Speaker 1: Life audio on today's episode of Timeless Wisdom.
Speaker 2: Raising children is the ultimate issue of this particular hour,
Speaker 2: and specifically specifically the issue of character. Uber alas character
Speaker 2: above all that in setting priorities for how we raise
Speaker 2: our children, character has to be number one. And for
Speaker 2: very very very many parents, goodwilled and decent people, very
Speaker 2: often character is not number one in the way they
Speaker 2: raise their children.
Speaker 1: That's coming up on Timeless Wisdom. But Dennis Prager, Welcome
Speaker 1: to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of hours
Speaker 1: of Dennis's lectures, courses in classic radio programs, and to
Speaker 1: purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to Dennisprager dot com.
Speaker 2: To be or not to be? That is the question?
Speaker 3: Where was God?
Speaker 2: Isn't God supposed to be good?
Speaker 4: This need supposed to love us? Does God want us
Speaker 4: to suffer ten years?
Speaker 2: You're not finished yet? Why did you go there? Who
Speaker 2: are you?
Speaker 1: Bruce?
Speaker 2: I am God? Bingo yazi?
Speaker 5: Is that your final answer?
Speaker 6: Our surveyce has God bing ding dinging ding ding ding ding.
Speaker 7: Well, it was nice to meet you God, Thank you
Speaker 7: for the Grand Canyon, and good luck with the apocalypse.
Speaker 2: Dennis Prager here, This is the Ultimate Issues hour, every hour,
Speaker 2: every hour, it's auspicious opening. Every week at this hour,
Speaker 2: I talk to you about some great issue of life,
Speaker 2: and it's called the Ultimate Issues Hour. Pleasure to be
Speaker 2: with you again. I'm Dennis Prager, and thank you for
Speaker 2: being with me. Raising children is the ultimate issue of
Speaker 2: this particular hour, and specifically, specifically the issue of character
Speaker 2: uber alas character above all that in setting priorities for
Speaker 2: how we raise our children, character has to be number one.
Speaker 2: And for very very very many parents, goodwilled and decent people,
Speaker 2: very often character is not number one in the way
Speaker 2: they raise their children. And I will give you example
Speaker 2: after example where we will place success above character. We
Speaker 2: will place feeling good about themselves above character. We will
Speaker 2: place being healthy above character. We will place being popular
Speaker 2: above character. Here is a test, by the way that
Speaker 2: you might want to engage in with your child, and
Speaker 2: it's if you're child is five or your child is fifty,
Speaker 2: it's still worth doing. Here goes, what do you think
Speaker 2: Ask your child, whether five anywhere between five and fifty.
Speaker 2: What do you think I your mom or I your
Speaker 2: dad most want you to be? You have to get
Speaker 2: the language perfectly down, folks, otherwise it doesn't work. What
Speaker 2: do you think I most want you to be? Not
Speaker 2: what do you most want to be? No? No, no, no,
Speaker 2: no no new. What do you think I most want
Speaker 2: you to be? Happy? Smart, successful, good? And then you
Speaker 2: will learn whether goodness has been the priority. Now you
Speaker 2: know how much emphasis I place on happiness. In fact,
Speaker 2: the ultimate issue is our idea derived from the success
Speaker 2: of my Happiness Hour, which I have every week and
Speaker 2: have had for about ten years. I place enormous importance
Speaker 2: on being happy. Happy people make the world better, not
Speaker 2: on having pleasure. Pleasure is not the same as happiness,
Speaker 2: but that's another subject. Now I'm talking here about being good.
Speaker 2: That's the number one thing we have to be in
Speaker 2: life is to be good. And this hour I argue
Speaker 2: that in raising children, goodness, being a good person, treating
Speaker 2: others decently, not being a bully, not picking on, being honest,
Speaker 2: not cheating on tests, being a good and decent purpose
Speaker 2: a person are not the priorities in raising children. Other
Speaker 2: things are feeling good about oneself in the self esteem movement,
Speaker 2: and doing well in school. Those are things that animate
Speaker 2: much of the upbringing of our children. Has another question
Speaker 2: to ask your child, but this time it's if actually
Speaker 2: you could ask your child has to be in high
Speaker 2: school for this high school or older? Do you think
Speaker 2: I would be more upset if you cheated on a
Speaker 2: test and got into a prestigious university thanks to that,
Speaker 2: or didn't cheat and never got accepted to a good
Speaker 2: to what I consider to be a good college. Which
Speaker 2: do you think would upset me your father or upset
Speaker 2: me your mother more? If you cheated but you got
Speaker 2: into a great university, or you never cheated and didn't
Speaker 2: go to a great university, which would upset me more?
