1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:06,600 Speaker 1: Life audio, and I'm feeling like I shouldn't be leading. 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,879 Speaker 1: I don't have a calling. How can I possibly help 3 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:16,360 Speaker 1: anyone else when I'm barely managing. I didn't know the 4 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,000 Speaker 1: way out. Welcome to the Faith Over your podcast, where 5 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:23,040 Speaker 1: we discuss powerful truths to quiet anxiety and fear big 6 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:26,799 Speaker 1: and small. I'm Jennifer Slattery and I'm Carol McCracken, and 7 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:31,440 Speaker 1: we wonder do you ever feel so overwhelmed by your emotions, 8 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,760 Speaker 1: like you just can't handle one more thing. Maybe you're 9 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:39,640 Speaker 1: finding yourself either wanting to isolate and withdraw, or you're 10 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:44,080 Speaker 1: lashing out to people, and you just feel like you 11 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:48,000 Speaker 1: are far beyond We hope that this episode will give 12 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:51,080 Speaker 1: you some practical tools that can reduce some of your 13 00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:54,960 Speaker 1: overwhelm and help you experience Christ in the middle of 14 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: your pain, anxiety, whatever else is going on in your world. 15 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:01,360 Speaker 1: Join us after these brief messages. 16 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:11,920 Speaker 2: From our sponsors Carol. 17 00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 1: Both of us have experienced where it's just like I 18 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 1: cannot handle one more thing exactly. 19 00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 3: I think that's pretty common in our existence as a 20 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:26,440 Speaker 3: human race. We have more tools, so we're more overwhelmed. 21 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:30,360 Speaker 2: I love it, I love it, I love it. Yes, 22 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 2: I've shared before. 23 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 1: I think how I called it my No Good, horrible, terrible, 24 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 1: really bad. It was about a year and a half 25 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:41,959 Speaker 1: maybe actually maybe three years where I literally I felt 26 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,280 Speaker 1: like my life was imploding. When I was in the 27 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:46,640 Speaker 1: throes of it, I didn't tell a lot of people 28 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 1: what was going on because I felt like I should 29 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,920 Speaker 1: be able to handle all of these things. I didn't 30 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 1: understand emotional capacity. Sometimes I think we're just kind of 31 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:56,600 Speaker 1: going through life and it's like one thing, Okay, I 32 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 1: can deal with that one thing, Okay, I can deal 33 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 1: with that one. And then pretty soon, if we're being 34 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:03,040 Speaker 1: hit in so many directions, we reach a point that 35 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:07,680 Speaker 1: nobody could manage, right. And so in my No Good, horrible, terrible, 36 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:10,280 Speaker 1: really bad three years, my husband and I were helping 37 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:13,840 Speaker 1: to care for my in laws and my father in 38 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 1: law was actually he ended up passing not long as 39 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,640 Speaker 1: so we every visit is like we knew that it 40 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:23,360 Speaker 1: could be our last. And so I'm processing I love 41 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,799 Speaker 1: both of my well, I loved my father in law 42 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 1: and my mother in law, and then there's just the 43 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,799 Speaker 1: stress and the fear, right Like, so we would be 44 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,200 Speaker 1: driving home and it's like and we would get a 45 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 1: text that Dad had fallen. During that season, I was 46 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:40,320 Speaker 1: going through a relational storm because of my own dysfunction 47 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 1: that I wasn't an alert to, largely from someone I 48 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 1: really really cared about that I feared that I didn't 49 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,640 Speaker 1: know how to fix, and I feared I would lose 50 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:51,560 Speaker 1: the relationship. And my daughter, as a young adult, had 51 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:57,200 Speaker 1: received emergency custody of a highly traumatized teenager who had 52 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:00,600 Speaker 1: a lot of mental health challenges that even in the 53 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:05,840 Speaker 1: emergency mental health facility hospital couldn't manage her. And so 54 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,080 Speaker 1: here was my daughter at a young age, trying to 55 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 1: manage this, and I was having some issues with I 56 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 1: have some chronic health challenges. My health wasn't doing well. 57 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,960 Speaker 1: And then to top it off, I quit sleeping so 58 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:20,400 Speaker 1: and I'm sure that was menopause related, but also just 59 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 1: my anxiety kept mounting. And what I didn't realize that 60 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:29,920 Speaker 1: I realized later that really elevated my overwhelm. There were 61 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 1: things related to the teenage daughter that my daughter had 62 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 1: custody of that were very similar to some of my 63 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:42,680 Speaker 1: most traumatic experiences. And I'm feeling like I shouldn't be leading. 64 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: I don't have a calling, how can I possibly help 65 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:52,440 Speaker 1: anyone else when I'm barely managing, I didn't know the 66 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:54,560 Speaker 1: way out, and I'm like, is this going to be 67 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,960 Speaker 1: the rest of my life feeling this? And am I 68 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,400 Speaker 1: going to lose everything that is important to me? 69 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 2: I also like, during that. 70 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:09,160 Speaker 1: Season, just completely candidly, I ruined two relationships because I 71 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 1: didn't react. I was reacting out of fear and survival 72 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,720 Speaker 1: mentality because of all of these things. I had nothing 73 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: to do really with the situation. I've learned from that 74 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:20,919 Speaker 1: that like, we are not Jesus right. 75 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:23,600 Speaker 4: That's it. 76 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 3: Emotional capacity is a weird thing because it kind of fluctuates, 77 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:28,320 Speaker 3: and I think a lot of us don't know what 78 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:31,400 Speaker 3: it is until you go through with it because life changes, 79 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 3: and it's like how do you handle? How do you process? 80 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 3: How do you respond to this? Emotional experience? And awareness 81 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:41,320 Speaker 3: is key? You know, you said you were not aware. 82 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 3: You probably didn't even know how you were feeling or 83 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:45,120 Speaker 3: why if I should. 84 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,040 Speaker 2: Be a lot of the time, yeah, you know. 85 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,600 Speaker 3: And then then how do you emotionally regulate with that 86 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:53,480 Speaker 3: without being shut down? I mean, you are a mother, 87 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:57,960 Speaker 3: you were a ministry leader. You can't shut down. You're needed. 