1 00:00:20,196 --> 00:00:23,236 Speaker 1: Hi friend, I'm so glad you're here today. Let's learn 2 00:00:23,276 --> 00:00:26,916 Speaker 1: how to raise our kids to love God, respect authority, 3 00:00:27,196 --> 00:00:31,036 Speaker 1: and do what's right. Let's scroll less and live more. 4 00:00:31,356 --> 00:00:37,995 Speaker 1: I'm Arlene Pelicane and this is the Happy Home. On 5 00:00:38,076 --> 00:00:40,596 Speaker 1: today's show, we're going to be talking about a few 6 00:00:40,676 --> 00:00:43,956 Speaker 1: mature topics, so if you have little ones nearby, you 7 00:00:44,036 --> 00:00:46,356 Speaker 1: may want to listen to this at a different time. 8 00:00:47,076 --> 00:00:50,595 Speaker 1: I am so happy to be joined by Kristin Jensen. 9 00:00:50,915 --> 00:00:54,476 Speaker 1: She is the founder of Defend Young Minds, and I'm 10 00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:55,076 Speaker 1: kind of. 11 00:00:55,636 --> 00:00:57,916 Speaker 2: Sad but happy to have her. This is the reason. 12 00:00:57,996 --> 00:01:01,596 Speaker 1: I'm sad that we need to have these conversations, but 13 00:01:01,715 --> 00:01:04,516 Speaker 1: I'm really happy that she has given us what we 14 00:01:04,556 --> 00:01:08,956 Speaker 1: need to talk to our kids about some hard subjects. Today, 15 00:01:08,956 --> 00:01:12,075 Speaker 1: we're going to talk about pornography and her books, her 16 00:01:12,196 --> 00:01:16,236 Speaker 1: children's books both for kids and like older kids, and 17 00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:20,116 Speaker 1: then the junior version Good Pictures, Bad Pictures. Many of 18 00:01:20,156 --> 00:01:22,716 Speaker 1: you are already familiar with that, over three hundred and 19 00:01:22,756 --> 00:01:25,996 Speaker 1: eighty thousand copies sold, and today we're talking about her 20 00:01:26,036 --> 00:01:29,755 Speaker 1: newest book that's just for girls, Good Pictures, Bad Pictures 21 00:01:30,116 --> 00:01:35,475 Speaker 1: Guide for Girls, How I Stay safe, smart and confident. Kristin, 22 00:01:35,556 --> 00:01:37,556 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Happy Home Podcast. 23 00:01:37,875 --> 00:01:40,996 Speaker 3: Thank you so much, Arline. I'm so happy to be here. 24 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:45,515 Speaker 1: So let's start here. Why girls, why did you decide, Hey, 25 00:01:45,556 --> 00:01:47,956 Speaker 1: you know what, there's an unppoke, there's a need here. 26 00:01:47,996 --> 00:01:50,156 Speaker 1: What was that need and why did you decide to 27 00:01:50,196 --> 00:01:50,516 Speaker 1: do it? 28 00:01:51,676 --> 00:01:54,395 Speaker 3: Well, it's been a long time in coming, because over 29 00:01:54,476 --> 00:01:59,196 Speaker 3: ten years ago we started having conversations with women who 30 00:01:59,316 --> 00:02:04,796 Speaker 3: had been addicted to pornography, various kinds of pornography. Maybe 31 00:02:04,796 --> 00:02:10,036 Speaker 3: it started with romance novels. Maybe it ended up in video. 32 00:02:10,516 --> 00:02:16,596 Speaker 3: Maybe it was with hentai, which is anime porn. But 33 00:02:16,876 --> 00:02:19,676 Speaker 3: this is ten years ago. They have been you know, 34 00:02:20,356 --> 00:02:24,756 Speaker 3: they had been exposed as children, and then that interest 35 00:02:25,596 --> 00:02:31,396 Speaker 3: sparked more curiosity and where there was no talking to them, 36 00:02:31,956 --> 00:02:35,956 Speaker 3: nobody was telling them anything, nobody was warning them. 37 00:02:36,476 --> 00:02:37,596 Speaker 2: It led to. 38 00:02:39,276 --> 00:02:42,115 Speaker 3: With some of them, you know, very long term addictions 39 00:02:42,716 --> 00:02:49,276 Speaker 3: and even them acting out on younger children, family members, cousins, 40 00:02:49,316 --> 00:02:53,875 Speaker 3: and so some very severe consequences. And this was ten 41 00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:58,396 Speaker 3: years ago. And I started talking to women, and then 42 00:02:58,476 --> 00:03:01,636 Speaker 3: I had parents coming to me saying, could you make 43 00:03:01,675 --> 00:03:04,916 Speaker 3: a girls version, because you know, I want to read 44 00:03:04,956 --> 00:03:08,275 Speaker 3: this to my daughter. And I have, but it would 45 00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:12,275 Speaker 3: really be good if she saw girls, you know, having 46 00:03:12,316 --> 00:03:16,675 Speaker 3: this conversation with their mom, not just boys. And so 47 00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:23,116 Speaker 3: I started in that way, basically seeing the problem, hearing 48 00:03:23,196 --> 00:03:26,956 Speaker 3: about it firsthand from women who had been addicted. And 49 00:03:26,996 --> 00:03:30,155 Speaker 3: to be honest, when I heard I was a little 50 00:03:30,196 --> 00:03:35,436 Speaker 3: surprised too. I had believed that pornography was just a 51 00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:40,756 Speaker 3: guy problem, had not a human problem. 52 00:03:40,196 --> 00:03:43,516 Speaker 1: And that's a hurdle for us to realize that, Okay, 53 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:45,956 Speaker 1: this could be our son or our daughter. 54 00:03:46,836 --> 00:03:48,036 Speaker 2: I really like how in. 55 00:03:47,996 --> 00:03:51,716 Speaker 1: The book you talk about that it's not just videos, 56 00:03:51,756 --> 00:03:54,636 Speaker 1: it's not just images. It could be things that we're 57 00:03:54,676 --> 00:03:58,396 Speaker 1: reading and the images that we're making up in our 58 00:03:58,436 --> 00:04:01,116 Speaker 1: own mind, because that's a huge thing. And we don't 59 00:04:01,156 --> 00:04:04,956 Speaker 1: talk about that the whole romance novels all the and 60 00:04:04,996 --> 00:04:07,076 Speaker 1: we don't think when we have a book next to 61 00:04:07,156 --> 00:04:11,716 Speaker 1: us that that's pornography. But you very rightly point out 62 00:04:11,756 --> 00:04:13,596 Speaker 1: that it certainly can be. And that's a good thing 63 00:04:13,636 --> 00:04:14,755 Speaker 1: to alert girls. 