1 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of 2 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: hours of Dennis's lectures, courses in classic radio programs, and 3 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:32,400 Speaker 1: to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to Dennisprager dot. 4 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:41,199 Speaker 2: Com number seven. And this is a This is the 5 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:47,600 Speaker 2: most controversial one that I think that I offer. Don't 6 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:52,839 Speaker 2: take your spouse's love or even your spouse's fidelity for granted. 7 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 2: Let me tell you a little about my outlook on 8 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:58,960 Speaker 2: life on a subject that is very big in America, 9 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 2: unconditional love. I think unconditional love is for little children, period. 10 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:08,120 Speaker 2: I don't think it's for adults. I am not a 11 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:10,120 Speaker 2: fan of the concept, just like I'm not a fan 12 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:16,000 Speaker 2: of the concept of soulmate. I think unconditional love is 13 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 2: wildly exaggerated in its desirability and in it's good. I 14 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,880 Speaker 2: don't expect unconditional love from my wife. I would. I 15 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:27,479 Speaker 2: would hope that she would have the self respect, in fact, 16 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:31,520 Speaker 2: that if I truly treated her in cruel ways, that 17 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:36,039 Speaker 2: that love would ultimately diminish. Of course, well how can 18 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 2: I can't. I don't want to wake up every day anything. 19 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:40,679 Speaker 2: No matter how I act, she is just going to 20 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:43,040 Speaker 2: love me, or or that she should feel that way. 21 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 2: No matter how I act, he will love me. You 22 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 2: didn't think that when you were dating, Why should it 23 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:51,520 Speaker 2: be true when you're married. You should never, ever, ever 24 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 2: take your spouse for granted. I see that, I believe. 25 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 2: I see that with many couples who let themselves go, 26 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:01,600 Speaker 2: who don't try to be the best spouse, the most attractive. 27 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:03,680 Speaker 2: And by attractive, I mean it in the hundreds of 28 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 2: ways that they could be for their spouse. Well, why not? 29 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,360 Speaker 2: I don't understand. You showered. I'm going to use an 30 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 2: example that won't violate any any any I suspect everybody 31 00:02:13,519 --> 00:02:18,360 Speaker 2: showers regularly. That you're American after all. But uh, but 32 00:02:18,519 --> 00:02:20,960 Speaker 2: I mean, you know, well, you try to smell good 33 00:02:20,959 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 2: and look good when you dated. When you dated, why 34 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,280 Speaker 2: don't you try to smell good and look good when 35 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 2: you're married. I don't understand. Oh, I'm married, and therefore, oh, 36 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 2: I don't have to earn his love. I don't have 37 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:33,160 Speaker 2: to earn her love. I'm a believer in earning love. 38 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,240 Speaker 2: I know this. That's why I say it's controversial. The 39 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 2: very term earning love does not sit well with a 40 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:42,320 Speaker 2: lot of my fellow Americans. I don't know exactly why. 41 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 2: I think it's a very noble concept that I earned 42 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:50,240 Speaker 2: the love of somebody. I have to earn my children's respect. 43 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,000 Speaker 2: Now they have to act respectful because of that. I 44 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 2: believe that children should act in a way that respects parents. 45 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 2: But I have to earn their respect. I believe that 46 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,800 Speaker 2: we earned these things, and I believe that one should 47 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 2: go through life earning every day again, re earning the 48 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:11,519 Speaker 2: love and respect of one's spouse. If you take the 49 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 2: spouse's love for granted, well, how could you imagine that 50 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:19,240 Speaker 2: it's going to continue to work? Well, it just it 51 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 2: boggles my mind, And it holds true for everything. Don't 52 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 2: take any aspect of their love for granted. Continually earn 53 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,200 Speaker 2: it as you felt you had to when you were dating. 54 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:41,160 Speaker 2: Number eight. Give each other freedom. Now for some people 55 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 2: that's easier than for others, but for everybody it is necessary. 56 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 2: People who love you and freedom are much better than 57 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:52,200 Speaker 2: people who love you in being controlled. First of all, 58 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 2: at a given point, you can't control your spouse anyway, 59 00:03:55,840 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 2: so don't even try. It's a beautiful thing to be 60 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:04,200 Speaker 2: able to say, Okay, that's your way, you do it. Okay, 61 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 2: you need your time, or you need this, or you 62 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 2: need that. Marriage isn't a prison. Marriage should in fact 63 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 2: be liberating. Think of it that way. Think of it 64 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:18,479 Speaker 2: as liberating, and then is it can become liberating. You 65 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:23,920 Speaker 2: don't own each other. You are partners in making a beautifully, better, 66 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:29,919 Speaker 2: more meaningful life together. Freedom is the essence I think 67 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 2: of a happier life. Now, there are areas where you know, 68 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,680 Speaker 2: at some point, obviously you have to put your foot 69 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 2: down if someone is abusing the freedom. I mean, I 70 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,920 Speaker 2: you know, guys tell me they call up and they say, 71 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:45,599 Speaker 2: you know, uh my, my wife doesn't like the fact 72 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,120 Speaker 2: that I'm you know, you know, I go out with 73 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:50,159 Speaker 2: the guys three nights a week. Well, I don't blame 74 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:51,840 Speaker 2: your wife for not liking that you go out with 75 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 2: the guys three nights a week. If you wanted to 76 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:54,960 Speaker 2: go out with the guys three nights a week, you 77 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 2: should have stayed single. Yes, so that's too much, that's 78 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 2: too much. You owe things to your spouse. Obviously, however 79 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,279 Speaker 2: you will interpret freedom is your business. But I'm telling 80 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,839 Speaker 2: you I believe that it is a source of joy 81 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:14,160 Speaker 2: in a marriage to give each other as much freedom 82 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:20,920 Speaker 2: as possible. Number nine. Well, I guess it's not that 83 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:26,560 Speaker 2: wasn't the only controversial Number nine and ten are related. 