1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:04,060 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:16,110 --> 00:00:19,700 Speaker 2: Welcome to the Everyday Prayers podcast. My name is Nicolette Bell. 3 00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:23,470 Speaker 2: I'm so excited that you have joined us today. We 4 00:00:23,510 --> 00:00:27,380 Speaker 2: have a special guest here with us. Erica Wiggenhorn is 5 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:31,220 Speaker 2: here today to share with us about loving your wayward child. 6 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,320 Speaker 2: I was telling Erica a little bit before we got started. 7 00:00:33,780 --> 00:00:35,820 Speaker 2: I love having women on the show who have been 8 00:00:35,900 --> 00:00:39,100 Speaker 2: walking this journey of motherhood longer than I have and 9 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:43,360 Speaker 2: can share their wisdom and encouragement. 10 00:00:42,620 --> 00:00:45,590 Speaker 1: With those of us along the way. And so I'm 11 00:00:45,729 --> 00:00:47,970 Speaker 1: so excited, Erica, to get to talk with you today. 12 00:00:48,070 --> 00:00:48,950 Speaker 1: Welcome to the show. 13 00:00:49,710 --> 00:00:53,020 Speaker 3: Thank you, Nicolette. I'm Excited to be here. 14 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,740 Speaker 2: So why don't we begin with you just telling our 15 00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:04,970 Speaker 2: audience a little bit about you and your journey in 16 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,930 Speaker 2: ministry and what kind of led you to this project? 17 00:01:08,890 --> 00:01:09,370 Speaker 3: Yeah. 18 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:13,990 Speaker 4: So I have been married to my husband for 33 years. 19 00:01:15,230 --> 00:01:17,730 Speaker 4: And we have two children. We have a daughter, Eliana. 20 00:01:17,850 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 4: She's 22. And we have a son, Nathan, who is 20. 21 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:28,030 Speaker 4: This is not my first book. I actually am really 22 00:01:28,050 --> 00:01:32,970 Speaker 4: a Bible study writer, author, speaker, and I travel around 23 00:01:33,930 --> 00:01:37,759 Speaker 4: speaking at different Christian women's camps, women's. 24 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:41,780 Speaker 3: Conferences, church retreats, military installations. 25 00:01:42,940 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 4: Getting women into God's Word is just the absolute joy. 26 00:01:47,380 --> 00:01:48,190 Speaker 3: Of my heart. 27 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 4: And this project came about because one thing that I noticed, Nicolette, 28 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,660 Speaker 4: a lot of places that I was going at the 29 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:01,660 Speaker 4: end of my session, at the end of teaching a 30 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:05,870 Speaker 4: portion out of God's Word, I often invite the women 31 00:02:06,030 --> 00:02:08,770 Speaker 4: and say, if you have a specific prayer need, if 32 00:02:08,810 --> 00:02:11,549 Speaker 4: there's something that you want to share with me or 33 00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:14,210 Speaker 4: I can pray with you, come see me in the 34 00:02:14,230 --> 00:02:15,710 Speaker 4: back of the room at the end of the session. 35 00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 4: And I would say, maybe five, six, seven years ago, 36 00:02:21,060 --> 00:02:22,960 Speaker 4: the number one thing that people were coming in the 37 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,399 Speaker 4: back of the room, you know. 38 00:02:26,350 --> 00:02:27,610 Speaker 3: Difficult things, right? 39 00:02:28,090 --> 00:02:36,720 Speaker 4: Cancer diagnosis, aging parents, financial crisis, lots of health things. 40 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:41,900 Speaker 4: But the last two to three years, there was a 41 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:46,340 Speaker 4: pattern and the pattern shifted. And what women were coming 42 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,880 Speaker 4: through to the back of the room to ask for 43 00:02:48,940 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 4: prayer over was their children. And it was all different things. 44 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:56,920 Speaker 4: You know, it was children who had walked away from 45 00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:02,030 Speaker 4: the faith, children that were failing to launch, children who 46 00:03:02,510 --> 00:03:04,889 Speaker 4: had cut them out of their lives and were not 47 00:03:04,950 --> 00:03:09,410 Speaker 4: talking to them, sometimes with no explanation why, children who 48 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 4: had gotten involved in a relationship and it had greatly 49 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,540 Speaker 4: strained their relationship with their parents, or maybe they had 50 00:03:16,620 --> 00:03:22,310 Speaker 4: some identity confusion. What these parents didn't know is they're 51 00:03:22,350 --> 00:03:25,490 Speaker 4: approaching me and their voice is cracking and their eyes 52 00:03:25,550 --> 00:03:29,370 Speaker 4: are filled with tears and just screaming. Their eyes are screaming, 53 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 4: please give me some hope, Erica. Please give me some hope. 54 00:03:32,970 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 4: My heart is crushed. Little did they know that I 55 00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:40,590 Speaker 4: was saying those very same things to God in my 56 00:03:40,650 --> 00:03:41,820 Speaker 4: prayer journal that morning. 57 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:42,930 Speaker 1: How long, Lord? 58 00:03:43,110 --> 00:03:47,330 Speaker 4: This hurts so badly. When is this going to get better? 59 00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:50,510 Speaker 4: When am I going to see you moving in this situation? 60 00:03:51,090 --> 00:03:53,910 Speaker 4: And I knew God was showing me over and over 61 00:03:53,970 --> 00:03:57,630 Speaker 4: and over, partially to let me know that I wasn't alone, 62 00:03:57,970 --> 00:04:02,340 Speaker 4: but secondarily to let me know, this is something that 63 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:08,300 Speaker 4: I need my word for. to be spoken into. I mean, 64 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:13,580 Speaker 4: the voice of truth and the hope of who I 65 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:18,490 Speaker 4: am as the eternal father spoken into this situation that 66 00:04:18,589 --> 00:04:22,750 Speaker 4: so many families are breaking apart over. And that is 67 00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:25,330 Speaker 4: what led to Loving Your Wayward Child. 68 00:04:26,650 --> 00:04:30,040 Speaker 2: That's such a beautiful story. And how cool you said, 69 00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:32,960 Speaker 2: you know, that's twofold. The Lord's showing you that you're 70 00:04:32,980 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 2: not alone. And for two, this is something that I 71 00:04:36,020 --> 00:04:38,380 Speaker 2: want to say. Would you listen to what I have 72 00:04:38,420 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 2: to say about this and share it with others? You know, 73 00:04:43,220 --> 00:04:47,700 Speaker 2: I think so often in our motherhood journeys, we can 74 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:52,410 Speaker 2: just feel alone, can't we? Regardless of what we're facing 75 00:04:52,570 --> 00:04:57,050 Speaker 2: with our children, we can feel just alone in what 76 00:04:57,089 --> 00:05:02,170 Speaker 2: we're walking through. And I think just having that reminder 77 00:05:02,490 --> 00:05:05,270 Speaker 2: of you are not alone. And that's really what is 78 00:05:05,330 --> 00:05:08,250 Speaker 2: so important to us here at Million Praying Moms, that 79 00:05:08,290 --> 00:05:11,940 Speaker 2: we're in community with one another, that we're reminding ourselves 80 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,240 Speaker 2: again and again. There's a whole group of women who 81 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:18,980 Speaker 2: are passionate about praying for their children. We are not 82 00:05:19,140 --> 00:05:23,419 Speaker 2: alone in what we are walking through. So kind of 83 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,040 Speaker 2: go from there for us, Erica. Tell us, once you 84 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:28,740 Speaker 2: kind of felt that nudge from the Lord, what did 85 00:05:28,779 --> 00:05:32,410 Speaker 2: that look like in your studying, in your own kind 86 00:05:32,450 --> 00:05:36,350 Speaker 2: of revelation of what God's Word was having to say 87 00:05:36,529 --> 00:05:40,750 Speaker 2: about this particular situation that you and others were finding 88 00:05:40,790 --> 00:05:41,320 Speaker 2: yourselves in? 89 00:05:42,630 --> 00:05:47,029 Speaker 4: Well, as a Bible teacher, Nicolette, the first thing that 90 00:05:47,070 --> 00:05:51,870 Speaker 4: I just felt really compelled to share were the stories 91 00:05:51,950 --> 00:05:56,050 Speaker 4: in Scripture and the hope and promises in Scripture that 92 00:05:56,529 --> 00:05:57,960 Speaker 4: God had used. 93 00:05:58,380 --> 00:05:59,740 Speaker 3: To heal my own heart. 