1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:03,440 Speaker 1: Access more. 2 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,680 Speaker 2: Welcome to the Happy Home. I'm our Lean Pellicane. 3 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:12,240 Speaker 1: Is it possible to delay social media for your teen 4 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:16,280 Speaker 1: even your teen girl? My daughter Lucy and I are 5 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:19,960 Speaker 1: talking to another mom daughter duo about this. Today's guest 6 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:23,400 Speaker 1: comedian Carrie Palmeeroli and her daughter. 7 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:27,400 Speaker 2: Lucy, strengthening you and your family. 8 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:33,080 Speaker 3: Welcome to the Happy Home Podcast with your host, our 9 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 3: Lean Pelicane. 10 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:37,520 Speaker 2: Well, today we're going to be talking about social media. 11 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 1: And if you're wondering how do I delay this? Why 12 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:44,520 Speaker 1: should I delay it? Take a look at my book 13 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:47,680 Speaker 1: screen Kids, or you can if you like videos instead 14 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 1: of reading, you can look at my screen Kids Masterclass 15 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: and all of that is at Happy Home University dot com. 16 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,960 Speaker 1: And I'm so excited to have my friend carry Palmrooli. 17 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,039 Speaker 1: She is a stand up comedian who I have seen 18 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 1: live many times and she is always funny. She has 19 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,160 Speaker 1: been on The Tonight Show, not once, not twice, but 20 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 1: twenty nine times. She has her book came out with 21 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 1: that movie remember that movie way back when Mom's Night Out. 22 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:17,960 Speaker 2: That was a big hit. 23 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 1: She if you watch the Hallmark Channel, she has sold 24 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:24,760 Speaker 1: her second film script to the Hallmark Channel. We just 25 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,959 Speaker 1: woke together at the Gull Lakes Women's Conference, so I 26 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,560 Speaker 1: was super excited that she could come. She is here 27 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:35,200 Speaker 1: with her daughter Lucy. Welcome to the podcast, my friends. 28 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:38,120 Speaker 1: I wanted to title this. I've also invited my daughter Lucy, 29 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 1: who usually edits my podcast. She's been doing that for 30 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 1: the last year. Lucy Pellicane give a shout out, say. 31 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:47,039 Speaker 2: Hi, hey, Like my mom made me do this. 32 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 1: So I wanted to title this initially like two moms 33 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 1: too Lucy's and no social media. 34 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:55,280 Speaker 2: But in this day and age, I didn't want to 35 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,560 Speaker 2: confuse people like why are there two moms? So I 36 00:01:58,760 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 2: not to do that. 37 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 1: But carry you told me something when we saw each 38 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 1: other that kind of like super surprised me. You said 39 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,119 Speaker 1: that you heard me a long time ago at Aspire 40 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:10,840 Speaker 1: talk about social media. 41 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 3: Take us back there. 42 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: What happened. 43 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:15,960 Speaker 4: I mean, it had to be like ten years ago, 44 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:19,839 Speaker 4: really long time ago, and you said that you weren't 45 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,280 Speaker 4: going to give your kids social media. And I didn't 46 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:25,040 Speaker 4: know that was an option or not an option. And 47 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:28,639 Speaker 4: I thought about it. I read some of your articles 48 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,960 Speaker 4: and things through the years, and I just never left 49 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,760 Speaker 4: me and I just was like, you know what, I'm 50 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 4: the mom I don't have to let them do that 51 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,960 Speaker 4: knowing how bad it was in my opinion for you, 52 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:43,960 Speaker 4: I'm not complaining about social media. I make a living 53 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:47,440 Speaker 4: probably because of social media. But I show them a documentary. 54 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 4: Do you remember what the documentary was called? It was like, oh, 55 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,080 Speaker 4: it was like it was on Netflix. 56 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:56,119 Speaker 3: It was about like TikTok in one of its beginning stages, 57 00:02:56,400 --> 00:03:00,680 Speaker 3: and how there were trends causing like so your body 58 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 3: dysmorphia within young teenagers. 59 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,760 Speaker 4: And we watched it and you were like ten. And 60 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 4: I've always been that kind of parent that's like, can 61 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 4: I talk them into this and make them think it's 62 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 4: your idea? 63 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,360 Speaker 3: So when Lucy wanted to go. 64 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:14,800 Speaker 4: To an American doll party with all these girls that 65 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,079 Speaker 4: had American dolls that were one hundred dollars, I took 66 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,679 Speaker 4: her to Target, remember, and I was like, this doll 67 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 4: is twenty nine ninety nine. 68 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,920 Speaker 3: Are you going to be stupid enough to pay one 69 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 3: hundred dollars like those losers? 70 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,640 Speaker 4: So she took your little I don't even think you 71 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 4: took a twenty nine ninety nine dollars. 72 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:31,919 Speaker 3: It wasn't it was like a rag doll, like a 73 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:35,680 Speaker 3: rag doll and She was like, y'all are stupid, and 74 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 3: so I have a seventeen year old, a living, breathing, 75 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,640 Speaker 3: seventeen year old who's never used social media unless you've 76 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 3: been lying to me all these years, but I don't 77 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:47,480 Speaker 3: think so, and tell them what your line is, what 78 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 3: you like to say, why you don't use social media? 79 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 3: What do you tell me? I like the God conflict. Yeah, 80 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:54,640 Speaker 3: she feels superior. I love this. 81 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 1: It'd be like, wait, so I'll be your friend. Like what, Lucy, 82 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:00,119 Speaker 1: you don't have social media? 