1 00:00:02,710 --> 00:00:05,280 Speaker 1: Life Audio. I want to say this, and this may 2 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:08,340 Speaker 1: bother some Christians. I think you can be a good 3 00:00:08,420 --> 00:00:11,620 Speaker 1: man without being a believer. What I don't think is 4 00:00:11,660 --> 00:00:14,500 Speaker 1: you can explain why you're doing it. I remember watching 5 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:18,020 Speaker 1: a video on YouTube one time where a guy had 6 00:00:18,140 --> 00:00:22,210 Speaker 1: just won his second MVP trophy in the NFL after 7 00:00:22,250 --> 00:00:25,570 Speaker 1: the Super Bowl. And I think I used this example before. 8 00:00:25,870 --> 00:00:28,870 Speaker 1: And the guy said, explain how you feel. And his 9 00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:31,270 Speaker 1: answer was, this can't be what it's all cracked up 10 00:00:31,290 --> 00:00:34,170 Speaker 1: to be. I mean, I've done it. I'm 27. 11 00:00:34,170 --> 00:00:36,750 Speaker 2: And what else is there for me? 12 00:00:37,070 --> 00:00:39,910 Speaker 1: There is no pinnacle without your creator living inside of you. 13 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:45,160 Speaker 2: Welcome to the show. My guest today is someone who 14 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,280 Speaker 2: has been on the show before and excited to have 15 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:50,880 Speaker 2: him back. Coach Chris Hogan is with us. Wanted to 16 00:00:50,940 --> 00:00:55,470 Speaker 2: talk today with him about a new, Chris, I don't 17 00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:58,510 Speaker 2: know if it's a curriculum program. It doesn't seem, those 18 00:00:58,550 --> 00:01:01,830 Speaker 2: words don't seem to fit. but a new tool to 19 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:05,649 Speaker 2: use related to masculinity. Chris, great to have you back on. 20 00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:06,330 Speaker 2: Thanks for being here. 21 00:01:07,370 --> 00:01:08,910 Speaker 1: Thank you. Absolutely. My pleasure. 22 00:01:12,450 --> 00:01:18,130 Speaker 2: Let's talk about atomic masculinity. First of all, I'll let 23 00:01:18,170 --> 00:01:21,929 Speaker 2: you describe it. To say it's a program doesn't seem right. 24 00:01:22,030 --> 00:01:25,150 Speaker 2: It's like calling discipleship a program. It's really not that. 25 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 2: It is kind of a crossover between curriculum and mentorship 26 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 2: and fellowship and discipleship. It seems like all of it 27 00:01:37,340 --> 00:01:41,679 Speaker 2: is there. Talk about what you're doing with Atomic Masculinity, 28 00:01:41,740 --> 00:01:44,360 Speaker 2: where that came from, and really your heart for men. 29 00:01:44,410 --> 00:01:49,490 Speaker 2: You have such a long history raising and training young men. 30 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:54,810 Speaker 2: And to me, this seems like really decades of work. 31 00:01:55,340 --> 00:01:57,030 Speaker 2: put down for other men to be able to pick up. 32 00:01:58,510 --> 00:02:00,710 Speaker 1: Yeah, it, it has taken decades, no doubt. And I'll 33 00:02:00,730 --> 00:02:02,130 Speaker 1: tell you what it is. I like to think of 34 00:02:02,170 --> 00:02:05,930 Speaker 1: it as a men's organization, um, that has, that morphed 35 00:02:05,990 --> 00:02:09,609 Speaker 1: into an online community. Basically, it's a call to arms 36 00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:15,220 Speaker 1: for Christian men to reject secular, passive, anti-biblical agenda, and 37 00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:19,080 Speaker 1: to do that in fellowship with other believers. Yeah. 38 00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:21,660 Speaker 2: That word, uh, word atomic is pretty interesting. I get your, 39 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:25,980 Speaker 2: your daily newsletter and, um, You started sending it out 40 00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 2: as the Atomic Masculinity Newsletter, and I've gotten that as well. 41 00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:32,060 Speaker 2: Talk about why the word atomic. You're intentional, so I'm 42 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,300 Speaker 2: sure that's intentional as well. 43 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:37,080 Speaker 1: It is. It's a jab at toxic masculinity, to be 44 00:02:37,139 --> 00:02:41,260 Speaker 1: honest with you. I believe in masculinity, and I believe 45 00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:44,960 Speaker 1: in masculinity at the atomic level, all the way down 46 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:48,090 Speaker 1: to the atoms that make you and I up. We 47 00:02:48,380 --> 00:02:51,690 Speaker 1: are men, wired and created in the image of God. 48 00:02:51,990 --> 00:02:54,980 Speaker 1: So yeah, at the atomic level, I want to be 49 00:02:55,060 --> 00:02:58,850 Speaker 1: masculine the way God made me to be masculine, biblically masculine. 50 00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:03,590 Speaker 1: And so that's, that's one thing. Another concept that we 51 00:03:03,630 --> 00:03:06,610 Speaker 1: like about atomic is atomic blows things up. And I'll 52 00:03:06,630 --> 00:03:09,550 Speaker 1: tell you right now, the plans of Satan in our 53 00:03:09,610 --> 00:03:12,520 Speaker 1: country today, they need to be blown up. And the 54 00:03:12,620 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: group that can do it best are masculine biblical men. 55 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:20,970 Speaker 1: So it's kind of a, multi-layered approach on why we 56 00:03:21,130 --> 00:03:23,609 Speaker 1: chose the name Atomic, but we want to be atomic 57 00:03:23,650 --> 00:03:26,980 Speaker 1: down to our souls, and it's in our DNA, and 58 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,359 Speaker 1: we want to be explosive for the things of God. 59 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,520 Speaker 1: And yes, there was a little bit of jab at 60 00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 1: toxic masculinity as well. So it's kind of all wrapped in. 61 00:03:37,190 --> 00:03:40,710 Speaker 2: There. Nothing wrong with the jabbing at toxic masculinity. So 62 00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:45,230 Speaker 2: for those that don't know you, you've been a coach for, 63 00:03:45,950 --> 00:03:47,950 Speaker 2: I think, more than 20 years. You've coached high school football, 64 00:03:48,710 --> 00:03:53,550 Speaker 2: at a very high level, won national championships. You have 65 00:03:54,470 --> 00:03:56,410 Speaker 2: been a part of books that have been written about you, 66 00:03:56,790 --> 00:04:00,350 Speaker 2: documentaries that have at least incorporated parts of your story. 67 00:04:01,010 --> 00:04:03,720 Speaker 2: You speak at a very high level. So all of 68 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,700 Speaker 2: these things are really a part of who you are. 69 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:09,060 Speaker 2: But going back 20 years, maybe going back 30 years, 70 00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:16,729 Speaker 2: when did you begin to see coaching sports as more 71 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:20,589 Speaker 2: than just coaching sports? It was an opportunity to build 72 00:04:20,610 --> 00:04:23,450 Speaker 2: young men, to develop what you have today. But when 73 00:04:23,470 --> 00:04:24,589 Speaker 2: did that kind of click for you? 74 00:04:26,210 --> 00:04:28,290 Speaker 1: You know, that clicked for me the first time I 75 00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:30,970 Speaker 1: became a head coach. And incidentally, I became a head 76 00:04:31,029 --> 00:04:34,349 Speaker 1: coach when I was not qualified. I was too young. 