Speaker 1: On today's episode of Timeless Wisdom.
Speaker 2: You have your good life with men who don't hold
Speaker 2: the door for you. I'll have a good life with
Speaker 2: a woman who wants me to hold the door for that.
Speaker 1: That's coming up on Timeless Wisdom, but Dennis Prager. Welcome
Speaker 1: to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.
Speaker 2: Here.
Speaker 1: Thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio
Speaker 1: programs had to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles. Go to
Speaker 1: Dennisprager dot com.
Speaker 2: I mean, the feminist rhetoric had gotten to the point
Speaker 2: where women were starting to believe that they were really
Speaker 2: men with women's bodies. Oh, we don't need men, and
Speaker 2: we don't need commitment from men. We could have just
Speaker 2: as non committed sex and enjoy it as men could. Now.
Speaker 2: When I was twenty one and heard this from a woman,
Speaker 2: I blessed God. I went on my knees. I couldn't
Speaker 2: believe it. A God, men have been waiting fourteen thousand
Speaker 2: years for women to believe such nonsense, and here I
Speaker 2: have it. I'm in college. Thank you Lord. What did
Speaker 2: I do to deserve them? Because I was always an
Speaker 2: ethical guy and I would never lead on a woman
Speaker 2: even at that eight no I love you, I love
Speaker 2: you to get her into bed and so on. But
Speaker 2: here they were saying, oh, you don't have to love me.
Speaker 2: I am just like a man. I can just enjoy
Speaker 2: the physical dexterity of it all, which was what they
Speaker 2: were told by by feminist rhetoric, and it didn't work
Speaker 2: out quite that way. To the most females happiness. You know,
Speaker 2: sex and the city he gives you. These hyper sex
Speaker 2: women talking sex all the time and so on. But
Speaker 2: of course in their private lives they're just getting married
Speaker 2: and having children. They lead utterly traditional fifties lives. They
Speaker 2: talk liberation, they talk feminism, they talk sex, and they
Speaker 2: lead monogamous married lives as mothers and wives. That's the
Speaker 2: irony of all of this. But people don't see that.
Speaker 2: They don't see the non exciting real life of Kim Katrel.
Speaker 2: They actually see the sexy character and sex in the city,
Speaker 2: and young women believe this this is the way a
Speaker 2: woman should be thinking and talking. I'm not with it.
Speaker 2: I'm not a normal woman if I'm not thinking and
Speaker 2: talking that way. But her real life, which is monogamous,
Speaker 2: loving a man and making a child, that's a non issue.
Speaker 2: They don't report it. It would hurt ratings. It's not exciting.
Speaker 2: So between the media and feminism, the messages to young
Speaker 2: women lot men, marriage home, that's for losers. You're a
Speaker 2: winner for you, it's noncommittal sex, a child anytime you
Speaker 2: want one, the hell with whether or not the child
Speaker 2: has a father. And of course, career, because career is
Speaker 2: the be all and end all of life. That is
Speaker 2: what gives you meaning. Really, really, it gives men meaning
Speaker 2: because men are wired differently. Conquering the outer world is
Speaker 2: meaningful to men. When men get fired, they are far
Speaker 2: more likely to get depressed and sue sidle than when
Speaker 2: women get fired. Because it is a masculine identity to work.
Speaker 2: Females can or can now work. It is a choice
Speaker 2: in their life, but it is not an identity giving
Speaker 2: fact work. And I'm not saying there isn't meaningful work
Speaker 2: that a woman. Of course there is. I mean to
Speaker 2: be absurd to deny that. But women are wired to
Speaker 2: want to make something with a partner. That's the way
Speaker 2: women are wired. What is wrong with that? Why is
Speaker 2: that not glamorous? Why is that less meaningful? That's why
Speaker 2: I've always called feminism, masculinism. It has no celebration of
Speaker 2: the feminine. It's a celebration of the masculine, and it
Speaker 2: applies his characteristics to her and calls it liberation. It
Speaker 2: is a tragedy. It is a tragedy. There is nothing
Speaker 2: wrong with marrying younger, nothing wrong. It's actually probably a
Speaker 2: good idea. But all of that is taught otherwise of
Speaker 2: the problem in that in the not marrying younger and
Speaker 2: song and not marrying at all for even more women
Speaker 2: is brings me the role to reason number seven, no roles.