64 00:04:14,436 --> 00:04:20,876 Speaker 3: To absolutely, And books will teach this same toxic messages 65 00:04:21,396 --> 00:04:25,676 Speaker 3: of pornography that the videos will, and again it creates 66 00:04:25,756 --> 00:04:31,596 Speaker 3: those pictures in the mind, teaches those toxic messages of 67 00:04:31,636 --> 00:04:41,276 Speaker 3: objectification and really disempowerment for girls, and we have to 68 00:04:42,195 --> 00:04:46,756 Speaker 3: begin these conversations because we cannot protect girls by leaving them, 69 00:04:47,195 --> 00:04:48,716 Speaker 3: by leaving them out of the conversation. 70 00:04:49,676 --> 00:04:52,676 Speaker 1: Your book is for what age would be the ideal 71 00:04:52,716 --> 00:04:54,716 Speaker 1: age for a mom to read this with her daughter. 72 00:04:55,636 --> 00:04:59,156 Speaker 3: Well, I could see reading this with a girl as 73 00:04:59,156 --> 00:05:03,755 Speaker 3: young as seven and on up to twelve. Although I've 74 00:05:03,796 --> 00:05:07,356 Speaker 3: had already had people say I'm having my tea, I'm 75 00:05:07,356 --> 00:05:11,116 Speaker 3: going over this with my teenage girls because it points 76 00:05:11,156 --> 00:05:17,835 Speaker 3: out so clearly the objectification issues and also the issues 77 00:05:17,876 --> 00:05:23,516 Speaker 3: with some of this. Now, I'm not opposed to romance novels. 78 00:05:24,156 --> 00:05:29,076 Speaker 3: I just finished reading three of them. We're very clean, yes, right, 79 00:05:29,276 --> 00:05:32,035 Speaker 3: and I think I've had my fill for a while, 80 00:05:32,116 --> 00:05:34,516 Speaker 3: but I mean not my favorite genre. But I have 81 00:05:35,116 --> 00:05:39,236 Speaker 3: read them, and I see their appeal for girls because 82 00:05:39,236 --> 00:05:45,036 Speaker 3: we are interested in relationships and falling in love, and 83 00:05:45,116 --> 00:05:49,876 Speaker 3: we're very you know, that's sweet, and that's natural and normal. 84 00:05:50,315 --> 00:05:53,916 Speaker 3: But what pornography does is take what is beautiful and 85 00:05:54,036 --> 00:05:57,796 Speaker 3: natural and normal and spin it, you know, one hundred 86 00:05:57,796 --> 00:06:03,195 Speaker 3: and eighty degrees to where it's toxic, where it's poisons, 87 00:06:03,636 --> 00:06:09,996 Speaker 3: where it's violence, and where it's really harmful. Yeah, and 88 00:06:10,076 --> 00:06:14,356 Speaker 3: it does the same thing in a story form that 89 00:06:14,556 --> 00:06:19,635 Speaker 3: girls it's packaged for them. It's become packaged for them. 90 00:06:20,036 --> 00:06:23,436 Speaker 3: And so our girls have become much more vulnerable to 91 00:06:24,116 --> 00:06:27,796 Speaker 3: being pulled into pornography. And I'll say when we're thing Arlene, Yeah, 92 00:06:27,836 --> 00:06:31,596 Speaker 3: they will start maybe with some stories, but where they 93 00:06:31,716 --> 00:06:35,755 Speaker 3: end up can be a totally different place. They can 94 00:06:36,076 --> 00:06:41,436 Speaker 3: easily end up looking at the video the hardcore and 95 00:06:41,636 --> 00:06:44,835 Speaker 3: being and having that addiction process begin. 96 00:06:45,156 --> 00:06:48,036 Speaker 1: Yeah, and we're going to talk about how to have 97 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:51,676 Speaker 1: these conversations with our older girls maybe and even younger 98 00:06:51,716 --> 00:06:54,476 Speaker 1: girls before we get there. What I love about the 99 00:06:54,516 --> 00:06:57,515 Speaker 1: book is it's something you can read alongside, so it 100 00:06:57,556 --> 00:07:00,036 Speaker 1: takes all the awkward out instead of thinking, Okay, I'm 101 00:07:00,076 --> 00:07:02,956 Speaker 1: a mom and I need to have this conversation with 102 00:07:02,996 --> 00:07:04,716 Speaker 1: my daughter, but I have no idea what to say, 103 00:07:04,796 --> 00:07:06,636 Speaker 1: and I don't know how to I don't know how 104 00:07:06,636 --> 00:07:09,476 Speaker 1: to define objectification, like I don't know how to do 105 00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:12,436 Speaker 1: these things. And you take all the guest work out 106 00:07:12,636 --> 00:07:15,196 Speaker 1: and you make it this story where this mom and 107 00:07:15,276 --> 00:07:18,596 Speaker 1: this daughter are talking together. So kudos on that, because 108 00:07:18,596 --> 00:07:23,556 Speaker 1: that's so so good. Let's talk about this. Some moms 109 00:07:23,596 --> 00:07:26,116 Speaker 1: will say and dads. You know, I don't want to 110 00:07:26,156 --> 00:07:29,956 Speaker 1: introduce this to my daughter because she's so innocent, right, 111 00:07:29,996 --> 00:07:34,196 Speaker 1: I don't want to be there too early. And yet 112 00:07:34,276 --> 00:07:36,516 Speaker 1: we can see in research like, hey, it is not 113 00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:39,436 Speaker 1: too early, because girls are getting these messages really soon. 114 00:07:39,476 --> 00:07:41,436 Speaker 1: What would you say to that parent who says like, 115 00:07:41,476 --> 00:07:42,996 Speaker 1: I want to keep my child innocent. 116 00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:48,596 Speaker 3: I totally understand that need. I have two daughters myself, 117 00:07:49,516 --> 00:07:54,556 Speaker 3: and I totally understand why we want to protect their innocence. 