Speaker 2: The cheating or the not getting into a great college. Now,
Speaker 2: this started this issue which I have raised at different
Speaker 2: times in different ways and coalescing now into this ultimate Issues.
Speaker 2: Hour began with a question that I will post to you.
Speaker 2: To those of you raising, let us say, a teenager,
Speaker 2: not let us say, for those of you raising a teenager,
Speaker 2: would you rather your child cheated on tests or smoked cigarettes? Okay,
Speaker 2: that's my question for you. One eight prager seven seven
Speaker 2: six one eight p r A g e Er seven
Speaker 2: seven six. Now I always get not always, I often
Speaker 2: get the answer, Well, that's apples, and that's apples and oranges. Yes,
Speaker 2: I admit it's apples and oranges. That is correct. So
Speaker 2: I'm asking you which do you prefer, apples or oranges?
Speaker 2: I fully acknowledge its apples and oranges. I'm not asking
Speaker 2: would you prefer your child cheat on tests or not
Speaker 2: cheat on tests? I know your answer, except in the
Speaker 2: case of the getting into a great college issue. But
Speaker 2: I'm asking here what what would you rather or which
Speaker 2: would upset you more? If your child cheated on tests
Speaker 2: or smoked? Then I'm talking marijuana, smoke, tobacco one eight
Speaker 2: prager seven seven six one eight p R A g
Speaker 2: E R seven seven six. People get very uncomfortable. I
Speaker 2: have tried this, and people get very I get hate mail.
Speaker 2: I've gotten hate mail on this this I wrote about
Speaker 2: it a long time ago. People are get get very
Speaker 2: annoyed with me with this question. I don't find the
Speaker 2: question annoying in the least to me. There's no question
Speaker 2: I rather my teenager smoked than and didn't cheat, than
Speaker 2: cheat and didn't smoke. There's no question the smoking may
Speaker 2: or may not stop. Uh and uh and uh. Even
Speaker 2: if not, then there is a possibility that much later
Speaker 2: on in life he or she will suffer health health
Speaker 2: problems as a result, but certainly not now. I'll but
Speaker 2: if I don't register my my powerful, powerful disapproval of
Speaker 2: the of the cheating, then then the character is being
Speaker 2: that is being formed is the most troubling thing to me.
Speaker 2: So I'm very clear about it. Many, many wonderful, decent
Speaker 2: people have smoked, but if a non smoker cheats, that's
Speaker 2: that's bad news, very bad news. So my children, I'm
Speaker 2: not saying that I that I am a perfect parent.
Speaker 2: I'm far, far, far from it. I've learned a lot
Speaker 2: in parenthood through mistakes that I've made, but it's been
Speaker 2: no question to my children what is most important to
Speaker 2: me their character? And you may have a different priority. Fine,
Speaker 2: I'm here for clarity, and a lot of parents are
Speaker 2: not are not fully clear about what messages they are
Speaker 2: sending to their child, and that's why you need to
Speaker 2: prioritize for yourself what is most important. For those of
Speaker 2: you who answer on this question, well, I don't want
Speaker 2: my child to smoke, and I don't want my child
Speaker 2: to cheat. That's fine. I didn't ask you whether you
Speaker 2: want your child to smoke. I asked you which would
Speaker 2: trouble you more? And if you say equally. Then that's
Speaker 2: a statement too, that health issues and character issues are
Speaker 2: identical to you. All right, So that and that too
Speaker 2: is a is an important aspect of the way in
Speaker 2: which we raise our children. That's why this is an
Speaker 2: ultimate issue, because the way we raise our children is
Speaker 2: the way the future of any society will be. And
Speaker 2: I strongly believe that for many children, character is not integrity, honesty, decency,
Speaker 2: goodness is not the priority one eight Frager seven seven six,
Speaker 2: And we go to Grand Prairie, California and Nancy, Hello, Nancy,
Speaker 2: Dennis Prager.
Speaker 8: Hi, Dennis Prager. I'm nice speaking with you. Actually, you
Speaker 8: know what, I totally agree with you. I would rather
Speaker 8: my child smoke than be dishonest. I've told him that
Speaker 8: his word is the only thing in the world that
Speaker 8: he owns. And when he gives his word and that's
Speaker 8: to be honest and truthful, then I mean he's he
Speaker 8: is controlling his life. When he lies, he's not, so,
Speaker 8: of course I don't want him to smoke either, Yes.
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly, absolutely all right, Well, congratulations to you. I
Speaker 2: have no doubt that that affects the way your child
Speaker 2: will will grow up in the type of person that
Speaker 2: the child will be as an adult. Paul and Woodland Hills, California.
