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Speaker 1: Hey there everyone, Welcome back to the New World Altil podcast.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for being here once again, as I welcome

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Speaker 1: in my beautiful, lovely wife, who is adorned this week

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Speaker 1: by her brown silhouetted cowboy on horse jacket. Absolutely beautiful.

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Speaker 2: It's not a jacket, it's a sweater.

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Speaker 1: Beautiful. I'm complimenting you.

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Speaker 2: Come on, thank you. I am really into sweaters right now.

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Speaker 2: I think that I would like to do a line

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Speaker 2: of sweaters. Would you guys buy my sweaters if I

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Speaker 2: made awesome sweaters, which at that point in life, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think so.

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Speaker 1: Okay. On today's episode of the podcast, we're going to

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Speaker 1: discussing you know, things don't always work out favorably for us.

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Speaker 1: We received disappointing news every now and again, and this

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Speaker 1: week was most definitely in one of those weeks, something

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Speaker 1: that we have been working toward and focused on for

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Speaker 1: quite a while. Now, we got some bad news on

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Speaker 1: and despite it all, we are maintaining an attitude of gratitude.

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Speaker 1: So happy to be here with you once again. But

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Speaker 1: we wanted to jump into this whole situation to kind

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Speaker 1: of give you a quick breakdown and explain maybe why

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Speaker 1: it is that we're trying to to remain a little

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Speaker 1: more upbeat despite the fact that this was very, very frustrating.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, disappointing for sure, for sure.

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Speaker 1: And if that doesn't do it for you. Toward the

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Speaker 1: end of the podcast, I'm permitting, I told Melissa, I

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Speaker 1: came across this story that's actually a few years old

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Speaker 1: now about this married older female who she and her

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Speaker 1: husband go up on stage at church and confront their

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Speaker 1: pastor about a past relationship that.

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Speaker 2: Was involving her in the past, involving her.

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Speaker 1: In the pastor that was sexually explicit in nature, that

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Speaker 1: started when she was sixteen years old. And we want

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Speaker 1: to just play that for you and give you a

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Speaker 1: quick breakdown and run down to see if you react

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Speaker 1: and respond maybe the same way that I did, and

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Speaker 1: you did as well when I kind of brushed you

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Speaker 1: up on this whole thing. Right right, let's jump right in,

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Speaker 1: shall we. So this disappointing news we always get accused

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Speaker 1: of like all things always work out so perfectly for

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Speaker 1: you guys. Not true? Yeah, And this week, like I said,

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Speaker 1: that most definitely wasn't the case. You want to give

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Speaker 1: a breakdown of what it is that we are experiencing here, back.

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Speaker 2: Well, we have had our eye on a certain piece

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Speaker 2: of land real estate that we wanted to invest in

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Speaker 2: to set up our family for the future, because we thought,

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Speaker 2: you know, this is it, this is the answer, this

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Speaker 2: is going to be so amazing and it just has

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Speaker 2: to work out. And we've been over the course of

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Speaker 2: years talking to the owner. She wasn't ready, and then

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Speaker 2: she was ready, and then like, I mean we have

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Speaker 2: gone down to talking, you know how, what's what's it's

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Speaker 2: going to cost? Yes, what are the terms of this?

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Speaker 2: This it's really good. Okay, everybody's happy. Just to wake

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Speaker 2: up to a text message the other day that was like, actually,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to sell it to somebody else.

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Speaker 1: Is a great synopsis summary of what is transpired this week.

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Speaker 1: But let's let's go back now. So for those of

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Speaker 1: you who have been with Melissa and I for many,

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Speaker 1: many years, you know that we are I feel like

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Speaker 1: we're pretty decent about like setting long term goals and

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Speaker 1: aspirations for ourselves and doing a good job of like

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Speaker 1: squirreling away money and hopefully one day managing to somehow

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Speaker 1: check that box. And once we you know, came here

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Speaker 1: and got ourselves established, which was a multi year process

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Speaker 1: of saving and planning. We started looking to the future

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Speaker 1: and we started trying to figure out, like, hey, what

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Speaker 1: what can we do to maybe sell ourselves and our children,

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Speaker 1: our so our family as a whole up long term.

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Speaker 1: And so this process sort of began all over again,

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Speaker 1: correct with like, Okay, let's come up with a plan.

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Speaker 1: We targeted this specific parcel. Yeah, it was a really

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Speaker 1: safe deal. So we targeted this parcel and we started

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Speaker 1: saving money for it and had a very specific goal

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Speaker 1: and vision in mind with moving forward. Like Melissa said,

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Speaker 1: she contacted the owner of the property, had some back

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Speaker 1: and forth and the response that we always got was

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Speaker 1: like no, not right now, in due time, maybe one day,

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Speaker 1: and that conversation began to change more recently. That gave

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Speaker 1: us a lot of optimism. Yeah, I explained maybe how

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Speaker 1: that went.

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Speaker 2: Well going into Christmas. She was like, this is this

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Speaker 2: sounds great. I think it's gonna work out. We'll figure

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Speaker 2: out all the details right after the holidays kind of thing.

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Speaker 1: Well, even before that, she said that basically her her

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Speaker 1: situation and circumstance had changed and that she wasn't willing

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Speaker 1: to necessarily hear us how previously, but she was now yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So it gave me a lot of hope and

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Speaker 2: that it sounded like, Okay, I think this is gonna work,

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Speaker 2: Like this is so cool. We've been saving for this,

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Speaker 2: we've been planning for this, it's gonna like it's actually

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Speaker 2: gonna happen. And then it was just like a total

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Speaker 2: shutdown of like Nope, actually it's it's just not gonna

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Speaker 2: it's not gonna happen. It doesn't. And then I tried

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Speaker 2: to like, Okay, is there anything we can do, and nope.

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Speaker 2: So it was just like done. It was just like

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Speaker 2: door shut and after so many years, I was just

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Speaker 2: kind of I felt very just almost stranded.

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Speaker 1: We're trying not to say too much here, but let

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Speaker 1: me just put it this way. It was something that

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Speaker 1: would have for our family been very very likely would

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Speaker 1: have been like life altering as far as the level

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Speaker 1: of this specific potential transaction that unfortunately did not pan out.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, just to help convey the level of disappointment

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Speaker 1: that we're currently dealing with here, this happened all earlier

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Speaker 1: this week, and like I said, despite all of that,

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Speaker 1: despite these grand visions and plans that we had and

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Speaker 1: goals that we had, and I feel like we even

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Speaker 1: went about that. The reason it is so frustrating especially

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Speaker 1: is because we went about things in the proper way

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Speaker 1: to where the decision made on the part of the

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Speaker 1: property owner was at She is going to be working

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Speaker 1: with somebody else, not us, despite the fact that we

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Speaker 1: were the highest bidder. Is that okay for me to

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Speaker 1: I think?

