1 00:00:08,257 --> 00:00:14,137 Speaker 1: Life Audio. This episode contains content that may be triggering 2 00:00:14,177 --> 00:00:19,096 Speaker 1: for some listeners. Head over to the Jesus Calling YouTube 3 00:00:19,177 --> 00:00:23,936 Speaker 1: channel for inspirational video content that will enhance your spiritual life. 4 00:00:24,017 --> 00:00:27,577 Speaker 1: Each week, you'll find beautiful devotional videos from morning, evening, 5 00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:32,577 Speaker 1: and sleep, as well as stories and readings from celebrities, authors, pastors, 6 00:00:32,777 --> 00:00:35,137 Speaker 1: and everyday people who share how God has worked in 7 00:00:35,137 --> 00:00:38,336 Speaker 1: their lives. 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Subscribe today for new 11 00:00:50,577 --> 00:00:51,537 Speaker 1: videos each week. 12 00:00:54,697 --> 00:00:57,297 Speaker 2: I had about five years in recovery at that time, 13 00:00:57,737 --> 00:01:01,097 Speaker 2: not using drugs or alcohol, but I was still very sick. 14 00:01:01,377 --> 00:01:04,697 Speaker 2: I was still trapped by a lot of the lies 15 00:01:04,737 --> 00:01:06,777 Speaker 2: that I had believed I bought myself for a very 16 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:09,777 Speaker 2: long time, and some of the choices I was making. 17 00:01:09,817 --> 00:01:12,217 Speaker 2: Even though I wasn't using drugs and alcohol, I was 18 00:01:12,257 --> 00:01:13,417 Speaker 2: still trying to escape. 19 00:01:14,817 --> 00:01:17,777 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Jesus Calling Podcast. This week, we'll hear 20 00:01:17,817 --> 00:01:21,217 Speaker 1: from Caroline Bidler, a speaker and recovery advocate who began 21 00:01:21,337 --> 00:01:23,897 Speaker 1: using alcohol at just eleven years old to numb the 22 00:01:23,897 --> 00:01:26,697 Speaker 1: pain of a deep sense of loneliness and not belonging. 23 00:01:27,057 --> 00:01:29,977 Speaker 1: This led to years of addiction, but even after getting sober, 24 00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:33,697 Speaker 1: Caroline found she was still wrestling with shame, unhealthy patterns, 25 00:01:33,697 --> 00:01:38,217 Speaker 1: and wounds that hadn't healed. Jonathan Tepper is a founder, author, 26 00:01:38,297 --> 00:01:41,057 Speaker 1: and strategic thinker whose journey began as a son of 27 00:01:41,097 --> 00:01:45,617 Speaker 1: missionaries in regions of deep cultural and economic contrast. From 28 00:01:45,657 --> 00:01:47,977 Speaker 1: his upbringing in Spain by missionaries who sought to help 29 00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:50,457 Speaker 1: those addicted to heroin all the way to Taiwan and 30 00:01:50,497 --> 00:01:53,377 Speaker 1: the high stakes world of global finance, he's found himself 31 00:01:53,377 --> 00:01:56,777 Speaker 1: on a search for truth and fairness. Let's begin with 32 00:01:56,937 --> 00:01:58,217 Speaker 1: Caroline Bidler's story. 33 00:02:00,377 --> 00:02:04,537 Speaker 2: My name is Caroline Bibler, and I am passionate about recovery. 34 00:02:04,817 --> 00:02:07,417 Speaker 2: I'm a woman who identifies as being in long term 35 00:02:07,457 --> 00:02:10,817 Speaker 2: recovery from addiction and mental health. I've experienced some really 36 00:02:10,857 --> 00:02:13,817 Speaker 2: tough things in life that God has redeemed, and I 37 00:02:13,857 --> 00:02:17,857 Speaker 2: am just excited about sharing the hope and joy that 38 00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:20,977 Speaker 2: I've found through recovery and through my faith journey with 39 00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:29,057 Speaker 2: other women, specifically who are going through similar things. As 40 00:02:29,097 --> 00:02:32,617 Speaker 2: a child I was really lonely, and I just remember 41 00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:37,977 Speaker 2: feeling really strange, really different, and that I'd never really belonged. 42 00:02:38,697 --> 00:02:41,937 Speaker 2: When I was about eleven years old, I had my 43 00:02:42,057 --> 00:02:45,657 Speaker 2: first drink of alcohol, and I remember I was sitting 44 00:02:45,697 --> 00:02:48,376 Speaker 2: outside my grandpa's house he spent a lot of time 45 00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:50,217 Speaker 2: with my brother and I when we were growing up, 46 00:02:50,377 --> 00:02:53,857 Speaker 2: and was sitting under this tree. And I remember cracking 47 00:02:53,857 --> 00:02:57,937 Speaker 2: open this beer can and had snuck it out of 48 00:02:57,977 --> 00:03:00,177 Speaker 2: his fridge. He kept up six pack there for when 49 00:03:00,217 --> 00:03:02,337 Speaker 2: my dad would pick us up, and you know, I 50 00:03:02,417 --> 00:03:04,777 Speaker 2: cracked open this can and I took a drink. And 51 00:03:05,177 --> 00:03:07,617 Speaker 2: when I see eleven year old girls today, I'm like, Wow, 52 00:03:07,657 --> 00:03:10,897 Speaker 2: they're babies, you know, their babies. And I was a 53 00:03:10,977 --> 00:03:14,297 Speaker 2: baby sitting under this tree searching for something to help 54 00:03:14,337 --> 00:03:17,497 Speaker 2: me feel better. And I was searching for something outside 55 00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:21,457 Speaker 2: of myself to ease the pain and discomfort I felt. 56 00:03:21,497 --> 00:03:24,097 Speaker 2: And I didn't grow up a Christian. I didn't grow 57 00:03:24,177 --> 00:03:27,457 