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Speaker 1: Life audio. I saw a lot of men of the

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Speaker 1: church as being these kind of like touchy feely, overly

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Speaker 1: emotional weak man that I don't want to be like.

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Speaker 1: Men need to feel like they are a part of something,

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Speaker 1: that they're building something. Before God even gave us Eve,

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Speaker 1: he gave us a task and a purpose. I always

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Speaker 1: talk about five categories spiritual, emotional, physical, intellectual profession.

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Speaker 2: What do I need to be doing to help these

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Speaker 2: young men grow into the men that God created them

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Speaker 2: to be.

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Speaker 1: Let's be super controversial. You're supposed to be the patriarch.

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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to the March or Die Show today.

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Speaker 2: Glad to have you joining us. This is the show

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Speaker 2: where I do my best, and that's all I can

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Speaker 2: promise is that I will do my best to give

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Speaker 2: you both the perspectives and principles you need to march

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Speaker 2: when it would be easier to stay where you are

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Speaker 2: and I and I'm a man super excited to have

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Speaker 2: the guests on that we have today, someone that I've

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Speaker 2: been following for a long time and just excited to

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Speaker 2: have this conversation. And uh, if nothing else comes out

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Speaker 2: of this podcast episode, Uh, and you're not already following

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Speaker 2: Nick fretis you need to and if that's all you

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Speaker 2: get out of this, then then then that's great. Then

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Speaker 2: I've done my job. But Nick, thanks for joining me. Man,

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Speaker 2: really really appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, absolutely my pleasure. Thanks for having me on.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's an honor to talk to you. And you

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Speaker 2: are one of the guys who, over the last several years,

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Speaker 2: has i'll say, stood up for or stood in the

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Speaker 2: gap for our country. Certainly serve our country as a

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Speaker 2: Green Beret. You have served in in politics, but you've

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Speaker 2: been a big voice for traditional American values and what

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Speaker 2: that means as a Christian, and that's been very, very

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Speaker 2: important and helpful. I think what has been probably more

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Speaker 2: meaningful to me personally has been your conversation around masculinity.

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Speaker 2: But you talk a lot about mentorship, and so I

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Speaker 2: want to talk about that a little bit today too,

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Speaker 2: and and just what we can do as I hate

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Speaker 2: to put either of us in this category, but older men.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, middle aged guys raced it. I remember the first

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Speaker 1: time one of my buddies from the military that I

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Speaker 1: served with made the rank of sergeant major and I

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Speaker 1: was like I had gotten out. I got out of

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Speaker 1: eleven years and he said, oh, yeah, I'm just making

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Speaker 1: sergeant major. I'm like, no, no, sergeant majors are old.

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Speaker 1: We're not old. We're young, spry bucks. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I went to a I went to a reunion for

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Speaker 2: first time fifth Marines I served with in Iraq, and

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Speaker 2: it was you know, we're part of the push that

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Speaker 2: was two thousand and three. So it was twenty year reunion,

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Speaker 2: which was a couple of years ago, right, and so

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Speaker 2: I'm meeting the guys who stayed in and yeah, sergeant major,

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Speaker 2: like one of my buddies who was a lieutenant with me.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, what are you doing. He's like, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: was just promoted to colonel. I'm like, what do you

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Speaker 2: mean you were just what does that mean? How is

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Speaker 2: that possible? You're like, no, No, that's where we are. Now,

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Speaker 2: that's where we are.

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Speaker 1: They're promoting twenty year olds these days. No, man eight, Now.

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Speaker 2: That's a wild My old company commander, who's a captain

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Speaker 2: when I when I was a second lieutenant, is now

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Speaker 2: a lieutenant general. I'm like, this is wild. Like I

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Speaker 2: don't even know how this happens, but anyhow, to that point,

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Speaker 2: a lot of a lot of age, a lot of experience,

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Speaker 2: and and I do believe we have a responsibility to

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Speaker 2: to help young men. But before we get there, I'd

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Speaker 2: love to hear your faith story. I've heard you talk

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Speaker 2: about Christianity, and you know that, but when did you

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Speaker 2: become a Christian? And and and what was kind of

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Speaker 2: that journey like for you?

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Speaker 1: Man, it is hard to remember a time where I

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Speaker 1: wanted to consider myself a Christian. So my even my

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Speaker 1: mom and dad got divorced when I was three and

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Speaker 1: a half or so, and so I'd spend the I'd

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Speaker 1: spen the school years with my mom. I'd spend the

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Speaker 1: summers with my dad, and so with my mom, I

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Speaker 1: would go to Protestant services. With my dad, we go

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Speaker 1: to Catholic Mass every once in a while. And so

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Speaker 1: I always grew up in this idea of God being real,

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Speaker 1: that Jesus Christ being his son, the Salvation message, understood

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Speaker 1: all of it and believed it and always consider myself

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Speaker 1: a Christian. Now, I will say this, when I first

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Speaker 1: went into the military. So I go into the military.

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Speaker 1: I'm an infantryman with the eighty second Airborne Division, and

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Speaker 1: I decided to marry my high school sweetheart, and so

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Speaker 1: we get married less than a year out of high

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Speaker 1: school and she moves on the other side of the

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Speaker 1: country with me at Fort brag, North Carolina, And you

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Speaker 1: would not have I mean in the sense that maybe

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Speaker 1: there was other guys doing worse stuff than me. Sure,

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Speaker 1: but I wasn't living like a real Christian. I wasn't

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Speaker 1: living like I actually really believed it. It really wasn't

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Speaker 1: until I got into Special Forces that I actually started

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Speaker 1: to kind of rEFInd my faith in a very serious way.

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Speaker 1: And there was a reason why I'd kind of not

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Speaker 1: walked away from it, but wasn't a let to be

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Speaker 1: active my life. And part of it was because is

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Speaker 1: I saw a lot of church, and I saw a

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Speaker 1: lot of men in the church as being these kind

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Speaker 1: of like touchy feely, overly emotional weak men that I

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Speaker 1: didn't want to be like. So I respected the truth

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Speaker 1: of the Bible, respected that it had authority. I just

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Speaker 1: didn't want to be like a lot of the people

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Speaker 1: that I saw within the church, right, which is a

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Speaker 1: crappy excuse, but I'll get in more of that. What

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Speaker 1: changed was a couple of things. One had a neighbor

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Speaker 1: named Anthony Brown, great guy Anthony, and Janelle. We love

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Speaker 1: him to death. He was a strong guy. He was

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Speaker 1: a strong like man's man, you know, like been in

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Speaker 1: the military, been arranged a regiment, electrician, you know, owned

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Speaker 1: his own business, but just a no nonsense dude like

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Speaker 1: this is the sort of guy that I could have

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Speaker 1: a good theological discussion with and know he would have

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Speaker 1: my back in a fight. Right And that was say

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Speaker 1: what you want. That was important to me. That was important,

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Speaker 1: and I think it should be important. But I'll get

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Speaker 1: into that a minute. The other thing was a team

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Speaker 1: leader I had named Ryan Nanaber, who was an outstanding operator,

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Speaker 1: great special Forces operating, very debout Christian. He was a

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Speaker 1: little bit more quiet, a little bit more introverted, but

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Speaker 1: just very very strong in his faith in what he believed.

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Speaker 1: And when he spoke, you listened because he wasn't the

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Speaker 1: type to prattle on like me, right Like, when he

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Speaker 1: said something, it was very deliberate. There was another gentleman

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Speaker 1: that I met, and then there was so those two guys,

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Speaker 1: good guys, strong guys, strong in their faith, lived it out.

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Speaker 1: I could see it in the way that they conducted

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Speaker 1: themselves personally, professionally, and in their families. It was another

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Speaker 1: guy who I feel horrible because I can't remember his name.

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Speaker 1: We were in the Special Forces eighteen Fox course together,

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Speaker 1: and more and more we started to get into these

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Speaker 1: debates with other with instructors and with other students in

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Speaker 1: the class defending Christianity because again, I still have this

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Speaker 1: intellectual conviction that this was real and I liked to debate.

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Speaker 1: And he is the first one that said, Nick, you

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Speaker 1: need to get into Christian apologetics. And I remember saying

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Speaker 1: what's that, Like, what's apologetics? And he's like, Oh, it's

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Speaker 1: creating an intellectual defense for your faith. That was also

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Speaker 1: a game changing moment for me. So two things that

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Speaker 1: were game changers. One was watching strong men that I

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Speaker 1: respect it live out their faith in a very effective way.

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Speaker 1: The other was someone finally properly introducing into the intellectual

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Speaker 1: grounding of my faith all of a sudden, Christianity wasn't

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Speaker 1: just a feeling, It wasn't just something you were supposed

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Speaker 1: to do because it was a cultural thing and that's

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Speaker 1: who we are. This was true because it's true when

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Speaker 1: you start to recognize, oh, this is this is true, true,

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Speaker 1: not convenient to believe, true, not not you know, from

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Speaker 1: a utilitarians perspective, true this is like no kidding the truth.

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Speaker 1: That really changed the dynamic for me, and I learned

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Speaker 1: later it's the reason why God says, love the Lord

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Speaker 1: R God with all of your heart, with all of

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Speaker 1: your mind, with all of your soul, with all of

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Speaker 1: your strength. It's because he wants a complete relationship. He

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Speaker 1: doesn't want this. He doesn't want this partial relationship where

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Speaker 1: you treat God like a fad diet or a best

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Speaker 1: friend that you call when you're upset or you're sad.

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Speaker 1: And he doesn't want this relationship where you just have

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Speaker 1: an intellectual conviction that he's there, but there's no interaction.

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Speaker 1: And he doesn't want to weak faith where it's like, Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: something I believe, but I don't talk about it because

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Speaker 1: that's private. No, he wants a bold relationship. And when

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Speaker 1: you have a bold relationship with someone that you're proud of,

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Speaker 1: that you care about, that's important to you. It's something

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Speaker 1: that people can recognize in you. People know I love

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Speaker 1: to be a husband. Why because I love it. I'm

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Speaker 1: proud of my wife. People know I love to be

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Speaker 1: a father. Why because I love it. I'm proud of

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Speaker 1: my children. And I want people to know that I'm

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Speaker 1: a Christian. Why because I love and I'm proud of

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Speaker 1: the God who created me, who redeemed me, and who

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Speaker 1: is with me every day and every step of my life.