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Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I think that's fair, just because based

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Speaker 2: on you know, something personal, so you can't there was

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Speaker 2: nothing we could do because we were the highest it's bitder.

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Speaker 2: But she decided to be loyals with somebody else, which

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Speaker 2: you can't falter for. So I was like, okay, Like

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Speaker 2: in that situation, there's nothing you can do but say, okay, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Actually I actually like respect it. I respect and appreciate

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Speaker 1: where she's coming from with her whole thought process when

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Speaker 1: she explained to us, and she was very like nice

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Speaker 1: in being very open and forthcoming with her thought process

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Speaker 1: on this whole thing. But it's still incredibly frustrating to us.

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Speaker 1: You you were really bumming about it.

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Speaker 2: I was really bumming about it. And it's funny because

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Speaker 2: it brought back very similar feelings too. When we lived

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Speaker 2: in Washington, we lived on one acre in Washington, and

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Speaker 2: I loved that home and that property, and I really

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Speaker 2: wanted to stay there and make that our home. And

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Speaker 2: then there was this lot that was connected to the property,

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Speaker 2: and I thought, Okay, we've outgrown the acre, but if

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Speaker 2: we could buy those five acres next door, we can

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Speaker 2: just make this our forever home. It was my dream house.

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Speaker 2: We had done the gardens and everything, We had everything

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Speaker 2: set up exactly how we wanted it, and it was

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Speaker 2: so sustainable, like we were able to feed ourselves and

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Speaker 2: so many other families there, but we just needed a

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Speaker 2: little bit more land to you know, kind of make

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Speaker 2: the dream work. And that was the same situation of

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Speaker 2: that that person was like, yep, that's gonna work out. Okay,

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Speaker 2: give us your offer all of this stuff, and then

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Speaker 2: all of a sudden she was like nope, and she

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Speaker 2: shut the door on it, and there was nothing we

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Speaker 2: could do to change her mind. And then not only that,

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Speaker 2: she was going to sell it. And then that was

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Speaker 2: when that was our deciding factor, that Okay, we're going

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Speaker 2: to move. And it's funny because I was so devastated

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Speaker 2: by that, I thought, like all of my dreams of

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Speaker 2: like making this our forever home isn't going to work out,

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Speaker 2: and I was so devastated by it, But at the

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Speaker 2: same time that no ended up being the biggest blessing

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Speaker 2: ever because had we all the money that we put

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Speaker 2: down on this property, we would have put down on

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Speaker 2: that property. And that wasn't the forever plan. That wasn't

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Speaker 2: what God had for us. And although I wanted it

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Speaker 2: really badly and I was so sad when it didn't

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Speaker 2: work out, hindsight, it was the best thing ever. That,

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Speaker 2: like that heartbreak was the best thing ever. And I

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Speaker 2: think we see that with relationships. You know, I don't

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Speaker 2: even remember being young and then having a guy, or

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Speaker 2: not a guy but for me, a guy for you

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Speaker 2: a girl like just being like I don't want to

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Speaker 2: date you anymore, and feeling like the end of the world,

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Speaker 2: just like pleading with God like no, like like want

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Speaker 2: I want them to still love me, and all this stuff.

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Speaker 2: But it ended up being better because it's not the

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Speaker 2: person for you. So even though there's devastation in the moment.

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Speaker 1: It's about trust, right, and interesting that God has something

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Speaker 1: better in store. So as disappointed as we were, just.

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Speaker 2: A bitter pill us follow in at the time, we.

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Speaker 1: Put ourselves in a great position, and maybe we put

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Speaker 1: the kind of put the cart before the horse on

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Speaker 1: this one. Because you start, you know, you start envisioning. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was gonna say, you start envisioning, you start making

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Speaker 1: like grand plans for yourself. And a part of like,

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Speaker 1: I think goal setting for us has just always been like, hey,

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Speaker 1: if you can, if you can see it, then you

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Speaker 1: can you can you know, kind of make it happen.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think when it's really not meant to happen,

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Speaker 2: sheer will doesn't make it for sure.

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Speaker 1: Yeah you can't. Yeah, I mean you you you made

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Speaker 1: efforts and attempts to to like soften this and see

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Speaker 1: if there's something creative that could be done, and it

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Speaker 1: just wasn't. It's just not in the cards. Is I

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Speaker 1: think where we finally.

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Speaker 2: I think it's human nature though to try to to

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Speaker 2: say and no, like we have to figure out a

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Speaker 2: way we have to make this happen, but trying to

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Speaker 2: force it. Yeah, human beings can force things. And I

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Speaker 2: think if you truly trust God to lead your future,

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Speaker 2: and he's always going to do what's best for you ultimately,

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Speaker 2: if you trust him, then if you're forcing it, you're

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Speaker 2: not going to have what God has for you. It's

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Speaker 2: not going to the best situation. It could actually end

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Speaker 2: up being disastrous. And so I know that when we

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Speaker 2: look back, it's going to make sense. I just I

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Speaker 2: don't understand it right now.

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Speaker 1: Say it's one of those lean not on your own

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Speaker 1: understanding moments for us, right and in trusting that there's

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Speaker 1: something greater in store. And the reason I think you

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Speaker 1: were a little baffled is sound the way I was

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Speaker 1: reacting for you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you were like way too calm, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: why are you more upset?

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Speaker 1: And all of that stuff from them just past experience,

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Speaker 1: Like you said, our situation back in Washington State and

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Speaker 1: battle rounds where you know things gonna work off favorably.

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Speaker 1: But it's because we were meant for something else. We

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Speaker 1: end up here as a result.

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Speaker 2: Because this property was sitting here waiting for us to

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Speaker 2: find it. We had no idea.

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Speaker 1: I didn't take it as a no from from from

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Speaker 1: this lovely woman that owns the property, think it as

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Speaker 1: a no from from God and like no, there, yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's there's more hit.

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Speaker 2: It's funny because even she wrote in the text message

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Speaker 2: like God has a plan for you. Really, I was like,

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Speaker 2: you guys know that we love Equip protein. In fact,

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I didn't realize how much garbage was in the

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Speaker 1: off your first subscription. And so that just kind of

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Speaker 1: lens itself to a discussion that we started having about

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Speaker 1: happiness and contentment. I hate like pounding the word contentment

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Speaker 1: home here on the podcast because I feel like it

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Speaker 1: comes out of like every week. But truly, what is

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Speaker 1: it that will lead to happiness for us? In particular?