94 00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:00,500 Speaker 2: It was. 95 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:05,360 Speaker 4: it was a compilation of, you know, going back through, 96 00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 4: you know, this wasn't like we're in day one of 97 00:06:09,860 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 4: having a wayward child and I'm sitting down to. 98 00:06:12,140 --> 00:06:13,040 Speaker 3: Write this book, right? 99 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:17,059 Speaker 4: This had been a long, hard road before the very 100 00:06:17,140 --> 00:06:19,060 Speaker 4: first word of this book. 101 00:06:19,020 --> 00:06:20,580 Speaker 3: Ever had gotten written. 102 00:06:21,540 --> 00:06:26,670 Speaker 4: And looking back through all of those prayer journals and 103 00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:33,739 Speaker 4: the sections of scripture, where God had just literally jumped 104 00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,900 Speaker 4: off the page to me. You know how He does 105 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,500 Speaker 4: that when we're just crying out to Him, right? Scripture 106 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:42,160 Speaker 4: tells us He's close to the brokenhearted. We're crying out 107 00:06:42,220 --> 00:06:45,920 Speaker 4: to Him and just saying, Lord, I need hope. 108 00:06:46,260 --> 00:06:47,180 Speaker 3: I need my. 109 00:06:47,180 --> 00:06:53,500 Speaker 4: Soul tethered to You right now. And starting there with 110 00:06:53,820 --> 00:06:59,360 Speaker 4: some stories in Scripture that God, Holy Spirit, just illuminated 111 00:06:59,380 --> 00:06:59,620 Speaker 4: to me. 112 00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:02,719 Speaker 3: And brought such balm to my soul. 113 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:08,690 Speaker 4: But I knew also over that course of time, there 114 00:07:08,750 --> 00:07:12,770 Speaker 4: were things that I had learned that I wish I 115 00:07:12,810 --> 00:07:17,970 Speaker 4: could go back and do differently. I knew I wanted 116 00:07:18,010 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 4: to start with sharing scripture because that's how God ultimately 117 00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:25,080 Speaker 4: heals our own heart. And that's a big part, honestly, 118 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:29,040 Speaker 4: of the book is allowing God to be a lifeline 119 00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:33,780 Speaker 4: for our own mama heart. first before we move into 120 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:39,500 Speaker 4: how do we move towards fixing this relationship in any way, 121 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:43,420 Speaker 4: shape or form. So it starts there. But I also 122 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 4: knew that I had learned some things along the way, 123 00:07:46,610 --> 00:07:49,470 Speaker 4: things that I wish I would have known from the beginning. 124 00:07:50,420 --> 00:07:53,040 Speaker 3: Things I wish I would have done differently, maybe. 125 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,330 Speaker 4: And I felt it was important to share those things 126 00:07:56,450 --> 00:08:00,190 Speaker 4: because I didn't want to see other moms falling into 127 00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:02,650 Speaker 4: some of the same traps and making some of the 128 00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:06,030 Speaker 4: same mistakes that I had made. And I wanted to 129 00:08:06,870 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 4: let them learn from somebody who has been through it. 130 00:08:11,820 --> 00:08:14,060 Speaker 4: I don't want to say I'm all the way through it, Nicolette, 131 00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 4: because there is still an element of, you know, this 132 00:08:17,660 --> 00:08:20,280 Speaker 4: is not a neat and tidy bow, like a nice 133 00:08:20,340 --> 00:08:22,820 Speaker 4: Cinderella happily ever after story at the end. 134 00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:25,120 Speaker 3: There is definitely a. 135 00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:31,140 Speaker 4: Lot, a lot of healing and reconciliation that has happened 136 00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:34,959 Speaker 4: in our relationship. Do I want to see my son 137 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:38,800 Speaker 4: walking closer with Jesus than he is now? 138 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:38,839 Speaker 1: 1000%. 139 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:44,210 Speaker 4: So this isn't a, you're going to get to the 140 00:08:44,450 --> 00:08:47,750 Speaker 4: end and be like, oh, well, that goody for you, Erica. 141 00:08:47,830 --> 00:08:48,650 Speaker 3: I'm so glad. 142 00:08:48,670 --> 00:08:54,080 Speaker 4: It's very, very authentic about where we've been and where 143 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:57,740 Speaker 4: we still are. But I think that that's part of 144 00:08:57,780 --> 00:09:02,970 Speaker 4: the power of it is saying all the circumstances don't 145 00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:06,190 Speaker 4: have to be perfect in order to be a family 146 00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:09,370 Speaker 4: and in order to love one another and in order 147 00:09:09,429 --> 00:09:12,740 Speaker 4: to find connection. And that is a big part of 148 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 4: the hope that I hope moms will see and hold 149 00:09:17,179 --> 00:09:21,260 Speaker 4: on to and figure out, how can I have connection 150 00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:24,390 Speaker 4: even when it's still a little bit messy? 151 00:09:25,370 --> 00:09:28,190 Speaker 1: That's so good. That's so good. When we were struggling 152 00:09:28,230 --> 00:09:31,589 Speaker 1: with infertility, I felt the same kind of way. 153 00:09:32,010 --> 00:09:34,250 Speaker 2: I didn't write about it until we were very deep 154 00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 2: in the journey, years of being in the journey. And 155 00:09:38,580 --> 00:09:42,780 Speaker 2: it's like, Once I had our daughter, I thought, well, 156 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:47,590 Speaker 2: now I can't really speak to that, right? Because it's like, oh, 157 00:09:48,110 --> 00:09:51,370 Speaker 2: you've gotten the end of the picture, right? But we 158 00:09:51,410 --> 00:09:53,810 Speaker 2: had secondary infertility with our second child. It's like, you know, 159 00:09:53,830 --> 00:09:57,310 Speaker 2: you just never are— that neat and pretty bow isn't there 160 00:09:57,370 --> 00:09:59,429 Speaker 2: when it comes to praying for our children a lot 161 00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:02,060 Speaker 2: of the time. But thankfully, that's not what God asks 162 00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:04,989 Speaker 2: of us or desires of us. But that place of 163 00:10:05,530 --> 00:10:10,290 Speaker 2: authenticity and honesty with Him is what is so important 164 00:10:10,370 --> 00:10:12,870 Speaker 2: to Him, I think. And I think that's so important 165 00:10:12,929 --> 00:10:15,709 Speaker 2: in our encouragement to one another. You know, I'm a 166 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:18,900 Speaker 2: good Southern girl, and in the South, you know, somebody 167 00:10:18,980 --> 00:10:22,679 Speaker 2: asks you, how are you doing? And your answer is, good. 168 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:23,340 Speaker 3: We're good. 169 00:10:23,380 --> 00:10:27,199 Speaker 1: We're fine. Everything's fine, right? And so I think, you know, 170 00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:28,410 Speaker 1: sometimes in our— You can. 171 00:10:28,330 --> 00:10:33,230 Speaker 3: Also say, well, we're having a time. We're having a. 172 00:10:33,210 --> 00:10:35,470 Speaker 4: Time, which means we're going through something, but I'm not 173 00:10:35,490 --> 00:10:36,089 Speaker 4: going to tell you what it is. 174 00:10:36,090 --> 00:10:39,569 Speaker 3: I'm not talking about it. Don't go there. 