88 00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,320 Speaker 3: What do you have available? 89 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,279 Speaker 4: For others, and you need so much. 90 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:05,680 Speaker 1: Right for those who don't understand what emotional capacity is, 91 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 1: I'm gonna use my therapist words because it was very 92 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 1: helpful for me to kind of envision. She relays it 93 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 1: like a bridge. So let's say our capacity is a bridge, 94 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,560 Speaker 1: and then every time we have some emotional weight, we're 95 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 1: adding weight to that bridge. So like, if you look 96 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,840 Speaker 1: at my story, there's the impending death of my father 97 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,360 Speaker 1: in law, there's caring for both my helping to care 98 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,480 Speaker 1: for both my in love and so all of these. 99 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 1: If you're looking like if you were standing here and 100 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 1: somebody were putting twenty pound weights in your arm, like, okay, 101 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,480 Speaker 1: I can handle carrying a twenty pound weight all day. 102 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 1: I mean it's not easy. It's going to affect me. 103 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,760 Speaker 1: And maybe I can handle forty pounds, but then you 104 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 1: get sixty pounds, and then you get eighty pounds. There 105 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:46,719 Speaker 1: reaches a point where our bridge just breaks. And it's 106 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 1: not because we're weak or because and I think that's 107 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,960 Speaker 1: the thing to reckon. Like they're looking back now that 108 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:57,280 Speaker 1: I know emotional capacity, we had times where we did 109 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 1: foster care and I didn't react well and I just 110 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,039 Speaker 1: got stuck in shame, like why should be able to 111 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,279 Speaker 1: do better? Right? Like I want to be loving and 112 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:07,479 Speaker 1: gracious and patient and kind and all those things we 113 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,600 Speaker 1: read in Galatians five, twenty two and twenty three, And 114 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:12,760 Speaker 1: yet here I'm losing my cool or I'm shutting down, 115 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 1: or I'm staring in space for five hours? 116 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:16,159 Speaker 2: What's wrong with me? 117 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 1: Well? It was it was too much. I was putting 118 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 1: myself in positions that were beyond my emotional capacity, and 119 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:28,840 Speaker 1: then I was surprised or shocked or shamed when I 120 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:33,840 Speaker 1: reacted from my overwhelming circumstances. 121 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:37,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, you're probably like, look, who is this woman I'm inhabiting? 122 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:40,719 Speaker 3: Because it was unlike how you would normally perform when 123 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,240 Speaker 3: you had a lot less on your bridge. Right. 124 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 1: I think that's why it's so important for us to 125 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:51,280 Speaker 1: recognize and honor our emotional capacity. And I'm curious, care, 126 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:54,320 Speaker 1: what do you think is more challenging to recognize our 127 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,240 Speaker 1: emotional capacity and when things are becoming too much or 128 00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 1: actually honoring that, like acknowledging it and not trying to 129 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:01,680 Speaker 1: push through. 130 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 3: I don't know that's a good question, because both of them. 131 00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:07,159 Speaker 3: How do I honor both? First of all, awareness you 132 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:11,120 Speaker 3: don't isolate. I tend to like power through and not 133 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 3: seek help, and that makes it worse. That's exactly right. 134 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,480 Speaker 3: So it's hard for me to see. It was hard 135 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:21,160 Speaker 3: for me to seek help. I have surrounded myself on 136 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 3: purpose with people not just to watch me, but like 137 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:28,240 Speaker 3: prayer partner people to kind of hey, Carol, you're acting 138 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 3: a little at did you sleep last night? That kind 139 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 3: of thing. So is this a trend or is it 140 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 3: a one time thing? And so I've got safeguards to 141 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:39,840 Speaker 3: help me at this point. I did purpose like because 142 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 3: I tend to power through things. 143 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, which and if we can go back to I'll 144 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:44,840 Speaker 1: see if I can find the episode and put it 145 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 1: in the show notes. Because you actually shared that story. 146 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:49,880 Speaker 1: It led to alcoholism for you and a destroyed marriage 147 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:53,080 Speaker 1: that God has since rebuilt, which is beautiful. But I 148 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:55,160 Speaker 1: think that's why it's so important to like when we don't, 149 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:58,720 Speaker 1: when we try to power through and we don't, when 150 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,440 Speaker 1: I mean honor our capacity is I think we are taught, 151 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 1: we've got the Holy Spirit, we can do all things 152 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,320 Speaker 1: through Christ, who strengthens us. 153 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 2: Well. 154 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 1: Sometimes Christ is saying, baby, go you need to go 155 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 1: take a nap, or you need a retreat, or you 156 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,960 Speaker 1: need to go cry, or you need to sit in 157 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,360 Speaker 1: my presence. And so I think, but then if we 158 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 1: try to power through it, at least for me, it 159 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:24,320 Speaker 1: never goes well. It always creates a mess, which then 160 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:28,600 Speaker 1: adds to my shame and adds to regret. And like 161 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 1: I mentioned, I've damaged relationships. 162 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 3: It's a cycle because you don't know how long it's 163 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 3: gonna last. Mentally, you're thinking it's short term if I 164 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 3: just get through it, Well, what if it's a long 165 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:41,880 Speaker 3: term thing? And so I got tired of failing, and 166 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 3: so that's why I turned to something that was dysfunctional. 167 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,000 Speaker 3: I'm just gonna have alcohol. It's going to help me 168 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,440 Speaker 3: just numb for a little while. I'm gonna quit thinking 169 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 3: about all of this stuff and just chill. 170 00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:52,480 Speaker 4: For a little while. 171 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:53,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. 172 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:55,480 Speaker 3: You know, sometimes if you. 173 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 4: Have a propensity to things. 