77 00:04:34,420 --> 00:04:38,260 Speaker 1: Nobody else wanted the job. That's why I got the job. 78 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:42,479 Speaker 1: I was definitely promoted above my competence level. But the 79 00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 1: bottom line is when I became a head coach, it 80 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 1: was somewhere in the middle of of my first, between 81 00:04:49,020 --> 00:04:53,220 Speaker 1: my first and second season, I recognized that the young 82 00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 1: men were parroting the things I said. And they had 83 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:02,670 Speaker 1: my mannerisms. And everything that I promoted, they bought into. 84 00:05:03,310 --> 00:05:06,190 Speaker 1: And some of them were looking at me for affirmation 85 00:05:06,330 --> 00:05:09,450 Speaker 1: in other parts of their lives outside of athletics. And 86 00:05:09,470 --> 00:05:12,430 Speaker 1: I mean, right there in the middle of athletic period 87 00:05:12,510 --> 00:05:15,650 Speaker 1: one day, I could just feel the Lord tapping on 88 00:05:15,710 --> 00:05:19,920 Speaker 1: my head saying, you think this is about football. This 89 00:05:19,980 --> 00:05:23,300 Speaker 1: is about the platform of football to develop the next 90 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 1: generation of godly men. And man, everything changed for me 91 00:05:27,820 --> 00:05:30,990 Speaker 1: at that moment. And I tried my best to be, 92 00:05:31,230 --> 00:05:34,289 Speaker 1: to have integrity, that calling, you know, throughout my career. 93 00:05:34,390 --> 00:05:37,169 Speaker 1: And it's, as you can imagine, it's been the most 94 00:05:37,230 --> 00:05:41,190 Speaker 1: rewarding thing. I mean, I have young men who text 95 00:05:41,250 --> 00:05:44,330 Speaker 1: me and call me whose kids are playing football now. 96 00:05:44,980 --> 00:05:47,560 Speaker 1: And they're talking to me about their kids' experience. It's just, 97 00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:51,670 Speaker 1: it's awesome. I think as men go, so go the country. 98 00:05:52,670 --> 00:05:55,710 Speaker 1: And so, and I say that, I say that as 99 00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:58,330 Speaker 1: a man who's, I just had my 30th wedding anniversary 100 00:05:58,670 --> 00:06:03,890 Speaker 1: and I have an unbelievable wife. But I think that 101 00:06:03,990 --> 00:06:08,480 Speaker 1: God created men and women differently. Shocker, huh? But not 102 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 1: only are we different, but we have different roles. We're 103 00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:14,740 Speaker 1: not different in value, obviously. Right. but we're different in roles. 104 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 1: And I think men need to lead like the Bible 105 00:06:18,180 --> 00:06:20,680 Speaker 1: calls us to lead. And I think masculinity has been 106 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:23,320 Speaker 1: under attack for decades in our country. And I'm gonna 107 00:06:23,339 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 1: tell you, men are suffering. I think that there are, 108 00:06:25,900 --> 00:06:29,500 Speaker 1: I think we have all kinds of issues that are 109 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:35,160 Speaker 1: not only damaging to man, but they are almost thwarting 110 00:06:35,900 --> 00:06:41,480 Speaker 1: biblical masculine men's impact in society. And I think in general, 111 00:06:42,050 --> 00:06:44,890 Speaker 1: Not even just Christian men, Jeremy. I think male-female relationships 112 00:06:44,950 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 1: are suffering. I think pornography is a killer. Alcohol and 113 00:06:48,779 --> 00:06:51,820 Speaker 1: drug use is at an all-time high. Marriage and the 114 00:06:51,860 --> 00:06:54,880 Speaker 1: definition of marriage and families are under attack. And I 115 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,839 Speaker 1: think at the root of this, the country is losing 116 00:06:57,900 --> 00:07:01,250 Speaker 1: its values. And I think men feel helpless. Men who 117 00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:05,790 Speaker 1: are isolated and who are not on mission are in 118 00:07:05,850 --> 00:07:10,250 Speaker 1: danger of losing impact. But... The solution to that is 119 00:07:10,290 --> 00:07:12,990 Speaker 1: to help guys get on mission and help them do 120 00:07:13,030 --> 00:07:15,470 Speaker 1: it in a band of brothers. That is when men 121 00:07:15,590 --> 00:07:17,610 Speaker 1: are at their best. I don't care if it's storming 122 00:07:17,630 --> 00:07:19,970 Speaker 1: the beaches of Normandy. I don't care if it's building 123 00:07:20,010 --> 00:07:22,570 Speaker 1: a business together. I don't care if it's 30 guys 124 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:25,940 Speaker 1: getting together and rebuilding a home for a poor family 125 00:07:25,980 --> 00:07:29,380 Speaker 1: who needs it. Men are the best when they're seeking 126 00:07:29,420 --> 00:07:32,420 Speaker 1: a virtuous cause in a band of brothers. And that's 127 00:07:32,460 --> 00:07:37,240 Speaker 1: the essence of atomic masculinity. That's the goal. 128 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:42,570 Speaker 2: Where do we start? I have two sons. Man, I 129 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 2: want them to live out their call. I don't want 130 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:49,179 Speaker 2: them to get caught up in, you know, you mentioned 131 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,540 Speaker 2: things like pornography and all the other things, but I mean, 132 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:57,400 Speaker 2: it's silly stuff. Just distract it, right? It is. I'm 133 00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 2: working a job and then I'm going to come home 134 00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:01,860 Speaker 2: and play video games. I'm going to distract myself in 135 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,860 Speaker 2: the garage. I'm going to do something other than when 136 00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:07,820 Speaker 2: I come home, lead my family. Where do we start? 137 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:11,640 Speaker 2: How do we prevent that from happening or pull it 138 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,560 Speaker 2: back if it's already begun to happen? 139 00:08:14,540 --> 00:08:16,660 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the first thing you do is try 140 00:08:16,700 --> 00:08:20,320 Speaker 1: to get a guy on mission. Try to get people 141 00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:23,670 Speaker 1: on mission. And by the way, the reason I thought 142 00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:28,110 Speaker 1: about you, I'll tell you what, man, there's organizations that 143 00:08:28,170 --> 00:08:31,110 Speaker 1: do some good and then there are next level organizations. 144 00:08:31,550 --> 00:08:35,030 Speaker 1: That's you. You are doing God's work with what you 145 00:08:35,050 --> 00:08:38,709 Speaker 1: guys are doing because you're helping people move along a 146 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:41,830 Speaker 1: mission-oriented trail. So I think the first thing you do 147 00:08:41,890 --> 00:08:45,770 Speaker 1: is help people understand, get on mission. Because if you 148 00:08:45,809 --> 00:08:48,310 Speaker 1: and I are on mission, then we can go through anything. 149 00:08:48,390 --> 00:08:51,410 Speaker 1: And we will go anything, as you know, especially people 150 00:08:51,429 --> 00:08:54,270 Speaker 1: who've served in the military. When you're on mission, nothing's 151 00:08:54,290 --> 00:08:57,870 Speaker 1: too big. So number one, you got to get some mission. 