83 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:00,640 Speaker 5: I don't know. 84 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 3: I end up saying something about like, oh well, I 85 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 3: don't like it because it ends up making me feel 86 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 3: insecure about myself or I don't need other people's opinions. 87 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 3: If someone has something nice to say, they can say 88 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:14,000 Speaker 3: it to my face. Emma has nice something negative to say, 89 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 3: they can say it to my face. 90 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:19,000 Speaker 4: So she dealt with that enough with her mother having 91 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,360 Speaker 4: weird YouTubers make weird cuss. 92 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, how is that, Lucy? 93 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:26,400 Speaker 1: Like you watching your mom be online right and like 94 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:29,360 Speaker 1: kind of strangers like talking into her life? How has 95 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 1: that helped you kind of understand this better? 96 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:36,640 Speaker 3: Kind of It's more like seeing my mom have such 97 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:41,080 Speaker 3: a large online presence, Me and even my sister are 98 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:44,560 Speaker 3: often like not roped into that, but we're also on 99 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 3: her online presence she posts about us. So I almost 100 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 3: feel that my mom posts about me and my sisters 101 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 3: so much that social media on my own doesn't really 102 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 3: interest me because I already have a larger digital footprint 103 00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:59,280 Speaker 3: than I think I would have wanted. 104 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:04,200 Speaker 4: She delete a lot of her videos because her friends 105 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:07,479 Speaker 4: were finding her, uh and they were like, you were 106 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 4: in People magazine when you were a baby and you 107 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:15,040 Speaker 4: were singing in the Lion King, And like She's like, Mom, 108 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,240 Speaker 4: I don't want people seeing me singing in the Lion 109 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:21,520 Speaker 4: King like her friends would google her. And so I've 110 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 4: made ninety nine point ninet nine as much as I 111 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 4: can bribe it. 112 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, but I still post her cute pictures, which is 113 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:30,480 Speaker 3: totally fine, and it's it's not like you would post 114 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:34,599 Speaker 3: something super super personal without my potion. Ninety nine percent 115 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,400 Speaker 3: of the time, my mom's like, hey, I just took 116 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,280 Speaker 3: this video of us, or I just took this picture. 117 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,000 Speaker 3: Are you now posted. 118 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 4: We do have one exception, her grandma, Yeah girl, Her 119 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:49,160 Speaker 4: grandma breaks all the rules from grandma post about her 120 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:52,120 Speaker 4: day and night, but her Grandmaly has like nineteen people 121 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 4: that watch her Facebook. 122 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,239 Speaker 3: But there's no rules with Grandma. 123 00:05:56,320 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 4: You can't tell Grandma not to post Lucy's birth video. 124 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,000 Speaker 4: I mean, like, whatever it is, Lucy woke up today 125 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,960 Speaker 4: and my mother is sharing it with her huge world 126 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 4: of like nineteen. 127 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 2: Seeing my goodness, that's so funny. 128 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:12,719 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's that's the only caveat. 129 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:13,640 Speaker 2: Of our watch out for Grandma. 130 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,479 Speaker 3: I think there was a distinct time where I like 131 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,839 Speaker 3: to play guitar and my grandma likes to film videos 132 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:20,919 Speaker 3: with me playing guitar and then send them off to 133 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,159 Speaker 3: her friends. But this one particular time, I was just 134 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:27,440 Speaker 3: kind of playing around and I was hoping, oh, when 135 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 3: she films it, she's just going to keep it for keepsakes. 136 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,520 Speaker 3: But I just remember her like filming the video and 137 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,840 Speaker 3: then stopping it just to say, hmmm, could you put 138 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,919 Speaker 3: some pants on? Because I don't want my church friends 139 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,279 Speaker 3: to see that you don't have pants on. 140 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:49,040 Speaker 1: I was like yourch friends, like, oh, Grandma, for. 141 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:55,080 Speaker 4: Do let them watch YouTube videos supervised? But nothing were 142 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,920 Speaker 4: the opinion of others, right, Lucy, Like, yeah, I don't 143 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:02,800 Speaker 4: want our daughters being told good or bad how they 144 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:08,839 Speaker 4: look or appeal to anyone except to get it when 145 00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:11,120 Speaker 4: she's eighteen. I'm not even one of those fays like, oh, 146 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:14,200 Speaker 4: you can have when you're eighteen. I hope that she 147 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 4: feels superior enough never to drink that kool aid, but 148 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:19,800 Speaker 4: she doesn't need to in her line of work. 149 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:22,160 Speaker 2: So let me go backwards. 150 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 1: So if you, Lucy, could go back and your mother 151 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 1: could just never have this idea in her mind, And 152 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,360 Speaker 1: if she would have given you social media when you 153 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,680 Speaker 1: were thirteen, what do you think your life would have 154 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:35,080 Speaker 1: been like? 155 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 3: I think I already struggle with insecurity as it is 156 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,240 Speaker 3: from just social experiences. If I were to be on 157 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:47,600 Speaker 3: social media, I feel like the adrenaline dopamine rush that 158 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:51,000 Speaker 3: I would have gotten from other people's opinions would have 159 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 3: made me in a state of much deeper insecurity, depression, anxiety. 