1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:03,600 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:10,080 Speaker 2: Our God is not confined to statistics. God loves you. 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,880 Speaker 2: God loves every person that he created. God loves me, 4 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:17,760 Speaker 2: God loves my husband. God does not want a dysfunctional 5 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:22,599 Speaker 2: relationship where you are being torn down. But I believe 6 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:25,640 Speaker 2: if you do surrender, such as I did, when you 7 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:28,880 Speaker 2: finally get to that point where you can truly, truly surrender, 8 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 2: He's there for you. 9 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,440 Speaker 3: Welcome to Love Life Sober. I'm your host and your coach, 10 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,600 Speaker 3: Christy Osborne. This podcast is for the woman who loves 11 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,600 Speaker 3: Jesus or is longing to reconnect with him, and who 12 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:44,680 Speaker 3: knows deep down that alcohol is no longer serving her. 13 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,800 Speaker 3: Here we talk honestly, with grace and truth about how 14 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 3: stepping away from alcohol opens the door to the love, joy, 15 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:55,720 Speaker 3: peace and connection you've been searching for. Because, Babe, those 16 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 3: things were never meant to be found in a bottle 17 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:02,120 Speaker 3: of wine. They're found in Jesus. Through scripture, coaching and neuroscience, 18 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,199 Speaker 3: I'll help you make sense of your habits, your nervous system, 19 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:08,400 Speaker 3: and what you're really craving so that freedom feels not 20 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:12,560 Speaker 3: only possible, but sustainable. You don't have to do this alone, Babe. 21 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 3: Let's dive in Hello, my beautiful friend, Welcome back to 22 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 3: the podcast. I really cannot wait for you to hear 23 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,760 Speaker 3: this beautiful testimony. 24 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:23,600 Speaker 1: With my friend Carol McCracken. 25 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:26,840 Speaker 3: You are going to literally just be hanging on the 26 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 3: edge of your seats. I am so excited for you 27 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 3: to listen to this one. But before we get started, 28 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 3: I just want to remind you that our June forty 29 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:39,400 Speaker 3: day Fast is coming up here in a few weeks. 30 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:44,800 Speaker 3: The space is opening up here soon as well. With 31 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,680 Speaker 3: the forty day Fast. This is going to be such 32 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 3: a good one because we have four coaches. We have myself, 33 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 3: Coach Rena, Coach Susan, and coach Maureen, all who have 34 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 3: been guests on this podcast, and if you haven't heard 35 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 3: their testimony yet, it is coming up. These women are 36 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 3: so incredible, they are such good coaches. I am so 37 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 3: blessed to get to do this fast with them. So 38 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 3: we're going to be having four calls a week. They 39 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:13,080 Speaker 3: will also be recorded. You're gonna get daily encouragement for 40 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,640 Speaker 3: six weeks. You're gonna have a team of fifteen Fast 41 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:20,359 Speaker 3: captains who are praying for you by name. And the 42 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 3: incredible transformation that have come out of these fasts every 43 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:28,959 Speaker 3: single time that we get to run one is just incredible. 44 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:32,440 Speaker 3: So if you'd like more information, the link is in 45 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,080 Speaker 3: the show notes. I would love to walk out six 46 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:39,640 Speaker 3: weeks of sobriety and freedom from alcohol with you. Let's 47 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:43,960 Speaker 3: introduce our guest today. Carol McCracken is a Bible study teacher, 48 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:48,680 Speaker 3: ministry leader, author, and an incredible podcast host who never 49 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:52,680 Speaker 3: imagined a struggle with alcohol would become part of her story. 50 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 3: From the outside, Carol looked like she had it all together. 51 00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 3: She served faithfully at church, but behind the scenes, stress 52 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 3: at home, parenting a child with special needs, and growing 53 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 3: tension in her marriage slowly turned wine into a coping tool. 54 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,680 Speaker 3: Carol shares the night she was pulled over, arrested, and 55 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 3: spent the night in jail, the moment her double life 56 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:16,960 Speaker 3: came crashing into the light, and the surrender that followed 57 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:20,440 Speaker 3: when she finally laid it all at the feet of Jesus. 58 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 3: What unfolds next is a story of true rejemption, freedom 59 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:29,400 Speaker 3: from cravings, a restored identity in Christ, and years later, 60 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:33,120 Speaker 3: a shocking and beautiful twist of restoration. 61 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 1: In her marriage. 62 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 3: I cannot wait for you guys to listen to her story. 63 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 3: If you ever thought if only the people at church knew, then, Babe, 64 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:45,920 Speaker 3: this episode is for you. Let's dive iny Carol, my 65 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,000 Speaker 3: new friend. 66 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:50,120 Speaker 1: How are you? I'm good? How are you? 67 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 3: Christie Good? I got to record on your podcast. Had 68 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 3: so much fun getting to know you. Tell the girls 69 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 3: who don't know you about your two podcasts. 70 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 2: Yes, be glad to the first one that you're referencing, 71 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 2: where you were a guest was. It's called Faith over 72 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 2: Fear because it's a lot of people that have been 73 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 2: through things, hard things and how you can get to 74 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 2: the other side one way or enough. That's a fun one. 75 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:17,560 Speaker 2: That's more of an interview style. And I'm also on 76 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 2: your Daily Bible Verse with a team of six of 77 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 2: us and we take a verse of the Bible and 78 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 2: break it. 79 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:25,080 Speaker 1: Down, tell how it's affected us. 80 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:28,400 Speaker 2: And it's an entirely different look at it, but we 81 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,880 Speaker 2: enjoy it. We enjoy exploring the Scripture together. 