Speaker 2: Dennis Prager.
Speaker 4: Hi, Dennis, it's Paul. I just wanted to let you
Speaker 4: know how much impacted my life with my own children
Speaker 4: about seven or eight years ago, and my daughter's going
Speaker 4: to school here in Los Angeles, in public school. The
Speaker 4: emphasis whenever I would go to whenever I would go
Speaker 4: to a dinner party or something, everybody would talk about
Speaker 4: for kids, and they all wanted me to tell me
Speaker 4: that their kid was accepted into this magnet program that's right, programs.
Speaker 4: And I sat back and I turned to this one
Speaker 4: man I remember, and I said, you know, I said,
Speaker 4: that's really great, how smart.
Speaker 2: Your kid is.
Speaker 4: But I'm really interested is you're a child, a good person.
Speaker 2: God bless you, And I guess God bless me if
Speaker 2: that's what I brought to you. We re turning a moment.
Speaker 2: I will repeat the questions you should ask your kids.
Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Praguer's Timeless Wisdom.
Speaker 2: Hi, everybody, Dennis Praguer here. This is the ultimate issues hour,
Speaker 2: and one ultimate issue was certainly, how do we raise
Speaker 2: our children, and I'm focusing in on the issue of
Speaker 2: emphasizing character goodness above everything else, above their being happy
Speaker 2: above and you know how important, how much importance I
Speaker 2: place on happiness above their being smart, above their being successful.
Speaker 2: And I will repeat the question that I suggest that
Speaker 2: you ask your child whether five or fifty, during the
Speaker 2: course of this hour, and or at least twice, at
Speaker 2: least once or twice. But I have asked the question.
Speaker 2: I have asked the question to give an example, if
Speaker 2: you have a teenager, would you rather your teenager cheat
Speaker 2: on tests or smoke as an example of you setting
Speaker 2: for your own self your priorities. And we go to
Speaker 2: Chicago and Greg Chicago, Greg, Dennis Prager. Heigh, Okay, well,
Speaker 2: thanks for calling good.
Speaker 6: I would definitely think that the cheating is worse than smoking.
Speaker 6: And it's funny. I'm reading a book right now about
Speaker 6: Ben Hogan. It's called American Here and think about Ben Hogan.
Speaker 6: He was, you know, very much a purist, very honest, hardworking,
Speaker 6: you know, very dedicated, but he smoked, and he smoked
Speaker 6: a lot. And it's just, you know, I think the
Speaker 6: character flaw is a much more important thing to deal
Speaker 6: with with your children. You know, smoking is something that
Speaker 6: you can address. Obviously you don't want him to do it,
Speaker 6: but you can address that. But if they have character flaws,
Speaker 6: that's just something that you really have to deal with
Speaker 6: right at the beginning.
Speaker 2: Yep, well said my friend. I appreciate that. Eric in
Speaker 2: Honolulu Dennis Prager.
Speaker 9: High, Hey, well, I just want to say that, you know,
Speaker 9: I recently pulled my two of my poor children out
Speaker 9: of public school so I could have a little more
Speaker 9: emphasis on their lives.
Speaker 2: And the upbringing. You mean you mean to homeschool, then
Speaker 2: homeschool them?
Speaker 10: Yes, yeah, Okay, go on and learning about homeschooling and
Speaker 10: about the importance of homeschooling. One of the biggest features
Speaker 10: of that is being able to instill not just religion,
Speaker 10: but character building that they can't do in public schools.
Speaker 10: And as far as your question earlier about the cheating
Speaker 10: or smoking, I would have to say emphatically that cheating
Speaker 10: would be the larger of two flaws, because if you
Speaker 10: build the character of a child of a person, then
Speaker 10: their self esteem and their self awareness is going to
Speaker 10: go along with that. And the smoking issue, if it
Speaker 10: were an issue, would dissolve sooner or later.
Speaker 2: Anyway, So how do you deal with the cognitive dissonance
Speaker 2: of knowing? I assume you feel that I have at
Speaker 2: least an acceptable level of integrity talking about me, Dennis. Okay,
Speaker 2: but I smoke a cigar every day?
Speaker 11: Okay.
Speaker 2: Do you feel it's a character flaw and I'm not
Speaker 2: being insulted, don't worry about it. I want to understand
Speaker 2: how it sounds to me as if you said that
Speaker 2: character there is number one, and character will then take
Speaker 2: care of the smoking issue, because if you're a good character,
Speaker 2: you won't smoke.