160 00:07:56,280 --> 00:08:00,800 Speaker 3: I just can't imagine myself being as positive or as 161 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 3: happy as I am now if I was experiencing that 162 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 3: on the daily. And I know that seems kind of dramatic, 163 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 3: especially because pretty much every single person I know personally 164 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:15,240 Speaker 3: is on social media. But you just see things, and 165 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 3: when you see them from like an outside perspective, I 166 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,040 Speaker 3: just I'm really glad that I'm not there, because I 167 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:24,520 Speaker 3: would be a completely different person. I want to ask 168 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:25,360 Speaker 3: Lucy a question. 169 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 4: You're fifteen, when you're nineteen, do you plan on getting 170 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 4: social media? 171 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:37,319 Speaker 5: Probably not. I've kind of had the same experience as you, Lucy. 172 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,920 Speaker 5: But even if I did get it, I wouldn't have 173 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,319 Speaker 5: it on my phone because I know that would be 174 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:46,360 Speaker 5: like such a huge temptation for me. So I would 175 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 5: get it like only on my laptop or something like that. 176 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,000 Speaker 5: I wouldn't want to carry it around. 177 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 4: And I don't know about you, like Arlene, but I 178 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:57,079 Speaker 4: still drink the koolid of it. Like I post something 179 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 4: about my kids and then I want to show them 180 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 4: the comments. 181 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,320 Speaker 2: Right, they don't care. 182 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 3: Yes, I don't understand. 183 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 4: How they don't care, but they haven't been drinking the 184 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:08,320 Speaker 4: kool aid since I have two thousand and eight. 185 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'm like, like, look like a hundred people. 186 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 4: But it's funny when you have a teenager who struggles 187 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,920 Speaker 4: with insecurity and might feel like I'm not good at this. 188 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, no, you are. I have only hundreds 189 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 3: of people that know you're a really good singer. It 190 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:27,040 Speaker 3: doesn't affect your positive or negative Yeah, And it is 191 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,280 Speaker 3: don't even use it for good, you know what I mean? 192 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,439 Speaker 1: And I think there's really a big distinction, Like, you know, 193 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,840 Speaker 1: these things were started. Let's say, let's just pretend with 194 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:38,560 Speaker 1: really good intentions of hey, let's help people who know 195 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,720 Speaker 1: each other in real life stay in touch. 196 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 2: But that is. 197 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:45,200 Speaker 1: Obviously morphed into no, no, no, this is a huge 198 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:48,000 Speaker 1: business model to try to keep as many eyeballs as 199 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,560 Speaker 1: possible on. 200 00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:52,959 Speaker 2: Screens, you know, and it's totally different. My Lucy. I 201 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,200 Speaker 2: want to ask you, so you've. 202 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 1: Kind of known all along, Okay, I'm not going to 203 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,640 Speaker 1: get social media. How did what kind of like flack 204 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:02,000 Speaker 1: did you you get from like in junior high or 205 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:05,080 Speaker 1: high school? Like, how do you respond when people are like, wait, 206 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,400 Speaker 1: what you don't have social media? Like because I think 207 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,440 Speaker 1: a lot of parents are just scared that their kids 208 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,959 Speaker 1: will feel left out. Talk to that parent. 209 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:16,559 Speaker 5: Yeah, so like, yes, you get the whole like, oh 210 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 5: my goodness, you don't have like you don't have a phone, 211 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 5: you don't have social media. Like of course you get that, 212 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,800 Speaker 5: and at some point it does kind of get annoying, 213 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 5: like yours, I don't have social media, but like, if 214 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,200 Speaker 5: you're a parent, who's thinking like about getting your phone 215 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,880 Speaker 5: or getting your child a phone, or getting your child 216 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,600 Speaker 5: social media. They're not gonna make like so many more 217 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:41,120 Speaker 5: friends because of social media. Like all my friends I 218 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:44,000 Speaker 5: didn't meet them to social media. I can keep in 219 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:47,679 Speaker 5: touch with them without social media. And even so, like 220 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,880 Speaker 5: you feel more left out with social media than you 221 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,079 Speaker 5: do without it. 222 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:54,480 Speaker 4: And I also want to say for the parents listening 223 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,840 Speaker 4: that we just seem like extremist, like homeschool parents or something, 224 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:01,720 Speaker 4: because I homeschool both my kids. There's a happy medium 225 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:05,200 Speaker 4: in certain things, like I haven't done everything Lucy that 226 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:09,760 Speaker 4: your mom's done. Like my fourteen year old, I bought 227 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,680 Speaker 4: her a phone because a lot of her kids in 228 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 4: the private school were in a group chat and also 229 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:19,679 Speaker 4: she's fourteen. The phone never leaves my kitchen counter. It 230 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,400 Speaker 4: never leaves the kitchen counter, so she can't take it 231 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 4: up into her room. We don't leave the house with it. 232 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 4: So I am very, very evolved in anything that gets texted. 233 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,960 Speaker 4: But I've noticed that because she doesn't have it alone, 234 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:36,439 Speaker 4: she's not interested in it. But I go, I literally 235 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:38,160 Speaker 4: have to tell her, like, hey, do you want to 236 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,679 Speaker 4: text your friends and see if they want to have 237 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:42,040 Speaker 4: a play date or hang out, but the fact that 238 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,360 Speaker 4: we're not. So if you're listening, it's like I could 239 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:47,120 Speaker 4: never take away my kid's phone. Yeah maybe, but maybe 240 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:49,680 Speaker 4: you could put limits on it, Like there are ways 241 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:50,360 Speaker 4: to do it. 242 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:52,959 Speaker 3: I know you're listening right now and going, oh, it's 243 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:53,520 Speaker 3: too far gone. 244 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:56,120 Speaker 4: It's too far gone, but there are ways to do 245 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,679 Speaker 4: it in moderation or like Lucy asked me one time 246 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:03,080 Speaker 4: if she can have a Pinterest page, and that's not 247 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,680 Speaker 4: exactly social media, it's more like collecting crafts and she's 248 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,320 Speaker 4: seventeen and she's a great kid. I'm like, yeah, sure, 249 00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 4: So we're not trying to be like these militant moms. Yeah, 250 00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:15,520 Speaker 4: I think Arleen, what you say is a lot of wisdom. 