1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,960 Speaker 1: Hi, friend, Just a quick heads up. We are talking 2 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:05,520 Speaker 1: about gender today, So if you have your littles with 3 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:07,880 Speaker 1: you and you'd rather not talk about that right now, 4 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:14,560 Speaker 1: please listen to this important episode another time access more. 5 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Happy Home. I'm our Lean Pelicane. Our 6 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:24,560 Speaker 1: kids and teens are hearing loud messages about gender that 7 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:27,440 Speaker 1: there are more than males and females, and it can 8 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 1: be terribly confusing. Trusted voice doctor Kathy Cook is here 9 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:35,720 Speaker 1: to help us raise kids who are confident in their gender, 10 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:39,240 Speaker 1: knowing we are all wonderfully created by. 11 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 2: God, strengthening you and your family. Welcome to the Happy 12 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,920 Speaker 2: Home Podcast with your host, our Lean Pelicane. 13 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 1: We are living in a culture where wrong is called 14 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 1: right and right is called wrong. And every week I 15 00:00:57,080 --> 00:01:01,120 Speaker 1: have a weekly newsletter that shares highlight from the podcast 16 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: and also things from the news of what we were 17 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:06,200 Speaker 1: learning in the tech world, and I'd love for you 18 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:09,119 Speaker 1: to subscribe. It's absolutely free. Just go to Happy Home 19 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 1: University dot com slash subscribe and that will be in 20 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:15,480 Speaker 1: the show notes as well. And if you need some 21 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:19,120 Speaker 1: help with this technology piece, remember my book Screen Kids, 22 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 1: co authored with doctor Gary Chapman. You can read it. 23 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,759 Speaker 1: You can listen to it on Audible, or you can 24 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,640 Speaker 1: watch the video course about it. Buy the book and 25 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 1: audible wherever you get your books, and then the screen 26 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 1: Kids video course is available at Happy Home University dot com. 27 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 1: Well today's guest, my dear friend, Doctor Kathy Cook, is 28 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:43,440 Speaker 1: the founder and CEO of Celebrate Kids, Inc. And a 29 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 1: respected voice on child development and biblical parenting. She's a 30 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 1: sought after speaker, she's a favorite. When my kids attended 31 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,680 Speaker 1: some ministries in Colorado over the summer, she was one 32 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 1: of their favorites. And that's true for many of the students. 33 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:01,400 Speaker 1: Doctor Kathy has been on this point many times talking 34 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 1: about her books Parent Differently and Resilient Kids. And today 35 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 1: we're talking about her new book, co authored with doctor 36 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: Jeff Myers. He's the president of Summit Ministries, and this 37 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:16,359 Speaker 1: book is called Raising Gender Confident Kids, Helping kids Embrace 38 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:24,280 Speaker 1: their God given design. Doctor Cathy, I love having you 39 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,160 Speaker 1: on the Happy Home podcast. And maybe I don't know, 40 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:30,160 Speaker 1: ten twenty years ago, we would never be talking about like, hey, 41 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:34,640 Speaker 1: let's talk about gender. Why are we talking about gender? 42 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 2: So? Why are we. 43 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,240 Speaker 1: Talking about gender? Just catch us up in the culture. 44 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,280 Speaker 1: Why are we even talking about this, Why have you 45 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 1: written a book about it? 46 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:45,000 Speaker 2: That's a great way to start. 47 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,639 Speaker 3: I just told a bunch of people today that back 48 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,960 Speaker 3: when I was young, even people who didn't go to 49 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 3: church knew that boys were boys and girls were girls. 50 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 3: So we're just in such a chaotic time, aren't we. 51 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,440 Speaker 3: People don't know the truth. People often don't want to 52 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:01,160 Speaker 3: hear the truth. People think our striving to be happy, 53 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 3: And I love your use of the word happy. The 54 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:07,120 Speaker 3: way that you honor happiness is so profoundly beautiful. But 55 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:09,080 Speaker 3: in our culture at large, it's like I can be 56 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,160 Speaker 3: whatever I want and do whatever I want, and I 57 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 3: have a right to be my own authority. So therefore 58 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 3: I'm going to choose to go this route. So I 59 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:19,960 Speaker 3: think an over emphasis and happiness, Arlene, we haven't done 60 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 3: a good job of helping young people be comfortable being uncomfortable. 61 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:25,359 Speaker 2: I think that's been. 62 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 3: Huge, right, Like every person listening to us had at 63 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,360 Speaker 3: least one season in their life when they were uncomfortable, 64 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 3: and maybe more than one season where like they were 65 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 3: too tall, or they were too short, or their parents 66 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 3: had just divorced and they didn't like their life. But 67 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:41,560 Speaker 3: now we have kids who are uncomfortable and they're trying 68 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:44,080 Speaker 3: to change their gender rather than trying to change an 69 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:47,920 Speaker 3: attitude towards their situation. So I think that shows you 70 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,480 Speaker 3: a weakness and what's going on. And there's more I 71 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 3: could say, but just generally chaotic belief systems. 72 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:54,680 Speaker 2: It's messy out. 73 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 1: There, my goodness, and it is. It's kind of the 74 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,760 Speaker 1: ultimate slap in the face to reality that hey, we 75 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:04,600 Speaker 1: can make our own reality. I can, you know, think 76 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:08,520 Speaker 1: something that's totally foreign, Like I can't think I'm an elephant, 77 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 1: I can't think I'm a you know, I just can't 78 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:14,200 Speaker 1: think those things, and yet we are. Our kids are 79 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 1: being bombarded right on social media with celebrities at school, 80 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 1: with teachers that are saying, no, really, you can if 81 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,560 Speaker 1: you want to, right, So talk of let's go with 82 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 1: social media first. What have you seen? What do parents 83 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 1: need to know about what social media is teaching kids 84 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:32,719 Speaker 1: about gender? 