84 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 2: I wrote a book on happiness, and when I lecture 85 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,920 Speaker 2: on happiness, as in my book, I state what I 86 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:38,160 Speaker 2: believe to be the single greatest obstacle to human happiness, 87 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 2: and that is human nature. Our very human nature is 88 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 2: the greatest obstacle to our being happy. And the single 89 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:51,279 Speaker 2: greatest part of human nature that is obstacle to happiness 90 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:58,279 Speaker 2: is we are insatiable anything we want. We are never 91 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 2: satisfied with the amount of it that we have. Money, 92 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 2: we want more. If it's money that you want, some 93 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 2: people are satisfied with the money they have. If you 94 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 2: want money, there is no income that you say, I 95 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 2: now have enough money. I am perfectly satisfied. If you 96 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,599 Speaker 2: want attention, you will never have enough attention. Look at 97 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:22,520 Speaker 2: hollywod with actors. They crave attention. They never have enough. 98 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,560 Speaker 2: That's why there were so many awards. Is there any 99 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 2: profession in the world that has an awards program every week? 100 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,479 Speaker 2: Can you imagine if your profession had that Every week 101 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:38,920 Speaker 2: you get together to adulate members of your profession. It's unbelievable. 102 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:44,920 Speaker 2: They live for it. They live to be applauded, adulated, photographed, 103 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,840 Speaker 2: So there's never enough. No one will I now have enough. 104 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:53,400 Speaker 2: I'm perfectly satisfied if you will crave sex. There's no 105 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 2: times I have enough sex. What man in the history 106 00:06:56,680 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 2: of the world, especially men. Okay, I'm going to get 107 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:03,279 Speaker 2: that out with the next numbers have exactly the amount 108 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:06,480 Speaker 2: I want. I seek, no more, at least at least 109 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:10,680 Speaker 2: under ninety I can't speak. Oh, by the way, I 110 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,520 Speaker 2: have a story. I'll tell you about ninety. This will 111 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 2: help you understand men, because I'm going to talk about 112 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:20,680 Speaker 2: male female differences in this arena of satiability, where men 113 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 2: and women have one major area of difference and insatiability. 114 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,280 Speaker 2: I'll never forget. This was one of my all time 115 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 2: favorite calls in twenty years of calls. A woman doctor 116 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:34,560 Speaker 2: calls me up and she says, you know, Dennis, men 117 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 2: are impossible. You know. I said why exactly? She said, 118 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:41,840 Speaker 2: you know, I want to tell you something. You talk. 119 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:46,040 Speaker 2: You talk about how men look at women and so on, 120 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:49,240 Speaker 2: see us sex objects. I was with a ninety year 121 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:54,000 Speaker 2: old patient who was dying, and as he was dying, 122 00:07:54,320 --> 00:08:03,600 Speaker 2: he was looking down my blouse. Well, this is what 123 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 2: I told her, I said, doctor, I envy that man. 124 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 2: That is my wish for when I die. 125 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:23,640 Speaker 1: This episode of timeless wisdom will continue right after this. 126 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom. 127 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:41,679 Speaker 2: The poor woman wanted me to be understanding of her plight, 128 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:45,480 Speaker 2: and instead I identified with the old geezer who was 129 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:49,560 Speaker 2: about to croak. And it was a It was a 130 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:52,520 Speaker 2: great moment where you know, you realize how different men 131 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 2: and women are. So let me talk about insatiability when 132 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:59,679 Speaker 2: it comes to money, attention and all this stuff, uh, security, 133 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:01,960 Speaker 2: a whole host of things. Men and women have equal 134 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:07,440 Speaker 2: insatiability drives. But there is an area of insatiability in 135 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 2: most men and an area of insatiability in most women, 136 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:13,840 Speaker 2: which is a cause for tremendous amount of marital friction. 137 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,280 Speaker 2: For men, it's in the sexual arena, and for women 138 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:22,040 Speaker 2: it's in the intimacy arena, the emotional arena. Very few men, 139 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,240 Speaker 2: as I said, say oh, I am completely satisfied, and 140 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:28,400 Speaker 2: the issue is not that their wife is not satisfying this. 141 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 2: I have a talk which I do hope to write 142 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:35,080 Speaker 2: a book on male sexuality because I think men don't 143 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:39,240 Speaker 2: like to explain themselves to their wives because we don't 144 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:44,600 Speaker 2: look impressive. Our sexual nature is much closer to that 145 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:49,920 Speaker 2: of an orangutan. It is, in fact, I'm sorry to say, 146 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:52,600 Speaker 2: and my wife is shaking her head as I speak. 