WEBVTT - The #1 Priority Every Parent Must Teach 0:00:02.680 --> 0:00:07.320 Life audio on today's episode of Timeless Wisdom. 0:00:07.720 --> 0:00:11.560 Raising children is the ultimate issue of this particular hour, 0:00:11.680 --> 0:00:19.440 and specifically specifically the issue of character. Uber alas character 0:00:19.800 --> 0:00:24.119 above all that in setting priorities for how we raise 0:00:24.160 --> 0:00:28.280 our children, character has to be number one. And for 0:00:28.720 --> 0:00:34.280 very very very many parents, goodwilled and decent people, very 0:00:34.320 --> 0:00:37.880 often character is not number one in the way they 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:39.080 raise their children. 0:00:39.520 --> 0:00:44.159 That's coming up on Timeless Wisdom. But Dennis Prager, Welcome 0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:48.479 to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of hours 0:00:48.479 --> 0:00:51.839 of Dennis's lectures, courses in classic radio programs, and to 0:00:51.840 --> 0:01:00.000 purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to Dennisprager dot com. 0:01:00.240 --> 0:01:05.200 To be or not to be? That is the question? 0:01:06.520 --> 0:01:07.160 Where was God? 0:01:07.720 --> 0:01:09.000 Isn't God supposed to be good? 0:01:09.240 --> 0:01:11.760 This need supposed to love us? Does God want us 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:13.640 to suffer ten years? 0:01:13.680 --> 0:01:20.760 You're not finished yet? Why did you go there? Who 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:21.080 are you? 0:01:23.000 --> 0:01:23.319 Bruce? 0:01:24.959 --> 0:01:27.520 I am God? Bingo yazi? 0:01:28.160 --> 0:01:29.240 Is that your final answer? 0:01:29.440 --> 0:01:33.440 Our surveyce has God bing ding dinging ding ding ding ding. 0:01:33.959 --> 0:01:36.039 Well, it was nice to meet you God, Thank you 0:01:36.080 --> 0:01:38.559 for the Grand Canyon, and good luck with the apocalypse. 0:01:41.600 --> 0:01:44.720 Dennis Prager here, This is the Ultimate Issues hour, every hour, 0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:51.440 every hour, it's auspicious opening. Every week at this hour, 0:01:51.720 --> 0:01:53.880 I talk to you about some great issue of life, 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:56.920 and it's called the Ultimate Issues Hour. Pleasure to be 0:01:57.000 --> 0:01:59.240 with you again. I'm Dennis Prager, and thank you for 0:01:59.280 --> 0:02:03.720 being with me. Raising children is the ultimate issue of 0:02:03.760 --> 0:02:10.160 this particular hour, and specifically, specifically the issue of character 0:02:10.639 --> 0:02:16.760 uber alas character above all that in setting priorities for 0:02:16.880 --> 0:02:20.200 how we raise our children, character has to be number one. 0:02:21.200 --> 0:02:27.280 And for very very very many parents, goodwilled and decent people, 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:30.919 very often character is not number one in the way 0:02:31.080 --> 0:02:34.760 they raise their children. And I will give you example 0:02:34.800 --> 0:02:40.000 after example where we will place success above character. We 0:02:40.120 --> 0:02:45.200 will place feeling good about themselves above character. We will 0:02:45.240 --> 0:02:52.160 place being healthy above character. We will place being popular 0:02:52.240 --> 0:02:56.239 above character. Here is a test, by the way that 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:59.400 you might want to engage in with your child, and 0:02:59.440 --> 0:03:03.720 it's if you're child is five or your child is fifty, 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:09.120 it's still worth doing. Here goes, what do you think 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:13.120 Ask your child, whether five anywhere between five and fifty. 