174 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,400 Speaker 3: You know, you lean on it too much, right, what 175 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:00,800 Speaker 3: I mean about being aware. 176 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,400 Speaker 1: I think the other thing that can be challenging for 177 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:05,280 Speaker 1: me is like I'm watching other people in my family 178 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:09,080 Speaker 1: who appear to be handling all of this, because a 179 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:11,320 Speaker 1: lot of this hit our family as a whole, right, 180 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 1: Like we were all carrying the weight together, and it 181 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 1: was too much, even with us all linking arms and 182 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:18,720 Speaker 1: carrying the weight together. And different people are going to 183 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:24,240 Speaker 1: respond to overwhelming situations differently, and some of it we 184 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:27,600 Speaker 1: all walk into it with different levels of resiliency. Right, 185 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 1: the situation with this teenage girl that my daughter was raising, 186 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,839 Speaker 1: it's going to be more challenging in some ways for 187 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,360 Speaker 1: my daughter because of her age and her experience and 188 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,480 Speaker 1: all of that. And then it was more challenging for 189 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 1: me in some ways because there were trauma triggers that 190 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,679 Speaker 1: were occurring. So and with my father in law, it's 191 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 1: going to affect my husband differently because it was his dad. 192 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,160 Speaker 1: And so we try to compare, Right, well, so and 193 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 1: so seems like they're doing so well. Why why am 194 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,560 Speaker 1: I not doing well? Or so and so we hear 195 00:09:56,679 --> 00:10:01,080 Speaker 1: stories of somebody who's got terminal cancer and they and 196 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:03,440 Speaker 1: they're praising God the whole time. Well, first of all, 197 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 1: what's going on internally? We have no idea. Second of all, 198 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,000 Speaker 1: we all come, we all start from a different place. 199 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:14,439 Speaker 1: And I also like what you talked about in your situation, 200 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 1: the longevity of it, because that makes it ten times harder. 201 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:24,360 Speaker 1: If we're the law, it's and go back to that 202 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,199 Speaker 1: weight we're carrying. Right, The longer we carry that weight, 203 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 1: the weaker our arms get, and then our back starts 204 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,960 Speaker 1: to bow, and then we've got back aches, and then 205 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,160 Speaker 1: it affects our posture like it's hard. 206 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,640 Speaker 3: That's right. It can be a little stretch, fractures. We're 207 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:41,240 Speaker 3: carrying things that we were never meant to carry by ourselves. 208 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,400 Speaker 1: Yes, I want to go back to what you said 209 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:48,120 Speaker 1: too about you didn't want to feel. And I know 210 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,320 Speaker 1: you've gone to therapy. I'm gonna be in therapy for 211 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,079 Speaker 1: five hundred years. 212 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:51,440 Speaker 2: I don't know. 213 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,480 Speaker 1: But a big part I don't know about for you, 214 00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 1: but I think a big part of therapy is teaching 215 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,520 Speaker 1: us not just to feel, but what to do with 216 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,640 Speaker 1: our own what to do, like there are ways when 217 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,840 Speaker 1: we're anxious that we can calm ourselves. There are ways 218 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,560 Speaker 1: we can bring joy, which maybe we'll get Hopefully we'll 219 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:13,960 Speaker 1: get time to talk about that in this episode. And 220 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,720 Speaker 1: I would love if we can actually shift a bit, 221 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:22,679 Speaker 1: because I love how much scripture provides guidance for us 222 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:24,280 Speaker 1: in our overwhelmed. 223 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:27,480 Speaker 3: It's always a practical tool when we're feeling alone. I'm 224 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,199 Speaker 3: telling you can find somebody in the Bible. We cannot 225 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:34,440 Speaker 3: make up the things that happen, right, What these people 226 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:37,840 Speaker 3: have been through, yes, and how they dealt with it 227 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,360 Speaker 3: is full of flawed people. So I like to go 228 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:43,080 Speaker 3: to it to see that I am not alone. I 229 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 3: just have to remember to go back to it. Take 230 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:47,720 Speaker 3: David for example, I know you're going to bring him 231 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 3: up because you've been working with David a lot lately. 232 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,080 Speaker 2: I'm obsessed with David. 233 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, he's my favorite character too, So I think you 234 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:56,679 Speaker 3: picked a good one there. And I know that you've 235 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:59,319 Speaker 3: been talking about he's been through a lot. He's started 236 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:02,440 Speaker 3: young with the lot of success. When he was very 237 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:05,160 Speaker 3: young and he killed a giant. But he didn't start 238 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,959 Speaker 3: out that way. He was an unfavored child, the least 239 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,960 Speaker 3: likely that you would pick. His brothers were jealous of him, 240 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,280 Speaker 3: but yet he killed a giant. 241 00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:14,400 Speaker 4: How do you do that? 242 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:17,080 Speaker 3: How are you that stable in yourself that you know 243 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,800 Speaker 3: that you can go and do that, that you have courage, 244 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 3: that you have trust. I don't think it was just 245 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,040 Speaker 3: in him. I think that it was in God at 246 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,400 Speaker 3: a very young age. 247 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,480 Speaker 2: That's a really good yeah. 248 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:31,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think another great example is when he 249 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:35,480 Speaker 1: when he's going through his Like there's a season of 250 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,920 Speaker 1: his life where he's fleeing for his for his life, 251 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:40,160 Speaker 1: like afraid that the then reign and king was going 252 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 1: to kill him, and he could have killed his enemy, 253 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:46,160 Speaker 1: and he chose not to. He chose self control, and 254 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:50,199 Speaker 1: he chose to in that season trust in and rely 255 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,360 Speaker 1: on God. So I agree with you, like we see 256 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,080 Speaker 1: a lot of his life, We see a lot of 257 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:59,520 Speaker 1: stability that I agree it was because he anchored himself 258 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:02,120 Speaker 1: in Christ. So I think we can learn from his 259 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:06,080 Speaker 1: coping strategies. Do you like, do you see any of 260 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,680 Speaker 1: his coping strategy Like, Okay, this really I find this 261 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:09,720 Speaker 1: really effective? 