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Speaker 2: How did that realization you go through that process, How

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Speaker 2: did that realization change practically for you, how you lived,

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Speaker 2: how you interacted with your wife, how you how you

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Speaker 2: how you served. And for people that haven't served in

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Speaker 2: the military, and I do consider the army a branch

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Speaker 2: of the military. It's not it's not the Marine Corps,

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Speaker 2: but it's it's it's adjacent, and so you also served

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Speaker 2: in the military. And for people who didn't.

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Speaker 1: For people who didn't like the Coast Guard like.

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Speaker 2: Some of those other adjacent, adjacent branches, it's it's hard

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Speaker 2: for people to contextualize, like how can you be a Christian?

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Speaker 2: I get this question. I have this question from parents

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Speaker 2: a lot. Actually, yeah, you know, my son was raised

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Speaker 2: in church, and I hear all these terrible stories about

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Speaker 2: what happens when you leave church. And I mean, that's

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Speaker 2: in a whole other podcast. I think that's a parent

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Speaker 2: problem and a church problem, not a military problem. But

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Speaker 2: that being said, you came through that process and these

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Speaker 2: things happened. How did that change how you even functioned

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Speaker 2: as a as a soldier and all the other things

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Speaker 2: that you did in your life, Like practically, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: We started taking church more seriously because it used to

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Speaker 1: be the church was just another thing I had to

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Speaker 1: do when I was already tired, because you know, the

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Speaker 1: first ten years of my marriage, I spent five years

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Speaker 1: of the gone between combat deployments, training deployments, and special forces.

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Speaker 1: We do things called well, at that time, it was

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Speaker 1: called joint Combined Exercise training, where you go to Korea

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Speaker 1: for six months and you train the Korean Special Missions Group,

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Speaker 1: and you go to Bangladesh for seven or sorry six

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Speaker 1: weeks and you go to like Bangladesh for six weeks

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Speaker 1: and you train the Bangladeshi border guards. And so we

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Speaker 1: were constantly gone. We're constantly away, and so a lot

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Speaker 1: of it was that it had to do with my

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Speaker 1: prayer life, taking my prayer life more seriously, taking Bible

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Speaker 1: reading more seriously, going to church, and like the accountability

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Speaker 1: that actually comes from being in the body of believers,

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Speaker 1: not just going to church, but serving. The other thing

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Speaker 1: too that was important was what I would actually consume

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Speaker 1: as far as again, Christian apologetics were great because it

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Speaker 1: was going through this process of really getting to understand

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Speaker 1: God has created order, his purpose, the logic behind it,

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Speaker 1: why it works, all of those things change. It became

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Speaker 1: a far more integrated part of my life, my day.

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Speaker 1: And so that also changed the way that you think

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Speaker 1: about your role as a husband and a father because

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Speaker 1: one of the things I tell husbands a lot, dad's

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Speaker 1: a lot is as men, we expect to go through

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Speaker 1: training or a process whereby we earned a credential or

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Speaker 1: certification or rank, and at that point, now we can lead.

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Speaker 1: Now we can lead because we've done something to prove

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Speaker 1: that we deserve to be here. And that makes sense

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Speaker 1: to us because that does make sense for a lot

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Speaker 1: of things. What you need to understand about being a

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Speaker 1: husband or a father is God gives you the authority

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Speaker 1: the moment you say I do. God gives you the

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Speaker 1: authority the moment your wife gets pregnant with your child.

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Speaker 1: And it's important for me to understand that we need

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Speaker 1: to embrace that authority. Now. That means we should train,

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Speaker 1: we should study, we should practice, we should do all

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Speaker 1: the things necessarily become really really good at it. But

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Speaker 1: I see someone where they treat it as almost like

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Speaker 1: that's an authority they can choose to accept or not,

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Speaker 1: and what they need to understand is why you can't.

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Speaker 1: You can choose to do something with it or do

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Speaker 1: nothing with it, but doing nothing is still doing something right.

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Speaker 1: It's absconding on your responsibility. And so that was a

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Speaker 1: big part that was important for me to understand, is

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Speaker 1: that I had the responsibility to be the spiritual leader

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Speaker 1: of my household, and even if I didn't feel adequately

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Speaker 1: prepared for it, that didn't mean it wasn't my responsibility.

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Speaker 1: So I had to start training, I had to start

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Speaker 1: embracing it and just recognize it for what it is.

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Speaker 1: And it's amazing how when you actually take the authority

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Speaker 1: God gives you, he blesses that as well. Again, one

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Speaker 1: of the greatest one of my greatest things that I

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Speaker 1: appreciate God for multitude of things, one of the greatest

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Speaker 1: ones is how much he blesses imperfect yet faithful as.

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Speaker 2: Yep, yeah, that's good. I've had this conversation recently with

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Speaker 2: people and made a statement similar. One of the craziest

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Speaker 2: things about God to me is that through scripture, he

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Speaker 2: tells us what to do how to do it, and

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Speaker 2: that could be enough, he's God. We're not God. Our

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Speaker 2: responsibility is to do what he tells us to do. However,

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Speaker 2: he also blesses us when we do what he tells

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Speaker 2: us to do, and that is wild. I mean, that's

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Speaker 2: not something anyone, you know, any human leader, would ever do. Right.

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Speaker 2: It's even as a dad, I look at my kids

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Speaker 2: sometimes I'm like, yeah, good job doing what you're supposed

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Speaker 2: to do. Like, congratulations, you did what you're supposed to do.

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Speaker 2: But God, as a heavenly father, tells us what to

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Speaker 2: do and then blesses us in the process, and that's

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Speaker 2: just what It is huge.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's also understanding that. You know, I

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Speaker 1: had a good friend of mine, Josh McPherson, who's a pastor,

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Speaker 1: and I was talking to him it's about something. At

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Speaker 1: one point I said, you know, Josh, I really struggle

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Speaker 1: with this idea that you know, Yeah, I know God

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Speaker 1: loves me and I know all this other stuff, but

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Speaker 1: I always assume that whenever there's an option before me,

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Speaker 1: I have to pick the one that sucks in order

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Speaker 1: to be truly faithful, right. And Josh is like, you know, Nick,

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Speaker 1: I I I'm not saying I know you super well

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Speaker 1: but I know you well enough to know you seem

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Speaker 1: like a pretty good father. I'm like, well, thank you, Josh,

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Speaker 1: I appreciate this. Do you want good things for your kids?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: And I said, well yeah, he goes cool, You're not

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Speaker 1: a better father than God. I'm like, Okay, that's I

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Speaker 1: get it. I get it. It's fun. But it's true,

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Speaker 1: like God didn't just create us as some like elaborate

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Speaker 1: cosmic ant farm that he wanted to watch. The perfect

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Speaker 1: conditions in which God created us was the garden, where

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Speaker 1: he gave us meaning, identity, purpose, a task, a helper,

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Speaker 1: and then he gave us instructions, right, tend the garden,

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Speaker 1: go out, take dominion, be fruitful, be multiply. God created

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Speaker 1: a family at the very start of all this that

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Speaker 1: he wants us to be, that he wants us to

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Speaker 1: be a part of. And so when we start to

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Speaker 1: realize that he does want good things for us, that

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Speaker 1: doesn't mean that we're always going to get good things,

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Speaker 1: especially when we're disobedient. It could we live in a

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Speaker 1: fallen world and so even sometimes doing the right thing

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Speaker 1: will result in punishment. But it's amazing how when I

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Speaker 1: reoriented my life toward obedience, to God as opposed toward

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Speaker 1: coming up with certain goals that I had to attain.

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Speaker 1: Right when it was obedience, there was a peace, a joy,

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Speaker 1: and a purpose in that they just cannot be taken away.

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Speaker 1: I think that's why God calls it the peace which

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Speaker 1: surpasses all understanding. Because peace, when everything's going great and

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Speaker 1: you're healthy, and you're healthy and you're prosperous, everyone understands

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Speaker 1: why you have peace it's going well, right, But when

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Speaker 1: you have peace that surpasses all understanding, it means that

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Speaker 1: even when those things aren't present, doesn't phase you. And

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Speaker 1: I think that's an important part of that promise.

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Speaker 2: Man, that's good. One of my personal struggles, and I've

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Speaker 2: struggled with this since I was a kid. I think

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Speaker 2: it's probably one of the reasons I ended up in

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Speaker 2: the Marine Corps and have done some of the other

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Speaker 2: things I've done in my life. Is just inherently I'm

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Speaker 2: very duty driven, right, and so like, if there's a

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Speaker 2: job to do, we're going to do the job. It

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Speaker 2: doesn't matter how good or bad it is. I don't

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Speaker 2: need to enjoy this.

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Speaker 1: Well.

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Speaker 2: I have grown up and taken that into my Christian life,

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Speaker 2: and a lot of other things. And it's a miserable

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Speaker 2: way to live, if I'm being honest, because you don't

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Speaker 2: have joy. So you're doing what God wants you to do,

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Speaker 2: but you're doing it out of this like put your

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Speaker 2: head down and grind harder than everyone else. And this

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Speaker 2: is terrible and that's man, that's not what God's called

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Speaker 2: us too. But I think a lot of people end

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Speaker 2: up there and go, I hate this and I'm just

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Speaker 2: not going to do this anymore.

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Speaker 1: Well, And that's part of the problem too, when you

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Speaker 1: look at when you look at your relationship with God

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Speaker 1: is nothing more than a series of tasks or us

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Speaker 1: and don'ts that you're supposed to engage in as opposed

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Speaker 1: to a relationship. You know, when I do when I

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Speaker 1: do nice things, when I do difficult things for my wife,

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Speaker 1: it's not as if I'm sitting there just begrudgingly doing

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Speaker 1: another sometimes, right, but oh, there are those moments, There

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Speaker 1: are those moments, right, But a lot of times I

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Speaker 1: love the fact that we have this relationship where we

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Speaker 1: do things for each other, to include difficult things for

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Speaker 1: each other, and we show gratitude and appreciation to one another.

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Speaker 1: And I think in many respects it's the same way

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Speaker 1: with God. Whether there's difficult things that sometimes you're called

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Speaker 1: to go through. But I have learned the hard way

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Speaker 1: that a lot of the things that He call us into,

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Speaker 1: he's preparing us for something that's bigger, that's better. But

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Speaker 1: you have to go through something, you have to go

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Speaker 1: through something that mentally prepares you for that. And a

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Speaker 1: big part of what mentally prepares you for that is trust.