152 00:08:58,150 --> 00:09:01,050 Speaker 1: And that kind of starts with your identity. So that's 153 00:09:01,070 --> 00:09:03,510 Speaker 1: where I think you start. The second thing is, I 154 00:09:03,570 --> 00:09:07,370 Speaker 1: think it's very important that we teach guys, don't be 155 00:09:07,530 --> 00:09:11,290 Speaker 1: a lone wolf. Guys think that it's cool to be independent. 156 00:09:11,590 --> 00:09:13,890 Speaker 1: And we watch the movie and we see 007 and 157 00:09:13,910 --> 00:09:17,260 Speaker 1: we see Jason Bourne and they work by themselves. But man, 158 00:09:17,540 --> 00:09:20,699 Speaker 1: in real life, the wolf who operates him by himself 159 00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:23,420 Speaker 1: usually doesn't last out the winter. It's the wolf in 160 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:24,319 Speaker 1: the pack that wins. 161 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:26,990 Speaker 2: Is it possible, and you may not be able to 162 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:32,949 Speaker 2: answer this question, But is it possible to truly understand masculinity, 163 00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:36,280 Speaker 2: what it means to be a man, identity, mission, purpose, 164 00:09:36,420 --> 00:09:41,480 Speaker 2: all these things, apart from a foundation of faith? Can 165 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,939 Speaker 2: someone who says, you know, I want to be a 166 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,420 Speaker 2: good man, I want to be a good husband, I 167 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:48,250 Speaker 2: want to be a good father, I want to be 168 00:09:48,309 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 2: that guy that Chris is talking about, but I don't 169 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:54,580 Speaker 2: want the Jesus part. Is it possible? And if it is, 170 00:09:54,580 --> 00:09:58,420 Speaker 2: where's the kind of convergence where you know, there's almost 171 00:09:58,460 --> 00:09:59,439 Speaker 2: a diminishing return? 172 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. That's a great question. And I want to 173 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:07,520 Speaker 1: say this, and this may bother some Christians, but I 174 00:10:07,580 --> 00:10:09,319 Speaker 1: believe it. I believe the man who tells you the 175 00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:12,020 Speaker 1: truth is not your enemy. I think you can. I 176 00:10:12,620 --> 00:10:16,130 Speaker 1: think you can be a good man without being a believer. 177 00:10:17,130 --> 00:10:19,390 Speaker 1: What I don't think is you can explain why you're 178 00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:22,100 Speaker 1: doing it. You don't have a basis and a rationale 179 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:26,030 Speaker 1: on why you ought to be doing it. Because certainly 180 00:10:26,270 --> 00:10:30,230 Speaker 1: the lion is not into being nice to the antelope 181 00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:34,450 Speaker 1: in the wild. If you believe in that whole survival 182 00:10:34,470 --> 00:10:36,150 Speaker 1: of the strongest, you have no reason to be nice 183 00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:39,280 Speaker 1: to anybody. But I do believe that a man can 184 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:43,600 Speaker 1: be a good man without, as you said, the Jesus part. 185 00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:46,880 Speaker 1: And let me tell you why. Because he can uphold standards. 186 00:10:47,620 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 2: That's why. 187 00:10:48,670 --> 00:10:52,200 Speaker 1: When you can uphold standards that are right, you can 188 00:10:52,220 --> 00:10:58,080 Speaker 1: become a good man. When you can uphold objective standards. Now, again, 189 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,680 Speaker 1: you're going to have to find out if the standards 190 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 1: is objective, where does it come from? 191 00:11:02,460 --> 00:11:02,720 Speaker 2: Right. 192 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:03,060 Speaker 1: Right. 193 00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:03,460 Speaker 2: Right. 194 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:06,640 Speaker 1: But that's a different argument. But yes, a man can 195 00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: be a good man, can be masculine, can do all 196 00:11:08,820 --> 00:11:11,540 Speaker 1: the right things, can raise a great family without being 197 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:14,660 Speaker 1: a Christian. That is true. He may be not can, 198 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,420 Speaker 1: from a theological standpoint, rationalize why. But if you can 199 00:11:19,460 --> 00:11:22,170 Speaker 1: uphold standards, you can be a good man. If you 200 00:11:22,190 --> 00:11:24,610 Speaker 1: can walk with integrity to those standards, you can be 201 00:11:24,630 --> 00:11:27,450 Speaker 1: a good man. The interesting thing is human beings are 202 00:11:27,530 --> 00:11:34,469 Speaker 1: wired for transcendent causes. I know multiple people who are, 203 00:11:35,809 --> 00:11:39,230 Speaker 1: when I say multimillionaires, I'm talking about not 3 million. 204 00:11:39,610 --> 00:11:42,360 Speaker 1: I'm talking 500 million. Right. 205 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:44,500 Speaker 2: Who are as miserable. 206 00:11:45,020 --> 00:11:48,930 Speaker 1: That's multi. Who are as miserable people. as you can believe, 207 00:11:49,650 --> 00:11:53,650 Speaker 1: because there's more to life than what you can capture 208 00:11:53,929 --> 00:11:56,609 Speaker 1: just in the flesh. We're not wired for this world. 209 00:11:57,429 --> 00:12:00,170 Speaker 1: And so we're wired for a whole different existence, which 210 00:12:00,190 --> 00:12:03,630 Speaker 1: we're going to live out one day. And so, you know, 211 00:12:04,179 --> 00:12:06,500 Speaker 1: the old example that people get tired of, but for 212 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:10,420 Speaker 1: a non-believer watching, it's powerful. Every human being is built 213 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 1: with a God-shaped hole or vacuum in their heart. And 214 00:12:14,020 --> 00:12:16,540 Speaker 1: I don't care what you get on planet earth, what 215 00:12:16,580 --> 00:12:19,880 Speaker 1: kind of pleasures you can accumulate, it's never going to 216 00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:22,990 Speaker 1: be enough to satisfy you. So we're built for something 217 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:26,929 Speaker 1: that's transcendent. I mean, I remember watching a video on 218 00:12:26,970 --> 00:12:29,510 Speaker 1: YouTube one time where a guy had just won his 219 00:12:29,670 --> 00:12:33,390 Speaker 1: second MVP trophy in the NFL after the Super Bowl. 220 00:12:34,190 --> 00:12:36,630 Speaker 1: And I think I used this example before. And the 221 00:12:36,650 --> 00:12:40,250 Speaker 1: guy said, explain how you feel. And his answer was, 222 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:44,420 Speaker 1: I thought it would be more. He was disappointed. And 223 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:46,660 Speaker 1: the reason why is because he reached what he considered 224 00:12:47,260 --> 00:12:49,900 Speaker 1: the pinnacle. But it's not the pinnacle. There is no 225 00:12:49,940 --> 00:12:52,340 Speaker 1: pinnacle without your creator living inside of you. 226 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:55,350 Speaker 2: You see someone like him that has basically every record 227 00:12:55,380 --> 00:12:57,850 Speaker 2: he can have for his position. He could not be 228 00:12:57,910 --> 00:13:04,310 Speaker 2: more respected than he is right now. He left, as 229 00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:06,630 Speaker 2: we tell people to do, at the top of his game. 230 00:13:06,670 --> 00:13:08,090 Speaker 2: He's got it all. He's got the money. He's got 231 00:13:08,210 --> 00:13:12,280 Speaker 2: all of it. I watched his speech the other day, 232 00:13:12,540 --> 00:13:15,020 Speaker 2: last week, when they were announcing he was coming back. 233 00:13:15,059 --> 00:13:18,050 Speaker 2: He's like, I just want another shot. And I watch that, 234 00:13:18,090 --> 00:13:20,350 Speaker 2: and I'm like, another shot at what, man? There's more 235 00:13:20,370 --> 00:13:23,449 Speaker 2: to life than running into each other. And I love football. 