82 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:33,000 Speaker 1: Oh I love that. And you host Wednesday? 83 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 3: Right? 84 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 2: Is that right? 85 00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:35,400 Speaker 1: I'm the work House. 86 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:39,279 Speaker 3: We are both in the Life Audio family, So shout 87 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 3: out to our friends at Life Audio. I got to 88 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,880 Speaker 3: know you through you interviewing me and through our other 89 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,960 Speaker 3: mutual friend John Seidel, and I was listening to your 90 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 3: story and just like singing Hallelujah, just like, oh my gosh. 91 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:56,160 Speaker 3: I was so pumped to record with you today because 92 00:04:56,279 --> 00:04:59,760 Speaker 3: I just I know that your testimony is going to 93 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:04,039 Speaker 3: courage so many women, so many women, and you have 94 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:07,360 Speaker 3: an incredible story I would just love to start with. 95 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:11,159 Speaker 3: So you were leading Bible study, that's right in church. 96 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,599 Speaker 2: It's one of those things you know that you really think, oh, 97 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 2: that can't happen to me, that happens to other people. 98 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,039 Speaker 1: And I really believe that, you know. 99 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:24,280 Speaker 2: And I started really enjoying wine and beer in college 100 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 2: because I was free. I was in seventeen year old 101 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:31,520 Speaker 2: who had gone off to college, relatively naive, and discovered 102 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:35,119 Speaker 2: a love for three point two beer at the time. 103 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,360 Speaker 1: So it was just one of those things. 104 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,480 Speaker 2: There's a lot of alcoholics in my family, and it's 105 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:45,480 Speaker 2: not supposed to heat me. I was uneducated with it, 106 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:48,320 Speaker 2: and it started creeping up on me, creeping up on me, 107 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:52,799 Speaker 2: and I kind of struggled with it for years until yes, 108 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:57,640 Speaker 2: I am a Bible study teacher in a relatively small town, 109 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:00,479 Speaker 2: and it caught up with me because the Lord was 110 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:01,920 Speaker 2: ready to get my attention. 111 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:05,280 Speaker 3: Well, I think that women really relate to the different 112 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 3: reasons why we think that we like to drink. And 113 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:09,040 Speaker 3: in my book Love Life, So Bri, I talk about 114 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 3: the jobs that we give alcohol, and so one of 115 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,599 Speaker 3: the main jobs that you had given it, right was 116 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 3: to check out relieve the stress of having a son 117 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 3: right that was with special needs. 118 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,920 Speaker 1: Is that correct? That's exactly right. 119 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:26,159 Speaker 2: He's our only child, and my husband and I wanted 120 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:27,360 Speaker 2: only his good. 121 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:28,920 Speaker 1: You know, there was no rule book. 122 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:32,279 Speaker 2: He's got four different syndrome, he's got Osburgers, he's got 123 00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:35,200 Speaker 2: a mood disorder, which is really the main thing that 124 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:37,800 Speaker 2: was affecting us. I mean, his chemicals could drop out 125 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:41,040 Speaker 2: without warning at any time. So it was constantly walking 126 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:44,479 Speaker 2: on eggshells. Love that child more than life itself, I 127 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,240 Speaker 2: tell you. But he was difficult to raise and he 128 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:50,359 Speaker 2: realizes it too. But my husband and I kind of 129 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 2: disagreed on how we should handle his upbringing. So there 130 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 2: was tension to the marriage. We were both working outside 131 00:06:56,960 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 2: the home, continually surprised by our son's decision visions. Because 132 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 2: if you have Osberger's, you know, you kind of follow 133 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 2: a social script. You know, you might not know why 134 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:09,159 Speaker 2: you're responding, but you do it because you have to, 135 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:12,400 Speaker 2: Like you might not look in somebody's eyes, but you know, 136 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 2: gradually your script gets built and you can function. 137 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:15,960 Speaker 1: He was high functioning. 138 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:19,320 Speaker 2: Usually if he had to make a decision that he 139 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 2: didn't have the background for, he would make the wrong decision. 140 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 2: We had horrific things happening at home that we were 141 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 2: not equipped to deal with, and we got professional help, 142 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 2: which helped. 143 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:31,840 Speaker 1: We got him on some medication, so. 144 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,640 Speaker 2: He finally got to where he felt like he could 145 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:37,360 Speaker 2: control his behavior a little bit. But that stress was 146 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 2: there all the time, just waiting, waiting, waiting. We just 147 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 2: got tired of feeling, and so my husband and I 148 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:48,480 Speaker 2: both increased our alcohol uptake because we just kind of 149 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 2: wanted those feelings to stop. I drank chardonnay, and I 150 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 2: didn't fall into the typical what you would consider alcoholic 151 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:00,480 Speaker 2: label because I didn't drink every night. So that is 152 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 2: my guide. I'm like, no, I'm good, I'm good. But 153 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:08,560 Speaker 2: it became troublesome, and alcohol is a progressive disease, and 154 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,840 Speaker 2: I didn't understand that. I went to my pastor when 155 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:14,680 Speaker 2: I finally realized that alcohol was occupying a little too 156 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:17,360 Speaker 2: much in my life. But like I said, you know, 157 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 2: I wasn't defined as an alcoholic by your traditional standards 158 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 2: at the time. I'm fourteen years sober, so at that time, 159 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 2: alcoholics anonymous was really the only answer that I was 160 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:30,600 Speaker 2: aware of. Yeah, And I went to my pastor and 161 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,520 Speaker 2: I'm like, Okay, I think I'm having this problem. I 162 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 2: think I need to take next steps, and he's like 163 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:40,480 Speaker 2: Carol Ay, and he is really a big step. 164 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:43,080 Speaker 1: I just I don't think you need to do that. 165 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:48,120 Speaker 2: So I'm like Scar, you know, like Freney, I'm not 166 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:52,480 Speaker 2: labeled like that, which was a huge mistake in my life. 167 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:53,640 Speaker 1: I should have attended to it. 168 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:56,880 Speaker 2: Then I continued on, and I continued on, and here's 169 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,280 Speaker 2: to the embarrassing. 