251 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:19,480 Speaker 4: But you have the levels, right, You've got the gold Star, 252 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 4: the solt like, so if you're listening to us right now, 253 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,640 Speaker 4: don't let us freak you out, because I just feel 254 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:29,560 Speaker 4: like there's levels of what we can hear from the Lord. 255 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:31,600 Speaker 3: From different strokes for different folks. 256 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:35,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, different strokes for different folks, And even like what 257 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,520 Speaker 1: you said, it is a huge piece. And I hope 258 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:40,640 Speaker 1: everyone caught that Ruby doesn't have the phone with her 259 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 1: because that's its habit formation is really what we're after 260 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:48,640 Speaker 1: as parents, because the same habits they have when they're twelve, fifteen, eighteen, 261 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,560 Speaker 1: those are the habits you're going to take into your adulthood. 262 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,520 Speaker 1: And so we don't want the habit of it's on you. 263 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,800 Speaker 1: You know you have it, and you feel ownership. You 264 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:58,880 Speaker 1: can look at it anytime you want to, and you 265 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,240 Speaker 1: get into trouble when you're alone with it. 266 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,760 Speaker 4: Also when you're trying to use it, and like we'll 267 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:07,640 Speaker 4: go out to dinner, like the three of us, I'm 268 00:13:07,679 --> 00:13:08,000 Speaker 4: the worst. 269 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 3: I'll be like, what's that actor's name? 270 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:12,480 Speaker 4: Okay, hold on, it's Brad Pitt, like or like, do 271 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:13,839 Speaker 4: you guys want to go to Colorado? 272 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,440 Speaker 3: Hold on? Like Now, I'm not saying that's wrong or 273 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 3: good or bad, but like I'm the culprit. 274 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,000 Speaker 2: Is it true? 275 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:25,480 Speaker 1: Like you're you're Lucy or you're like Mom, come on, 276 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:26,040 Speaker 1: put it down. 277 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,800 Speaker 3: She wants to know the answer that she wants. Like 278 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,800 Speaker 3: that makes sense, and that is its own thing. But 279 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:35,480 Speaker 3: I totally agree with the habit forming thing because I 280 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,600 Speaker 3: just took a camping trip for three days in Lake 281 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:42,040 Speaker 3: Tahoe and my phone died and there was nowhere to 282 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 3: charge it. But I had it in my back pocket 283 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 3: because I had no place to put it. And I 284 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:50,560 Speaker 3: just remember, for like two days straight, I just kept 285 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:54,640 Speaker 3: checking my dead phone, and I'm like, it's dead. Why 286 00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:57,040 Speaker 3: do I keep pulling it out of my pocket? Or 287 00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,960 Speaker 3: I put it in the tent and I just instinctive 288 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,760 Speaker 3: would grab my back pocket and be like, where'd it go? 289 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,040 Speaker 4: I mean, you're going to be on a phone, You're 290 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:10,000 Speaker 4: still going to text people. There's habits with that that 291 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,640 Speaker 4: you want to control. But the social media for adolescents 292 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:15,000 Speaker 4: I think is absolutely wrong. I think it's wrong on 293 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,720 Speaker 4: every level. It's fight me, but I'm just saying like, 294 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,560 Speaker 4: and I don't think it's wrong. If you've made that 295 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,640 Speaker 4: decision as a family and you're like, hey, we're going 296 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,640 Speaker 4: to delay this till you're eighteen. After they're eighteen, you 297 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,920 Speaker 4: know we've done the best we can. What do I 298 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,080 Speaker 4: always say to you, It's my job to brainwash you 299 00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:31,800 Speaker 4: as much as I can. 300 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 3: And so you get out of my house exactly, and then. 301 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:37,080 Speaker 2: You realize that your mom was right about these things. 302 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:40,640 Speaker 1: Yes, I was just listening to Scrolling to Death this 303 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 1: podcast and she was talking to an ex exec of Snapchat, 304 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,680 Speaker 1: and the woman was saying, you know what, after seeing 305 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:51,200 Speaker 1: all I've seen, there is no reason for anyone under 306 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,440 Speaker 1: sixteen to be on our platform, you know. 307 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,760 Speaker 4: And so when you say, like Zuckerberg doesn't let his 308 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,000 Speaker 4: kids have phones, I. 309 00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:59,040 Speaker 2: Don't know about Zuckerberg. 310 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,360 Speaker 1: You know, Bill Gate let his until they were fourteen, 311 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:03,840 Speaker 1: until they were in high school. And that was a 312 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 1: long time ago. So the phone then was different than 313 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,920 Speaker 1: the phone now. And the more you look at the 314 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,880 Speaker 1: Silicon Valley people, the more you see that they do 315 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:15,160 Speaker 1: not give what is called gaming crack, like you know, 316 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,280 Speaker 1: the iPad to their kids. 317 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,000 Speaker 2: And they read books and they do things low tech. 318 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:20,960 Speaker 2: So I think there is a lot to learn there. 319 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,120 Speaker 1: Let's talk about time, because the average team girl is 320 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 1: spending five hours a day on social media. What has 321 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:28,600 Speaker 1: the extra time? 322 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,560 Speaker 3: What are you doing on you too? You're on your phone? 