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Speaker 1: And so now whenever I'm going through something where I

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Speaker 1: don't quite understand it, like if I'm confident, then I'm

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Speaker 1: not screwing something up because of something I'm doing. If

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Speaker 1: I'm confident, like no, God called me to this and

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Speaker 1: I'm doing it, And now there's well. First of all,

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Speaker 1: when there's persecution, I'm like, oh, thank God, thank God,

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Speaker 1: I'm being persecuted because Christ promised me I would be

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Speaker 1: persecuted for his name, and he says, I'm blessed when

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Speaker 1: I'm persecuted for his name. So God forbid, I go

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Speaker 1: throughout my entire life never being persecuted. It for my faith.

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Speaker 1: But when things are going poorly and I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm checking myself. Am I doing something wrong? And I'm off,

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Speaker 1: am I being selfish? Am I being whatever? And when

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Speaker 1: it's like when I can honestly say no, that's not it,

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Speaker 1: it's like, oh, oh, I'm going through something to prepare

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Speaker 1: me for something else. And every time that's happened, there

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Speaker 1: has been something that I've taken from that that's been

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Speaker 1: formative for my life. So now when you start to

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Speaker 1: expect it, it's like, oh, okay, cool, doesn't this suck? Yeah? Little,

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Speaker 1: but I have faith. I have trust. Then on the

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Speaker 1: other side of this, there is a reason for it.

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Speaker 1: There's meaning behind it, and man, that is a that

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Speaker 1: is a great feeling to have. That is a great

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Speaker 1: conviction to have.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. So it's a long road to

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Speaker 2: get there, or it has been for me at least.

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Speaker 2: And it's crazy because I can preach and teach and

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Speaker 2: jump up and down about grace and and all the

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Speaker 2: rest of it and then like go home and like

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Speaker 2: I gotta do this. It's all on me. Yeah, And

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Speaker 2: it's just ridiculous when that, you know, kind of happens.

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Speaker 2: But then you know, and I think having kids and

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Speaker 2: this this kind of leads into this conversation on raising

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Speaker 2: men and influencing young men, having kids changes a lot

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Speaker 2: of how you look at even those things, or it

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Speaker 2: has for me, because I don't want my kids to

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Speaker 2: kind of bear that, you know, you have to do

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Speaker 2: this for God to love you, or for God to

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Speaker 2: appreciate you, or church and faith and pursuing God and Christianity,

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Speaker 2: it's a burden to be born. I want it to

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Speaker 2: be a joyful thing, and I want it to be

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Speaker 2: something that they appreciate and that they grow up loving

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Speaker 2: and then teaching to my grandkids and then seeing that continue.

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Speaker 2: But we have given an impression, I think, to young

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Speaker 2: people that maybe faith is optional and or it's something

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Speaker 2: you know, particularly young men. And I think we're seeing

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Speaker 2: a bit of a change in this. I don't know,

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Speaker 2: young men trying to ask the question where you know,

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Speaker 2: what's bigger than this, and a lot of that's happening

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Speaker 2: right now, it seems. But we've almost taught young men

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Speaker 2: that this is something you probably don't want to be

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Speaker 2: a part of. You can choose to be a man,

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Speaker 2: you can choose to be strong, you can choose to

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Speaker 2: do hard things, or you can go to church. And

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Speaker 2: it's crazy we've put these again young men in this position,

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Speaker 2: particularly at a time where our culture needs men to

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Speaker 2: stand up and be men, to lead their homes, to

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Speaker 2: lead their families, to lead in culture at large. And

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Speaker 2: yet we've taken away in a lot of ways the perspective,

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Speaker 2: the tool, the education that they need to actually do that.

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Speaker 2: And I know you give an assessment on this, what

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Speaker 2: is your perception of churches and Christianity as it relates

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Speaker 2: to young men and bringing them to the place that

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Speaker 2: they need to be to really pursue God.

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Speaker 1: I think when you start to look at what's happened

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Speaker 1: over to the church over the last few decades, it

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Speaker 1: started to become a lot more feminized, So you started

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Speaker 1: to see a lot more women playing an active role

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Speaker 1: in the church, and the church started catering more towards

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Speaker 1: the women in the audience than I think it did

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Speaker 1: the men, and the men started to believe that they

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Speaker 1: just didn't really have a place there. And to the

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Speaker 1: extent that men went to church, it was because their

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Speaker 1: wives dragged them. And then when they went to church,

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Speaker 1: it was all about getting out of there as soon

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Speaker 1: as they possibly could. It wasn't about forming relationships. Because

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Speaker 1: the church was essentially a building, it was a cultural

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Speaker 1: ritual that we went through and yeah there's good moralities,

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Speaker 1: and yeah I believe in God, But you know, do

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Speaker 1: I really want to sit there and get lectured by

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Speaker 1: a pastor that is, well, quite frankly, not someone I respect.

430
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,680
Speaker 1: Maybe they're weak, maybe they're not that bright, maybe they're

431
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,200
Speaker 1: you know, do I want to do I really Maybe

432
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 1: it's not the sort of guy I get depend on

433
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,760
Speaker 1: in a fight. So do I really want to be

434
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:33,360
Speaker 1: lectured by some you know, kind of weak, feckless man

435
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,960
Speaker 1: telling me I needed to do a better job because

436
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:39,240
Speaker 1: my wife and everyone else is wonderful and depending on me,

437
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 1: and you know, I'm not living up to all their expectations.

438
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,320
Speaker 1: And now again this is a caricature, right, this doesn't

439
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:50,040
Speaker 1: does describe all churches. You look at men's conferences for

440
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,639
Speaker 1: a while, their men's conferences look like they were conferences

441
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:56,439
Speaker 1: designed by women wanting their men to be better, you

442
00:21:56,440 --> 00:22:02,560
Speaker 1: know whatever. Right, And so you do that for you know,

443
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:04,840
Speaker 1: a couple decades or you see that becoming more prominent

444
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:07,160
Speaker 1: a couple decades. Well, what happens a lot of men

445
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:10,359
Speaker 1: ended up just retreating from the church because, quite frankly,

446
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 1: it's not like we were facing some major existential crisis.

447
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:16,119
Speaker 1: We weren't. We weren't fighting the barbarian whore that was

448
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:19,040
Speaker 1: coming in, and we didn't have something that was drawing

449
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 1: us to God because what we felt like, we had

450
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:25,520
Speaker 1: it all figured out. Right, for the most part, Americans

451
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 1: were healthy, we were fairly happy, fairly prosperous. We weren't

452
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,159
Speaker 1: wondering whe our next meal was coming from. We had

453
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,760
Speaker 1: a house picket fence, we could golf on the weekends. Right.

454
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 1: There just wasn't a lot that we felt we needed

455
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:39,320
Speaker 1: God for because, after all, God isn't someone that we

456
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:42,879
Speaker 1: have a relationship with. God is just you know, fire insurance, right,

457
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,240
Speaker 1: it's a it's a cultural thing that we go to

458
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:49,679
Speaker 1: that informs us about morality. None of that, None of

459
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:53,280
Speaker 1: that sounds like something interesting to men. Ye, And I'm

460
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 1: not saying that, you know, men have to be entertained

461
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,919
Speaker 1: whenever we do something. No, it's actually much more important

462
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,000
Speaker 1: that men need to feel like they are a part

463
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:05,200
Speaker 1: of something and they're building something. Before God even gave

464
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:09,280
Speaker 1: us Eve, he gave us a task and a purpose. Right,

465
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,120
Speaker 1: you were to tend my garden. You were to do this,

466
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 1: And we're like, yeah, cool, we get that makes sense

467
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,200
Speaker 1: to us, right, I got a job to do. I'm

468
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:19,040
Speaker 1: gonna go do this job right. And then it was like, Okay,

469
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:20,880
Speaker 1: it's not good for man to be alone. Man needs

470
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 1: a helpmate, you know. We bring wife, you know, and

471
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,240
Speaker 1: then children be fruitful and multiply. You even look at

472
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,080
Speaker 1: the way that we look at family in the West.

473
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,840
Speaker 1: If you look at family in the West, it's I

474
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 1: find a girl, maybe in college, maybe someone I work

475
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 1: with or whatnot. We get married, we have kids. As

476
00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:39,359
Speaker 1: soon as we have kids, all the romance leaves the

477
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:42,160
Speaker 1: relationship because now it's all about the kids and getting

478
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,760
Speaker 1: them to fourteen soccer practices and making sure that they

479
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 1: get to college. And then as soon as they're eighteen,

480
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 1: I kick them out of the household. And then I

481
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,439
Speaker 1: don't really have a relationship my wife anymore because our

482
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:52,840
Speaker 1: entire life has been the kids. So I go golfing

483
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:54,800
Speaker 1: because I don't want to deal with her crap. She's

484
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,360
Speaker 1: happy to, like, you know, drink wine and read novels

485
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:00,439
Speaker 1: about you know, smut novels, and none of this sounds

486
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:05,240
Speaker 1: interesting to a man. But then when you reorient things,

487
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:09,399
Speaker 1: like let's imagine a church. Let's imagine a church where

488
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 1: instead of buying into feminism or instead of buying into

489
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 1: this idea that our whole job is to just be loving,

490
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:19,160
Speaker 1: right and tolerant and accepting, come as you are. That's

491
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 1: all we talk about. We just talk about boy band Jesus.

492
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 1: Let's imagine a church that said, we are supposed to

493
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 1: bless those who curse us, but we are also supposed

494
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 1: to abhor evil men. You are the leaders of your household.

495
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 1: You're not just building You're not just building a legacy

496
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 1: for the eighteen years of the period of time that

497
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:42,440
Speaker 1: your kids are there. You're building a multi generational legacy

498
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:44,760
Speaker 1: that you're going to hand off to your kids. You're

499
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 1: going to adequately prepare them to go off into the

500
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,440
Speaker 1: world to defend their faith. And by the way, when

501
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:53,160
Speaker 1: they leave your house, that's not where the relationship ends.

502
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 1: You're going to play this role where you are uplifting

503
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 1: your wife, your children. They look at you as someone

504
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:01,520
Speaker 1: that is wise and a protector and brave and honorable.

505
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 1: You become the model for how they're going to develop

506
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 1: and raise their own house. It's going to be God,

507
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 1: the father and dad that's who's actually provided it. You

508
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 1: have this enormous responsibility that is also giving your life

509
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:18,399
Speaker 1: incredible meaning and purpose. And one day you're going to

510
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:24,119
Speaker 1: be sitting there with your kids, your grandkids, your great grandkids,

511
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 1: and you're going to get to see a picture of

512
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 1: a legacy that is continuing on into the future, which

513
00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:34,159
Speaker 1: honors God and creates something where your family doesn't just exist,

514
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:38,560
Speaker 1: they thrive. You tell a man that we're listening, what

515
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 1: do we need to do? How do we need to train,

516
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 1: how do we need to develop? What does that look like? Right? Why?