Speaker 2: up even going to church on holidays. I had no 58 00:03:27,697 --> 00:03:31,257 Speaker 2: name for who God was. But at the same time, 59 00:03:31,297 --> 00:03:34,177 Speaker 2: I just remember knowing that He was there. And I 60 00:03:34,417 --> 00:03:36,577 Speaker 2: just feel like from even an early age, I was 61 00:03:36,577 --> 00:03:40,857 Speaker 2: seeking that relationship and I was seeking a connection with God, 62 00:03:40,937 --> 00:03:44,017 Speaker 2: and looking back on my struggle with addiction and substance 63 00:03:44,017 --> 00:03:47,857 Speaker 2: you starting as a kid, I can see how even then, 64 00:03:48,697 --> 00:03:54,697 Speaker 2: my desire to escape and kind of soothe myself through 65 00:03:54,737 --> 00:03:59,097 Speaker 2: substance you was really me seeking God. I was wanting peace, 66 00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:02,497 Speaker 2: looking for comfort, but just doing that in the wrong 67 00:04:02,537 --> 00:04:05,937 Speaker 2: way and looking in the wrong direction. It was when 68 00:04:06,097 --> 00:04:08,697 Speaker 2: I was in high school first time I went to 69 00:04:08,737 --> 00:04:12,217 Speaker 2: addiction treatment, I learned that recovery doesn't happen in isolation. 70 00:04:13,257 --> 00:04:15,817 Speaker 2: My family had no idea how to show up for 71 00:04:15,897 --> 00:04:18,977 Speaker 2: me and support me. I mean, my substance use went 72 00:04:18,976 --> 00:04:23,137 Speaker 2: from drinking alcohol as a little girl to using hard 73 00:04:23,176 --> 00:04:27,377 Speaker 2: drugs and just being in the pit of really significant 74 00:04:27,457 --> 00:04:30,856 Speaker 2: substance use disorder by fifteen, and so my parents were 75 00:04:30,897 --> 00:04:33,537 Speaker 2: at a loss. They didn't know what to do. And 76 00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:38,697 Speaker 2: it was interesting how I saw my addiction wasn't just 77 00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:41,336 Speaker 2: destroying me, it was hurting them. It was hurting everyone 78 00:04:41,376 --> 00:04:46,936 Speaker 2: around me. My friendships totally destroyed. My addiction was impacting 79 00:04:46,976 --> 00:04:50,217 Speaker 2: how I connected, or better didn't connect with other people. 80 00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:52,537 Speaker 2: I was just so wrapped up in my own experience 81 00:04:52,697 --> 00:04:54,337 Speaker 2: and what I was going through on my own struggle, 82 00:04:54,376 --> 00:04:57,657 Speaker 2: I wasn't able to connect with others, and so that 83 00:04:57,816 --> 00:05:00,777 Speaker 2: early on I saw how addiction impacted the family. It 84 00:05:00,856 --> 00:05:04,937 Speaker 2: wasn't until I started walking in longer term recovery that 85 00:05:05,056 --> 00:05:09,176 Speaker 2: I saw how me showing up as a sober, healthy, 86 00:05:10,017 --> 00:05:14,016 Speaker 2: growing person impacted people in my life, in my own 87 00:05:14,056 --> 00:05:18,457 Speaker 2: family who struggled with substance use. Just my presence showed 88 00:05:18,496 --> 00:05:25,416 Speaker 2: people there's another way to live. One of the things 89 00:05:25,457 --> 00:05:28,296 Speaker 2: I'm really passionate about talking about is the fact that 90 00:05:28,416 --> 00:05:33,176 Speaker 2: addiction recovery is about more than sobriety. It's about more 91 00:05:33,217 --> 00:05:40,217 Speaker 2: than stopping something. I think recovery is a deep experience 92 00:05:40,337 --> 00:05:43,416 Speaker 2: that we can go through of not just physical healing 93 00:05:43,457 --> 00:05:48,016 Speaker 2: and emotional healing, but spiritual healing and formation. A moment 94 00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:50,976 Speaker 2: in time, for me, I think that I really came 95 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:55,056 Speaker 2: to feel that I actually had five years sober, so 96 00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:57,657 Speaker 2: I had about five years in recovery at that time, 97 00:05:59,416 --> 00:06:02,816 Speaker 2: not using drugs or alcohol. But I was still very sick. 98 00:06:03,097 --> 00:06:06,416 Speaker 2: I was still trapped by a lot of the lies 99 00:06:06,457 --> 00:06:09,136 Speaker 2: that I had believed about myself for a very long time. 100 00:06:09,657 --> 00:06:12,576 Speaker 2: Just felt this shame and just this weight and some 101 00:06:12,697 --> 00:06:14,777 Speaker 2: of the choices I was making, even though I wasn't 102 00:06:14,856 --> 00:06:17,617 Speaker 2: using drugs and alcohol. I was still trying to escape. 103 00:06:17,616 --> 00:06:19,936 Speaker 2: I was still that little girl under the tree seeking 104 00:06:19,936 --> 00:06:23,136 Speaker 2: for something other than God. And I did that through 105 00:06:23,176 --> 00:06:28,496 Speaker 2: food and really unhealthy relationships and other types of toxic choices, 106 00:06:28,976 --> 00:06:32,337 Speaker 2: and was really still hurting myself. And when I had 107 00:06:32,376 --> 00:06:34,896 Speaker 2: five years in recovery, I'd gone back to school to 108 00:06:34,976 --> 00:06:38,897 Speaker 2: study social work so that I could help serve women better. 109 00:06:39,657 --> 00:06:43,736 Speaker 2: And through that, it was almost as if a mirror 110 00:06:43,816 --> 00:06:47,217 Speaker 2: was held up to me because I was able to 111 00:06:47,296 --> 00:06:51,056 Speaker 2: see all of those places that I still needed real depeeling. 