85 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:36,320 Speaker 3: Well, that's thanks for starting there. I don't know if 86 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:40,320 Speaker 3: your listeners have heard of rapid onset gender dysphoria where 87 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,280 Speaker 3: girls would just they were fine being girls, and then 88 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 3: all of a sudden, like overnight, instantly, they would come 89 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 3: home from school or come out of a bedroom and 90 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 3: declare to a parent, hey, I'm in the wrong body. 91 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:53,839 Speaker 3: I need to become a boy. And the research on 92 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:56,719 Speaker 3: that was studying that the girls who had that rapid 93 00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 3: change were girls who had spent way too much time 94 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 3: I'm scrolling social media interacting with unhealthy people way more 95 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,560 Speaker 3: time than girls who did not make that decision. So 96 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,760 Speaker 3: the influence of social media, Arleen, the people they're following 97 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,440 Speaker 3: that we don't even know they're following, the music they're 98 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:15,719 Speaker 3: listening to, and even the show clips and the reels 99 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 3: they're watching. They can be thirty seconds of total trash, 100 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:22,240 Speaker 3: but it sounds so appealing the liars loud. He's tickling 101 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 3: their ears. So social media watched often in isolation, right 102 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,840 Speaker 3: they're in their bedrooms, they're watching without mom looking over 103 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 3: their shoulder. So they're interpreting these messages in their cultural moment, 104 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:36,240 Speaker 3: and they're not interpreting in them through the grid of 105 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:40,920 Speaker 3: God's words. Certainly, so social media has caused a rapid change. 106 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,720 Speaker 3: And I would I would say any listener that if 107 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 3: your especially if your daughters have all of a sudden, 108 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 3: your granddaughters have all of a sudden declared I need 109 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,320 Speaker 3: to be or I want to be or I am 110 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:51,280 Speaker 3: a boy. Then you need to pick up their phone 111 00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 3: and look at their accounts and look to see who 112 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,719 Speaker 3: they're following, because that's huge. I would also say, Arlene 113 00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 3: that social media in general, the phone in general, You 114 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:02,120 Speaker 3: and I know this. They're not with their parents. They're 115 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,719 Speaker 3: not with their parents. So if they're on social media, 116 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 3: they're not with the people who ought to be their 117 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:11,640 Speaker 3: greatest authority, who should be loving them into their created 118 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:14,480 Speaker 3: existence by God Almighty. And so that's the other way. 119 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:17,039 Speaker 3: I mean, it's bad that they're on social and it's 120 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,360 Speaker 3: bad that they're not with parents because they're on social 121 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:20,560 Speaker 3: If that makes sense. 122 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 1: It totally makes sense. In the book you talk about 123 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:28,000 Speaker 1: young adults ages eighteen to twenty nine are one thousand, 124 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 1: six hundred times more likely than adults over fifty. That's 125 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:35,159 Speaker 1: a huge jumb right, sixteen hundred times more likely than 126 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:39,480 Speaker 1: adults over fifty to say their gender is different from 127 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:43,479 Speaker 1: what they were quote assigned at birth. So this statistic 128 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,680 Speaker 1: shows us, Okay, what happened. Well, kids are on social media, 129 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 1: they're getting these ideas. Let's go to this word assigned 130 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:54,120 Speaker 1: at birth? Right, why is this a problematic word? When 131 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,359 Speaker 1: they say well this was because they'll sit in school 132 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,720 Speaker 1: and their teacher will say, well, this was the you 133 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,520 Speaker 1: know gender you were assigned at birth. But you know, 134 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 1: help us with this language to be able to kind 135 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:07,279 Speaker 1: of shed light on this to our kids. 136 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, we addressed that in the book. 137 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,240 Speaker 3: The ridiculousness of the language is one of the reasons 138 00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 3: that we're lost and we're confused. And I love the 139 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 3: way that you said it with your tone of voice. 140 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:18,119 Speaker 3: You're not assigned gender at birth. In fact, doctor Jeff 141 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:19,720 Speaker 3: Meyer is the co author, and I would say that 142 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 3: you don't have to become gender. 143 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 2: You are a gender. 144 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 3: When God chooses to make you you in his image 145 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,600 Speaker 3: for such a time as this, he includes in that 146 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:33,080 Speaker 3: his design for your entire life, which is male or female, 147 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,840 Speaker 3: And rightly he gets to decide that because he's the 148 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 3: creator with the capital C. 149 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,040 Speaker 2: No, we're not. It's not assigned at birth. 150 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 3: I like to say that when there's a gender reveal party, 151 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 3: there'll only be two genders. You're going to get pinker 152 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 3: blue and you don't. You don't get to change it, 153 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 3: and the creator assigns it. The Creator decides it. His 154 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 3: name is God with a capital G, the God of 155 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 3: the Bible. He's the creator, and he gets that authority 156 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,880 Speaker 3: because he's good at it, and we need to rest 157 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,240 Speaker 3: in that reality that he's good at it. So yeah, 158 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,720 Speaker 3: I signed at birth, you know. And parents were saying, 159 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 3: I'm going to let my child grow a little bit 160 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,680 Speaker 3: before my child tells me what my child is. I mean, 161 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:11,880 Speaker 3: there are certain obvious distinctions that make a girl a 162 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,240 Speaker 3: girl and a boy a boy, and let's not deny that. 163 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 3: It's not healthy at all. And another vocabulary phrase aren't 164 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,720 Speaker 3: in the struggle that we struggle with is the phrase 165 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 3: gender affirming care, Like we will always for integrity, we 166 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:28,560 Speaker 3: will always say so called gender affirming care. Yeah, so 167 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,640 Speaker 3: gender affirming care is not what people think it is. 168 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,880 Speaker 3: Gender affirming care is letting them become the gender they 169 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 3: want to. 170 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:38,120 Speaker 1: Be, affirming the gender you are. It's not the affirming 171 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:42,200 Speaker 1: the gender you aren't so interesting, it's like the opposite. 172 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,080 Speaker 1: I love the idea of this gender reveal party because 173 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:48,200 Speaker 1: people don't just like shoot nothing like not pink or blue. 174 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,200 Speaker 1: They don't shoot nothing like oh we're not sure yet, 175 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,480 Speaker 1: We'll just let them decide, Like nobody does that. So 176 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 1: to realize, wait a minute, common sense, whether you have 177 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,920 Speaker 1: a biblical worldview or not. That is a common sense 178 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 1: value that there is biological gender. And then how much 179 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,720 Speaker 1: more for the Christian who does believe in the God 180 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 1: with the capital G. 181 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:13,079 Speaker 3: I love that, And Arlene, the joy at the gender 182 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,840 Speaker 3: reveal party that I've seen, right, Like, as you know, 183 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:18,319 Speaker 3: I'm not a mom, I'm not a parent. I have nieces, 184 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 3: a nephew and great nieces a nephew, and then I 185 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:23,240 Speaker 3: have many friends who have had gender reveal parties. The 186 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:27,400 Speaker 3: joy in the moment, the twenty seconds leading up to 187 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 3: the reality, you know, where you're waiting to find out, right, Like, 188 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:34,840 Speaker 3: why can't everyone endorse that as something that's so absolutely beautiful? 