Speaker 10: Well in as much as a self awareness of health
Speaker 10: and what you consider is good for your body. Everyone
Speaker 10: has their release, Everyone has their their way of dealing
Speaker 10: with stress. Some people smoke, some people drink, some people
Speaker 10: do different things, and within moderation, as long as it
Speaker 10: relieves the damage and danger of stress, then it is
Speaker 10: in the end helpful.
Speaker 2: Okay, well said, Okay, all right, I just wanted to
Speaker 2: make that clear, Eric, Thank you so much. All right, right,
Speaker 2: pre appreciate your call. Yeah, because that's simply I don't
Speaker 2: want people to be confused. There were health issues and
Speaker 2: there were character issues. They're not the same thing. And
Speaker 2: that's very important. For people to understand. In a in
Speaker 2: a film that Alan and I made with David Zucker
Speaker 2: On Goodness, we have a scene where we show two
Speaker 2: tables at a restaurant, and at one of the tables
Speaker 2: is a is an unbelievably uh let's see what a
Speaker 2: guy who's like a model or a woman who's like
Speaker 2: a model. I don't even remember, but I remember the
Speaker 2: other table was a very heavy guy. And the very
Speaker 2: heavy guy treated the waitress beautifully and and left a
Speaker 2: very nice tip, and the really good looking health fiend
Speaker 2: basically was it was a demanding, an arrogant person. There
Speaker 2: there is no connection really between health and character. It's
Speaker 2: very good to be healthy, and it's and and that's
Speaker 2: wonderful thing, but it's not a character issue. Are you
Speaker 2: more likely to be treated well by by a a fit, trim,
Speaker 2: fit person than than by a fat person? I had
Speaker 2: The idea is preposterous to me. I have no idea.
Speaker 2: Who would be kinder under any given or more honest
Speaker 2: on or any given circumstance. I have no idea. That's
Speaker 2: part of the reason I raised this on an Ultimate
Speaker 2: Issues Hour is for you to be clear. You can't
Speaker 2: raise your children with clarity. If you don't have clarity
Speaker 2: for you, This is not a criticism. It's true for
Speaker 2: all of us. If we're not clear about what we
Speaker 2: think is most important, how can we possibly convey to
Speaker 2: our children? All right? Steven Rosemond, Minnesota, Dennis Prager, High, Hi,
Speaker 2: how are you okay? Thank you?
Speaker 5: I guess I would like to assert that I would
Speaker 5: rather I mean, I am not a parent by any means,
Speaker 5: but I would rather have my child smoke rather than cheat.
Speaker 5: I guess I would have a hard time separating waiting
Speaker 5: with being a character flaw. I mean with with smoking.
Speaker 5: I feel like it's also a character flaw. That is
Speaker 5: something that.
Speaker 2: Wait, wait, wait, so which which would you rather your
Speaker 2: child do? Smoke or cheat?
Speaker 5: I would rather have them cheat.
Speaker 2: Because you said smoke.
Speaker 5: Well, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: I had a feeling that we were confused. Okay, okay,
Speaker 2: you rather have your child that's okay, You rather have
Speaker 2: your child cheat than smoke? Because go on.
Speaker 5: I would rather have them cheat because I feel like
Speaker 5: that's also a teaching moment and it's it's something that
Speaker 5: you can work on. Yes, I mean, I'm not condoning
Speaker 5: either of them. However, smoking, I feel like is also
Speaker 5: just something that's going to be a lifelong addiction. It's
Speaker 5: going to be something that they're stuck with. And I
Speaker 5: would have a hard time separating that as not a
Speaker 5: character flaw. I mean, they're turned most. I would say
Speaker 5: a lot of people turn to that, you know, when
Speaker 5: they're stressed out, and there's other more productive ways that
Speaker 5: I feel like you can get rid of stress. Yeah,
Speaker 5: but it's percising or being outside, you know, those sort
Speaker 5: of things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course that's true about about many things. But
Speaker 2: it's it's it's a health issue. It's why do you
Speaker 2: call it a character issue? Do you think that everybody
Speaker 2: who smokes? I mean, I'll use me again. You listen
Speaker 2: to my show. You must have some respect for me.
Speaker 5: Yep, yep.
Speaker 2: Well, so when you when I publicly acknowledge that I
Speaker 2: smoke a cigar and a pipe, does that do you
Speaker 2: feel that well? That's look, it's you know, I wish
Speaker 2: Dennis didn't because the ultimate health benefit of not is great.
Speaker 2: But still in all it doesn't it doesn't impact my
Speaker 2: understanding of his character. Or do you truly feel that
Speaker 2: that's a character flaw?