323 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:35,840 Speaker 3: I think I definitely still spend a lot of time 324 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:40,160 Speaker 3: on my phone. It's just in really weird, awkward ways, 325 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 3: like puzzle games I see in ads that I download 326 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,240 Speaker 3: because I think it's fun. A lot of it, i'd say, 327 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:53,160 Speaker 3: is communicating with my friends though texting, uh, facetiming, those 328 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:56,160 Speaker 3: kinds of things which I would argue is obviously better 329 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,440 Speaker 3: than you know, spending the whole time on social media. 330 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:02,480 Speaker 3: Though I do personally know that I could one percent 331 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:05,800 Speaker 3: cut back on phone time because it was affecting my schooling. 332 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:07,840 Speaker 3: It was affecting because you know, when you're homeschool, you're 333 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 3: at home all day. Yeah, there's there's no one standing 334 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:14,640 Speaker 3: behind you telling you to put your phone away or 335 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,800 Speaker 3: your phone's about to die. If your phone's about to die, 336 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,760 Speaker 3: you have a charger to you don't pluck it in. 337 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:22,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, but like I mean, Lucy, you don't have a phone. 338 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,640 Speaker 4: Are you cranky about that? 339 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:24,840 Speaker 3: No? 340 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,560 Speaker 5: Not really At this point, I know, like this is 341 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:32,640 Speaker 5: how our feely works and like no exceptions, So like 342 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,640 Speaker 5: I honestly really enjoy it because I totally see the 343 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,760 Speaker 5: whole time saying even now, like yesterday I was complaining 344 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 5: about like being on summer break and not having enough time. 345 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,240 Speaker 5: So I just see, like, how. 346 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:47,400 Speaker 3: How do your friends get a hold of you a voice? 347 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,240 Speaker 5: Actually it's like with my email, so it works like 348 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 5: a regular phone number. 349 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,640 Speaker 3: But you just it's not like you're sitting in a 350 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:54,920 Speaker 3: tower like or Ponzel. 351 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,480 Speaker 1: I mean, they yeah, they send it with my pigeon, 352 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 1: and I picked up the messages every half hour. The 353 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,600 Speaker 1: Google voicing has been super helpful because then she can 354 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,320 Speaker 1: be in group chats with her friends. 355 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:05,880 Speaker 2: She can do that for school. 356 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,480 Speaker 1: If she needs a phone, she can use my phone 357 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,800 Speaker 1: and to text people, et cetera. And then what's what's 358 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 1: funny about it is think of like Carrie, you and I, 359 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:15,919 Speaker 1: like we would have to go to a payphone, you know, 360 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,000 Speaker 1: we'd have to really do something to get a hold 361 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,119 Speaker 1: of someone else. And our kids all they have to 362 00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:21,920 Speaker 1: do is ask their friend, hey, can I use your phone? 363 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:27,240 Speaker 1: Like practices running away though, Arlene. So if they were driving, 364 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,639 Speaker 1: you know, and this was a talk because Lucy is 365 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,399 Speaker 1: just about she just got she's just on that cusp 366 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 1: of like learning how to drive and all that. But 367 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,200 Speaker 1: my husband James, because I said the same thing, maybe 368 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,440 Speaker 1: they're they're driving, maybe we should talk about getting phone. 369 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:42,680 Speaker 1: And he's like, so you're driving, which requires a lot 370 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:46,280 Speaker 1: of concentration, and then we put a smartphone in front 371 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,440 Speaker 1: of you. And also you know what I mean, So 372 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:52,240 Speaker 1: what so what you really what we have decided on 373 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,600 Speaker 1: is you would get a dumb phone. Right, You could 374 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:57,120 Speaker 1: either get a dumb phone that is not Internet connected, 375 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:57,480 Speaker 1: but that. 376 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,960 Speaker 2: You could call if you needed help. That could happen. 377 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, I know parents that have these like trackers. What 378 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,840 Speaker 4: we decided to do when Lucy was five years old, 379 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 4: I want you to hear me clearly, he had a 380 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,399 Speaker 4: chip implanted into her brain that she still doesn't know 381 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:13,520 Speaker 4: about to this day. It's uh, it's marked the beast. 382 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:14,560 Speaker 4: It's nothing to worry about. 383 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,720 Speaker 2: I did all right. 384 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,879 Speaker 3: I just want her to be I can't track her. 385 00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:20,800 Speaker 3: I don't have a tracker on her phone. I mean, 386 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,399 Speaker 3: I don't think the tracker's smart. I mean, I know 387 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:27,080 Speaker 3: it's shady to turn off your location, but it's easily done. Like, yeah, 388 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,760 Speaker 3: he tried it turn off my You don't have my 389 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,720 Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't have an iPhone. I don't know. Cool. 390 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,520 Speaker 3: But I'm also not the type of person to go 391 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,640 Speaker 3: somewhere I'm not supposed to be going. Yeah, because there's 392 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,840 Speaker 3: a baults of my parents would be so instilled in me, 393 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:45,199 Speaker 3: that's right. I would feel a physical reaction towards leaving 394 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,000 Speaker 3: and going to a place where I'm not supposed to be. 395 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:48,960 Speaker 4: I can't say I had the same child, said Arlene. 396 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:53,199 Speaker 4: I can't say that the guilt was overwhelming. I was 397 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,120 Speaker 4: always watching a movie at my high school friend's house, 398 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:59,040 Speaker 4: Like every weekend we were watching a movie. 