.040 --> 0:39:29.799
<v Speaker 1>to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles m HM