Speaker 5: Well, I guess it's a I feel as though it's
Speaker 5: not respecting yourself as much as one would. And I
Speaker 5: guess the same could be said for cheating at the
Speaker 5: same time.
Speaker 2: No, but cheating is not a matter of respecting oneself.
Speaker 2: Cheating is a matter of hurting everybody else. It's an
Speaker 2: ethical character issue.
Speaker 5: Well, I guess I'm just gonna have to disagree with that.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's fine, And I'm a character and you know
Speaker 2: I appreciate disagreement, and you know I only aim for
Speaker 2: clarity rather than agreement anyway. But all right, there is
Speaker 2: a man who is twenty three now, and he's not
Speaker 2: a father, as he points out, but when he's a father,
Speaker 2: he will emphasize health. In my view, health over character.
Speaker 2: All right, he has his priorities. That is the question
Speaker 2: that I am posing to you on this I Ultimate
Speaker 2: Issues Hour. For me, character trumps every other aspect of
Speaker 2: a child's growing up.
Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.
Speaker 2: Dennis Prager. Here this is the hour of the week
Speaker 2: I call the Ultimate Issues Hour. Every week at this
Speaker 2: time some great issue of life, And here is the
Speaker 2: priorities with which we raise our children and is character
Speaker 2: number one, goodness number one. That to me is clear,
Speaker 2: and that is what I am emphasizing here. And to
Speaker 2: give you an idea of some of the conflicts that
Speaker 2: arise in parents raising of their children. The question of well,
Speaker 2: is health more important? Is getting into a good school
Speaker 2: more important? How? How much would you be troubled by
Speaker 2: your child's cheating on tests if it got them into
Speaker 2: a great college? And and my question of the hour
Speaker 2: would you rather your teenager smoked or cheated? And there
Speaker 2: is one recurring theme here. Well, I guess I should
Speaker 2: allow you folks to do the recurring theme. But let
Speaker 2: me get as more as many of your calls as possible.
Speaker 2: If you've gotten police, stay on. There are very important
Speaker 2: calls up there. Jesse and Akron Ohio. Hi Jesse, Dennis Prager,
Speaker 2: how old are you?
Speaker 12: I'm eleven?
Speaker 2: Okay, thank you for calling.
Speaker 1: So.
Speaker 12: My dad thinks that it's more in it would be
Speaker 12: worse if they cheated on a test, because well, it
Speaker 12: would affect other kids around us, and it would they
Speaker 12: would think that it would be all right to cheat.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. What do you think.
Speaker 12: Well, I think that's pretty much the same too.
Speaker 2: M h Well, that's wonderful. You have a good dad.
Speaker 12: Thanks. And well also my sisters, which one is seventeen
Speaker 12: and the other is fourteen or fifteen.
Speaker 2: They you're not sure of your other sister's age. You're
Speaker 2: not sure of your other sister's age. Well, that's okay.
Speaker 1: So they.
Speaker 12: My mom got them a thing for Christmas for smoking,
Speaker 12: and they actually started.
Speaker 11: To use it.
Speaker 2: And wait, wait wait, your mom got them what for smoking?
Speaker 12: I forgot what it's called.
Speaker 2: But it's just to stop smoking.
Speaker 12: It's an Arabic thing.
Speaker 2: Oh wa hookah?
Speaker 12: Yeah okay, yeah, so well they started it, but when
Speaker 12: we found out that, we just said stop right now,
Speaker 12: don't do it anymore. They took him away.
Speaker 2: Well, well, a hookah is not particularly dangerous, yeah, I know,
Speaker 2: but it's it's probably if it's a substitute for cigarettes,
Speaker 2: it's particularly good.
Speaker 12: Actually, yeah, but it's still legal until you're eighteen.
Speaker 2: Ah, that part of it. Oops, it's okay, it's all right.
Speaker 2: Well I can't advocate breaking the lawn radio, but yeah,
Speaker 2: tell your mom I wouldn't report her.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, okay, thank you, thank you, Jesse. I didn't
Speaker 3: even know what was wrong about well so so so
Speaker 3: be it. Okay, this is really very important stuff. Lance
Speaker 3: in San Diego, California high Lands Dennis Prager.
Speaker 13: No, not the child, but the kid, the gentleman. Right
Speaker 13: before that, I used to feel exactly like him with
Speaker 13: the you know, thinking that cheating was was not as bad.
Speaker 13: That is smoking, right, you know.
Speaker 2: Oh, the one who's twenty to twenty three year old. Yeah?
Speaker 2: And then what happened? When did you change? You know?
Speaker 13: I don't, I don't know. I just I kind of
Speaker 13: knew you were right, but I didn't feel that way.