175 00:10:39,590 --> 00:10:43,809 Speaker 2: I did a little social experiment at church one morning. 176 00:10:43,990 --> 00:10:46,550 Speaker 2: Every time somebody asked me that statement, it was for 177 00:10:46,570 --> 00:10:48,530 Speaker 2: like a little project I was working on, I'm just 178 00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:50,330 Speaker 2: going to see what happens if I mix it up 179 00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:50,990 Speaker 2: a little bit, right? 180 00:10:51,090 --> 00:10:53,449 Speaker 1: So somebody says, you know, how are you? And it's like, well, 181 00:10:53,470 --> 00:10:55,770 Speaker 1: I actually had a really tough week this week. And 182 00:10:55,790 --> 00:10:58,800 Speaker 1: people are just like, whoa, no, like you can't, like, 183 00:10:58,860 --> 00:11:00,980 Speaker 1: that's not the answer. You don't get to say that. 184 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,520 Speaker 3: On Sunday morning, right? We're in church, don't say that. 185 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:07,930 Speaker 2: And so I think there's something so refreshing about being 186 00:11:08,110 --> 00:11:12,150 Speaker 2: able to discuss this topic in the Christian circle. Why 187 00:11:12,190 --> 00:11:17,750 Speaker 2: do you think it's so challenging for people to maybe 188 00:11:17,850 --> 00:11:19,290 Speaker 2: open up about this, Erica? 189 00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:23,980 Speaker 4: Yeah, it was really interesting, Nicolette. So when I was 190 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:28,020 Speaker 4: writing this book, Loving Your Rare Child, one of my 191 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:32,760 Speaker 4: fears was I do not want any woman to come 192 00:11:32,820 --> 00:11:35,760 Speaker 4: across this book, think she's going to pick it up 193 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:39,240 Speaker 4: off of the shelf and start reading it and get 194 00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:43,490 Speaker 4: into page 10 and say, I can't see myself in 195 00:11:43,530 --> 00:11:44,270 Speaker 4: this story. 196 00:11:44,809 --> 00:11:46,849 Speaker 3: Like that's her story. That's not my story. 197 00:11:47,690 --> 00:11:50,750 Speaker 4: I wanted it to, I wanted it to be, I 198 00:11:52,070 --> 00:11:55,450 Speaker 4: wanted every woman who picked it up to feel seen, 199 00:11:55,790 --> 00:11:59,229 Speaker 4: to feel seen by God, to feel seen in her struggle, 200 00:11:59,630 --> 00:12:02,730 Speaker 4: to feel like there was someone else out there who 201 00:12:02,770 --> 00:12:06,030 Speaker 4: could understand the depth of her pain. And so one 202 00:12:06,050 --> 00:12:10,210 Speaker 4: of the things that I felt very strongly was to 203 00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:13,270 Speaker 4: put together a focus group. So we had a focus 204 00:12:13,290 --> 00:12:17,290 Speaker 4: group of about 75 moms. And as I was writing 205 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:22,920 Speaker 4: this story, I was dishing them out a couple chapters 206 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 4: at a time with some follow-up questions that they would 207 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,360 Speaker 4: send back to me. And we're going back and forth 208 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:31,520 Speaker 4: and we're dialoguing because I didn't want it to be 209 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 4: my story. I wanted it to be the story of 210 00:12:35,900 --> 00:12:39,790 Speaker 4: a God who hears a mother's prayers, who answers, who 211 00:12:39,830 --> 00:12:44,109 Speaker 4: brings healing to her heart, and who is pursuing her 212 00:12:44,490 --> 00:12:51,120 Speaker 4: wayward child. And the thing that was so prevalent, so 213 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:56,880 Speaker 4: many different situations in the 75 of us and what 214 00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,140 Speaker 4: we were facing with our child. There was rarely even, 215 00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:03,459 Speaker 4: you know, two or three that were identical. They were 216 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:09,000 Speaker 4: all so different in what the waywardness looked like. But 217 00:13:09,020 --> 00:13:15,179 Speaker 4: there was one thing that was common to every mom 218 00:13:15,220 --> 00:13:15,780 Speaker 4: in the group. 219 00:13:16,460 --> 00:13:20,710 Speaker 3: And it was that we wrestled with this question, what 220 00:13:20,850 --> 00:13:22,370 Speaker 3: did I do wrong? 221 00:13:23,230 --> 00:13:23,690 Speaker 2: Yes. 222 00:13:23,730 --> 00:13:26,349 Speaker 3: What did I miss? What did I do wrong? 223 00:13:26,809 --> 00:13:34,580 Speaker 4: And because I think moms default into blaming ourselves somehow 224 00:13:35,380 --> 00:13:38,540 Speaker 4: that our child has made a choice as they've gotten 225 00:13:38,660 --> 00:13:44,270 Speaker 4: older to walk away from the Lord. We bear on 226 00:13:44,330 --> 00:13:47,510 Speaker 4: our own shoulders the responsibility for that. And because we 227 00:13:47,710 --> 00:13:51,890 Speaker 4: are wrestling with the guilt and the shame of our 228 00:13:51,950 --> 00:13:55,340 Speaker 4: child's choice, we don't want to talk about it with 229 00:13:55,410 --> 00:14:00,200 Speaker 4: other people because our hearts are barely beating as it is. 230 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:03,420 Speaker 4: And if we say the wrong thing, just like you 231 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:05,140 Speaker 4: were talking about at church, right? If we say the 232 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:08,260 Speaker 4: wrong thing and people are like, you know, giving us 233 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:09,199 Speaker 4: the like, what? 234 00:14:09,220 --> 00:14:12,360 Speaker 3: You know, we think I'm not going to make it. 235 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:13,260 Speaker 3: Like I can't. 236 00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:14,199 Speaker 1: I'm so.... 237 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 4: Caught up in scrutinizing and blaming and judging myself, the 238 00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:24,660 Speaker 4: idea of possibly opening myself up to the scrutiny or 239 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,970 Speaker 4: judgment of others is. 240 00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:27,890 Speaker 3: More than I can bear. 241 00:14:27,990 --> 00:14:29,010 Speaker 1: Can't even think about. 242 00:14:29,030 --> 00:14:29,110 Speaker 3: Yeah. 243 00:14:30,090 --> 00:14:34,290 Speaker 4: I'm just gonna put on my smiling face and not 244 00:14:34,390 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 4: talk about it because it hurts too much. But that's 245 00:14:38,620 --> 00:14:41,440 Speaker 4: one of the things that I learned when I talked 246 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:44,200 Speaker 4: about some of the things that I share that I 247 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:49,700 Speaker 4: learned the hard way, isolating is not the answer. 248 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,060 Speaker 3: Isolating is not the answer. 249 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,300 Speaker 1: That's so good. That's so rich. 250 00:14:54,380 --> 00:14:56,400 Speaker 2: There's so much that you just said there that could 251 00:14:56,440 --> 00:15:00,590 Speaker 2: be so encouraging to people at different points on their journey. 