170 00:08:59,160 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: I was dry. 171 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,559 Speaker 2: My husband and I were getting ready to have company 172 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 2: at the house, and I was feeling stressed. I needed 173 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:11,080 Speaker 2: more wine. I thought, to stop these this anxiety was 174 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,160 Speaker 2: just building, building building, and we were going to have 175 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,040 Speaker 2: company and I didn't need to be anxious. 176 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:16,840 Speaker 1: So I decided to go get more wine. 177 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:21,280 Speaker 2: So I got the car and I discovered who I 178 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:25,640 Speaker 2: really should not be driving, and so I pulled over. 179 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,520 Speaker 2: Luckily that was my saving grace. I pulled over. But 180 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:33,080 Speaker 2: lo and behold they were blue flashing lights in my 181 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:37,200 Speaker 2: back window and they were for me. And so I 182 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:45,240 Speaker 2: suffered the humiliation of walking the walk of being taken 183 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:46,719 Speaker 2: and fingerprinted. 184 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:51,160 Speaker 1: And I had to stay in lock up. 185 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:55,920 Speaker 2: Overnight, and I had a literal come to Jesus meeting 186 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:59,440 Speaker 2: that night as I'm sitting there and all my mess 187 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,520 Speaker 2: and just think and what has this come to? 188 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 1: And the Lord. 189 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,560 Speaker 2: I didn't hear a verbal voice or anything, but just 190 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:09,080 Speaker 2: kind of a tug in my spirit, and the Lord's like, so, 191 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:15,360 Speaker 2: how's life going your way? You ready to listen? And 192 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 2: I had to surrender. I had to be embarrassed. I 193 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 2: had to realize that, without a doubt, it was out 194 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:23,640 Speaker 2: of control. 195 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, and how many people? It was like five people 196 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,760 Speaker 3: right had like run the police. 197 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 2: It's that exciting the Bible study teachers out, you know, 198 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:36,720 Speaker 2: and it's kind of like, oh. 199 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:37,960 Speaker 1: My Lord, they didn't know who I was. 200 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,320 Speaker 2: But to your point, I found out later that five 201 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,760 Speaker 2: people had called in due to my erratic driving. But 202 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,439 Speaker 2: the Lord protects fools, thank goodness. Yeah, But the Lord 203 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:49,280 Speaker 2: was good and he knows me. The Lord knows me 204 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:52,640 Speaker 2: so well because I knew that I needed to take 205 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,160 Speaker 2: a hit in my pride. 206 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:56,280 Speaker 3: And he was with you even just right. You ended 207 00:10:56,360 --> 00:11:00,160 Speaker 3: up like not even actually getting getting to you. I am, and. 208 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,560 Speaker 1: I got nothing. I was terrified. 209 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:07,840 Speaker 2: I was terrified, terrified, terrified, had a lawyer, had to 210 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:10,200 Speaker 2: go to court, had to sit there, and of course 211 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:13,080 Speaker 2: I think everybody's looking at me. I'm so ashamed. I 212 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,560 Speaker 2: was so consumed with the shame. 213 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 1: I felt worthless. 214 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:19,840 Speaker 2: And I saw my lawyer go up and he talked 215 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,840 Speaker 2: to one of the policemen. Then they went up and 216 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:25,599 Speaker 2: they talked to the judge and the judge goes Carol McCracken, 217 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 2: and I had to go down. I was hanging my 218 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,720 Speaker 2: head and I was like, yeah, it was awful. It 219 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:34,720 Speaker 2: was just what I needed, though it really was. Judge said, Carol, 220 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:38,360 Speaker 2: you have a good record, You've never done this before. 221 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,760 Speaker 2: I don't want you to ever do it again. 222 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:42,800 Speaker 1: You're just missed. 223 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 2: I got all bail money refunded, and I walked out 224 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 2: knowing I had to do something. 225 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:51,400 Speaker 1: There wasn't to mark on my record. 226 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,760 Speaker 3: That is so wild. 227 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:57,079 Speaker 2: The Lord gave me a second chance that I didn't deserve. 228 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,800 Speaker 2: I didn't bargain with God, but since he gave me 229 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:02,080 Speaker 2: a second chance. I don't want to do anything to 230 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 2: mess it up. So I went to a friend because 231 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 2: I didn't know what to do. I was not aware 232 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:10,199 Speaker 2: of the education like there is today. And that's why 233 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 2: I'm here, because there's so much education, so many cool 234 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,400 Speaker 2: people that I've met that have experienced the same problem, 235 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:19,160 Speaker 2: and the isolation I was dealing with was not helpful. 236 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:23,280 Speaker 2: And so I worked long and hard for about a 237 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 2: year and I took the twelve step program approach and 238 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 2: it worked for me. 239 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:32,959 Speaker 3: We'll be back right after a quick word from our sponsors. Yeah, 240 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I mean, hallelujah for the second chances. 241 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:37,080 Speaker 1: Right. 242 00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 3: I remember you saying you were getting arrested and you 243 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,360 Speaker 3: were like, you don't know who I am, which I like, 244 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:44,480 Speaker 3: I mean, it's. 245 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:48,200 Speaker 1: So relatable, it's so relatable. It's just like, this cannot 246 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:50,800 Speaker 1: be happening to me. Do you know who I'm? The 247 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:58,280 Speaker 1: Bible study teacher. Teachers don't get arrested, come out. But 248 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:02,199 Speaker 1: yet again, just what I needed. 