189 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:35,800 Speaker 2: Yeah. 190 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 1: In the book you give examples, you know, like of 191 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 1: a middle school boy who's told, well, if you haven't 192 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,040 Speaker 1: kissed a girl yet, that must mean that you're gay. 193 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 1: And I think as parents we need to realize, like 194 00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 1: our kids are getting these confusing messages. 195 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:50,280 Speaker 2: Yes. 196 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,760 Speaker 3: In fact, another confusing message, Arlene is that if a 197 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,439 Speaker 3: girl says, well, I have mostly girlfriends, I mostly have 198 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,320 Speaker 3: friends who are girl, so I must be a lesbian. 199 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,280 Speaker 3: No all girls will I always have more friends who 200 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:01,880 Speaker 3: are girls. 201 00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:05,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's the normal. 202 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:09,000 Speaker 3: Thing that's who you seek for relationships, not in marriage, 203 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:12,800 Speaker 3: but in friendship. Another thing that's such a stereotype that's 204 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:15,400 Speaker 3: so dangerous. And we write in the book about the 205 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,760 Speaker 3: myths and the stereotypes and how this can be so 206 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,839 Speaker 3: dangerous to our girls. I was at an event with 207 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,559 Speaker 3: one hundred and seventy five preteens and teens, and I 208 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,320 Speaker 3: had spoken for about forty five minutes, so they knew 209 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,320 Speaker 3: they could trust me at this point. And I looked 210 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,400 Speaker 3: out at the audience of girls and boys and I said, 211 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:32,400 Speaker 3: how many of you girls would define yourself as a tomboy? 212 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 3: Like do you like to run and climb trees? And 213 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,920 Speaker 3: do you like, you know, sweating, and you don't mind, 214 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 3: you know, being whatever. How many of you think you 215 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:42,040 Speaker 3: might be a tomboy? About seventy five percent of the 216 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,520 Speaker 3: girls raise their hands to indicate that they knew that 217 00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:47,240 Speaker 3: they were tomboys. And then I declared loudly from the 218 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:51,040 Speaker 3: front of the room, tomboys are girls. And they clapped. 219 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,240 Speaker 3: The boys clapped, the girls clap. It was it was 220 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 3: healthy for them to understand that you can be a 221 00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:59,439 Speaker 3: feminine girl who likes to wear a dress occasionally, who 222 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 3: wants to be look nice or whatever. But you can 223 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:05,840 Speaker 3: also sweat and climate tree and run and search for 224 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:09,160 Speaker 3: frogs with your dad in the labor and it doesn't 225 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:12,160 Speaker 3: make you broken. You're just happen to be a girl 226 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:15,000 Speaker 3: who likes those things. And I love that they clapped. 227 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 3: We've got to get better and affirming that there's no 228 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,400 Speaker 3: definitive stereotype. 229 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're a girl and you don't like to 230 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 1: wear makeup, that doesn't make you not a girl. If 231 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 1: you're a guy and you love going to dance class 232 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,600 Speaker 1: in theater, like, that doesn't mean you're gay. 233 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:29,280 Speaker 3: Like that. 234 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 1: You can like these things and still be a boy 235 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,800 Speaker 1: or a girl, Like it's so right. Talk to the 236 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:39,679 Speaker 1: parent who their child has been thinking about this and 237 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:43,560 Speaker 1: you know, drops that bomb of mom, dad, I'm trapped 238 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:46,360 Speaker 1: in the wrong body. So let's pretend someone just said 239 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,839 Speaker 1: that to us our child, So kind of give us 240 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:51,560 Speaker 1: what might we in that moment be the response, and 241 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,920 Speaker 1: then what would the conversations going forward look like? 242 00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:57,199 Speaker 2: I love how practical you are, Arleen. 243 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:01,400 Speaker 3: The first thing we might want to say is tell 244 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:05,959 Speaker 3: me more like I believe that before we interrogate, which 245 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:08,680 Speaker 3: always makes the kid feel like they're wrong. And that 246 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:12,000 Speaker 3: we don't care. Before we interrogate, we want more information. 247 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:17,400 Speaker 3: We might say, help me understand. We might say, oh, 248 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:21,120 Speaker 3: that's interesting, why do you think so? While a kid 249 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:24,320 Speaker 3: on the playground said this to me? Or I was 250 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:27,840 Speaker 3: watching this show and I noticed that this guy. So 251 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,440 Speaker 3: when you find out where that idea came from, especially 252 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:33,360 Speaker 3: if you're surprised, now you have an avenue into truth 253 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 3: that they might discern as true. So I think we 254 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 3: listen longer we say help me understand, why do you 255 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:45,680 Speaker 3: think so? And another statement to make is what happened? 256 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:48,080 Speaker 3: Or another question to ask what happens? If you're wrong, 257 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:51,520 Speaker 3: you can earn the right to ask that question. So 258 00:12:51,559 --> 00:12:53,839 Speaker 3: we need to be present, I like to say, and 259 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:55,559 Speaker 3: I think you'd agree with me. We need to wear 260 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:59,040 Speaker 3: that stone face, you know where, Like we don't panic, 261 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:03,160 Speaker 3: because if we show discussed or anger or panic, they 262 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,920 Speaker 3: might change their question and we might never really get 263 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:09,640 Speaker 3: to their heart confusion. They might stop talking all together. 264 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:13,720 Speaker 3: So ideally we're not overreactive. And you know what's good, 265 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:17,760 Speaker 3: Arleen is let's decide in advance what we would say, right, Yeah, 266 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:18,600 Speaker 3: Like I love that we're. 267 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:19,080 Speaker 2: Talking about this. 268 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 3: I think you know single moms and dads, married couples, 269 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 3: talk about what you would say if because it is 270 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:28,400 Speaker 3: in the air we breathe. It doesn't matter if you're 271 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,520 Speaker 3: in a Christian school, a homeschool, a co op, a 272 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:33,240 Speaker 3: public school. Your kids are being exposed to some of 273 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,960 Speaker 3: the filth in the culture. And it might be a friend, 274 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,840 Speaker 3: it might be a kid on the soccer team. You 275 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,200 Speaker 3: know told me today that you know, she feels more 276 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,880 Speaker 3: like a boy, and I didn't know what to say, Mom. 277 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 3: So be ready by being thoughtful, by reading our book, 278 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,360 Speaker 3: by listening to podcasts like yours, and then being prepared 279 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,600 Speaker 3: so that you have an answer for any any which 280 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:52,960 Speaker 3: season that you find yourself in. 281 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm about to ask you how do we help 282 00:13:56,640 --> 00:14:01,480 Speaker 1: our kids when they have Christian friends who are thinking So, 283 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,360 Speaker 1: I'm going to go there in a second, but before 284 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:07,000 Speaker 1: we go there, tell us raising gender confident kids. Just 285 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 1: help us understand what is gender confidence? 