112 00:06:52,056 --> 00:06:55,497 Speaker 2: You know, imagine a young girl using drugs and alcohol. 113 00:06:55,856 --> 00:06:58,496 Speaker 2: Some really bad things happened to me because of my 114 00:06:58,537 --> 00:07:02,376 Speaker 2: selfistence use and more traumas just kind of layered on 115 00:07:02,457 --> 00:07:06,337 Speaker 2: top of themselves. I've really learned that I need to 116 00:07:06,376 --> 00:07:08,897 Speaker 2: focus on my mental health and I need to look 117 00:07:08,936 --> 00:07:11,297 Speaker 2: at how my physical health needs to be cared for 118 00:07:11,417 --> 00:07:14,256 Speaker 2: in recovery, and I need to take care of and 119 00:07:14,377 --> 00:07:18,417 Speaker 2: tend my spiritual health and formation and growth. Hope and 120 00:07:18,497 --> 00:07:23,897 Speaker 2: connection are felt deeply within communities of recovery. What we 121 00:07:23,937 --> 00:07:26,537 Speaker 2: know from the research is that when our loved ones 122 00:07:26,657 --> 00:07:29,776 Speaker 2: have hope for us, have hope that we will heal 123 00:07:30,137 --> 00:07:34,177 Speaker 2: and find addiction recovery, we are more likely to. That 124 00:07:34,337 --> 00:07:38,777 Speaker 2: is a powerful statement, and that is a powerful way 125 00:07:39,017 --> 00:07:43,256 Speaker 2: that I think God reveals Hope isn't just some feeling. 126 00:07:43,777 --> 00:07:46,577 Speaker 2: And then the other piece is connection. I mean, we 127 00:07:46,617 --> 00:07:49,456 Speaker 2: know from the research and our own experience that the 128 00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:53,097 Speaker 2: number one way to help people struggling with addiction is 129 00:07:53,137 --> 00:07:56,457 Speaker 2: to connect them with people with a similar life experience. 130 00:07:57,057 --> 00:08:01,177 Speaker 2: My own experience, I went through such loneliness and isolation 131 00:08:01,297 --> 00:08:03,417 Speaker 2: as a little girl, you know, I talked about being 132 00:08:03,497 --> 00:08:07,297 Speaker 2: under that tree, you know, drinking that beer. Such loneliness. 133 00:08:07,697 --> 00:08:11,337 Speaker 2: But through recovery and through this profound connection and fellowship, 134 00:08:11,897 --> 00:08:17,457 Speaker 2: I felt belonging. Addiction is almost this crisis of loneliness, 135 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:21,537 Speaker 2: and a way to address it isn't just through treatment 136 00:08:21,777 --> 00:08:25,537 Speaker 2: for substance use, and it isn't just making sure our 137 00:08:25,577 --> 00:08:30,017 Speaker 2: loved ones are abstinate or sober. It's connecting them and 138 00:08:30,057 --> 00:08:33,577 Speaker 2: making sure they know that being connected in community is 139 00:08:33,617 --> 00:08:37,337 Speaker 2: as hewing as any other type of treatment. Having a 140 00:08:37,377 --> 00:08:41,057 Speaker 2: sense of belonging is just as helpful. So those two 141 00:08:41,137 --> 00:08:45,417 Speaker 2: pieceas hope and belonging. Hope and connection are so important 142 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,777 Speaker 2: when we're talking about how people can heal from addiction, 143 00:08:48,937 --> 00:08:59,377 Speaker 2: not just themselves as individuals, but as families. I think 144 00:08:59,417 --> 00:09:02,057 Speaker 2: a lot of families are really afraid that they're going 145 00:09:02,097 --> 00:09:04,017 Speaker 2: to get something wrong when they're trying to show up 146 00:09:04,057 --> 00:09:07,817 Speaker 2: and support their loved one struggling with addiction. There have 147 00:09:07,897 --> 00:09:11,337 Speaker 2: been terms that have been out there for decades around 148 00:09:11,457 --> 00:09:15,977 Speaker 2: this issue for families, including terms like tough love, or 149 00:09:16,617 --> 00:09:21,057 Speaker 2: enabling or even codependency. And I think some of these 150 00:09:21,177 --> 00:09:24,537 Speaker 2: terms and these ideas have been to use a really 151 00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:26,857 Speaker 2: strong word, But I'm going to use the strong word 152 00:09:27,177 --> 00:09:32,537 Speaker 2: weaponized against families because it only adds to these feelings 153 00:09:32,577 --> 00:09:35,497 Speaker 2: of inadequacy and shame and like we're doing it wrong 154 00:09:35,537 --> 00:09:37,417 Speaker 2: and we're not showing up in the right way. When 155 00:09:37,457 --> 00:09:40,617 Speaker 2: all families really want to do with love. We really 156 00:09:40,657 --> 00:09:43,577 Speaker 2: want to just love the person in our life who's struggling. 157 00:09:44,297 --> 00:09:50,057 Speaker 2: And so I think when we label things, we create fear. 158 00:09:50,577 --> 00:09:53,177 Speaker 2: So as a loved one, I might be afraid that 159 00:09:53,257 --> 00:09:56,897 Speaker 2: my showing up will not be helping but actually harming them. 160 00:09:57,177 --> 00:09:59,017 Speaker 2: I might show up and say, well, you know, what 161 00:09:59,177 --> 00:10:01,977 Speaker 2: if I take them grocery shopping, or if I answer 162 00:10:02,017 --> 00:10:03,857 Speaker 2: the phone or if I text back. What if I'm 163 00:10:04,017 --> 00:10:06,777 Speaker 2: enabling them? What if these actions are actually going to 164 00:10:06,817 --> 00:10:10,697 Speaker 2: cause them to use I want to encourage families and 165 00:10:10,737 --> 00:10:14,537 Speaker 2: the research. Actually I'm a researcher at heart. The research 166 00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:19,737 Speaker 2: actually shows that showing up and loving in sometimes even 167 00:10:19,777 --> 00:10:23,057 Speaker 2: the most simple basic ways, So meeting basic needs, whether 168 00:10:23,137 --> 00:10:26,977 Speaker 2: that's buying someone food or taking them to a meeting, 169 00:10:27,297 --> 00:10:29,977 Speaker 2: or making sure they have a safe place to sleep 170 00:10:30,017 --> 00:10:32,537 Speaker 2: at night. I think we need too, as loved ones, 171 00:10:32,577 --> 00:10:36,017 Speaker 2: like stop being afraid of having those uncomfortable, maybe sometimes 172 00:10:36,057 --> 00:10:40,057 Speaker 2: even awkward conversations. And if you aren't feeling led to 173 00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:43,657 Speaker 2: be like, hey, I concerned you might be using drugs 174 00:10:43,737 --> 00:10:46,777 Speaker 2: or alcohol, Like can we talk about it? Just saying hey, 175 00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:49,537 Speaker 2: like I notice you seem a little different lately, Like 176 00:10:49,617 --> 00:10:51,537 Speaker 2: I'm here for you. Do you want to talk about it? 177 00:10:51,857 --> 00:10:55,017 Speaker 2: You know what's going on with you? Letting people know 178 00:10:55,097 --> 00:10:58,337 Speaker 2: you care and that you notice something's going on goes 179 00:10:58,377 --> 00:11:03,457 Speaker 2: a long way, because again, addiction kind of breeds and 180 00:11:03,737 --> 00:11:08,017 Speaker 2: increases and gets stronger, more distructive in isolation, and where 181 00:11:08,017 --> 00:11:10,817 Speaker 2: we can shine some light on what's going on, that's 182 00:11:10,857 --> 00:11:13,337 Speaker 2: where God can come in and that healing can happen. 183 00:11:14,657 --> 00:11:17,577 Speaker 2: There are three main things that I always encourage loved 184 00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,577 Speaker 2: ones to do. If you have someone in your life 185 00:11:19,577 --> 00:11:23,897 Speaker 2: who's struggling with addiction. Number one, lead with compassion. So 186 00:11:24,097 --> 00:11:29,057 Speaker 2: instead of asking accusatory questions or really always wanting to 187 00:11:29,057 --> 00:11:31,377 Speaker 2: know like are you using? Are you sober? Are you clean? 188 00:11:31,897 --> 00:11:35,097 Speaker 2: Being curious and asking open ended questions like how can 189 00:11:35,137 --> 00:11:39,257 Speaker 2: I support you? How are you feeling today? Just letting 190 00:11:39,337 --> 00:11:41,777 Speaker 2: your loved one know that you're showing up and doing 191 00:11:41,777 --> 00:11:45,937 Speaker 2: that in a compassionate, empathetic and caring way can make 192 00:11:46,177 --> 00:11:50,097 Speaker 2: all the difference. Number two, it's so important to get 193 00:11:50,257 --> 00:11:54,457 Speaker 2: educated about not just what addiction is, but what recovery is. 194 00:11:55,057 --> 00:11:58,177 Speaker 2: Learning evidence based strategies and ways to show up that 195 00:11:58,257 --> 00:12:02,537 Speaker 2: actually help and not harm can be pivotal. And lastly, 196 00:12:02,697 --> 00:12:07,617 Speaker 2: number three, having options ready is key. Research shows us 197 00:12:07,657 --> 00:12:10,537 Speaker 2: that there's a really small window of time if someone 198 00:12:10,617 --> 00:12:14,017 Speaker 2: is struggling with addiction or substance use disorder. There's a 199 00:12:14,057 --> 00:12:17,537 Speaker 2: small window of time when they say like I need help. 200 00:12:17,857 --> 00:12:19,977 Speaker 2: And you may experience this in your own life. If 201 00:12:19,977 --> 00:12:23,017 Speaker 2: you're wanting to change a habit or behavior or struggling 202 00:12:23,017 --> 00:12:26,177 Speaker 2: with something, we have this moment of realization or God 203 00:12:26,217 --> 00:12:28,377 Speaker 2: brings us to this realization of oh my gosh, I 204 00:12:28,417 --> 00:12:31,217 Speaker 2: want to change right now? What families need to do 205 00:12:31,337 --> 00:12:35,657 Speaker 2: is have options ready immediately, like right now. Have that 206 00:12:35,737 --> 00:12:39,217 Speaker 2: list of places, whether that's addiction treatment, mental health treatment, 207 00:12:39,577 --> 00:12:42,977 Speaker 2: support groups, have that list ready. And one of the 208 00:12:43,577 --> 00:12:45,617 Speaker 2: other things that I do in my day job, I 209 00:12:45,657 --> 00:12:48,537 Speaker 2: work for recovery dot Com, so I always tell folks 210 00:12:48,617 --> 00:12:52,017 Speaker 2: check it out. It's an awesome online resource where you 211 00:12:52,097 --> 00:12:55,537 Speaker 2: can search for options for your loved one, you can 212 00:12:55,577 --> 00:12:58,977 Speaker 2: compare them, and you can connect directly with the human being, 213 00:12:59,497 --> 00:13:01,537 Speaker 2: so you can have a list ready when your loved 214 00:13:01,537 --> 00:13:04,137 Speaker 2: one is like, hey, I need help right now. So 215 00:13:04,537 --> 00:13:06,737 Speaker 2: those three things I think will go a long way 216 00:13:06,777 --> 00:13:09,457 Speaker 2: in helping equip families who might have a loved one 217 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:11,457 Speaker 2: that's struggling and they want to know what they can 218 00:13:11,497 --> 00:13:14,777 Speaker 2: do to support. The best thing that families can do 219 00:13:14,857 --> 00:13:18,897 Speaker 2: when their loved one is struggling is lead with love 220 00:13:19,297 --> 00:13:29,057 Speaker 2: and lead with compassion. Just for today, one day at 221 00:13:29,097 --> 00:13:32,697 Speaker 2: a time, in this moment, we're given this gift of 222 00:13:32,737 --> 00:13:36,137 Speaker 2: our loved ones healing. Let's enjoy that. Because it's such 223 00:13:36,177 --> 00:13:40,337 Speaker 2: a gift. It is so important to connect with God daily. 