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Speaker 1: Not happiness because we are happy? It is I'm phrasing

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Speaker 1: this really poorly, but why is it maybe that just

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Speaker 1: we as human beings have such a difficult time finding

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Speaker 1: contentment of like, you know, what, enough is enough? I'm

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Speaker 1: happy and grateful for what it is that I have.

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Speaker 1: Why is it that we always seem to be looking

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Speaker 1: for more, searching for more?

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Speaker 2: I think that definitely. The happiest people in the world

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Speaker 2: are content like enough is enough, that you have to

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Speaker 2: decide when enough is enough, otherwise it just never is.

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Speaker 2: And I think that's evident when you look through history,

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Speaker 2: because we truly live like kings. I'm better than kings,

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Speaker 2: better than emperors. The average middle class person lives better

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Speaker 2: than the emperors of the past because of our modern

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Speaker 2: day conveniences. I mean, one hundred years ago, having hot

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Speaker 2: running water in your house was rare. In the nineteen twenties,

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Speaker 2: people didn't have I mean, there were hot water tanks

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Speaker 2: back then, but they were luxury items. Not everyone had them.

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Speaker 2: I mean, if you went to Rule America, people were

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Speaker 2: still pumping water, bringing it into their house, heating it.

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Speaker 1: With hot coils one hundred years ago.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, it wasn't until probably the forties and

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Speaker 2: fifties that people had hot running water regularly in their house,

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Speaker 2: and even a lot of people then still just had

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Speaker 2: cold water and they heated their water on the stove.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. It goes far beyond plumbing. Yeah, what's what's your

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Speaker 1: reason for bringing this up?

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Speaker 3: Though?

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Speaker 1: As far.

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Speaker 2: I just we live in the most charmed time in

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Speaker 2: the history. Yeah, I mean, how many people lived on Earth?

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Speaker 2: One hundred billion people?

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Speaker 1: Depends on who you ask, and we're there.

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Speaker 2: Dinosaurs, no have you been getting into that. But I mean,

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Speaker 2: let's say a hundred billion people have lived on Earth.

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Speaker 2: Then we live in the best time, and we live

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Speaker 2: in the most peaceful time, which seems crazy because it

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Speaker 2: feels like the world.

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Speaker 1: Is maybe a bad time. We'd be bringing that up moment,

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Speaker 1: but but.

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Speaker 2: I mean, really, especially here in America or if you

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Speaker 2: go to the UK, or you go to Australia or

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Speaker 2: something like that, we've got just turn on your shower

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Speaker 2: and stand in a hot shower and think one hundred

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Speaker 2: and fifty years ago that luxury didn't exist. You know

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Speaker 2: what they would have.

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Speaker 1: Thought of that.

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Speaker 2: I mean, just that and the caloric intake that we have nowadays,

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Speaker 2: the over abundance, Yeah, being able to go to the

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Speaker 2: supermarket and buy double stuffed oreos.

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Speaker 1: It's hard to remember, I think, especially for people like

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Speaker 1: our age and younger, that we do live in such

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Speaker 1: amazing and like relatively peaceful time Like that, there's a

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Speaker 1: lot that's happening in the world right now, which I

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Speaker 1: really don't want to touch upon because it's exhausting, but

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Speaker 1: we really do.

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Speaker 2: I mean, objectively we live where you should be the happiest,

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Speaker 2: but subjectively we are very unhappy to the human DEVI

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Speaker 2: way is it.

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Speaker 1: That everyone seems to be so freaking miserable nowadays?

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Speaker 2: I don't know that the human condition or the human

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Speaker 2: spirit can ever be satisfied. That's where I was going

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Speaker 2: frustrating to be God right, like he's got to be

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Speaker 2: like you take well, because think about raising children. When

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Speaker 2: you raise kids, it feels like truly, the more you

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Speaker 2: entertain them, the more you give them, the more experiences

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Speaker 2: you provide for them, the more unhappy, dissatisfied, and selfish

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Speaker 2: they become.

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Speaker 1: It establishes a lack of appreciation.

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Speaker 2: Right And I realized that when I had baby number one,

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Speaker 2: when I had Novea, and we lived a very simple

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Speaker 2: life in the apartment and fun was just like going

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Speaker 2: walking to the park or something like that. It was

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Speaker 2: very simple. At first, she was pretty happy and content,

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Speaker 2: and then we started putting her into activities and we

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Speaker 2: started providing all these play dates and she always wanted

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Speaker 2: to go every day. She went, where are we going

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Speaker 2: she wanted to go to Target and get a frappucino

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Speaker 2: and a popcorn and shop. And she started to have

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Speaker 2: these expectations when she was like three and four years old,

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Speaker 2: and I felt like the more I took her to do,

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Speaker 2: the more discontented she was.

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Speaker 1: The more miserable we become.

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Speaker 2: All yes, yeah, And it's not that she was a

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Speaker 2: spoiled kid. She was just human. And you see that

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Speaker 2: with everybody. The more we have, the more discontent we are.

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Speaker 2: You find the rich, famous people and they're the most unhappy.

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Speaker 1: So ultimately, when we are all very bless, unfortunate to

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Speaker 1: reach an end of life age, let's say, when we

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Speaker 1: are in our deathbeds, what is it do you think

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Speaker 1: that we will reflect upon and be ultimately grateful for?

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Speaker 2: He Well, I don't think that all old people are grateful.

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Speaker 2: I think a lot of them believe in a lot

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Speaker 2: of regret. But it all seems to circle around relationships.

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Speaker 1: Do you think you're going to be somebody who is

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Speaker 1: full of regret or do you think you're going to

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Speaker 1: be somebody who at that point in time will be

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Speaker 1: contented and grateful.

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Speaker 2: I think it depends on the trajectory of our lives

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Speaker 2: and what we focus on. That's a good point because

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Speaker 2: we're only halfway through lives. Hopefully, hopefully we're only I mean,

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Speaker 2: I hope I'm not even halfway through my life.

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Speaker 1: Well thanks for that fall.

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Speaker 2: I have a plan of living to be one hundred

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Speaker 2: and three.

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Speaker 1: So we still have time for it to go horribly

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Speaker 1: horribly wrong, is what you're saying?

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Speaker 2: Or do things correct?

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Speaker 1: Sure?

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Speaker 2: So, I mean I think we all have these choices,

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Speaker 2: and you can change it today. You can be living

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Speaker 2: wrong for sixty or seventy years and then you can

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Speaker 2: fix it. You can pick up the phone and fix it.