0:03:15.160 --> 0:03:18.040 What do you think I your mom or I your 0:03:18.240 --> 0:03:21.720 dad most want you to be? You have to get 0:03:21.720 --> 0:03:25.600 the language perfectly down, folks, otherwise it doesn't work. What 0:03:25.760 --> 0:03:29.760 do you think I most want you to be? Not 0:03:29.919 --> 0:03:33.240 what do you most want to be? No? No, no, no, 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:37.840 no no new. What do you think I most want 0:03:37.920 --> 0:03:49.240 you to be? Happy? Smart, successful, good? And then you 0:03:49.640 --> 0:03:52.920 will learn whether goodness has been the priority. Now you 0:03:52.960 --> 0:03:55.920 know how much emphasis I place on happiness. In fact, 0:03:56.640 --> 0:04:00.840 the ultimate issue is our idea derived from the success 0:04:00.880 --> 0:04:03.200 of my Happiness Hour, which I have every week and 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:08.240 have had for about ten years. I place enormous importance 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:12.360 on being happy. Happy people make the world better, not 0:04:12.400 --> 0:04:16.040 on having pleasure. Pleasure is not the same as happiness, 0:04:16.040 --> 0:04:21.679 but that's another subject. Now I'm talking here about being good. 0:04:22.000 --> 0:04:24.280 That's the number one thing we have to be in 0:04:24.320 --> 0:04:30.080 life is to be good. And this hour I argue 0:04:30.640 --> 0:04:35.039 that in raising children, goodness, being a good person, treating 0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:39.640 others decently, not being a bully, not picking on, being honest, 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:43.320 not cheating on tests, being a good and decent purpose 0:04:43.720 --> 0:04:49.280 a person are not the priorities in raising children. Other 0:04:49.400 --> 0:04:54.160 things are feeling good about oneself in the self esteem movement, 0:04:55.839 --> 0:05:01.440 and doing well in school. Those are things that animate 0:05:01.600 --> 0:05:04.800 much of the upbringing of our children. Has another question 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:09.320 to ask your child, but this time it's if actually 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:11.200 you could ask your child has to be in high 0:05:11.200 --> 0:05:15.640 school for this high school or older? Do you think 0:05:15.920 --> 0:05:19.200 I would be more upset if you cheated on a 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:23.720 test and got into a prestigious university thanks to that, 0:05:24.800 --> 0:05:28.320 or didn't cheat and never got accepted to a good 0:05:28.640 --> 0:05:32.640 to what I consider to be a good college. Which 0:05:32.640 --> 0:05:35.040 do you think would upset me your father or upset 0:05:35.080 --> 0:05:39.120 me your mother more? If you cheated but you got 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:42.719 into a great university, or you never cheated and didn't 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:46.880 go to a great university, which would upset me more? 0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:52.159 The cheating or the not getting into a great college. Now, 0:05:52.240 --> 0:05:57.280 this started this issue which I have raised at different 0:05:57.279 --> 0:06:00.920 times in different ways and coalescing now into this ultimate Issues. 0:06:00.960 --> 0:06:04.039 Hour began with a question that I will post to you. 0:06:05.839 --> 0:06:08.479 To those of you raising, let us say, a teenager, 0:06:08.720 --> 0:06:11.279 not let us say, for those of you raising a teenager, 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:22.799 would you rather your child cheated on tests or smoked cigarettes? Okay, 0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:26.880 that's my question for you. One eight prager seven seven 0:06:27.000 --> 0:06:29.800 six one eight p r A g e Er seven 0:06:29.920 --> 0:06:32.599 seven six. Now I always get not always, I often 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:37.719 get the answer, Well, that's apples, and that's apples and oranges. Yes, 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:41.520 I admit it's apples and oranges. That is correct. So 0:06:41.600 --> 0:06:44.280 I'm asking you which do you prefer, apples or oranges? 