147 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:56,960 Speaker 2: We are closer to roosters, which is really down the 148 00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:02,120 Speaker 2: animal line, than we are to our wives. I understand. 149 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,320 Speaker 2: I hate to say this because it's embarrassing, but it 150 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,240 Speaker 2: has to be said. Somebody has to say this. I 151 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:11,160 Speaker 2: understand when that we keep chickens, and I understand when 152 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:14,120 Speaker 2: the rooster pops on top of all the heads. I 153 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 2: totally relate to the guy my kind of rooster. My 154 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,600 Speaker 2: wife looks at the rooster and thinks he's an animal. 155 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,000 Speaker 2: What the hell is there's no foreplay, they don't talk, 156 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 2: he doesn't care. It could be this one that just 157 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:39,559 Speaker 2: bodies to him like, oh I was strange. Now, now 158 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:45,640 Speaker 2: let me tell you this is a gentleman. This is 159 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 2: an unsolvable issue. I just want you to know that, 160 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,679 Speaker 2: and when you know that, you can start making peace 161 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 2: with it. Your desire for a variety cannot ever be 162 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:03,560 Speaker 2: met unless you're Hugh Hefner, who has become an actual 163 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 2: almost a buffoon in his life by marriage unfettered by 164 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:14,280 Speaker 2: limitations financially or socially. He is. He is not a pervert. 165 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:19,880 Speaker 2: He's empty. Yes, he's empty. And if men follow their 166 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,440 Speaker 2: sexual nature they end up empty. That is true. We 167 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 2: can't and thank God for monogamy. It makes us much better. 168 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:33,200 Speaker 2: But that doesn't mean that the rooster type yearning ever dies. 169 00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:36,560 Speaker 2: It doesn't. And wives, you have to know this about 170 00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:38,800 Speaker 2: your husband. He may not tell you this. I'm telling 171 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:44,400 Speaker 2: you on his behalf because you will think he's a pervert. 172 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:48,600 Speaker 2: He's not a pervert. He's a male. He's not female. 173 00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:51,600 Speaker 2: Females can't think the way we do. It's like asking 174 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,360 Speaker 2: me to think the way an orangutan does. I can't. 175 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,200 Speaker 2: I can't put my brain in that of an ape. 176 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:01,000 Speaker 2: That's why it would entail for you, females, to put 177 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:06,920 Speaker 2: your brain in us. The power of the visual to stimulate, 178 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:11,480 Speaker 2: to arouse is not available in the female world. It's 179 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:15,160 Speaker 2: not You are turned on by different things, Your yearnings 180 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:19,560 Speaker 2: are different. So this is an area of where males 181 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:24,840 Speaker 2: have an insatiability that if the wife knows this, she 182 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:29,200 Speaker 2: can understand him better not be angry. He can't act 183 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:32,320 Speaker 2: it out. Obviously, it's not a defensive acting it out. 184 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:35,440 Speaker 2: It is a defense of understanding your man and trying 185 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 2: to meet him in this arena. You want proof of this, 186 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,320 Speaker 2: there was a great There are a million proofs and 187 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,880 Speaker 2: I can't give that lecture now, it's an hour long 188 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,559 Speaker 2: lecture on its own. But I'll give you the best one. 189 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:50,480 Speaker 2: You remember the British actor. And I don't need to 190 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,960 Speaker 2: say his name because I don't. To me, it's gossip, 191 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:56,680 Speaker 2: even though you all know who I'm talking about. Who 192 00:12:56,800 --> 00:13:06,559 Speaker 2: was living with Elizabeth Hurley. Okay, Now, Elizabeth Hurley was 193 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:11,640 Speaker 2: voted the most sexiest woman in the world on the internet. Okay, 194 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:15,760 Speaker 2: she's a beautiful woman. Everybody knows that, right so, and 195 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 2: this should come as some This is a very important 196 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:22,479 Speaker 2: lesson here he is living with the most gorgeous woman. Theoretically, 197 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:26,959 Speaker 2: the most gorgeous woman comes to LA and does what 198 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,480 Speaker 2: he does. There are miners here does what he does 199 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 2: with a woman who, with all respect to her, is 200 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:38,600 Speaker 2: not beautiful. You may recall the story now, I remember 201 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 2: people saying this is unbelievable. Guys with Elizabeth Turley, and 202 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:44,800 Speaker 2: look at what he does when he leaves the house. 203 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:50,840 Speaker 2: Because it's variety, it's not a comment on the beauty 204 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:54,000 Speaker 2: or the loveliness of your wife, of you the woman 205 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 2: when he is looking. It has nothing to do with you, nothing, 206 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,480 Speaker 2: It has to do with him, and he is that 207 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:05,240 Speaker 2: example of that actor is the perfect example. This is 208 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:11,640 Speaker 2: not a defense of male infidelity. It is an explanation 209 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:16,280 Speaker 2: to have some compassion, yes, compassion for this weight that 210 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:21,800 Speaker 2: your man carries. Yes, here we go again, all right, 211 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:30,080 Speaker 2: fun now, and may it be weightier and waightier now now. 212 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:34,440 Speaker 2: But women have an area of insatiability unrelated to that. 213 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:37,000 Speaker 2: It is not all man have to Oh, I'm just 214 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 2: aching further every hunk I can find, I have to have. 215 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:44,720 Speaker 2: Women don't think that way. Women's insatiability is more and 216 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:48,480 Speaker 2: more complex and is in the emotional arena. Whereas, just 217 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:49,880 Speaker 2: as a man is not going to say, oh, I'm 218 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,480 Speaker 2: perfectly satisfied with the amount of da da da da da, 219 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:55,200 Speaker 2: you're not going to have a woman say almost ever, 220 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:58,760 Speaker 2: I am perfectly satisfied with the level of intimacy that 221 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:02,480 Speaker 2: I have. I want no more intimacy from with my 222 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,400 Speaker 2: husband than I have now. I want no more attention. 