517
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 1: Because now you're giving us something to build that's permanent.

518
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, so good. One of the trends that I've observed

519
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:59,879
Speaker 2: in churches is pastors that would say amen to everything

520
00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 2: that you just said. They applaud everything that you just said.

521
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:12,359
Speaker 2: They almost overcorrect and turn biblical, biblical masculinity into a

522
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:17,200
Speaker 2: you need to you know, tattoos are a big part

523
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,480
Speaker 2: of it. If you don't train jiu jitsu, you're not

524
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,720
Speaker 2: really a man. If you don't lift a lot of

525
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:24,680
Speaker 2: weights and then put pictures of yourself on Instagram lifting weights,

526
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,920
Speaker 2: and so it's almost like it's like a hyper masculinity.

527
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:31,880
Speaker 2: And I don't think that's helpful either. I think either

528
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:34,680
Speaker 2: one pushes guys to the fringes and goes, well, I'm

529
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 2: not that. I'm not that guy.

530
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:39,600
Speaker 1: Well, here's what I'm saying. I don't see many so

531
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 1: that the men that I know in this space that

532
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 1: I would say are definitely pushing masculinity. And a part

533
00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:47,159
Speaker 1: of their message is, hey, guys, you should stay in

534
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 1: good physical shape and you should learn how to fight. Yeah,

535
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 1: I do that. I agree with that.

536
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:52,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah.

537
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:54,440
Speaker 1: I tell young men you need a violent hobby. Why.

538
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, well, do you want to be able

539
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,880
Speaker 1: to protect your wife and kids one day? Yes? Okay, Well,

540
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,440
Speaker 1: then imagine a situation where your wife and kids need

541
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 1: you and the only thing you're capable of doing is

542
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 1: calling another man to say if you don't want that, well,

543
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 1: then I got news for you. It's going to be

544
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 1: a lot harder to defend your family if you're morbidly obese.

545
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:17,800
Speaker 1: It's gonna be a lot harder to defend your family

546
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:22,119
Speaker 1: if you can't run, if you can't fight, if you

547
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 1: can't do any of these things. And now I always

548
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,639
Speaker 1: caveat it. I always caveat it with like, look, if

549
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:28,919
Speaker 1: you're in a wheelchair, I don't expect you to be

550
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 1: doing jiu jitsu, right, But if you're not, I don't

551
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 1: expect you to be a professional. I don't expect you

552
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:37,159
Speaker 1: to be Chad Robashaw right like eighteen and one in

553
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:40,640
Speaker 1: the octagon, right. I'm not saying that, But why wouldn't

554
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 1: you develop these capabilities and skill sets because they're so

555
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 1: good for you and your family on a personal level,

556
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 1: on a corporate level, on a physical level, on an

557
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 1: intellectual level. It's amazing how the more we find out

558
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 1: about lifting weights actually helps your cognitive ability, not just

559
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:59,159
Speaker 1: how you look naked, right, which, by the way, I

560
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:02,480
Speaker 1: also remind men and look, dude, she promised to only

561
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:04,439
Speaker 1: sleep with you for the rest of her life. Should

562
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 1: she not be happy about what she gets?

563
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:06,680
Speaker 2: Right?

564
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 1: Put in the effort. But all of that is always

565
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 1: has to be tempered with. Your primary responsibility is obedience

566
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 1: to God. That's what it is. It's not reaching some

567
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:20,919
Speaker 1: sort of esthetic. It's not saying I'm the best fighter

568
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:24,400
Speaker 1: at the expense of your family spiritual well being. It's balance.

569
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:27,400
Speaker 1: It's always balanced with what is God calling me to do?

570
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 1: And how much time should I be investing in these

571
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 1: various things in order to meet that criteria? And so

572
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,440
Speaker 1: I do think there's baseline goals that we should fight

573
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 1: for and that should we should strive for. But we

574
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 1: shouldn't allow an individual goal to become an obsession that

575
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 1: takes us away from our true purpose, which is obedience

576
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:43,720
Speaker 1: to God.

577
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:47,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that's good, and I agree with that. I

578
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 2: think that it all becomes a stewardship issue and an

579
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:53,280
Speaker 2: obedience issue. This is what God's called us to do.

580
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 2: It's funny. So my son's a police officer. He's been

581
00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 2: training jiu jitsu since he was like twelve, of the

582
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,480
Speaker 2: detac team of the police department. Let's say he's training

583
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 2: police officers a fight, right, and so so that that's

584
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 2: kind of what my kids were raised in. I've trained forever,

585
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,480
Speaker 2: you know, Chad, and so we you know, our kids

586
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 2: came up together, and so this has been jiu jitsu

587
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,480
Speaker 2: has been a big part of our lives and shooting

588
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 2: and the rest of it. My daughter, who's my oldest,

589
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 2: started dating the guy that's now her husband. They just

590
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 2: got married, and my my younger kids were like, so

591
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 2: where do you train And he's like, well, I don't.

592
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 2: I don't train jiu jitsu. Like okay, well that's a

593
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 2: big red flag, and you need to move on because

594
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 2: we're not going to let that in our house. And

595
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 2: so he's training jiu jitsu now, right, and he's he's great.

596
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 2: He shoots, he carries, he does all that, but he

597
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 2: like like jiu jitsu wasn't into and some of those things.

598
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 2: But but yeah, looking at that as the standard, like,

599
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 2: how are you going to defend our sister? How are

600
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 2: you going to do these things? If if you're not prepared,

601
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 2: And and I think that men should do that. I

602
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 2: think that's the quiet preparation to do what God has

603
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 2: called you to do. It's when that becomes the picture

604
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 2: of masculinity. Yeah, And it's almost like we trade, like,

605
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 2: you know, I need to do things for God to

606
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:06,960
Speaker 2: love me. Well, that's not right. Well then I need

607
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 2: to do things to prove I'm a man. Well that's

608
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 2: not right either. And it sits somewhere in the middle.

609
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 2: And I don't think we've done a great job of

610
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 2: communicating this is what masculinity is. It's not either one

611
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 2: of these extremes. This is what masculinity is. I've heard

612
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 2: pastors recently and as wild Man, talk about the roles

613
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 2: of husband and wife and what they mean by that,

614
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:33,040
Speaker 2: and where they end up taking that is it's an

615
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 2: abusive relationship because I can lord over my wife and

616
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:38,960
Speaker 2: that's what it means to be a you know, a

617
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 2: biblical man or whatever. And so so I just don't

618
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 2: think we've done a great job of articulating like this

619
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:48,280
Speaker 2: is what it actually is. Yea, So what is what

620
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,240
Speaker 2: is biblical masculinity? What does it mean to be a

621
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:51,960
Speaker 2: biblical man?

622
00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 1: So? A biblical man is a man that developed, Like

623
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 1: I always talk about five categories spiritual, emotional, physical, intellectual,

624
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:02,320
Speaker 1: and professional. Where do I come up with these categories? Well?

625
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:04,800
Speaker 1: I observe what God required of as of men in

626
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 1: the Bible, and I look at the various traits that

627
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 1: fall into it and it's like, okay, so this isn't

628
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 1: something Nick is creating out of thin air? Does God?

629
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:17,880
Speaker 1: So when it comes to the spiritual, does God call

630
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 1: us to have a relationship and a commitment to Him? Absolutely?

631
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:25,200
Speaker 1: How do you develop that spiritual commitment? Well you can

632
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 1: look at people like Daniel, You can look at people

633
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:29,120
Speaker 1: like David. You can look at the way that they

634
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 1: talk to God, the way that they depended on God,

635
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:33,000
Speaker 1: the way that they constantly delight on God and the

636
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 1: way that they trusted God in very very dangerous situations.

637
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 1: So how do you develop that kind of trust. You

638
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,000
Speaker 1: have to be reading your Bible, you have to be

639
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 1: in your prayer life. You have to treat God like

640
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: who he is, which is God who wants to have

641
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,800
Speaker 1: a relationship with you. That's how you develop that sort

642
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 1: of trust. You have to understand that God is not

643
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:56,480
Speaker 1: just an emotional commitment, and it's not just an intellectual commitment. Again,

644
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 1: that's why I get to love the Lord to God

645
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 1: with all your heart, mind's, spirit strength. It's a comprehensive relationship.

646
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 1: So that's what you're doing as far as your spiritual aspect.

647
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 1: You're understanding what does God require of me? What does

648
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 1: God want? What does God tell me about the world,

649
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 1: What does God tell me about people? What does God

650
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 1: tell me about morality? What does God tell me about truth? Right,

651
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:17,479
Speaker 1: the more you're studying and understanding that, the more that

652
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 1: relationship becomes meaningful and the easier it becomes to decipher

653
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 1: between things that are good and of God and things

654
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 1: that are not. So that's the spiritual the emotional. Okay,

655
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,720
Speaker 1: what does God tell me about emotions? Well, he shows

656
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 1: me a lot of men that were out of control

657
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 1: or easily manipulated, who then went on to do very

658
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,719
Speaker 1: very bad things, or who were controlled by lust. One

659
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:40,800
Speaker 1: of the biggest things that you see coming up over

660
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,479
Speaker 1: and over and over again in the Bible is strong

661
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 1: men being led completely astray by lust. You see this

662
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:49,960
Speaker 1: with David and Bathsheba. You see this with Solomon and

663
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 1: all his wives and concubines that led him into like

664
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 1: literally pagan worship. Smartest man in the world, a man

665
00:32:56,320 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 1: that conversed with God put enough asterith polls why because

666
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:02,840
Speaker 1: one of the wives he was sleeping with really wanted it,

667
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,000
Speaker 1: and so he got manipulated by his wife. This is

668
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:07,640
Speaker 1: a man that was did not have his own emotions

669
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 1: and passions under control. So I know that as a

670
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 1: godly man, I have to have good emotional maturity, which

671
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 1: doesn't mean I completely push out all the emotions like

672
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 1: some sort of rigid stoic. What it means is that

673
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 1: I allow my emotions to be an invitation to thought.

674
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 1: I am allowed to show. I showed tenderness, just like

675
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 1: Jesus cried when Lazarus died. I showed tenderness and emotion

676
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 1: when it's appropriate. I make sure that my children and

677
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:37,080
Speaker 1: my wife know that I am tender to them, that

678
00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 1: I love them. But I'm also able to keep my

679
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:42,600
Speaker 1: emotions under control in the midst of crisis, to be

680
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 1: able to protect and to provide them in a dangerous

681
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 1: intellectual am I supposed to be wise? Yes? How many

682
00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 1: times in Proverbs does does Solomon have to tell us?