0:06:45.400 --> 0:06:50.200 I fully acknowledge its apples and oranges. I'm not asking 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:52.280 would you prefer your child cheat on tests or not 0:06:52.360 --> 0:06:55.640 cheat on tests? I know your answer, except in the 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:58.520 case of the getting into a great college issue. But 0:06:58.600 --> 0:07:01.560 I'm asking here what what would you rather or which 0:07:01.560 --> 0:07:05.720 would upset you more? If your child cheated on tests 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:11.800 or smoked? Then I'm talking marijuana, smoke, tobacco one eight 0:07:11.920 --> 0:07:15.480 prager seven seven six one eight p R A g 0:07:15.640 --> 0:07:21.160 E R seven seven six. People get very uncomfortable. I 0:07:21.280 --> 0:07:23.960 have tried this, and people get very I get hate mail. 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:25.960 I've gotten hate mail on this this I wrote about 0:07:25.960 --> 0:07:29.920 it a long time ago. People are get get very 0:07:29.920 --> 0:07:32.000 annoyed with me with this question. I don't find the 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:34.360 question annoying in the least to me. There's no question 0:07:34.920 --> 0:07:38.400 I rather my teenager smoked than and didn't cheat, than 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:45.240 cheat and didn't smoke. There's no question the smoking may 0:07:45.360 --> 0:07:48.720 or may not stop. Uh and uh and uh. Even 0:07:48.760 --> 0:07:52.080 if not, then there is a possibility that much later 0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:56.080 on in life he or she will suffer health health 0:07:56.160 --> 0:08:00.120 problems as a result, but certainly not now. I'll but 0:08:00.200 --> 0:08:05.160 if I don't register my my powerful, powerful disapproval of 0:08:05.800 --> 0:08:10.520 the of the cheating, then then the character is being 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:15.840 that is being formed is the most troubling thing to me. 0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:23.400 So I'm very clear about it. Many, many wonderful, decent 0:08:23.480 --> 0:08:31.119 people have smoked, but if a non smoker cheats, that's 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:35.240 that's bad news, very bad news. So my children, I'm 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:37.680 not saying that I that I am a perfect parent. 0:08:37.760 --> 0:08:41.200 I'm far, far, far from it. I've learned a lot 0:08:41.240 --> 0:08:45.160 in parenthood through mistakes that I've made, but it's been 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:48.440 no question to my children what is most important to 0:08:48.480 --> 0:08:54.120 me their character? And you may have a different priority. Fine, 0:08:54.200 --> 0:08:57.840 I'm here for clarity, and a lot of parents are 0:08:57.920 --> 0:09:03.560 not are not fully clear about what messages they are 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:09.440 sending to their child, and that's why you need to 0:09:09.520 --> 0:09:13.679 prioritize for yourself what is most important. For those of 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:16.840 you who answer on this question, well, I don't want 0:09:16.880 --> 0:09:18.720 my child to smoke, and I don't want my child 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:22.200 to cheat. That's fine. I didn't ask you whether you 0:09:22.280 --> 0:09:24.640 want your child to smoke. I asked you which would 0:09:24.679 --> 0:09:28.760 trouble you more? And if you say equally. Then that's 0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:33.640 a statement too, that health issues and character issues are 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:36.880 identical to you. All right, So that and that too 0:09:37.800 --> 0:09:41.640 is a is an important aspect of the way in 0:09:41.679 --> 0:09:43.920 which we raise our children. That's why this is an 0:09:43.960 --> 0:09:47.000 ultimate issue, because the way we raise our children is 0:09:47.000 --> 0:09:50.560 the way the future of any society will be. And 0:09:50.600 --> 0:09:56.199 I strongly believe that for many children, character is not integrity, honesty, decency, 0:09:57.360 --> 0:10:01.520 goodness is not the priority one eight Frager seven seven six, 0:10:02.559 --> 0:10:07.720 And we go to Grand Prairie, California and Nancy, Hello, Nancy, 0:10:07.720 --> 0:10:08.520 Dennis Prager. 