118 00:07:55,356 --> 00:07:57,516 Speaker 4: But this is the. 119 00:07:59,076 --> 00:08:03,556 Speaker 3: Paradox, or the irony that the more you teach them, 120 00:08:04,036 --> 00:08:06,476 Speaker 3: and the more you warn them and give them tools 121 00:08:06,516 --> 00:08:10,756 Speaker 3: to reject pornography, the more they protect their own innocent 122 00:08:10,876 --> 00:08:13,756 Speaker 3: That's so good. And I'll tell you there was eleven 123 00:08:13,836 --> 00:08:16,196 Speaker 3: year old girl. Her mother had read her good pictures, 124 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:20,556 Speaker 3: bad pictures. She had this information, she knew what it was, 125 00:08:21,356 --> 00:08:23,236 Speaker 3: she knew it was harmful, and she knew what to 126 00:08:23,316 --> 00:08:26,636 Speaker 3: do when she saw it. And she was sitting next 127 00:08:26,676 --> 00:08:29,796 Speaker 3: to a friend on a school bus and they were 128 00:08:30,036 --> 00:08:34,556 Speaker 3: going to a field trip and another student came up 129 00:08:35,156 --> 00:08:44,155 Speaker 3: showed them pornography on a phone, and the eleven year 130 00:08:44,156 --> 00:08:47,076 Speaker 3: old that had been warned, she was like, no, no, 131 00:08:48,116 --> 00:08:52,796 Speaker 3: not gonna look at that. The other girl, though, continued 132 00:08:52,876 --> 00:08:56,756 Speaker 3: to look. So let me ask you that which of 133 00:08:56,796 --> 00:09:01,316 Speaker 3: those two girls are going to protect their innocence and 134 00:09:01,356 --> 00:09:04,636 Speaker 3: are going to be safer from that influence. It's the 135 00:09:04,636 --> 00:09:07,116 Speaker 3: one that had been warned, not the one that was 136 00:09:07,156 --> 00:09:07,916 Speaker 3: caught off guard. 137 00:09:08,396 --> 00:09:10,076 Speaker 2: Oh so good, you know. 138 00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:14,636 Speaker 1: It's that idea that whoever gets there first gets to 139 00:09:14,676 --> 00:09:17,636 Speaker 1: put the worldview in. So if you, as a parent, 140 00:09:18,036 --> 00:09:20,836 Speaker 1: get to show, like, hey, there are parts of the body. 141 00:09:20,876 --> 00:09:24,916 Speaker 1: The body is created beautifully by God. It's wonderful, but 142 00:09:24,996 --> 00:09:27,156 Speaker 1: there are parts of it. They're private and should not 143 00:09:27,196 --> 00:09:29,716 Speaker 1: be shown. And if you're ever shown this, you need 144 00:09:29,756 --> 00:09:32,476 Speaker 1: to look away, and you can tell a trusted adult 145 00:09:32,556 --> 00:09:34,436 Speaker 1: you're not going to get in trouble, right, you've had 146 00:09:34,476 --> 00:09:38,516 Speaker 1: that conversation and that this is harmful, this will hurt you. 147 00:09:38,636 --> 00:09:41,116 Speaker 1: Those are private things that shouldn't be shown. Then that 148 00:09:41,236 --> 00:09:45,236 Speaker 1: girl goes into all those situations thinking that versus if 149 00:09:45,276 --> 00:09:48,356 Speaker 1: you never have that conversation and the first thing she 150 00:09:48,476 --> 00:09:52,276 Speaker 1: gets about this is that field trip and looking at it, 151 00:09:52,916 --> 00:09:55,716 Speaker 1: then of course she's gonna be curious, and then she's 152 00:09:55,756 --> 00:09:57,916 Speaker 1: gonna be ashamed, and then she's not gonna want to 153 00:09:57,956 --> 00:10:01,276 Speaker 1: talk about it. And all those things. So I think 154 00:10:01,316 --> 00:10:04,156 Speaker 1: what you have done through the picture books is just 155 00:10:04,476 --> 00:10:07,956 Speaker 1: phenomenal to give parents to let them say, let's be 156 00:10:07,996 --> 00:10:08,276 Speaker 1: the first. 157 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:08,636 Speaker 2: Okay. 158 00:10:08,996 --> 00:10:12,196 Speaker 1: So the tagline on the book is how to stay safe, 159 00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:15,756 Speaker 1: smart and confident. And let's just it's a heavy topic, 160 00:10:15,836 --> 00:10:18,516 Speaker 1: but let's just get excited a little bit that your daughter, 161 00:10:18,556 --> 00:10:22,076 Speaker 1: because you listening to this, may be safe and smart 162 00:10:22,116 --> 00:10:24,996 Speaker 1: and confident. Speak to that, like what you have seen 163 00:10:25,036 --> 00:10:26,076 Speaker 1: when kids are prepared. 164 00:10:27,636 --> 00:10:31,076 Speaker 3: Absolutely well, let me just take one step back first, 165 00:10:31,716 --> 00:10:34,876 Speaker 3: when a parent, a mom is reading this book to 166 00:10:34,956 --> 00:10:40,436 Speaker 3: her daughter, it is normalizing these conversations, right. It is 167 00:10:40,956 --> 00:10:45,956 Speaker 3: showing a mom being proactive. Right, So it's helping that 168 00:10:46,076 --> 00:10:49,836 Speaker 3: mom because it's modeling that and it's okay to talk 169 00:10:49,876 --> 00:10:54,476 Speaker 3: about it. There's no shame in talking about pornography. Pornography 170 00:10:54,516 --> 00:10:57,756 Speaker 3: is shameful, but there's no shame in talking about it. 171 00:10:59,476 --> 00:11:03,316 Speaker 3: But going back to how it's going to help your 172 00:11:03,436 --> 00:11:09,396 Speaker 3: daughter be safe, smart, and confident. First of all, there 173 00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:15,156 Speaker 3: are multiple and more and more studies that show that 174 00:11:15,356 --> 00:11:20,636 Speaker 3: girls that view pornography get into sex earlier, and they 175 00:11:20,716 --> 00:11:28,196 Speaker 3: engage in much riskier sexual acts. They accept sexual violence 176 00:11:29,116 --> 00:11:33,476 Speaker 3: more readily as normal, right, because that's what pornography does. 177 00:11:33,516 --> 00:11:42,276 Speaker 3: It normalizes sexual violence and so the safety of children. Also, 178 00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:48,756 Speaker 3: pornography is a grooming tool of predators, and it's my opinion, 179 00:11:48,836 --> 00:11:51,556 Speaker 3: is the number one groomy tool because why wouldn't it be. 180 00:11:53,076 --> 00:11:59,276 Speaker 3: And there I have multiple stories of children who were 181 00:12:00,036 --> 00:12:04,756 Speaker 3: read good pictures, bad pictures, then a predator actually approached 182 00:12:04,756 --> 00:12:09,956 Speaker 3: them showing them pornography, and then they absolutely turned away. 183 00:12:10,076 --> 00:12:13,556 Speaker 3: They knew exactly what to do and they saved themselves. 