399 00:18:59,080 --> 00:18:59,960 Speaker 3: I'll see you home at midnight. 400 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,960 Speaker 4: But you know, we have curfews in our house, we 401 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:06,240 Speaker 4: have rules, Like I think someday they'll probably raise their 402 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,880 Speaker 4: kids like we raise them. They just aren't happy about 403 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:12,440 Speaker 4: it now, but they probably someday will get it. 404 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:17,440 Speaker 1: There's something that is that we need to rEFInd, rekindle. 405 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:20,720 Speaker 1: It's like the freedom that the child has to be 406 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,920 Speaker 1: able to make their own decisions, make their own choices, 407 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,480 Speaker 1: get figure out what is the right bus to get on, 408 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,440 Speaker 1: you know, all those things that. 409 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:30,399 Speaker 2: Obviously I'm not talking about a five year old. You know, 410 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:31,480 Speaker 2: you understand what I'm saying. 411 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,360 Speaker 1: But when you have the phone in your hand, all 412 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,119 Speaker 1: you do is ask mom, ask Dad what am I 413 00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:37,439 Speaker 1: supposed to do? When you don't have the phone in 414 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,000 Speaker 1: your hand, guess what, you learn how to talk to adults. 415 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,800 Speaker 1: You learn how to ask questions, you learn how to 416 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,680 Speaker 1: problem solve on your own. And I think that's a 417 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:48,080 Speaker 1: really good thing of delaying the phone, so the kid 418 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,040 Speaker 1: has to kind of figure out things on their own 419 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:52,400 Speaker 1: before they have those answers. 420 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,600 Speaker 2: All the time. Okay, I want to go to this 421 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:55,480 Speaker 2: you Carrie. 422 00:19:55,560 --> 00:20:00,000 Speaker 1: We're on the cover of Guideposts this year December January, 423 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:06,840 Speaker 1: which was very fun. Talk about how I'm wanting to say, like, 424 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 1: how can we help our girls not have this like 425 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:13,639 Speaker 1: celebrity feeling, like, oh, we all want to be famous, 426 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,320 Speaker 1: we all want to be found on Instagram, we all 427 00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:18,200 Speaker 1: want to be like this next YouTube sensation. How can 428 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:21,760 Speaker 1: we enjoy our gifts and use our gifts but not 429 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 1: be like, oh, this is so great. I want to 430 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,119 Speaker 1: be famous. I want to be a celebrity. I just 431 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,240 Speaker 1: you know, like it's just the numbers of social media. 432 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,440 Speaker 1: I don't really care about my real friends, Like, how 433 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,320 Speaker 1: can we equip our basins way? 434 00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:32,680 Speaker 3: You see? 435 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,400 Speaker 4: Would be a good person to answer that, because you've 436 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,280 Speaker 4: been raised with a mom and a dad that are 437 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:40,119 Speaker 4: really She was in People magazine Celebrity Baby, and I 438 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:41,040 Speaker 4: still think that's great. 439 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,760 Speaker 3: But I kind of feel like, were you ever into 440 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 3: that thing? I mean, when you were little you would 441 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,440 Speaker 3: tell your preschool teachers, my parents are famous. When your 442 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,680 Speaker 3: parents do it, you don't want to do it. It's 443 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:51,959 Speaker 3: almost the opposite effect. 444 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,159 Speaker 4: It's the moms out there that I worry about that 445 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,320 Speaker 4: are getting their nine year old's YouTube channels so they 446 00:20:57,359 --> 00:21:01,480 Speaker 4: could sing, and like, I don't no, man. I have 447 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,960 Speaker 4: a couple of friends that are a lists. One in particular, 448 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:07,040 Speaker 4: she's an A list celebrity. The amount of hate that 449 00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:09,399 Speaker 4: she gets for waking up every day, and. 450 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:10,000 Speaker 3: She's a Christian. 451 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:14,280 Speaker 4: The amount of hate that people slay on her for 452 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 4: existing is so horrible. I wouldn't wish it on my nightmare. 453 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,840 Speaker 4: I'm like a nice Dalist celebrity. I'm like under the 454 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:25,159 Speaker 4: radar mostly, but it's so painful. I don't think real 455 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,520 Speaker 4: influencers are real. You know, they have the numbers that 456 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 4: have it. 457 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not exactly all that people think it is. 458 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 3: It's a mock. 459 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,600 Speaker 4: You can make money, sure, and we make money because 460 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,120 Speaker 4: people know who we are and they want to book 461 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:39,760 Speaker 4: you and they want to buy your book, and that's fair, 462 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:43,280 Speaker 4: but there's so much that comes with that that is ugly. 463 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,199 Speaker 4: I've come to you so many times and been like, 464 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,440 Speaker 4: look at this loser wrote on my YouTube. 465 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,119 Speaker 3: Pager, and I want to write them back. 466 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:51,639 Speaker 4: I want to be like, you need Jesus, you need 467 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:53,520 Speaker 4: a hobby, you need to get out of your mother's basement, 468 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,959 Speaker 4: like which I don't, but I don't think there's as 469 00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:59,120 Speaker 4: much positive as people would think out there. 470 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:04,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, that totally makes sense, Carries Lucy. What advice 471 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:06,400 Speaker 1: would you give to a parent right now? Like what 472 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,960 Speaker 1: do you wish that they knew about you and your friends? 