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Speaker 1: That's a good thing to mention. Yah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So I mean I think you can. I think

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Speaker 2: you can change the trajectory of your life on your deathbed.

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Speaker 2: You can fix it.

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Speaker 1: For sure.

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Speaker 2: You can fix those regrets. But a lot of people

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Speaker 2: are so stubborn, you know, like stubbornness, especially I think

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Speaker 2: in men. Really, I mean, there's pride that comes with

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Speaker 2: being a man, and I think it's harder with relationship.

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Speaker 2: So did you You walked in when I was doing

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Speaker 2: my makeup and I was listening to this Ted talk.

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Speaker 2: And the reason is that I've been kind of geeking

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Speaker 2: out on Diary with CEO. He's one of I like

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00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,800
Speaker 2: his podcasts. He has really interesting guests and he had

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Speaker 2: this guy on that was talking about this happiness study.

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Speaker 2: Did you do you know those studies that were done

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Speaker 2: over decades where they follow people through their whole life.

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Speaker 1: I think I've seen in reference before. Did they have

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Speaker 1: that they mentioned like the I think there's like a

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Speaker 1: community in Japan where people are really exceedingly happy and

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Speaker 1: content and they lived to a very late age in life.

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Speaker 2: I don't think study unfamiliar with different study, So there's

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Speaker 2: been different studies through time. Do you even my sister

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Speaker 2: and I were a part of one.

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Speaker 1: I've heard you mention it before. Yah. Yeah, so did

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Speaker 1: check in every now and again.

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Speaker 2: When we were kids, little kids, I think we were

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Speaker 2: maybe eight years old, eight or nine years old, somebody

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Speaker 2: came to our door and they said that they were

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Speaker 2: doing a lifelong study on happiness and what happens to kids,

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Speaker 2: and they were looking for families that had siblings because

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Speaker 2: they wanted to see what the same upbringing, how different

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Speaker 2: siblings could become. Our family would have been an interesting study.

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Speaker 2: So we participated in this study for over a decade.

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Speaker 2: Every year. They called that.

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Speaker 1: Your dad encourage you to do that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he was like, come on in this sounds kind

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Speaker 2: of interesting.

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Speaker 1: How often did they check in with you? Because I

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Speaker 1: remember that this is my attention. I think when we

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Speaker 1: were like dating, even you like explain this whole thing

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Speaker 1: to me. And then we were I think we were

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Speaker 1: driving or something one day and You're on the phone. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like half an hour. Melissa's answering all these randomly yes questions,

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Speaker 1: giving like somewhat intimate details and updates on her life.

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Speaker 1: And I kept glancing over and she got off the phone.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, who are you talking to? And She's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that was somebody calling for this life study survey thing

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Speaker 1: that I've been doing for the last few decades.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so yeah, And I think it was through Harvard University,

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Speaker 2: which ironically, this Happiness Study was also through Harvard. But

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Speaker 2: it started when we were I think eight nine years old.

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Speaker 2: We did it every year and they would fly to

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Speaker 2: our house and they would interview us alone and ask us, yeah,

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Speaker 2: pretty crazy questions, what our hopes and dreams are, how

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Speaker 2: happier we are a lot of like scale of one

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Speaker 2: to ten this and that, What are your what's your

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Speaker 2: goal for next year? What do you think like? All

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Speaker 2: kinds of questions, and the questions changed as we got older,

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Speaker 2: but they would come every year. They would fly to

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Speaker 2: our home and they would interview us in person, and

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Speaker 2: then that year, and all through college, they even came

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Speaker 2: out to my college.

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Speaker 1: Is it like every No, it's not every year.

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Speaker 2: This was annually, and then.

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Speaker 1: It hasn't been recently though.

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Speaker 2: The study must have stopped because the last time they

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Speaker 2: got ahold of me, they wanted to fly out. I

438
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,000
Speaker 2: think we were living in Las Vegas at the time.

439
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,280
Speaker 2: I think I was twenty two or twenty three, and

440
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,560
Speaker 2: then I never heard from them again because.

441
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 1: The last one I remember was that phone conversation.

442
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,960
Speaker 2: The studies tend to stop after a few decades because

443
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,119
Speaker 2: whoever is leading the study, it's usually some kind of

444
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 2: a college professor, will pass away and then he can't

445
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 2: get someone else to carry it on because it's a

446
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:58,000
Speaker 2: lot of work.

447
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:01,719
Speaker 1: But the incoming students should pick up where their predecessor

448
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:05,080
Speaker 1: left if it were like a lifelong thing. This is

449
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,600
Speaker 1: like one of those things you hear about on the

450
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 1: CBS news of like study. There is one she's one

451
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:11,560
Speaker 1: of the people.

452
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 2: And one of the people. Yeah, and I represented one

453
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:14,639
Speaker 2: hundred thousand people.

454
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:15,639
Speaker 3: Wow.

455
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:19,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, So but I think a lot of times the studies,

456
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,720
Speaker 2: it's not always just because they can't find a predecessor.

457
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 2: Sometimes so many people drop out of the study that

458
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,960
Speaker 2: it's no longer. But my sister and I both stopped

459
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:30,840
Speaker 2: being contacted on the same year, and she participated in

460
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:31,240
Speaker 2: it too.

461
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:32,600
Speaker 1: You get paid for that.

462
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:37,879
Speaker 2: We got twenty dollars. Yeah, twenty bucks. But when we

463
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:41,360
Speaker 2: were kids, twenty bucks for an hour. Heck, yeah, fly

464
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,760
Speaker 2: out here for twenty bucks, Like, will do anything for

465
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 2: twenty bucks. So yeah. The longest running study though, has

466
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,959
Speaker 2: gone on for seventy two years.

467
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:52,359
Speaker 1: Wow.

468
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:55,479
Speaker 2: And all of these guys, they were all white males,

469
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,200
Speaker 2: and half of them were Harvard students and the other

470
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,800
Speaker 2: half were for people living. White males living in Brooklyn.

471
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:04,040
Speaker 1: Why are white males?

472
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,040
Speaker 2: It was the time, it was World War two era,

473
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:11,560
Speaker 2: and they just they wanted to keep a consistent pool.

474
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:12,880
Speaker 1: It's the patriarchy at work.

475
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, And the study was on males, and in America

476
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 2: the majority were white males, and Harvard in World War two,

477
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:24,040
Speaker 2: a lot of them are going to be white males. Like,

478
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,679
Speaker 2: that's just how it was. And then in Brooklyn they

479
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 2: were probably a lot of I don't know, maybe Italians,

480
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,160
Speaker 2: I don't know, but it was more the slums of Brooklyn,

481
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:35,119
Speaker 2: so it was really low income people living in Brooklyn.