252 00:15:00,610 --> 00:15:04,640 Speaker 2: And I think any mother can relate to that feeling of, 253 00:15:04,770 --> 00:15:07,250 Speaker 2: what have I done wrong? I served in youth ministry 254 00:15:07,290 --> 00:15:10,690 Speaker 2: for many years and would have families come into my 255 00:15:10,870 --> 00:15:14,580 Speaker 2: office or parents. you know, concerned about whatever choice their 256 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:18,350 Speaker 2: child was making. And, you know, it's, it's that feeling 257 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,990 Speaker 2: of just helplessness. And even with my young children, I 258 00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:23,810 Speaker 2: just look at them sometimes and think like, I cannot 259 00:15:23,850 --> 00:15:26,510 Speaker 2: control you. Like I can, I can do things and 260 00:15:26,530 --> 00:15:29,210 Speaker 2: I can put boundaries around you and I can do this, 261 00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:31,489 Speaker 2: but like, I really can't control what comes out of 262 00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:34,050 Speaker 2: my five-year-old's mouth at this point. I just can't, I 263 00:15:34,090 --> 00:15:35,690 Speaker 2: can't control it. And there's such a. 264 00:15:35,690 --> 00:15:38,370 Speaker 3: Level of, of releasing to that. 265 00:15:38,450 --> 00:15:40,470 Speaker 1: And we, as moms, we want to be in control. 266 00:15:40,510 --> 00:15:43,060 Speaker 2: We want to, to do all the things to keep 267 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:47,020 Speaker 2: our children in the way that we think they should go. 268 00:15:47,060 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 2: And ultimately in God's way, right? If we're seeking Jesus 269 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:53,140 Speaker 2: and we want what's best for them, but we can't 270 00:15:53,180 --> 00:15:57,570 Speaker 2: control them. And that's a really hard place of releasing 271 00:15:57,970 --> 00:16:01,030 Speaker 2: for us as moms. What do you think helps us 272 00:16:01,230 --> 00:16:04,650 Speaker 2: get to that spot where we can kind of release 273 00:16:04,870 --> 00:16:06,450 Speaker 2: some of that control? 274 00:16:08,860 --> 00:16:10,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a process. 275 00:16:10,860 --> 00:16:15,140 Speaker 4: I'll tell you what the Lord showed me in Scripture 276 00:16:15,220 --> 00:16:21,330 Speaker 4: that was just like, right? I was studying. I thought, well, 277 00:16:22,570 --> 00:16:25,910 Speaker 4: let's just start with, let's start at the beginning. Let's 278 00:16:25,950 --> 00:16:29,330 Speaker 4: start with the very first family in Scripture. What can 279 00:16:29,410 --> 00:16:36,690 Speaker 4: I learn here about God? And you know, Adam and Eve, Eve, 280 00:16:36,750 --> 00:16:40,150 Speaker 4: the OG mother, right? She starts out like, right, she's 281 00:16:40,190 --> 00:16:44,320 Speaker 4: got no generational baggage, you know, she doesn't even have 282 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:45,200 Speaker 4: to do dishes. 283 00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:50,060 Speaker 3: I mean, this girl's got it made, right? Like, and yet, 284 00:16:50,700 --> 00:16:51,740 Speaker 3: and yet, right. 285 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:59,380 Speaker 4: We, Genesis 3, right, the fall, and what is Eve's story, right? 286 00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:04,150 Speaker 4: What happens right after the fall where we've got, Cain 287 00:17:04,810 --> 00:17:12,990 Speaker 4: murdering Abel, and then we've got Cain being exiled away 288 00:17:13,150 --> 00:17:19,260 Speaker 4: from Adam and Eve, from his family due to his choices, right? 289 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:24,220 Speaker 4: And God does two things in that story that I 290 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:29,200 Speaker 4: think are so hopeful and so profound. The first thing 291 00:17:29,580 --> 00:17:34,359 Speaker 4: that he does is he says to Cain, he says, um, 292 00:17:37,780 --> 00:17:39,880 Speaker 4: if you choose to do what is right, you know, 293 00:17:40,380 --> 00:17:44,770 Speaker 4: choose to do what is right. And he implies in 294 00:17:44,810 --> 00:17:48,790 Speaker 4: the story, Cain knows what is right. 295 00:17:49,830 --> 00:17:50,050 Speaker 2: Right. 296 00:17:50,109 --> 00:17:53,330 Speaker 4: He doesn't say like, Cain, come over here with me 297 00:17:53,470 --> 00:17:57,210 Speaker 4: so I can teach you what is right or remind you. 298 00:17:57,150 --> 00:17:58,369 Speaker 3: Again what is right. 299 00:17:58,609 --> 00:17:58,889 Speaker 2: Right. 300 00:17:58,910 --> 00:18:02,270 Speaker 3: He says you, he, Choose to do what is right, Cain. 301 00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:03,950 Speaker 3: You know what is right. 302 00:18:04,609 --> 00:18:09,670 Speaker 4: And that brought me such comfort because I thought, regardless 303 00:18:09,730 --> 00:18:13,210 Speaker 4: of the choices that my son is making, he knows 304 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:19,140 Speaker 4: what is right. Because what is right in the eyes 305 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:23,960 Speaker 4: of the Lord has been sown into him from youth. 306 00:18:24,580 --> 00:18:27,220 Speaker 4: But the second thing that God does in that story 307 00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,740 Speaker 4: is we're told he puts a mark on Cain. 308 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:30,420 Speaker 2: Right? 309 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:38,100 Speaker 4: So that anywhere Cain went, God's presence went with him. 310 00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:41,700 Speaker 4: That mark of God's presence went with him and protected him. 311 00:18:42,380 --> 00:18:46,659 Speaker 4: And you see that marking and that joining of God's 312 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,840 Speaker 4: presence with his people wherever they go. When they go 313 00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:52,939 Speaker 4: into exile, he goes with them into exile and he 314 00:18:52,980 --> 00:18:55,760 Speaker 4: brings them back out of exile. And we see that 315 00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:59,830 Speaker 4: pattern in scripture. And so I sense the Lord just 316 00:18:59,910 --> 00:19:04,220 Speaker 4: really telling me, you know, He knows what is right. 317 00:19:05,220 --> 00:19:07,700 Speaker 4: You've taught Him what is right. You have done what 318 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,280 Speaker 4: I asked you to do as His mother. And I'm 319 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:15,560 Speaker 4: with Him, right? Sometimes when people would ask me about 320 00:19:16,310 --> 00:19:19,689 Speaker 4: our son, like, oh, you know, how's he doing? And 321 00:19:19,750 --> 00:19:22,910 Speaker 4: my answer would be, well, you know, he's still far 322 00:19:22,990 --> 00:19:26,490 Speaker 4: from God. He's far from God. And the Lord really 323 00:19:26,550 --> 00:19:30,800 Speaker 4: taught me in that story. He's never far from me, Erica. 324 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:31,060 Speaker 2: Yeah. 325 00:19:31,700 --> 00:19:32,020 Speaker 1: Wow. 326 00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:37,260 Speaker 4: I am right there with him at all times, no 327 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:42,790 Speaker 4: matter where he goes. I am with him. But the 328 00:19:42,869 --> 00:19:46,470 Speaker 4: third thing in Eve's story, when we get to the end, 329 00:19:47,210 --> 00:19:56,450 Speaker 4: when God births Seth, and Eve's verbiage changes, and in 330 00:19:56,490 --> 00:20:00,810 Speaker 4: the beginning, she basically says something to the effect of, 331 00:20:02,430 --> 00:20:06,670 Speaker 4: I've had a child with the Lord's help. But when 332 00:20:06,690 --> 00:20:09,010 Speaker 4: we get to the end of that chapter and Seth 333 00:20:09,090 --> 00:20:13,830 Speaker 4: is born, she basically changes what she says to, the 334 00:20:15,430 --> 00:20:23,470 Speaker 4: Lord has given me a child. And I think that's important, 335 00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:27,780 Speaker 4: that tiny little shift in how Eve describes the birth 336 00:20:27,820 --> 00:20:33,500 Speaker 4: of her children is so profound, because what the writer 337 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:36,580 Speaker 4: is saying, what Moses is saying in writing this section 338 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:42,689 Speaker 4: of Genesis is, Somehow along the way, Eve came to 339 00:20:42,730 --> 00:20:46,720 Speaker 4: the conclusion that none of this was really in any 340 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:47,520 Speaker 4: of her control. 