Speaker 2: Our hyper intellectual society has said to men and women
Speaker 2: that there should be no male roles or no female roles.
Speaker 2: I don't know how many you've heard my broadcast on this,
Speaker 2: but it was a very interesting study reported by the
Speaker 2: Wall Street Journal. A man, a psychologist at the University
Speaker 2: of Washington, has been studying marriages, interestingly, studying good marriages
Speaker 2: as well as bad marriages, which is a very important
Speaker 2: thing to do his whole life. And again this is
Speaker 2: a professor with no traditional acts to grind. The greatest
Speaker 2: single predictor of a good marriage was if the marriage
Speaker 2: had traditional male female roles in it. Speaking from myself.
Speaker 2: I deeply believe that it makes so much sense to me.
Speaker 2: We pretty much have divvied up my wife and I
Speaker 2: various activities in the home. Not that there is never
Speaker 2: any cross work together, of course there is. But by
Speaker 2: and large she's the Minister of the interior and I'm
Speaker 2: a foreign minister, you know. And that's that's the way
Speaker 2: it works. I mean, it just it just is, and
Speaker 2: and it is very nice. I like that idea. I
Speaker 2: like roles. I like masculine things and feminine things.
Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.
Speaker 2: Okay, what's wrong with that? Why is the view that
Speaker 2: we are interchangeable good? Why is that considered liberated and smart?
Speaker 2: It's stupid and not liberated. It forces people into into
Speaker 2: things that we were told all people were forced into
Speaker 2: feminine and forced into masculine roles. But in fact, I
Speaker 2: think by and large, more is happening in the other direction,
Speaker 2: where you women are forced into masculine roles and men
Speaker 2: are being feminized, and nobody's happy about it. When I
Speaker 2: spoke to doctor Marmra before this talk today, as a
Speaker 2: psychiatrist who has people of all ages. He was telling
Speaker 2: me about a twenty eight year old single woman who
Speaker 2: was lamenting to him that she said, where did chivalry go?
Speaker 2: How come I can't meet a guy who will pay
Speaker 2: for dinner on a date? To me, I mean, I
Speaker 2: may sound much older than I am, but to me,
Speaker 2: the idea of mine not paying for a date when
Speaker 2: I had no money, I paid for dates. It would
Speaker 2: so be masculinizing from my identity that I wouldn't pay
Speaker 2: for a date. If I took out a millionaire, I
Speaker 2: would have paid for the date. It never occurred to me,
Speaker 2: and I heard all this liberation stuff. It was a
Speaker 2: non factor to me. Now you may disagree that's fine,
Speaker 2: but at least it can knowledge that that is the
Speaker 2: destruction of a gender role. I paid for the date,
Speaker 2: and I didn't pay for the date in the hope
Speaker 2: that if I pay for the date, that gets me
Speaker 2: to first base on the first date, second base on
Speaker 2: the second date, and so on. It was just that's
Speaker 2: I'm a man, I work. I want. This is my
Speaker 2: way of saying to you that I hope to one
Speaker 2: day support a family. That's what was in my mind
Speaker 2: even when I was twenty and I didn't marry till
Speaker 2: I was thirty two. But there was all I was
Speaker 2: like practicing as a single I was practicing to be
Speaker 2: a man. Boys practice to be men, girls practice to
Speaker 2: be women. And the idea that that's not saying that
Speaker 2: it would I would never allow. Even on the tenth
Speaker 2: day they said, you know what, I'd love to treat
Speaker 2: us tonight. Of course, I'm not locked into this with
Speaker 2: an unbreakable lock. But I like the idea of a
Speaker 2: masculine role in a feminine role. It keeps me more masculine,
Speaker 2: and it keeps the woman more feminine. Why would I
Speaker 2: want to marry a masculine woman. I could have a
Speaker 2: roommate for that, with none of the with none of
Speaker 2: the downsides. I mean, my god, it just I don't
Speaker 2: lot is the appeal of having somebody who does everything
Speaker 2: you do. I don't even understand it. Romantically. It doesn't
Speaker 2: make sense to me. And so this idea of no
Speaker 2: roles is another reason that people are marrying less because
Speaker 2: they're not seeing an other. You want to marry the
Speaker 2: other the opposite sex, not the same sex in a
Speaker 2: different body. You want to marry the opposite sex. With
Speaker 2: different traits. A masculine man, a feminine woman.