184 00:12:14,156 --> 00:12:16,276 Speaker 3: So if you want to keep your daughter a little 185 00:12:16,276 --> 00:12:22,276 Speaker 3: safer from how you know, hands on direct sexual abuse situation, 186 00:12:23,236 --> 00:12:28,836 Speaker 3: definitely warn her about pornography. Yeah, and then it's smart 187 00:12:29,596 --> 00:12:34,316 Speaker 3: and there is there's also a lot of well, we 188 00:12:34,356 --> 00:12:36,276 Speaker 3: want to want to keep her smart by having her 189 00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:39,396 Speaker 3: understand how the brain works, right, and how the brain 190 00:12:39,436 --> 00:12:43,156 Speaker 3: can become addicted to pornography as well as other things. Right, 191 00:12:43,436 --> 00:12:46,756 Speaker 3: we live in a world that's just a wash with 192 00:12:46,916 --> 00:12:52,556 Speaker 3: addictive behaviors, So understanding how the brain becomes addicted and 193 00:12:53,036 --> 00:12:57,676 Speaker 3: how we can keep the brain from becoming addicted that 194 00:12:57,796 --> 00:13:00,556 Speaker 3: is really really important that helps her stay smart. But 195 00:13:00,596 --> 00:13:04,676 Speaker 3: there's some really interesting studies that show that girls that 196 00:13:04,756 --> 00:13:11,956 Speaker 3: are hyper like concerned about their appearance, right, and focus 197 00:13:11,996 --> 00:13:16,556 Speaker 3: a lot on that they actually have cognitive delays. So, 198 00:13:17,556 --> 00:13:21,916 Speaker 3: you know, let's help our daughters be smart and move 199 00:13:21,996 --> 00:13:25,956 Speaker 3: beyond that. I you know, I have no problem obviously, 200 00:13:26,356 --> 00:13:29,236 Speaker 3: you know I put a little lipstick on myself, right right, 201 00:13:29,756 --> 00:13:31,596 Speaker 3: But that's not that's not what we're talking. 202 00:13:31,756 --> 00:13:34,716 Speaker 1: It wasn't true about this. It wasn't two hours in front. 203 00:13:34,476 --> 00:13:35,476 Speaker 2: Of a mirror it was and. 204 00:13:35,476 --> 00:13:41,156 Speaker 3: It wasn't dollars of products, you know. But then then confident, 205 00:13:42,476 --> 00:13:48,396 Speaker 3: you know, pornography and other sexualized uh material content on 206 00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:53,756 Speaker 3: social media, et cetera, really starts to chew away and 207 00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:58,236 Speaker 3: not at a girl self confidence because what is she? 208 00:13:58,236 --> 00:14:02,476 Speaker 3: She becomes an object, She because something that's commodified, something 209 00:14:02,596 --> 00:14:08,116 Speaker 3: to be used, and all of that eats away at 210 00:14:08,636 --> 00:14:13,316 Speaker 3: your confidence because what are you valued for? Only for 211 00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:17,596 Speaker 3: how you look? Only for how hot you are? And 212 00:14:17,636 --> 00:14:21,956 Speaker 3: I'll tell you, if that's the only thing you're valuing yourself, 213 00:14:22,516 --> 00:14:25,676 Speaker 3: then you know most of us are going to fail 214 00:14:25,836 --> 00:14:26,996 Speaker 3: businally at that one. 215 00:14:27,316 --> 00:14:28,196 Speaker 4: Yeah. 216 00:14:28,396 --> 00:14:31,516 Speaker 3: So I think that in those ways we want to 217 00:14:31,516 --> 00:14:35,716 Speaker 3: protect our children, our girls, and keep them safe, smart 218 00:14:35,756 --> 00:14:36,356 Speaker 3: and confident. 219 00:14:36,916 --> 00:14:38,676 Speaker 1: We're going to go to the brain in a moment. 220 00:14:38,796 --> 00:14:40,676 Speaker 1: But I just think like when you go into a 221 00:14:40,756 --> 00:14:43,916 Speaker 1: high end store and everything's really beautiful, and then you 222 00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:45,956 Speaker 1: look at your clothes and you're like, oh my word, 223 00:14:45,996 --> 00:14:48,756 Speaker 1: I look ridiculous. You look at your makeup, it's wrong. 224 00:14:48,876 --> 00:14:53,716 Speaker 1: Everything everyone looks so beautiful, and any no matter how self. 225 00:14:53,436 --> 00:14:55,676 Speaker 2: Confident you are, you just crumble. 226 00:14:56,516 --> 00:14:58,636 Speaker 1: And we just need to be so careful with our 227 00:14:58,676 --> 00:15:01,716 Speaker 1: girls as they're scrolling through social media and they're seeing 228 00:15:01,836 --> 00:15:06,596 Speaker 1: all these looks of what beauty is, and then pornography 229 00:15:06,676 --> 00:15:09,956 Speaker 1: taking that even a step further that it's just so 230 00:15:10,236 --> 00:15:13,676 Speaker 1: dangerous for girls and all of us, any of us 231 00:15:13,716 --> 00:15:18,756 Speaker 1: would compare ourselves like that you touched on the objectification, 232 00:15:19,436 --> 00:15:21,756 Speaker 1: you know, So teaching just help us. You know, it's 233 00:15:21,756 --> 00:15:23,716 Speaker 1: a big word. So let's say we're talking to an 234 00:15:23,796 --> 00:15:25,636 Speaker 1: eight year old. How would we talk about it? 235 00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:29,156 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Well in the book, I have the mother 236 00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:33,476 Speaker 3: use various examples. You know, she starts with like the 237 00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:36,476 Speaker 3: soccer ball that they're kicking around and they're like, you know, 238 00:15:36,716 --> 00:15:40,316 Speaker 3: this ball, we can kick it. It's not going to 239 00:15:40,396 --> 00:15:40,796 Speaker 3: be hurt. 240 00:15:41,036 --> 00:15:42,236 Speaker 2: Yeah, right, it's a thing. 