0:10:08.840 --> 0:10:12.560 Hi, Dennis Prager. I'm nice speaking with you. Actually, you 0:10:12.600 --> 0:10:14.400 know what, I totally agree with you. I would rather 0:10:14.440 --> 0:10:18.080 my child smoke than be dishonest. I've told him that 0:10:18.520 --> 0:10:21.160 his word is the only thing in the world that 0:10:21.240 --> 0:10:24.600 he owns. And when he gives his word and that's 0:10:24.600 --> 0:10:28.360 to be honest and truthful, then I mean he's he 0:10:28.440 --> 0:10:32.880 is controlling his life. When he lies, he's not, so, 0:10:33.240 --> 0:10:35.560 of course I don't want him to smoke either, Yes. 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:39.320 Yes, exactly, absolutely all right, Well, congratulations to you. I 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:41.720 have no doubt that that affects the way your child 0:10:41.760 --> 0:10:45.199 will will grow up in the type of person that 0:10:45.240 --> 0:10:49.000 the child will be as an adult. Paul and Woodland Hills, California. 0:10:49.040 --> 0:10:49.760 Dennis Prager. 0:10:50.240 --> 0:10:52.680 Hi, Dennis, it's Paul. I just wanted to let you 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:55.959 know how much impacted my life with my own children 0:10:57.200 --> 0:11:00.480 about seven or eight years ago, and my daughter's going 0:11:00.480 --> 0:11:04.400 to school here in Los Angeles, in public school. The 0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:08.400 emphasis whenever I would go to whenever I would go 0:11:08.440 --> 0:11:11.760 to a dinner party or something, everybody would talk about 0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:14.160 for kids, and they all wanted me to tell me 0:11:14.480 --> 0:11:18.960 that their kid was accepted into this magnet program that's right, programs. 0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:21.960 And I sat back and I turned to this one 0:11:22.000 --> 0:11:23.560 man I remember, and I said, you know, I said, 0:11:23.559 --> 0:11:25.640 that's really great, how smart. 0:11:25.360 --> 0:11:25.920 Your kid is. 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:30.040 But I'm really interested is you're a child, a good person. 0:11:30.320 --> 0:11:33.000 God bless you, And I guess God bless me if 0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:35.720 that's what I brought to you. We re turning a moment. 0:11:35.840 --> 0:11:38.480 I will repeat the questions you should ask your kids. 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:45.240 This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 0:11:50.760 --> 0:11:54.959 Now back to more of Dennis Praguer's Timeless Wisdom. 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:58.400 Hi, everybody, Dennis Praguer here. This is the ultimate issues hour, 0:11:58.480 --> 0:12:00.920 and one ultimate issue was certainly, how do we raise 0:12:00.920 --> 0:12:04.480 our children, and I'm focusing in on the issue of 0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:09.640 emphasizing character goodness above everything else, above their being happy 0:12:09.760 --> 0:12:12.520 above and you know how important, how much importance I 0:12:12.559 --> 0:12:15.880 place on happiness above their being smart, above their being successful. 0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:18.679 And I will repeat the question that I suggest that 0:12:18.720 --> 0:12:22.400 you ask your child whether five or fifty, during the 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:25.160 course of this hour, and or at least twice, at 0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:28.920 least once or twice. But I have asked the question. 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:34.000 I have asked the question to give an example, if 0:12:34.000 --> 0:12:36.720 you have a teenager, would you rather your teenager cheat 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:40.840 on tests or smoke as an example of you setting 0:12:40.840 --> 0:12:44.000 for your own self your priorities. And we go to 0:12:44.080 --> 0:12:48.600 Chicago and Greg Chicago, Greg, Dennis Prager. Heigh, Okay, well, 0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:49.800 thanks for calling good. 0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:54.160 I would definitely think that the cheating is worse than smoking. 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:58.079 And it's funny. I'm reading a book right now about 0:12:58.080 --> 0:13:02.680 Ben Hogan. It's called American Here and think about Ben Hogan. 