Speaker 1: God.
Speaker 2: You know, we just this morning my youngest son that
Speaker 2: was nine and a half. We let more than TV.
Speaker 2: We allow him to watch movies, and they usually older movies,
Speaker 2: like John Wayne movies. I happen to like John Wayne movies.
Speaker 2: For him. Let him see a guy who shoots bad guys.
Speaker 2: I like that model. I am primitive, I understand. But
Speaker 2: you know when I see John Wayne and his acting,
Speaker 2: and then you see some of the the you know,
Speaker 2: like Tom Cruise in some of the roles that he
Speaker 2: would have in his his old boyish countenance John Wayne.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm talking about the roles they played, not
Speaker 2: their individual lives. I have no comment on that, and
Speaker 2: that would be gossip and I don't do that. But
Speaker 2: just the roles they played. John Wayne was a man's
Speaker 2: man and Tom Cruise a woman's man. And that's the
Speaker 2: way it's sold. He's cute, he's gorgeous, he's clearly made
Speaker 2: his hair fall exactly right, and and and he's always
Speaker 2: called boyish? Was John Wayne ever called boyish? John Wayne
Speaker 2: is was mannish. And a lot of the women are
Speaker 2: the same. A lot of these the women are so
Speaker 2: non feminine. They may have great bodies, but that's but
Speaker 2: they're not feminine. There's none of what you would have
Speaker 2: associated with. So again I'm talking about the roles they play,
Speaker 2: not they realize where I don't know and I don't care.
Speaker 2: This too, is a reason for the not having more
Speaker 2: marriage today. There are few were masculine men, few were
Speaker 2: feminine women. There is more confusion. Confused people don't know
Speaker 2: how to bond, they don't know how to talk. Guys
Speaker 2: don't even know whether to hold the door for a woman.
Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.
Speaker 2: I remember when guys my age, I'm from the heyday
Speaker 2: of feminism, they would say, gee, I don't know do
Speaker 2: I hold the door for a woman. I had a
Speaker 2: very simple attitude, but I was very secure. I'm very lucky.
Speaker 2: God gave me innersecurity from a very early age. I
Speaker 2: flew from Miami to New York when I was seven alone.
Speaker 2: My parents came late to the airport. I had already
Speaker 2: gotten my luggage and tipped the porter. So I don't
Speaker 2: take any credit for it. That is my nature. I
Speaker 2: take care of myself, my life, have a good day.
Speaker 2: They were cracking up. The porter was already there. I
Speaker 2: was waiting for a taxi. I don't care if they
Speaker 2: came now. So I remember when, you know, when fellow
Speaker 2: male friends in college and said, yeah, don't know, I
Speaker 2: hold the door for a woman. You know, some women
Speaker 2: may resent it. I had a very simil If a
Speaker 2: woman resented that I held the door for her, that
Speaker 2: was the last date we went on. That was the
Speaker 2: end of the issue. No offense, but we're not for
Speaker 2: each other. But I was secure enough as it male,
Speaker 2: to say that you resent my holding the door for you,
Speaker 2: then obviously we don't have a future together. That's it,
Speaker 2: that's all. It's no big deal. You have your good
Speaker 2: life with men who don't hold the door for you.
Speaker 2: I'll have a good life with a woman who wants
Speaker 2: me to hold the door for her. But so many
Speaker 2: men have been cowered by feminist rhetoric or by well
Speaker 2: ball busting women. Forgive me for being so graphic that
Speaker 2: that they have just been coward into not knowing. Do
Speaker 2: what comes naturally to a man, Act like a man.
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean macho. Now, there are things men do
Speaker 2: on dates that d're I'm embarrassed to be a man.
Speaker 2: I was talking to a single woman who is widowed
Speaker 2: very early. There's a tragic situation with a husband at
Speaker 2: cancer at thirty and stating now an attractive woman. She
Speaker 2: tells me that a guy asked her on a second
Speaker 2: date whether or not she enjoys oral sex. That's an idiot.