241 00:15:42,556 --> 00:15:45,596 Speaker 3: But if you kick a person, a person's going to 242 00:15:45,636 --> 00:15:49,996 Speaker 3: be hurt, not only physically, but probably maybe even emotionally right, 243 00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:55,836 Speaker 3: So kicking is so different. So when you make people 244 00:15:55,996 --> 00:16:00,676 Speaker 3: into objects, you can easily hurt them and not feel 245 00:16:00,676 --> 00:16:05,556 Speaker 3: bad about it. And that's totally what pornography does. These 246 00:16:05,996 --> 00:16:10,956 Speaker 3: mostly women, I would say, are objects, and there's so 247 00:16:11,156 --> 00:16:14,876 Speaker 3: much sexual violence now in pornography. That's pretty much all 248 00:16:14,916 --> 00:16:20,556 Speaker 3: it is. And so it's so parton that we teach 249 00:16:20,556 --> 00:16:23,916 Speaker 3: about objects. So I talk about various, uh, you know, 250 00:16:25,876 --> 00:16:30,356 Speaker 3: incidents of that they can kind of relate to. We 251 00:16:30,436 --> 00:16:33,396 Speaker 3: also talk a little bit about, you know, using other people, 252 00:16:34,276 --> 00:16:37,516 Speaker 3: like what about One of the examples is what about 253 00:16:37,516 --> 00:16:40,716 Speaker 3: if there's a girl and she dresses really nice, and 254 00:16:40,756 --> 00:16:44,796 Speaker 3: she wears all the latest styles, and the only reason 255 00:16:44,836 --> 00:16:47,756 Speaker 3: you want to get to know her, and the only 256 00:16:47,836 --> 00:16:50,436 Speaker 3: reason you want to be your friend is so that 257 00:16:50,556 --> 00:16:55,676 Speaker 3: you can be more popular. Isn't that a form of objectification? 258 00:16:55,916 --> 00:17:02,116 Speaker 3: Because truly, she doesn't mean anything but being a mannequin. Basically, 259 00:17:02,276 --> 00:17:04,995 Speaker 3: she's she's really just being a manequan. So we just 260 00:17:05,076 --> 00:17:07,955 Speaker 3: talk about things that they can relate to. It goes 261 00:17:08,036 --> 00:17:14,356 Speaker 3: deeper and it can open up these deeper conversations about objectification. 262 00:17:14,596 --> 00:17:19,716 Speaker 3: But you know, objectification is not strong word. I wish 263 00:17:19,796 --> 00:17:25,796 Speaker 3: it were stronger. It's inhumane objectification those two words. 264 00:17:25,556 --> 00:17:31,755 Speaker 4: Should Yeah, it takes our humanity away. It strips away 265 00:17:32,515 --> 00:17:39,556 Speaker 4: our humanity, the skills, the talents, the kindness, the whatever 266 00:17:39,636 --> 00:17:43,876 Speaker 4: makes you you. You know, that becomes just stripped away, 267 00:17:43,995 --> 00:17:47,156 Speaker 4: and you're only this one thing that it's very difficult 268 00:17:47,196 --> 00:17:51,995 Speaker 4: to achieve. So I feel like we do a pretty 269 00:17:52,035 --> 00:17:56,676 Speaker 4: good job in the book. I do know to explaining objectification. 270 00:17:57,275 --> 00:18:01,356 Speaker 4: We shouldn't be afraid of these big words. I talked 271 00:18:01,396 --> 00:18:04,876 Speaker 4: to my kids when they were growing up using big words, 272 00:18:04,916 --> 00:18:06,236 Speaker 4: and guess what happened. 273 00:18:06,596 --> 00:18:07,596 Speaker 2: They understood them. 274 00:18:08,196 --> 00:18:11,635 Speaker 3: They actually had a large vocabulary at the time they 275 00:18:11,676 --> 00:18:12,515 Speaker 3: were in high school. 276 00:18:12,995 --> 00:18:14,836 Speaker 4: So it's all good. 277 00:18:14,916 --> 00:18:17,596 Speaker 3: Kids are smarter than we think they are. 278 00:18:18,676 --> 00:18:19,436 Speaker 2: It's so true. 279 00:18:19,955 --> 00:18:22,596 Speaker 1: So I want to go back to the brain, because 280 00:18:22,676 --> 00:18:28,196 Speaker 1: you so beautifully explain what the thinking brain and the 281 00:18:28,196 --> 00:18:31,356 Speaker 1: feeling brain, and the difference is so in light of pornography. 282 00:18:31,955 --> 00:18:35,076 Speaker 1: Help us communicate that to our kids. And I think 283 00:18:35,076 --> 00:18:37,715 Speaker 1: it's so helpful to use this language about the brain, 284 00:18:38,035 --> 00:18:40,636 Speaker 1: because even if a teenager thinks you're crazy and old 285 00:18:40,636 --> 00:18:44,755 Speaker 1: fashioned and too radical and all these things, she will 286 00:18:44,876 --> 00:18:47,476 Speaker 1: want to protect her brain. So this is a good 287 00:18:47,636 --> 00:18:48,955 Speaker 1: place to have a conversation. 288 00:18:50,035 --> 00:18:53,755 Speaker 3: Yeah, and kids love science and they like learning about 289 00:18:53,755 --> 00:18:58,036 Speaker 3: their bodies and about their brains. So yes, we talk 290 00:18:58,076 --> 00:19:01,676 Speaker 3: about the thinking brain and the feeling brain. And this 291 00:19:01,755 --> 00:19:07,596 Speaker 3: is obviously very simplified, but I've had neurosurgeons and very 292 00:19:07,596 --> 00:19:09,796 Speaker 3: smart people look at this and they're all like, this 293 00:19:09,836 --> 00:19:15,555 Speaker 3: is good. Yeah. So so we need to teach children 294 00:19:15,636 --> 00:19:22,676 Speaker 3: they have these two brains and they're both both very important, critical, 295 00:19:23,436 --> 00:19:27,876 Speaker 3: absolutely necessary. However, as they grow they need to keep 296 00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:32,715 Speaker 3: their thinking brain in charge because they're feeling brain makes 297 00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:42,356 Speaker 3: decisions without without knowing right and wrong, without remembering past consequences. 298 00:19:42,876 --> 00:19:48,636 Speaker 3: You know, it just goes on survival and what it wants. 299 00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:52,035 Speaker 3: But it's kind of like, you know, an animal going 300 00:19:52,116 --> 00:19:54,955 Speaker 3: after a prey, a predator going after prey. They don't 301 00:19:55,436 --> 00:19:58,356 Speaker 3: sit around going well is that really a thick? You 302 00:19:58,436 --> 00:20:03,156 Speaker 3: know that I eat this fish for my dinner. But 303 00:20:04,316 --> 00:20:08,635 Speaker 3: as humans, we have that ability to use our thinking 304 00:20:08,676 --> 00:20:13,515 Speaker 3: brain to consider our decisions and to make good choices. 