249 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,280 Speaker 2: But the Lord was there and it was just it 250 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:07,040 Speaker 2: just struck me how far pride goes and how humbled 251 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,920 Speaker 2: that I needed to be. And the Lord got me 252 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,680 Speaker 2: in my vanity. But that was just exactly the right 253 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,520 Speaker 2: thing to do. I needed it. 254 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:18,439 Speaker 3: Talk to the woman who is serving in church, because 255 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,959 Speaker 3: I've heard this before too of gals, and it breaks 256 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,560 Speaker 3: my heart who are serving on the worship team or 257 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:29,480 Speaker 3: leading in some capacity and have stepped down because they're like, 258 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,559 Speaker 3: I'm leading this double life and I don't feel like I. 259 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:33,640 Speaker 1: Should be leading. 260 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:38,120 Speaker 3: But my point kind of being is that duplicitous feeling 261 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:42,320 Speaker 3: of living one way in secret and then showing up 262 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:45,920 Speaker 3: to church to be a leader in some way? 263 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,720 Speaker 1: What did that feel like? It was terrible. 264 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,360 Speaker 2: It is one of those things you're fighting with you 265 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:57,200 Speaker 2: in yourself almost because I felt that in order to 266 00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:00,320 Speaker 2: teach Bible study you had to have some degree of 267 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,240 Speaker 2: authority in which people knew you knew and study the 268 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:06,080 Speaker 2: scriptures and knew what you were talking about. Therefore, in 269 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,080 Speaker 2: the corporate world where I came up, you know, you 270 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:11,120 Speaker 2: never let them see you shake. You power through your 271 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,520 Speaker 2: cage isn't rattled. You fake it till you make it. 272 00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 2: So that's the only tool I had to equip myself 273 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:18,880 Speaker 2: with it. So I thought, Okay, this is not a 274 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:21,720 Speaker 2: Bible study teacher. Should not drink, should not be out 275 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:26,440 Speaker 2: of control. How are they supposed to handle other people 276 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,640 Speaker 2: if they can't handle themselves. 277 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:32,160 Speaker 1: And that was the most erroneous. 278 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:37,200 Speaker 2: Conclusion that I had jumped to, because everybody's got something christy, 279 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:41,160 Speaker 2: whether it's alcohol or something. And if God has given 280 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 2: you leadership skills administration skills, he wants you to use them. 281 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 2: Now you can also lead people astray. So don't get 282 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 2: me wrong. You've got to definitely put checks and balances 283 00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,720 Speaker 2: in your teaching and leading. So I mean, if you 284 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,840 Speaker 2: do have to step down at some point, maybe you do. 285 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:00,160 Speaker 1: I'm not arguing that. 286 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:04,680 Speaker 2: However, that doesn't mean you have to step away permanently. 287 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,760 Speaker 2: And in my case, what I did, I finally got 288 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:09,680 Speaker 2: to the point where I'm like, I can't wrestle with 289 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,880 Speaker 2: myself anymore. I just knew that I was going to 290 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 2: be ostracized. I did not deserve to be there. But 291 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,640 Speaker 2: let me tell you that's the point. None of us deserved, 292 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:22,360 Speaker 2: but yet we're called to it. So I happened to 293 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 2: go into my Bible study class ready to step down, 294 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 2: and I'm like, I've got to tell you what's happened. 295 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,840 Speaker 2: I'm sure you've heard it by now. It's a small 296 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,800 Speaker 2: town but I confess to you that I have this problem. 297 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,560 Speaker 2: I'm working on it now. Thank you for your time. 298 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:39,840 Speaker 2: They basically put their hands on me. They laid hands 299 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,400 Speaker 2: on me and prayed for me. And they said, you 300 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:47,960 Speaker 2: have no idea how much more approachable you are now. 301 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:51,520 Speaker 2: We shouldn't be on a pedestal. We do not deserve 302 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,880 Speaker 2: to be a pedestal. When you look up, you should 303 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:58,720 Speaker 2: see God, not the person. And so they said, because 304 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:02,040 Speaker 2: of that, we support continue to pray for you working 305 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,200 Speaker 2: on it. But you've got a gift, and we would 306 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:06,240 Speaker 2: really prefer if you would keep using it. 307 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:07,800 Speaker 1: I love that so much. 308 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:12,320 Speaker 3: I interviewed John Elmore, who is the pastor down in Waco, 309 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 3: and one of the things that he said in his book, 310 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:17,000 Speaker 3: which I thought was so powerful, is of all his 311 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:20,040 Speaker 3: degrees and different jobs, right, the thing that makes him 312 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 3: the most relatable is his alcohol story. Right. 313 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,520 Speaker 1: Of all the things like that we've done in. 314 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:28,520 Speaker 3: Our life, feathers in our cap, this is the thing 315 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,440 Speaker 3: that it will relate to women. 316 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:32,360 Speaker 1: Is this struggle of ours. 317 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 2: Yes, And it's one thing that I really tried with 318 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,560 Speaker 2: willpower to get through it. 319 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:40,880 Speaker 1: I tried everything I could. You know, you can't do it. 320 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 1: On your own. 321 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,880 Speaker 2: No, you just can't. God created us for community. I 322 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:48,160 Speaker 2: firmly believe that. And the more transparent we can be. Now, 323 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,120 Speaker 2: I'm not saying go up and go high, nice to meet, 324 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 2: even throw up all your stuff on somebody, not it 325 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,600 Speaker 2: at all, but you have people that you can confess 326 00:16:56,640 --> 00:17:00,680 Speaker 2: to people that I deliberately made myself accountable. 