Speaker 2: That man is a bona fide idiot. That's the other
Speaker 2: side of the of the extreme on the thing, what
Speaker 2: are you an animal? Well, the answer is yes, it's
Speaker 2: a rhetorical question. But the uh, I mean, my god,
Speaker 2: what a real man doesn't do that? You know, It's
Speaker 2: like I want to give lack. I feel bad saying
Speaker 2: this because I don't want to. I don't want to.
Speaker 2: I don't want to come across as better than anybody
Speaker 2: or anything like that. But maybe men need men lessons
Speaker 2: and women need from a good woman women lessons. But
Speaker 2: you don't talk like that kind of talk. Is that?
Speaker 2: I just don't understand that. How does a guy say that?
Speaker 2: What is you know, does he work for the Kinsey Institute.
Speaker 2: I just don't understand it. You know what she said
Speaker 2: it to me? I just I was I just dropped
Speaker 2: while was in my mouth. I was I couldn't believe it,
Speaker 2: but I do believe it. Too. Many women tell me
Speaker 2: these things. I know, sex is on guy's minds. I'm
Speaker 2: a guy, I know that, But my god, there's such
Speaker 2: a thing as called just having the appropriate behavior, not
Speaker 2: exactly wearing it on your sleeve at all times, having
Speaker 2: it develop in a more natural way than having a
Speaker 2: sex survey. On the second date, I just again, and
Speaker 2: theseus some of the things that go on, And it's
Speaker 2: part of it is the breakdown of rules because now
Speaker 2: men think, hey, women are.
Speaker 1: Just like us.
Speaker 2: Well, if women are just like us, then there's sex
Speaker 2: animals just like us too. Then, by golly, I want
Speaker 2: to know, if watch love, what variations on the uh
Speaker 2: on the coitist theme that you really like? On the
Speaker 2: second date, he thought he was a hero for waiting
Speaker 2: one day before topping the question. But I'm telling you
Speaker 2: it's part of the no role, no roles. Hey, if
Speaker 2: men are well like women and women are like men,
Speaker 2: then I don't have to guard my tongue, do I?
Speaker 2: Then I can just expose myself uh theoretically right or
Speaker 2: not literally, but expose what I'm thinking at any moment.
Speaker 2: After all, she's no different from me. The feminist told
Speaker 2: me that, life told me that, TV told me that.
Speaker 2: And finally, why people aren't getting married Number eight is
Speaker 2: the terrible, terrible narcissism that afflicts so many people, and
Speaker 2: it gets worse the longer you you don't get married.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's it's it's not a criticism, it's it's
Speaker 2: it was happening to me. I mean, it's just inevitable.
Speaker 2: I mean, you could be devoted to a million great causes,
Speaker 2: but if you have never I'm talking specifically to the
Speaker 2: never married, not those of you have divorced or been widowed.
Speaker 2: I have a dear friend in the Midwest. He is
Speaker 2: a wonderful man, a wonderful man, and gives his life
Speaker 2: to many causes. I really really like this guy, and
Speaker 2: he has never been married, and he just broke up
Speaker 2: in another relationship, and he's telling me it's funny as
Speaker 2: I watch his life progress, he said, Dennis, The truth is,
Speaker 2: I really like the life that I have set up
Speaker 2: for myself, and any woman right now is almost like
Speaker 2: an intruder. And I am sure that that is for
Speaker 2: a lot of women too, after a certain age, because
Speaker 2: there's a lot of bending you have to do for
Speaker 2: somebody else, a lot. It's very tough, and it's easier
Speaker 2: when you do it earlier than later. And as it is,
Speaker 2: we have a narcissistic society. Worrying about myself. I worry
Speaker 2: about me? What do I want? That's inevitable when you're alone?
Speaker 2: What else is there to worry about? As soon as
Speaker 2: you marry, it's cut in half the self perceptions. What
Speaker 2: does he want? What does she want? Do I have
Speaker 2: to be home? Not have to be home? I mean,
Speaker 2: did you hear? I don't know if you hurt. The
Speaker 2: couple just Friday called up. Was it was so sad.
