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Speaker 1: Life Audio.

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Speaker 2: Hi friend, welcome to Breathe the Stressless Podcast. I'm Bonnie Gray,

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Speaker 2: your guide for this time, designed just for you to

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Speaker 2: rest and relax. To breathe in a loving word of

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Speaker 2: affirmation from God from His word, and pick up a

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Speaker 2: practical soul care tip based on science to help you

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Speaker 2: restore calm to your emotions and your body. Let me

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Speaker 2: ask you a question, friend, are you the one that

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Speaker 2: others rely on? I'll call us the responsible ones, the

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Speaker 2: capable one, the one who holds things together? Is that

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Speaker 2: you. You don't drop the ball. You think ahead and you

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Speaker 2: take care of what needs to be done. If you're

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Speaker 2: saying yes and nothing in your head, you may be

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Speaker 2: like me, overly responsible. There isn't often much room left

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Speaker 2: for you. Joy gets postponed, rest feels impractical, and peace

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Speaker 2: sometimes is just something you always hope to get to later. Well,

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Speaker 2: you're not alone. I have a very special episode for

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Speaker 2: you today. I'm sharing a very personal story about a

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Speaker 2: choice I'm making this year. Okay, I'm going to share

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Speaker 2: personal story because it's one that's going to help me

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Speaker 2: rediscover piece and joy in a new way. And it's

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Speaker 2: not through doing more, and it's about creating more space

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Speaker 2: to simply be you, the you who God created to be.

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Speaker 2: In this episode, we're gonna talk about why people who

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Speaker 2: are naturally responsible often forget that they need rest too. Second,

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Speaker 2: we're gonna talk about what science says about why constant

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Speaker 2: responsibility wears down joy. And third, we're gonna look at

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Speaker 2: a gentle soul care practice that I'm calling a mini

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Speaker 2: soul sabbatical. It's a simple way for you to enjoy

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Speaker 2: something life giving, and I'm not gonna give it away yet.

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Speaker 2: We're going to talk about it on our show today.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna look at what God has to say to us,

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Speaker 2: Jesus specifically. So if you've been longing to feel lighter,

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Speaker 2: more of yourself again, finding your spark of joy, this

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Speaker 2: episode is for you, and it's for me, it's for

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Speaker 2: all of us. Well. If you have been feeling like

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Speaker 2: this is the year're gonna have a fresh start, this

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Speaker 2: is the year where you're going to take care of

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Speaker 2: your wellness, I just want to say congratulations. That's the

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Speaker 2: first step is just knowing that you want change, You

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Speaker 2: want to walk in wellness with Jesus. And I've created

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Speaker 2: several soul care courses. The most beloved. They're all wonderful,

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Speaker 2: but these, for some reason, are the most popular, and

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Speaker 2: I've made them now available in a self haste format

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Speaker 2: for you in soul Care School. So here are four courses,

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Speaker 2: and I'm curious which one seems to draw your attention

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Speaker 2: the most. Breathe rest with Jesus, Breathe Joy with Jesus,

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Speaker 2: praying the Psalms for wellness, and my lent Wellness Study Well.

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Speaker 2: I want you to explore which journey is calling your

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Speaker 2: name the most, Which one do you feel your heart,

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Speaker 2: your emotions, your body longs for the most. And I

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Speaker 2: want you to head over to the show notes because

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Speaker 2: I have four different links for you to sign up

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Speaker 2: for these soul care journeys. Thousands of women have experienced

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Speaker 2: life giving restoration of peace and joy. You want to

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Speaker 2: find your spark of joy again. I want to invite

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Speaker 2: you to take one of these courses, and the link

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Speaker 2: to join is going to be in the show notes. Okay,

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Speaker 2: So I want to invite you because if you've taken

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Speaker 2: the soulcare quiz at solcare quiz dot com, you already

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Speaker 2: now know which area of wellness you need the most.

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Speaker 2: I want to help you just get a fresh start.