327 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:01,280 Speaker 3: Yeah. 328 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,920 Speaker 2: The reason I put it out there is because it 329 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,680 Speaker 2: freed me. Because if somebody saw me in a position 330 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:08,800 Speaker 2: that I shouldn't be in, I want them to call 331 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:13,680 Speaker 2: me on it because I'd live in freedom now. I 332 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,679 Speaker 2: don't want to give up that freedom. I feel so 333 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:20,119 Speaker 2: much better without alcohol, and it just killed me because 334 00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:23,160 Speaker 2: I thought I can't give up alcohol. I don't want 335 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:27,600 Speaker 2: to do it. I've earned this, but it entrapped me. 336 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,360 Speaker 2: I don't want to live that way. And I'll tell 337 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,840 Speaker 2: you a big blessing that I did have is for 338 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,760 Speaker 2: all the fighting that I did to overcome that was 339 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,919 Speaker 2: a burden I was not meant to carry alone in 340 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:45,280 Speaker 2: When I surrendered, the Lord took my craving away. Yeah, 341 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,560 Speaker 2: not a medium. He did not just wave a wand 342 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,520 Speaker 2: I had work to do. I want to be real 343 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,639 Speaker 2: about that. I do not crave it. I do not 344 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,439 Speaker 2: miss it now, and I really strive to be in 345 00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,440 Speaker 2: that position and never made it on my own. 346 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,399 Speaker 3: Yeah, I hear the woman because I get this question 347 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,800 Speaker 3: a lot. How long did it take, Carol for you 348 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:06,680 Speaker 3: the cravings to. 349 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:10,840 Speaker 2: Go There's a body change, a physiological thing that you 350 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,800 Speaker 2: have to go through, you know all the science. Because 351 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,679 Speaker 2: it wasn't easy. I wanted it for quite some time, 352 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:19,880 Speaker 2: and I can remember. The weirdest thing is I would 353 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:23,840 Speaker 2: dream about it, have these dreams, and I would be 354 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:26,600 Speaker 2: so mad at myself that I'm in my dream I 355 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,080 Speaker 2: would drink. I made the vision to drink, and then 356 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:32,320 Speaker 2: I would be so mad and upset with myself. 357 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,440 Speaker 1: And then I would wake up. 358 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:38,359 Speaker 2: And I'd be like, oh, dear Jesus, didn't oh my 359 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:43,440 Speaker 2: exactly exactly. I went to the programs where I can 360 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:46,440 Speaker 2: remember what they call as an old timer. There somebody 361 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:48,720 Speaker 2: that continued to go to the meetings. I'd had a 362 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,480 Speaker 2: terrible day because there was more than in my life. 363 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:55,360 Speaker 2: Drinking was just a symptom, you know, it's not the problem. 364 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,199 Speaker 2: Old timer looked at me because I was having a 365 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:01,679 Speaker 2: really bad day, and he's like, Carol, like what and 366 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:02,800 Speaker 2: he goes, We're having a. 367 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:05,919 Speaker 1: Bad day, aren't you. I'm like, yeah, I am. And 368 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:07,119 Speaker 1: he's like, did you drink? 369 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,439 Speaker 2: And I said no, I didn't, and he goes, girl, 370 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:14,320 Speaker 2: then you are having a good day. Love it. 371 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 1: Okay, there's a little perspective. Thank you. I love that. 372 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:24,119 Speaker 3: We'll be back right after a quick word from our sponsors. Hey, babe, 373 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 3: let me just pause us for one second because I 374 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,000 Speaker 3: want to let you know that sign ups are now 375 00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:34,040 Speaker 3: open for our June forty day Alcohol Fast, which is 376 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:37,080 Speaker 3: going to go through my book Love Life Sober for 377 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:41,560 Speaker 3: six weeks in our private off of all social media community. 378 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,160 Speaker 3: There's going to be four coaches and four calls a week. 379 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,920 Speaker 3: If you can't make the calls live, they will be recorded. 380 00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:53,280 Speaker 3: We are opening up this very special private space within 381 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:57,960 Speaker 3: the Love Life Sober community on May twenty first. Coaching 382 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,040 Speaker 3: will start on June first and go through July i 383 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 3: tenth for six weeks. There will be daily encouragement in 384 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:08,480 Speaker 3: that space. You will be led by myself again, these 385 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:12,199 Speaker 3: three other amazing coaches, as well as a team of 386 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,960 Speaker 3: our Fast captains who have found freedom from alcohol through 387 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,320 Speaker 3: Love Life Sober. We are so excited about this summer fast. 388 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:21,800 Speaker 3: If you'd like to join us, you can do so 389 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,760 Speaker 3: at the link in the show notes. I can't wait 390 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,280 Speaker 3: to meet you. I can't wait to walk these six 391 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 3: weeks for you. It's going to be a really, really 392 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:31,760 Speaker 3: good one. So head to the link if you would 393 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:35,000 Speaker 3: like to sign up, and I will see you on 394 00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 3: June first. So let's go back to the jail cell. 395 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 3: When you came out. Was where was your marriage at 396 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:42,399 Speaker 3: that point? 