Speaker 2: You know, they're having marital problems, which is inevitable, and
Speaker 2: they both respect me, so they called up. It was
Speaker 2: one of these the one hour a week I have
Speaker 2: call on anything. So here I was, you know, like
Speaker 2: a marital therapist, which by the way, instantly I've done
Speaker 2: twice in my life with two couples actually in my room,
Speaker 2: and it worked both times. And I have a not
Speaker 2: that I'm doing this for a living, but I have
Speaker 2: an approach which is behavioral. Rather than figuring out the
Speaker 2: psychological sources, just do behaviors. Behaviors change your psyche more
Speaker 2: than your psyche changes your behaviors, in my opinion. But anyway,
Speaker 2: I wasn't going to give them therapy on the era.
Speaker 2: Would be silly and irresponsible, I thought. But it was
Speaker 2: interesting what her issue was that he is now staying
Speaker 2: out late and not even calling home to tell her that.
Speaker 2: And you know, I don't know what he's doing, if
Speaker 2: he's messing around, or if he's working later, or whatever
Speaker 2: he's doing. But you owe it to your partner, to
Speaker 2: your wife to say, honey, she doesn't. You don't owe
Speaker 2: it to be in un aleash. A couple should give
Speaker 2: each other as much freedom as possible. I believe in
Speaker 2: that very deeply, very deeply. At the same time, you
Speaker 2: can't abuse the freedom and not say, honey, I'm at
Speaker 2: the office, I have to do ex reports and so on,
Speaker 2: and just stay out late and come home at midnight.
Speaker 2: You're not a bachelor, You're a married man. And obviously,
Speaker 2: in whatever way it would apply, it would apply to
Speaker 2: a woman too. The narcissism factor cannot be overstated. It
Speaker 2: is a very terrible factor. Those are some of the
Speaker 2: reasons that I believe that a lot of people are
Speaker 2: not getting married, and it is said because with all
Speaker 2: of its challenges and unhappinesses and tensions and so on,
Speaker 2: by and large, it's better for the person, and it's
Speaker 2: certainly better for society when people pair off and take
Speaker 2: responsibility for another person. I know that we don't even
Speaker 2: think in these terms today what's better for society. It's
Speaker 2: just what's better for me. And it's not even what's
Speaker 2: better for me, it's what's better for me right now.
Speaker 2: But over the long haul, making something bigger than yourself
Speaker 2: with somebody else is a good idea. And they're not
Speaker 2: going to be perfect, of course not, and you have
Speaker 2: to know which imperfections you can live with. But you
Speaker 2: know what, in most cases, people do get better, even
Speaker 2: people who had lousy marriages. I am convinced that for
Speaker 2: I'm not talking beatings, but people who had an unhappy
Speaker 2: marriage even and then divorced. Do you know that even
Speaker 2: they grew from their marriage. Ask anybody, almost anybody, are
Speaker 2: you a better person for having been married and divorced
Speaker 2: than for never having been married or divorced? Overwhelmingly they
Speaker 2: will say I am a better person for both. It
Speaker 2: was horrible. The divorce was just unbelievably traumatic, which most
Speaker 2: divorces are, especially if there are kids involved. But that's
Speaker 2: the question that really isn't asked, and that is to people,
Speaker 2: do I want to grow? It's easier not to grow
Speaker 2: than to grow. But I've always said on my tombstone,
Speaker 2: I don't want written here lies Dennis Prager, a man
Speaker 2: who avoided pain and didn't grow. I want it. Here's
Speaker 2: a guy who dived into everything life could possibly give,
Speaker 2: whatever he was lucky enough or even unlucky enough to experience.
Speaker 2: I was divorced. This is my second marriage, or married
Speaker 2: fourteen years this week in fact, and I will tell
Speaker 2: you thank you. And you know it was hard, the divorce.
Speaker 2: It was very hard. But I learned so much from it.
Speaker 2: I learned so much it made it made my second
Speaker 2: marriage possible. In fact, I didn't look at divorce as oh, man,
Speaker 2: i've been burned. I'm avoiding this this institution. My whole
Speaker 2: mindset was now I got to figure out why I
Speaker 2: screwed up. And I went for psychotherapy, and I learned
Speaker 2: a lot more about me that I was not open
Speaker 2: to learning before that. Pain. Nothing like pain to open
Speaker 2: you up to learning about yourself. When the people ever
Speaker 2: go with therapy when they're really in enough pain to
Speaker 2: finally enter a therapist's office. And you know, I believe
Speaker 2: in religion and therapy ball as many of the religious
Speaker 2: that I believe in therapy. It bothers many of the
Speaker 2: secular that I believe in religion. But I believe in both,
Speaker 2: and they have both played very good roles in my life.