341 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:49,619 Speaker 3: Right? 342 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:54,890 Speaker 4: It was God who gave. It was God who protected. 343 00:20:54,910 --> 00:20:59,150 Speaker 4: It was God who guided. It was God who guarded. 344 00:20:59,170 --> 00:21:01,270 Speaker 1: And she was just there to follow God. 345 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,179 Speaker 4: In what God had shown her to do, shown her 346 00:21:09,220 --> 00:21:11,520 Speaker 4: what was right that she was to do, but it 347 00:21:11,580 --> 00:21:12,340 Speaker 4: was really in. 348 00:21:13,810 --> 00:21:14,770 Speaker 3: God's hands. 349 00:21:16,869 --> 00:21:20,090 Speaker 4: And that was freeing to me, Nicolette, because as a mom, 350 00:21:20,369 --> 00:21:23,550 Speaker 4: we want it to be in our hands, but we 351 00:21:23,590 --> 00:21:25,570 Speaker 4: really don't want it to be in our hands, right? 352 00:21:25,650 --> 00:21:27,570 Speaker 4: A part of us wants it to be in our hands, 353 00:21:28,930 --> 00:21:31,240 Speaker 4: but the other part of it, when we get to 354 00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:35,189 Speaker 4: that place where Eve was like, this is out of 355 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,600 Speaker 4: control and beyond my control and I can't fix it, 356 00:21:40,220 --> 00:21:43,040 Speaker 4: then we want it to be in God's hands. And 357 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:48,439 Speaker 4: God was so gracious to show her, Eve, this is 358 00:21:48,590 --> 00:21:51,710 Speaker 4: all in my hands. The redemption of the whole world 359 00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:54,670 Speaker 4: is in my hands and the redemption of your own 360 00:21:54,830 --> 00:21:56,189 Speaker 4: family is in my hands. 361 00:21:57,130 --> 00:21:57,790 Speaker 1: I am God. 362 00:21:58,890 --> 00:22:03,530 Speaker 4: Be still and trust me. And that was huge to me, Nicolette, 363 00:22:03,609 --> 00:22:06,669 Speaker 4: when I was in the pit of how is this 364 00:22:06,710 --> 00:22:09,130 Speaker 4: going to get fixed? Is this ever going to get fixed? 365 00:22:10,250 --> 00:22:12,310 Speaker 4: Am I ever going to find joy again if it's 366 00:22:12,369 --> 00:22:13,010 Speaker 4: not fixed? 367 00:22:13,410 --> 00:22:14,810 Speaker 3: Am I ever going to. 368 00:22:15,869 --> 00:22:19,820 Speaker 4: Be rid of this constant guilt and shame and echo 369 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,159 Speaker 4: chamber in my head of what did I do wrong 370 00:22:22,580 --> 00:22:28,959 Speaker 4: if it doesn't get fixed? That work of God in 371 00:22:29,060 --> 00:22:35,450 Speaker 4: Scripture works. was so healing to my heart. So profound. 372 00:22:35,630 --> 00:22:41,930 Speaker 2: Wow. That's such a beautiful testimony of allowing that work 373 00:22:42,590 --> 00:22:45,970 Speaker 2: of God's Word in your life. Eric, I want to 374 00:22:46,010 --> 00:22:49,050 Speaker 2: press in just a little bit more specifically in prayer, 375 00:22:49,070 --> 00:22:51,240 Speaker 2: because that's what we talk about here at Million Praying 376 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,879 Speaker 2: Moms the most, is praying for our children. What specific 377 00:22:55,060 --> 00:22:59,600 Speaker 2: prayers did you pray over God? your son during these 378 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,920 Speaker 2: seasons or what patterns of prayer do you have for 379 00:23:02,980 --> 00:23:07,330 Speaker 2: your children? Especially maybe when you reach that point of going, 380 00:23:07,350 --> 00:23:10,570 Speaker 2: I don't know what else to do here. Yeah. 381 00:23:11,670 --> 00:23:16,970 Speaker 4: I love this question because I learned something much later 382 00:23:17,170 --> 00:23:20,500 Speaker 4: in this journey and this hard season than I, that 383 00:23:20,540 --> 00:23:22,960 Speaker 4: I would like to admit, but I'll be honest about it. 384 00:23:23,900 --> 00:23:26,700 Speaker 3: You know, in the beginning. 385 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:30,250 Speaker 4: My prayers sounded a whole lot like giving God all 386 00:23:30,270 --> 00:23:33,369 Speaker 4: of my good ideas of how this should get fixed. 387 00:23:34,010 --> 00:23:34,430 Speaker 2: Yes. 388 00:23:35,550 --> 00:23:38,010 Speaker 4: I have a lot of good ideas for God. I'm 389 00:23:38,109 --> 00:23:40,410 Speaker 4: not going to put that on anyone else out there. 390 00:23:40,890 --> 00:23:44,389 Speaker 4: You all are probably much better prayer warriors than I am. 391 00:23:44,690 --> 00:23:48,570 Speaker 4: But that's how it started. God, just do this or 392 00:23:48,609 --> 00:23:50,610 Speaker 4: just do this or just do this, right? I had 393 00:23:50,630 --> 00:23:53,770 Speaker 4: a good idea for God a minute. And I realized 394 00:23:53,850 --> 00:23:56,270 Speaker 4: that God is much better at being God than I am. 395 00:23:57,170 --> 00:24:02,459 Speaker 4: Then my prayers shifted to just let him hit rock bottom. 396 00:24:03,060 --> 00:24:06,540 Speaker 4: Just let him hit rock bottom. Pound his head in 397 00:24:06,580 --> 00:24:12,210 Speaker 4: the pavement. Wake him up. Just do whatever hard thing 398 00:24:12,250 --> 00:24:16,170 Speaker 4: you have to do to get his attention. I moved 399 00:24:16,230 --> 00:24:20,190 Speaker 4: into that season of praying. A big part of that, Nicolette, 400 00:24:20,210 --> 00:24:21,440 Speaker 4: came from the fact that I. 401 00:24:23,830 --> 00:24:25,990 Speaker 4: I taught the word of God in the Arizona State 402 00:24:26,030 --> 00:24:31,630 Speaker 4: Women's Prison for several years. And the women in prison 403 00:24:31,750 --> 00:24:35,420 Speaker 4: would often, often say, you know, it wasn't until I 404 00:24:35,460 --> 00:24:38,460 Speaker 4: hit rock bottom that I realized, right? 405 00:24:38,900 --> 00:24:41,760 Speaker 3: So that became my prayer, like, let him hit rock bottom. 406 00:24:43,980 --> 00:24:45,939 Speaker 3: And then one day I was, I. 407 00:24:47,420 --> 00:24:50,409 Speaker 4: Was actually reading John 4, The Woman in the Well, 408 00:24:50,609 --> 00:24:53,700 Speaker 4: which is is not like really a family story. But 409 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:58,280 Speaker 4: in that story, the Lord really woke me up to see, 410 00:25:00,230 --> 00:25:06,150 Speaker 4: don't pray that he'll hit rock bottom. Pray that he'll 411 00:25:06,190 --> 00:25:10,970 Speaker 4: look up and have eyes to see, to see who 412 00:25:11,130 --> 00:25:13,190 Speaker 4: I really am and how much I love him and 413 00:25:14,010 --> 00:25:19,620 Speaker 4: how my way is actually better. And I realized that 414 00:25:19,660 --> 00:25:22,280 Speaker 4: when I was praying for my son to hit rock bottom, 415 00:25:22,300 --> 00:25:25,810 Speaker 4: I was really praying for him to, you know, kind 416 00:25:25,850 --> 00:25:28,290 Speaker 4: of like that, you know, the Job prayer of like, 417 00:25:28,410 --> 00:25:31,160 Speaker 4: just like, put him in the hands of the enemy 418 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,060 Speaker 4: and let the enemy do to him what he needs 419 00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:36,060 Speaker 4: to do so God can wake him up. And that's 420 00:25:36,180 --> 00:25:39,480 Speaker 4: not really what we want for our children. But we 421 00:25:39,540 --> 00:25:42,609 Speaker 4: want our children to see the Lord and to see 422 00:25:42,670 --> 00:25:45,929 Speaker 4: his love for them. And so by the end of 423 00:25:45,990 --> 00:25:52,350 Speaker 4: my journey and what my prayers now are, Lord, have 424 00:25:52,390 --> 00:25:57,230 Speaker 4: him look up, send someone to have a conversation with 425 00:25:57,290 --> 00:26:02,910 Speaker 4: him to open his eyes to new possibilities, to open 426 00:26:02,970 --> 00:26:06,100 Speaker 4: his eyes to see his true need for you. And 427 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:09,420 Speaker 4: that kind of came from the woman at the well, 428 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,680 Speaker 4: because it was, you know, it's almost like she's dialoguing 429 00:26:12,740 --> 00:26:18,800 Speaker 4: with Jesus. You know, she's like, you know, well, what 430 00:26:18,820 --> 00:26:20,399 Speaker 4: do I need you for? Like, why are you even 431 00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:22,180 Speaker 4: talking to me? I'm at the well and I got 432 00:26:22,220 --> 00:26:23,869 Speaker 4: a bucket and you got nothing, right? 