Speaker 13: But what did it for me was I thought, who
Speaker 13: would I rather marry or date? You know, a smoker
Speaker 13: or a liar?
Speaker 2: There you go, that's it. That's a great way of
Speaker 2: posing it.
Speaker 13: When you think about your children.
Speaker 2: That's right. Who would you rather or who? Forgetting even marriage?
Speaker 2: Who would you rather hire?
Speaker 13: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Somebody who you knew to, who you knew is cheating
Speaker 2: in school. You're hiring a college student. You want one
Speaker 2: who's cheating in school, or one you know who doesn't cheat,
Speaker 2: but who smokes? It would it would?
Speaker 13: The problem I had was with I think already has
Speaker 13: some of your children. Your immediate impulse is to protect
Speaker 13: them from all danger naturally and so you you you
Speaker 13: get hung up on the way, don't one I'm smoking
Speaker 13: and because it'll don't die answer. But when you break
Speaker 13: it down and think, like, well, you know, who would
Speaker 13: I rather marry? And then do I want to raise
Speaker 13: my children that somebody actually wants to marry them and raise.
Speaker 2: Anyway, smoking doesn't kill any children. It kills it kills
Speaker 2: adults in later life, right, So so you know, no, No,
Speaker 2: that's important to remember. It's not like if somebody said, well,
Speaker 2: would you rather your child slit his wrists or cheat
Speaker 2: on the desk? I mean, you know, obviously I want
Speaker 2: a living child I could work on. So so that's
Speaker 2: important to remember in this question. But well done, Lands,
Speaker 2: it's exactly right. Who would you rap? Whom would you
Speaker 2: rather hire? All? Right, you are, you're running a business
Speaker 2: and trust is essential. Person handles your money. You know
Speaker 2: somebody cheats or you know somebody smokes. It is inconceivable
Speaker 2: to me that anybody listening would have would debate that question.
Speaker 2: One eighth Prager seven to seven the Ultimate Issues Hour
Speaker 2: on the Dennis Prager Show. Dennis Prager here, this is
Speaker 2: the Ultimate Issues Hour, and the ultimate issue today is
Speaker 2: raising children and specifically placing character and goodness as the
Speaker 2: number one priority in the raising of a child. And
Speaker 2: that's why I've posed a question which I know is
Speaker 2: annoying to many, and I do know that, and I
Speaker 2: don't mean to annoy you, though I do mean to
Speaker 2: provoke you in this regard to think this through. And
Speaker 2: would you rather your teenager smoke or cheat? And that
Speaker 2: is a good question because the question is becomes ultimate
Speaker 2: ultimate priority, health versus character. And now again, if it's
Speaker 2: what I prefer that my child swallowed draino or or cheated, Yes, cheated,
Speaker 2: of course I would answer that because there's a permanent
Speaker 2: death is permanent if you burn out the esophagus and
Speaker 2: burn out the stomach with dreno. Of course, I mean,
Speaker 2: I'm not nuts, But that's not the case with smoking
Speaker 2: or some other habits like that. So this is a
Speaker 2: question to help you establish your priorities. Now, I promised
Speaker 2: you I would repeat a question that I would like
Speaker 2: you to ask your child, whether your child is five
Speaker 2: or fifty. That question is what do you think I,
Speaker 2: your mother or I your father, would rather you be
Speaker 2: or most want you to be? Again, what do you
Speaker 2: think I most want you to be? Not what do
Speaker 2: you most want to be and they are happy, smart, successful, good.
Speaker 2: It's a very good way to see what you have
Speaker 2: presented to your child. Baltimore, Marylyn Ron, Hello Ron, Dennis Prager.
Speaker 11: Thank you very much. Okay, I guess for me the
Speaker 11: issue is ideally, of course, you want the character to
Speaker 11: be optimized. But in this case, especially with a teenage kid,
Speaker 11: I guess what would upset me most, because that's the
Speaker 11: question that would upset me most is which problem would
Speaker 11: be harder to fix? Now if the kid that depends
Speaker 11: on the kid, If the kid were the kind of
Speaker 11: kid who I thought I could fix the problem of
Speaker 11: cheating a lot easier than I could fix the problem
Speaker 11: of smoking, I think the smoking would upset me more.
Speaker 11: But it's still kind of a close call, because I
Speaker 11: think smoking is a character problem. People who smoke are
Speaker 11: not you know, are being inconsiderate of others if they
Speaker 11: smoke in the presence of others, even if they don't
Speaker 11: smoke in the presence of others, they're putting a burden
Speaker 11: on the health insurance and the health care system by
Speaker 11: risking their own health and creating a burden for the
Speaker 11: health system. So it's a problem. Well, around.