223 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:08,120 Speaker 2: We spend the exact amount of time together that I 224 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:11,280 Speaker 2: would like it doesn't know. I've never met a woman 225 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,560 Speaker 2: who said that. Maybe there are I acknowledge that there 226 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:19,000 Speaker 2: could be. These are generalizations. She wants more time with you. 227 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:23,600 Speaker 2: The common just as I talked about the male burden, 228 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:27,880 Speaker 2: the female burden, is that she wants more and more, 229 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:31,920 Speaker 2: more time, more attention, more love, more and and and 230 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:36,040 Speaker 2: there's never a time where it's sufficient. And that is 231 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,680 Speaker 2: some That is what you need to know as a female. 232 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 2: That if that, while he can always improve it can 233 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:45,640 Speaker 2: you will never be fully satisfied in that arena. Most 234 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:49,760 Speaker 2: likely some women may well be, but most likely not. 235 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,520 Speaker 2: That's why women walk around. He never listens. By the way, 236 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,240 Speaker 2: let me tell you about that. Your husband does listen. 237 00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,640 Speaker 2: You know I've been very fair about both sexes. So 238 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,240 Speaker 2: let me say on behalf of your husband. He does listen. 239 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:04,040 Speaker 2: He doesn't remember. 240 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:11,120 Speaker 1: This episode of timeless wisdom will continue right after this. 241 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:21,720 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom. 242 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:26,160 Speaker 2: That's very important. It was a very important distinction. Five 243 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:29,560 Speaker 2: minutes later, he doesn't know what you said. But while 244 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:33,200 Speaker 2: you spoke, he really was listening. But you can't take 245 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:39,080 Speaker 2: it personally. He doesn't remember what anybody says. Men remember 246 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:45,680 Speaker 2: who died, batting averages, stock prices and that sort of stuff. 247 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 2: In other words, macro stuff that they need to remember. 248 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 2: You know that he spoke to his brother on the phone, 249 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:54,120 Speaker 2: your husband correct, twenty minutes. He was on the phone 250 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:58,160 Speaker 2: with your brother and his brother said, hey, honey, what'd 251 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,400 Speaker 2: you talk about? And what is his answer? That's right, 252 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,040 Speaker 2: I don't have to tell you yet. It's correct. Nothing. 253 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:09,800 Speaker 2: Now the woman is now perplexed. I heard him speaking 254 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:14,000 Speaker 2: for twenty minutes. It is not possible that nothing was said. 255 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:18,239 Speaker 2: I know something was said, but for him it was 256 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 2: nothing because no one went bankrupt and no one died. 257 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,960 Speaker 2: By the way, it's not funny. I have forgotten people 258 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,720 Speaker 2: who died. I forgot to tell my wife about that 259 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:35,720 Speaker 2: on phone calls, so I know she's shaking her head. 260 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:39,000 Speaker 2: Poor thing. I tell you this is the way. By 261 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,040 Speaker 2: the way, this is there's a proof of this. The 262 00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:43,600 Speaker 2: university I think it was a Wisconsin did a survey. 263 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 2: They had male students alone. A man student would sit 264 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,080 Speaker 2: in a room alone for a few hours, and then 265 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 2: they would ask him what did you think about? And 266 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:57,880 Speaker 2: they would ask the They would do the same thing 267 00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,040 Speaker 2: with the female students alone in the room a couple 268 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:03,000 Speaker 2: of hours. What did you think about? So the men, 269 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,200 Speaker 2: what did they think about? They thought about sex and sports? 270 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,800 Speaker 2: What did the women think about? This was what fascinated 271 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,200 Speaker 2: them the men thing bored me, of course, I was 272 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:20,040 Speaker 2: surprised about the sports and anyway, the women. This is 273 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:28,919 Speaker 2: what the women thought about, the reviewed conversations they had had. Now, 274 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:31,720 Speaker 2: I want you to know something. There is not a 275 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:35,720 Speaker 2: man in this room who, under torture could review a 276 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:47,000 Speaker 2: conversation he had? What conversation? So why do I tell 277 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:50,119 Speaker 2: you all this to understand how different the person is 278 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 2: that you are married to. She's not a witch, he's 279 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,479 Speaker 2: not a jerk. She's a female, he's a male. The 280 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,879 Speaker 2: better you know how different we are, the better we 281 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:03,800 Speaker 2: could love and respect each other. Virtually done here, let's see, 282 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,320 Speaker 2: Oh yes, two more and then I'm done. So that 283 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:14,040 Speaker 2: means eleven and twelve. This is oh yes. Another controversial one. 284 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:18,440 Speaker 2: Do not automatically divorce if the other person has been unfaithful. 