0:13:03.360 --> 0:13:07.800 He was, you know, very much a purist, very honest, hardworking, 0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:11.840 you know, very dedicated, but he smoked, and he smoked 0:13:11.840 --> 0:13:14.320 a lot. And it's just, you know, I think the 0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:17.000 character flaw is a much more important thing to deal 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:19.880 with with your children. You know, smoking is something that 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:22.160 you can address. Obviously you don't want him to do it, 0:13:22.520 --> 0:13:25.400 but you can address that. But if they have character flaws, 0:13:25.840 --> 0:13:27.800 that's just something that you really have to deal with 0:13:27.880 --> 0:13:28.880 right at the beginning. 0:13:28.960 --> 0:13:32.240 Yep, well said my friend. I appreciate that. Eric in 0:13:32.320 --> 0:13:34.080 Honolulu Dennis Prager. 0:13:33.800 --> 0:13:39.960 High, Hey, well, I just want to say that, you know, 0:13:40.000 --> 0:13:42.839 I recently pulled my two of my poor children out 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:46.199 of public school so I could have a little more 0:13:46.520 --> 0:13:47.760 emphasis on their lives. 0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:51.719 And the upbringing. You mean you mean to homeschool, then 0:13:52.880 --> 0:13:53.440 homeschool them? 0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:57.240 Yes, yeah, Okay, go on and learning about homeschooling and 0:13:57.280 --> 0:14:00.600 about the importance of homeschooling. One of the biggest features 0:14:00.600 --> 0:14:04.600 of that is being able to instill not just religion, 0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:08.720 but character building that they can't do in public schools. 0:14:09.040 --> 0:14:11.640 And as far as your question earlier about the cheating 0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:16.559 or smoking, I would have to say emphatically that cheating 0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:19.640 would be the larger of two flaws, because if you 0:14:19.680 --> 0:14:23.720 build the character of a child of a person, then 0:14:23.880 --> 0:14:26.320 their self esteem and their self awareness is going to 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:29.240 go along with that. And the smoking issue, if it 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:33.680 were an issue, would dissolve sooner or later. 0:14:33.720 --> 0:14:36.680 Anyway, So how do you deal with the cognitive dissonance 0:14:36.680 --> 0:14:40.080 of knowing? I assume you feel that I have at 0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:46.800 least an acceptable level of integrity talking about me, Dennis. Okay, 0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:48.600 but I smoke a cigar every day? 0:14:49.160 --> 0:14:49.520 Okay. 0:14:50.160 --> 0:14:52.920 Do you feel it's a character flaw and I'm not 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:55.640 being insulted, don't worry about it. I want to understand 0:14:55.680 --> 0:14:58.960 how it sounds to me as if you said that 0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:02.280 character there is number one, and character will then take 0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:04.640 care of the smoking issue, because if you're a good character, 0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:05.760 you won't smoke. 0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:09.320 Well in as much as a self awareness of health 0:15:09.400 --> 0:15:14.480 and what you consider is good for your body. Everyone 0:15:14.520 --> 0:15:19.280 has their release, Everyone has their their way of dealing 0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:21.840 with stress. Some people smoke, some people drink, some people 0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:25.720 do different things, and within moderation, as long as it 0:15:25.760 --> 0:15:30.160 relieves the damage and danger of stress, then it is 0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:31.760 in the end helpful. 