236 00:13:23,530 --> 00:13:25,370 Speaker 2: I'm glad he's back, to be frank. I think he's 237 00:13:25,390 --> 00:13:28,340 Speaker 2: going to make for a great season. But you see 238 00:13:28,380 --> 00:13:32,900 Speaker 2: quarterbacks that do that. It's like one more season, one 239 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:36,940 Speaker 2: more thing, one more time, one more whatever. And to me, 240 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:40,740 Speaker 2: what that says is they're still, even though they've had 241 00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:44,219 Speaker 2: success beyond anything most of us could ever imagine, they're 242 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 2: still very empty in trying to understand what's out there 243 00:13:46,540 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 2: for them. 244 00:13:47,450 --> 00:13:51,030 Speaker 1: Their identity, Rob, they don't have an identity. That sport 245 00:13:51,090 --> 00:13:53,510 Speaker 1: is their identity. It's why those boxers come back who 246 00:13:53,550 --> 00:13:55,650 Speaker 1: are 38 years old and get their heads beat in. 247 00:13:56,380 --> 00:13:57,240 Speaker 1: That's their identity. 248 00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:57,720 Speaker 2: Yeah. 249 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,000 Speaker 1: You know, but for you and I, our identity is 250 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:00,500 Speaker 1: in Christ. 251 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:01,020 Speaker 2: Yeah. 252 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,240 Speaker 1: And so that makes it different. And so then you 253 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:06,760 Speaker 1: can be on whatever mission he puts you on. But yeah, 254 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:10,410 Speaker 1: that's a search for identity. And it's a heartbreaker. You know, 255 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,570 Speaker 1: I would love to have a mission session with those 256 00:14:13,790 --> 00:14:15,630 Speaker 1: pro athletes who feel the need to go back and 257 00:14:15,650 --> 00:14:17,819 Speaker 1: do it again. Right. I think some of them at 258 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,620 Speaker 1: the end of that mission session would recognize, wow, I 259 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:23,770 Speaker 1: can go out and impact hundreds of thousands of people, 260 00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,230 Speaker 1: you know, just getting on mission. 261 00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:28,970 Speaker 2: Well, and I think that's where, you know, can you 262 00:14:28,990 --> 00:14:31,650 Speaker 2: be a good man without faith? Again, we talked about that. 263 00:14:31,950 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 2: You follow God's principles. It's going to work in your life. 264 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:37,900 Speaker 2: But when you have those moments of confusion and disappointment 265 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:41,220 Speaker 2: and doubt and loss and all the rest of it, 266 00:14:41,710 --> 00:14:43,990 Speaker 2: If you don't know where those principles came from or 267 00:14:44,030 --> 00:14:45,670 Speaker 2: why they're important, you're not going to have anything to 268 00:14:45,690 --> 00:14:49,470 Speaker 2: hang on to. And I think for me, I'm 50 269 00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:53,370 Speaker 2: years old this year. I have two kids, three kids 270 00:14:53,410 --> 00:14:55,390 Speaker 2: basically out of the house. My last one's getting ready 271 00:14:55,430 --> 00:14:57,570 Speaker 2: to leave. My wife and I are going through this 272 00:14:57,590 --> 00:15:00,740 Speaker 2: transition a lot of people go through. And throughout my life, 273 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:03,120 Speaker 2: there have been transition periods. I think the only thing 274 00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:06,080 Speaker 2: that's kept me on mission or brought me back to 275 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:09,239 Speaker 2: mission is going back to, okay, God, what is it now? 276 00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:11,870 Speaker 2: Things have changed a lot. What what is it now? 277 00:15:12,710 --> 00:15:16,230 Speaker 2: And without that, without that roadmap, even if you were 278 00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:17,670 Speaker 2: doing it right for a while, it seems like you 279 00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:19,060 Speaker 2: just you wouldn't be able to do that for the 280 00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:19,580 Speaker 2: long term. 281 00:15:20,860 --> 00:15:24,440 Speaker 1: Man, Jeremy, you have just you've pitched me a softball 282 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:30,560 Speaker 1: here because transition is so critical because it gets men 283 00:15:31,220 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 1: off course and out of fellowship. So you think about 284 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,650 Speaker 1: guys that come out of the military. 285 00:15:37,730 --> 00:15:37,910 Speaker 2: Yeah. 286 00:15:38,590 --> 00:15:44,010 Speaker 1: Their entire sense of structure ripped away. Having done life 287 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:47,940 Speaker 1: in a band of brothers, gone. Those were the two things. 288 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 1: And that's why we created. So I've got this resource. 289 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,560 Speaker 1: And man, when God dropped this in my brain, I 290 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:56,900 Speaker 1: kid you not. When God dropped this in my brain, 291 00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:01,330 Speaker 1: I immediately thought of you. And here's why. I've started 292 00:16:01,350 --> 00:16:04,900 Speaker 1: this thing called the Atomic Council. And inside the, it's 293 00:16:04,940 --> 00:16:08,520 Speaker 1: an online community. And in that council, you're on a team, 294 00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:11,420 Speaker 1: just like a sports team, just like a corporate team, 295 00:16:11,660 --> 00:16:14,440 Speaker 1: or just like a military team. You're on a team 296 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,600 Speaker 1: and it's going to be small. We're talking five to 297 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,460 Speaker 1: 10 guys that are your team. You get to name 298 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,750 Speaker 1: the team and it doesn't matter where these guys are. 299 00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:24,810 Speaker 1: They're your team because we can do what we're doing 300 00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:27,250 Speaker 1: right here. We can get on and have a meeting. 301 00:16:27,550 --> 00:16:28,910 Speaker 1: So we're going to have a meeting once a week. 302 00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:32,120 Speaker 1: and it's accountability meeting to a system of life that 303 00:16:32,140 --> 00:16:32,740 Speaker 1: I've created. 