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Speaker 2: You're going to learn science and soul care and scripture

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Speaker 2: behind ways to breathe, rest with Jesus, breathe joy with Jesus,

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Speaker 2: praying the psalms for wellness, and the Lent Wellness Study.

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Speaker 2: I know it's actually coming up in about three weeks.

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Speaker 2: I can't believe it. Lent is starting. It's such a beautiful,

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Speaker 2: sacred journey. So hop on over to the show notes

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Speaker 2: and you'll find the links, and I want you to

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Speaker 2: just learn more. Just take a look at those course topics,

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Speaker 2: because sometimes it's so easy to just ignore what our emotions,

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Speaker 2: our body, our spirit really needs, because you know, we

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Speaker 2: tend to be very responsible and take care of other things,

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Speaker 2: but we forget about ourselves. But not here in this community,

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Speaker 2: our brief community, not with Jesus. So head on over

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Speaker 2: to the show notes and we'll be right back. So

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Speaker 2: our breath prayer today comes from a scripture. It's like

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Speaker 2: one of my favorite passages in the Gospels. Let's just

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Speaker 2: pause and breathe in. That's living word of affirmation and

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Speaker 2: just to hear quite our hearts and hear Jesus whispering

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Speaker 2: these words. It comes to us from Matthew, Chapter four,

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Speaker 2: verses nineteen to twenty. Jesus said, follow me, and I

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Speaker 2: will make you fishures of men. Immediately they left their

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Speaker 2: nets and followed him. What a beautiful invitation wants you

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Speaker 2: to inhale, I lay down my nets, exhale. I follow

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Speaker 2: you in peace, and just slowly breathe in Jesus's invitation.

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Speaker 2: In heale, follow me, exhale.

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Speaker 1: They left their nets.

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Speaker 2: Those are just some key phrases to place on your

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Speaker 2: heart as Jesus whispers to you to follow him and

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Speaker 2: to lay down those nets you've been holding on to. Well.

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Speaker 2: I had said at the very beginning, I have something

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Speaker 2: very personal to share with you. I have been writing

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Speaker 2: and sharing my faith online since two thousand and nine. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's sixteen years. And over the years God has blessed

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Speaker 2: me with many beautiful things that He's allowed me to

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Speaker 2: walk alongside you. I've published four best selling books. I

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Speaker 2: have a wellness podcast That's when You're here with me

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Speaker 2: on and I launched Soul Care School and leading a

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Speaker 2: communicative women Thousands of women have been walking with Jesus

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Speaker 2: through these courses to flourish in wellness. Now. As this

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Speaker 2: year began as you've been following on this Breathe episodes.

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Speaker 2: As we close the year, I've shared invited you to

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Speaker 2: think of one word God's putting on your heart. And

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Speaker 2: as the year began, I says, God was giving me

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Speaker 2: one clear word. Peace. Now the Hebrew root word for

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Speaker 2: peace is shalom, and it means wholeness, weaving, restoration. It's

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Speaker 2: kind of like think of when you're knitting. I don't knit,

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Speaker 2: but I do love sweaters, and you could just see

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Speaker 2: how everything is knit and woven together, bringing restoration. And

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Speaker 2: as I listened quietly and closely, I realized something tender

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Speaker 2: and true. You know, when I turned fifty, it's a

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Speaker 2: milestone that the scripture calls the year of Jubilee, and

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Speaker 2: I never took a sabbath season. The year of Jubilee

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Speaker 2: is when God's people are called to just stop working

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Speaker 2: and let the fields lay follow and a year of

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Speaker 2: rest and celebration. And during the year I turned fifty

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Speaker 2: and had that idea, we were in a pandemic and

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Speaker 2: so life just simply kept moving. It was not a

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Speaker 2: year of Jewelle of or all of us during that

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Speaker 2: year with the pandemic, but Jesus's invitation for a time

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Speaker 2: of sabbath and rest, and sabbatical never left my heart.