224 00:13:40,417 --> 00:13:43,217 Speaker 2: And I have to say yes, one hundred percent, Jesus 225 00:13:43,337 --> 00:13:48,017 Speaker 2: calling is a life saver. And even today I get messages. 226 00:13:48,057 --> 00:13:51,817 Speaker 2: I'm a part of this Facebook group. Women are posting 227 00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:55,017 Speaker 2: all the time the daily reflection for Jesus, calling I'm 228 00:13:55,017 --> 00:13:57,737 Speaker 2: getting it for this friend, this friend, this Facebook group 229 00:13:58,377 --> 00:14:02,497 Speaker 2: for women in recovery. This devotional has been so important 230 00:14:02,577 --> 00:14:05,737 Speaker 2: and I have gifted it to many a mentee for 231 00:14:05,777 --> 00:14:09,977 Speaker 2: the years. I think one of the gifts that recovery 232 00:14:11,097 --> 00:14:13,497 Speaker 2: shares with us as we go through, those of us 233 00:14:13,497 --> 00:14:17,737 Speaker 2: with lived experience, is this need for a daily practice, 234 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:23,137 Speaker 2: daily rhythm of not just reflection, but prayer and deep devotion. 235 00:14:23,817 --> 00:14:26,097 Speaker 2: Most of the people I know in recovery, like we 236 00:14:26,137 --> 00:14:29,657 Speaker 2: are taught that's how you start your day, similar to 237 00:14:30,297 --> 00:14:32,457 Speaker 2: if you learn that as you grew up in the church. 238 00:14:32,897 --> 00:14:35,817 Speaker 2: Like we start our day in prayer, we start our 239 00:14:35,897 --> 00:14:40,177 Speaker 2: day in the Word. We start our day really reflecting 240 00:14:40,217 --> 00:14:44,257 Speaker 2: on and connected to what it means to be saved 241 00:14:44,337 --> 00:14:47,737 Speaker 2: and what it means to be given this gift of life. 242 00:14:48,337 --> 00:14:50,897 Speaker 2: I think one of the gifts that recovery brings, one 243 00:14:50,937 --> 00:14:54,137 Speaker 2: of the many, is this gift of us being able 244 00:14:54,177 --> 00:14:58,217 Speaker 2: to realize our utter lead and dependence on God right away, 245 00:14:59,137 --> 00:15:01,937 Speaker 2: Like there is no pretense, there is no pretending, there 246 00:15:02,017 --> 00:15:05,057 Speaker 2: is no thought that we can just start our day. 247 00:15:05,097 --> 00:15:08,257 Speaker 2: How we want to start it, No, because if we do, 248 00:15:08,417 --> 00:15:11,737 Speaker 2: we know where that can be. And it honestly feels 249 00:15:11,777 --> 00:15:14,737 Speaker 2: like the pits of hell sometimes when you're in active addiction. 250 00:15:15,337 --> 00:15:18,937 Speaker 2: So I think this daily practice and this daily rhythm, 251 00:15:19,297 --> 00:15:22,857 Speaker 2: especially for women, is so so important. And to do 252 00:15:22,897 --> 00:15:26,217 Speaker 2: that grounded in scripture and beautiful reflections that we can 253 00:15:26,257 --> 00:15:28,937 Speaker 2: all connect with. I mean, what an amazing way to 254 00:15:28,937 --> 00:15:36,777 Speaker 2: start today. I'm reading from Jesus Listens, May seventeenth, Comforting God. 255 00:15:36,857 --> 00:15:39,897 Speaker 2: I love to hear you whispering in my mind. Do 256 00:15:39,977 --> 00:15:43,337 Speaker 2: not be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, 257 00:15:43,337 --> 00:15:46,457 Speaker 2: for I am your God. These loving words are like 258 00:15:46,497 --> 00:15:50,097 Speaker 2: a warm blanket wrapped around me, sheltering me from the 259 00:15:50,097 --> 00:15:54,697 Speaker 2: coldness of fear and discouragement. When trouble is stalking me, 260 00:15:55,257 --> 00:15:58,337 Speaker 2: remind me to grip your hand tightly and stay in 261 00:15:58,417 --> 00:16:02,577 Speaker 2: communication with you. I can trust and not be afraid 262 00:16:02,937 --> 00:16:07,577 Speaker 2: because you are my strength and song. Your powerful presence 263 00:16:07,737 --> 00:16:12,417 Speaker 2: is with me always. I face nothing alone. I'm grateful 264 00:16:12,457 --> 00:16:15,217 Speaker 2: that you have promised to strengthen me and help me. 265 00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:20,337 Speaker 2: Your strong hand supports me in both good and bad times. 266 00:16:21,017 --> 00:16:23,817 Speaker 2: When things are going smoothly in my life. I may 267 00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:28,257 Speaker 2: be less attentive to your faithful presence, but when I'm 268 00:16:28,297 --> 00:16:31,657 Speaker 2: walking through the valley of the shadow of death, I'm 269 00:16:31,737 --> 00:16:36,497 Speaker 2: profoundly aware of my need for you. At such times, 270 00:16:36,617 --> 00:16:41,217 Speaker 2: holding onto your hand keeps me standing and enables me 271 00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:44,617 Speaker 2: to put one foot in front of the other as 272 00:16:44,657 --> 00:16:50,137 Speaker 2: I seek to endure adversity in trusting dependence on you. 273 00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:53,457 Speaker 2: Please bless me with your peace and joy, in your presence, 274 00:16:54,177 --> 00:16:56,217 Speaker 2: in your dependable name Jesus. 