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Speaker 1: Life Audio.

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Speaker 2: Hi friend, do you ever replay something over and over

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Speaker 2: in your mind wishing you had said something differently, done

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Speaker 2: something differently, And the more you replay it, the worse

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Speaker 2: you feel. What if you're not meant to think your

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Speaker 2: way out of it, but find peace in a completely

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Speaker 2: different way. Well, today I'm going to share why negative

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Speaker 2: thoughts keep looping and how you can gently choose prayerful

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Speaker 2: optimism instead. Well, welcome to Breathe the Stressless Podcast. I'm

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Speaker 2: Bonnie Gray. I'm your soul care guy, sole care mentor.

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Speaker 2: For this time designed just for you to rest and

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Speaker 2: refresh your soul. You're going to breathe in a beautiful

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Speaker 2: word of affirmation from God in scripture, and you'll also

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Speaker 2: pick up a practical soul care tip, something simple you

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Speaker 2: can do to restore calm to your emotions and your body.

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Speaker 2: I'm a sole care mentor and I'm the founder of

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Speaker 2: sole Care School. I've written a best selling book called

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Speaker 2: Breathe twenty one days to stress Less and transform chaos

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Speaker 2: to Calm. And today let me ask you a question.

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Speaker 2: Is there something you've been replaying in your mind? Laatetly

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Speaker 2: A conversation, a decision, a moment you wish you handled differently.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you're wondering I should have said something, Why didn't

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Speaker 2: I stop that? Well, you're not alone. Today we're going

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Speaker 2: to be talking about that loop. It's not just about stress,

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Speaker 2: but it's the kind that comes from replaying regret. We're

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Speaker 2: going to explore why our brains keep replaying stressful experiences,

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Speaker 2: and how negative thoughts like self judgment keeps the loop going,

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Speaker 2: how prayerful optimism changes your experience and stops those negative thoughts,

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Speaker 2: and a simple practice to help you move forward. If

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Speaker 2: you've been stuck in a replay of negative thoughts, this

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Speaker 2: episode is for you. Well, it's really hard to experience

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Speaker 2: more peace and emotional rest when our bodies are not

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Speaker 2: feeling well, our emotions feel stressed out, and maybe we're

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Speaker 2: feeling a little disconnected from our heart with God. Well,

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Speaker 2: I want to invite you to some really powerful courses

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Speaker 2: that I've taught thousands of women who've taken this course

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Speaker 2: to help your mental well being and specifically your emotional

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Speaker 2: well being, your spiritual wellbeing, your physical wellbeing, and your

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Speaker 2: social wellbeing. I have courses that help you to practice

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Speaker 2: gentle rhythms based on science and scripture both are important.

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Speaker 2: We need to learn what are some practical things we

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Speaker 2: can do and also see God in his word how

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Speaker 2: we can really walk in wellness with Jesus. So I

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Speaker 2: want you click in the show notes. There's links there

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Speaker 2: for you to explore how to find joy, how to

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Speaker 2: find rest, how to pray the psalms for wellness, and

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Speaker 2: you'll be able to explore that and click on the

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Speaker 2: links in the show notes.

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Speaker 1: Because I really want to.

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Speaker 2: See you there and will be right back.

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Speaker 1: Our breath.

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Speaker 2: Prayer comes to us from a beautiful scripture so powerful.

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Speaker 2: In one Peter five seven, cast all your anxiety on

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Speaker 2: him because he cares for you. Another translation encourages us

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Speaker 2: by saying, cast all your cares on him because.

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Speaker 1: He cares for you.

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Speaker 2: What a beautiful, freeing promise. Let's breathe in God's loving word.

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Speaker 2: Just inhale, I cast my anxiety on you, exhale because

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Speaker 2: you care for me. Again, in hell, I cast my

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Speaker 2: cares on you. Exhale because you care for me. And

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Speaker 2: just pause. Relax your shoulders, relax your hand hands, let

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Speaker 2: yourself feel cared for.

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Speaker 1: Held.

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Speaker 2: Jesus is beside you.

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Speaker 1: Well.