305 00:20:14,396 --> 00:20:21,755 Speaker 3: The problem with pornography and other ative substances and behaviors 306 00:20:22,515 --> 00:20:28,076 Speaker 3: is that your feeling brain hijacks your thinking brain so 307 00:20:28,196 --> 00:20:35,316 Speaker 3: that you're not actually proactively saying, oh is this right 308 00:20:35,396 --> 00:20:38,356 Speaker 3: or wrong. Oh is this going to be good or bad? Oh? 309 00:20:38,396 --> 00:20:41,636 Speaker 3: Should I do this or not? And we know that 310 00:20:41,715 --> 00:20:46,315 Speaker 3: as children grow older, they gain more impulse control, they 311 00:20:46,475 --> 00:20:50,315 Speaker 3: start to, you know, be able to make better and 312 00:20:50,356 --> 00:20:57,196 Speaker 3: better decisions, but they need to understand that. Unfortunately, addictions 313 00:20:58,076 --> 00:21:02,836 Speaker 3: take that all away for the most part. If you've 314 00:21:02,876 --> 00:21:08,715 Speaker 3: known somebody who is addicted to whatever, or if you 315 00:21:08,755 --> 00:21:14,075 Speaker 3: struggle yourself, you will know that it's difficult. There was 316 00:21:14,156 --> 00:21:17,835 Speaker 3: a we've heard in the news of various high profile 317 00:21:18,076 --> 00:21:24,755 Speaker 3: politicians and celebrities whatever that maybe sent a picture that 318 00:21:24,836 --> 00:21:27,676 Speaker 3: they should not have sent, right, a private picture they 319 00:21:27,676 --> 00:21:30,876 Speaker 3: should not have sent, and they're caught, and we're thinking, 320 00:21:31,356 --> 00:21:32,796 Speaker 3: what were they thinking? 321 00:21:33,156 --> 00:21:36,315 Speaker 2: The adult? Yes, what were they thinking? 322 00:21:36,356 --> 00:21:39,755 Speaker 3: Didn't they know they could ruin their entire career? But 323 00:21:39,836 --> 00:21:44,755 Speaker 3: they weren't thinking because they're feeling brain just wanted to 324 00:21:44,755 --> 00:21:47,155 Speaker 3: do it and did not consult their thinking brain. So 325 00:21:47,356 --> 00:21:50,715 Speaker 3: we simplified the science so that a child can understand. 326 00:21:51,156 --> 00:21:53,755 Speaker 3: But I've had so many parents tell me I didn't 327 00:21:53,755 --> 00:21:57,795 Speaker 3: know this. I learned a lot about addiction, and so 328 00:21:58,916 --> 00:22:03,115 Speaker 3: what better way to make a child smarter than to 329 00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:05,715 Speaker 3: give them a little little bit of a better understanding 330 00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:10,955 Speaker 3: of how their brain actually responds to this kind of material. 331 00:22:11,995 --> 00:22:15,475 Speaker 1: And this is why I'm such an advocate of delaying 332 00:22:15,676 --> 00:22:18,836 Speaker 1: smartphone use. You know, like John Hyat would say sixteen 333 00:22:19,596 --> 00:22:22,596 Speaker 1: social media, et cetera, I like to say eighteen because 334 00:22:22,676 --> 00:22:24,035 Speaker 1: the kid's. 335 00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:25,155 Speaker 2: Brain doesn't know. 336 00:22:25,316 --> 00:22:28,115 Speaker 1: Oh my, you know the kid is like eight or 337 00:22:28,156 --> 00:22:29,995 Speaker 1: ten or twelve. If you know they're all thinking, my 338 00:22:30,076 --> 00:22:32,275 Speaker 1: thinking brain should really kick in right now because my 339 00:22:32,356 --> 00:22:35,995 Speaker 1: feeling brain would really is curious about that. So parents, 340 00:22:36,035 --> 00:22:39,156 Speaker 1: that's we sometimes have to be the thinking brain when yes, 341 00:22:39,316 --> 00:22:42,715 Speaker 1: our child is really predominantly only feeling brain. 342 00:22:43,995 --> 00:22:47,235 Speaker 3: Absolutely, that's part of our job is to be their 343 00:22:47,316 --> 00:22:48,396 Speaker 3: prefrontal cortex. 344 00:22:48,596 --> 00:22:50,396 Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, we have to be. 345 00:22:50,475 --> 00:22:54,156 Speaker 3: That's that's our job. And I am absolutely right there 346 00:22:54,156 --> 00:23:00,116 Speaker 3: with you to delay social media. It is, it's snuck 347 00:23:00,235 --> 00:23:03,636 Speaker 3: up on us. That doesn't mean we can't, now, with 348 00:23:03,755 --> 00:23:08,916 Speaker 3: our improved knowledge, pull it back and throw it out 349 00:23:08,955 --> 00:23:09,755 Speaker 3: the door for a while. 350 00:23:09,836 --> 00:23:10,876 Speaker 1: I love that. I love it. 351 00:23:10,955 --> 00:23:12,876 Speaker 2: Let's pull it back and throw it out. I love this. 352 00:23:13,356 --> 00:23:17,035 Speaker 1: Okay, my last question for you. Let's say that the 353 00:23:17,156 --> 00:23:21,355 Speaker 1: mom is listening, but their child is older, or maybe 354 00:23:21,396 --> 00:23:24,955 Speaker 1: they read Good Pictures Bad Pictures Guide for Girls, and 355 00:23:24,995 --> 00:23:28,236 Speaker 1: then they realize, oh, my goodness, my daughter really has 356 00:23:28,275 --> 00:23:33,196 Speaker 1: already been exposed to pornography. How does what does that conversation? 357 00:23:33,515 --> 00:23:34,596 Speaker 1: How could it sound like. 358 00:23:35,475 --> 00:23:39,356 Speaker 3: Well, that's a conversation that that's happened many times from 359 00:23:39,396 --> 00:23:44,275 Speaker 3: what I've heard. Because we're maybe we didn't even know 360 00:23:44,356 --> 00:23:48,196 Speaker 3: we need to have this conversation this early, and especially 361 00:23:48,275 --> 00:23:51,835 Speaker 3: with girls, we have it, and then you know, she 362 00:23:51,995 --> 00:23:55,755 Speaker 3: feels safe enough to say, well, actually I have seen 363 00:23:55,796 --> 00:23:59,436 Speaker 3: something like this, and it's so important to make it 364 00:23:59,515 --> 00:24:05,235 Speaker 3: a safe, safe place that she doesn't fear that you're 365 00:24:05,235 --> 00:24:09,196 Speaker 3: going to take up everything away from her and get 366 00:24:09,235 --> 00:24:12,275 Speaker 3: and to get in trouble, or she'll be so ashamed. 