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Speaker 2: Now I have the oldest son, Josh, he's now in college,

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Speaker 2: he's a sophomore. And my younger son, Caleb, he's going

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Speaker 2: to graduate from high school next year. And so I

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Speaker 2: just felt there's a major change and transition coming up

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Speaker 2: in my life. And I felt God was inviting me

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Speaker 2: to make some space, make space without schedules, deadlines, obligations,

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Speaker 2: so I could just listen and rest and renew my emotions,

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Speaker 2: my body, and just make space to listen to what

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Speaker 2: Jesus may be calling me into next. But of course

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Speaker 2: I hesitated because I have a wonderful community in my

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Speaker 2: soul Care school. I have wonderful readers throughout my four

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Speaker 2: books throughout the decades, a community of newsletter readers where

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Speaker 2: I shared devotional and my work is so meaningful and beautiful.

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Speaker 2: But stopping just felt irresponsible. That's just how it felt

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Speaker 2: to me. It just felt irresponsible. Now one morning, you know,

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Speaker 2: our family, as you've been following on, we take time

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Speaker 2: at the end of the year to just spend time

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Speaker 2: out in the woods, unplugged, get out of dodge, to

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Speaker 2: listen for our one word that God's putting on our heart.

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Speaker 2: And my younger son, Caleb knew that I, well, my

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Speaker 2: whole family knew I've been thinking about taking a sabbatical.

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Speaker 2: So one morning Caleb looked at me and he said, Mom,

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Speaker 2: what's really holding you back? And I told Caleb, I

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Speaker 2: don't think I can just stop. I mean, I've nurtured

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Speaker 2: something and built something, a community. People are I want

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Speaker 2: to serve people. I don't want to stop there. There's

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Speaker 2: so much beautiful ministry to be done. How can I

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Speaker 2: just step away? And Caleb said something that.

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Speaker 1: Just just.

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Speaker 2: Touched my heart so deeply, I'll never forget it. Calo said, Mom,

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Speaker 2: but Mom, you've already stored treasures in heaven. And he said,

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Speaker 2: remember you know your favorite passage, Mom, when Jesus calls

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Speaker 2: the disciples. Jesus called them to leave the boatloads of fish,

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Speaker 2: and Jesus said, lay down your nets and follow me.

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Speaker 2: Isn't that what you always tell us? That? There are

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Speaker 2: times in life where I think God is calling you

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Speaker 2: to lay down your nets. Mom. The fish is good,

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Speaker 2: You've got lots of fish that Jesus is throughout the

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Speaker 2: years having you serve. But maybe Jesus is calling you

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Speaker 2: to lay down your nets and go follow him into

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Speaker 2: something new. Oh my goodness, in that moment, I truly

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Speaker 2: felt Jesus speaking to me my heart through my son

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Speaker 2: and lovingly saying, you don't have to stay with what

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Speaker 2: you already need. Oh, I want you to come follow

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Speaker 2: me into something new. So, friends, I yes, after prayer

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Speaker 2: and lots of reflection, I'm stepping into a sabbatical year.

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Speaker 2: And it's not about stopping or ending. It's actually a

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Speaker 2: radical step of faith. You know a little bit about myself,

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Speaker 2: my story. You know, my parents divorced when I was seven,

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Speaker 2: and I learned early on how to be the responsible one.

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Speaker 2: I'm the oldest in my family, and so I learned

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Speaker 2: how to take care of others. And that's what it

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Speaker 2: meant for me to have peace or joy when I

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Speaker 2: feel other people that I love are taken care of.

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Speaker 2: But I didn't realize until later in life. Actually, that's

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Speaker 2: quite a heavy burden to carry quietly, isn't it. Are

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Speaker 2: you resonating in your own story. Maybe it's not in

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Speaker 2: your childhood, Maybe it's once she became a mom, maybe

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Speaker 2: once she started working. Maybe later when you went to college,

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Speaker 2: or maybe when I don't know what season it is

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Speaker 2: that you picked up the message that it's more important

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Speaker 2: to be responsible than to be aware of your own

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Speaker 2: emotional needs for peace and joy. Well. Being dependable is

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Speaker 2: how I chose to stay safe. Peace came from making

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Speaker 2: sure everyone was okay, and as I listened to Jesus closely.