304 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,640 Speaker 2: I've noticed even in my own life, you know, many 305 00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:39,600 Speaker 2: years removed from the military, I had these periods of 306 00:16:39,660 --> 00:16:43,840 Speaker 2: time where it seems like everything's clicking. My relationships are working. My, my, 307 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,920 Speaker 2: my fitness levels are high. My, you know, my work 308 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,100 Speaker 2: life is good and it's, you know, I'm driven, I'm focused, 309 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:53,570 Speaker 2: I'm on it. Then something happens. And often it's not 310 00:16:53,590 --> 00:16:57,780 Speaker 2: even a big something. It's just something happens. And, and, 311 00:16:58,380 --> 00:17:01,660 Speaker 2: All of those areas begin to slide and to suffer. 312 00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:04,580 Speaker 2: And it's like I can't get back. I can't get 313 00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:08,010 Speaker 2: back to that. And like you said, the first thing 314 00:17:08,050 --> 00:17:10,980 Speaker 2: I do typically is then pull away from anyone that 315 00:17:11,010 --> 00:17:14,050 Speaker 2: can help me, right? And so to have a weekly 316 00:17:14,210 --> 00:17:18,690 Speaker 2: meeting where rain or shine, good or bad, whether things 317 00:17:18,710 --> 00:17:20,389 Speaker 2: are going really well or not really well, I know 318 00:17:20,410 --> 00:17:23,689 Speaker 2: I have to meet with these guys. That's right. It's powerful. Man, 319 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:24,690 Speaker 2: that'll pull you through. 320 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,970 Speaker 1: Not only that, I want you to understand, this is 321 00:17:28,030 --> 00:17:29,270 Speaker 1: not a weekly Bible study. 322 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:29,810 Speaker 2: Yeah. 323 00:17:30,090 --> 00:17:32,470 Speaker 1: Okay. Now, don't get me wrong. We can talk about 324 00:17:32,490 --> 00:17:34,230 Speaker 1: whatever we want to in the meeting. We can talk 325 00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:36,990 Speaker 1: about the sermon at church and how it synced with 326 00:17:37,030 --> 00:17:40,810 Speaker 1: our business or no problem. But the meeting starts as 327 00:17:40,850 --> 00:17:44,960 Speaker 1: an accountability meeting because each man has a mission, objectives, 328 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,940 Speaker 1: and goals. And by the way, totally customizable. I mean, 329 00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:50,460 Speaker 1: if I wanted to come into the meeting and say, look, 330 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:54,669 Speaker 1: I've got two daily non-negotiables And I wanted to do 331 00:17:54,710 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 1: them five days a week. And I did those two things. 332 00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,840 Speaker 1: And one of them is a quiet time. And one 333 00:17:59,859 --> 00:18:03,200 Speaker 1: of them is eat breakfast. Maybe that's what I need 334 00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:04,980 Speaker 1: at that time in my life. And to look other 335 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,800 Speaker 1: men in the eye and say, I made it. But 336 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,770 Speaker 1: you may be a huge overachiever and say, look, I've 337 00:18:09,810 --> 00:18:12,750 Speaker 1: got 13 goals. And I do them four days a week. 338 00:18:12,970 --> 00:18:16,930 Speaker 1: And I got 89% of them done. You know, it's customizable. 339 00:18:17,470 --> 00:18:19,410 Speaker 1: But you and I are still in the same group. 340 00:18:19,990 --> 00:18:21,719 Speaker 1: And you can help me and I can help you. 341 00:18:22,340 --> 00:18:25,280 Speaker 1: So it's really just an accountability meeting. And then, of course, 342 00:18:25,300 --> 00:18:26,800 Speaker 1: you know what's going to happen. You and I both 343 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,899 Speaker 1: know there's going to be friendship, fellowship, and we're going 344 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:31,480 Speaker 1: to give each other a hard time. It's just what 345 00:18:31,540 --> 00:18:33,580 Speaker 1: guys do in a group when they get to know 346 00:18:33,619 --> 00:18:37,000 Speaker 1: each other. But it starts off as an accountability meeting 347 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:41,290 Speaker 1: because men do better with accountability. So I think it's 348 00:18:41,310 --> 00:18:44,790 Speaker 1: going to be a powerful ministry, Jeremy. I really do. 349 00:18:44,810 --> 00:18:47,950 Speaker 2: Talk about kind of the essence of accountability, because I 350 00:18:47,990 --> 00:18:49,630 Speaker 2: think we've gotten that wrong for a long time. 351 00:18:50,580 --> 00:18:55,199 Speaker 1: Yeah, accountability. So there's two main pillars of accountability. Number one, 352 00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:56,840 Speaker 1: it starts with the man in the mirror, and you 353 00:18:56,920 --> 00:19:00,460 Speaker 1: just described it. It starts with the man in the 354 00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:03,830 Speaker 1: mirror saying, this is what I want. Because accountability has 355 00:19:03,850 --> 00:19:06,290 Speaker 1: to be a two-way street. Because, you know, if you're 356 00:19:06,330 --> 00:19:08,149 Speaker 1: trying to hold me accountable, but I won't show up 357 00:19:08,170 --> 00:19:09,890 Speaker 1: to the meeting, it doesn't work. 358 00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:13,570 Speaker 2: How do you differentiate between accountability and, as you just 359 00:19:13,609 --> 00:19:14,850 Speaker 2: described it, and mentorship? 360 00:19:15,410 --> 00:19:19,790 Speaker 1: Yeah, mentorship, that's a great question. Mentorship, a lot of 361 00:19:19,830 --> 00:19:23,070 Speaker 1: times you're dealing with a guy who is trying to 362 00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:27,600 Speaker 1: learn the concepts better. And so you're pulling him along 363 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,659 Speaker 1: through that concept. So for instance, if I were mentoring 364 00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:34,840 Speaker 1: a 27-year-old guy who's married, I think I can tell 365 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:39,010 Speaker 1: him some things that will help him concerning the woman's species. 366 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:42,199 Speaker 1: I mean, couldn't you coach your own 25-year-old self up 367 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,229 Speaker 1: right now in women? Sure. Not that we know everything, 368 00:19:45,410 --> 00:19:46,629 Speaker 1: but we certainly know more than we did in our 369 00:19:46,630 --> 00:19:49,440 Speaker 1: mid twenties. So you're kind of shedding light on things 370 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,780 Speaker 1: that they sort of know. Mentorship is pulling you through 371 00:19:52,820 --> 00:19:56,659 Speaker 1: some things you sort of know. Accountability is helping you 372 00:19:56,700 --> 00:20:00,380 Speaker 1: maintain a standard you're very familiar with. So there, there's 373 00:20:00,420 --> 00:20:03,960 Speaker 1: a huge difference there. Mentorship is pulling somebody along a 374 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,760 Speaker 1: little bit like Paul to Timothy. 375 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:06,440 Speaker 2: Yeah. 376 00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:10,990 Speaker 1: Um, Paul to Paul is where more accountability happens than mentorship. 