286 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:09,880 Speaker 2: What? 287 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 1: Just describe it for us? 288 00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 2: I love it. 289 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:17,320 Speaker 3: So gender confidence is actually a confidence in God and 290 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:21,640 Speaker 3: his design for us. When we're gender confident, we want 291 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 3: to be the woman we were born to be, or 292 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:24,880 Speaker 3: we want to be the man that we were born 293 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 3: to be. So gender confident boy goes up to be 294 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,200 Speaker 3: a godly man, and a gender confident girl goes up 295 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:33,480 Speaker 3: to be a godly woman. They honor God's creative intent. 296 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,960 Speaker 3: They see that he is a strategic, intentional, loving, and 297 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 3: personal God. So your confidence comes from your awareness that 298 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,040 Speaker 3: God is good and on your sign and doesn't make 299 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:46,120 Speaker 3: mistakes and wanted you who you are for such time 300 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:50,160 Speaker 3: as this. Gender confidence is a confidence in God ultimately beautiful. 301 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:53,720 Speaker 1: So let's say we have our child is in school. 302 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,280 Speaker 1: They love God, they believe in this that there are 303 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:59,400 Speaker 1: too only two genders. But they have a friend who 304 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:02,000 Speaker 1: is a Christian who goes to church and does all 305 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,160 Speaker 1: those things, but thinks, you know, it's fine to be 306 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:09,680 Speaker 1: gay to b trans. How might our child start just 307 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 1: asking questions or kind of putting that rock in their 308 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,800 Speaker 1: shoe to start making them think that, wait, maybe I'm 309 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:15,840 Speaker 1: not thinking the right way. 310 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,640 Speaker 3: That's a great way of saying that part of me 311 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,600 Speaker 3: wants to say that we talk about everything else as well, 312 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,520 Speaker 3: that we make sure that they're not wearing a billboard 313 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,280 Speaker 3: I'm trans. Like, there's still creative in guys. Image, there's 314 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:30,520 Speaker 3: still image bearers, They're still creative, there's still quick at math, 315 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:33,640 Speaker 3: there's still the best you know, basketball front guard or 316 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,040 Speaker 3: point guard. So I think we make sure that we 317 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:40,520 Speaker 3: don't allow that identity lie to become the whole of 318 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,760 Speaker 3: who they are, because that's not true. That's part of 319 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:46,440 Speaker 3: the gender confusion is that they make it their billboard. 320 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:50,640 Speaker 3: And frankly, gender isn't all that significant to most people. 321 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 3: Like I don't wake up thinking I'm a woman every day. 322 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,840 Speaker 3: I just know I'm a woman. So that's one of 323 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,920 Speaker 3: the things I would say. Then another thing I would 324 00:15:56,920 --> 00:16:00,200 Speaker 3: say is that we haven't been discipled. Well, Arlene, let's 325 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,840 Speaker 3: just put that out there. We do talk in the 326 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:05,840 Speaker 3: book about that sin is a cause of the gender confusion, 327 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 3: that the lack of discipleship is a cause people don't 328 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 3: know what is sin and what is righteousness. They've seen, 329 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,920 Speaker 3: you know, the billboard for be whatever you want and 330 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:17,200 Speaker 3: do whatever you want, and you know, they've they've read 331 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:20,080 Speaker 3: that God forgives and God redeems and so it's not really. 332 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:22,040 Speaker 2: A big deal. No, it's a very big deal. 333 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:26,240 Speaker 3: And yet do it's not any bigger deal than anything else. 334 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:30,600 Speaker 3: So you know, if if a Christian identity says to me, 335 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,520 Speaker 3: you know, I'm in the wrong body, then I have 336 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,480 Speaker 3: to think, Okay, I'm a sinner too, like I don't know, 337 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 3: it becomes it becomes confusing. But to honor them, we say, 338 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 3: do you want help? Like, are you satisfied? 339 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:44,160 Speaker 2: I would? 340 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:45,680 Speaker 3: I would earn the right if I was a kid 341 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:47,760 Speaker 3: or an adult, I would earn the right. Are you 342 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,000 Speaker 3: telling me that because you're proud of that and happy? 343 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:51,880 Speaker 3: Or are you telling me that because you're actually confused and 344 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,760 Speaker 3: you're wanting help? And if you think it's the right thing, 345 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:57,760 Speaker 3: can you convince me how if you're you're thirteen years 346 00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,760 Speaker 3: old or fifteen years old or eleven years old, why 347 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,200 Speaker 3: did you just decide this now? 348 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:02,400 Speaker 2: And then? 349 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,479 Speaker 3: This is where we come back to this idea that 350 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:07,960 Speaker 3: you can be uncomfortable for a while. In fact, the research, 351 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,879 Speaker 3: isn't it compelling and encouraging? Ar Lean that the majority 352 00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:14,160 Speaker 3: of young people who are confused about their body, if 353 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,159 Speaker 3: we don't intervene medically, they'll change your mind by the 354 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:21,000 Speaker 3: time they're eighteen. If you don't know, they can socially transition, 355 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:24,680 Speaker 3: which is wardrobe, hair, no makeup, and name change. That's 356 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:28,119 Speaker 3: called social. But they if they don't medically transition, If 357 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:31,280 Speaker 3: they don't take medicine. If there's no surgical procedure, almost 358 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 3: ninety percent of them will right themselves by the time 359 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:37,440 Speaker 3: they're eighteen years old if we keep our hands off. 360 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:39,800 Speaker 3: So we need to be available to the heart cry. 361 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:42,240 Speaker 3: We need to be available to the conversation. And I 362 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:45,000 Speaker 3: think we do everything that we can to convince them 363 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,240 Speaker 3: that it's okay that they're a girl who likes to 364 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,280 Speaker 3: change the oil and dad's truck, and it's okay if 365 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,960 Speaker 3: they're a boy and they want to watch musicals with Grandma. 366 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,240 Speaker 3: We've got to, as you said earlier, we've got to 367 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:57,840 Speaker 3: make sure that the stereotypes are not promoted in our homes. 368 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,680 Speaker 2: That's one of the main reasons that our kids they're confused. 