482
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:39,320
Speaker 2: And then it was Harvard students. And a lot of

483
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:42,040
Speaker 2: the study was really interesting with the Brooklyn group because

484
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 2: a lot of them went on to be doctors, some

485
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:49,399
Speaker 2: of them ended up being factory workers. There were like

486
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 2: five that ended up being schizophrenics that were institutionalized. And

487
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:57,479
Speaker 2: so right now I think there's still thirty seven of

488
00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:00,920
Speaker 2: them alive and they're still studying them. And the cool

489
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,800
Speaker 2: thing is that a bunch of them donated their brains

490
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:05,639
Speaker 2: to the study after.

491
00:23:05,359 --> 00:23:07,920
Speaker 1: They passed some dedication right there, So they have like.

492
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:11,239
Speaker 2: These brains on a shelf. They have forty brains. And

493
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:14,080
Speaker 2: the crazy thing is is normally when brains are donated

494
00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:17,280
Speaker 2: to science, they have Alzheimer's or brain tumors or things

495
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:19,960
Speaker 2: like that, reasons to study the brain what's gone wrong,

496
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:21,919
Speaker 2: But there was nothing wrong with these brains.

497
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:23,920
Speaker 1: So all was established in this study. I mean, what

498
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 1: is it that they were asking them and what are

499
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:26,600
Speaker 1: they determined?

500
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:32,359
Speaker 2: They determined that what determined the level of happiness and

501
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:38,040
Speaker 2: satisfaction in life was relationships. Only relationships and primarily the

502
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 2: relationships people had, not with friends, but with their spouse

503
00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 2: was number one. Of course, with their children it was

504
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,959
Speaker 2: number two, and then just extended family.

505
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,200
Speaker 1: That's not surprising, Yeah, so that it seems so simple

506
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:52,760
Speaker 1: and obvious, right.

507
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 2: But it's not what people focus on. So they just

508
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,320
Speaker 2: did a poll with millennials, which is our demo, and

509
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,960
Speaker 2: then a little bit younger than us. We're elder or millennials.

510
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 2: So you know, what is millennials like thirty currently?

511
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 1: I think you're up to like age forty four maybe,

512
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 1: but all the way down to.

513
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 2: Like a thirty year old chure, so like thirty to

514
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:16,480
Speaker 2: forty five. Let's say they interviewed them not long ago

515
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,280
Speaker 2: and they said, what is your number one goal? And

516
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,440
Speaker 2: the number one goal is sixty five percent of the

517
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 2: people said they wanted to be rich, and then the

518
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:26,879
Speaker 2: number two goal, fifty percent said they wanted to be

519
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:27,880
Speaker 2: famous or known.

520
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,160
Speaker 1: What can you attribute all of that to.

521
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:32,959
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522
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:36,679
Speaker 1: There's so much junk on streaming television and the internet.

523
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524
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529
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579
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Speaker 1: so what is it that we're setting ourselves up for

580
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:53,880
Speaker 1: long term? And this is like you and I are

581
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:57,120
Speaker 1: both very aware of this because we have a lot

582
00:26:57,119 --> 00:26:59,240
Speaker 1: of frustrations with people our age.

583
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,399
Speaker 2: It's got to be with the younger group.

584
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,200
Speaker 1: We have always said that, like older people are our people.

585
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 1: We've always said that because we just seem to be

586
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,400
Speaker 1: more like minded than a lot of people that are age.

587
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:12,719
Speaker 1: And like, I just listened to so somebody Else's podcast

588
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:14,760
Speaker 1: and they were talking about how millennials are basically getting

589
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,359
Speaker 1: screwed over in the economy and when it is that

590
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:18,879
Speaker 1: we came up and all that and all of the

591
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 1: signs and symptoms that they were laying and I'm like, Okay,

592
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 1: I don't feel like as though I've been affected by

593
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,359
Speaker 1: that in any way. So obviously there's there was a

594
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,199
Speaker 1: means to an end here. So I don't know why

595
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 1: it is that we're playing the victim card, you know

596
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:31,040
Speaker 1: what I mean?

597
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 2: Good place that the young people play the victim card too.

598
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:35,359
Speaker 2: They're like, all their American dream is.

599
00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:37,239
Speaker 1: Dead, because it serves as an excuse. It serves as

600
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 1: like a fallback of like, oh, did things not work

601
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:40,920
Speaker 1: out favorably for you? Don't worry about it. It's not

602
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:42,639
Speaker 1: your fault. We've talked about this before. Let's not be

603
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 1: a dead horseship.

604
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 2: No, that's a sign of immaturity.

605
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 1: Blaming somebody else. Yeah, yeah, they're.

606
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 2: Saying that's the number one sign of immaturity in an adult.

607
00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:53,080
Speaker 2: It's not my fault, or yeah.

608
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 1: There's nobody wants to take personal accountability for the way

609
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:57,800
Speaker 1: that things work out in their life. If it worked

610
00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 1: out negatively, r anyway.

611
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, if it worked at negative it works out positively,

612
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 2: then people are usually like yeah.

613
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:05,360
Speaker 1: So many people were age affixiated on the wrong things,

614
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:06,720
Speaker 1: and we were kind of in the age where when

615
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,959
Speaker 1: we were entering adulthood, we were coming up in this

616
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 1: new social media era, and yeah it ruined things.

617
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, it ruined things for a lot of females.

618
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 2: It really ruined things. It ruined motherhood to tell when

619
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:22,719
Speaker 2: and mothers to suppress their natural instinct to be with

620
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 2: their children and that that's enough and that that's actually

621
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 2: a beautiful, fulfilling life. Instead, it was when we were

622
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:32,680
Speaker 2: in school, like what are you going to be? What

623
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 2: college are you going to go to? It was just

624
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:36,000
Speaker 2: a given that you were going to go to college.

625
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:39,239
Speaker 2: I felt like I had to pick a career. I

626
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 2: had to pick something. It was like the game of

627
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 2: life where it's like, well, I got to pick something,

628
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:48,240
Speaker 2: I had to do something. And really, all I was

629
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:50,160
Speaker 2: trying to do was find a career that would allow

630
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 2: me to still be a mother instead of just focusing

631
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:54,040
Speaker 2: on being a mother.

632
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,360
Speaker 1: Sure, that's the reason you saw you picked teaching, though, Now.