397 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,160 Speaker 1: It was bad? It was very bad. 398 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,960 Speaker 2: We're hanging out. I don't believe in divorce. I believe, 399 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:48,879 Speaker 2: you know, you make your bed, you should lie in it. 400 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,040 Speaker 2: My parents were married forever. You make vows, I think 401 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 2: that you should honor your vows. 402 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,040 Speaker 1: But we just it was bad. 403 00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:00,439 Speaker 2: I genuinely believe that my my husband thought that I 404 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:04,639 Speaker 2: woke up and planned how I was gonna use my 405 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:08,080 Speaker 2: rage on him. You know, it sounds stupid, but that's 406 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:11,040 Speaker 2: how it felt. Was terrible. It was not in a 407 00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:14,120 Speaker 2: good place at that point in time. And the humiliating 408 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,440 Speaker 2: aspect of it is my mom and my husband posted 409 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:21,639 Speaker 2: my bail. Okay, remember Bible study teacher. So I walk out. 410 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:23,560 Speaker 2: I'm not even sure how I'm going to get home. 411 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,000 Speaker 2: You know this is not my practice. I don't know 412 00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:30,199 Speaker 2: what one gets out of jail, okay. And there is 413 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:35,439 Speaker 2: my mom and my husband standing there, and I'm just like, 414 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:41,560 Speaker 2: I am a worthless piece of human being ever. And 415 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,760 Speaker 2: my husband looked me in the eye and he said, 416 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,360 Speaker 2: I can't keep on with this, and I'm like, this 417 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,240 Speaker 2: is bad. I never thought it would be this bad. 418 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:53,119 Speaker 2: And so it was rock bottom for me. And I 419 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,760 Speaker 2: know he has a rock bottom. But everything that I 420 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 2: knew to be true and right was wrong. 421 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:03,000 Speaker 3: Yeah. And then at that point, the Bible teacher that 422 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:04,200 Speaker 3: doesn't believe in divorce. 423 00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:05,960 Speaker 1: What happened next? 424 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:09,920 Speaker 2: My seventeen year old son looked at me and said, 425 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:13,120 Speaker 2: winning in a divorce, Dad, that was awful. 426 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:15,560 Speaker 1: And he was living. 427 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,440 Speaker 2: You know, if you've got somebody with several My son 428 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,919 Speaker 2: needed calm, he needed peace, he needed regulation, and he 429 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,399 Speaker 2: was not getting that at home. And so my husband 430 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,280 Speaker 2: and I decided to divorce and we did, and that 431 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 2: separation ultimately was what we needed. We had to cool off, 432 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,040 Speaker 2: and little did we both know, we both went off 433 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:39,480 Speaker 2: to better ourselves and we needed to be separate to 434 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:42,760 Speaker 2: do that sort of thing. So the casualty of all 435 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:47,080 Speaker 2: of this was our marriage and then what happened about 436 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:52,959 Speaker 2: what ten years later? This is my favorite part. I 437 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:56,160 Speaker 2: can't even believe that it's true. But God is a 438 00:22:56,240 --> 00:23:00,480 Speaker 2: god of redemption. Okay, So I'm feeling pretty good about 439 00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:03,240 Speaker 2: myself at this point. You know, I'd done a lot 440 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:06,080 Speaker 2: of work. I knew who I was in Christ, I'm 441 00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:10,280 Speaker 2: in a much healthier position. And my son did something 442 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:13,840 Speaker 2: that for privacy purposes, and that's not germane to the story, 443 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,720 Speaker 2: but it was something that I needed to tell my 444 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:19,680 Speaker 2: husband about ex husband at the time. So we went 445 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,560 Speaker 2: to dinner and I said, I've just got to talk 446 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,560 Speaker 2: to you, and you know, I walked into that restaurant, 447 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:25,480 Speaker 2: we just saw each other. 448 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:26,560 Speaker 1: We just started crying. 449 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:31,919 Speaker 2: It was It wasn't sweet, it was ugly crying, but 450 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:32,920 Speaker 2: it was good. 451 00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:34,000 Speaker 1: It was good. 452 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,720 Speaker 2: And so he had done a lot of work on himself, 453 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:40,240 Speaker 2: and so we just began to spend more time together 454 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,959 Speaker 2: and more time together. I mean, we were together for 455 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:47,119 Speaker 2: twenty six years. I grew up on the man, you know, 456 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:52,359 Speaker 2: he was a human being together. And then he had 457 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:55,040 Speaker 2: he being my husband, had some physical issues and had 458 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,240 Speaker 2: to go to the hospital which required him to get 459 00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:02,320 Speaker 2: a feeding to and so he stayed with me for well, 460 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:05,960 Speaker 2: I kept a dog for forty days, but he stayed 461 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:09,000 Speaker 2: with me and recovered from the feeding to and it 462 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:13,119 Speaker 2: wasn't so bad. And so then because we enjoyed time 463 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,639 Speaker 2: together again, and you begin to think, Wow, maybe I 464 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,800 Speaker 2: wasn't so stupid to say I do. 465 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,200 Speaker 1: I feel much better about this. 466 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:24,000 Speaker 2: And he asked me to marry him again, and I 467 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:24,840 Speaker 2: said yes. 468 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:29,240 Speaker 1: So last year at Christmas, we remarried. Oh my god, 469 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:35,040 Speaker 1: God is so good. I can't even believe my own story. Christie. 470 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:38,000 Speaker 1: He is. He is a good God. He is such 471 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:38,639 Speaker 1: a good God. 472 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,440 Speaker 3: And when I just heard that, I was like, oh 473 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:43,560 Speaker 3: my gosh, I'm so excited for all the women in 474 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:49,000 Speaker 3: the community to hear this, because I'm constantly saying God 475 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:51,919 Speaker 3: loves marriage and he is a God of restoration. 476 00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:56,320 Speaker 2: Truly, I'm living proof of it, and I never believed 477 00:24:56,320 --> 00:25:00,760 Speaker 2: it would happen. You have to surrender. You just have 478 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,479 Speaker 2: to surrender, and you have to be okay with whatever 479 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:04,320 Speaker 2: God decides. 480 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,760 Speaker 1: And if you can do that, you're halfway there. 481 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 3: Part of the reason I resonate so much of your 482 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,159 Speaker 3: story is because I feel like I was only a 483 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:16,080 Speaker 3: few steps behind you in like something like that happening, 484 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:19,840 Speaker 3: if that makes sense, especially with the marriage piece of it. 485 00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:22,200 Speaker 3: Like I didn't think there was definitely a point where 486 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,119 Speaker 3: I was like, oh, yeah, no, we're not going to 487 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:27,560 Speaker 3: make it because of the fighting and trying to raise 488 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:31,479 Speaker 3: kids and drinking and not remembering what we were fighting about. 