262 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,400 Speaker 3: Yes, because what I would do, I'm not very good 263 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,040 Speaker 3: at naming my feelings. I can name yours, no problem, 264 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,319 Speaker 3: It's difficult for me. 265 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, he talks. 266 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,880 Speaker 3: He just goes to God, just talks normally, like the 267 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 3: psalms that you were referring to that he had written 268 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,200 Speaker 3: during those times maybe in the wilderness, are fleeing God. 269 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,240 Speaker 4: This is not good. 270 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:34,440 Speaker 3: You seem far away from me. God, here I am. 271 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:35,840 Speaker 4: When are you going to deliver me? 272 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:39,240 Speaker 3: Like, he's really honest, He's not disrespectful to God. 273 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:40,160 Speaker 4: Don't get me wrong. 274 00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 3: But he is in the pattern of acknowledging, being aware, 275 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 3: going I don't like this. How long are we going 276 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,160 Speaker 3: to continue like this? Where are you God? 277 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 2: Yeah? 278 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:54,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, But his focus is on the right thing, because 279 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,040 Speaker 3: then maybe the circumstances aren't changing. 280 00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,679 Speaker 4: But David is changing. 281 00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:04,000 Speaker 3: Was changing himself because he's like, oh God, you are 282 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:10,000 Speaker 3: the deliverer, you are the strong one. You do have 283 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:13,720 Speaker 3: a plan. So he works himself through some yucky self 284 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 3: awareness to the guy that's really in charge, and sometimes 285 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,680 Speaker 3: it takes him a little longer to get there, but 286 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:20,480 Speaker 3: he gets there. 287 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:20,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. 288 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:23,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I think it's really important that we I 289 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:28,720 Speaker 1: love that you. He sounds really well, very overwhelmed a 290 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:31,800 Speaker 1: lot of his now look at so here is because 291 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,960 Speaker 1: sometimes we think like I shouldn't feel this way, I 292 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,240 Speaker 1: shouldn't be so overwhelmed. I should be able to handle this, 293 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:39,360 Speaker 1: and we suppress our and we shouldn't definitely shouldn't talk 294 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 1: to God like that, you know, and sometimes how we 295 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 1: can feel. But here's a warrior saying, I mean some 296 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:48,080 Speaker 1: of it is like I'm weeping all night on my pillow. 297 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:51,760 Speaker 1: There's nobody who cares for me, and that should help 298 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 1: knock down a little. 299 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:54,000 Speaker 2: Of our shame. 300 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,560 Speaker 1: Maybe when we are feeling those things, it's like it's 301 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:00,880 Speaker 1: like God recorded these in scripture to say, this is 302 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:06,160 Speaker 1: your invitation to express to me. And I think you 303 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,480 Speaker 1: said so you mentioned how you don't always know how 304 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 1: you're feeling. I think that's pretty common. I think it 305 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:14,080 Speaker 1: can be very common in the church unfortunately, where sometimes 306 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:17,080 Speaker 1: we're taught to cover everything beneath it. 307 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:17,800 Speaker 2: How are you doing? 308 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,560 Speaker 1: Oh, praise God, everything's great, and everybody's saying that, so 309 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,160 Speaker 1: we better say it too, even though we're dying inside. 310 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,400 Speaker 2: Right. But I think also if we grew. 311 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:29,680 Speaker 1: Up in a dysfunctional home, we were taught not to 312 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 1: feel because maybe it would have been too overwhelming for 313 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,400 Speaker 1: a five year old brain what we were feeling, or 314 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,320 Speaker 1: maybe we were taught to care for everyone else and 315 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:40,960 Speaker 1: that our needs weren't important. And so I think it 316 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 1: can feel really confusing to say, Okay, what am I 317 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,520 Speaker 1: feeling in this moment and why? And then I think 318 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:58,560 Speaker 1: added to that is it takes time. When I was 319 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:04,000 Speaker 1: in my overwhelm, I shared I actually ended a thriving 320 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:06,520 Speaker 1: ministry like we and you know, Carol, because that's when 321 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 1: we met, we had global impact. 322 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,840 Speaker 2: It was growing and that. 323 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 1: Was hard because I felt very deeply that the people 324 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:22,680 Speaker 1: we served needed us. And it was also hard because 325 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,520 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, God was in it. I knew 326 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:27,280 Speaker 1: God was in it and I and but I knew 327 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:32,160 Speaker 1: I couldn't. I couldn't both heal and process and really 328 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,000 Speaker 1: take the time I needed with Christ in that season 329 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:38,480 Speaker 1: to increase my capacity. And I also during that season, 330 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:43,080 Speaker 1: I needed a lot of extra joy to intentionally find. 331 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:45,960 Speaker 1: And we got a puppy. My husband's so awesome, And 332 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,200 Speaker 1: I got to tell you, if you're overwhelmed, well, okay, 333 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:53,320 Speaker 1: get a puppy potty trained. But godot but I and 334 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:56,480 Speaker 1: I actually am highly legit in this. My little bean 335 00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:00,200 Speaker 1: has been one of my best self care tools. She 336 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,840 Speaker 1: brings me joy, she brings me laughter. I have to 337 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:04,960 Speaker 1: stop and play. I have to because I got to 338 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,520 Speaker 1: take care of her. I have to go out on 339 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,800 Speaker 1: a walk because she needs the walk. And so it's 340 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:13,360 Speaker 1: just that helping me to remove when I'm seeing myself 341 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:26,040 Speaker 1: in overwhelming What are some things you do to help 342 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:29,680 Speaker 1: give yourself space to even recognize when you're in overwhelm. 