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Speaker 2: Last week I reached a milestone after three months of sabbatical,

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Speaker 2: I was finally able to walk for fifteen to twenty

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Speaker 2: minutes without pain in my foot. I've been dealing with

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Speaker 2: this mysterious foot pain for about a year now, and

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Speaker 2: it's been hard because walking outdoors, being in nature, that's

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Speaker 2: where I feel refreshed, It's where I pray, it's where

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Speaker 2: I feel God's peace most deeply. So I was really thankful,

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Speaker 2: and I decided to go see a physical therapist because

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Speaker 2: I'd already seen a podiatrist, I'd done the MRI. There

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Speaker 2: weren't any structural issues with my foot, and even the

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Speaker 2: doctor wasn't even sure what was going on. And so

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Speaker 2: a friend recommended a physical therapist. She had been seeing

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Speaker 2: him for a while and liked it, liked to working

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Speaker 2: with him. Let's just call him Greg. Well, the first

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Speaker 2: session was terrible. This physical therapist wasn't checking in, he

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Speaker 2: wasn't explaining what he was doing. He just asked me

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Speaker 2: to lie down and he just started moving my leg

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Speaker 2: and my foot like I was a hinge on a door,

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Speaker 2: swinging me back in four different parts of my foot

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Speaker 2: or my leg, and I would just yelp and say hey,

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Speaker 2: that hurt, But instead of adjusting. He'd repeat the movement

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Speaker 2: and say, oh, hey, there's the problem, and I would

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Speaker 2: just say, hey, that's too much pain. But this pet

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Speaker 2: just kept going, and I just felt so confused because

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Speaker 2: part of me was thinking, Hey, my friend likes working

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Speaker 2: with him, maybe this is normal. Maybe I just don't understand.

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Speaker 2: And friends, I didn't stop the session, but the next

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Speaker 2: day I had new pain in my hip, my knee,

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Speaker 2: and my ankle, not in my foot, but all these

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Speaker 2: other places, and I really regretted not speaking up, and

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Speaker 2: I just couldn't stop replying the scenes over and over again.

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Speaker 2: I think to myself, I should have stopped him. Why

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Speaker 2: didn't I say something? Do you ever do that?

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Speaker 1: Friend?

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Speaker 2: Do you ever replay something stressful that happened to you,

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Speaker 2: a conversation, a decision, and wish you had done it differently?

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Speaker 2: But here's what I realized. We cannot think our way

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Speaker 2: out of those moments, going back in time, replaying and

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Speaker 2: judging ourselves. It's just our brain's way of trying to

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Speaker 2: cope with something we wish had turned out differently. Every

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Speaker 2: time we replay it, the negative thoughts, the negative loop

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Speaker 2: gets stronger. But here's the thing. I noticed something deeper.

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Speaker 2: The way I was replaying it, I had a negative

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Speaker 2: bias because of how I grew up. I learned I

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Speaker 2: had to figure things out on my own, to solve things,

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Speaker 2: to take care of myself. And so one way to

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Speaker 2: protect myself is to just keep thinking of the negative

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Speaker 2: outcome and try to protect myself. But God reminded me

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Speaker 2: there is another way. I want to share it with you.

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Speaker 2: As I prayed asking God to help me to stop

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Speaker 2: replaying it, I came across a devotional by Max Lecado.

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Speaker 2: This is in his devotional book Grace. In the moment quote,

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Speaker 2: the final prayer of Jesus was about you. His pain

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Speaker 2: was for you. Before he went to the cross, he

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Speaker 2: went to the garden, and when he spoke with his father,

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Speaker 2: you were in his prayers. Jesus kneeling praying for you.

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Speaker 2: And it minded me I'm not alone.

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Speaker 1: You are not alone.