489 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,840 Speaker 3: And God's just so good in again the redemption and 490 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,520 Speaker 3: the restoration of it all. Can you encourage that woman though, 491 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 3: who is either afraid of her marriage ending to drinking 492 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,840 Speaker 3: or her marriage maybe not being the same because she 493 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 3: stops and that's the thing that connects them. I'm going 494 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:53,280 Speaker 3: to be perfectly honest with you. 495 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:58,000 Speaker 2: When I was going through my twelve step program, they 496 00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:01,160 Speaker 2: told us fifty percent of the marriage will not make it, 497 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:06,320 Speaker 2: and it is because you change and one person doesn't 498 00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:11,800 Speaker 2: want to change. But our God is not confined to statistics. 499 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:16,440 Speaker 2: God loves you, God loves every person that he created. 500 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:20,320 Speaker 2: God loves me, God loves my husband. God does not 501 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:24,560 Speaker 2: want a dysfunctional relationship where you are being torn down. 502 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:28,919 Speaker 2: But I believe if you do surrender, such as I did, 503 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,160 Speaker 2: when you finally get to that point where you can 504 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:35,760 Speaker 2: truly truly surrender, He's there for you. It will catch 505 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,800 Speaker 2: you and you have to be okay with him and 506 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:43,919 Speaker 2: his plan for you, and that you may encourage marriage again, 507 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:47,240 Speaker 2: and it may not encourage marriage again. God doesn't want 508 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:49,639 Speaker 2: something that's just going to tear you down again in 509 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:54,200 Speaker 2: a dysfunctional relationship. However, You've made vows and you want 510 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,720 Speaker 2: to honor them. So I don't know if this is 511 00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:01,159 Speaker 2: encouragement or not. But if you still with it, God 512 00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:06,400 Speaker 2: wants your good. God has not brought you this far 513 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:11,160 Speaker 2: to leave behind and you just it's a stick touitiveness, 514 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,400 Speaker 2: stick to God no matter what. He has a plan 515 00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:16,480 Speaker 2: for you, hate me, require you to do some work. 516 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,440 Speaker 2: He may be separating you so the other person can 517 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:24,240 Speaker 2: do some work. Yeah, so many different probabilities that equal 518 00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,399 Speaker 2: a whole and happy marriage. 519 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:28,679 Speaker 1: But I do know God loves marriage. 520 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,719 Speaker 2: I know I'm going back and forth, but that's just 521 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:35,320 Speaker 2: because God has a unique plan for each and every 522 00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:37,240 Speaker 2: one of us his creation. 523 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, and ultimately it's about trusting Him, which is really 524 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:41,919 Speaker 3: really hard sometimes. 525 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:43,480 Speaker 1: Yes it is. 526 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:47,119 Speaker 2: Let's face it, we as women like control. That's a 527 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:50,840 Speaker 2: broad statement. Look at the Mary and Martha thing in 528 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:54,040 Speaker 2: the Bible. You know, Martha didn't do anything wrong in 529 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:54,560 Speaker 2: the Bible. 530 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,160 Speaker 1: She just lost focus. 531 00:27:56,520 --> 00:28:00,000 Speaker 2: She was trying to make a better environment when Jesus 532 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,359 Speaker 2: this was the best thing, and we can all learn 533 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,239 Speaker 2: from that. We try to control our environments, raise our 534 00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:09,240 Speaker 2: children to be godly children, work, give it all to God, 535 00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:12,040 Speaker 2: that sort of thing. But we can lose tracks so 536 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:15,880 Speaker 2: easily in the details and trying to make it perfect 537 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,879 Speaker 2: for God that we miss God himself and all once. 538 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:25,560 Speaker 3: Is us one hundred percent, And living free from alcohol 539 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:29,560 Speaker 3: gives us that opportunity and that clarity to be able 540 00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,720 Speaker 3: to focus on him. Right. I was so unclear and 541 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:36,919 Speaker 3: so far removed and not even remotely focused on him 542 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:38,920 Speaker 3: when I was drinking. I was raised in church, but 543 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,560 Speaker 3: I was not. I mean, you are know my story, 544 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,360 Speaker 3: but I wasn't the Bible school teacher, right, Like I 545 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:46,160 Speaker 3: was kind of showing up every once in a while 546 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,400 Speaker 3: on Sunday and thinking I was good because I grew 547 00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:52,600 Speaker 3: up in church, you know, and I was alone, trust me, 548 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:57,000 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, talk a little bit about what it took 549 00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:01,000 Speaker 3: and how Jesus showed up for you, like the shame 550 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:03,960 Speaker 3: piece of it all, and like how long it took 551 00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,520 Speaker 3: for that to lose its grip. 552 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,520 Speaker 1: It took a while. It definitely took a while. 553 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:14,560 Speaker 2: I think it took a good year for me personally 554 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,720 Speaker 2: because I had done things I never thought that I 555 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:21,760 Speaker 2: would do. I was not myself. I made stupid decisions, 556 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:25,719 Speaker 2: My judgment was compromised. Everything around me was falling apart. 557 00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:30,240 Speaker 2: Everything I thought I was was not. But in that part, 558 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,640 Speaker 2: it's almost like, I don't know if you've heard of 559 00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:37,040 Speaker 2: the analogy of restoring furniture. The piece is good, the 560 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:42,400 Speaker 2: piece is strong. It might be falling apart, but you 561 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:46,760 Speaker 2: take things and you rub off that paint, You rub 562 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,880 Speaker 2: off what is on it to make it into something new, 563 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,840 Speaker 2: to make it something better, But the bones of it 564 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:54,880 Speaker 2: are still there. 