433 00:26:23,970 --> 00:26:24,689 Speaker 3: I got a bucket. 434 00:26:25,410 --> 00:26:28,290 Speaker 4: And Jesus is like, yeah, but you're just going after 435 00:26:28,510 --> 00:26:33,210 Speaker 4: earthly water, right? That's going to temporarily satiate you. I 436 00:26:33,290 --> 00:26:37,189 Speaker 4: have the living water that's going to give you eternal satisfaction. 437 00:26:37,780 --> 00:26:42,369 Speaker 4: And so it was like, let him see that there's 438 00:26:42,430 --> 00:26:45,430 Speaker 4: holes in his bucket, right? The things that he's seeking 439 00:26:45,510 --> 00:26:49,030 Speaker 4: or that he thinks are bringing him satisfaction or bringing 440 00:26:49,070 --> 00:26:51,699 Speaker 4: him joy or bringing him fun or bringing him meaning 441 00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:57,140 Speaker 4: really are, are temporary and not going to provide for 442 00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:01,550 Speaker 4: him the, the deep things of his soul, right? He, 443 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:05,490 Speaker 4: he's thirst, make him thirsty for the living water. So 444 00:27:05,530 --> 00:27:12,190 Speaker 4: my prayers changed and, uh, It also changed me, Nicolette, 445 00:27:12,210 --> 00:27:15,470 Speaker 4: because when I began to pray for him to see 446 00:27:15,609 --> 00:27:21,420 Speaker 4: Jesus and for people to come in to open his eyes. 447 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:24,179 Speaker 4: I mean, only Jesus can truly open his eyes, but 448 00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:24,780 Speaker 4: you know what I mean? 449 00:27:25,460 --> 00:27:26,100 Speaker 1: Yes. 450 00:27:26,500 --> 00:27:29,700 Speaker 4: To speak truth into his life, to let him see 451 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:36,090 Speaker 4: new possibilities. That prayer just felt so much more hopeful than... 452 00:27:36,470 --> 00:27:39,990 Speaker 4: praying for him to hit rock bottom and waiting for 453 00:27:40,470 --> 00:27:43,400 Speaker 4: the shoe to drop and the crisis to erupt, right? 454 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,560 Speaker 3: It became a hope-filled. 455 00:27:47,180 --> 00:27:52,280 Speaker 4: Perspective rather than a brace myself for what has to 456 00:27:52,340 --> 00:27:55,160 Speaker 4: happen to get to the other side of this perspective. 457 00:27:55,900 --> 00:27:58,390 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. 458 00:27:58,990 --> 00:28:01,409 Speaker 2: Moving to that place of hope and our prayers is 459 00:28:01,450 --> 00:28:05,680 Speaker 2: so transformative. I think You are friends with Brooke McLaughlin, 460 00:28:05,700 --> 00:28:08,040 Speaker 2: who was the founder of Million Praying Moms, and that's 461 00:28:08,060 --> 00:28:10,500 Speaker 2: something that she talked a lot about is that our 462 00:28:10,540 --> 00:28:13,980 Speaker 2: prayers for our children don't just change our children. It 463 00:28:14,260 --> 00:28:17,040 Speaker 2: begins and it starts with us. The change happens in 464 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:20,270 Speaker 2: us when we submit to God and we release our 465 00:28:20,310 --> 00:28:23,630 Speaker 2: kids to Him again and again and again and again 466 00:28:23,750 --> 00:28:28,129 Speaker 2: and again. He begins to change our hearts. You know, 467 00:28:28,150 --> 00:28:30,050 Speaker 2: we're praying for things for our kids. We can see 468 00:28:30,090 --> 00:28:34,050 Speaker 2: in our own lives, the areas that we need Him 469 00:28:34,410 --> 00:28:37,129 Speaker 2: and where we need Him to work in our hearts. 470 00:28:37,690 --> 00:28:42,420 Speaker 2: And the change starts with us. And that's such a 471 00:28:43,900 --> 00:28:47,240 Speaker 2: hard place to be, but such a sweet place to be. 472 00:28:47,380 --> 00:28:50,160 Speaker 2: As you said, that place kind of shifts to a 473 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:52,420 Speaker 2: little bit more hope. 474 00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:56,140 Speaker 1: So, okay, Erica, I want to ask two more questions. 475 00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:59,090 Speaker 1: The first is, For. 476 00:28:58,780 --> 00:29:02,740 Speaker 2: A young mom like me who does not yet have 477 00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:08,520 Speaker 2: a wayward child, what prayers can I be praying now 478 00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:13,200 Speaker 2: for my children in how they are walking and how 479 00:29:13,260 --> 00:29:16,660 Speaker 2: they are growing? And then the second part of that 480 00:29:16,820 --> 00:29:20,880 Speaker 2: is for a woman who is in that season of 481 00:29:21,460 --> 00:29:24,620 Speaker 2: just feeling desperate for God to move on behalf of 482 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,340 Speaker 2: their family, what encouragement would you give? 483 00:29:29,010 --> 00:29:30,950 Speaker 4: That's a lot to hold on to. I might have 484 00:29:30,970 --> 00:29:32,290 Speaker 4: to do one part at a time. 485 00:29:32,310 --> 00:29:32,990 Speaker 3: Yes, one at a time. 486 00:29:40,190 --> 00:29:44,300 Speaker 4: That these are things like, oh man, if I knew, 487 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:50,180 Speaker 4: if I knew then what I know now, right? So 488 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:53,160 Speaker 4: when it talks about praying and you talked about how 489 00:29:53,180 --> 00:29:55,780 Speaker 4: it has to start with us, one of the things 490 00:29:55,820 --> 00:29:59,740 Speaker 4: we talk about in Loving Your Wayward Child is learning 491 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:04,370 Speaker 4: to respond to your child rather than to react to 492 00:30:04,410 --> 00:30:10,070 Speaker 4: your child. And I pretty openly and honestly share my 493 00:30:10,170 --> 00:30:16,229 Speaker 4: four reactions. These were my default reactions when my child 494 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:20,360 Speaker 4: was making choices I didn't like. These were not reactions 495 00:30:20,780 --> 00:30:25,080 Speaker 4: that started when he became 15 and started making. 496 00:30:28,180 --> 00:30:29,960 Speaker 3: Choices I really, really didn't like. 497 00:30:30,020 --> 00:30:34,460 Speaker 4: These were reactions that he had experienced from his mama, 498 00:30:34,580 --> 00:30:37,540 Speaker 4: you know, when he didn't clean his room at 12 and, 499 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:42,340 Speaker 4: you know, when he, you know, sass-mouthed at eight and 500 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:46,740 Speaker 4: when he, you know, lied about, you know, his behavior 501 00:30:46,780 --> 00:30:49,970 Speaker 4: at school at six, right? I mean, these were reactions 502 00:30:50,030 --> 00:30:53,510 Speaker 4: that I had carried into motherhood for many, many years. 503 00:30:54,210 --> 00:30:59,150 Speaker 4: And I won't go super long. But the one reaction 504 00:30:59,450 --> 00:31:03,980 Speaker 4: is to isolate. I always wanted to sort of paint 505 00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:07,820 Speaker 4: this picture that I wasn't struggling as a mom, that 506 00:31:09,380 --> 00:31:14,070 Speaker 4: maybe things were a little bit hard sometimes, but everything 507 00:31:14,150 --> 00:31:17,330 Speaker 4: essentially was good. And I didn't really let people in. 508 00:31:17,410 --> 00:31:20,270 Speaker 4: And I missed out on the opportunity to probably have 509 00:31:20,330 --> 00:31:27,820 Speaker 4: some really great mentorship into my mothering. And the second 510 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:33,310 Speaker 4: one is I would fixate or ruminate and just sort 511 00:31:33,330 --> 00:31:39,950 Speaker 4: of have an echo chamber in my head of just repeating, like, oh, 512 00:31:40,010 --> 00:31:42,150 Speaker 4: why did I say that? Why did I lose my temper? 513 00:31:42,230 --> 00:31:45,970 Speaker 4: Why was I so sarcastic? Why did I let that 514 00:31:45,990 --> 00:31:46,490 Speaker 4: hurt my feelings? 515 00:31:46,540 --> 00:31:46,760 Speaker 1: Yeah. 516 00:31:51,010 --> 00:31:54,950 Speaker 4: They're little, like he doesn't even know what he's saying, right? 