285 00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:22,760 Speaker 2: I strongly believe in that. I believe that if there 286 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:25,439 Speaker 2: is a if we have a serial adulter, or you 287 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:29,000 Speaker 2: can't live with that person. Obviously, but I believe and 288 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,720 Speaker 2: I have talked this over with so many callers over 289 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,320 Speaker 2: the years. I'll never forget a woman. I really got 290 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,320 Speaker 2: angry at her said, I'm married. I don't remember the 291 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,400 Speaker 2: exact number of years, but it's something like this. She's 292 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:43,040 Speaker 2: married forty years, and she loves her husband and they've 293 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:46,720 Speaker 2: had a very fine marriage. But she found out recently, 294 00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:49,160 Speaker 2: she found out, I don't know, a year or two ago, 295 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:53,760 Speaker 2: that he had an affair fifteen years earlier, a brief affair, 296 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:59,439 Speaker 2: and now she wants to divorce him. And I said, ma'am, listen, 297 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,640 Speaker 2: you called me. I didn't call you, so I feel 298 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,240 Speaker 2: free to say you're a fool. And I told her, 299 00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:09,840 Speaker 2: I think you are a fool. That's a particular example 300 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:13,399 Speaker 2: of foolishness because of the time factor forty years that 301 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:17,800 Speaker 2: you've put together. It's not it's only ego. I'm so 302 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,440 Speaker 2: hurt that he did it that my pride cannot allow 303 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,640 Speaker 2: me to live with him. It's pride, it's ego. It's 304 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,960 Speaker 2: not love, and so on, my god, that is it. 305 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,959 Speaker 2: You have built a family together, a life together, and 306 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:34,720 Speaker 2: because of that, that's it. Goodbye. I don't buy that. 307 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,679 Speaker 2: I don't buy that, by the way, in either direction 308 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:39,919 Speaker 2: if a woman does it. And if a woman does it, 309 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,400 Speaker 2: I particularly don't buy it, believe it or not, because 310 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,680 Speaker 2: with the woman it probably means there's some really serious 311 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:50,680 Speaker 2: things happening. Most women do not have affairs if things 312 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,440 Speaker 2: are going well at home. Men do have if things 313 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,080 Speaker 2: are going well at home, for the because they're roosters, 314 00:20:56,600 --> 00:21:02,399 Speaker 2: So that I understand, but that in particular, I know 315 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:04,800 Speaker 2: this is hard to do, but you have to ask, 316 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:09,040 Speaker 2: am I in any way a reason for what happened? 317 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,760 Speaker 2: I know it's almost impossible because you're so angry and 318 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,840 Speaker 2: you're so hurt, But if you want that's the question 319 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,120 Speaker 2: you have to ask. Do I want my marriage to succeed? 320 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:21,199 Speaker 2: Or do I want to get eat? Those are some 321 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 2: of the questions one has to ask. Of course, there 322 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,159 Speaker 2: are times when enough of this has to lead to divorce. 323 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:30,360 Speaker 2: Of course it's obvious, or especially if it's flaunted. I mean, 324 00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:32,280 Speaker 2: if a man would flaunt an affair or a woman 325 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,600 Speaker 2: and just publicly humiliate a spouse, then the issue isn't 326 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,720 Speaker 2: even an affair. The issue as you're married to a 327 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,680 Speaker 2: cruel person, and there I do believe one should check 328 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:46,720 Speaker 2: out and finally do what is important for the other 329 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:53,520 Speaker 2: because you don't have the same beliefs or feelings about 330 00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:58,439 Speaker 2: what is important. What is important to her may not 331 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:00,240 Speaker 2: be important to you. What's important to him may not 332 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:07,800 Speaker 2: be important to you. Another dummy guy called me up once, Dennis, 333 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:12,080 Speaker 2: I'm dating my girlfriend now and we love each other 334 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,760 Speaker 2: and so on. She insists that I give her a 335 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:21,000 Speaker 2: Valentine's card and gift. And I say, Valentine's Day that 336 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:25,040 Speaker 2: was invented by capitalists to make money selling cards and 337 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:28,520 Speaker 2: gifts on February fourteenth. And I'm not going to give 338 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:32,000 Speaker 2: into some capitalist rouse to make me spend my money. 339 00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:33,760 Speaker 2: And I said, you know, it's always good to hear 340 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:37,119 Speaker 2: from a dummy. I always. I really do it. Really 341 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,720 Speaker 2: it helps me because I never really know how dumb 342 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:43,359 Speaker 2: people can be until I get these calls. I said, 343 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,960 Speaker 2: let me ask you a question. He says, Yeah, do 344 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:50,400 Speaker 2: you think your birthday is important? Oh, birthdays are very important. 