Speaker 2: And so I realized, oh, that's why I did that.
Speaker 2: Oh that's it. Uh, instead of spending the whole time
Speaker 2: thinking what a jerk I married, I didn't marry a jerk.
Speaker 2: I did not I didn't feel it then, I don't
Speaker 2: feel it now. I didn't marry a jerk. I married
Speaker 2: someone I shouldn't have married if I wanted to make
Speaker 2: a good marriage. But she did the same thing. She
Speaker 2: all will marry wrong. It wasn't just me. And by
Speaker 2: not spending my time afterwards thinking what a jerk I married,
Speaker 2: but hey, how did I make that mistake in the
Speaker 2: marriage and what I did in marriage, then I could
Speaker 2: work one out. I didn't decide, oh, marriage isn't for me.
Speaker 2: I decided I'll do better next time. Isn't that the
Speaker 2: better way to look at things? So I invite you
Speaker 2: to ask yourself which of these eight, if any, apply
Speaker 2: to you, or to apply to friends that you might know,
Speaker 2: because this is something to think about. And please throw
Speaker 2: away the image of ten, because tens don't stay tens anyway.
Speaker 2: You don't know how many sixes become tens when you
Speaker 2: love them, and you don't know how many tens become
Speaker 2: twos when you don't love them. So get rid of
Speaker 2: that idea. Good luck, Thank.
Speaker 1: You very much this episode of Timeless Wisdom. We'll continue
Speaker 1: right after this. Now back to more of Dennis Fragger's
Speaker 1: timeless wisdom.
Speaker 2: Does anybody have If not, that's okay, But if you
Speaker 2: want to ask me anything, by the way, it could
Speaker 2: be on anything you want. You might have heard from
Speaker 2: the radio. It's a time when we're together. But it's
Speaker 2: quite all right with me. I don't don't don't worry
Speaker 2: about my feelings. If you don't have questions, it's not
Speaker 2: it's not an issue. Yes, the other dam this man
Speaker 2: we meet halfway listen out of the gas I need
Speaker 2: to stop at the gas station. We go to the
Speaker 2: gas station and I just stood there. And when you're
Speaker 2: do it, guys, you will want to be talk my gas. Well,
Speaker 2: don't you know how to do it? When I'm alone?
Speaker 2: I do it. But I thought it was like a
Speaker 2: would have been a nice gesture of people, say, if
Speaker 2: you're a likely yeah, if you look at you do it. Well,
Speaker 2: that's right. Well here was I don't remember pumping women's gas.
Speaker 2: But the reason literally in the gas station there were
Speaker 2: no uh, no variations on a theme with that comment.
Speaker 2: But I want to tell you the reason that I
Speaker 2: now remember pump. She had she met a man on
Speaker 2: a date recently. They met halfway, she ran out of gas,
Speaker 2: and she wanted him to pump her gas. You're the
Speaker 2: guy pumpin gas. Okay, Now she want to smell from right,
Speaker 2: You didn't want to smell from it? Why can't you
Speaker 2: smell from it? Okay, fine, all right, fair enough. A
Speaker 2: man who smells like gasoline is a man, and let's
Speaker 2: be honest. Anyway, Frankly, I ride a smell on gasoline
Speaker 2: and have my dates smell like gasoline. So I mean,
Speaker 2: if I first came to shove, that would be alright
Speaker 2: with me. But the but here's an interesting See, here's
Speaker 2: the reason I'm trying to relate personally, is we all
Speaker 2: do when we hear these very personal issues obviously, so
Speaker 2: I'm thinking, gee, did I ever pump a date gasoline?
Speaker 2: But then I realized I always picked up a date
Speaker 2: at her home so or at our place of work,
Speaker 2: So it never arose as an issue now that I
Speaker 2: think of it, only because of that. Now, I'm not
Speaker 2: saying that that's the way it has to be now.