517 00:31:55,540 --> 00:31:59,580 Speaker 4: And then I would manipulate and try to scheme and 518 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:02,160 Speaker 4: always sort of stay one step ahead of him to 519 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,380 Speaker 4: keep him out of trouble or keep him from making 520 00:32:05,580 --> 00:32:11,520 Speaker 4: a bad choice or wrong decision. And then I would 521 00:32:11,580 --> 00:32:15,360 Speaker 4: vacate or abdicate and I would run to other, because 522 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:20,510 Speaker 4: I felt like I was not a good mom. I 523 00:32:20,550 --> 00:32:24,170 Speaker 4: would run to other endeavors that would help me feel 524 00:32:24,210 --> 00:32:28,330 Speaker 4: better about myself. And I would abdicate some of my 525 00:32:28,430 --> 00:32:31,590 Speaker 4: influence in his life. And I bring up those reactions 526 00:32:31,690 --> 00:32:35,430 Speaker 4: because when you asked me how to pray, I would say, 527 00:32:35,450 --> 00:32:41,140 Speaker 4: I would start by having really honest conversations with the 528 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:46,720 Speaker 4: Lord of what are your reactions to your children, right? 529 00:32:46,740 --> 00:32:50,090 Speaker 4: Do you, If they do something in public and you 530 00:32:50,130 --> 00:32:55,530 Speaker 4: feel humiliated, do you just like totally lose it once 531 00:32:55,590 --> 00:33:00,260 Speaker 4: you all are in private because you're so consumed or 532 00:33:00,300 --> 00:33:02,200 Speaker 4: worried maybe about what other people think? 533 00:33:02,460 --> 00:33:03,600 Speaker 3: That was huge for me. 534 00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,240 Speaker 4: It was like, you know, if he misbehaved at home, 535 00:33:06,340 --> 00:33:10,050 Speaker 4: I could whatever, we'll work through that. But when he 536 00:33:10,090 --> 00:33:13,330 Speaker 4: would do something at church, I mean, I would just 537 00:33:13,390 --> 00:33:17,530 Speaker 4: want to die, right? And I would completely overreact or 538 00:33:17,550 --> 00:33:21,320 Speaker 4: I would blow it up and catastrophize it into this 539 00:33:21,420 --> 00:33:25,800 Speaker 4: massive thing. And so when you ask me, how should 540 00:33:26,180 --> 00:33:29,120 Speaker 4: I pray for my children as a young mom? I 541 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:34,000 Speaker 4: would start by saying, pray and ask the Lord what 542 00:33:34,060 --> 00:33:34,740 Speaker 4: he wants. 543 00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:35,400 Speaker 1: To heal in you. 544 00:33:36,060 --> 00:33:40,640 Speaker 4: To make you the most Christ-like version of a mama 545 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,580 Speaker 4: he wants to make you into. That's how I would 546 00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:48,770 Speaker 4: start praying if you're a young mama and examining how 547 00:33:48,810 --> 00:33:52,190 Speaker 4: do you react instead of you respond? Because those reactions 548 00:33:52,430 --> 00:33:55,410 Speaker 4: are rooted in something that the Lord wants to heal 549 00:33:55,430 --> 00:33:58,670 Speaker 4: in our own hearts. And I wish I would have 550 00:33:58,710 --> 00:34:04,280 Speaker 4: learned that so much sooner than I did. Um, The 551 00:34:04,340 --> 00:34:08,379 Speaker 4: second thing, what encouragement would I give to a mom 552 00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,739 Speaker 4: that is in this place of loving your wayward child? 553 00:34:10,780 --> 00:34:12,800 Speaker 3: Did I get it right, Nicolette? You got it right. 554 00:34:13,060 --> 00:34:16,740 Speaker 4: Okay, it's still pretty early in the day. The coffee 555 00:34:16,780 --> 00:34:18,300 Speaker 4: hasn't worn off yet, apparently. 556 00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:23,880 Speaker 3: I would give this encouragement. God is a. 557 00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:29,100 Speaker 4: God who communicates and God is a God who pursues. 558 00:34:32,190 --> 00:34:37,350 Speaker 4: And he might seem silent in this situation with your child. 559 00:34:37,430 --> 00:34:41,700 Speaker 4: You may not be able to see how he's working, 560 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:46,460 Speaker 4: but he is not absent and he has not stopped speaking. 561 00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:52,410 Speaker 4: And he is speaking to your child and he is 562 00:34:53,170 --> 00:34:56,810 Speaker 4: pursuing your child because that is the gospel story. The 563 00:34:56,850 --> 00:35:01,130 Speaker 4: whole gospel story, the entire Bible is the story of 564 00:35:01,210 --> 00:35:07,609 Speaker 4: a God who who speaks and reveals himself to broken, messy, 565 00:35:07,950 --> 00:35:15,540 Speaker 4: rebellious people and chases after our hearts to win us back, 566 00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:20,799 Speaker 4: to bring us home to him where we belong, to 567 00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,720 Speaker 4: open our eyes to see what is good and right, 568 00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:25,739 Speaker 4: not in our own eyes, but what is good and 569 00:35:25,780 --> 00:35:28,730 Speaker 4: right in the eyes of the Lord. And so even 570 00:35:28,810 --> 00:35:32,050 Speaker 4: though it may feel like you're in a season where 571 00:35:32,150 --> 00:35:34,549 Speaker 4: you've run out of words, you don't know what else 572 00:35:34,630 --> 00:35:37,820 Speaker 4: to say. You don't know what God is doing. It 573 00:35:38,380 --> 00:35:43,780 Speaker 4: seems like he's not doing anything. He is working and 574 00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:52,690 Speaker 4: it's never too late. So continue to pray, continue to trust. And, um, 575 00:35:53,870 --> 00:35:56,940 Speaker 4: You know, if you feel alone, I would definitely encourage 576 00:35:56,980 --> 00:35:59,600 Speaker 4: you to pick up a copy of Loving Your Wayward Child. 577 00:35:59,660 --> 00:36:03,799 Speaker 4: I think it will encourage you. And if you are 578 00:36:03,940 --> 00:36:07,850 Speaker 4: really at a place where you're like, I need to 579 00:36:07,930 --> 00:36:10,770 Speaker 4: find my people to get through this. I just don't 580 00:36:10,830 --> 00:36:16,140 Speaker 4: even know what to do. Connect with me on social media. 581 00:36:17,390 --> 00:36:21,319 Speaker 4: I'm putting together a conference called the Momentum Conference, and 582 00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:24,560 Speaker 4: it's happening out in Phoenix at the very, very end 583 00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:28,500 Speaker 4: of January. And we are going to come together as moms. 584 00:36:28,540 --> 00:36:29,340 Speaker 3: We're going to work. 585 00:36:29,180 --> 00:36:33,530 Speaker 4: Through the Pathways to Progress section in real time together 586 00:36:33,550 --> 00:36:39,330 Speaker 4: through Loving Your Wayward Child and give you some biblical 587 00:36:39,410 --> 00:36:45,170 Speaker 4: hope and practical help to keep moving forward in faith 588 00:36:45,790 --> 00:36:49,660 Speaker 4: and moving towards your child in the healthiest and holiest 589 00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:53,919 Speaker 4: way possible to begin to allow God to work His 590 00:36:54,020 --> 00:36:57,480 Speaker 4: redemption out in the story of your family. 591 00:36:57,640 --> 00:36:59,000 Speaker 3: And I would love to have you there. 592 00:37:00,700 --> 00:37:01,800 Speaker 1: Thank you for that, Erica. 593 00:37:01,820 --> 00:37:05,390 Speaker 2: We will put links to where you can find Erica 594 00:37:05,489 --> 00:37:08,850 Speaker 2: in our show notes and on our website. It has 595 00:37:08,890 --> 00:37:11,330 Speaker 2: been such a joy to get to have this conversation 596 00:37:11,370 --> 00:37:14,560 Speaker 2: with you. I thank you for your honesty and and 597 00:37:14,739 --> 00:37:19,359 Speaker 2: your vulnerability and sharing and just your willingness when you said, 598 00:37:19,860 --> 00:37:23,350 Speaker 2: God is a God who communicates. I just like took 599 00:37:23,390 --> 00:37:27,450 Speaker 2: a deep breath, like, thank you, Father, that you communicate 600 00:37:27,510 --> 00:37:29,690 Speaker 2: with us. And how often do we miss the ways 601 00:37:29,770 --> 00:37:32,630 Speaker 2: that he's speaking to us and talking to us and 602 00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:36,299 Speaker 2: and showing us Himself because we're busy and we're distracted 603 00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:38,319 Speaker 2: and we're in a hurry and we're moving from one 604 00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:41,169 Speaker 2: thing to the next as moms. And so today, maybe 605 00:37:41,210 --> 00:37:43,029 Speaker 2: that's just what you need to hear, that God is 606 00:37:43,090 --> 00:37:46,270 Speaker 2: communicating with you and He loves you and He is 607 00:37:46,350 --> 00:37:51,549 Speaker 2: speaking to you today. And maybe we could just end 608 00:37:51,610 --> 00:37:56,910 Speaker 2: by saying, Lord, we're listening, you know, speak to us. 609 00:37:56,989 --> 00:37:58,390 Speaker 3: We're We're listening. 