473 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,640 Speaker 1: About their own daughters? Like what do you wish parents knew? 474 00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:13,200 Speaker 3: What do I wish parents knew? 475 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,400 Speaker 2: I know this is a big question, but. 476 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,400 Speaker 3: I think parents just need to remember a little bit 477 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 3: more often that they were once two teenagers and they 478 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,840 Speaker 3: felt the exact same feelings. Maybe not about the same things, 479 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:32,159 Speaker 3: because obviously technology evolves, things change, but the statement that 480 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,560 Speaker 3: there is nothing new under the sun, and you at 481 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:37,160 Speaker 3: one point felt this way about your parents, and you 482 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,920 Speaker 3: at one point felt this way about what you're either 483 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:42,120 Speaker 3: telling us not to do or yelling at us about 484 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,560 Speaker 3: or blah blah blah. I'm not saying that like that's wrong. 485 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,760 Speaker 3: In your mind, you're doing the right thing, but it's 486 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:50,119 Speaker 3: a little bit like a little bit more grace, a 487 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,600 Speaker 3: little bit more also. 488 00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:57,560 Speaker 4: Really dark humor, morbidly horrible bad jokes that no one 489 00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:59,360 Speaker 4: else will hear goes a long way. 490 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,720 Speaker 3: When you were talking about a situation that made you. 491 00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,760 Speaker 4: Sad and there was a person, a very godly person 492 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,880 Speaker 4: in our family life, and she's like, I. 493 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:10,159 Speaker 3: Just want to get rid of her. And I was like, 494 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:11,800 Speaker 3: I will help you bury the body. And we went 495 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:14,040 Speaker 3: ten minutes. I don't know how I can't help her 496 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:15,640 Speaker 3: bury the body because she doesn't want to incriminate. 497 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,280 Speaker 4: Was like, but if you and then we went on 498 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 4: to you, if you did want to kill somebody, who 499 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,480 Speaker 4: would you ask? There'll be a good accomplice, And then 500 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,040 Speaker 4: we named people that we would call. 501 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,520 Speaker 3: To help that would never get And then I think it. 502 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,320 Speaker 2: I hope no one's joining us right now on the podcast. 503 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:33,639 Speaker 3: I think it's like dark, silly, stupid humor to diffuse 504 00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:36,720 Speaker 3: the very drama subject, which is real. 505 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:40,680 Speaker 4: And I also think parents saying I'm on your team, 506 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:43,640 Speaker 4: I validate you what you're going is it's like a 507 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:46,720 Speaker 4: real thing. But I also think humor goes a long 508 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,879 Speaker 4: way to defuse the moment of like, this is the 509 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:51,040 Speaker 4: worst thing that's ever happened. 510 00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:53,080 Speaker 3: Because I did distract you for like ten minutes and 511 00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:56,240 Speaker 3: I made you laugh. She's like, you can't. I would 512 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:57,600 Speaker 3: never have you help me do it work. I would 513 00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:00,639 Speaker 3: never year that's terrible. You keep her in Lindle and 514 00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,520 Speaker 3: I was like, all right, but you know our friend lists. 515 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:05,160 Speaker 2: You would you Yeah, they wouldn't be part of. 516 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,359 Speaker 4: Parents are so serious in these moments of like my 517 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,119 Speaker 4: life is over and I'm like, do I need to 518 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:12,760 Speaker 4: call a priest? 519 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:14,000 Speaker 3: Are we having an exorcism? 520 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:14,239 Speaker 1: Like? 521 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:15,480 Speaker 3: What are we doing? 522 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:18,040 Speaker 4: And really, there's my number one thing I've learned from you. 523 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:22,280 Speaker 4: Kids just want to be heard. They just want to 524 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:23,320 Speaker 4: be heard, right. 525 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,879 Speaker 3: I think another big thing too that I agree with 526 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:28,439 Speaker 3: what you're saying, but I also think that in the 527 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 3: terms of social media and kids wanting to be on 528 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:34,239 Speaker 3: social media, you don't have to conform and give your 529 00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:36,879 Speaker 3: kids social media, but at least hear them out and 530 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,360 Speaker 3: totally understand where they're coming from. There's this shiny new 531 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:44,359 Speaker 3: thing that everybody is getting on when everybody wanted something. 532 00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:46,520 Speaker 3: When you were a kid, you also wanted to do 533 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:50,080 Speaker 3: that thing because everybody was doing it. And I don't 534 00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:52,520 Speaker 3: think that you should shame your kid for wanting to 535 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,960 Speaker 3: do something that they're constantly surrounded with, because that feeling 536 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:59,119 Speaker 3: of being left out definitely hurts and it sucks. I 537 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,560 Speaker 3: still don't have a savage patch kids right. 538 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,600 Speaker 2: Now, that's right. We were we've got left out of. 539 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:07,800 Speaker 3: Yes, I never had guest jeanes to this day, No, 540 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:11,400 Speaker 3: I guest jeans are fifty dollars. And my mom was like, 541 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,959 Speaker 3: heck to the no, you're going to TJ Max. I'm 542 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,280 Speaker 3: gonna get you five parent jees for ten dollars. 543 00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:17,960 Speaker 2: That's right. 544 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,080 Speaker 1: And I so appreciate Lucy you're saying that, you know, 545 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:24,160 Speaker 1: listen to your kids, and you don't have to have 546 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,680 Speaker 1: social media just like everyone else does. It is a 547 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:28,720 Speaker 1: choice you can make not to have it, and it 548 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:32,119 Speaker 1: can be a really really positive choice. And I love 549 00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:34,119 Speaker 1: how the two of you and it is kind of 550 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,879 Speaker 1: how we are too. We enjoy it like it's not. 551 00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:38,600 Speaker 1: You feel like you don't feel like a victim, like 552 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:40,439 Speaker 1: oh man, you kind of feel like, Wow, I'm in 553 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,320 Speaker 1: the matrix. I'm in the know, like I know what 554 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,399 Speaker 1: this does and I'm choosing not to do it. And 555 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,639 Speaker 1: I think there's going to be a lot more people 556 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,000 Speaker 1: as the years roll on that say, yeah, I want 557 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,920 Speaker 1: more of my life back, I'm going to scale back 558 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:52,640 Speaker 1: on the social media. 