683
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 1: Does God have to tell us about seeking wisdom? Well?

684
00:33:58,040 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 1: How do we seek wisdom? What doesn't mean you have

685
00:33:59,880 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 1: to be? And you know, before a lot of the

686
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 1: books that we now all read in order to become

687
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:08,719
Speaker 1: wise ever existed, we had wise people. How do we

688
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:10,839
Speaker 1: know they were wise? Well, because they were the sort

689
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,880
Speaker 1: of people that developed that relationship with God. They observed things,

690
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:16,800
Speaker 1: they used critical thinking, they were able to analyze things

691
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:20,480
Speaker 1: they didn't. They listened more than they spoke about everything right,

692
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:23,319
Speaker 1: They took in all that information, and then they were

693
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 1: capable of giving sound moral judgment and sound advice to

694
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:33,399
Speaker 1: people that needed it from them. And so, as men,

695
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 1: we should develop ourselves intellectually. We should be the sort

696
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:40,880
Speaker 1: of person that can calmly listen, think, and then be

697
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:44,320
Speaker 1: able to provide guidance and wisdom to people that required

698
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:47,319
Speaker 1: of us. Right, what does it say about the physical? Well,

699
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:50,279
Speaker 1: I will tell you this much. God called people to

700
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 1: go through incredible physical trials, to include himself being able

701
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:57,840
Speaker 1: to endure forty days without eating or drinking in the desert.

702
00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 1: That requires a great deal of both intellectual emotional discipline

703
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 1: as well as physical discipline. When you look at the

704
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:07,799
Speaker 1: men that God called to go into battle, right, this

705
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:09,959
Speaker 1: idea that you would, you would train, and you would

706
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,960
Speaker 1: prepare yourself to be ready to fulfill the mission God

707
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 1: gives you. Now does God sometimes pick the week to

708
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 1: accomplish the incredible? Absolutely, because it's a great way to

709
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 1: be able to demonstrate his power. But God also tells

710
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:23,160
Speaker 1: me as a man that if I don't take care

711
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,480
Speaker 1: of my family, I'm worse than an infidel. So I

712
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:29,439
Speaker 1: need to physically I need to physically develop myself. Why

713
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:31,520
Speaker 1: because my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit.

714
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:34,000
Speaker 1: The other reason why I need to do it is

715
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 1: because the physical also impacts the intellectual, the emotional, and

716
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:42,320
Speaker 1: the professional. Am I called to be productive? Absolutely, Before

717
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 1: God ever gave Adam a wife, he gave him a job. Right,

718
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,360
Speaker 1: and that should say something about us, Like we find

719
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 1: meaning and purpose in our productivity and our creativity. Because

720
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 1: God is productive and creative and He's created his creation

721
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 1: to be the same thing. So I should be developing

722
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 1: physical tools to be able to take care of myself,

723
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 1: take or excuse me, professional tools to be able to

724
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 1: take care of myself, my family, and those in need. Why.

725
00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:09,400
Speaker 1: Because God tells me if I don't take care of

726
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,719
Speaker 1: my family, I'm worse than an infidel. He tells me

727
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:13,439
Speaker 1: that if I do not work, I should not eat.

728
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 1: And he also tells me to be able to build

729
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:18,120
Speaker 1: up things so that I can help people in need.

730
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 1: So that requires marketable skill sets because the only way

731
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:24,040
Speaker 1: that I'm actually going to be able to attain those

732
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:27,240
Speaker 1: resources is that if I'm actually producing something of value

733
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:30,799
Speaker 1: that somebody else wants to voluntarily engage in trade with me. So,

734
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 1: when it comes to the spiritual, the emotional, the intellectual,

735
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 1: the physical, the professional, God gives me criteria, and he

736
00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 1: gives me examples of what to do and what to

737
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:42,239
Speaker 1: avoid in order to become what I would consider to

738
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:46,239
Speaker 1: be a good Biblical man, a good biblical husband, and

739
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,880
Speaker 1: a good Biblical father. When we get into marriage, what

740
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:51,439
Speaker 1: does he tell men, men, love your wives as Christ

741
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:53,759
Speaker 1: loved the church and gave his life for it. When

742
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:55,880
Speaker 1: he talks about how we interact with our sons, he

743
00:36:56,239 --> 00:37:01,800
Speaker 1: warns us, don't exacerbate your children, don't drive them to

744
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:06,759
Speaker 1: rebellion and frustration. Right, So, God is constantly giving us

745
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:10,360
Speaker 1: indications of how we should conduct ourselves as man, as husbands,

746
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 1: as fathers. You take all of that and it's totality

747
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 1: and you have biblical masculinity.

748
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 2: That's good, man, That's that's so good. One of the

749
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 2: things I've appreciated about you, just observing you over the

750
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:24,760
Speaker 2: years is that everything that you say is tied to scripture.

751
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 2: It's not I mean, you have opinions and thoughts, but

752
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:31,879
Speaker 2: it's it always goes back to, well, the Bible tells

753
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:33,320
Speaker 2: us this, and so we need to do that, or

754
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:36,960
Speaker 2: this is where this comes from. Was that so that

755
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 2: picture you gave of masculinity is thoroughly biblical and will

756
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,479
Speaker 2: change culture if guys would get a hold of that. Yeah,

757
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 2: did where did you? Where did you Nick learn to

758
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:50,360
Speaker 2: go to the Bible and ask the question what should

759
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,880
Speaker 2: I be? And this is how I mind that and

760
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 2: then apply it to my life.

761
00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:57,719
Speaker 1: Well, I always looked at the Bible as a thorative right.

762
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,120
Speaker 1: And that was because I was raised that way. So

763
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:04,080
Speaker 1: I accepted that the Bible was authority and that it

764
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,719
Speaker 1: was true. And the more I really dug into my

765
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:10,840
Speaker 1: faith and understood you know what believing something to be

766
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:14,120
Speaker 1: true really means for yourself, right, that's where you start

767
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:15,959
Speaker 1: to really dig in and say, Okay, when I say

768
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,279
Speaker 1: this is true, I don't just mean it's useful for

769
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:21,280
Speaker 1: me when I'm arguing an atheist or debating with an atheist.

770
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 1: It's useful that insofar as I apply it, it works.

771
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:27,399
Speaker 2: Yep.

772
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:32,040
Speaker 1: And then what happened was is the first major test

773
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:36,120
Speaker 1: for this for me was as a husband, because people,

774
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 1: I've been married twenty seven years, We've raised three kids

775
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 1: into adulthood. Our marriage is incredibly strong. We love each other,

776
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:46,360
Speaker 1: respect one another, and we have a great relationship with

777
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 1: our kids. And I will watch people say you got lucky. Okay,

778
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:56,920
Speaker 1: luck is the accusation that lazy people throw at you know,

779
00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:00,400
Speaker 1: hard working people. Here's what I will say. Do I

780
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 1: feel blessed in my choice of bride one hundred percent? However,

781
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:08,480
Speaker 1: before Tina and I ever got married, and we made

782
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 1: plenty of mistakes before marriage during marriage, et cetera. We've

783
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:15,600
Speaker 1: made plenty of mistakes, but we did have this commitment

784
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 1: that we believe the Bible is true. So what does

785
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:21,719
Speaker 1: that mean. It means when I screw up biblically, she

786
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 1: can bring the Bible to me as a corrective measure.

787
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:27,960
Speaker 1: It also means, ladies, I can do it to her.

788
00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:31,360
Speaker 1: And once you can demonstrate that there is a biblical

789
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 1: foundation for the correction, the debate's over. I don't sit

790
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 1: there and try to argue with my wife or try

791
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 1: to bend scripture. I'm like, you're right, I'm sorry, I'll change,

792
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:47,080
Speaker 1: and she does the same for me. Do you know

793
00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 1: how when you are building your marriage on that foundation,

794
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:55,239
Speaker 1: do you know how easy it becomes to deal with

795
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 1: difficult situations? Because again, we both came from broken homes,

796
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:01,319
Speaker 1: got married at nineteen, moved to the other side of

797
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:03,480
Speaker 1: the country where we had no friend or support network.

798
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 1: I was in the military, which doesn't have the best

799
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:09,359
Speaker 1: divorce rates, right, and then after the war started, I

800
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:12,840
Speaker 1: immediately joined Army Special Forces, which has even worse divorce rates.

801
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:15,439
Speaker 1: First ten years of my marriage, I've gone for half

802
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 1: of it, you know, missed significant portions, and not once

803
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:24,560
Speaker 1: not one time in that entire ten year period did

804
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 1: I ever think my marriage was truly in jeopardy. Not once.

805
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:31,319
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean we didn't face difficults. It doesn't mean

806
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:33,000
Speaker 1: that I didn't screw up at times, or that she

807
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 1: screwed up at times. Sure, but never once did we

808
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,399
Speaker 1: think it was in jeopardy. And so this is one

809
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:41,840
Speaker 1: of the things where I look back and it's like,

810
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:44,880
Speaker 1: you know, we made really really imperfect attempts at all

811
00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:47,319
Speaker 1: of that, but we were faithful to believe that the

812
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 1: Bible said, if you do these things, it will go

813
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 1: well with you. So we did those things as best

814
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:56,840
Speaker 1: we could. And it's amazing how God again exponentially blesses

815
00:40:56,960 --> 00:41:03,440
Speaker 1: not just kind of blesses, exponentially blesses imperfect yet faithful attempts.

816
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 1: That's the message that really resonated with me. Is as

817
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 1: bad as as bad a job as I think I

818
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,680
Speaker 1: did looking at certain things, God still understood that in

819
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:13,560
Speaker 1: my heart I want him to be I wanted to

820
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 1: do the right thing, and so he was patient with me.

821
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:19,360
Speaker 1: And when I did do the right thing, he blessed

822
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,400
Speaker 1: it to such a degree that it became so obvious.

823
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:24,280
Speaker 1: It's like, well, yeah, like not doing this is stupid.