0:15:32.000 --> 0:15:34.440 Okay, well said, Okay, all right, I just wanted to 0:15:34.480 --> 0:15:38.040 make that clear, Eric, Thank you so much. All right, right, 0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:41.680 pre appreciate your call. Yeah, because that's simply I don't 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:44.000 want people to be confused. There were health issues and 0:15:44.000 --> 0:15:47.480 there were character issues. They're not the same thing. And 0:15:48.280 --> 0:15:51.400 that's very important. For people to understand. In a in 0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:54.000 a film that Alan and I made with David Zucker 0:15:54.040 --> 0:15:58.000 On Goodness, we have a scene where we show two 0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:01.760 tables at a restaurant, and at one of the tables 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:07.960 is a is an unbelievably uh let's see what a 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:10.360 guy who's like a model or a woman who's like 0:16:10.360 --> 0:16:12.160 a model. I don't even remember, but I remember the 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:15.360 other table was a very heavy guy. And the very 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:19.120 heavy guy treated the waitress beautifully and and left a 0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:22.680 very nice tip, and the really good looking health fiend 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:29.800 basically was it was a demanding, an arrogant person. There 0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:35.640 there is no connection really between health and character. It's 0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:39.600 very good to be healthy, and it's and and that's 0:16:39.720 --> 0:16:43.320 wonderful thing, but it's not a character issue. Are you 0:16:43.400 --> 0:16:48.160 more likely to be treated well by by a a fit, trim, 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:51.000 fit person than than by a fat person? I had 0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:53.680 The idea is preposterous to me. I have no idea. 0:16:55.640 --> 0:16:59.760 Who would be kinder under any given or more honest 0:16:59.800 --> 0:17:04.640 on or any given circumstance. I have no idea. That's 0:17:04.760 --> 0:17:06.840 part of the reason I raised this on an Ultimate 0:17:06.880 --> 0:17:09.320 Issues Hour is for you to be clear. You can't 0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:12.000 raise your children with clarity. If you don't have clarity 0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:15.359 for you, This is not a criticism. It's true for 0:17:15.440 --> 0:17:17.920 all of us. If we're not clear about what we 0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:22.119 think is most important, how can we possibly convey to 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:28.439 our children? All right? Steven Rosemond, Minnesota, Dennis Prager, High, Hi, 0:17:28.600 --> 0:17:30.040 how are you okay? Thank you? 0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:32.520 I guess I would like to assert that I would 0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:35.439 rather I mean, I am not a parent by any means, 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:38.640 but I would rather have my child smoke rather than cheat. 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:43.800 I guess I would have a hard time separating waiting 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:48.600 with being a character flaw. I mean with with smoking. 0:17:48.680 --> 0:17:51.320 I feel like it's also a character flaw. That is 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:51.760 something that. 0:17:51.760 --> 0:17:53.840 Wait, wait, wait, so which which would you rather your 0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:55.240 child do? Smoke or cheat? 0:17:55.600 --> 0:17:57.280 I would rather have them cheat. 0:17:57.480 --> 0:17:58.560 Because you said smoke. 0:17:59.000 --> 0:18:00.199 Well, I'm sorry. 