275 00:16:58,737 --> 00:17:02,697 Speaker 1: To learn more about Caroline Bidler, visit www dot Caroline 276 00:17:02,737 --> 00:17:04,897 Speaker 1: Bidler dot com and be sure to check out her 277 00:17:04,897 --> 00:17:07,817 Speaker 1: new book, When You Love Someone in Recovery, a hopeful 278 00:17:07,817 --> 00:17:11,857 Speaker 1: guide to understanding addiction. At your favorite retailer. Stay tuned 279 00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:20,537 Speaker 1: to Jonathan Tepper's story after brief message. These uncertain times 280 00:17:20,537 --> 00:17:23,977 Speaker 1: bring anxiety and fear, but Jesus Listens Prayers for Every 281 00:17:24,017 --> 00:17:29,057 Speaker 1: Season gives you daily prayers of comfort with seasonally inspired illustrations. 282 00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:32,577 Speaker 1: This beautiful book includes prayers that speak to your situation, 283 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:36,417 Speaker 1: whether it's a time of stress or strength. Look for 284 00:17:36,497 --> 00:17:43,817 Speaker 1: Jesus Listens Prayers for Every Season wherever you buy books. 285 00:17:46,137 --> 00:17:48,936 Speaker 1: Our next guest is Jonathan Tepper, a writer and fund 286 00:17:48,937 --> 00:17:52,097 Speaker 1: manager whose new memoir, Shooting Up, looks back on his 287 00:17:52,217 --> 00:17:55,857 Speaker 1: unconventional upbringing in Spain. He grew up surrounded by his parents' 288 00:17:55,857 --> 00:17:58,577 Speaker 1: work with people battling addiction, and he shares how those 289 00:17:58,617 --> 00:18:02,097 Speaker 1: early experiences gave him perspective on family loss and what 290 00:18:02,137 --> 00:18:04,177 Speaker 1: it really means to show up for others. 291 00:18:05,777 --> 00:18:09,737 Speaker 3: Is Jonathan Tepper and i am a fund manager also 292 00:18:10,217 --> 00:18:13,217 Speaker 3: a writer, and I've just written Shooting Up, a memoir 293 00:18:13,377 --> 00:18:16,577 Speaker 3: about my childhood growing up as a missionary kid in Spain. 294 00:18:20,377 --> 00:18:24,097 Speaker 3: My parents were American father from New York from North Carolina. 295 00:18:24,497 --> 00:18:28,216 Speaker 3: As a missionary kid, I spent about four years in 296 00:18:28,417 --> 00:18:30,777 Speaker 3: Mexico and then my parents moved to Spain in nineteen 297 00:18:30,817 --> 00:18:33,337 Speaker 3: eighty three when I was seven. So people ask where 298 00:18:33,377 --> 00:18:36,817 Speaker 3: I'm from, I generally say Madrid. My parents were Christian missionaries, 299 00:18:36,857 --> 00:18:39,777 Speaker 3: and I think their entire lives were based on a calling, 300 00:18:39,977 --> 00:18:42,857 Speaker 3: the Great Commission. That was the central part of their 301 00:18:42,897 --> 00:18:45,937 Speaker 3: identity and existence. When you're a missionary kid, you get 302 00:18:46,017 --> 00:18:48,177 Speaker 3: roped into your parents' work and they're calling, and so 303 00:18:48,457 --> 00:18:50,817 Speaker 3: it really does take over your entire life, whether you 304 00:18:50,857 --> 00:18:53,497 Speaker 3: want it or not. You don't have any say in 305 00:18:53,577 --> 00:18:56,456 Speaker 3: the decision making process. I remember my parents telling us 306 00:18:56,497 --> 00:18:59,097 Speaker 3: we were going to Madrid, and that was pretty much it. 307 00:18:59,177 --> 00:19:01,817 Speaker 3: And then when we got to Madrid, initially they wanted 308 00:19:01,857 --> 00:19:04,177 Speaker 3: to work with university students, my father wanted to be 309 00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:06,537 Speaker 3: a university chaplain, and then they told us that they 310 00:19:06,537 --> 00:19:09,857 Speaker 3: wanted to work with heroin addicts and started Doug Rehab Center. 311 00:19:10,377 --> 00:19:12,936 Speaker 3: And I think the way I remembered it was a 312 00:19:12,937 --> 00:19:18,137 Speaker 3: big adventure. I don't think I fully realized how abnormal 313 00:19:18,177 --> 00:19:20,857 Speaker 3: it was, or that it might be somewhat dangerous, or 314 00:19:21,417 --> 00:19:25,417 Speaker 3: certainly perceived that way. And then certainly some family and 315 00:19:25,657 --> 00:19:29,897 Speaker 3: friends they're horrified that my parents would take their young 316 00:19:30,017 --> 00:19:32,537 Speaker 3: kids and involve them in a mission like that, But 317 00:19:33,057 --> 00:19:36,137 Speaker 3: at the time it certainly felt like an adventure to us. 318 00:19:36,417 --> 00:19:38,577 Speaker 3: When we arrived in Spain, I was seven years old, 319 00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:40,696 Speaker 3: and for the first two years, my brothers and I 320 00:19:40,817 --> 00:19:43,577 Speaker 3: were handing out flyers in the neighborhood in some Blasts, 321 00:19:43,577 --> 00:19:46,337 Speaker 3: which at the time had the highest rate of heroin 322 00:19:46,457 --> 00:19:49,577 Speaker 3: use in Europe, And that was why my parents decided 323 00:19:49,577 --> 00:19:51,936 Speaker 3: to help addicts, because the need was so overwhelming, And 324 00:19:51,977 --> 00:19:56,137 Speaker 3: so my memories from an early age were meeting men 325 00:19:56,177 --> 00:19:58,617 Speaker 3: and women on the street, often as they were shooting 326 00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:01,577 Speaker 3: up and then they would come to our house for meetings, 327 00:20:01,577 --> 00:20:04,017 Speaker 3: and my parents started a church. And so I think 328 00:20:04,017 --> 00:20:07,657 Speaker 3: the most vivid memories I had really the people, particularly 329 