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Speaker 2: Jesus is with me. He carries my burdens. And so

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Speaker 2: I asked myself a new question. What if I assume

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Speaker 2: things would work out positively because Jesus is caring for me,

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Speaker 2: what would I change? And as I imagine Jesus sitting

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Speaker 2: next to me right there, as I was praying at

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Speaker 2: my kitchen counter. I felt and imagined his arm wrapped

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Speaker 2: around me, and a new thought came. Just think of

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Speaker 2: this like a muscle strain. It'll take time, but it

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Speaker 2: will heal. It will calm down. And as a result

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Speaker 2: of this new thought, instead of feeling urgency like I

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Speaker 2: needed to check all my pain points every hour or

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Speaker 2: every day to see if the pain was gone, I

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Speaker 2: loosened my timeline and I gave it seven to ten days.

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Speaker 2: And that's what realistic prayerful optimism does. It doesn't ignore

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Speaker 2: what happened, it changes how we respond to it. And

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Speaker 2: everything shifted. Instead of spiraling into fear, I started seeing

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Speaker 2: myself resting, icing it, giving my body time to recover.

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Speaker 2: I still followed up. I canceled future sessions, but I

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Speaker 2: stopped replaying the past and started focusing on what I

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Speaker 2: could do now, and slowly, by day five, my hip

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Speaker 2: did start feeling better. Okay, so friend, let me ask you,

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Speaker 2: what are you replaying? What are those negative thoughts and

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Speaker 2: what might change if you assume things could still work out? Well, Friend,

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Speaker 2: Jesus is with you in that moment that you keep replaying.

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Speaker 2: Jesus is not judging you. He's not disappointed in you.

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Speaker 2: Jesus is quietly, lovingly sitting beside you, and he whispers,

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Speaker 2: cast your cares upon me because I care for you.

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Speaker 2: And that's what realistic prayerful optimism does. It doesn't ignore

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Speaker 2: what happened, but it changes how we respond to it,

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Speaker 2: and everything will begin to shift. It's the kind of

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Speaker 2: thinking where it says, this is hard, but it can

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Speaker 2: still turn out okay because God is with me, because

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Speaker 2: you don't have to figure it out alone. So I

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Speaker 2: am just curious. I want you to try this imaginative

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Speaker 2: prayer practice. It's simply this. I want you to picture

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Speaker 2: Jesus with you right there in the moment, wherever you are,

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Speaker 2: next to you, and as you replay the negative situation,

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Speaker 2: what does his presence feel like? Do you feel safe, calm, steady,

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Speaker 2: allow your body to feel safe and in that place,

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Speaker 2: imagine if you were to take an optimistic, positive perspective,

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Speaker 2: what would you do differently if you assume that things

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Speaker 2: would work out positively optimistically because God cares for you

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Speaker 2: now instead of spiraling into regret, you can then begin

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Speaker 2: to see new possibilities, not from fear, but because Jesus

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Speaker 2: is beside you, so try that imaginative prayer. This practice

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Speaker 2: is something that Richard Foster talks about in the Spiritual

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Speaker 2: Disciplines in his book And we'll be right back because

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Speaker 2: we want to talk about the science. Well, there's strong

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Speaker 2: research in psychology showing that rumination, replaying negative experiences, it

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Speaker 2: will increase stress, anxiety, and even depression. But studies also

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Speaker 2: show that positive reframing and optimism can significantly improve emotional

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Speaker 2: resilience and well being. The psychologist Martin Seligman found that

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Speaker 2: people who practice optimistic thinking are better able to recover

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Speaker 2: from setbacks and experience less long term stress. Now, optimism

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Speaker 2: doesn't mean we ignore reality like we're Pollyanna. It means

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Speaker 2: asking what is still possible? What is a possible outcome

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Speaker 2: that's positive, that can still happen, what can still be okay? Now,

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Speaker 2: as people of faith, this is definitely true for us

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Speaker 2: because Jesus promises to take care of us. Jesus promises

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Speaker 2: to be faithful. So when you shift your interpretation, your

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Speaker 2: brain and your body will begin to calm, and then

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Speaker 2: you will start moving from being stuck to moving forward.