633
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 2: I picked teaching because I thought, well, I could work

634
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:00,880
Speaker 2: at a private school, or I could maybe open my

635
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 2: own school, and then I can drive my kids to school,

636
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:04,560
Speaker 2: I can be in the same building with them, and

637
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 2: then I can drive them home from school and will

638
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 2: always be together. So my plan was always to be

639
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:13,440
Speaker 2: the you know, mama goose walking with my wings around

640
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 2: my babies. That was always my plan.

641
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 1: I guess I'm just bothered by the superficiality of it all.

642
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,720
Speaker 1: Is that a word, superficiality? It makes sense, you know

643
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about?

644
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:21,680
Speaker 2: Right?

645
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 1: Everybody becomes has become so fixated on like material possessions

646
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:28,719
Speaker 1: or status is the one that really bothers me. Everybody

647
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:31,040
Speaker 1: wants to feel important and ugued by other people.

648
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:31,880
Speaker 2: Take it till you make it.

649
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 1: Which I've never really understood. Ironic as that is, with

650
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,080
Speaker 1: us being on here doing what we do, I just

651
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,520
Speaker 1: I don't like I just leave me alone. Is kind

652
00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 1: of my preference in real life. In reality I'm saying anyway,

653
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 1: I I don't care to be looked at or treated

654
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 1: or to be perceived in a certain way.

655
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:48,720
Speaker 2: You don't need to be the important guy in the room.

656
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 1: No, not at all, which is why you and I

657
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 1: are such a wallflowers. We'll go hang out in the

658
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 1: corner and we don't feel this need to. You ever

659
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 1: had the experience of like having a one on one

660
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 1: conversation with with anyone, but especially with somebody news where

661
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 1: you can you can really feel and pick up on

662
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 1: your receptive to the fact that they're constantly trying to

663
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 1: like one up you on every everything.

664
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, there's people like that that feel like they.

665
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:15,480
Speaker 1: Need to I'm approaching this from an an area of superiority. Yeah. Yeah,

666
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:17,800
Speaker 1: that's always really bothered me. I've never been that person,

667
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:19,680
Speaker 1: And whenever I experienced that, whenever I'm on the like

668
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 1: the receiving end of that, I'm like, what, like, what

669
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 1: are we doing here?

670
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,480
Speaker 2: Can't we just quiet in situations like that? Or You'll

671
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 2: just retract from the conversation. I'll see you kind of

672
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:30,640
Speaker 2: wander away. That's enough, Like you'll like shake a full beer,

673
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 2: like I better go get another one.

674
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 1: You'll can deal. I'm not. I'm not getting into the

675
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 1: pissing match that somebody has just met, you know, like

676
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 1: cool you do cool things that's awesome that I don't.

677
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,640
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not competing with you right now in

678
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 1: this moment, brother.

679
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 2: I get awkward, and then I'll say really inappropriate things

680
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,360
Speaker 2: in situations like that. You've seen me do it. Yeah,

681
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 2: I'm just like, oh, yeah, well.

682
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 1: It's a good thing we found each other. And this

683
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:54,080
Speaker 1: is the reason that like we're so oftentimes very uncomfortable

684
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 1: talking about ourselves. And I understand the irony of bringing

685
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 1: that up on a podcast where we talk primarily about ourselves,

686
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 1: but with these real life interactions, I just yeah, I

687
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 1: have a hard time with it. I'm glad you and

688
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 1: I found each other because we do have that in common,

689
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 1: and it's most definitely been something that I think is

690
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 1: more prevalent in our generation. I feel like older folks

691
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,720
Speaker 1: played that game because it wasn't as important.

692
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 2: It doesn't seem like it. They seem like they can

693
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 2: just sit there and have a normal conversation. Even when

694
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:21,920
Speaker 2: I was young, I would gravitate to older people at

695
00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 2: a time.

696
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean too every time.

697
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, and people feel like quite a nice little girl.

698
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 2: Like when I was seventy eight years old, I would

699
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:30,120
Speaker 2: sit there and talk with the older people. I always

700
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 2: preferred the adult table because I like the conversation was

701
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 2: more cool.

702
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 1: As I always tell you, is my favorite person in

703
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 1: your family?

704
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 2: Oh my grandma?

705
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 1: Your grandma?

706
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,960
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, she's such a loss. She lived to be

707
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 2: one hundred years old, and she was gritty to the end,

708
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 2: super funny, very inappropriate public.

709
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,960
Speaker 1: No, I'm gonna believe this out That lady was normalalkhit. Yes,

710
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:53,840
Speaker 1: I loved her for it. Like I was like, thank God,

711
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 1: there's somebody willing to tell it like it is. Oh

712
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 1: she did.

713
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 2: She told it like it was, and to everybody, to

714
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 2: her own children, to her grandchildren. If you were messing up,

715
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 2: Grandma's going to tell you.

716
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 1: And I feel like she and I like, like this simpotical,

717
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:07,960
Speaker 1: like same connection. She likes me a lot because I

718
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,480
Speaker 1: think I was the same. We had a lot in common,

719
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:12,120
Speaker 1: which is biz our Like me as a thirty year

720
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 1: old had all this in common with like this, you know,

721
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 1: ninety five year old woman. But I respected her tremendous

722
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 1: issue is so great and I loved her for that.

723
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 1: That characteristic in particular and something that's lacking in people.

724
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, the realness is harder to find out. And I

725
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 2: do blame the internet too, because like you have to

726
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:29,400
Speaker 2: put on this front, in this this face, and you

727
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 2: want to be liked and everything. If you want followers,

728
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:34,040
Speaker 2: you have to be liked. And if you're just your

729
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:37,880
Speaker 2: true weird self, like, there's gonna be people that you

730
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 2: know that will follow you and you'll find your fellow

731
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 2: weirdos and we can wave our weirdo flag. But there's

732
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 2: a lot of people that are going to be like

733
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 2: those people are really weird and and like they're off

734
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 2: the wall, or they have you know, other conspiracy theorists

735
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:53,560
Speaker 2: and whatever, and I'm like, let's fit these metal hats

736
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:54,040
Speaker 2: and see.

737
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. So it's just this is this is the reason

738
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 1: where such hermits. Literally it frustrates me about just today's

739
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 1: end asian what it is that people value because we

740
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:05,680
Speaker 1: are our values are very different from most. Yeah, I don't.

741
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 1: I don't.

742
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm quite at a party unless I hear

743
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 2: like another mom be like so the clouds are fake,

744
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:11,520
Speaker 2: Then I'm like.

745
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:15,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's talk.

746
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 2: So yeah, I mean I can.