343 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,560 Speaker 3: I do a couple of things I know that I 344 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,919 Speaker 3: need to work out. I need to get out of 345 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 3: my head a lot. And when my body's healthy, I 346 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,400 Speaker 3: sleep better and it's just a real good cycle all 347 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:43,359 Speaker 3: the way around. So I enjoined this bar studio B 348 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:44,960 Speaker 3: A R R E like the best I. 349 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,880 Speaker 4: Ben, I beg and you did good. 350 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,800 Speaker 2: Yeah it was hard. 351 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,800 Speaker 3: Oh it was hard, wasn't it. But there's this variety 352 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,239 Speaker 3: of things you can do. You know, with weights, you 353 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:58,200 Speaker 3: can go up to the ballet bar and do these 354 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:01,120 Speaker 3: things where your muscles just burn. But I mean it's 355 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,840 Speaker 3: stuff that if there's a community, first they miss me 356 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,119 Speaker 3: when I'm gone because I go there all the time. 357 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:09,000 Speaker 3: But if I don't focus on what they're telling me 358 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,000 Speaker 3: to do, I will fall down. So it gets my 359 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:14,720 Speaker 3: head out of the future interesting and brings it to 360 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,080 Speaker 3: the present. I am forced for an hour to be 361 00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 3: in the present. And it sounds very simple, but that 362 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:24,879 Speaker 3: is something major for me. I'm a very I'm always 363 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,200 Speaker 3: in the future. It's hard for me to be present 364 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:30,919 Speaker 3: unless I really focus on it. So it's something like 365 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,280 Speaker 3: that for self care really helps. I could sit in 366 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,000 Speaker 3: my home office the whole time and always find something 367 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:38,520 Speaker 3: to do. I love productivity. 368 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,920 Speaker 1: It's my worth right right right well, and I think 369 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,240 Speaker 1: so this is why it's so important. 370 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:44,240 Speaker 2: You're busy. 371 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,280 Speaker 1: I mean, you're a wedding planner, you're a podcaster, part 372 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,960 Speaker 1: of two podcasts. You do video devotion You're awesome, Adam, 373 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,440 Speaker 1: you do video devotionals on Crosswalk, you're on staff, out 374 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:57,280 Speaker 1: of church, you're married. I mean, you've got But yet 375 00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:03,560 Speaker 1: you've decided if if I want to not live in 376 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:08,199 Speaker 1: perpetual overwhelm, I am going to intentionally take time to 377 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,200 Speaker 1: do these things. And one thing that was a shift 378 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,879 Speaker 1: for me, there's a couple of things that were a 379 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:17,520 Speaker 1: shift for me, is recognizing my relationship with Christ and 380 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:21,520 Speaker 1: those I love is the most important. Ministries will come 381 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,560 Speaker 1: and go, podcasts will come and go. I won't have 382 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,959 Speaker 1: another husband, I won't have another daughter, right, I mean, 383 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,119 Speaker 1: I'm fifty, so I won't some of you money if 384 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:33,800 Speaker 1: I have. But also and just recognizing I think sometimes 385 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:37,080 Speaker 1: that I could care guilt, Like we're supposed to serve God, right, 386 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:42,320 Speaker 1: God didn't create us to be used up by everybody else, right, 387 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,800 Speaker 1: So I think recognizing like, Okay, God, you knew this 388 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:49,760 Speaker 1: overwhelm was coming. You knew this season was coming, So 389 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:52,320 Speaker 1: I'm gonna and you've already accounted for whatever it is 390 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,760 Speaker 1: your plan for me is, and it might not be 391 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,960 Speaker 1: this one thing. I might have to pivot here, like 392 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:02,280 Speaker 1: with the ministry that was grieved that, Like I grieved that, 393 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:06,160 Speaker 1: but recognizing God, You're bigger than that, and I have 394 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:09,520 Speaker 1: to trust you. I have to trust that you truly 395 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,880 Speaker 1: have a plan for me, that your plan truly is good, 396 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:14,240 Speaker 1: that you've accounted for what I'm struggling with right now, 397 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,640 Speaker 1: and that you're gonna show me a way out. And 398 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:20,919 Speaker 1: then there's a trust factor in telling because he it 399 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,960 Speaker 1: was very clear he called me to step away from 400 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:25,720 Speaker 1: the ministry, and it was very hard, not just because 401 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,320 Speaker 1: of what I shared, but I also felt like I 402 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,520 Speaker 1: was and this is my own which was false, right, 403 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:33,800 Speaker 1: Like it's a lie that I was believing that I 404 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,879 Speaker 1: was carrying everybody else's speaking and writing careers. And so 405 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:40,480 Speaker 1: if I were to lose the ministry, I'm letting everybody down. 406 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,240 Speaker 1: I'm sabotaging their life, like I have that much power. 407 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,480 Speaker 4: But all the time that. 408 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,400 Speaker 3: We put ourselves into an important cog in a will 409 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,280 Speaker 3: where we don't belong, it's all up to us. 410 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:57,440 Speaker 4: Why do we do that? It's I think it's human nature. 411 00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:00,320 Speaker 1: It is human and I think sometimes our culture as well, well, 412 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:05,800 Speaker 1: And I think having to recognize that God will make 413 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,840 Speaker 1: up the gaps and if it's something he really wants accomplished, 414 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,360 Speaker 1: He's going to take care of it. And he does 415 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,040 Speaker 1: have good planned for us elsewhere. I would like to 416 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:17,879 Speaker 1: shift a little because he started with David doing all 417 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,040 Speaker 1: these great things, right, and he's this warrior, and he 418 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,080 Speaker 1: did express overwhelm and so we're giving him that. But 419 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:26,240 Speaker 1: there was a time when he acted very uncharacteristic to himself. 420 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,280 Speaker 1: And and you know the time I'm talking about I suppose. 421 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:33,320 Speaker 3: Are you talking about he there's a couple of different ones. 422 00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,040 Speaker 3: He had numerous stress stressors through this whole thing. Are 423 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:39,600 Speaker 3: you talking about when he ran from and hid and 424 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:45,360 Speaker 3: played crazy? 