559 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,120 Speaker 4: Have you read about the trend that millennials are buying 560 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:56,000 Speaker 4: landline phones? 561 00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:56,280 Speaker 3: Now? 562 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,080 Speaker 2: You shouldn't that amazing? 563 00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:00,399 Speaker 1: And you do see, like the flip phones and people 564 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:04,439 Speaker 1: wanting to be less distracted and all that. A landline like, 565 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,280 Speaker 1: we're going to be so cool, you guys, it's gonna 566 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:06,679 Speaker 1: be amazing. 567 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,640 Speaker 3: Going back to Vinyl, I have that that we went 568 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:13,160 Speaker 3: to a Michigan game and I want a landline phone 569 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,679 Speaker 3: in the raffle and I'm yet to set it up. 570 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:17,760 Speaker 3: There's a thing be perfect for it. 571 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:18,160 Speaker 5: I wanted. 572 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:19,359 Speaker 3: You're going to get yourself. 573 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,720 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, you're going to look amazing just sitting 574 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,159 Speaker 1: there with your big old chunky phone. 575 00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:25,520 Speaker 2: That's hilarious. 576 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,080 Speaker 4: Remember the see through phone when we were kids, Earle 577 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,160 Speaker 4: and it was like plastic and then you can see 578 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,480 Speaker 4: that's all I wanted. Like I joke about our generation, 579 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,040 Speaker 4: these kids want iPhones. We just wanted to peel glue 580 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:37,840 Speaker 4: off our hands. 581 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:41,639 Speaker 3: Like the things that we wanted were so simple. But 582 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,080 Speaker 3: wonder Lucy, you guys will leave the path. 583 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,879 Speaker 4: I heard that your generation is making a gen Z 584 00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:48,600 Speaker 4: is making a. 585 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:52,399 Speaker 3: Turn that millennials weren't. I mean it's not completely, but 586 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:53,280 Speaker 3: it's going to be. 587 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,560 Speaker 1: You're going to see more and more kids and more 588 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,639 Speaker 1: and more I do more and more parents saying you 589 00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:59,960 Speaker 1: know what this is we want our childhood back. We're 590 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,920 Speaker 1: we're done with this device centered childhood. We want a 591 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:07,400 Speaker 1: real childhood. Carrie, Lucy, Lucy. This has been so wonderful 592 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:10,160 Speaker 1: to talk to too, Lucy's two moms, Carrie. If people 593 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,240 Speaker 1: want to find out more about you and your comedy 594 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,840 Speaker 1: and post very nice things on your social media, how 595 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:16,560 Speaker 1: can they find you? 596 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,800 Speaker 3: Carrie Palm k E R R I p O M. 597 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,920 Speaker 4: That's Instagram, Facebook, And for people that are cool that 598 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,080 Speaker 4: don't do social media, carry Palm dot com. 599 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,399 Speaker 3: So just remember Carrie pom. 600 00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:30,840 Speaker 2: Carrie Palm dot com. It's so catchy. Thank you so much, everybody. 601 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:32,920 Speaker 3: Thanks guys, Yeah, thanks, thank you. 602 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,560 Speaker 1: My hope is after listening to this that you either 603 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:44,359 Speaker 1: A don't feel alone. You've been delaying social media as well, 604 00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,120 Speaker 1: and you know you are in good company. 605 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:47,720 Speaker 2: I mean two moms to Lucy's. 606 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:50,679 Speaker 1: I mean this is a good company, right or B 607 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,320 Speaker 1: you've been thinking about social media and now you're going 608 00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:56,679 Speaker 1: to push it back, and that is my hope. So 609 00:27:56,840 --> 00:28:00,800 Speaker 1: I'm so grateful for Carrie her daughter Lucy being able 610 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,320 Speaker 1: to have this conversation. I hope it has been helpful. 611 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:06,240 Speaker 1: Maybe it's something that you can share with your teen girl. 612 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,639 Speaker 1: To find out more about Carrie, you can go to 613 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:12,720 Speaker 1: our website Carriepalm dot com and that link will be 614 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,480 Speaker 1: in the show notes. And remember my book screen Kids. 615 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:19,040 Speaker 1: Or if you like to watch videos, you can watch 616 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:22,520 Speaker 1: short teachings from screen Kids a video course, so you 617 00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:25,640 Speaker 1: could either read it, you could listen to it on audible, 618 00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,320 Speaker 1: or you could watch the video course where I am 619 00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:30,600 Speaker 1: teaching out of it and on. Those things are at 620 00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:34,160 Speaker 1: Happy Home University dot com and those links will also 621 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,040 Speaker 1: be in the show notes. It's okay now, my friends, 622 00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,680 Speaker 1: to be different. Normal is not working that great for 623 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,680 Speaker 1: our teens. So if you're different about your social media, 624 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:44,840 Speaker 1: that's going to be a winning thing. So we are 625 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:48,560 Speaker 1: kicking out the tech together this month, and we've got 626 00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:52,800 Speaker 1: another great episode for you next week. Please share this 627 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:56,080 Speaker 1: podcast with a friend. We've been talking about taming and 628 00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,360 Speaker 1: kicking out our tech all month this month, so if 629 00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:01,000 Speaker 1: you missed a prior episode, take a look. You were 630 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:04,920 Speaker 1: going to be charged up to get your phone away 631 00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:08,600 Speaker 1: from you more often. Remember you don't have to come 632 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:12,040 Speaker 1: from a happy home to create one. You two can 633 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,400 Speaker 1: have a happy home