367 00:24:13,836 --> 00:24:16,436 Speaker 3: There's a couple of things that come to mind. First 368 00:24:16,475 --> 00:24:20,355 Speaker 3: of all, we do have a guide on defend young minds. 369 00:24:20,715 --> 00:24:25,836 Speaker 3: The call that's that is called my kids saw porn? 370 00:24:25,916 --> 00:24:29,276 Speaker 3: Now What? And it's it's more like an ebook. It's 371 00:24:29,636 --> 00:24:34,436 Speaker 3: eighty eight pages, but it goes through a five step 372 00:24:34,515 --> 00:24:40,075 Speaker 3: plan called the Smart Plan, and and then answers individual 373 00:24:40,196 --> 00:24:45,115 Speaker 3: like specific questions. They're there are therapists that have answered 374 00:24:45,156 --> 00:24:47,036 Speaker 3: these questions and and everything. 375 00:24:47,076 --> 00:24:50,436 Speaker 1: So that is what and we'll put ye, we'll put 376 00:24:50,436 --> 00:24:51,995 Speaker 1: a load of that on our show notes. 377 00:24:52,715 --> 00:24:58,156 Speaker 3: But basically, when you find this out, I would say, 378 00:24:58,796 --> 00:25:03,396 Speaker 3: remain calm. That is the main thing, because once you 379 00:25:03,556 --> 00:25:07,036 Speaker 3: show a ton of emotion, it's going to be scary 380 00:25:07,116 --> 00:25:13,075 Speaker 3: for the kid. And I think it's so if we 381 00:25:13,116 --> 00:25:16,555 Speaker 3: can go into it going, oh, okay, you've seen this 382 00:25:16,796 --> 00:25:21,276 Speaker 3: al righty, thank you for telling me, Thank you for 383 00:25:21,356 --> 00:25:25,755 Speaker 3: telling me. We're gonna work at this together. I'm going 384 00:25:25,836 --> 00:25:31,196 Speaker 3: to be there with you to help you. And so 385 00:25:31,596 --> 00:25:35,475 Speaker 3: knowing that that porn is the enemy, your child is 386 00:25:35,515 --> 00:25:40,315 Speaker 3: not the enemy. Right, even if they've even if they 387 00:25:40,316 --> 00:25:44,475 Speaker 3: were curious, even if they looked at there's just nothing 388 00:25:44,515 --> 00:25:50,316 Speaker 3: we can blame our kids if we haven't started that conversation. 389 00:25:50,556 --> 00:25:54,075 Speaker 3: You know, we can't blame them for being vulnerable to 390 00:25:54,356 --> 00:25:58,636 Speaker 3: what the world is throwing at them. We have a grandchild, 391 00:25:58,916 --> 00:26:02,715 Speaker 3: a grandchild who I'll tell you when it comes to food, 392 00:26:02,796 --> 00:26:07,516 Speaker 3: he's very it's a hard time if he wants something, 393 00:26:08,275 --> 00:26:12,955 Speaker 3: and so we just the things that we know he's 394 00:26:12,995 --> 00:26:14,795 Speaker 3: going to be very tempted by. If we're having a 395 00:26:14,836 --> 00:26:18,396 Speaker 3: family dinner, guess what those desserts they go way up 396 00:26:18,475 --> 00:26:18,995 Speaker 3: on top. 397 00:26:19,156 --> 00:26:25,516 Speaker 1: Refrigerator is too heavy for him. 398 00:26:25,995 --> 00:26:26,396 Speaker 2: For him. 399 00:26:26,515 --> 00:26:29,196 Speaker 3: He's a little guy right now, He's tall for his age. 400 00:26:29,235 --> 00:26:34,836 Speaker 3: That's the problem. But we've realized, you know, if we 401 00:26:34,955 --> 00:26:39,755 Speaker 3: set up the environment so that he can succeed, then 402 00:26:39,796 --> 00:26:42,155 Speaker 3: we're going to avoid a lot of these problems. But 403 00:26:42,196 --> 00:26:47,036 Speaker 3: the problem is it is difficult to set up that environment, 404 00:26:47,076 --> 00:26:49,795 Speaker 3: to control that environment. That's why we have to have 405 00:26:49,916 --> 00:26:55,075 Speaker 3: these conversations early and often to help our girls know 406 00:26:55,156 --> 00:26:57,795 Speaker 3: that they can come and talk to us. They're not 407 00:26:58,035 --> 00:27:03,636 Speaker 3: bad kids, they're not they're not bad kids, but pornography 408 00:27:03,796 --> 00:27:04,876 Speaker 3: is bad for them. 409 00:27:05,035 --> 00:27:10,196 Speaker 1: Yeah, you can feel the difference of that child's going 410 00:27:10,235 --> 00:27:12,475 Speaker 1: to return to a parent that says, thank you so 411 00:27:12,556 --> 00:27:13,755 Speaker 1: much for telling me this. 412 00:27:13,876 --> 00:27:17,796 Speaker 2: Versus what right you know? Big you know? Or tears 413 00:27:17,876 --> 00:27:20,035 Speaker 2: and I can't believe that old well you know all 414 00:27:20,076 --> 00:27:20,475 Speaker 2: those things. 415 00:27:20,515 --> 00:27:23,075 Speaker 1: So we do have to save that, pretend to be 416 00:27:23,235 --> 00:27:27,036 Speaker 1: like okay, thank you, and then later to your friends, 417 00:27:27,116 --> 00:27:30,235 Speaker 1: to your spouse, to you your support group. You freak 418 00:27:30,275 --> 00:27:32,636 Speaker 1: out then, but do not freak out in front of 419 00:27:32,715 --> 00:27:33,275 Speaker 1: your child. 420 00:27:33,876 --> 00:27:37,636 Speaker 3: Freak out in private, and you have time to you 421 00:27:37,715 --> 00:27:40,955 Speaker 3: have time to consider what you want to do. Let's 422 00:27:40,955 --> 00:27:43,755 Speaker 3: say you even find that your child, your daughter whatever, 423 00:27:43,796 --> 00:27:46,676 Speaker 3: has been searching for things she shouldn't have or whatever. 424 00:27:49,035 --> 00:27:53,116 Speaker 3: I would really take twenty four to seventy two hours 425 00:27:53,676 --> 00:27:57,595 Speaker 3: to think about it, to prepare to plan your response. 426 00:27:59,556 --> 00:28:05,116 Speaker 3: There's no reason why you have to just immediately react 427 00:28:05,836 --> 00:28:10,316 Speaker 3: to this situation. Much better to hold off. And let 428 00:28:10,316 --> 00:28:12,475 Speaker 3: me tell you, I am not one of these people. 