425 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:46,639 Speaker 2: Oh wow? 426 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 1: Okay, So since you went there, I'm gonna well, here's 427 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,280 Speaker 1: what I spoke in the psalms that's connected with So 428 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,240 Speaker 1: I'm going to give a little what what Carol is 429 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,399 Speaker 1: talking about. He had one point where he hid in 430 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,959 Speaker 1: enemy territory, the very city of the giant he had 431 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:01,719 Speaker 1: killed the warrior. 432 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,000 Speaker 2: Here's that. 433 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,679 Speaker 1: That just tells you how overwhelmed he was, right, and 434 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:09,040 Speaker 1: he pretended to be insane with like spittle coming down 435 00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:14,280 Speaker 1: his beard like that is a humiliating experience. Directly directly 436 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,560 Speaker 1: follow that, he wrote this song where he said, basically, 437 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,960 Speaker 1: those who look to the Lord's Lord are radiant. Their 438 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,440 Speaker 1: faces never reflect shame or something like that. It's like, 439 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,800 Speaker 1: so I'm thirty four to five. Here's what that spoke 440 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:30,480 Speaker 1: to me. David did not have shame for his overwhelm 441 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,879 Speaker 1: and how he reacted because he was in a survival place. 442 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,800 Speaker 1: And so it was like, what I sense God's saying 443 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,920 Speaker 1: to me, all your behavior when you were overwhelmed. I'm 444 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,800 Speaker 1: not saying it was optimal. I'm not saying it led 445 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,879 Speaker 1: to the results I wanted. But I sensed God's saying 446 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:48,080 Speaker 1: to me, there's no shame there. There's no shame that 447 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:53,480 Speaker 1: you were trying to survive. It was too much. And 448 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,080 Speaker 1: so I think that's important cause there's no shame in 449 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:56,360 Speaker 1: Jesus Christ period. 450 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:57,280 Speaker 4: That's it. 451 00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:01,080 Speaker 3: That's exactly right. There's no condemnation. You were just struggling 452 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:06,920 Speaker 3: to get through. But David was not being very king like, right, Okay, 453 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:09,240 Speaker 3: I mean it was what he had to do to 454 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:10,440 Speaker 3: survive at the. 455 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,760 Speaker 1: Time, right when we don't know. Here's the thing we 456 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:16,240 Speaker 1: don't know. Did he pray and say Lord do you 457 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:19,000 Speaker 1: want me to go to Philistine territory? Or probably not, 458 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,520 Speaker 1: Like he probably just fled. And sometimes we're going to 459 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,159 Speaker 1: do that. We're going to find ourselves in a situation where, like, 460 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,960 Speaker 1: you know what, I didn't seek God's guidance here, But 461 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,120 Speaker 1: God is still faithful even in those moments, and we can. 462 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:31,960 Speaker 2: Learn from them. 463 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,280 Speaker 1: But actually, what I was really thinking of is when 464 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:40,560 Speaker 1: David wanted to assassinate an entire household. Do you know 465 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:44,359 Speaker 1: it was first Samuel twenty five, I think, so Abigail 466 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:45,920 Speaker 1: and Nabel. 467 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:49,840 Speaker 3: Yes, this was okay what they did. Back in those 468 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:53,400 Speaker 3: days there were wealthy farmers, but it was a culture 469 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:57,840 Speaker 3: where people would take your animals, where people would you. 470 00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:59,320 Speaker 4: Had to protect your assets. 471 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:03,560 Speaker 3: What David did with his men is he set himself 472 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:08,679 Speaker 3: up to guard Abigail and her husband's property so that 473 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:12,159 Speaker 3: people wouldn't steal. This is a common practice. It's not 474 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,360 Speaker 3: something we have now, so it's kind of hard to understand. 475 00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 3: But he set himself up as a protector with his men, 476 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:21,879 Speaker 3: and so they went to the home Abigail's husband and 477 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,480 Speaker 3: they're like, okay, we've done this for you can you 478 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:28,639 Speaker 3: feed us? Remember there's no restaurants, there's no hotels, you know. 479 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:32,040 Speaker 3: So they wanted sustenance for doing a good deed that 480 00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:35,399 Speaker 3: that they thought they could do. And so Abigail's husband 481 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,439 Speaker 3: whose name, the husband's name means fool, Well you're to 482 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,280 Speaker 3: find out later in scripture, he's like, who are you? 483 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,840 Speaker 3: I didn't ask you to do this. I'm fine by myself. 484 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:49,919 Speaker 3: I'm not feeding anyone. He totally disrespected David and his troops. 485 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,879 Speaker 3: He went against culture. He thought he was higher and 486 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,800 Speaker 3: mightier than he ever should be. And this displeased David 487 00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:57,520 Speaker 3: just a little bit. 488 00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:58,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a little bit. 489 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:03,639 Speaker 3: They said, all right, men, get on your horses, we 490 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:04,600 Speaker 3: ride at dawn. 491 00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:05,800 Speaker 4: We're taking him out. 492 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,000 Speaker 3: And so he was ready to go destroy the whole 493 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,600 Speaker 3: household for disrespecting him. 494 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,480 Speaker 2: For one man's one man disrespecting him. 495 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:18,560 Speaker 3: Yes, exactly, that the man was being a fool. In scripture, 496 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,040 Speaker 3: you didn't want to go down like that and be 497 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:23,280 Speaker 3: noted like that. So yes, I think David was feeling 498 00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:26,119 Speaker 3: overwhelmed that that's not something you should do, that's against 499 00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:27,080 Speaker 3: what God would want. 500 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:28,320 Speaker 4: David knew that. 501 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:32,959 Speaker 1: Right, right, And I think yeah, and I think if 502 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,119 Speaker 1: you look at the point we talked a little bit, 503 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,639 Speaker 1: so I'll just go quickly. But so he had fled 504 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,720 Speaker 1: his home, He lost his safe place, his familiarity, his comfort, 505 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:41,280 Speaker 1: his friends. 