Speaker 2: Yeah. The problem with that there are many I don't
Speaker 2: consider it a character flaw. So that's one place that
Speaker 2: we differ. But I'll give you first of all, do
Speaker 2: you believe that people who eat dessert every day have
Speaker 2: a character flaw or have a big Mac every day?
Speaker 2: Is that a character flaw? Would you rather your teenager
Speaker 2: have a big mac every day or cheap? Well, since obesity, obesity,
Speaker 2: they say kills as many I'm sorry, we're told that
Speaker 2: obesity kills as many people as cigarettes.
Speaker 11: Well, if you were to eat that much to the
Speaker 11: point of becoming obese, then yeah, just as bad as smoking.
Speaker 2: Well, well, you don't become obese immediately and you don't
Speaker 2: die from smoking until much later in life, so you
Speaker 2: can't say immediately.
Speaker 11: Well, okay, so.
Speaker 2: I'm asking big mac every day or cheat?
Speaker 11: Well, like I say, depends on which one I think
Speaker 11: I could six.
Speaker 2: Okay, so let me tell you on that, all right,
Speaker 2: So let me tell you on even occasional cheater. Let
Speaker 2: me tell you something. It is unbelievably hard to change
Speaker 2: character rate. Unbelievably hard.
Speaker 11: I understand, I understand.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, listen, thank you, I appreciate it's a
Speaker 2: thoughtful call. Talk about thoughtful calls. Here's a Janine. Janine
Speaker 2: in Loma Linda. I know you, Janine, and I know
Speaker 2: you're a very very serious thinker. So go ahead.
Speaker 14: Ah, that's a really nice compliment coming.
Speaker 2: Well, you know I believe that. Go ahead.
Speaker 14: Well, first off, I want to say I would rather
Speaker 14: my teenager smoke than cheat, no question. But I am
Speaker 14: a member of a church that believes our body is
Speaker 14: a temple of God. It's the Seventh Adventist Church, which
Speaker 14: places some emphasis on health, not the greatest emphasis, certainly.
Speaker 14: And I would like to know if you think someone
Speaker 14: littering in a synagogue or someone coming in and chipping
Speaker 14: away at the foundation of your synagogue every week would
Speaker 14: be a character issue, because I find this.
Speaker 7: In the right.
Speaker 2: But here is a rare example of where I think
Speaker 2: that you changed the criteria. Okay, it is there is
Speaker 2: a huge difference between my body is my temple and
Speaker 2: my temple is everybody's temple.
Speaker 14: Right, But what if that person what if nobody noticed
Speaker 14: the what if nobody noticed the littering and it was
Speaker 14: in a place that uh.
Speaker 2: Well no, but it's still it is still affecting others. Uh.
Speaker 2: In a in a detrimental way. If you can you.
Speaker 14: Imagine a situation where it might not be No, no,
Speaker 14: of course not.
Speaker 2: And if it weren't, it's if it's like going through
Speaker 2: a red light at three am on a rural road,
Speaker 2: then I don't have a particular problem with it.
Speaker 14: Okay, Well I guess that. Okay, then I think you're consistent.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's one thing I tend to be, maybe wrong.
Speaker 14: But consistently for the Seventh day Adventist Church. Since our
Speaker 14: bodies are the temple of God, it is it is
Speaker 14: a desecration.
Speaker 2: To pollutic that that may well be, But I can't
Speaker 2: believe that a that a an official in your church
Speaker 2: would say. Folks, if if you have a big mac
Speaker 2: every day, we consider that the same as if you
Speaker 2: commit adultery.
Speaker 14: But but you didn't that you're changing the criteria.
Speaker 2: Now, no, I'm not a No, you didn't say the.
Speaker 14: Same you said. Is it a character issue at all?
Speaker 14: And I think it's a little.
Speaker 2: Character okay, all right, final, Well, all right, because you
Speaker 2: believe that the body is a temple, yeah, okay, all right,
Speaker 2: the body, Yeah, the body may be a temple, but
Speaker 2: that could be taken to very extreme ways. I mean,
Speaker 2: if a person doesn't work out every day, they're desecrating
Speaker 2: their body.
Speaker 14: Well, so we take it as a whole if you
Speaker 14: treat your body healthfully overall, all.
Speaker 2: Right, But even that, even that genine becomes very complex.