369 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:06,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, a healthy identity is accurate. That's what you wrote 370 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,879 Speaker 1: in the book. And I like that so much that 371 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,960 Speaker 1: maybe you're your child is like, oh you're thumping the 372 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,920 Speaker 1: Bible on me again, or oh, you're the strictest mom. 373 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:14,200 Speaker 3: Ever. 374 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,960 Speaker 1: If we as parents just lean into you know, we 375 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,040 Speaker 1: just want to be accurate. We don't want to lie 376 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,439 Speaker 1: to you. We don't want you to live in a 377 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:25,040 Speaker 1: place that is not accurate. I think that kids would 378 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,760 Speaker 1: respond to that that teenagers would say, Oh, okay, I 379 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:29,119 Speaker 1: don't I kind of don't want that either. 380 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,040 Speaker 2: That's an interesting point. I love that you bring that out. 381 00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:35,040 Speaker 3: And again there's other things besides gender, right like if 382 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:36,719 Speaker 3: we're if they're creative, we don't want to treat them 383 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,960 Speaker 3: like they're not creative. If they're athletic, we don't want 384 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,080 Speaker 3: them to not be a member of a soccer team. 385 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,159 Speaker 3: If they've been playing the piano for six years and 386 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,360 Speaker 3: they want to continue, we're not going to deny that, 387 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:49,879 Speaker 3: and we're going to celebrate that they have a music 388 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,080 Speaker 3: smart identity. So I think I think that's a really 389 00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:55,200 Speaker 3: good point. And we don't want them to live in denial, 390 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,520 Speaker 3: and we don't want them to have blind spots. We 391 00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,199 Speaker 3: do want them to have an accurate view of who 392 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,520 Speaker 3: they are because I identity controls behavior and it will 393 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:03,520 Speaker 3: it'll change their future. 394 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,199 Speaker 1: I think something as parents, you know, we think of 395 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,440 Speaker 1: the ten commandments and we know, okay, this is it, 396 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,800 Speaker 1: the ten commandments. These are them, and the last one, 397 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:16,040 Speaker 1: you know, do not covet and just connecting the dots 398 00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:19,560 Speaker 1: because that I hadn't thought of that till recently. That 399 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,080 Speaker 1: wait a minute, when I want to be in another 400 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,480 Speaker 1: person's body. Like if I'm a girl and I think 401 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:27,240 Speaker 1: I'm a boy, or I'm supposed to be attracted to boys, 402 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:30,200 Speaker 1: but I'm attracted to girls. Whatever it is that I'm 403 00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:33,760 Speaker 1: coveting something that doesn't belong to me, talk about that 404 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:34,200 Speaker 1: a little. 405 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,720 Speaker 2: Oh, it's a good point. That's why we wrote. 406 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:40,760 Speaker 3: We wrote a whole chapter on helping boys be godly 407 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,080 Speaker 3: man in a whole chapter, and helping girls be godly women. 408 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,200 Speaker 2: We want them, we want. 409 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,320 Speaker 3: Our girls and boys to value their gender. We want 410 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,400 Speaker 3: them to value God's design, God's choice, that God does 411 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:53,600 Speaker 3: not make mistakes, that God knows what he's doing, that 412 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:57,240 Speaker 3: God wants men to be courageous and women to be courageous, 413 00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:59,920 Speaker 3: and men to be sensitive and women to be sense 414 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,600 Speaker 3: that this is part of God's plan because we harmonize 415 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,679 Speaker 3: and it works out really well that way. So I 416 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:10,080 Speaker 3: think that's extremely important. And in addition to these ideas 417 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:13,080 Speaker 3: in the book about valuing your own gender, we also 418 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:16,119 Speaker 3: want them to respect the other gender, not lust after it, 419 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,640 Speaker 3: not covet it, but respect it and see it as good. 420 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,879 Speaker 3: So it is an it's an either, it's like both right, 421 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,600 Speaker 3: Like it's good that you're a woman, and it's good 422 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,320 Speaker 3: that he's a man, and it's good that that guy. Yeah, 423 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,560 Speaker 3: it's just to believe that is really significant to not 424 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,359 Speaker 3: lust after, to not cove it. So are we raising 425 00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:35,440 Speaker 3: our girls? Are we good role models in front of them? 426 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,240 Speaker 3: Are the moms listening to us today? Do they celebrating 427 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:43,359 Speaker 3: a mom or oh Arlene? In your home? If the 428 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:47,440 Speaker 3: mom does all the laundry, the husband, father never helps 429 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,600 Speaker 3: with laundry, the mom does it all. And every time 430 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,520 Speaker 3: the mom does it, the girl hears her complain about 431 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:56,280 Speaker 3: all the clothes and all the dirt and all the work. Well, 432 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,439 Speaker 3: that girl begins thinking I don't want to grow up 433 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,399 Speaker 3: and do that. Like that might sound like a pretty 434 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,720 Speaker 3: simple example, but I think there's some truth in that. 435 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:03,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, so does. 436 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,840 Speaker 3: And I'm not saying every mom should love laundry, Oh 437 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:09,320 Speaker 3: my goodness, No, I think like I get that as 438 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:10,159 Speaker 3: much as I can get that. 439 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,160 Speaker 2: But I think we're really careful in what we. 440 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,240 Speaker 3: What we communicate, what we allow our girls and boys 441 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:18,240 Speaker 3: to hear about our value in our gender and it's 442 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:19,800 Speaker 3: good to be who we've been created to be. 443 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,360 Speaker 2: Do we role model that? Yeah? 444 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,399 Speaker 1: I've even heard people say, you know, with pornography so 445 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:28,280 Speaker 1: rampant of girls thinking well I don't want to do that. 446 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,600 Speaker 1: I must I don't want to be with a boy. 447 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:33,080 Speaker 1: I'll just be with a girl, you know, And that 448 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:38,480 Speaker 1: is a huge problem. Yes, I want to go to AI. 449 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:43,760 Speaker 1: So if a child puts in you know, chat GBT 450 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:47,440 Speaker 1: or Grock or Claude, and they say, tell me about 451 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:51,000 Speaker 1: being transgender, tell me about I'm kind of feeling like, 452 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:53,480 Speaker 1: I give me advice. You know what are they going 453 00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:55,040 Speaker 1: to get, doctor Kathy. 454 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,879 Speaker 3: Well, they're not going to get biblical wisdom. And I 455 00:21:58,320 --> 00:21:59,359 Speaker 3: love that you're bringing it up. 456 00:21:59,400 --> 00:21:59,959 Speaker 2: Are Lee in this. 457 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:03,440 Speaker 3: This is again why devices should not be in bedrooms. 458 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:07,440 Speaker 3: We've got to be the authority, the source of wisdom. 459 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:09,199 Speaker 3: I want children to come to a mom and a 460 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,040 Speaker 3: dad and not go to Syria or not go to 461 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:14,560 Speaker 3: a chatbot to say, Mom, I'm just uncomfortable today. I'm 462 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,920 Speaker 3: just not sure I was cut out to be a girl. 463 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,600 Speaker 3: All the girls in my class like ballet and I'm 464 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,480 Speaker 3: clumsy or you know, whatever's going on there. So no 465 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 3: AI is going to tell them go with your feelings. 