506 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,520 Speaker 2: He was hiding in caves. This went on for like 507 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,520 Speaker 2: a decade or a decade and a half. 508 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:48,800 Speaker 1: He at one point he sought help from a priest 509 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,920 Speaker 1: in an area called Nod and the priest helped him, 510 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:55,240 Speaker 1: and so one of Saul's men, the guy who was 511 00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:58,720 Speaker 1: trying to kill him, found out, and they assassinated everybody 512 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:02,160 Speaker 1: in that town, women, children, and the priest, and David 513 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:05,359 Speaker 1: felt the weight of that. And then Samuel, so he 514 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,320 Speaker 1: fought to blame for all of these deaths, which you 515 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:12,400 Speaker 1: can just imagine. And then Samuel, the prophet, the prominent 516 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:15,320 Speaker 1: prophet at the time who had anointed David and really 517 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:19,080 Speaker 1: kind of spoken calling into his life, he had recently passed. 518 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:24,280 Speaker 1: So if you look at from an emotional capacity perspective, 519 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,119 Speaker 1: it was just too much. And it went on for 520 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:31,560 Speaker 1: a long time. And so by the time he met Neayball, 521 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:35,200 Speaker 1: he wasn't resilient. In that moment, he wasn't strong, and 522 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:36,440 Speaker 1: in that moment. 523 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:39,320 Speaker 3: He was done, and he was ready to kill them all. 524 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:42,920 Speaker 3: So that's the thing that makes us act unlike stress 525 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:46,159 Speaker 3: just does that when you reach your emotional capacity, you 526 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:49,359 Speaker 3: don't act like yourself. This man, David was supposed to 527 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,680 Speaker 3: be king, and that was not very king, white. 528 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:54,080 Speaker 1: Behaving and a man after God's own heart did. 529 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,120 Speaker 3: And he went down into the Bible as that. Let 530 00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,920 Speaker 3: the record show he does find sense. But you don't 531 00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:02,560 Speaker 3: act like yourself when you're pushed over the edge like that. 532 00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:06,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, So what are some ways as we close out? 533 00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:07,800 Speaker 2: What are some ways. 534 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:11,879 Speaker 1: That we can reduce We talked about some so you 535 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:15,280 Speaker 1: talked about physical exercise, things that occupy your brain. 536 00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:15,960 Speaker 2: I like that. 537 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:19,440 Speaker 1: Here's one thing I want to I'm learning. I learned 538 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:21,560 Speaker 1: so many spiritual lessons from my dog, and so many 539 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,479 Speaker 1: like parenting all that. But I read somewhere, because we're 540 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,520 Speaker 1: trying to teach her not to bark, because we travel 541 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,359 Speaker 1: that we bring her with us, and nobody sleeps in 542 00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:34,119 Speaker 1: the hotel. When she but and when we try to 543 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:38,000 Speaker 1: correct her, that only makes the barking escalate because it 544 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:41,120 Speaker 1: signals to her brain fear, fear, fear, fear. They're something's wrong, 545 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,000 Speaker 1: something's wrong. And something I read how if you keep 546 00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:46,760 Speaker 1: them calm throughout the day, they bark less later. Like 547 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,560 Speaker 1: it's basically like all these little if you've got the 548 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,639 Speaker 1: more stuff they have coming on, the more they just 549 00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:56,480 Speaker 1: have this natural anxiety, like low writing. So looking at 550 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,280 Speaker 1: that in our world, what can we get rid of 551 00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:03,200 Speaker 1: that's causing anxiety. I look like I'm on social media 552 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:04,919 Speaker 1: a lot because I post a lot, but I actually 553 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,160 Speaker 1: do a lot through a program, and so I'm really 554 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:09,320 Speaker 1: not on social because it's too much for me. There's 555 00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:12,320 Speaker 1: too much hostility, there's too much arguing, there's too much pain. 556 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,119 Speaker 1: I hate, but I mean it's just it's pain I 557 00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:18,080 Speaker 1: can't deal with, right, Like I'm hearing about starving. 558 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:20,240 Speaker 2: Children and you know, I mean it's just too much. 559 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:21,000 Speaker 2: That's for me. 560 00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:23,400 Speaker 1: That's one way is like, Okay, these are the things 561 00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:29,119 Speaker 1: that I know hit me hard emotionally, and these are 562 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:31,920 Speaker 1: the things that are easy for me to remove. 563 00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:34,000 Speaker 2: So I mean, for me, that kind of starts there. 564 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,159 Speaker 2: I like your emphasis on sleep. 565 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:37,720 Speaker 1: What would you say to those who are like they're 566 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:40,920 Speaker 1: in so much overwhelming anxiety that their sleep is challenged. 567 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,440 Speaker 3: You've got to get to a point. Maybe there's many 568 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:47,400 Speaker 3: different ways You've got to find out the cause. Why 569 00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:50,000 Speaker 3: are you not sleeping? Is it menopause and you can't 570 00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:52,560 Speaker 3: help it. Is it stress because you couldn't get done 571 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:54,720 Speaker 3: during the day which you needed to get done. Is 572 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,160 Speaker 3: it a conversation that you need to have with someone 573 00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:00,000 Speaker 3: because you are at odds with each other. 574 00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:01,120 Speaker 4: Two things. 575 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:04,760 Speaker 3: Never isolate. You've got to have somebody that you can 576 00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:07,160 Speaker 3: talk to. You cannot get stuck up in your head. 577 00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:09,800 Speaker 3: Do things to get out of your head so that 578 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:13,120 Speaker 3: you can sleep, and don't overschedule. But we do it 579 00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:16,160 Speaker 3: to ourselves trying to be all that we can be, 580 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 3: and we overschedule and we can't think, we can't go deep, 581 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:24,520 Speaker 3: we can't focus, we don't make time for God, and 582 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,880 Speaker 3: then we're not leaning on him. We're trying self sufficiency. 583 00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:31,000 Speaker 3: We're trying to do it all by ourselves, and we're 584 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:32,480 Speaker 3: just piling more and more and more. 585 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:36,400 Speaker 1: You've talked about Yeah, yeah, one something I've noticed. I'm 586 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:39,800 Speaker 1: watching my husband. He's got a health coach, and so 587 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:44,320 Speaker 1: the health coach is having him breathe so many times 588 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:49,560 Speaker 1: during the day, and he is finding his sleep drastically 589 00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:52,000 Speaker 1: has improved. And I think it's back that to that. 590 00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:54,840 Speaker 1: You know, the more we can do to calm ourselves 591 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,719 Speaker 1: throughout the day, whether it's just pausing in God's presence, 592 00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:02,920 Speaker 1: listening to praise music, dancing to it, keeps it from building, building, 593 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:06,200 Speaker 1: building building. We might still have all of this emotional overwhelm, 594 00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:09,080 Speaker 1: but I feel like it just gives us those moments 595 00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:09,840 Speaker 1: of grounding. 