345 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,160 Speaker 2: Well what if your girlfriend things birthdays are not important 346 00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:55,600 Speaker 2: and she does nothing for you on your birthday? Then 347 00:22:55,600 --> 00:23:00,080 Speaker 2: I'd be hurt. Ah uh huh. So maybe what you 348 00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:03,080 Speaker 2: should ask is not is Valentine's Day important to me? 349 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 2: Mister anti capitalist? What you ask is Is it important 350 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:12,080 Speaker 2: to her? That's what matters, not is it important to you? 351 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:16,760 Speaker 2: And likewise she has to ask questions in marriage is 352 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:21,880 Speaker 2: that important to him? And that that has the deepest 353 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:26,440 Speaker 2: ramifications in all of marital life. Find out what's important 354 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,679 Speaker 2: to them. Does your wife want to hear from you 355 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:30,760 Speaker 2: in a phone call each day, then make the phone 356 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,439 Speaker 2: call each day. To most men, that is not an 357 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:36,640 Speaker 2: important phone call. To most wives, it is an important 358 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:41,160 Speaker 2: phone call. That's what matters. And for him it may 359 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,919 Speaker 2: be once again in the physical realm, he wants to 360 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:47,879 Speaker 2: have relations in your just loving and so on, but 361 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:51,320 Speaker 2: so on. To him, it's important whatever it might be. 362 00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:52,840 Speaker 2: I don't know what to him is or the her 363 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:57,280 Speaker 2: is in your case, but the question that almost guarantees 364 00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:01,640 Speaker 2: a good marriage. Just find out what's important to the other, 365 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:05,960 Speaker 2: because what's important to you is very different because you 366 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 2: are a male and she is a female, or you 367 00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,880 Speaker 2: are a female and he is a male. I don't 368 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:14,200 Speaker 2: do all these things perfectly by any means. I said 369 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:18,080 Speaker 2: that earlier, but I do know that if somebody tries 370 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:21,480 Speaker 2: these things, the chance of having a fulfilled and beautiful 371 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:25,919 Speaker 2: life with someone who isn't the soulmate just another beautiful, 372 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:29,040 Speaker 2: flawed human who has made a life with you are 373 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:30,200 Speaker 2: increased tremendously. 374 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 3: Thank you very very much, thank you, thank you very much, 375 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:45,200 Speaker 3: thank you, thank you again. 376 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:50,400 Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 377 00:24:55,880 --> 00:25:00,080 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. 378 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,680 Speaker 2: What is our time frame here? I think I went 379 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,879 Speaker 2: about five minutes over? Or why does the story a 380 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,840 Speaker 2: little time for questions? But we have some time questions 381 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:11,399 Speaker 2: and brief alternate speeches go right ahead. There's always a 382 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:14,680 Speaker 2: hesitation before the first and then it gets a little floodlike. 383 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:19,600 Speaker 2: So if anybody wants to begin, did you all hear 384 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:23,520 Speaker 2: her question that women will talk to women friends about 385 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,280 Speaker 2: their marriages, but guys won't talk to guy friends about it. 386 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,359 Speaker 2: And because I said that couples should have couples to 387 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,040 Speaker 2: talk about their marriages, there's a lot of truth to 388 00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:33,520 Speaker 2: what you say, and there's also a lot of danger 389 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:36,359 Speaker 2: because what happens when a wife talks When a woman 390 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:39,280 Speaker 2: talks to a woman about their marriages, they just commiserate 391 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:45,240 Speaker 2: with how bad it is. This is one area where 392 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,280 Speaker 2: maybe this is my feminine side, which is not the 393 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,800 Speaker 2: most developed of my sides, as my wife cauldvl you, 394 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,960 Speaker 2: but maybe it is. This is one and I'm happy 395 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 2: for it. I'm a happier man for it. I have always, always, 396 00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:00,199 Speaker 2: since high school, had male friends in my life that 397 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:03,440 Speaker 2: I talked about everything intimate with and it has been 398 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:06,639 Speaker 2: a salvation in my life to this day. And so 399 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,320 Speaker 2: I guys, it's a big mistake to just keep it 400 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:12,919 Speaker 2: to macro issues. You have to find a guy that 401 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:17,280 Speaker 2: you can actually say, how's your marriage? That is absolutely correct, 402 00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:20,720 Speaker 2: and it will help you because then you'll realize again 403 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:24,320 Speaker 2: the universality of certain problems. But this is an area 404 00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:27,399 Speaker 2: where where men are. I don't know exactly why, because 405 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,000 Speaker 2: I don't in this one area I don't identify, I 406 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,960 Speaker 2: guess with the bulk of males. But to have a 407 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,040 Speaker 2: man in your life or men in your life that 408 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:38,119 Speaker 2: you can talk real to. My son is in college 409 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,080 Speaker 2: and he was just telling me. He said, you know, Dad, 410 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:43,680 Speaker 2: it's amazing. I was just talking to a guy. Uh, 411 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:47,520 Speaker 2: And he's so lonely. He was a roommate who just left, 412 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:51,320 Speaker 2: actually left college. He was so lonely and he and 413 00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:53,720 Speaker 2: my son said to me, I had asked him, you know, 414 00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:56,520 Speaker 2: you always mentioned all these friends you have and then 415 00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,600 Speaker 2: the guy told my son, well, yeah, I have a 416 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:02,560 Speaker 2: lot of friends, but I don't talk anything personal to 417 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:04,919 Speaker 2: any of them. I don't understand what a friend is. 418 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,440 Speaker 2: If you can't talk personal, what is a friend? Then? 419 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:11,080 Speaker 2: One you one you play tennis with, you, watch movies with, you, 420 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:15,639 Speaker 2: talk sports to. That's fun, but it's not meaningful. People 421 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:21,360 Speaker 2: need this tremendously. I'm very glad you raised that point, right, 422 00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:23,679 Speaker 2: it's a very good question. How can I live with someone? 423 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:27,159 Speaker 2: He was surprised at my comment about don't automatically and 424 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:32,679 Speaker 2: remember I use the word automatically divorce after an affair. Listen. 