466 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:26,760 Speaker 3: AI is going to tell them. 467 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:27,280 Speaker 2: Well, you're right. 468 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:30,280 Speaker 3: There's so many good reasons to become a boy. They're 469 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 3: What they're not going to tell them is pain. You'll 470 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,280 Speaker 3: never be healthy another day in your life with I'm 471 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:39,720 Speaker 3: not going to go into it, but there are many 472 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,520 Speaker 3: things that happened physically. If if a man or a 473 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:45,760 Speaker 3: woman chooses a physical alterations, if I can use it 474 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,920 Speaker 3: that word that way, a man can't become a girl 475 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,560 Speaker 3: and a girl can't become a man. It's just an impossibility. 476 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:55,720 Speaker 3: So there's failure. The suicide rate is highest twelve years 477 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:59,840 Speaker 3: after you attempt to transition because what's happening is we're 478 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:02,320 Speaker 3: we're not treating the mental health issues that are really 479 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,080 Speaker 3: at the core of the issue. We're not treating those 480 00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:10,359 Speaker 3: because they think becoming trans will cure their anxiety, stress, depression, 481 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:14,040 Speaker 3: and lack of lust for life. So they transition, they 482 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,040 Speaker 3: think all will be well. It won't be well, and 483 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,720 Speaker 3: then they add to it the medical problems and the 484 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:22,240 Speaker 3: dysfunction that occurs, and maybe a separation from family, loved 485 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:25,320 Speaker 3: ones and isolation. All that they thought would happen won't 486 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,200 Speaker 3: happen in most cases, and. 487 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,680 Speaker 2: So it's just worse. We need AI won't tell them 488 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,840 Speaker 2: that there's me when. 489 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:35,040 Speaker 3: It's appropriate and when it's age appropriate, and all of 490 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:36,879 Speaker 3: those things are leaning that you're so good at teaching 491 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:37,399 Speaker 3: your people. 492 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,600 Speaker 2: When it's right, we need to tell them the whole truth. 493 00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:45,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, doctor Kathy, you are tall, you have a deep voice. 494 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:46,280 Speaker 2: Yeah. 495 00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:49,440 Speaker 1: If you would have been born in this day and age, 496 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,000 Speaker 1: some teacher, somebody would have said to you, well, you know, 497 00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:59,720 Speaker 1: doctor Kathy, little Kathy Cook, talk about that. Just my goodness. 498 00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,399 Speaker 3: No, totally, You're totally right. I do have a low voice. 499 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:07,639 Speaker 3: I'm called sir often. It is discouraging at times. I 500 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:09,719 Speaker 3: can they can actually know that my name is Kathy, 501 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,920 Speaker 3: and my Kathy is a feminine name, right right, then 502 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,000 Speaker 3: they can know my name is Kathy and they can 503 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:19,760 Speaker 3: still say yes, sir. Here's the thing I don't get mad. 504 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,879 Speaker 3: I know who I am. I'm a woman with a 505 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,720 Speaker 3: low voice. I know God is a good creator, so 506 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:27,640 Speaker 3: I know that my voice is right because He chose 507 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 3: it for me. I've been told by the best of 508 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:33,680 Speaker 3: the best that I have a perfect radio voice. When 509 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:37,960 Speaker 3: I teach at some administries or elsewhere, my voice carries 510 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,960 Speaker 3: to the back of the room without any trouble at all, 511 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,680 Speaker 3: and it rises above the noise of the people wrestling 512 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,879 Speaker 3: and the sneezing in the room. So God knew what 513 00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:47,400 Speaker 3: he was doing when he chosen his love to make 514 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,080 Speaker 3: me mean. And because I know that, and the knowing 515 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 3: of my knowing, I'm okay. And if somebody calls me, sir, 516 00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:55,879 Speaker 3: like a drive through restaurant, right, my voice is actually 517 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,960 Speaker 3: lower amplified, so I'll drive, you know, drive through restaurant, 518 00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,520 Speaker 3: and they'll say no, that'll be fine. I eighteen at 519 00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:04,160 Speaker 3: the window, sir, and I don't get mad. They can't 520 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,560 Speaker 3: see me. I have a low voice, don't live in denile. 521 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,920 Speaker 3: I drive eighty hours. I've become a woman. And it's 522 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:12,159 Speaker 3: so funny, you know, because the kids looking down at 523 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:13,920 Speaker 3: the receipt, looking up at me, thinking I thought there 524 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,000 Speaker 3: was going to be a guy in this car. I 525 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:16,960 Speaker 3: don't think that's a guy, you know. I'm not real 526 00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:18,960 Speaker 3: sure and I'm a screaming and side give me my 527 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:22,040 Speaker 3: food it's getting cold, but I just say no, I 528 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:22,680 Speaker 3: have a low voice. 529 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,480 Speaker 2: That's my food and I and I drive off. So 530 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:26,520 Speaker 2: and in most. 531 00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,240 Speaker 3: Days, when I'm healthy, when I've been in the word, 532 00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:33,040 Speaker 3: when I love God well through my choices, I'm comfortable 533 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,199 Speaker 3: and I say I've lived long enough. This is the thing, Arlene, 534 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:37,760 Speaker 3: I tell people all the time, You've got to live 535 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:39,840 Speaker 3: long enough to find out why you are who you are. 536 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:42,480 Speaker 3: I was tall as a kid. I was too tall 537 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,480 Speaker 3: as a kid. Now people can see me when I 538 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,359 Speaker 3: speak because I'm six to one. Yes, I have no 539 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,800 Speaker 3: trouble getting my suitcases into the overhead bins on all 540 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,920 Speaker 3: the planes I fly on right, But when I was young, 541 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:53,760 Speaker 3: I didn't like it. 542 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,800 Speaker 2: That's what I mean by you. 543 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:59,240 Speaker 3: You would learn to live through the uncomfortable moments expecting 544 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:04,760 Speaker 3: to find hope, you know, enjoy and contentment and satisfaction 545 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,760 Speaker 3: and purpose on the other side. And it's it's a 546 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,520 Speaker 3: significant thing. And you're right though. The reason I wrote 547 00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:13,240 Speaker 3: the book was that I have very I have empathy 548 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,040 Speaker 3: for the gender confused. If I was young today being 549 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,320 Speaker 3: called sir, I might wonder if my voice was right 550 00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,680 Speaker 3: and the rest of my body was wrong. And I 551 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,399 Speaker 3: am grateful I don't have to worry about that because 552 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,800 Speaker 3: I'm old enough to know who I am, and I 553 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:31,160 Speaker 3: simply have, by God's design, a voice lower than some 554 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:34,440 Speaker 3: traditional women's voices. It doesn't make me a man. I'm 555 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:37,359 Speaker 3: a woman with a low voice. Train your children to 556 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,240 Speaker 3: know that in the knowing of their knowing. I am 557 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:43,760 Speaker 3: a boy who likes pink. I'm a boy who likes 558 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:44,280 Speaker 3: to color. 