00:20:07,697 --> 00:20:11,857 Speaker 3: the first addict in the program. I knew him, you know, 330 00:20:11,897 --> 00:20:14,936 Speaker 3: when he was fis, smelly and dirty and came to 331 00:20:15,017 --> 00:20:17,777 Speaker 3: our house. And then he became like an older brother 332 00:20:17,857 --> 00:20:19,417 Speaker 3: to us, and he was the first addict in the 333 00:20:19,417 --> 00:20:23,337 Speaker 3: center and a very charismatic leader. And then over the years, 334 00:20:23,737 --> 00:20:26,497 Speaker 3: my memories were visiting in the hospital on Tarmonica had 335 00:20:27,097 --> 00:20:30,216 Speaker 3: and I think of him every day a fight how 336 00:20:30,337 --> 00:20:33,017 Speaker 3: here on my desk in the office. And you never 337 00:20:33,057 --> 00:20:37,577 Speaker 3: forget people that you love like that, my parents tried 338 00:20:37,617 --> 00:20:41,696 Speaker 3: to live out their Christian faith and the principles, you know, 339 00:20:41,737 --> 00:20:44,257 Speaker 3: the circle on them ount and showing love and compassion 340 00:20:44,257 --> 00:20:46,537 Speaker 3: to others. And I think if you look at the 341 00:20:46,577 --> 00:20:50,617 Speaker 3: example of Jesus, and he spent time with Leopards who 342 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:53,497 Speaker 3: were socially outcast, no one wanted to touch them or 343 00:20:53,537 --> 00:20:55,977 Speaker 3: be around them. He spent time with Smaritans who were 344 00:20:56,017 --> 00:20:59,337 Speaker 3: also social outcasts, with people who were hated at the time, 345 00:20:59,577 --> 00:21:02,537 Speaker 3: like Rowan soldiers and tax collectors. And I think that 346 00:21:02,617 --> 00:21:05,257 Speaker 3: my parents, even though drug addicts and people with AIDS 347 00:21:05,617 --> 00:21:09,497 Speaker 3: were certainly the leopards or undesirables in the nineteen eighties 348 00:21:09,497 --> 00:21:14,417 Speaker 3: and even later. My parents were drawn to them to 349 00:21:14,457 --> 00:21:16,977 Speaker 3: show them love, to try to live out their faith 350 00:21:17,217 --> 00:21:19,577 Speaker 3: day to day, and so I found it enormously inspiring 351 00:21:19,657 --> 00:21:22,017 Speaker 3: to see that. And when I was young, I used 352 00:21:22,057 --> 00:21:24,217 Speaker 3: to read a lot, and I think it probably depended 353 00:21:24,217 --> 00:21:26,377 Speaker 3: what year you asked me what I wanted to do. 354 00:21:27,257 --> 00:21:29,537 Speaker 3: I tended to be excited by the latest things I 355 00:21:29,577 --> 00:21:31,657 Speaker 3: was doing, so you know, for a while, I wanted 356 00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:34,177 Speaker 3: to be a jazz trumpet player, and I wanted to 357 00:21:34,177 --> 00:21:36,457 Speaker 3: be President of the United States, and then I wanted 358 00:21:36,497 --> 00:21:40,297 Speaker 3: to do many other things depending on what I was reading. 359 00:21:40,377 --> 00:21:47,736 Speaker 3: So it really did depend on the year. I run 360 00:21:47,817 --> 00:21:52,417 Speaker 3: an investment fund for endowments and family offices and ended 361 00:21:52,497 --> 00:21:55,137 Speaker 3: up going to Oxford as a Rhodes scholar, and it's 362 00:21:55,177 --> 00:21:57,377 Speaker 3: a world away for the childhood that I grew up 363 00:21:57,417 --> 00:22:00,057 Speaker 3: in and then seeing my parents, which started out as 364 00:22:00,057 --> 00:22:03,177 Speaker 3: a very small center tion into an international and a 365 00:22:03,257 --> 00:22:08,337 Speaker 3: multinational drug rehab I am today. Sometimes it did feel 366 00:22:08,657 --> 00:22:11,857 Speaker 3: there were two separate sides of my life that never met, 367 00:22:12,177 --> 00:22:14,897 Speaker 3: but I feel that they were connected. My parents always 368 00:22:15,177 --> 00:22:18,057 Speaker 3: encouraged us to pursue our passions and our interests, and 369 00:22:18,497 --> 00:22:21,297 Speaker 3: gave me a great love of learning. And they also 370 00:22:21,577 --> 00:22:25,417 Speaker 3: tried to show compassion, and the drug center itself ran 371 00:22:25,537 --> 00:22:29,257 Speaker 3: businesses which provided a free drug rehabilitation. I hope I 372 00:22:29,297 --> 00:22:32,457 Speaker 3: can dedicate my time and money to help those in need. 373 00:22:32,497 --> 00:22:34,537 Speaker 3: And I think one thing I've taken away is that 374 00:22:34,777 --> 00:22:38,456 Speaker 3: you can be a miserable, grady person in poor you 375 00:22:38,457 --> 00:22:43,377 Speaker 3: can be a miserable, greedy person, and rich. You have 376 00:22:43,417 --> 00:22:45,417 Speaker 3: to decide every day whether you want to be loving 377 00:22:45,457 --> 00:22:48,497 Speaker 3: and compassionate, and it doesn't really matter where you are 378 00:22:48,697 --> 00:22:50,737 Speaker 3: to do that, as long as you're doing your best 379 00:22:50,817 --> 00:22:54,377 Speaker 3: with what you have. I don't think that heroism is 380 00:22:54,697 --> 00:22:57,457 Speaker 3: one single great act of courage, although that obviously can happen. 381 00:22:57,897 --> 00:23:00,457 Speaker 3: But I think that it's showing up day to day 382 00:23:00,497 --> 00:23:05,137 Speaker 3: and trying to show love compassion to others. At home, 383 00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:07,697 Speaker 3: my parents always had a devotional when we were young. 