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Speaker 2: This few weeks, and actually it's been some months, this

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Speaker 2: whole idea of sabbatical, I just felt curious. I started wondering,

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Speaker 2: what would it feel like to give myself space that

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Speaker 2: I never had as a little girl. What might peace

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Speaker 2: look like, what my joy look like if I wasn't

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Speaker 2: living from responsibility but from rest. The sabbatical feels like

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Speaker 2: stepping into a new garden that God wants me to

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Speaker 2: nurture in his totally brand new, new soil, new garden.

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Speaker 2: And I've never stepped into this one before, and so, friend,

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Speaker 2: I just want to ask you, are you curious what

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Speaker 2: peace and joy might feel like if you let yourself

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Speaker 2: rest instead of holding responsibility? And I'm talking about overly

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Speaker 2: over responsibility. I'm talking about when you carry responsibility too

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Speaker 2: long past your ability to feel God's peace and joy

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Speaker 2: and too much of it for too long without holding

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Speaker 2: everything together. What would that feel like for you? Well,

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Speaker 2: maybe Jesus isn't asking you to try harder. Maybe Jesus

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Speaker 2: is inviting you to lay down your nets because it's

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Speaker 2: time to experience him in a new way. Following Jesus

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Speaker 2: doesn't always mean doing more. Sometimes it means creating more

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Speaker 2: space and doing less. What might Jesus be inviting you

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Speaker 2: to lay down, not for wherever, maybe even temporarily pause

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Speaker 2: for a season, so that you can follow him into

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Speaker 2: new peace and new joy in a new way. Well, friend,

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Speaker 2: let me leave that wonderful question. It's a soul care

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Speaker 2: prompt for your soul, like a seed planting on your heart,

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Speaker 2: the soil of your heart, and we'll be right back. Well,

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Speaker 2: here's a science. Here's something important to know about neuroscience

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Speaker 2: about being overly responsible. When we live under ongoing responsibility

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Speaker 2: and pressure, our body stays stressed, even during good moments.

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Speaker 2: So it doesn't have to mean something bad is happening. It's,

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Speaker 2: you know, good things that we're holding up. But when

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Speaker 2: it's under too long, that pressure becomes chronic stress. So

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Speaker 2: research on chronic stress shows that prolonged responsibility keeps the

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Speaker 2: brains alert system activated. So that's called the stress response.

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Speaker 2: And one aspect is the alert system that's being hyper vigilant.

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Speaker 2: You know, when you start like thinking of problems to solve,

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Speaker 2: things to do open ends, this, that, and it's hard

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Speaker 2: to stop because you feel it's not safe. Because for

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Speaker 2: some of us, being overly responsible is our way of

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Speaker 2: making sure we can have peace. But it's really not peace.

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Speaker 2: It's really us working harder and we put rest off.

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Speaker 2: And that's why slowing down can feel unfamiliar and even wrong.

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Speaker 2: That's why overly responsible people struggle with rest. It's not

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Speaker 2: because rest is wrong, but it's because we've our nervous

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Speaker 2: system has learned long ago that we need to stay

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Speaker 2: vigilant in order to be safe, whether that means safe,

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Speaker 2: emotionally safe, physically safe, relationally. Somewhere along the way we

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Speaker 2: have picked this up. And so peace doesn't return through willpower.

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Speaker 2: You're saying, Okay, well, Boddy, well, how do I you know,

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Speaker 2: turn on the rest response? How do I allow my

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Speaker 2: system to know, hey, we're safe here? Well, it doesn't

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Speaker 2: come through thinking our way out of stress. Okay, trying

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Speaker 2: to just think, think, think that just becomes more stress.

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Speaker 2: It keeps a stress response on What we need to

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Speaker 2: do is to have experiential safety, so experiential peace, experiential joy.