559 00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:46,080 Speaker 2: There are there are male art. 560 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:47,920 Speaker 3: Take go to an art museum with your son and 561 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:51,000 Speaker 3: your grandson, and som much art on the wall has 562 00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,320 Speaker 3: been painted by male you know, artists. If you have 563 00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:56,360 Speaker 3: a little boy who likes to cook and he's teased, 564 00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:59,359 Speaker 3: watch any cooking show on TV. The chefs and the 565 00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:03,800 Speaker 3: judges are men. Right, we have got to stop the 566 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:08,679 Speaker 3: myth that's out there. And I pray that this is 567 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 3: helpful for people to be thinking about. 568 00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:14,960 Speaker 1: You know, I'm thinking of how in Revelation, how they 569 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,720 Speaker 1: talk about that they defeated the enemy by the blood 570 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:19,879 Speaker 1: of the lamb and the word of their testimony, And 571 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:23,320 Speaker 1: what you have just shared is your testimony of Hey, 572 00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,239 Speaker 1: this is what I you know, this is who I was, 573 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,560 Speaker 1: and look I learned about it and now this is 574 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,880 Speaker 1: my testimony. Now this is my strength. And so when 575 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:32,680 Speaker 1: we have a twelve year old, a fifteen year old 576 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:36,560 Speaker 1: at sixteen year old is struggling to just listen and 577 00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,800 Speaker 1: help them and not to snowplow and just think, well, 578 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,199 Speaker 1: maybe if they transition will just make it easier for 579 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,359 Speaker 1: all of us know that there's going to be a 580 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,920 Speaker 1: testimony in this and to hang in there. I want 581 00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,760 Speaker 1: you to talk about your dad because the role of 582 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,560 Speaker 1: a parent is so important, as you have reiterated over 583 00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,800 Speaker 1: and over again, and parents are told like, oh, you 584 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,399 Speaker 1: don't really matter, but that's not true, Like you matter 585 00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:01,600 Speaker 1: so much. And you've spent three summers in college working 586 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:04,720 Speaker 1: for your dad and it really opened your eyes about 587 00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:06,080 Speaker 1: your dad. Tell us about that. 588 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:07,639 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that you're bringing that up. 589 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,600 Speaker 3: The company my dad worked for hired the college students 590 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:13,560 Speaker 3: of employees, and which was a wonderful opportunity. So I 591 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:15,840 Speaker 3: drove to and from work every day for three summers 592 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,360 Speaker 3: with my dad, So I heard stories I had never 593 00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,280 Speaker 3: heard before I heard. You know, his questions of me 594 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:23,840 Speaker 3: were different. You know, how was your day and what 595 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:25,880 Speaker 3: did you do? And you know, who did you work 596 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:27,960 Speaker 3: with today? And what did you learn out about yourself. 597 00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:30,080 Speaker 3: If if I would have had a different job and 598 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:32,120 Speaker 3: he would have come home from work, I don't believe 599 00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:33,840 Speaker 3: we would have had that dialogue because by the time 600 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,440 Speaker 3: he would have gotten home, I would have been busy 601 00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:36,960 Speaker 3: and we would have been distracted by. 602 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:38,040 Speaker 2: Dinner and whatever. 603 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:41,360 Speaker 3: One of my favorite encounters was my dad had caused 604 00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:43,480 Speaker 3: something beautiful to happen at his firm. He had made 605 00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:46,440 Speaker 3: a very important decision, he had been he was treated 606 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:49,000 Speaker 3: like a hero. It was a complex problem and he 607 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:51,600 Speaker 3: solved it. And I heard from more than one person, 608 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:55,120 Speaker 3: Oh that's your dad, don Cook, is your dad? Oh 609 00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,160 Speaker 3: he's brilliant. I never would have known that. My dad 610 00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:01,440 Speaker 3: didn't talk about himself at home, so and it reminded 611 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,400 Speaker 3: me of the connection that matters right between a dad 612 00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:06,800 Speaker 3: and a daughter, and again obviously between a mom and 613 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:08,120 Speaker 3: a son, and a mom and a daughter and a 614 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:12,080 Speaker 3: dad and a son. Parents should be the first defense. 615 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,400 Speaker 3: The parents should be the first people we go to 616 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,520 Speaker 3: with our heart cry when we're confused, and so are 617 00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:19,400 Speaker 3: we available? Are we in the word? Are we mature? 618 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:23,480 Speaker 3: Do we listen longer? Do we comfort and not correct quickly? 619 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,800 Speaker 3: Do we acknowledge that we're sad before we're mad? All 620 00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:29,920 Speaker 3: those kinds of things. But my dad been with Jesus 621 00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:32,360 Speaker 3: now twenty two years and I'm you know, I can 622 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:34,440 Speaker 3: look back and just very grateful for he loved me 623 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:35,280 Speaker 3: well like he. 624 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:36,000 Speaker 2: Loved me well. 625 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:37,960 Speaker 3: When my mom and dad heard that, I didn't want 626 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,560 Speaker 3: to be tall anymore. They didn't think about cutting off 627 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,160 Speaker 3: six inches between the knee and the ankle. No, they 628 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:46,080 Speaker 3: knew they had a daughter with a perceived problem, and 629 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:49,440 Speaker 3: let's change her attitude toward herself. So they enrolled me 630 00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:52,080 Speaker 3: in tap dance class. And that's where I became comfortable 631 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:56,560 Speaker 3: being tall, center of the back row. I became coordinated, 632 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:57,680 Speaker 3: and I had been clumsy. 633 00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:02,000 Speaker 2: My dad was a part of that. And I'm just 634 00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:03,680 Speaker 2: so grateful, so grateful. 635 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,640 Speaker 1: It's so beautiful. You had written in the book these 636 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,320 Speaker 1: rides were not about the child being seen, which is 637 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,880 Speaker 1: usually the case and what I thought I needed. They 638 00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:15,680 Speaker 1: were about the child seeing the dad. Yeah, and I 639 00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:18,239 Speaker 1: like that so much because we as parents sometimes we 640 00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:21,160 Speaker 1: were too child centered. Everything about the child, and you 641 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,640 Speaker 1: need your child to learn about you, and you need 642 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:27,920 Speaker 1: your child to be able to recognize that you understand 643 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:30,200 Speaker 1: them and that you also can guide them. Because you've 644 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:33,680 Speaker 1: done this, you're wiser. Okay, we could go on and 645 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:35,840 Speaker 1: on and on, but I'm going to give one last 646 00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:39,520 Speaker 1: question warning signs. I know it's kind of not a 647 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,360 Speaker 1: happy place to end, but are there things that would 648 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:43,920 Speaker 1: tip us off, like, oh, we need to have a 649 00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:47,280 Speaker 1: conversation oh, we need to fast and pray about this. Oh, oh, 650 00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,080 Speaker 1: you know, what are some warning signs that our kid 651 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:49,920 Speaker 1: might be struggling. 