0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:02.760 I had a feeling that we were confused. Okay, okay, 0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:05.399 you rather have your child that's okay, You rather have 0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:07.560 your child cheat than smoke? Because go on. 0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:11.720 I would rather have them cheat because I feel like 0:18:11.760 --> 0:18:15.119 that's also a teaching moment and it's it's something that 0:18:15.160 --> 0:18:18.320 you can work on. Yes, I mean, I'm not condoning 0:18:18.560 --> 0:18:22.440 either of them. However, smoking, I feel like is also 0:18:22.600 --> 0:18:25.080 just something that's going to be a lifelong addiction. It's 0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:28.879 going to be something that they're stuck with. And I 0:18:28.920 --> 0:18:31.720 would have a hard time separating that as not a 0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:34.960 character flaw. I mean, they're turned most. I would say 0:18:35.520 --> 0:18:37.160 a lot of people turn to that, you know, when 0:18:37.160 --> 0:18:41.000 they're stressed out, and there's other more productive ways that 0:18:41.040 --> 0:18:42.800 I feel like you can get rid of stress. Yeah, 0:18:42.800 --> 0:18:45.560 but it's percising or being outside, you know, those sort 0:18:45.600 --> 0:18:45.960 of things. 0:18:46.119 --> 0:18:49.320 Yeah, of course that's true about about many things. But 0:18:49.400 --> 0:18:53.960 it's it's it's a health issue. It's why do you 0:18:54.080 --> 0:18:57.200 call it a character issue? Do you think that everybody 0:18:57.200 --> 0:19:00.640 who smokes? I mean, I'll use me again. You listen 0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:02.600 to my show. You must have some respect for me. 0:19:03.040 --> 0:19:03.680 Yep, yep. 0:19:03.800 --> 0:19:06.520 Well, so when you when I publicly acknowledge that I 0:19:06.560 --> 0:19:10.159 smoke a cigar and a pipe, does that do you 0:19:10.400 --> 0:19:13.040 feel that well? That's look, it's you know, I wish 0:19:13.080 --> 0:19:16.960 Dennis didn't because the ultimate health benefit of not is great. 0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:20.159 But still in all it doesn't it doesn't impact my 0:19:20.320 --> 0:19:22.800 understanding of his character. Or do you truly feel that 0:19:22.880 --> 0:19:24.000 that's a character flaw? 0:19:24.480 --> 0:19:27.120 Well, I guess it's a I feel as though it's 0:19:27.160 --> 0:19:31.760 not respecting yourself as much as one would. And I 0:19:32.040 --> 0:19:33.840 guess the same could be said for cheating at the 0:19:33.880 --> 0:19:34.480 same time. 0:19:35.000 --> 0:19:37.720 No, but cheating is not a matter of respecting oneself. 0:19:37.800 --> 0:19:41.640 Cheating is a matter of hurting everybody else. It's an 0:19:41.640 --> 0:19:43.400 ethical character issue. 0:19:45.040 --> 0:19:46.919 Well, I guess I'm just gonna have to disagree with that. 0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:49.280 Okay, that's fine, And I'm a character and you know 0:19:49.359 --> 0:19:51.879 I appreciate disagreement, and you know I only aim for 0:19:51.920 --> 0:19:55.520 clarity rather than agreement anyway. But all right, there is 0:19:55.560 --> 0:19:58.080 a man who is twenty three now, and he's not 0:19:58.160 --> 0:20:01.080 a father, as he points out, but when he's a father, 0:20:01.280 --> 0:20:04.720 he will emphasize health. In my view, health over character. 0:20:04.960 --> 0:20:07.960 All right, he has his priorities. That is the question 0:20:08.080 --> 0:20:11.080 that I am posing to you on this I Ultimate 0:20:11.080 --> 0:20:15.639 Issues Hour. For me, character trumps every other aspect of 0:20:15.840 --> 0:20:17.439 a child's growing up. 0:20:21.640 --> 0:20:24.960 This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 0:20:30.480 --> 0:20:34.640 Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom. 0:20:34.640 --> 0:20:36.840 Dennis Prager. Here this is the hour of the week 0:20:36.880 --> 0:20:39.560 I call the Ultimate Issues Hour. Every week at this 0:20:39.720 --> 0:20:43.159 time some great issue of life, And here is the 0:20:43.200 --> 0:20:47.240 priorities with which we raise our children and is character 0:20:47.320 --> 0:20:50.520 number one, goodness number one. That to me is clear, 0:20:50.800 --> 0:20:53.679 and that is what I am emphasizing here. And to 0:20:53.680 --> 0:20:56.280 give you an idea of some of the conflicts that 0:20:56.400 --> 0:21:00.920 arise