Speaker 2: But and maybe there are women who don't want to
Speaker 2: be picked up at home for obvious security reasons. So
Speaker 2: I understand that, But I don't know if what is
Speaker 2: interesting is his reaction was, you know, why can't you
Speaker 2: pump your own gas? Yes, a sort of offers let
Speaker 2: me do what I mean to meet him halfway? Right,
Speaker 2: pay for my gas? So I drove, you know, an
Speaker 2: hour out of the find at least you right. Well,
Speaker 2: that's an interesting one. He should have even offer to
Speaker 2: pay for the gas. She drove an hour out of
Speaker 2: her way. That listen. What the issue was not the specifics.
Speaker 2: The issue was the mindset. The mindset of many men,
Speaker 2: as doctor Marvel was telling me from his patients, is hey,
Speaker 2: you women want equality? Okay, here it is take up
Speaker 2: your minds? Do you want equality? Which has come to
Speaker 2: mean saneness, not equality. Everybody believe anybody needs and believes
Speaker 2: in equality. But so which is it if? And so men,
Speaker 2: A lot of men are confused, a lot of women
Speaker 2: are confused. And that's why I believe that we have
Speaker 2: paid a terrible price for the utter abandonment of any
Speaker 2: gender roles of chivalry. Uh you know, I mean, there's
Speaker 2: no mystery in the opposite sex even anymore. I did
Speaker 2: a show on this last week about co ed dorms
Speaker 2: at college. What the hell is that about? So, so,
Speaker 2: what is the gain? What is the big gain? So
Speaker 2: people called me up and said, oh, Dennis, it is
Speaker 2: a big gain. I still have girlfriends from college that
Speaker 2: I met in my dorm, and I was thinking, as
Speaker 2: your wife happy about that? I mean, I mean, you know,
Speaker 2: I'm I'm not a big believer in opposite sex platonic
Speaker 2: front friendship. I believe deeply in friends, but I believe
Speaker 2: the friends should be the same I I I'm I'm
Speaker 2: very suspicious that s because there's somebody wants something more
Speaker 2: because guys, and if guys really do open up and
Speaker 2: talk guy talk to a girl, how defeminizing that is
Speaker 2: of the girl. I mean, you know, it's just there's
Speaker 2: something awry here going on here with all that's just
Speaker 2: it's just all a matter of uh, you know, friendship
Speaker 2: and so on. That's what happened. There was again the
Speaker 2: guy doesn't know. Are you women like us or not
Speaker 2: like us? Okay, yes, alright, give a give it Mike fine.
Speaker 2: Hold on.
Speaker 1: Lenny talking about when I hear you last week talking
Speaker 1: about men that we're afraid of being.
Speaker 2: Side of love follow.
Speaker 1: And that.
Speaker 2: Important because I may, I say, you, old baby, that's
Speaker 2: help me. My mother used to mention when I was
Speaker 2: a child, and that's one of the things you told
Speaker 2: me when I got married. She gave me is a
Speaker 2: little harder and this little thing, you know, like a
Speaker 2: never sign in police. He do. And so that was
Speaker 2: an important data, he said, because we are just afraid
Speaker 2: today to.
Speaker 1: Criticize one another and not thinking out the other person's.
Speaker 2: Feel That's an area where women have. Every Each sex
Speaker 2: has its own battles to fight itself to make themselves
Speaker 2: better and make a better relationship. One of the things
Speaker 2: women have to watch out for is their tendency to
Speaker 2: constantly try to make their man better. Uh, it is
Speaker 2: a natural I can I'm convinced female tendency. I want
Speaker 2: him to be perfect, and I I, by golly, I'll
Speaker 2: make him perfect, even if I drive both of us crazy.