377 00:20:11,190 --> 00:20:13,169 Speaker 1: But I will tell you this, too. The beauty of 378 00:20:13,210 --> 00:20:16,720 Speaker 1: mentorship is it's a lot of Paul to Paul and 379 00:20:16,740 --> 00:20:17,880 Speaker 1: Timothy to Timothy as well. 380 00:20:18,420 --> 00:20:21,800 Speaker 2: Yeah. When you think about those two, because it almost 381 00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:24,760 Speaker 2: sounds like there's the coaching and then almost partnership, right? 382 00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,920 Speaker 2: Maybe there's different ways of looking at that. 383 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,479 Speaker 1: Jeremy, I think there's something else that I feel like 384 00:20:29,540 --> 00:20:34,879 Speaker 1: is important. Clarity for a man is critical. Which is 385 00:20:34,940 --> 00:20:38,100 Speaker 1: why we build our entire system on four things. We 386 00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 1: tell the guy, we want you to build your life right. 387 00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:44,680 Speaker 1: And we do it on these four pillars. God, yourself, 388 00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:49,600 Speaker 1: your family, and then your service. And we do it 389 00:20:49,660 --> 00:20:53,580 Speaker 1: in that order. Get right with your creator. Get right 390 00:20:53,619 --> 00:20:56,859 Speaker 1: with the guy in the mirror. Make sure you're in 391 00:20:56,940 --> 00:20:59,580 Speaker 1: harmony with your family. And then your service, how you 392 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,800 Speaker 1: make your money or other places that you serve. Because 393 00:21:01,820 --> 00:21:03,659 Speaker 1: when I say service, I really mean what you do 394 00:21:03,700 --> 00:21:05,660 Speaker 1: for a living. Because I'm going to tell you right now, 395 00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:09,000 Speaker 1: you and I owe a great debt to that auto 396 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:12,119 Speaker 1: mechanic when we need him. I mean, that man is 397 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,720 Speaker 1: providing a serious service. But I'll tell you this. I've 398 00:21:15,740 --> 00:21:18,000 Speaker 1: met some auto mechanics. In fact, my stepdad was an 399 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:21,899 Speaker 1: auto mechanic. And he probably did not see himself in 400 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:22,680 Speaker 1: a very high light. 401 00:21:23,060 --> 00:21:23,280 Speaker 2: Right. 402 00:21:23,380 --> 00:21:26,739 Speaker 1: But the community did. And so how he made his 403 00:21:26,820 --> 00:21:29,420 Speaker 1: money was his godly service to his fellow man. So 404 00:21:29,619 --> 00:21:33,320 Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything wrong with making lots of money. 405 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:33,840 Speaker 2: Yeah. 406 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:39,580 Speaker 1: So. My idea is God, yourself, your family, and your service. 407 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 1: And when you get clear in those things, Jeremy, if 408 00:21:43,060 --> 00:21:45,459 Speaker 1: you get clear and you've got a band of brothers 409 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,899 Speaker 1: and you've got an operating system of accountability, I'm telling you, 410 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,100 Speaker 1: you're going to leave a dent in the next generation 411 00:21:52,140 --> 00:21:53,980 Speaker 1: as a man if you get all those things lined up. 412 00:21:55,400 --> 00:22:00,679 Speaker 2: Chris, those four things make sense to me intuitively and 413 00:22:00,700 --> 00:22:03,570 Speaker 2: just from a standpoint of priority. This is how things 414 00:22:03,619 --> 00:22:07,000 Speaker 2: need to be viewed in terms of importance and priority. 415 00:22:08,490 --> 00:22:15,129 Speaker 2: But number two, get right with yourself. The way I 416 00:22:15,170 --> 00:22:17,980 Speaker 2: have typically, I guess, thought of that, I've never articulated it, 417 00:22:17,990 --> 00:22:20,050 Speaker 2: but thought about that is I get right with myself 418 00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:23,300 Speaker 2: by being right with God, by being right with my family, 419 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,300 Speaker 2: by being right in these other areas. You pull that 420 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,419 Speaker 2: out and set it up as a separate pillar, a 421 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:34,440 Speaker 2: separate second in terms of priority. How does one get 422 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,580 Speaker 2: right with themselves? What do you mean by that? It's 423 00:22:36,619 --> 00:22:38,379 Speaker 2: not about being right with God or being right with 424 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,610 Speaker 2: your family. Right with yourself. What does that mean? 425 00:22:41,290 --> 00:22:43,670 Speaker 1: Yeah, it means this. You need to make yourself your 426 00:22:43,770 --> 00:22:46,629 Speaker 1: number one project. And people think, wow, that kind of 427 00:22:46,650 --> 00:22:50,530 Speaker 1: seems selfish. Actually, it's about as selfless a thing as 428 00:22:50,550 --> 00:22:56,830 Speaker 1: you can do. If you don't take care of yourself spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, 429 00:22:57,010 --> 00:22:59,520 Speaker 1: you know what happens? Your wife and those kids get 430 00:22:59,540 --> 00:23:00,880 Speaker 1: a second-rate version of you. 431 00:23:00,940 --> 00:23:01,740 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. 432 00:23:02,690 --> 00:23:06,320 Speaker 1: So what I'm saying is take care of yourself spiritually. 433 00:23:06,340 --> 00:23:11,639 Speaker 1: I mean, guys come home exhausted and cannot function. Do 434 00:23:11,700 --> 00:23:14,859 Speaker 1: not eat right. Don't work out. Don't skip their quiet 435 00:23:14,900 --> 00:23:17,360 Speaker 1: time because life gets too busy. And guess what? They 436 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,879 Speaker 1: start operating on their own resources instead of in all 437 00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:23,250 Speaker 1: their ways, acknowledging him and letting him direct your path. 438 00:23:23,530 --> 00:23:26,129 Speaker 1: So what I'm saying is be the best version of 439 00:23:26,190 --> 00:23:28,810 Speaker 1: you you can be. And the people you love most 440 00:23:28,970 --> 00:23:32,880 Speaker 1: are the benefactors. Everybody wins. So that's what I mean 441 00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:36,220 Speaker 1: is guys will, I mean, guys will put their wives 442 00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:39,609 Speaker 1: and their kids and their job and their service at 443 00:23:39,650 --> 00:23:43,190 Speaker 1: church above themselves and get totally burned out. That is not, 444 00:23:43,330 --> 00:23:47,070 Speaker 1: that's not a balance that you can sustain. So I'm 445 00:23:47,130 --> 00:23:50,490 Speaker 1: shooting for longevity because I want Jeremy to be doing, 446 00:23:50,710 --> 00:23:54,229 Speaker 1: be on mission at age 85. I don't want you 447 00:23:54,250 --> 00:23:56,540 Speaker 1: tired at 65. You're too valuable for the kingdom and 448 00:23:56,560 --> 00:24:00,520 Speaker 1: for the country. So, I think you can go another 30, 449 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:04,000 Speaker 1: 35 years, no problem, as long as you take care 450 00:24:04,020 --> 00:24:05,680 Speaker 1: of yourself. I mean, you mentioned it a while ago. 451 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:09,020 Speaker 1: You talked about your physical self, when your workouts are 452 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:10,399 Speaker 1: going good, when your work's going good. 