610 00:37:58,510 --> 00:38:01,930 Speaker 2: Erica, would you do us the honor of praying for 611 00:38:02,030 --> 00:38:04,700 Speaker 2: our moms who are listening today as we close out? 612 00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:08,960 Speaker 4: I would be so honored. I would be so honored, Nicolette. Oh, 613 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:12,280 Speaker 4: Lord Jesus, we thank you. We thank you that you 614 00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:15,640 Speaker 4: left the glory of heaven and clothed yourself in human 615 00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:20,370 Speaker 4: flesh to come and communicate with us in real time. 616 00:38:21,590 --> 00:38:24,430 Speaker 4: in ways that we could understand, ways that we would 617 00:38:24,489 --> 00:38:26,950 Speaker 4: never be able to understand the depth of your love 618 00:38:27,030 --> 00:38:30,029 Speaker 4: if you had not come. And we thank you that 619 00:38:30,070 --> 00:38:33,460 Speaker 4: you came to draw us back to yourself through your 620 00:38:33,500 --> 00:38:38,500 Speaker 4: sacrifice on the cross, through your death and resurrection. And Lord, 621 00:38:38,540 --> 00:38:42,819 Speaker 4: you came because you chose to come and because you 622 00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:46,879 Speaker 4: love us. And as we wait for our children to 623 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:52,650 Speaker 4: choose you in return, no matter how old they are, Lord, 624 00:38:53,290 --> 00:38:58,550 Speaker 4: we wait in deep faith knowing that you desire that 625 00:38:58,650 --> 00:39:01,710 Speaker 4: for our children even more than we do. And we 626 00:39:01,770 --> 00:39:04,859 Speaker 4: can't always fathom that as moms, but you promise that 627 00:39:04,910 --> 00:39:10,160 Speaker 4: it's so in your word that you love the world. 628 00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:13,799 Speaker 4: You so love the world. And so, God, I pray 629 00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:17,620 Speaker 4: for every hurting mom out there who's waiting for her 630 00:39:17,700 --> 00:39:21,500 Speaker 4: child to come I pray that you would fill her 631 00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:25,239 Speaker 4: with hope that the story's not over, that you're not 632 00:39:25,300 --> 00:39:31,739 Speaker 4: done yet, that there are new mercies. every morning in 633 00:39:31,780 --> 00:39:35,180 Speaker 4: the depth of her greatest pain, Lord. And for maybe 634 00:39:35,219 --> 00:39:38,839 Speaker 4: the mom out there who her child's getting a little 635 00:39:38,860 --> 00:39:45,180 Speaker 4: bit older and she's just seeing some streaks of rebellion 636 00:39:45,260 --> 00:39:50,209 Speaker 4: and maybe it's just bringing some fear into her heart. Lord, 637 00:39:50,270 --> 00:39:52,410 Speaker 4: I pray that she would turn to you, that she 638 00:39:52,450 --> 00:39:54,050 Speaker 4: would hand that fear. 639 00:39:54,250 --> 00:39:55,060 Speaker 3: Over to you. 640 00:39:56,150 --> 00:39:59,790 Speaker 4: There's no greater place to put fear than into the 641 00:39:59,850 --> 00:40:02,610 Speaker 4: hands of the one who controls the end from the 642 00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:07,399 Speaker 4: beginning and the entire universe and every human heart. And so, Lord, 643 00:40:07,460 --> 00:40:09,799 Speaker 4: I pray that she would do that, that she would 644 00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:14,040 Speaker 4: seek you and seek the truth of your word, that 645 00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:18,259 Speaker 4: she can trust you with her children. Amen. And Lord, 646 00:40:18,300 --> 00:40:22,640 Speaker 4: I pray for every mom out there that is just 647 00:40:22,739 --> 00:40:26,300 Speaker 4: feeling a sense of worry or a sense of anxiety 648 00:40:26,930 --> 00:40:30,910 Speaker 4: or hopelessness, that you would be her peace, Jesus. That 649 00:40:31,010 --> 00:40:37,689 Speaker 4: she would sense your beautiful presence all around her, within her, 650 00:40:38,390 --> 00:40:41,730 Speaker 4: as she seeks your face in your word for you 651 00:40:41,830 --> 00:40:49,030 Speaker 4: to give her calming and healing truths. from your living 652 00:40:49,070 --> 00:40:52,330 Speaker 4: and active word, Lord. Be with our families. 653 00:40:52,450 --> 00:40:53,410 Speaker 1: Be with our children. 654 00:40:54,230 --> 00:40:57,380 Speaker 4: Show yourself as the redeemer and the lover of our 655 00:40:57,430 --> 00:40:59,200 Speaker 4: souls that you are, Lord Jesus. 656 00:40:59,430 --> 00:41:00,760 Speaker 3: It is in your name we pray. 657 00:41:01,260 --> 00:41:03,820 Speaker 2: Amen. Amen. Amen. 658 00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:08,120 Speaker 1: Thank you, Erica. And friends, we will see you back tomorrow. 659 00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,219 Speaker 2: My guess is that if you're here listening to the 660 00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:15,520 Speaker 2: Everyday Prayers podcast, you kind of care about praying for 661 00:41:15,739 --> 00:41:20,219 Speaker 2: your children. My newest book, Everyday Prayers for Moms, Praying 662 00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:23,560 Speaker 2: God's Word for Your Children from Newborn to Emptiness, is 663 00:41:23,739 --> 00:41:27,520 Speaker 2: a great resource for moms who desire to pray. 664 00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:28,340 Speaker 1: For their kids. 665 00:41:28,739 --> 00:41:30,150 Speaker 2: I don't know if you've ever looked up at the 666 00:41:30,230 --> 00:41:32,470 Speaker 2: end of the day and realized that you didn't pray 667 00:41:32,489 --> 00:41:36,629 Speaker 2: at all. So often we have this desire to pray. 668 00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:40,420 Speaker 2: But we may not know how to put that desire 669 00:41:40,660 --> 00:41:44,300 Speaker 2: in to practice. I'm learning in motherhood that my prayers 670 00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:47,200 Speaker 2: adapt and change based on the season that we're in 671 00:41:47,300 --> 00:41:47,960 Speaker 2: as a family. 672 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,280 Speaker 1: I'm also learning to give myself. 673 00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:55,030 Speaker 2: Grace in those different seasons. I know God isn't after perfect, 674 00:41:55,110 --> 00:41:59,610 Speaker 2: polished prayers. He's after my heart. And He's after yours, too. 675 00:42:00,310 --> 00:42:03,850 Speaker 2: So my plan is to be intentional, whatever that looks like. 676 00:42:04,030 --> 00:42:04,810 Speaker 1: In this season. 677 00:42:05,270 --> 00:42:06,750 Speaker 2: I hope that is your plan. 678 00:42:07,230 --> 00:42:07,569 Speaker 4: As well. 679 00:42:08,489 --> 00:42:11,950 Speaker 2: God sees our hearts. He's honored by our desire to 680 00:42:12,010 --> 00:42:15,810 Speaker 2: connect with Him. If you're feeling stuck in your prayer life, 681 00:42:16,150 --> 00:42:21,549 Speaker 2: I've got a new free download, a five-day prayer reset. 682 00:42:21,969 --> 00:42:26,509 Speaker 2: It's a great guide to help you get started, jump 683 00:42:26,570 --> 00:42:30,290 Speaker 2: back in, stay consistent, grow deeper in your prayers for 684 00:42:30,330 --> 00:42:33,390 Speaker 2: your kids. It's also a great tool to share with 685 00:42:33,780 --> 00:42:36,839 Speaker 2: with your friends or with your family members that may 686 00:42:36,910 --> 00:42:41,290 Speaker 2: be seeking to know God deeper in prayer as they're 687 00:42:41,469 --> 00:42:43,030 Speaker 2: wanting to pray for their kids. 688 00:42:43,050 --> 00:42:43,970 Speaker 1: I hope you will. 689 00:42:43,850 --> 00:42:48,350 Speaker 2: Grab your copy today at millionprayingmoms.com. We'll also put a 690 00:42:48,410 --> 00:42:53,180 Speaker 2: link in our show notes. Until next time, friends, may 691 00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:56,580 Speaker 2: the Lord bless you and keep you. Make His face 692 00:42:56,620 --> 00:42:59,940 Speaker 2: shine upon you and be gracious to you. May the 693 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:03,899 Speaker 2: Lord look with favor upon you. and give you his peace.