425 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,639 Speaker 2: Part of loving, you're right, is trusting. Part of loving 426 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:40,200 Speaker 2: is also forgiving. And you know we have to forgive 427 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,480 Speaker 2: things that spouses do to us that are not just 428 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,960 Speaker 2: involved infidelity. Infidelity is one of a number of things 429 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:52,600 Speaker 2: that can hurt a spouse. It's always I'm always fascinated 430 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:55,879 Speaker 2: by how much weight we place on infidelity, as if 431 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:59,800 Speaker 2: it's it's so much a grander attack on a marriage 432 00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:03,000 Speaker 2: than some daily things that could happen. I mean, what 433 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:06,720 Speaker 2: if you're just daily put down. The person who puts 434 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:09,560 Speaker 2: you down, the man or the woman, has never been unfaithful. 435 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:12,320 Speaker 2: They just put you down every day. They just make 436 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,280 Speaker 2: you feel less worthy as a human. To me, that's 437 00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:19,480 Speaker 2: an infinitely worse sin than a one time raying for 438 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:24,080 Speaker 2: either spouse. So I know it's controversial given the way 439 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:27,480 Speaker 2: people think. That's where forgiveness comes in. Forgiveness is part 440 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:30,840 Speaker 2: of love too, not just trust, And that is where 441 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:33,000 Speaker 2: I do believe you have to ask why did you 442 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:36,040 Speaker 2: do it? Not just you. You're a piece of garbage, 443 00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:39,160 Speaker 2: but you're probably not a piece of garbage. Most of 444 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 2: you are not married to garbage. Most of you are 445 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:47,040 Speaker 2: married to damn decent people, and decent people sins. That's 446 00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:50,440 Speaker 2: what it's about. The of course, the indecent sin. But 447 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:54,280 Speaker 2: I don't think you married the indecent. And so there 448 00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:56,920 Speaker 2: are many arenas where we have to ask why did 449 00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:59,600 Speaker 2: you do this? What is going on here? And it 450 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,200 Speaker 2: may and the answers may may bring you closer. I 451 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,200 Speaker 2: know couples who've told me that they have worked these 452 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:08,640 Speaker 2: things out and their marriage is far better afterwards because 453 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:12,160 Speaker 2: finally this forced them to talk about things that they 454 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:15,400 Speaker 2: coasted along not doing. But obviously, as I said, if 455 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:18,480 Speaker 2: it's a serial act, then of course trust is shattered. 456 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:21,000 Speaker 2: I could agree more. But trust could be shattered in 457 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:24,280 Speaker 2: a lot of ways just by coming home and being insulted. 458 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,000 Speaker 2: Who knows who knows the ways to shatter trust? Their 459 00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:35,440 Speaker 2: infinite yes. The difference, the differences between a husband and wife, 460 00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:39,760 Speaker 2: between father and mother's raising of children is exactly why 461 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:43,400 Speaker 2: I am such a believer in the nuclear family. Because 462 00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:46,960 Speaker 2: my wife's contributions to the raising of our children are 463 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:51,320 Speaker 2: uniquely female and uniquely her. Mine are uniquely me and 464 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:54,840 Speaker 2: uniquely male, and you need both. You need one to 465 00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:58,920 Speaker 2: use generalized statements. Because you mentioned safety or whatever it was, 466 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:04,280 Speaker 2: of the children. Mothers tend to allow fewer dangers to 467 00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:08,160 Speaker 2: the child. Most dads are not screaming put on a jacket. Okay. 468 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:11,040 Speaker 2: The fact I never met a father who said put 469 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:14,680 Speaker 2: on a jacket in my life, okay, because none of 470 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:17,360 Speaker 2: us wore jackets when our mothers told us to wear jackets. 471 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:24,600 Speaker 2: But but you know, but the mom thinks that that. You know, 472 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:28,280 Speaker 2: even in la it's somewhat like the Arctic out there, 473 00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:33,680 Speaker 2: and one must one must bundle appropriately. You need one 474 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:37,320 Speaker 2: parent to love like that, and you need one parent 475 00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,239 Speaker 2: to say, like my father, I mean, this was one 476 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,200 Speaker 2: of the great lines In my house. My father would 477 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:43,400 Speaker 2: look at my mother and say, you know, you can't 478 00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:45,840 Speaker 2: keep him in a China closet, which, by the way, 479 00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:48,160 Speaker 2: is very funny. For much of my childhood, I never 480 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:50,560 Speaker 2: understood the phrase because I thought it was a closet 481 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:54,120 Speaker 2: made in China. I never I didn't realize what it meant. 482 00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:56,200 Speaker 2: I didn't know what the hell is a China closet. 483 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,239 Speaker 2: I understood what he meant, that you can't keep him 484 00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:01,360 Speaker 2: locked up, and now I am. You know, he's not 485 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,200 Speaker 2: a delicate dish. Let him do his thing, and that's 486 00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:06,280 Speaker 2: that's how dads feel, and they have to. You have to. 487 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:08,360 Speaker 2: That's why a child needs a mother and a father. 