652 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:51,760 Speaker 2: Oh, that's such a good question. 653 00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:55,360 Speaker 3: I think any major change in the child's behavior indicates 654 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:58,520 Speaker 3: something is wrong. If they typically are your sous chef 655 00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,240 Speaker 3: and they're with you in the kitchen, you know, gotten 656 00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:01,920 Speaker 3: up the vegetables, and now for three days in a 657 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:05,880 Speaker 3: row they've avoided the kitchen, something's happening. If your kid 658 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:08,440 Speaker 3: regularly wants to play catch when you get home from work, 659 00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:10,400 Speaker 3: and now though I'm not in the mood. 660 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:11,240 Speaker 2: Something's happened. 661 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:14,120 Speaker 3: They're thinking about something, They've been exposed to something, something's 662 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:17,560 Speaker 3: happened to them. They're questioning something, and they're afraid. If 663 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:19,160 Speaker 3: you look in their eyes, you know they're going to know. 664 00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:21,160 Speaker 3: So watch for any kind of a major change, and 665 00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:24,280 Speaker 3: then make the opportunity where you talk one on one, 666 00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:27,719 Speaker 3: no siblings around, and hey, you know, Bethany, I've noticed 667 00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:30,959 Speaker 3: that you've avoided the kitchen, So something's up, you know, 668 00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:33,320 Speaker 3: talk to me, you know, let them know that you're seeing. 669 00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,640 Speaker 3: So it's behavior that changes that I think usually indicate something. 670 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:38,959 Speaker 3: Now you know, what are they watching? What are they 671 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,920 Speaker 3: listening to do they have a new friend coming over? 672 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,959 Speaker 3: Sometimes it's obvious things that will be if you if 673 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:47,200 Speaker 3: your kid is in a school situation and they're talking 674 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:49,560 Speaker 3: at home about a new you know, English teacher, and 675 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,840 Speaker 3: you're uncomfortable, go to the school. Ask some questions, Observe 676 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:56,959 Speaker 3: in the classroom, see what's going on. Be available. So 677 00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:00,960 Speaker 3: if they avoid you, something's going on. And if they're flippant, 678 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:04,440 Speaker 3: something's going on. If they're typically with people, now they're alone, 679 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:06,840 Speaker 3: or they're typically alone another with people, watch for a 680 00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:10,720 Speaker 3: change and talk about it. If they're curious, Arlene, it 681 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:14,880 Speaker 3: doesn't necessarily mean that they themselves are confused about gender. 682 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:18,680 Speaker 3: They may really truly may have a best friend. They 683 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:21,320 Speaker 3: may have a teacher who has a beard wearing a dress, 684 00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:24,840 Speaker 3: and it's confusing. And if they don't feel free to 685 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:27,640 Speaker 3: come to you, they're going to ask AI through Google 686 00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:31,400 Speaker 3: dot Com or Siri or somebody and something, and it's 687 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:34,160 Speaker 3: not going to be good for them. So and you know, Arlene, 688 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:36,920 Speaker 3: if we've talked with our kids about hard stuff from 689 00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:39,560 Speaker 3: the time that they're old enough to remember, then they 690 00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:41,840 Speaker 3: should come to us like this conversation, like when they're 691 00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:44,040 Speaker 3: two and three, and four. And we're the ones that 692 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:47,080 Speaker 3: comfort them, and we're the ones who wipe away their 693 00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,840 Speaker 3: tears when a friend, you know, didn't remember to call 694 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:52,080 Speaker 3: them back, or you know, knock on the front door 695 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:53,920 Speaker 3: because the neighbor was going to come over and play. 696 00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:56,400 Speaker 3: When we're the ones who comfort them and we're the 697 00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:58,640 Speaker 3: ones that answer, they're going to keep coming to us. 698 00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:01,840 Speaker 2: And that's what we want. If they avoid us, something's happening. 699 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:05,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, such a good word, doctor Kathy. How can people 700 00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:07,400 Speaker 1: find out more about you and get this book? 701 00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:08,280 Speaker 2: Thank you? 702 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:11,840 Speaker 3: So our website is celebrate Kids dot com Celebrate Kids 703 00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:15,040 Speaker 3: dot com, and we're on Facebook and Instagram at Celebrate Kids, Inc. 704 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,000 Speaker 3: And we have a podcast and we have a blog 705 00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:19,480 Speaker 3: and all of that is available at our website. And 706 00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:23,040 Speaker 3: then our book is certainly available in the shopping cart 707 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:25,880 Speaker 3: our online store at Celebrate Kids dot com and we 708 00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:27,920 Speaker 3: would love them to purchase it from us. We are 709 00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:31,080 Speaker 3: in ministry and we benefit frankly from the income that 710 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,400 Speaker 3: we derive from the purchase of the book, and we're 711 00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:36,959 Speaker 3: almost Amazon Prime. The guy that directs my ministry as 712 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,840 Speaker 3: eight kids, and some of them help in the shipping 713 00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:41,160 Speaker 3: and distribution of product. 714 00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:42,080 Speaker 2: They love it. 715 00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:45,840 Speaker 3: They make fifty cents per order, So help out the 716 00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,160 Speaker 3: Wayne's kids and place an order and you'll make them 717 00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:48,880 Speaker 3: smile today. 718 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,400 Speaker 1: Okay, that's enough to be like, Okay, I'm going to 719 00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,680 Speaker 1: Celebrate Kids and I'm getting a book because I want 720 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:55,880 Speaker 1: these kids to pack my box for me. Thank you 721 00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:57,520 Speaker 1: what Doctor Kathy. 722 00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,240 Speaker 2: Don't buy it from that online distributor. 723 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:00,479 Speaker 1: I love it. 724 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,440 Speaker 3: Thank you so much, Elian and I love talking to you. 725 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,799 Speaker 1: To learn more about doctor Kathy and to get her book, 726 00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:14,920 Speaker 1: raising Gender Confident Kids, go to celebrate Kids dot com 727 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:17,640 Speaker 1: and that link will be in the show notes. Friends. 728 00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:20,080 Speaker 1: I think it was Dennis Prigger that says to be 729 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:24,440 Speaker 1: unclear is to be unkind when we're kind of fuzzy 730 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:26,920 Speaker 1: about this whole gender thing because we just don't want 731 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,880 Speaker 1: to engage. We are being unkind to our kids. And really, 732 00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:32,279 Speaker 1: our kids will know the truth and the truth will 733 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:35,920 Speaker 1: set them free. So don't be afraid have these awkward conversations. 734 00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:38,239 Speaker 1: If you know someone who has a child who is 735 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:42,000 Speaker 1: struggling with their gender, please share this podcast with them, 736 00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:45,120 Speaker 1: and remember you don't have to come from a happy 737 00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:48,799 Speaker 1: home to create one. You too can have a happy home.