in parents raising of their children. The question of well, 0:21:01.000 --> 0:21:03.399 is health more important? Is getting into a good school 0:21:03.440 --> 0:21:06.360 more important? How? How much would you be troubled by 0:21:06.480 --> 0:21:08.840 your child's cheating on tests if it got them into 0:21:08.920 --> 0:21:12.640 a great college? And and my question of the hour 0:21:13.720 --> 0:21:18.360 would you rather your teenager smoked or cheated? And there 0:21:18.480 --> 0:21:21.119 is one recurring theme here. Well, I guess I should 0:21:21.160 --> 0:21:24.280 allow you folks to do the recurring theme. But let 0:21:24.280 --> 0:21:26.960 me get as more as many of your calls as possible. 0:21:27.000 --> 0:21:29.400 If you've gotten police, stay on. There are very important 0:21:29.400 --> 0:21:33.760 calls up there. Jesse and Akron Ohio. Hi Jesse, Dennis Prager, 0:21:33.760 --> 0:21:34.359 how old are you? 0:21:35.080 --> 0:21:35.639 I'm eleven? 0:21:35.960 --> 0:21:37.200 Okay, thank you for calling. 0:21:39.119 --> 0:21:39.199 So. 0:21:40.400 --> 0:21:44.560 My dad thinks that it's more in it would be 0:21:44.600 --> 0:21:51.359 worse if they cheated on a test, because well, it 0:21:51.440 --> 0:21:56.159 would affect other kids around us, and it would they 0:21:56.160 --> 0:21:58.760 would think that it would be all right to cheat. 0:21:59.480 --> 0:22:01.240 Mm hmm. What do you think. 0:22:01.720 --> 0:22:03.560 Well, I think that's pretty much the same too. 0:22:04.040 --> 0:22:07.399 M h Well, that's wonderful. You have a good dad. 0:22:08.720 --> 0:22:16.120 Thanks. And well also my sisters, which one is seventeen 0:22:16.240 --> 0:22:18.520 and the other is fourteen or fifteen. 0:22:20.080 --> 0:22:23.680 They you're not sure of your other sister's age. You're 0:22:23.720 --> 0:22:26.520 not sure of your other sister's age. Well, that's okay. 0:22:27.080 --> 0:22:27.960 So they. 0:22:29.520 --> 0:22:34.760 My mom got them a thing for Christmas for smoking, 0:22:35.480 --> 0:22:37.760 and they actually started. 0:22:37.400 --> 0:22:37.919 To use it. 0:22:39.119 --> 0:22:42.800 And wait, wait wait, your mom got them what for smoking? 0:22:44.240 --> 0:22:45.240 I forgot what it's called. 0:22:45.280 --> 0:22:47.000 But it's just to stop smoking. 0:22:48.280 --> 0:22:49.280 It's an Arabic thing. 0:22:50.560 --> 0:22:51.360 Oh wa hookah? 0:22:51.520 --> 0:22:56.440 Yeah okay, yeah, so well they started it, but when 0:22:56.440 --> 0:22:59.600 we found out that, we just said stop right now, 0:23:00.560 --> 0:23:02.720 don't do it anymore. They took him away. 0:23:02.920 --> 0:23:06.119 Well, well, a hookah is not particularly dangerous, yeah, I know, 0:23:06.280 --> 0:23:10.680 but it's it's probably if it's a substitute for cigarettes, 0:23:10.720 --> 0:23:11.760 it's particularly good. 0:23:11.800 --> 0:23:15.639 Actually, yeah, but it's still legal until you're eighteen. 0:23:16.040 --> 0:23:22.159 Ah, that part of it. Oops, it's okay, it's all right. 0:23:22.320 --> 0:23:25.800 Well I can't advocate breaking the lawn radio, but yeah, 0:23:26.200 --> 0:23:27.880 tell your mom I wouldn't report her. 0:23:28.520 --> 0:23:32.440 Yeah, okay, okay, thank you, thank you, Jesse. I didn't 0:23:32.480 --> 0:23:38.639 even know what was wrong about well so so so 0:23:38.800 --> 0:23:43.840 be it. Okay, this is really very important stuff. Lance 0:23:43.960 --> 0:23:46.879 in San Diego, California high Lands Dennis Prager. 0:23:48.600 --> 0:23:52.679 No, not the child, but the kid, the gentleman. Right 0:23:52.720 --> 0:23:55.080 before that, I used to feel exactly like him with 0:23:55.200 --> 0:24:00.000 the you know, thinking that cheating was was not as bad. 0:24:00.040 --> 0:24:02.400 That is smoking, right, you know. 0:24:02.400 --> 0:24:05.000 Oh, the one who's twenty to twenty three year old. Yeah? 0:24:05.040 --> 0:24:08.439 And then what happened? When did you change? You know? 0:24:08.760 --> 0:24:12.280 I don't, I don't know. I just I kind of 0:24:12.359 --> 0:24:13.800 knew you were right, but I didn't feel that way. 0:24:13.800 --> 0:24:18.120 But what did it for me was I thought, who 0:24:18.119 --> 0:24:21.960 would I rather marry or date? You know, a smoker 0:24:22.080 --> 0:24:22.600 or a liar? 0:24:23.200 --> 0:24:26.240 There you go, that's it. That's a great way of 0:24:26.320 --> 0:24:26.880