384 00:23:07,737 --> 00:23:09,497 Speaker 3: My father they used to be very long, and he 385 00:23:09,537 --> 00:23:14,736 Speaker 3: called them the pontifications. They would read not only the Bible, 386 00:23:14,817 --> 00:23:17,976 Speaker 3: but it works of literature and philosophy to us, and 387 00:23:18,017 --> 00:23:20,577 Speaker 3: then prayer was certainly an important part of that. And 388 00:23:20,617 --> 00:23:23,337 Speaker 3: the TRUG recab center itself. No one had to be 389 00:23:23,617 --> 00:23:26,137 Speaker 3: a Christian or believe anything to enter, and you know, 390 00:23:26,497 --> 00:23:29,097 Speaker 3: it was open to all who needed help. But the 391 00:23:29,137 --> 00:23:32,097 Speaker 3: morning devotionals were a part of daily life, and then 392 00:23:32,137 --> 00:23:35,177 Speaker 3: there was a Sunday morning Servius, and so prayer was 393 00:23:35,177 --> 00:23:38,817 Speaker 3: certainly an important part there. And there's a quote from C. S. 394 00:23:38,897 --> 00:23:39,177 Speaker 1: Lewis. 395 00:23:39,217 --> 00:23:42,137 Speaker 3: He said, I don't pray to change God. I pray 396 00:23:42,177 --> 00:23:44,057 Speaker 3: because it changes me. And I think that's a very 397 00:23:44,057 --> 00:23:46,977 Speaker 3: important element of prayer. And certainly when you're seeing people 398 00:23:46,977 --> 00:23:49,497 Speaker 3: whose lives are being changed, it's very easy to be 399 00:23:49,537 --> 00:23:52,537 Speaker 3: self involved or to not think of others. And I 400 00:23:52,537 --> 00:23:55,696 Speaker 3: think that the idea that there is something greater than 401 00:23:55,737 --> 00:23:59,497 Speaker 3: ourselves ideally should give us a little more humility and 402 00:23:59,737 --> 00:24:02,137 Speaker 3: let us think of ourselves a little less. Cso said, 403 00:24:02,217 --> 00:24:06,017 Speaker 3: not thinking less of ourselves, but thinking of ourselves less. Necessariately, 404 00:24:06,097 --> 00:24:09,897 Speaker 3: think that thinking of God does that. I think that 405 00:24:10,137 --> 00:24:13,737 Speaker 3: my parents helped herooneutics because that was the overwhelming need 406 00:24:13,897 --> 00:24:15,857 Speaker 3: that was there in some blasts. But I think many 407 00:24:15,897 --> 00:24:20,057 Speaker 3: people live in different circumstances and their immediate needs that 408 00:24:20,337 --> 00:24:24,417 Speaker 3: are near them, whether it's homelessness or a lack of education, 409 00:24:25,417 --> 00:24:27,817 Speaker 3: need to help with literacy, whatever, it might be a 410 00:24:27,977 --> 00:24:31,097 Speaker 3: foster care system where there's so much need in suffering 411 00:24:31,137 --> 00:24:33,377 Speaker 3: in the world, and I think that you don't really 412 00:24:33,377 --> 00:24:37,297 Speaker 3: have to plan a multi year, multi decade journey. My 413 00:24:37,377 --> 00:24:40,857 Speaker 3: parents never planned on starting an international degreehab center. They 414 00:24:40,857 --> 00:24:43,177 Speaker 3: set out to show love and compassion to one addict 415 00:24:43,177 --> 00:24:45,657 Speaker 3: at a time, and I think that taking one step 416 00:24:45,697 --> 00:24:48,417 Speaker 3: at a time is the way that you can change 417 00:24:48,457 --> 00:24:50,177 Speaker 3: the world, even if you don't sit out to do it. 418 00:24:52,497 --> 00:24:56,057 Speaker 1: To learn more about Jonathan Tepper, visit Jonathan dash Tepper 419 00:24:56,297 --> 00:24:58,657 Speaker 1: dot com and be sure to check out his new book, 420 00:24:58,817 --> 00:25:02,177 Speaker 1: Shooting Up at your favorite retailer. If you'd like to 421 00:25:02,177 --> 00:25:04,776 Speaker 1: hear more stories about breaking free from addiction, check out 422 00:25:04,777 --> 00:25:12,696 Speaker 1: our interview with Ryanan Sheckler. Next Time on the Jesus 423 00:25:12,697 --> 00:25:16,216 Speaker 1: Calling podcast, singer songwriter Amy Grant opens up about the 424 00:25:16,257 --> 00:25:20,417 Speaker 1: profound realities of aging, family and resilience. She reflects on 425 00:25:20,497 --> 00:25:23,497 Speaker 1: caring for our parents through dementia, her own recovery from 426 00:25:23,497 --> 00:25:27,177 Speaker 1: a serious bike accident, and how these experiences have transformed 427 00:25:27,217 --> 00:25:29,057 Speaker 1: her outlook on life and her music. 428 00:25:30,497 --> 00:25:32,377 Speaker 4: You need people in your life to remind you of 429 00:25:32,377 --> 00:25:35,017 Speaker 4: what matters, to remind you you're right on time. For 430 00:25:35,057 --> 00:25:38,657 Speaker 4: your life. You are loved by God. Your life matters. 431 00:25:39,377 --> 00:25:42,017 Speaker 4: If you are still breathing, the adventure continues. 432 00:25:47,097 --> 00:25:49,657 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to the Jesus Calling Stories of Faith 433 00:25:49,737 --> 00:25:53,577 Speaker 1: podcast on the Life Audio Network. Every week, we'll bring 434 00:25:53,577 --> 00:25:56,177 Speaker 1: you stories from people who share their journeys of faith 435 00:25:56,537 --> 00:26:00,216 Speaker 1: and how prayer and a relationship with God transformed their lives. 436 00:26:00,977 --> 00:26:04,377 Speaker 1: Be sure to follow us on Apple, Spotify, iHeart, or 437 00:26:04,417 --> 00:26:07,337 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to po podcasts, and leave us a 438 00:26:07,377 --> 00:26:10,417 Speaker 1: review so others can be inspired weekly by these stories 439 00:26:10,417 --> 00:26:14,817 Speaker 1: of faith. Finally, you can find encouragement resources and more 440 00:26:15,097 --> 00:26:19,057 Speaker 1: on the Jesus Calling website at Jesuscalling dot com