824
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:30,839
Speaker 2: Yeah right, right, man, that's so helpful. Okay, So, so

825
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:33,879
Speaker 2: we start off with the definition of masculinity, or really

826
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:38,840
Speaker 2: a picture of masculinity, and that is grounded as rooted

827
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:41,920
Speaker 2: in scripture. God the creator, the one who made us,

828
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:45,799
Speaker 2: designed us, pushed us out, says this is how you

829
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 2: need to live, this is what you should do, this

830
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 2: is what this looks like. That then impacts every other

831
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 2: area of our lives, and I feel so bad for Again,

832
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 2: we're talking about young men, but young ladies as well

833
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:59,239
Speaker 2: who come up and don't have that, and so they're

834
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:02,640
Speaker 2: just trying to grasp but whatever, just trying to figure

835
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:05,680
Speaker 2: it out. And one of the things that I've been

836
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:09,319
Speaker 2: convicted about and really tried to change even in the

837
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:11,319
Speaker 2: way that I communicate and and some of the work

838
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 2: that we do through Mighty Oaks and how we're doing

839
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:19,879
Speaker 2: it is just this responsibility that myself and others kind

840
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,439
Speaker 2: of in this age demographic or I'll be fifty this year,

841
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:26,839
Speaker 2: this age demographic where we're not you know, at the end,

842
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:29,919
Speaker 2: where you're just an old guy that can be dismissed easily, right,

843
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 2: And that's that's wrong, But that's how people think. So

844
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:36,680
Speaker 2: we're still in this age where we can, you know,

845
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:38,560
Speaker 2: roll on a jiujitsu mat, we can go for a run,

846
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:42,400
Speaker 2: we can do these things and and hopefully have some

847
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:46,719
Speaker 2: influence over young men. Yeah, but with all of that,

848
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:49,239
Speaker 2: I sometimes get caught up or have gotten so caught

849
00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:51,120
Speaker 2: up in my own stuff. I'm not thinking about that.

850
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 1: Yeah.

851
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:53,759
Speaker 2: Well then, and I mentioned this to you. You know,

852
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:57,120
Speaker 2: my daughter got married and so she married a great guy.

853
00:42:57,160 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 2: I'm very very proud of him and thankful for him.

854
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:01,880
Speaker 2: But you know, so that that's where my family is

855
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:04,359
Speaker 2: right now. My son's a police officer, they had their

856
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 2: first little girl. My granddaughter is awesome. So they're kind

857
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:11,320
Speaker 2: of in that coming up and and and it's life.

858
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:14,399
Speaker 2: I'm rambling, but it's life. And that has really put

859
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 2: me in a position where I've asked the question, like,

860
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 2: what do I need to be doing as a guy

861
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:21,800
Speaker 2: who's lived a little while I served in the military,

862
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 2: I've been in ministry, I've done this, I've had lots

863
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 2: of conversations with people who have struggled. I've fought through

864
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 2: stuff in my own life and our marriage, and whatever,

865
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:33,000
Speaker 2: what do I need to be doing to help these

866
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:36,839
Speaker 2: young men? Grow into the men that God created them

867
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 2: to be.

868
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:41,480
Speaker 1: Let's be let's be super controversial. Sure, let's why not

869
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 1: is a word that we're not supposed to Yeah, you're

870
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 1: supposed to be the patriarch.

871
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you're dealing with the patriarchy. Though. We got

872
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 2: to tear that thing down down.

873
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:54,719
Speaker 1: We need to We need to build that thing up correctly.

874
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:58,799
Speaker 1: We need to build that thing up correctly. So here,

875
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:01,560
Speaker 1: here's here's the way I look at it. And there's

876
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:03,439
Speaker 1: a guy I know named Jeremy Pryor, and he runs

877
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:06,840
Speaker 1: this thing called Family Teams, and he talks about multi

878
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:11,960
Speaker 1: generational Christian families. And again he goes into this idea

879
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,120
Speaker 1: that it was kind of what I was talking about before. Right,

880
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:16,120
Speaker 1: you get married, you have kids, you send him off,

881
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 1: and you go golf and whatever. And he said, well, no,

882
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:22,840
Speaker 1: as men, what we're supposed to do is at different

883
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:25,720
Speaker 1: stages in our lives, we have different duties and responsibilities.

884
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 1: So we're at this stage where we really are in

885
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:34,400
Speaker 1: the mentorship, discipleship and leadership phase of our lives. Why Well,

886
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:36,920
Speaker 1: because we've lived a little bit of life, we've been

887
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 1: through some stuff, We've come at it with some accomplishments

888
00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 1: or successes, which means that young men can look up

889
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:44,480
Speaker 1: to us as, oh, that might be a guide for

890
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:47,440
Speaker 1: how I should do things. And we're still on that

891
00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:49,799
Speaker 1: point where again, we can still roll on the mat, right,

892
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:52,600
Speaker 1: we can still fight, we can still lead, we're still productive.

893
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 1: We're not at that point where now we're just kind

894
00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 1: of moving more into the discipleship phase as opposed to

895
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:01,360
Speaker 1: just you know, leadership and discipleship. So yeah, we're in

896
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:03,400
Speaker 1: this place right now. Like so, for instance, when my

897
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:07,879
Speaker 1: oldest daughter got married a couple of years ago, I said, well, honey,

898
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 1: I want you to understand something. You know, I think

899
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 1: I love my son in law. I think he's a

900
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:15,520
Speaker 1: good man. You have a good husband here. There may

901
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:17,480
Speaker 1: be times where you want to ask me questions. So

902
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:19,120
Speaker 1: there may be times when things are going on in

903
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:21,200
Speaker 1: marriage and you're trying to make sense of things, and

904
00:45:21,239 --> 00:45:23,680
Speaker 1: I want you to know I will always be here,

905
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:26,800
Speaker 1: I said, But before you got married, I was always

906
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 1: here for you. Now that you're married, I am here

907
00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:34,399
Speaker 1: for the marriage. Now. That doesn't mean if something really

908
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:36,719
Speaker 1: bad were to happen or there was abuse, which I

909
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:39,480
Speaker 1: anticipate none of that happening in their marriage, then of

910
00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:42,120
Speaker 1: course I would fulfill that role again as as spiritual

911
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:46,160
Speaker 1: protector and physical protector of my daughter, but her husband

912
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 1: is that now, and so now my job is to

913
00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:50,719
Speaker 1: be there as someone that is a little bit further

914
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:53,240
Speaker 1: down the road than them, that has traveled this road already,

915
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:57,759
Speaker 1: in order to help give directions when asked for or

916
00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:02,239
Speaker 1: when desperately needed. And as I look at that role,

917
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:04,440
Speaker 1: it's a wonderful role because it's something that I get

918
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:07,760
Speaker 1: to do for them. I get to potentially create opportunities

919
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:10,520
Speaker 1: for them, or to remove barriers so they can go

920
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 1: their own way, not live their life for them, not

921
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:15,040
Speaker 1: direct them. But I'm now in a position where I

922
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:18,120
Speaker 1: could potentially move barriers or create opportunities. I'm also in

923
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:20,560
Speaker 1: a position where I get to help with my grandchildren.

924
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 1: And again I don't don't I don't have grandchildren on

925
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 1: earth just yet, but when I do, I really look

926
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:31,359
Speaker 1: forward to this idea of kind of getting to watch

927
00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:34,920
Speaker 1: my kids grow up again, but this time I get

928
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:36,440
Speaker 1: to I get to be more of a I get

929
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 1: to be more of an observer because when they were

930
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:40,920
Speaker 1: growing up, I had to deploy, and I had to work,

931
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 1: and I had to do all these other things, Well,

932
00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:44,160
Speaker 1: now I get to be there for them. So I

933
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:46,920
Speaker 1: get to be a source of wisdom for my grandchildren.

934
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:49,880
Speaker 1: I also get to be a source of relief for

935
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:53,080
Speaker 1: my kids when they have kids, because you know the deal,

936
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:55,520
Speaker 1: there's time you need to break, needing time to be

937
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:58,200
Speaker 1: husband and wife, not just mommy and daddy. And now

938
00:46:58,280 --> 00:47:00,440
Speaker 1: I get to step into this role. And that not

939
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:04,279
Speaker 1: only gives my children a break, It gives my grandchildren,

940
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:07,560
Speaker 1: you know, affection and love and guidance. But it also

941
00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 1: gives me additional meeting and purpose as I go into

942
00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:13,719
Speaker 1: this next phase of life. And so I think what,

943
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:15,719
Speaker 1: as men, what we need to understand is is that

944
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:19,120
Speaker 1: we have different duties and responsibilities through each phase. And

945
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:21,920
Speaker 1: our job is not to hold on white knuckled to

946
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,879
Speaker 1: the previous phase. Right. You see young men they want

947
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:26,920
Speaker 1: to hold onto adolescence. They want to hold onto no

948
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:29,600
Speaker 1: responsibility and a bunch of fun. You see the other guys,

949
00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:31,600
Speaker 1: they want to hang on to youth. They want to

950
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:33,680
Speaker 1: hang on to the doing, but not the mentoring or

951
00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:35,960
Speaker 1: the leadership role. Then you have guys they want to

952
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:37,520
Speaker 1: hang on in the mentoring in leadership, but they don't

953
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:39,879
Speaker 1: want to move in to kind of that older role

954
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 1: of like you are there to provide wise guidance, you're

955
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:44,640
Speaker 1: not doing the things as much anymore. And really, what

956
00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:46,680
Speaker 1: I think we should do is embrace that God has

957
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:49,160
Speaker 1: given us a role of meaning, a purpose and identity

958
00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:51,560
Speaker 1: in each one of these phases, and what we do

959
00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:54,080
Speaker 1: in one phase adequately prepares us to go on to

960
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 1: the next and be able to do what we need

961
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:56,120
Speaker 1: to in that.

962
00:47:56,280 --> 00:48:00,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, that's such a great perspective. As you're saying,

963
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 2: then I'm thinking about, you know, all all the guys,

964
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:07,640
Speaker 2: like all the idiots that I've known who have moved

965
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:10,120
Speaker 2: into this phase of life or the stage of life

966
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:14,839
Speaker 2: and then done the dumbest stuff. They've walked out on

967
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:19,440
Speaker 2: their wife, They've gone and like become like whatever. It's

968
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:23,839
Speaker 2: like they're reliving their adolescence or they're because of that though,

969
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:27,279
Speaker 2: right because they haven't realized, Okay, I'm now supposed to

970
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:31,120
Speaker 2: mature into a different stage not only of life, but

971
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:33,479
Speaker 2: of responsibility and that and all.

972
00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:36,480
Speaker 1: Much culture to that point. One of the problems of

973
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:38,200
Speaker 1: the way, the reason why I keep going back to

974
00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:42,200
Speaker 1: family on this, a multi generational family, is because when

975
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,400
Speaker 1: when getting old means your kids put you in a

976
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 1: home one day and you die alone dribbling on yourself. Well,

977
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 1: then of course you want to stay away as far

978
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:52,799
Speaker 1: away from that phase of your life as possible, and

979
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:55,840
Speaker 1: so you're constantly grasping for other phases of your life.