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Speaker 2: So that's how we combine our faith with something that's

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Speaker 2: very practical backed by science, is taking an optimistic point

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Speaker 2: of view, which we have because Jesus loves you, he

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Speaker 2: cares for you, and he'll be faithful. Now here's the

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Speaker 2: practical soul care challenge. I want to send you out

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Speaker 2: into your week and into your day. I want you

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Speaker 2: to do it this week. Do one simple activity with

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Speaker 2: no outcome attached, but it will make you feel better.

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Speaker 2: You're just doing it because it'll bring you peace or joy,

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Speaker 2: something gentle, something enjoyable that helps you to bring you

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Speaker 2: into the present moment. When you do those things, it'll

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Speaker 2: take you away from that loop in our heads. Research

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Speaker 2: shows that engaging in simple sensory activities through your body

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Speaker 2: can help interrupt those negative thoughts and then increase your

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Speaker 2: feeling of well being. So it's okay if you don't

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Speaker 2: feel like doing it, you want to take action. Through

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Speaker 2: the action, you'll feel better. Okay, here are some ideas,

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Speaker 2: all right, these are ones that I have done this

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Speaker 2: past week. So just pick one right which one jumps

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Speaker 2: out at you. Buy yourself fresh flowers and notice which

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Speaker 2: color you are drawn too. I usually buy pink or white,

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Speaker 2: but this past week I chose orange. Orange is energizing

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Speaker 2: and it represents newness. Okay, so is it buying fresh flowers? Second,

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Speaker 2: take a slow walk and notice signs of spring. Third,

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Speaker 2: sit outside and feel the sun on your skin. Fourth,

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Speaker 2: visit a bookstore or library and browse. See what captures

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Speaker 2: your attention. In our library, we have a section where

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Speaker 2: they have used books and they only cost two to

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Speaker 2: three dollars. And I pick to the novel never read

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Speaker 2: it before. It's called The Cane Mutiny. It's about World

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Speaker 2: War two stuff. I like, what about you? Okay, go

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Speaker 2: visit a bookstore or library. This last idea my son

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Speaker 2: used it who was really busy with some heavy school projects,

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Speaker 2: and I gave him a little eucalyptus shower steamer that

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Speaker 2: helped him release some stress and he returned to his

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Speaker 2: work after this nice shower. You'll see a link in

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Speaker 2: my show notes for this eucalyptus shower steamer. It uses

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Speaker 2: natural aromatherapy central oils of eucalyptus. So check it out.

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Speaker 2: Do something that helps your body feel safe, and when

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Speaker 2: you do that, your mind then can let go. Okay.

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Speaker 2: So that's the catch. Don't wait until you're not stressed

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Speaker 2: out or worried to do something that soothing for you.

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Speaker 2: Just do it first, even if you're not in the mood,

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Speaker 2: and your mood will change.

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Speaker 1: Well, let's pray.

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Speaker 2: Jesus, thank you that we don't have to walk through

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Speaker 2: life alone when we replay the past. You're right with us,

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Speaker 2: you love us, you accept us, you understand, help us

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Speaker 2: to release our cares upon you and rest in your presence.

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Speaker 2: You're with us, you're for us, and you hold us

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Speaker 2: close to your heart. Ammen. Well, friend, has this episode

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Speaker 2: encouraged you? Go ahead and share this episode with a friend,

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Speaker 2: and if I could ask a favor, I would love

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Speaker 2: to be able to hear. If you've enjoyed it, drop

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Speaker 2: a review or a rating. It really helps this podcast

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Speaker 2: get into new ears and new hands. Thank you for

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Speaker 2: your support and your encouragement. Remember to check out the

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Speaker 2: show notes for the courses online courses for your wellness

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Speaker 2: and I hope to see you there. Remember that you're

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Speaker 2: loved and you're cherished. Just rest and.

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Speaker 1: I'll see you next time. Breathe.

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Speaker 2: The stress Less Podcast is a production of Life Audio

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Speaker 2: and Salem Media. If you like what you heard today,

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Speaker 2: please take a second to rate and review this podcast

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Speaker 2: in your favorite podcast app so that more listeners like

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Speaker 2: you can find the show. For more faith filled, inspirational podcasts,

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Speaker 2: visit us at lifeaudio dot com.