453 00:24:10,700 --> 00:24:11,200 Speaker 2: That's you. 454 00:24:11,740 --> 00:24:14,600 Speaker 1: So that's all I mean. Make yourself your number one project, 455 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:16,220 Speaker 1: and your wife and kids will thank you for it 456 00:24:16,260 --> 00:24:19,690 Speaker 1: because they'll get the best version. That's all I mean. 457 00:24:19,710 --> 00:24:23,450 Speaker 2: That's good. Man, yeah, and it really is kind of 458 00:24:23,470 --> 00:24:26,419 Speaker 2: looking at, I guess the word is holistically, but It's 459 00:24:26,460 --> 00:24:29,250 Speaker 2: understanding God gave me a body. He gave me time. 460 00:24:29,290 --> 00:24:33,389 Speaker 2: He gave me opportunity. And it's stewarding over those. I 461 00:24:33,410 --> 00:24:36,780 Speaker 2: was talking to my wife this week. We're talking about 462 00:24:36,890 --> 00:24:40,440 Speaker 2: another couple. We do a lot of marriage counseling and 463 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,300 Speaker 2: this couple struggling. And one is struggling more than the 464 00:24:43,340 --> 00:24:46,540 Speaker 2: other one, as often happens. And they're struggling because they 465 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,930 Speaker 2: want so badly for their spouse to do the right thing. 466 00:24:49,590 --> 00:24:52,450 Speaker 2: And they've almost gotten hung up on this. If they 467 00:24:52,470 --> 00:24:54,670 Speaker 2: would just do the right thing, this would be so 468 00:24:54,710 --> 00:24:56,770 Speaker 2: much better. And then I'd know what to do. And 469 00:24:57,730 --> 00:25:00,150 Speaker 2: they've almost gotten stalled out on that. I'm waiting for 470 00:25:00,190 --> 00:25:02,910 Speaker 2: them to do the right thing. And if I'm hearing 471 00:25:02,930 --> 00:25:05,619 Speaker 2: you correctly, it really is the same in marriage. You 472 00:25:05,660 --> 00:25:08,360 Speaker 2: can't control what your spouse does, but you can control 473 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:11,419 Speaker 2: what you do. And you need to be right before God. 474 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:13,780 Speaker 2: Do the things that are. 475 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,240 Speaker 2: The things that you need to do. Don't worry about 476 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,600 Speaker 2: everyone else. Worry about yourself. Read your Bible. Spend time 477 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,600 Speaker 2: in prayer. Spend time in community. Take care of your 478 00:25:22,619 --> 00:25:26,669 Speaker 2: physical self. Don't excuse not taking care of your physical 479 00:25:26,730 --> 00:25:30,270 Speaker 2: body because of what else is going on. Because only 480 00:25:30,330 --> 00:25:32,250 Speaker 2: then will you be there, if not for your spouse, 481 00:25:32,270 --> 00:25:35,230 Speaker 2: then for your kids and for other people. And I'll 482 00:25:35,490 --> 00:25:35,990 Speaker 2: tell you this. 483 00:25:36,950 --> 00:25:37,630 Speaker 1: Oh, go ahead. I'm sorry. 484 00:25:37,710 --> 00:25:40,310 Speaker 2: I was going to say, I've always taken that as me. 485 00:25:40,490 --> 00:25:44,540 Speaker 2: The me part, be right with me, is... I'll push 486 00:25:44,580 --> 00:25:46,399 Speaker 2: it in two different directions, right? I'll push it in 487 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,220 Speaker 2: the direction of God, which is great. I'll push it 488 00:25:49,540 --> 00:25:52,770 Speaker 2: in the direction of my wife and kids. Also good, 489 00:25:52,810 --> 00:25:55,050 Speaker 2: but those are very relational and don't speak to the 490 00:25:55,109 --> 00:25:56,590 Speaker 2: why are the other things also important. 491 00:25:57,350 --> 00:26:01,290 Speaker 1: Exactly. You nailed it. And I think also something that 492 00:26:01,770 --> 00:26:05,250 Speaker 1: I feel like is critical in your ability to influence 493 00:26:05,290 --> 00:26:08,109 Speaker 1: other people. Check this out. Let's say that you're a 494 00:26:08,210 --> 00:26:11,810 Speaker 1: disciplined guy. And so you work out three, four times 495 00:26:11,850 --> 00:26:15,980 Speaker 1: a week. You don't miss your morning prayer time. You 496 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,180 Speaker 1: lead your family by taking them to church. And you've 497 00:26:18,220 --> 00:26:22,189 Speaker 1: got these things set up. Man, your influence goes out 498 00:26:22,270 --> 00:26:25,590 Speaker 1: the roof. I mean, my kids come over sometimes. I 499 00:26:25,630 --> 00:26:29,010 Speaker 1: live eight minutes from my daughter and son-in-law. They spent 500 00:26:29,030 --> 00:26:30,530 Speaker 1: the night at my house this weekend like it's a 501 00:26:30,530 --> 00:26:34,659 Speaker 1: slumber party or something. But I didn't complain because they 502 00:26:34,700 --> 00:26:36,260 Speaker 1: have my four-month-old grandbabies. 503 00:26:36,380 --> 00:26:36,939 Speaker 2: It's awesome. 504 00:26:37,619 --> 00:26:40,100 Speaker 1: But the deal is, if they come over and it's 3.30, 505 00:26:40,100 --> 00:26:44,220 Speaker 1: 4 o'clock, and I know they're here, I'm going to 506 00:26:44,300 --> 00:26:47,439 Speaker 1: come out of my workout area in my house, in 507 00:26:47,460 --> 00:26:50,020 Speaker 1: my room, and say hi to them. Say, hey, I'll 508 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:51,920 Speaker 1: be out in 15 minutes. I just got to finish 509 00:26:51,980 --> 00:26:55,810 Speaker 1: up my workout. And they know dad's taking care of himself. 510 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,810 Speaker 1: They know that I don't miss workouts. And so if 511 00:26:58,869 --> 00:27:01,469 Speaker 1: you're in a group and they know, don't call him 512 00:27:01,490 --> 00:27:04,129 Speaker 1: right now. He does his quiet time. Oh, I'll put 513 00:27:04,150 --> 00:27:08,010 Speaker 1: you this way. My atomic team is going to meet on, 514 00:27:08,190 --> 00:27:11,210 Speaker 1: we meet on Sunday nights, like at eight o'clock. So 515 00:27:11,340 --> 00:27:13,730 Speaker 1: at eight o'clock, I mean, I'm going to walk away 516 00:27:13,790 --> 00:27:16,570 Speaker 1: from the NFL football game at 8 p.m. It ain't 517 00:27:16,590 --> 00:27:19,990 Speaker 1: going to bother me in April. But in October, I'm 518 00:27:20,010 --> 00:27:22,110 Speaker 1: going to walk away from the 8 p.m. football game, right? 519 00:27:22,750 --> 00:27:25,770 Speaker 1: And if my son in college calls me and it's 520 00:27:25,770 --> 00:27:29,520 Speaker 1: 8 p.m., I'm not going to answer on Sunday night. 521 00:27:29,740 --> 00:27:33,020 Speaker 1: My wife will answer because he'll call her next. But see, 522 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:34,959 Speaker 1: here's the thing. What does that do? Does that say 523 00:27:35,020 --> 00:27:39,780 Speaker 1: I'm selfish? What it says is, Dad... has these systems 524 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,850 Speaker 1: in his life because he is a man of these things. 525 00:27:43,090 --> 00:27:45,370 Speaker 1: He's not a man of vices. He's not a man 526 00:27:45,390 --> 00:27:49,010 Speaker 1: of my schedule. He's not a man of circumstances. He's 527 00:27:49,050 --> 00:27:51,670 Speaker 1: got a system in place. That's the man everybody wants 528 00:27:51,710 --> 00:27:53,130 Speaker 1: to follow and be on the team with. 529 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:54,060 Speaker 2: Yeah. 530 00:27:54,340 --> 00:27:54,540 Speaker 1: Yeah. 531 00:27:54,780 --> 00:27:58,820 Speaker 2: That's so good. That's so good. Um, man, we can 532 00:27:58,859 --> 00:28:00,060 Speaker 2: talk a lot, a lot longer. I'm going to ask 533 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:01,980 Speaker 2: you this and then we'll be done. I promise. I 534 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:06,790 Speaker 2: won't keep asking questions. Um, What are the first three, four, five, 535 00:28:06,830 --> 00:28:09,449 Speaker 2: whatever it is, whatever the number is, things that you 536 00:28:09,470 --> 00:28:13,570 Speaker 2: would tell a young man who maybe they don't have 537 00:28:13,590 --> 00:28:15,530 Speaker 2: a whole lot of direction, but they want to do right. 