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Speaker 2: What that means is simple. Way is we need to

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Speaker 2: put feet to faith. We need to actually have experiences

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Speaker 2: and create that space. Do those things. Okay, So this

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Speaker 2: moves us into our weekly sole care challenge. This week,

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Speaker 2: I want you to take a mini soul care sabbatical. Okay,

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Speaker 2: I'm taking a year sabbatical, but I want you to

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Speaker 2: take a mini soul care sabbatical. Okay. So there's just

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Speaker 2: two steps to this, Okay. The first step is to

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Speaker 2: lay down the net. So think of Jesus. Think of

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Speaker 2: that scripture where Jesus says, lay down your nets and

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Speaker 2: come follow me. Okay, first, just lay down the net.

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Speaker 2: So first, name the net. What responsibility do you feel

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Speaker 2: is gripping you so tightly that you feel like it's

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Speaker 2: not safe to set it down even briefly or temporarily,

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Speaker 2: or just even say you want to put it down?

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Speaker 2: I want you to just notice, So just name it.

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Speaker 2: Because science shows that when we name what stresses us

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Speaker 2: or feels heavy, your brain actually releases stress when you

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Speaker 2: just name the stress. Yes, so that's first thing. Okay,

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Speaker 2: what's your net. What is that for you? I want

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Speaker 2: you to name it that you feel like, Oh my gosh, Bonnie,

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Speaker 2: I can't let it down. Okay, so just notice it.

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Speaker 2: That's the first thing. Okay. Second, I want you to

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Speaker 2: choose one joy with no outcome. What does that mean?

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Speaker 2: It means choose one small experience this week that's not productive,

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Speaker 2: doesn't help anyone, doesn't lead to a result. Okay, it's

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Speaker 2: just for you, and I'm going to give you some examples. Okay,

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Speaker 2: there's two types of joy that I want you to

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Speaker 2: think which experience you're going to have. So one is

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Speaker 2: one type of joys when you experience joy with someone.

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Speaker 2: So you can take a slow walk with no destination,

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Speaker 2: just take a stroll and just spend some time with somebody. Okay. Second,

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Speaker 2: if you live where it's really cold, you can't go outside,

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Speaker 2: then just make some time to sit and be leisurely

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Speaker 2: with someone to talk about something, something, a memory, a story,

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Speaker 2: something beautiful. You can go out for a get a

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Speaker 2: cup of coffee, go get a pastry or this week,

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Speaker 2: just even schedule that time. Or it could be somebody

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Speaker 2: even in your family. Many times we live at home

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Speaker 2: with our family members, but we get so busy, we

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Speaker 2: just talk about what we're doing. But maybe pick up

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Speaker 2: a special pastry from home one day. I love doing

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Speaker 2: that surprising my kids. I say, hey, look, you starwberry pastry.

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Speaker 2: Come come, let's have it. Or maybe you're into donuts,

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Speaker 2: you can get a donut, but you know, choose what

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Speaker 2: you love. Another idea is just watch something that makes

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Speaker 2: you laugh. Sometimes we're so busy we just forget that

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Speaker 2: we love to laugh. What's a fun show you like

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Speaker 2: to watch, or a movie you've been meaning to watch

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Speaker 2: that's fun, you can watch it, Okay. The second type

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Speaker 2: of joy is joy where you experience solo by yourself. Okay,

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Speaker 2: So here's some ideas. Just get you started. Go to

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Speaker 2: the library, grab a novel or a book of poetry,

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Speaker 2: or you know something you would really enjoy that would

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Speaker 2: just make you smile. Okay. Second, you can just sit

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Speaker 2: outside and just notice how peaceful it is. I always

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Speaker 2: love maybe grabbing a sandwich that I like at a deli,

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Speaker 2: and then just even when it's chilly, I like to

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Speaker 2: drive over to where there's beautiful trees, get a really

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Speaker 2: nice puffy, warm jacket, sit outside and just enjoy that

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Speaker 2: sandwich or listen to music and let your body move.