747
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:20,600
Speaker 1: Find it weird to talk my truck at the police department. Oh,

748
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 1: I'd be in this group of like twenty to forty

749
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:24,840
Speaker 1: five year old guys. All of them are like you know,

750
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 1: hyper macheesemo, and I'm like, I'm not. I'm not trying

751
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 1: to I'm not competing with anybody around. I feel like

752
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:31,680
Speaker 1: I need to compete with anyone here. And everybody was

753
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 1: it was all about what they had or like what

754
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 1: kind of vehicle they were driving, like all this new

755
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 1: truck or I want to get this new jeep, or

756
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 1: I go do this, I have this cool boat. We

757
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:40,280
Speaker 1: never had any of that my nine hundred dollars truck,

758
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:42,280
Speaker 1: and I was perfectly content with that because what I

759
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 1: valued was a long term vision that I was trying

760
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,479
Speaker 1: to bring to fruition for myself and my family.

761
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 2: That was it, right. That's why when those visions don't

762
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 2: work out, it's you work so hard for them. But yeah,

763
00:33:55,200 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 2: I think it's it's just relationships weren't.

764
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 1: Pre to us. Community was community was.

765
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:08,319
Speaker 2: But not family like, not the family relationship, not the

766
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 2: core family, not the do.

767
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:12,839
Speaker 1: I need to instill in you the warmth of collectivism?

768
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:14,719
Speaker 1: Once again we reference and alluded to this last.

769
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:21,560
Speaker 2: We prefer the frigid individualism. I despicable, I know, so,

770
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:26,800
Speaker 2: I just the American family. There's nothing frigid or individual

771
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:30,319
Speaker 2: about focusing on your own little family. That's where the

772
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:33,880
Speaker 2: happiness and satisfaction is. Go home and focus on your

773
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:34,920
Speaker 2: own little family.

774
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,520
Speaker 1: You don't only focus on your family.

775
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:39,800
Speaker 2: But you should put most of your energy.

776
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're predominant focused, for sure, and I think that Unfortunately,

777
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 1: again with people on our demographic, that's that hasn't been

778
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:49,239
Speaker 1: the case. Yeah, And I think it sets so many

779
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:52,759
Speaker 1: people up for a life of misery and regret. You know,

780
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:54,880
Speaker 1: plug a lot of people that are in you know,

781
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:57,839
Speaker 1: our same age demographic again on their deathbed, I think

782
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 1: they will be looking back with tremendous sense of regret because.

783
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,880
Speaker 2: The money you made you can't take with you with you.

784
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:07,320
Speaker 2: None of it's going to matter. The big business deals,

785
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 2: the big the awards you might win, or the status

786
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:13,400
Speaker 2: you might have, or this feeling of pride at work,

787
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,720
Speaker 2: or none of that's going to matter.

788
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 1: Should spend more time when my kids, should have spent

789
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:21,759
Speaker 1: more quality time with my wife, should have pursued you know,

790
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:24,719
Speaker 1: these experiences or these goals that I have for myself.

791
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:27,160
Speaker 1: I think those are the things that will ultimately matter.

792
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:29,800
Speaker 2: Ultimately? Is there anything more important than who your children

793
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:33,440
Speaker 2: become like? More so than who we become at the

794
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:36,080
Speaker 2: end of our lives. Who are children become and how

795
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 2: happy they are matters far more than anything we could

796
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:45,360
Speaker 2: ever achieve in any other place. And I just wish

797
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 2: young parents, or I hope young parents, realize that they

798
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:55,239
Speaker 2: are raising the only thing that's going to matter in

799
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:58,319
Speaker 2: the end, and you put all of your energy and

800
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 2: all of your focus there, because you're going to wish

801
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:06,120
Speaker 2: that you did everything you could to make sure that

802
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:08,640
Speaker 2: they're happy and successful and set up. And you can

803
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:13,960
Speaker 2: do that wrong. And we've experienced that. You can over spoil,

804
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 2: you know, you can. You can over fluffy their life.

805
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 2: You can make things too easy to where you can

806
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 2: also have kids failing to thrive. And I think our

807
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:28,200
Speaker 2: generation does that. Also. The parents that are extra like, Okay,

808
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:30,440
Speaker 2: we're going to parent, We're going to do this is

809
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:32,759
Speaker 2: going to be amazing, and they have like all the

810
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:35,719
Speaker 2: little charts and chores and they're setting things out and

811
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 2: you're getting everything set up for your kids, then you

812
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:38,879
Speaker 2: raise weak kids.

813
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 1: I think that's two offsets. The way in which so

814
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:43,360
Speaker 1: many of us were raised in the eighties and nineties

815
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 1: to Laski kids and it was like, hey, you're on

816
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,279
Speaker 1: your own, find for yourself, figure it out, you know

817
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,920
Speaker 1: what I mean. And that's that's too bad because I

818
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:53,080
Speaker 1: do think that there's so much to be gained. Yeah,

819
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:55,520
Speaker 1: you need that type of upbringing, you do. You need grid.

820
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:57,360
Speaker 1: But one of my biggest concerns is a parent I

821
00:36:57,360 --> 00:36:59,359
Speaker 1: brought this up to you privately, is like we've made

822
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:00,880
Speaker 1: life too easy.

823
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's just very calmon well, and it's

824
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:05,840
Speaker 2: very easy to do in today's day and age, because.

825
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 1: Because it's a mobile thing, you want, like what's the

826
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:08,440
Speaker 1: best for your kids. You want to provide for your

827
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:09,280
Speaker 1: busy You want.

828
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 2: To give them the best food. You want them to

829
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:12,359
Speaker 2: have hot meals when they walk through the door.

830
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,120
Speaker 1: To that discussion we were just having, are you setting

831
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:15,840
Speaker 1: them up for misery? Are you setting them up for

832
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 1: like it's to where everything becomes a letdown and they

833
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 1: have a total lack of appreciation for things. I think

834
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 1: that's that's a serious risk that needs to be considered.

835
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, do you set them up for misery? Because if

836
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:28,880
Speaker 2: they don't value anything because everything's just come so easy. Oh,

837
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,920
Speaker 2: I left my shoes out and they got ruined, and

838
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:32,759
Speaker 2: so mom just bought me new ones on Amazon and

839
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,920
Speaker 2: they're here in forty eight hours. Here's my new shoes.

840
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:36,720
Speaker 2: Like there's no repercussions.

841
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 1: That's a trap.

842
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 2: Yes, then they don't value anything and then nothing ultimately

843
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:42,840
Speaker 2: makes them happy.

844
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 1: Yeah.

845
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:47,880
Speaker 2: But again, so you have to teach your children, You

846
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:51,320
Speaker 2: have to teach yourself to focus on relationships not stuff.