488 00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:13,080 Speaker 2: It's why I cry for this aspect. Twelve mothers can't 489 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,680 Speaker 2: do what one father can do. Twelve fathers can't do 490 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:18,239 Speaker 2: what one mother can do. It's just the way it is. 491 00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:22,680 Speaker 2: It's not anti anybody to say that. So, but here 492 00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,840 Speaker 2: is a thing. Women do have an instinct that they 493 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:28,760 Speaker 2: are infinitely more wise in the raising of children than 494 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:32,880 Speaker 2: we dudes. That's true that they do believe, and that 495 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,520 Speaker 2: is that that can be an issue. So let me 496 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:41,200 Speaker 2: say generally, I think the instinct of the mother is 497 00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:46,000 Speaker 2: a good one, but it isn't anywhere near infallible. And 498 00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,840 Speaker 2: in this manner, I think most women think they are 499 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:53,640 Speaker 2: compared to their husbands infallible. We know better what's good 500 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:57,760 Speaker 2: for the kids. That's not always true. You need the 501 00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 2: input of your husband as a father too. Sometimes one 502 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:04,080 Speaker 2: is right, sometimes the other. Look, let me just tell you, 503 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:09,160 Speaker 2: I don't think it's fully coincidental that' smother is mother 504 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:17,600 Speaker 2: with an s'm I can't true. It goes over well 505 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,800 Speaker 2: all the time. What's wrong with you people? It isn'ts 506 00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:25,160 Speaker 2: father right? Don't father him? Don't father him? Come on, votes, 507 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:30,120 Speaker 2: which parent is more likely to do that? Now? Now? Serious? 508 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:33,480 Speaker 2: You'd need? That is why listen? You need both. I'll 509 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:36,960 Speaker 2: go further. How much do I value the female role 510 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,440 Speaker 2: in raising children? And I know there are a lot 511 00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:45,680 Speaker 2: of tremendously successful and terrific women in business sitting sitting 512 00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:48,840 Speaker 2: right here, right now, being here, all things being equal, 513 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,080 Speaker 2: I think the ideal is to have a full time 514 00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:54,880 Speaker 2: mom for a child. Okay, The point is not to 515 00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:58,120 Speaker 2: put guilt on any working mother. It's ridiculous. I have 516 00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:01,640 Speaker 2: no desire to. But that's how much I value mothers 517 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:06,840 Speaker 2: that I think that they are truly incomparable. But men 518 00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:10,000 Speaker 2: have something to say about child rearing. And if we 519 00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,640 Speaker 2: worry less, it's good for you to know that we 520 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:16,600 Speaker 2: don't love our kid less than you do. We just 521 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:18,720 Speaker 2: don't think that if he doesn't have a jacket on, 522 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,880 Speaker 2: he's going to get pneumonia. We don't think that way. 523 00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:26,840 Speaker 2: He probably won't get pneumonia. And so there are areas 524 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,760 Speaker 2: where we will let him be a little wilder. Listen, 525 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:34,360 Speaker 2: here's an area where particularly, I think men's instincts are right. 526 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:38,200 Speaker 2: More right when your kid, how did our kid greet 527 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:43,080 Speaker 2: his friends at the door. He jumped on them. That's it. 528 00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:45,480 Speaker 2: That's how boys greet each other. They jump on one another, 529 00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:49,520 Speaker 2: They tackle each other. Now your wife thinks that al 530 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,400 Speaker 2: Capone is being raised in her house. I can't believe this. 531 00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:55,920 Speaker 2: I'm raising I'm raising a criminal. And you're saying, no, 532 00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:59,360 Speaker 2: boys like to jump on each other. Now, you have 533 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:05,040 Speaker 2: to distinguish between mean and bullying, jumping and just boy play. 534 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:07,880 Speaker 2: Guys are good at that because that's what we do. 535 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:10,360 Speaker 2: We boy play. We jumped on each other as kids. 536 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:13,239 Speaker 2: So here is where a man can help with the 537 00:34:13,319 --> 00:34:16,760 Speaker 2: woman and with daughters. There's a lot obviously that a 538 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,640 Speaker 2: woman can explain to the man that he may pay about. 539 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,880 Speaker 2: We need each other. That's the lesson of my talk. 540 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:28,200 Speaker 2: We need each other tremendously. I'll end with this. We 541 00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:31,279 Speaker 2: are building in America, and because I tell you I 542 00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:34,880 Speaker 2: speak to single so often, we are building an America 543 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:39,120 Speaker 2: a generation that believes that to depend on another human 544 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:43,719 Speaker 2: being is a compromise of one's greatness, of one's uniqueness. 545 00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:49,520 Speaker 2: A woman once called me a single woman, and she said, Dennis, 546 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:51,440 Speaker 2: you keep pushing marriage, but I don't want to tell 547 00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:54,000 Speaker 2: you something. I am an independent woman and I don't 548 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,560 Speaker 2: want to depend on anybody. And I said, I want 549 00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,040 Speaker 2: to tell you something. I am a very strong man, 550 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:03,120 Speaker 2: and I really do depend on my wife. And thank God, 551 00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:05,840 Speaker 2: I depend on my wife. And it is no victory 552 00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:09,520 Speaker 2: for you to go through life depending on no one. 553 00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:12,799 Speaker 2: That's the beauty of this. Of course, we depend on 554 00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:15,480 Speaker 2: each other. It's a tough world out there, and to 555 00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,200 Speaker 2: have a haven in a heartless world is what a 556 00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:18,920 Speaker 2: marriage can do. 557 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:27,520 Speaker 1: Thanks again, this has been timeless wisdom with Dennis Prager. 558 00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:31,560 Speaker 1: Visit Dennisprager dot com for thousands of hours of Dennis's 559 00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:35,560 Speaker 1: lectures courses in classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis 560 00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,320 Speaker 1: Prager's Rational Bibles