980
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 1: But now I want you to imagine a family setting

981
00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:03,080
Speaker 1: whereas you're growing up, grandfather has this position of honor

982
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:07,560
Speaker 1: in the household and wisdom and and he's held up

983
00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:10,280
Speaker 1: again as the patriarch of the family, is the anchor,

984
00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:13,520
Speaker 1: as the source of wisdom and advice. Well, now, all

985
00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:17,040
Speaker 1: of a sudden, that's not something you dread. That's a

986
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:19,719
Speaker 1: position that one day you aspire to be. Like when

987
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:21,480
Speaker 1: when I go into that, I want to go and

988
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:24,400
Speaker 1: do it gracefully, honorably, and I want to serve the

989
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:27,000
Speaker 1: roles and responsibilities I have. Then there's a reason why

990
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:31,680
Speaker 1: guys die so quickly after retirement or chase, you know,

991
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:36,120
Speaker 1: whatever sex, or hobbies or toys. It's because again they're

992
00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:38,200
Speaker 1: trying to find some place in their life, whether I

993
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:40,880
Speaker 1: either got enjoyment or they felt like they had meaning.

994
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:45,400
Speaker 1: And the biblical worldview, the multi generational family world view, says, no,

995
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:47,520
Speaker 1: you have meaning at each point and you have a

996
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:50,840
Speaker 1: job that you're supposed to do, so embrace it, prepare

997
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:52,920
Speaker 1: for it, and then enjoy it when you have it.

998
00:49:53,239 --> 00:49:58,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's great, man, There's a lot there, so I

999
00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:01,759
Speaker 2: could stay there, but let's kind of pull the view

1000
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 2: out a little bit. And all right, I'm in this

1001
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:07,160
Speaker 2: phase of life and as a member of a church,

1002
00:50:08,040 --> 00:50:10,880
Speaker 2: as a member of just you know, the community and

1003
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:15,960
Speaker 2: culture at large. How do I leverage this phase of

1004
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:17,759
Speaker 2: my life or stage of my life to help young

1005
00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:19,240
Speaker 2: men who may not be family members.

1006
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:21,719
Speaker 1: Well, and the first thing you're doing, you're already doing,

1007
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:24,720
Speaker 1: and that's the emphasis. First is on your immediate sphere

1008
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:28,080
Speaker 1: of both influence and authority and responsibility, and that's your family.

1009
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:30,719
Speaker 1: Because we do have some guys where God bless them,

1010
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:32,480
Speaker 1: they really are trying to do the right thing by

1011
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 1: young men, and they fail to do the right thing

1012
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:37,239
Speaker 1: by the young man that God actually gave him charge.

1013
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 1: Which is so first and foremost, put your emphasis on

1014
00:50:42,080 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 1: the authority and the responsibility that God gave you, which

1015
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:46,799
Speaker 1: is not to every man in the universe, it's to

1016
00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:49,200
Speaker 1: the many's. Put it within your immediate sphere of influence.

1017
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:52,120
Speaker 1: So do that well, And here's what happens when you

1018
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:55,080
Speaker 1: do that well, other young men who have not grown

1019
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:57,520
Speaker 1: up in an environment where that's been done well, they

1020
00:50:57,560 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 1: start to seek your advice or they start to come

1021
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:02,120
Speaker 1: to you. And so God puts people in your path

1022
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:07,160
Speaker 1: that need this sort of advice or insight or guidance.

1023
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:10,120
Speaker 1: And so when that happens, be open to it. It's like,

1024
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:12,279
Speaker 1: all right, Holy Spirit, did you put this guy in

1025
00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:14,120
Speaker 1: my path for a reason? Is this where I need

1026
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 1: to be devoting attention? This is another reason why I

1027
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:20,239
Speaker 1: say men need to orient our goals and objectives toward

1028
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:23,400
Speaker 1: obedience to God, not creating some sort of standard of

1029
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:26,520
Speaker 1: success that we go out and we look for. That's

1030
00:51:26,520 --> 00:51:28,680
Speaker 1: not to say that standards are bad, that's not to

1031
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:31,359
Speaker 1: say that goals are inappropriate, but they should always be

1032
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:34,440
Speaker 1: subordinate to what is obedience to God look like in

1033
00:51:34,480 --> 00:51:36,799
Speaker 1: this endeavor? What does obedience God look like into what

1034
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:40,160
Speaker 1: endeavors I choose? And so I have found that when

1035
00:51:40,160 --> 00:51:42,319
Speaker 1: I like, for instance, if you would have told me

1036
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:46,400
Speaker 1: six years ago, hey, Nick, you know what you're going

1037
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:49,880
Speaker 1: to be online internet coffee mug dad, Right, that's going

1038
00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:52,399
Speaker 1: to be your role, I'd be like, I don't even

1039
00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:56,600
Speaker 1: know what that means mean right. And yet when I

1040
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:59,120
Speaker 1: get stopped in the airport, it's not because people want

1041
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:01,759
Speaker 1: to tell me how they really really loved when I

1042
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:04,440
Speaker 1: carried HB one four seven on my third year in

1043
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:08,359
Speaker 1: the legislature, or how they really dug that one counter

1044
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:11,080
Speaker 1: terrorism operation I went on in two thousand and six.

1045
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:13,440
Speaker 1: In a raw, it's I really appreciate what you had

1046
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:17,320
Speaker 1: to say about marriage or raising daughters or raising a son,

1047
00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:22,000
Speaker 1: and I'm looking atim going, hey, I love I appreciate

1048
00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:23,960
Speaker 1: that gratitude, But I'm always going to point back to

1049
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,640
Speaker 1: God because He's the source of the knowledge and the

1050
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:29,880
Speaker 1: wisdom associated with this. My goal was to be obedient

1051
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:33,279
Speaker 1: in understanding, listening and interpreting it in a way that

1052
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:35,640
Speaker 1: certain men need to hear. So that's what I would

1053
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:38,080
Speaker 1: say that the goal is first focus on your family.

1054
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:40,120
Speaker 1: Then be aware of the people that God puts in

1055
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:43,200
Speaker 1: your path. Also be aware of the various opportunities that

1056
00:52:43,239 --> 00:52:45,400
Speaker 1: God has given you to be able to be a

1057
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:48,239
Speaker 1: blessing for other people. Because men we thrive on that.

1058
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:52,239
Speaker 1: We thrive when we are useful to others. Look at that,

1059
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:56,960
Speaker 1: but also but also timper that with don't allow yourself

1060
00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:58,759
Speaker 1: to be caught up and Okay, now my mission is

1061
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:01,800
Speaker 1: to reach every single man right community, right. My mission

1062
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:03,840
Speaker 1: is to be obedient to what God has put in

1063
00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:07,920
Speaker 1: front of me and to focus on that. And I

1064
00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:09,600
Speaker 1: think when we do that, and we do provide that

1065
00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:11,600
Speaker 1: advice and we live it out in our lives and

1066
00:53:11,640 --> 00:53:13,759
Speaker 1: we find ways to connect with people and they find

1067
00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:16,480
Speaker 1: ways to connect with us, then we take full advantage

1068
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:19,400
Speaker 1: of the opportunities that God has given it and allow

1069
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:22,200
Speaker 1: him to direct what that looks like. Because there's going

1070
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:24,040
Speaker 1: to be certain people that you meet in one season

1071
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:26,200
Speaker 1: of their life and maybe you just plant the seed.

1072
00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:29,839
Speaker 1: There's going to be other people where you're there to tend, right,

1073
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 1: you tend with the work that somebody else has started,

1074
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:33,840
Speaker 1: and then there's going to be other people where you

1075
00:53:33,880 --> 00:53:36,400
Speaker 1: get to harvest man. And that's the coolest one. The

1076
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:38,839
Speaker 1: coolest one is when, or we think is the coolest one,

1077
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:40,440
Speaker 1: is when you get to see the end result that

1078
00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:42,640
Speaker 1: they give their life to Christ, so they turn their

1079
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:46,279
Speaker 1: marriage around, or they stop doing whatever it was that was,

1080
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:48,799
Speaker 1: you know, harming the relationship with God or their wife

1081
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 1: or their children, but all of them are important.

1082
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:57,200
Speaker 2: And so just be open to that as well, that

1083
00:53:57,840 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 2: emphasis on just being obedient. I mean, I think we

1084
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:06,720
Speaker 2: we really like books that say these are the twelve

1085
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:09,200
Speaker 2: things you need to do, and this is the process, right,

1086
00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:11,799
Speaker 2: Like it boils down to like just know what God

1087
00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:13,960
Speaker 2: wants you to do and do that. Like just do that.

1088
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:17,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was what I wrote when I wrote my book.

1089
00:54:17,760 --> 00:54:19,759
Speaker 1: So I wrote the Man Book, and I talk about

1090
00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:22,480
Speaker 1: these five pillars, and I talk about various things I learned,

1091
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:24,279
Speaker 1: but one of the things I emphasized, like I don't

1092
00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:27,200
Speaker 1: have some twelve step program to you be in every

1093
00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:31,880
Speaker 1: There's guidelines that Scripture gives us. There's non negotiables that

1094
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:34,600
Speaker 1: are expected of us. But God's going to send us

1095
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:37,560
Speaker 1: all down very very different paths. And here's the other.

1096
00:54:37,719 --> 00:54:39,360
Speaker 1: Here's the other thing that I think is so important

1097
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:41,880
Speaker 1: to understanding because men are competitive, and that's not a

1098
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:46,320
Speaker 1: bad thing. Healthy competition, I think is wonderful. But healthy

1099
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:53,320
Speaker 1: competition recognizes excellence in somebody else in the right Unhealthy

1100
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:57,640
Speaker 1: competition creates envy of somebody else's achievements. And the moment

1101
00:54:57,719 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 1: I realized that my job was not to have a tie,

1102
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:01,919
Speaker 1: or to achieve this or a certain amount of money

1103
00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:04,520
Speaker 1: or whatever else. My job was due be obedient. Here's

1104
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:06,879
Speaker 1: what happened. I all of a sudden ended up being

1105
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:10,279
Speaker 1: very very satisfied and happy and joyful with respect to

1106
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:13,640
Speaker 1: what God had given me as far as tasks, struggles

1107
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:19,879
Speaker 1: and accomplishments. And I feel incredibly delighted and happy when

1108
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:24,640
Speaker 1: other men succeed. So when I see other men achieve

1109
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:28,120
Speaker 1: something which surpasses something that the world would say is

1110
00:55:28,120 --> 00:55:31,560
Speaker 1: my achievement, I don't feel like, oh, man, you know

1111
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:34,600
Speaker 1: I need to know. It's like, no, that's man, that's awesome.