538 00:28:15,670 --> 00:28:18,070 Speaker 2: They hear you speak. They see someone that they look 539 00:28:18,130 --> 00:28:19,350 Speaker 2: up to and they think, man, I want to be 540 00:28:19,369 --> 00:28:20,909 Speaker 2: like that guy. I don't even know where to start. 541 00:28:21,630 --> 00:28:23,300 Speaker 2: What are the first couple of things they need to 542 00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:23,930 Speaker 2: do to start? 543 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:30,120 Speaker 1: Ask yourself, if you're that young man, do you have 544 00:28:30,180 --> 00:28:36,090 Speaker 1: the masculine courage to finish? Let's just start right there 545 00:28:36,770 --> 00:28:40,030 Speaker 1: because let's just appeal to the masculinity that God put 546 00:28:40,050 --> 00:28:42,550 Speaker 1: in their heart. Do you really want to be that man, 547 00:28:43,470 --> 00:28:46,730 Speaker 1: that masculine dude that you say you do? Okay, number two, 548 00:28:47,030 --> 00:28:51,920 Speaker 1: go get a mentor. You say, ooh, that's uncomfortable. Okay, 549 00:28:52,580 --> 00:28:55,360 Speaker 1: we're not walking down estrogen road here. We don't care 550 00:28:55,380 --> 00:28:58,580 Speaker 1: about comfort. We don't care. So you want to be 551 00:28:58,620 --> 00:29:00,680 Speaker 1: that guy? You want to be an awesome dude? Go 552 00:29:00,860 --> 00:29:04,180 Speaker 1: get a mentor and tell him the truth. I don't 553 00:29:04,220 --> 00:29:06,280 Speaker 1: know what I'm doing in these areas. I've struggled in 554 00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 1: this area. Hey, I'm pretty strong here. Not as good here. 555 00:29:09,660 --> 00:29:13,180 Speaker 1: Be honest. Go find a mentor. The second thing is 556 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:16,490 Speaker 1: go get plugged into community. Go get plugged into community. 557 00:29:16,550 --> 00:29:18,990 Speaker 1: It's huge. And then the third thing I would do 558 00:29:19,070 --> 00:29:21,410 Speaker 1: is try to help somebody, or excuse me, I'm sorry, 559 00:29:21,690 --> 00:29:24,730 Speaker 1: try to find somebody to help you get on mission. 560 00:29:25,130 --> 00:29:27,560 Speaker 1: I think those are the three things. Mentor, community, and 561 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,040 Speaker 1: get on mission. That's what I would tell a young guy. 562 00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:33,510 Speaker 1: And when I say a young man, man, Jeremy, I've 563 00:29:33,570 --> 00:29:36,600 Speaker 1: met some 44-year-old guys who need to do just what 564 00:29:36,620 --> 00:29:37,220 Speaker 1: we talked about. 565 00:29:37,500 --> 00:29:37,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, sure. 566 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:41,460 Speaker 1: But it works the same for 44 or 64. Those 567 00:29:41,500 --> 00:29:43,480 Speaker 1: are the things that I recommend. Yeah, that's good. 568 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:47,420 Speaker 2: That's good. Chris, man, I always love talking to you. 569 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:51,610 Speaker 2: I'm always so motivated and pumped up and ready to 570 00:29:51,650 --> 00:29:55,150 Speaker 2: take on the world. And you're so clear in how 571 00:29:55,190 --> 00:29:58,469 Speaker 2: you break things down. First time we ever talked. we 572 00:29:58,490 --> 00:30:00,130 Speaker 2: talked on the phone, I think the first time and 573 00:30:00,150 --> 00:30:03,290 Speaker 2: I'm like, man, just so clear. Like, like, like you 574 00:30:03,350 --> 00:30:05,550 Speaker 2: think like a coach, you communicate like a coach and 575 00:30:05,590 --> 00:30:09,520 Speaker 2: it's very, very helpful. Where can people that aren't already 576 00:30:10,220 --> 00:30:13,840 Speaker 2: following you consuming your content, where can they go for that? 577 00:30:14,060 --> 00:30:16,800 Speaker 2: And then how do they get connected to atomic masculinity? 578 00:30:18,060 --> 00:30:22,010 Speaker 1: I think atomic masculinity.com is the easiest answer for all 579 00:30:22,050 --> 00:30:24,550 Speaker 1: of it because like, you can subscribe and get my 580 00:30:24,610 --> 00:30:28,010 Speaker 1: weekly newsletter called the atomic briefing, which I know you get. 581 00:30:28,030 --> 00:30:28,490 Speaker 2: Yep. 582 00:30:28,810 --> 00:30:32,450 Speaker 1: Um, I'll also, you can also subscribe to the podcast. 583 00:30:32,490 --> 00:30:34,780 Speaker 1: So I just did one today and the name of 584 00:30:34,820 --> 00:30:38,720 Speaker 1: the podcast that I just dropped today is, um, when 585 00:30:38,860 --> 00:30:42,940 Speaker 1: life hits hard, how to reset. And I think we've 586 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:46,380 Speaker 1: all been there. And so, uh, They can get the 587 00:30:46,420 --> 00:30:49,940 Speaker 1: podcast there. They can get the free resource there. And 588 00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:53,090 Speaker 1: they can check out, they can think about joining the 589 00:30:53,110 --> 00:30:55,330 Speaker 1: Atomic Council. It's a place where you can go and 590 00:30:55,350 --> 00:30:57,170 Speaker 1: get on a team. And I'll tell you this, if 591 00:30:57,190 --> 00:31:00,229 Speaker 1: you have listeners or folks who watch your show who 592 00:31:00,270 --> 00:31:04,770 Speaker 1: have men's organizations, men's group, retreats of any kind, man, 593 00:31:04,990 --> 00:31:07,960 Speaker 1: if they will email us, I come and speak at 594 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:11,760 Speaker 1: those all the time. And I do corporate training, but 595 00:31:11,820 --> 00:31:14,360 Speaker 1: I never charge a church or a men's organization, ever. 596 00:31:15,010 --> 00:31:18,170 Speaker 1: I'll come and talk for free. Whatever you guys need, 597 00:31:18,650 --> 00:31:21,310 Speaker 1: I'm there. So you can connect that way. You can 598 00:31:21,330 --> 00:31:24,550 Speaker 1: go to coachchrishogan.com and book me to speak if you 599 00:31:24,590 --> 00:31:28,260 Speaker 1: want to, or atomicmasculinity.com. So I'm happy to come out 600 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:31,560 Speaker 1: and talk and just sharpen iron with men, do it 601 00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:33,720 Speaker 1: all the time. And I'll tell you that, that's kind 602 00:31:33,740 --> 00:31:36,460 Speaker 1: of part of my mission is helping men live on mission. 603 00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:41,090 Speaker 1: So atomicmasculinity.com, you can get all of that and connect 604 00:31:41,110 --> 00:31:41,910 Speaker 1: with me if you'd like to. 605 00:31:42,290 --> 00:31:46,090 Speaker 2: That's awesome. You still coaching football? I'm not. You're not? 606 00:31:46,170 --> 00:31:49,530 Speaker 1: Now I'm really just doing this. This is kind of 607 00:31:49,570 --> 00:31:54,130 Speaker 1: my thing right now. And I'm tailgating in the fall now. 608 00:31:54,170 --> 00:31:56,750 Speaker 1: So I celebrate with my family. And I smoke a 609 00:31:56,790 --> 00:31:58,450 Speaker 1: lot of brisket and a lot of ribs and watch 610 00:31:58,490 --> 00:31:59,150 Speaker 1: a lot of football. 611 00:31:59,570 --> 00:32:00,050 Speaker 2: That's good. 612 00:32:00,130 --> 00:32:01,130 Speaker 1: So it's awesome. 613 00:32:01,150 --> 00:32:03,950 Speaker 2: Thanks, man. I really appreciate you. And I look forward 614 00:32:03,990 --> 00:32:06,370 Speaker 2: to getting you back in the studio. And we'll have 615 00:32:06,590 --> 00:32:08,390 Speaker 2: maybe a longer sit down. But thank you for what 616 00:32:08,410 --> 00:32:12,550 Speaker 2: you're doing. And, man, thank you. Really appreciate it. 617 00:32:13,150 --> 00:32:14,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks for having me, buddy. Always a blessing.