429 00:28:13,035 --> 00:28:15,155 Speaker 3: I'm a little hot. I run a little hot up 430 00:28:15,235 --> 00:28:20,355 Speaker 3: in my you know, I get it. I'm I My 431 00:28:20,515 --> 00:28:22,955 Speaker 3: father when I was really young, called me Eric the 432 00:28:23,035 --> 00:28:24,556 Speaker 3: Red if you. 433 00:28:24,515 --> 00:28:26,595 Speaker 2: Know what that means. Like, I don't know what that 434 00:28:26,676 --> 00:28:27,315 Speaker 2: meant till. 435 00:28:27,235 --> 00:28:29,995 Speaker 3: I was like studying with my kids reading some book 436 00:28:30,035 --> 00:28:33,475 Speaker 3: about Eric the Red and I'm like, oh, he was named 437 00:28:33,475 --> 00:28:35,676 Speaker 3: that because he had this like hot you know, kind 438 00:28:35,676 --> 00:28:39,835 Speaker 3: of like temper. And I'm like, oh, okay, so I 439 00:28:40,036 --> 00:28:43,796 Speaker 3: get it. I am there with those women that react 440 00:28:44,556 --> 00:28:48,236 Speaker 3: and have emotions right at this service. But it is 441 00:28:48,356 --> 00:28:51,396 Speaker 3: so much better to be calm. That is the ideal. 442 00:28:51,676 --> 00:28:54,075 Speaker 3: And if you do have a reaction, come back and 443 00:28:54,116 --> 00:28:58,356 Speaker 3: apologize and just say We're going to have a calm 444 00:28:58,596 --> 00:29:01,075 Speaker 3: conversation about this, and I'm going to do better at this. 445 00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:04,116 Speaker 3: It just said, I want your life to be happy 446 00:29:04,156 --> 00:29:09,796 Speaker 3: and I want you to be healthy, So yes, remain 447 00:29:09,956 --> 00:29:12,876 Speaker 3: calm and then begin to know, like, how are you 448 00:29:12,916 --> 00:29:14,516 Speaker 3: going to set up the discipline. How are you going 449 00:29:14,596 --> 00:29:18,356 Speaker 3: to set up because they there should be disciplined involved 450 00:29:18,516 --> 00:29:22,916 Speaker 3: if again, you've set up rules, yeah, and they've broken them, 451 00:29:22,956 --> 00:29:26,636 Speaker 3: that's it's okay to discipline them, but it's it's not 452 00:29:26,836 --> 00:29:33,676 Speaker 3: okay to discipline them, to punish them, to shame them 453 00:29:34,436 --> 00:29:37,116 Speaker 3: when they were blindsided. Yeah. 454 00:29:38,276 --> 00:29:44,756 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that that good loving discipline that is firm 455 00:29:45,516 --> 00:29:48,875 Speaker 1: but given in such a way that the child can 456 00:29:48,956 --> 00:29:51,315 Speaker 1: receive it, right, so there's none of that shame or 457 00:29:51,316 --> 00:29:52,076 Speaker 1: anything like that. 458 00:29:52,356 --> 00:29:54,356 Speaker 2: And I know you love them, yeah, And. 459 00:29:54,356 --> 00:29:57,196 Speaker 1: I love how you are so calm, like you talk 460 00:29:57,316 --> 00:30:00,236 Speaker 1: so calmly, right, but I love that you're Eric the 461 00:30:00,316 --> 00:30:04,076 Speaker 1: Red inside because how else would defend young Minds exist 462 00:30:04,236 --> 00:30:07,276 Speaker 1: if you were not Eric the Red Inside. 463 00:30:08,156 --> 00:30:10,315 Speaker 2: Thanks you so mad tell people. 464 00:30:11,236 --> 00:30:15,476 Speaker 3: Yeah, And since I've had my grandsons like I am, 465 00:30:15,556 --> 00:30:18,516 Speaker 3: just like, it just makes me furious that it's out there. 466 00:30:19,156 --> 00:30:21,156 Speaker 3: I don't even want to think about them seeing it. 467 00:30:21,196 --> 00:30:23,476 Speaker 3: But yet we've been reading these books to them since 468 00:30:23,476 --> 00:30:27,276 Speaker 3: they were two, so, you know, trying to do this 469 00:30:27,556 --> 00:30:33,956 Speaker 3: part of the of the preparation. But yeah, defend young 470 00:30:34,036 --> 00:30:39,116 Speaker 3: Minds is kind of like our companion website. We have 471 00:30:39,236 --> 00:30:45,916 Speaker 3: free guides there. We have guides that are very specific 472 00:30:46,076 --> 00:30:50,036 Speaker 3: topics that parents are all going to have to tackle 473 00:30:50,516 --> 00:30:55,396 Speaker 3: as they raise their daughters and their children. So yeah, 474 00:30:55,396 --> 00:31:00,116 Speaker 3: we have great articles there and we'd love to have 475 00:31:00,196 --> 00:31:03,076 Speaker 3: you come and join us at Defend Your Minds. 476 00:31:03,076 --> 00:31:06,036 Speaker 2: Also on many good instagrams, yeah. 477 00:31:05,756 --> 00:31:10,076 Speaker 3: Yep, Instagram and Facebook and all the socials yep. 478 00:31:10,796 --> 00:31:11,676 Speaker 2: So check that out. 479 00:31:11,796 --> 00:31:14,556 Speaker 1: We will have that link in the show notes Defend 480 00:31:14,636 --> 00:31:18,316 Speaker 1: Young Minds. The book is called Good Pictures, Bad Pictures 481 00:31:18,396 --> 00:31:19,436 Speaker 1: Guide for Girls. 482 00:31:19,516 --> 00:31:21,916 Speaker 2: Kristin, thank you so much for being on today. 483 00:31:22,996 --> 00:31:23,676 Speaker 3: Thank you, Arlie. 484 00:31:25,556 --> 00:31:28,916 Speaker 1: I hope you've enjoyed today's conversation. I'd love to keep 485 00:31:28,956 --> 00:31:30,595 Speaker 1: in touch beyond this podcast. 486 00:31:30,996 --> 00:31:32,315 Speaker 3: Click subscribe in the. 487 00:31:32,356 --> 00:31:35,075 Speaker 1: Show notes and I will give you my latest email 488 00:31:35,156 --> 00:31:38,556 Speaker 1: to keep up on what's happening with technology and kids. 489 00:31:39,036 --> 00:31:41,916 Speaker 2: And maybe you like reading or listening to books. I 490 00:31:41,956 --> 00:31:43,036 Speaker 2: have a lot of books. 491 00:31:43,116 --> 00:31:46,636 Speaker 1: You could start with The Big Three, Making Marriage Easier, 492 00:31:47,196 --> 00:31:49,556 Speaker 1: Parents Rising, or Screen Kids. 493 00:31:50,156 --> 00:31:51,676 Speaker 2: A big thank you to the team. 494 00:31:51,476 --> 00:31:54,756 Speaker 1: At life Audio for their partnership with the Happy Home podcast. 495 00:31:55,156 --> 00:31:58,436 Speaker 1: Check out lifeaudio dot com for dozens of other faith 496 00:31:58,516 --> 00:32:01,716 Speaker 1: related podcasts about prayer, Bible study. 497 00:32:01,436 --> 00:32:01,876 Speaker 3: And more. 498 00:32:02,516 --> 00:32:05,476 Speaker 1: Remember you don't have to come from a happy home 499 00:32:05,516 --> 00:32:06,476 Speaker 1: to create one. 500 00:32:06,756 --> 00:32:08,876 Speaker 2: You too, can have a happy home.