565 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,120 Speaker 1: And that's what he had to do to me. 566 00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:01,400 Speaker 2: God had to work with me to get rid of 567 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:04,680 Speaker 2: the shameful parts, the shame with in me. God had 568 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:09,560 Speaker 2: forgiven me, but I still tried to earn his love. 569 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:13,560 Speaker 2: I thought that I was not good enough. I didn't 570 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:17,800 Speaker 2: realize that until looking in hindsight how my behavior was. 571 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:22,920 Speaker 2: I didn't feel redeemable. I didn't feel worthy. You have 572 00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:27,640 Speaker 2: to work through. It's time, as much hate it sometimes 573 00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:31,560 Speaker 2: time looking at the scriptures, look at truths, at what 574 00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:33,880 Speaker 2: God really says about you. 575 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:35,720 Speaker 1: He is hind God. 576 00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:40,520 Speaker 2: He's got ever loving kindness, He loves his creation. 577 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:42,160 Speaker 1: God will never go away. 578 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,040 Speaker 2: No matter how deep, no matter how high, nothing can 579 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,800 Speaker 2: separate you from the love of Jesus Christ. 580 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:51,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, my head knew it, my heart did not know it. 581 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:55,240 Speaker 2: So God and I went through a period of reconciling 582 00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:58,000 Speaker 2: my head and my heart for about a year. 583 00:30:58,560 --> 00:30:58,960 Speaker 1: Yeah. 584 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,080 Speaker 3: I love that answer so much because I know it 585 00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:03,520 Speaker 3: will encourage women who are feeling like they are the 586 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:07,040 Speaker 3: one woman that is unredeemable or unforgivable. And it does 587 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,040 Speaker 3: take time, and it takes getting to know who Jesus 588 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:10,719 Speaker 3: truly is. 589 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:15,000 Speaker 2: Absolutely, I know him deeper and much better even teaching 590 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,640 Speaker 2: the Bible. I won't say that's a surface level because 591 00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:20,680 Speaker 2: that's too strong. My head knew him well, I knew 592 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:23,160 Speaker 2: all the right answers. I knew how to break things 593 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:27,240 Speaker 2: down for people, but I had to live it. I 594 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:31,760 Speaker 2: had to experience the mercy and the love for it 595 00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,720 Speaker 2: to take the path from my head to my heart. 596 00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:38,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, one hundred percent. I love the way that you 597 00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:43,000 Speaker 3: just explain that. It's so beautiful. Is there one tiny 598 00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:46,000 Speaker 3: word of encouragement or a new action that you would 599 00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:47,560 Speaker 3: leave the listeners. 600 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:51,440 Speaker 2: With don't forget who you are in Christ. Satan doesn't 601 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,840 Speaker 2: want you to know that. Satan will discourage you, He 602 00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:58,400 Speaker 2: will distract you. He will make me feel less than 603 00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:03,280 Speaker 2: because and he can distract you from who you really are. 604 00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:07,600 Speaker 1: Every morning. Jesus's mercies really are new each day. 605 00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:10,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, just that bad day that I had and I 606 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:14,880 Speaker 2: had to be encouraged by the old timer. Your day 607 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:19,000 Speaker 2: is good. You didn't think who are you in Christ? 608 00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:21,720 Speaker 2: When it makes it from your head to your heart? 609 00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:24,720 Speaker 2: When that Bible Verse is not just something you memorize, 610 00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:29,520 Speaker 2: but something that you live that makes the transformation complete? Yes, 611 00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:33,080 Speaker 2: the govern is never ever going to give up on you. 612 00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:34,320 Speaker 1: Amen. 613 00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:37,760 Speaker 3: Thank you so much. Can you tell the gals where 614 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:40,520 Speaker 3: to find you? Learn more about you? And I will 615 00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:42,400 Speaker 3: put everything also in the show notes. 616 00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:43,640 Speaker 1: I'd love it. 617 00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:46,360 Speaker 2: You can check us out on either of the podcasts, 618 00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:49,080 Speaker 2: The Faith Over Fear or the Your Daily Bible Verse 619 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:51,200 Speaker 2: if you want to hear the broadcast, or you can 620 00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:54,360 Speaker 2: come to my website at any time. Carol McCracken dot com, 621 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:56,000 Speaker 2: and I'd love to see you and hear from you. 622 00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,080 Speaker 3: Thank you, Carol, I appreciate you so much. I'm so 623 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:02,240 Speaker 3: glad that we got connected. I hope we can have 624 00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:05,000 Speaker 3: an in person hug at some point in our future. 625 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:07,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. 626 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,760 Speaker 3: I just appreciate you telling your story. Thank you for 627 00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:15,360 Speaker 3: having me, Thank you for spending this time with me 628 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:18,760 Speaker 3: on love Live Sober. If today's conversation stirred something in 629 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:21,400 Speaker 3: your heart, don't rush past it, take it to prayer. 630 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:25,120 Speaker 3: If you're feeling ready for deeper connection and support, I'd 631 00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,640 Speaker 3: love to invite you into the love Life Sober community, 632 00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:31,560 Speaker 3: a grace filled, shame free space where real connection grows 633 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,800 Speaker 3: and lasting change takes root. You can find the link 634 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:38,560 Speaker 3: to join us in the show notes. Love Life Sober 635 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,720 Speaker 3: is part of the Life Audio podcast network, where faith 636 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,720 Speaker 3: centered podcasts help you grow deeper in your walk with Christ. 637 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:49,040 Speaker 3: You can find more faith centered podcasts at lifeaudio dot com. 638 00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:52,920 Speaker 3: Until next time, be gentle with yourself, stay curious, and 639 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:54,120 Speaker 3: trust God's promises. 640 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:56,040 Speaker 1: He has freedom waiting for you.