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Speaker 2: I talked about that last time. There's a particular worship

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Speaker 2: song that I love. I'm loving it's called every Blessing

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Speaker 2: by Brian Courtney Wilson, and I just love starring the

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Speaker 2: day that way. Or use your hands to make something

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Speaker 2: that you won't share, Okay, you're not going to share it,

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Speaker 2: not for the purpose of sharing it. I just picked

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Speaker 2: up a book. It's the Month of Hobbies, and I

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Speaker 2: forgot it's like National Month of Hobbies. And there were

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Speaker 2: some books at the library and I got one that's

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Speaker 2: on sketching, which I never do. But I'm going to

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Speaker 2: try it just for fun, and I'm not going to

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Speaker 2: share any pictures of it. It's just for myself. Okay.

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Speaker 2: So those are your ideas. Just for step two, choose

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Speaker 2: one joy with no outcome. Third, it's more of I

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Speaker 2: just want you to just notice, like, how do you

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Speaker 2: feel when you're about to do something that's joyful but

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Speaker 2: just for you. Does it make you feel uneasy or

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Speaker 2: does it make you feel excited, energized, relieved? You know,

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Speaker 2: how are you feeling? Again? When you are able to

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Speaker 2: notice how you're feeling and put words to it, it

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Speaker 2: will start relieving stress, your nervous system starts to lower

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Speaker 2: your blood pressure, your heart rate rests in a RESTful rate,

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Speaker 2: and your body turns on the rest response. I just

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Speaker 2: want you to practice joy this week, and as you do,

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Speaker 2: you can just whisper to yourself. I'm allowed to rest.

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Speaker 2: I don't have to earn my peace. We're just with

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Speaker 2: Jesus at the shore, letting our nets go, letting our

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Speaker 2: nets down, and following Jesus. It's in the moment, day

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Speaker 2: by day, and there's a moment in your day. I

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Speaker 2: want you to leave your nets, whatever you're working on,

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Speaker 2: and just go do something that gives you peace or

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Speaker 2: give you joy. What a wonderful time to pray. Lord Jesus,

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Speaker 2: you see us, you see me, You see what I've

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Speaker 2: been carrying. I'm letting myself rest in your presence. I

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Speaker 2: lay down my nets and make space for you. Lead

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Speaker 2: me with your peace, lead me with your words. Amen

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Speaker 2: and friend, if your heart is longing for more ideas

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Speaker 2: on deeper joy, more peace, more renewal, I know that

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Speaker 2: you know on need to heal from anxiety and stress.

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Speaker 2: I needed those ideas because I didn't have them as

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Speaker 2: part of my growing up experience. So I want to

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Speaker 2: invite you to take one of my courses because I

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Speaker 2: lead you step by step to understand the word scripture,

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Speaker 2: guides us to have peace, joy and renewal, and give

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Speaker 2: you some step by step ideas. And you also hear

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Speaker 2: from other women that have taken the course you and

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Speaker 2: you'll see their journey as well and hear about it.

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Speaker 2: Just go look at my links on the show notes,

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Speaker 2: and I want you to take one of these courses.

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Speaker 2: They're just really practical and I guide you step by step.

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Speaker 2: Remember that you're loved, and if you've been encouraged, you know,

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Speaker 2: share this episode with a friend and encourage each other,

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Speaker 2: share your ideas with each other. And it's so much

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Speaker 2: better when we have friends along the journey, makes us

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Speaker 2: so much, makes the world a more beautiful place. And

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Speaker 2: so I'm thankful for you. Thank you for being with

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Speaker 2: me on this journey. Remember that you're loved and you're cherished.

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Speaker 2: Just rest and I'll see you next time.

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Speaker 1: Breathe.

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Speaker 2: The stress Less Podcast is a production of Life Audio

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Speaker 2: and Salem Media. If you like what you heard today,

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Speaker 2: please take a second to rate and review this podcast

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Speaker 2: in your favorite podcast app so that more listeners like

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Speaker 2: you can find the show. For more faith filled, inspirational podcasts,

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Speaker 2: visit us at lifeaudio dot com.