Speaker 2: Uh I Almost every marriage has this, and it's a
Speaker 2: everything is a fine line in life. On the one hand,
Speaker 2: you don't want to be a doormat. Oh, darling, that
Speaker 2: was beautiful the way you rammed into that car. Obviously
Speaker 2: that's ridiculous. On the other hand, you know, Bruce Hrchinson,
Speaker 2: whom I adore, has a great line. And I'm actually
Speaker 2: did a whole show on this, he said Dennis, I
Speaker 2: am rewriting the biblical narrative as follows in the beginning,
Speaker 2: God created man and critics, and so it obviously is
Speaker 2: fairly universal an issue, and women have to watch that,
Speaker 2: you know. I finally told my wife, who is not
Speaker 2: particularly guilty of this but is a female, and as
Speaker 2: I am guilty of male things, And I just said
Speaker 2: the other I said the other day, I think the
Speaker 2: next time we drive, I'm going to have you in
Speaker 2: the backseat. I will be your butler. You know, you
Speaker 2: can call me James. But she truly believes I'm the
Speaker 2: worst drive her in America. She truly believes that. She
Speaker 2: thinks that it is a proof of God's existence that
Speaker 2: I do not crash every time we drive. I want
Speaker 2: you to understand, I have driven probably a million miles
Speaker 2: in my lifetime and I and the last time I crashed,
Speaker 2: I was twenty two years old. I'm fifty four. So
Speaker 2: either God really is protecting me, which is what she believes,
Speaker 2: or I don't drive nearly as badly as she thinks,
Speaker 2: which is what I believe. But so it is an
Speaker 2: endemic to marriage that this happens. Okay, yes, great people
Speaker 2: will not marry or during the mountains and whatever relation
Speaker 2: into relationship and wait for the biologically both as can't
Speaker 2: stay this.
Speaker 1: All the time.
Speaker 2: I also see that now and Joe an excitement that
Speaker 2: maybe you say that maybe also all around love. That's right,
Speaker 2: God bless you. That is such a valuable point. That's right.
Speaker 2: When there's no adrenaline, people think they fell out of love.
Speaker 2: They fell out of adrenaline, and that's right. But look,
Speaker 2: I mean, a mature person recognizes that there are highs
Speaker 2: available when two people meet that are only sometimes replicable
Speaker 2: later on. It is almost like saying, you know, my
Speaker 2: baby was born and now he's in his terrible twos
Speaker 2: and I just don't feel the excitement seeing him as
Speaker 2: I did on the day he was born. Well, you're
Speaker 2: an idiot if you expect to have that excitement. Maybe
Speaker 2: you know, you'll have it at his wedding, You'll have it,
Speaker 2: you know, at his high school graduation, or maybe I
Speaker 2: don't know a lot, but the daily life is not available.
Speaker 2: Those things are not available in daily life, nor should
Speaker 2: they be aspired to. That's why I'm saying. Excitement must
Speaker 2: be found in many areas, and the more you have,
Speaker 2: the better it is. I'll never forget. I have a
Speaker 2: lot of hobbies, and they truly are valuable to me.
Speaker 2: In valuable to me. And a friend of mine once
Speaker 2: saw me many years ago pouring over I'm no longer
Speaker 2: into it near I no longer I have other hobbies. But,
Speaker 2: believe it or not, I had a stamp collection, which
Speaker 2: is really quaint today, and I was, you know, I
Speaker 2: was putting in these new issues that were sent and
Speaker 2: I collected propaganda stamps from communist countries. Is fascinating anyway,
Speaker 2: and I found it fascinating, and I'll never forget. My
Speaker 2: friend came into my office and he looked at me,
Speaker 2: and he goes, you know, our friend so and so
Speaker 2: and I were just talking and we envy you. You
Speaker 2: really can tune out with your hobbies. And it's true
Speaker 2: I can, and you know, and people need to find
Speaker 2: a lot of areas. You can't put all your eggs
Speaker 2: even in the marital basket. You can't put them all
Speaker 2: in the sex basket. You can't put them all in
Speaker 2: the fun basket. You can't put them all in the
Speaker 2: children's basket. The more baskets you have, the better your
Speaker 2: life will be.
Speaker 1: Tomorrow on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Praeger.
Speaker 3: Thank you, doctor Prager, your wisdom and your sage advice
Speaker 3: that I have been listening to for months and months
Speaker 3: and years. Finally today I'll let you know how much
Speaker 3: I appreciate you.
Speaker 2: Well, that's very kind. Really, it touches me. Thank you.
Speaker 2: By the way, for the record, I'm not a doctor.
Speaker 2: It's just for the record.
Speaker 1: Join us tomorrow to hear more on Timeless Wisdom with
Speaker 1: Dennis Prager.