596 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:12,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, I agree. 597 00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:15,600 Speaker 3: And you know what, sometime we're just going to blow it. 598 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, true, we all have, and we. 599 00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:20,520 Speaker 4: Got to remember there's grace. 600 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, blow it if we don't keep bulking it and 601 00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:27,040 Speaker 3: blowing it and blowing it and have to attend to something. Yeah, 602 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,680 Speaker 3: make it something you can learn from. 603 00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:30,160 Speaker 2: Right. 604 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,680 Speaker 1: I like that, Like we can look at it later 605 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:35,760 Speaker 1: and say, because sometimes we don't recognize when things are 606 00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:38,840 Speaker 1: like triggering us or overwhelming us and looking back and like, 607 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,640 Speaker 1: okay that not not looking back from a place of shame. 608 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,920 Speaker 2: That doesn't help anybody, right, Not like I should have. 609 00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:44,320 Speaker 2: I should have. 610 00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:46,440 Speaker 1: I could have been like, Okay, what was going on? 611 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:49,560 Speaker 1: Why did I respond this way? What do I want 612 00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,480 Speaker 1: to do differently? And I think here's a big one 613 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:56,360 Speaker 1: that I'm learning And you had referenced pushing through does 614 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,120 Speaker 1: not help us. We think we can do it, but 615 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:02,560 Speaker 1: really putting ourselves. We want to be our best selves 616 00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:05,920 Speaker 1: in every situation and pushing through. I wonder and this 617 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,800 Speaker 1: might be a future episode practicing with a safe person 618 00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:16,520 Speaker 1: saying no, we can market that, yeah, and intentionally doing 619 00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:18,520 Speaker 1: things that bring us joy. I would probably say those 620 00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:23,160 Speaker 1: are the things that can and maybe just like I think, 621 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,560 Speaker 1: sometimes just saying tell me if this helps you. But 622 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:29,960 Speaker 1: I am overwhelmed right now. This is a lot. This 623 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:36,000 Speaker 1: hurts is that I feel anxious and just allowing. 624 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,680 Speaker 3: That, naming it, That's one of the things that has 625 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,760 Speaker 3: been most helpful for me, since I can't name my 626 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:47,160 Speaker 3: emotions always very easily what I'm feeling, Try to name it, 627 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:50,200 Speaker 3: Try to name it, explore that somebody else like you. 628 00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:51,080 Speaker 4: Were talking about. 629 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:53,880 Speaker 3: But if you can name it, it becomes real, not 630 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,760 Speaker 3: just this concept in your head that has power over you. 631 00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:57,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. 632 00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,479 Speaker 1: I like that. I also say like it doesn't always 633 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:04,320 Speaker 1: take a lot of time to connect in God's presence, 634 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:09,080 Speaker 1: but the benefits, like sometimes just we can just pause, 635 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,240 Speaker 1: like at our desk for a few minutes and just 636 00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:15,520 Speaker 1: close our eyes and practice breathing from our diaphragm deep breast, slow, 637 00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:19,000 Speaker 1: deep breast, and just say, Lord, I know you're here, 638 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:24,320 Speaker 1: help me sense your presence, call me and practicing that 639 00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:26,280 Speaker 1: because it's not we won't always feel it right away 640 00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:29,240 Speaker 1: right sure, But I think sometimes we think like we 641 00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:31,560 Speaker 1: have to go on this big spiritual retreat to connect 642 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:35,000 Speaker 1: with God, and just pausing in the moment can really 643 00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:35,640 Speaker 1: help a lot. 644 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,719 Speaker 3: Definitely. One last one that I'd like to add that 645 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:40,920 Speaker 3: I am not good at doing every day, but every 646 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:44,600 Speaker 3: time I do do it, my day is better. When 647 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,640 Speaker 3: you wake up, try to be still for just a 648 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:51,720 Speaker 3: minute and connect with God and just say, what do 649 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:55,120 Speaker 3: you have for me today? I know what I need 650 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,080 Speaker 3: to do. Is that what you would have me do? 651 00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:02,840 Speaker 3: Nice kind of surrender your day to him and magically, Jennifer, 652 00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:07,480 Speaker 3: sometimes my day lengthens and I can get everything to do. 653 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:10,640 Speaker 1: When you don't pick your agenda backup and your pen 654 00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:14,680 Speaker 1: backup from God. But I also wonder does that give 655 00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:17,800 Speaker 1: you a sense of peace that you're like, Okay, if 656 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,959 Speaker 1: I'm following what God wants, He's going to take care 657 00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:20,680 Speaker 1: of everything else. 658 00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:24,520 Speaker 3: And that's it, and it gets done the things that 659 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:26,400 Speaker 3: need to be done. Now, I got to do my part. 660 00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:29,640 Speaker 3: I can't just sit on the couch. I got to 661 00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:34,640 Speaker 3: do my part, but the priority changes for me, you know, 662 00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:38,000 Speaker 3: and I don't feel like I'm doing it all by myself. 663 00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:39,080 Speaker 4: I have some support. 664 00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:43,560 Speaker 1: I love that this has been such a great conversation 665 00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:49,760 Speaker 1: and such an important topic. I think I agree. Thank you, yeah, well, 666 00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:52,000 Speaker 1: to our listeners, thank you for listening. We hope that 667 00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:54,640 Speaker 1: this encouraged you and helped you feel a little less alone, 668 00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:57,479 Speaker 1: gave you some practical tools. If you haven't already done so, 669 00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:00,120 Speaker 1: we encourage you to subscribe to this podcast and you 670 00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:03,080 Speaker 1: won't miss a single episode. Make sure to rate it 671 00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:06,040 Speaker 1: and share your reviews, share it with your friends. We 672 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,840 Speaker 1: especially want those who are going through really difficult times 673 00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:12,719 Speaker 1: to get this content. And until next time, may you 674 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:40,880 Speaker 1: live as one who has truly been set free.