Speaker 2: I'll give you an example, and I thank you as
Speaker 2: always for your call and for your emails and there
Speaker 2: all your work. The uh. We are told, and I
Speaker 2: believe this, that people who have friends live considerably longer
Speaker 2: than people who who just have acquaintances or or don't
Speaker 2: have don't have friends or people they're friendly with. We
Speaker 2: are told that people who go to church every week
Speaker 2: are healthier. Would that be included? I mean it becomes
Speaker 2: health then becomes almost a catch all for all issues
Speaker 2: in life. So if I were child, you know, would
Speaker 2: you rather your child the smoke than had friends or
Speaker 2: had no friends and smoke? All right? Final final segment.
Speaker 2: One aide Praguer seven to seven six priorities and in
Speaker 2: the raising of children, and the one I advocate is
Speaker 2: goodness and character overall. We return in a moment.
Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.
Speaker 2: I am my friends. Dennis Prager here, last segment, final
Speaker 2: segment of this hour, this Ultimate Issues hour, and you
Speaker 2: can go to Prager radio dot com and download it
Speaker 2: because you I think you would love to play it
Speaker 2: for your kids, or play it for friends, or give
Speaker 2: it to somebody if whether you agree with me or not,
Speaker 2: it is a wonderful subject, the clarity of priorities in
Speaker 2: raising our children and for me. Character Trump's all Trump says,
Speaker 2: Trump's getting into a good college, Trump's being popular, Trump's
Speaker 2: being happy, even goodness, Trump's happiness. And you know how
Speaker 2: much emphasis I place on happiness, And certainly Trump's something
Speaker 2: like an unhealthful habit like smoking. So that's why I
Speaker 2: pose this question, would you rather your teenager smoke or cheat?
Speaker 2: Try to get as many as I can here and
Speaker 2: temeke Youla, California and Jim, Hello, Jim, Dennis Prager.
Speaker 7: Dennis is very good to talk to you.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 7: Once I heard your questions, I actually called my fifteen
Speaker 7: year old daughter, which oh, by the way, is my stepdaughter.
Speaker 7: I've been with her about five years, fifteen years old.
Speaker 7: I asked her the question of what would you rather
Speaker 7: be happy or what would what would you expect I
Speaker 7: would want you to be happy, more successful and good.
Speaker 7: She immediately said good. She brought a tear to my
Speaker 7: eye because I felt right then and.
Speaker 2: There, Wow, you are you are and I am happy.
Speaker 2: You brought a smile to my face. That's exactly right, Okay,
Speaker 2: and we go to Oak River, Illinois. Kim, Hello, Kim.
Speaker 2: Dennis Praeger, Hi, Hi, Kim.
Speaker 15: You know, I think it's a difficult thing because we
Speaker 15: have we teach character to our children. It's one of
Speaker 15: the most important things in our family. Also, But I
Speaker 15: think that when you talk about cheating or smoking with
Speaker 15: a child, I think they're both character issues because if
Speaker 15: a child smokes, that is deemed disobedient to authority, and
Speaker 15: that's a character issue for me.
Speaker 2: But as all disobedience is every act of disobedience to
Speaker 2: authority the same when I jwalk, I disobey authority, and
Speaker 2: if I murder, I disobey authority. Yes, so disobedience to authority.
Speaker 2: It doesn't make all of all disobedient acts morally equivalent.
Speaker 15: You're right, Although if my child smoked, I would be
Speaker 15: completely shot and lose complete trust in my child. And
Speaker 15: they know how what a serious thing that is. I
Speaker 15: do understand what you're.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but don't make it. Don't make it that serious.
Speaker 2: Then say it's unhealthy. It shouldn't be up there with cheating.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm trying to say to all of you.
Speaker 2: We need to make priorities. I don't want my child
Speaker 2: to smoke cigarettes either, of course, but so you explain
Speaker 2: it's dangerous that one out of every three cigarette smokers
Speaker 2: will die prematurely. You tell them the facts about it,
Speaker 2: but you help them understand that that's hardly the same
Speaker 2: as stealing answers for an exam. That's your duty as
Speaker 2: a parent to make these things clear. This has been
Speaker 2: the Ultimate Issues hour on the Dennis Prager Show.
Speaker 1: Tomorrow on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis.
Speaker 2: Pragger, I'm going to address a very difficult issue for
Speaker 2: many couples. So I am going to try as a guy,
Speaker 2: and the men know how often I try to explain
Speaker 2: our sex to women and defend us guys as well often.
Speaker 2: But I'm going to try to make an argument or
Speaker 2: a series of arguments to married men why you should
Speaker 2: stay faithful. And again, they're not religious based and they're
Speaker 2: not morality based.
Speaker 1: Join us tomorrow to hear more on Timeless Wisdom with
Speaker 1: Dennis Pragger. This has been Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.
Speaker 1: Visit Dennispragger dot com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures,
Speaker 1: courses in classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's
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