1112
00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:36,719
Speaker 1: I'm so happy for that guy. I'm so happy that

1113
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:38,799
Speaker 1: this came in for him, or they got that job,

1114
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:42,080
Speaker 1: or they achieved this accomplishment. Like how incredible that that

1115
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:45,279
Speaker 1: person was obedient to the purpose God gave to them

1116
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:48,480
Speaker 1: and they were richly blessed as a result of it. Right,

1117
00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:52,000
Speaker 1: I don't feel any envy toward that guy whatsoever, because

1118
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:55,839
Speaker 1: I'm fulfilling my role and he's fulfilling his, and that's

1119
00:55:55,880 --> 00:55:57,919
Speaker 1: all that it is, because at the end of the day,

1120
00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:01,919
Speaker 1: there's only one thing that we're all seeking to stand

1121
00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:06,040
Speaker 1: before God, and here, well done, good and faithful servant.

1122
00:56:07,040 --> 00:56:09,920
Speaker 1: That's it. Everything else will be measured against that I

1123
00:56:10,160 --> 00:56:12,080
Speaker 1: am absolutely convinced that I'm not going to get up

1124
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:14,120
Speaker 1: to heaven one day stand before my creator and he's

1125
00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:17,400
Speaker 1: going to be like, well, the Ranger tab and the

1126
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:19,239
Speaker 1: special Forces to have are pretty cool, Nick, But you

1127
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:22,239
Speaker 1: never went delta, right, Like, you know, he's not going

1128
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:26,960
Speaker 1: to say he's not gonna say well, He's definitely not

1129
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:31,480
Speaker 1: going to say that, right, So he's gonna hear he's

1130
00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:34,440
Speaker 1: gonna say well done, good and faithful servant. That doesn't

1131
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:36,320
Speaker 1: mean that he didn't plan for me to go be

1132
00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:39,200
Speaker 1: a Green Beret. But it's all about what did I

1133
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:40,880
Speaker 1: do and what did I use that time for?

1134
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:42,000
Speaker 2: Right?

1135
00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:44,560
Speaker 1: And and did was? It was that obedience as well?

1136
00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:47,040
Speaker 1: And and again it takes a huge load off of you,

1137
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:49,840
Speaker 1: not because you don't got stuff to do, but because

1138
00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:52,600
Speaker 1: you recognize what your objective is, what your role is,

1139
00:56:52,719 --> 00:56:56,439
Speaker 1: and you recognize that victory province of God. My job

1140
00:56:56,480 --> 00:56:59,040
Speaker 1: is to play a role in his story, not to

1141
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:01,840
Speaker 1: insist that he play a role in mine. As a character.

1142
00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:06,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, so good, Nick, there's so much there. You mentioned

1143
00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:09,520
Speaker 2: your book, The Man Book, a point by point guide

1144
00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:12,160
Speaker 2: to sucking it up and getting the job done. I

1145
00:57:12,239 --> 00:57:14,840
Speaker 2: like the subtitle better than I like the title. The title,

1146
00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:19,480
Speaker 2: maybe tell everyone where they can get the book, who

1147
00:57:19,560 --> 00:57:22,280
Speaker 2: the book was written for? And then I think people

1148
00:57:22,320 --> 00:57:24,240
Speaker 2: would figure this out. But how they can follow you

1149
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 2: and follow your content? And I mean this sincerely. Your

1150
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:29,680
Speaker 2: your content has been a real blessing to me personally

1151
00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:33,520
Speaker 2: and has has helped me as I you know, work

1152
00:57:33,560 --> 00:57:36,080
Speaker 2: to help other people. So very very thankful for you

1153
00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:37,840
Speaker 2: and for what you're doing. How can people follow you?

1154
00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:40,960
Speaker 1: And and well, thank you and it's an honor.

1155
00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:41,720
Speaker 2: Nick J.

1156
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:44,280
Speaker 1: Fradis. You can pretty much go on any social media

1157
00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:47,120
Speaker 1: platform and Nick J. Fradus is where you find me.

1158
00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:49,720
Speaker 1: We got a show called Making the Argument, uh, where

1159
00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:51,360
Speaker 1: we go through and we look at everything from new

1160
00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:55,640
Speaker 1: stuff to family culture, faith, and we try to make good,

1161
00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:58,640
Speaker 1: comprehensive logical arguments for the things that we believe in

1162
00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:01,880
Speaker 1: why God to help everyone interpret the interesting times that

1163
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:05,240
Speaker 1: we're living in. And then yeah, the Man Book you

1164
00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:08,320
Speaker 1: can pretty much buy anywhere. But the reason why I

1165
00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:10,560
Speaker 1: wrote it and the reason why again, it was an

1166
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:13,000
Speaker 1: interesting process going through it with the editor and whatnot

1167
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:15,840
Speaker 1: and what were we doing this for? We really wanted

1168
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:19,840
Speaker 1: to provide a guide for any man that wanted to Again,

1169
00:58:19,880 --> 00:58:21,200
Speaker 1: this is not a book where I try to preach

1170
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:23,120
Speaker 1: it everybody about like you know, do this or do this.

1171
00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:26,480
Speaker 1: It's more of, Hey, I've been married twenty seven years,

1172
00:58:26,520 --> 00:58:29,080
Speaker 1: I've been a father twenty three years. I've served in

1173
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:31,800
Speaker 1: the military, I've served in elected office. I've been a

1174
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:35,880
Speaker 1: business owner. Here's some of the stuff I've learned. Right,

1175
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:39,040
Speaker 1: Here's just here's the stuff I've learned, what worked, what

1176
00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:42,960
Speaker 1: didn't work, why. And I wanted men of any age

1177
00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:45,200
Speaker 1: that have those sorts of questions to be able to

1178
00:58:45,240 --> 00:58:50,040
Speaker 1: go there and hopefully hopefully get good Biblical guidance, but

1179
00:58:50,560 --> 00:58:54,160
Speaker 1: to be perfectly honest too. I think it's also beneficial

1180
00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:58,760
Speaker 1: for women who want to understand what men value and why,

1181
00:58:59,080 --> 00:59:03,600
Speaker 1: how we think and why, because I I want men

1182
00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:05,200
Speaker 1: to be not just good men, I want them to

1183
00:59:05,240 --> 00:59:08,000
Speaker 1: be good husbands and fathers. And I think the more

1184
00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:11,440
Speaker 1: women understand where men are coming from in a biblical perspective,

1185
00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:15,000
Speaker 1: the more they can understand how they're not supposed to

1186
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:18,480
Speaker 1: compete with us. We're supposed to be cooperative. And when

1187
00:59:18,480 --> 00:59:21,160
Speaker 1: we really embrace our roles we make we make, we

1188
00:59:21,280 --> 00:59:23,440
Speaker 1: make each other better in a way that is so

1189
00:59:23,720 --> 00:59:26,040
Speaker 1: unique that it can only be explained as being divine.

1190
00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:31,280
Speaker 2: Uh, it's it's kind of funny. We have a our

1191
00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:34,800
Speaker 2: family has a like a family Instagram chat whatever, it's

1192
00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:37,720
Speaker 2: our family members, right, and so we'll just shrop videos

1193
00:59:37,720 --> 00:59:39,720
Speaker 2: in there, and most of them I wouldn't want anyone

1194
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:44,000
Speaker 2: to know that we're sharing with each other, but but

1195
00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:46,360
Speaker 2: I have. So I have two sons and two daughters,

1196
00:59:46,480 --> 00:59:51,120
Speaker 2: and my wife will regularly drop videos of yours talking about,

1197
00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:54,680
Speaker 2: you know, something related to masculinity. And it's it's always

1198
00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:56,600
Speaker 2: for the reas, it's never for my sons, it's for

1199
00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:59,720
Speaker 2: my daughters, like like, hey, you need to understand this,

1200
00:59:59,880 --> 01:00:02,480
Speaker 2: or you need to you know, this needs to be

1201
01:00:02,520 --> 01:00:03,680
Speaker 2: a goal, or this needs to be something that you

1202
01:00:03,720 --> 01:00:07,840
Speaker 2: think about. And yeah, I think I think young women,

1203
01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:11,680
Speaker 2: particularly reading books and understanding this is this is the goal,

1204
01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:15,000
Speaker 2: this is the standard, this is what's going on that

1205
01:00:15,080 --> 01:00:17,360
Speaker 2: helps the home and the rest of it so well.

1206
01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:21,080
Speaker 1: And and also the role they play in helping make

1207
01:00:21,120 --> 01:00:22,919
Speaker 1: that man become that man.

1208
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:23,600
Speaker 2: Right.

1209
01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:26,720
Speaker 1: You know, ladies, I'm sorry, you're probably not going to

1210
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:28,200
Speaker 1: start off with a finished product.

1211
01:00:28,360 --> 01:00:31,560
Speaker 2: You're probably gonna you know, he's end up with one.

1212
01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:33,960
Speaker 1: Maybe Yeah, he's going to help refine you and you're

1213
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:35,120
Speaker 1: gonna help refine him.

1214
01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:38,560
Speaker 2: That's funny. Uh man, Nick, thank you so much. Been

1215
01:00:38,600 --> 01:00:42,760
Speaker 2: an honor and I really really appreciate it. Yeah, thank

1216
01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:44,400
Speaker 2: you for those that are listening.

1217
01:00:45,280 --> 01:00:46,560
Speaker 1: Thank you for work as well.

1218
01:00:46,800 --> 01:00:49,240
Speaker 2: Oh yes, sir, No, it's an honor and it's been

1219
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:52,360
Speaker 2: it's been fun. Uh there's been some crossover between kind

1220
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:54,520
Speaker 2: of kind of what you've done and Mighty Oaks and

1221
01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:56,840
Speaker 2: and that, and uh, I think we're all just aiming

1222
01:00:56,840 --> 01:00:58,600
Speaker 2: at the same target and trying to help people get

1223
01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:02,120
Speaker 2: where they need to be. So thank you for those

1224
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:03,960
Speaker 2: of you are listening, watching, Thank you for doing it.

1225
01:01:04,200 --> 01:01:07,320
Speaker 2: Share this content out with others, and look forward to

1226
01:01:07,320 --> 01:01:07,960
Speaker 2: talking to you next time.