847
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 1: This is why we want to talk to you guys

848
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:56,839
Speaker 1: about depriving children of things. This was watching the Ruby

849
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:58,400
Speaker 1: Frine and like the latest installment of.

850
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 2: The room, don't be Ruby Frankie, don't be.

851
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 1: Ruby franky, but maybe maybe be measured in your approach,

852
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,759
Speaker 1: is all I'm saying. Yeah, and this is all a

853
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:09,400
Speaker 1: very roundabout way of discussing happiness as a whole with

854
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 1: you guys and the kind of week that was for us.

855
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 1: It started with very disappointing news, but I'm actually very

856
00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 1: proud of our outlook and response based on experience and faith.

857
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:25,040
Speaker 2: I'm proud of your outlook and response. Thank you ied

858
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:26,239
Speaker 2: around for forty eight hours.

859
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 1: I love that was you know, and whatever. Yeah, it's disappointing,

860
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 1: but I feel like we've reached a point, like we've

861
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:34,799
Speaker 1: we've lived and learned enough now to where we have

862
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:36,920
Speaker 1: enough experience to look back upon and draw from to

863
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 1: be like, no, okay.

864
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, And in true Melissa fashion, I still tried one

865
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:43,239
Speaker 2: more Hail Mary to try to make it work.

866
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:44,239
Speaker 1: We're still waiting to hear it.

867
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:46,640
Speaker 2: We're still waiting to hear back, so let you know.

868
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:49,719
Speaker 1: But as nice as that would be, it's still not

869
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 1: the original talent and vision that we had. So you know,

870
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 1: you can make all the plans that you want, it

871
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 1: is not our plan that ultimately.

872
00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 2: I'm like a kid, were like, I feel like you

873
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:03,839
Speaker 2: beg and beg to have the sleepover, and then your

874
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:05,840
Speaker 2: mom and dad are like no, and then you just

875
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,520
Speaker 2: have like one last attempt. I feel like God's just

876
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 2: gonna be like no, no, No, don't ask me again.

877
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:14,719
Speaker 1: So we'll see where it goes. And of course we

878
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:16,279
Speaker 1: will keep you guys up data, whether it be here

879
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,239
Speaker 1: on the podcast, whatever, on a good simple thing. And

880
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:21,440
Speaker 1: if it's a no, it's a no. It is what

881
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:21,839
Speaker 1: it is.

882
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna be really surprised if God's like, fine,

883
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:27,360
Speaker 2: I just don't. I mean, I think he said no,

884
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:31,760
Speaker 2: so she'd probably just know what's an answer, mama.

885
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:35,320
Speaker 1: Let's shift gears, shall we and discuss this very interesting

886
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:37,240
Speaker 1: story that I reference here at the beginning of the podcast,

887
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 1: where this grown woman and her husband go up on

888
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 1: stage at church to confront and essentially out to their

889
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:46,000
Speaker 1: entire congregation the fact that she, the female half of

890
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 1: this relationship, had a sexual relationship with their pastor, who

891
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:55,719
Speaker 1: was just giving this testimony about basically how he had

892
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:57,759
Speaker 1: screwed up at one point in time. We'll show you

893
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:00,000
Speaker 1: the actual clip. I'll splice this up we will react

894
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 1: live to it and allows you guys to react at

895
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 1: home as well, because I'm very curious to see whether

896
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 1: or not you react in the same way that we did.

897
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:11,239
Speaker 1: But before jumping into that, Mama, let's touch upon Brave

898
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 1: Books here real quick.

899
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, so maybe bi Ludo has been out for six

900
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 2: weeks now. I've gotten so much feedback now from all

901
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,760
Speaker 2: of you guys. I've had a lot of people say

902
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:22,840
Speaker 2: this is the first book that my grandchild had and

903
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 2: they absolutely love it, and we've read it a hundred times.

904
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:27,719
Speaker 2: We've been doing so much reading and that makes my

905
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 2: heart so happy because speaking of just relationships with your

906
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:35,800
Speaker 2: children and your families and having memories that last reading

907
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:37,880
Speaker 2: to your kids and to your grandkids is one of

908
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:40,520
Speaker 2: the things that they will always remember. And you can't

909
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:43,759
Speaker 2: have just one book. So if you join Brave's Book

910
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:45,879
Speaker 2: of the Month club, you are going to get the

911
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,880
Speaker 2: best books. They are so exciting and they have this

912
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:53,040
Speaker 2: ongoing storyline, and then every single one teaches a life lesson,

913
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:57,399
Speaker 2: whether it's humility or it's bravery. And I just think

914
00:40:57,440 --> 00:41:00,520
Speaker 2: that that is so important because it is really difficult

915
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:02,280
Speaker 2: to find books that you don't have to worry about

916
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:05,840
Speaker 2: nowadays because there's so much agenda that's put into children's books.

917
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 2: With Brave, you never have to worry about that. Not

918
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,239
Speaker 2: only are they amazing, but they come every single month,

919
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:13,719
Speaker 2: so you can read a book and just really enjoy

920
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 2: it for a month, and then every single month you're

921
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 2: gonna get a new one. And then at the back

922
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:21,360
Speaker 2: of all of the Brave books there are discussion topics,

923
00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:24,319
Speaker 2: so you can just pick topics based off the moral

924
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:25,839
Speaker 2: that you learned in the book, and then you can

925
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,759
Speaker 2: talk about it at dinnertime. So then you've got this

926
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 2: great dinner conversation which let's bring families back together around

927
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:34,880
Speaker 2: the dinner table, and then we've got our bedtime story.

928
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:35,440
Speaker 1: I love it.

929
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:38,240
Speaker 2: I just think it's so cool. I've been loving the feedback.

930
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:40,319
Speaker 2: I really hope that you guys go and check out

931
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:42,439
Speaker 2: Brave Books, join the Book of the Month Club. You're

932
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:45,400
Speaker 2: not gonna be sorry. They're so amazing. We may be

933
00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 2: doing a part two see.

934
00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:48,959
Speaker 1: Brave Book number two coming soon.

935
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna start talking about it for sure.

936
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:53,800
Speaker 2: So when you join Brave Book of the Month Club,

937
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:55,399
Speaker 2: and you can do that by clicking the link below

938
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:58,319
Speaker 2: or going to bravebooks dot com slash at GSL. They

939
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,560
Speaker 2: are going to donate twenty dollars to the Childhood Cancer Coalition.

940
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:04,400
Speaker 2: For every single subscription, you're also going to get a

941
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:07,000
Speaker 2: free copy of Made to Be Ludo and your first

942
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 2: book will come in the mail very shortly.

943
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 1: There you go, Ray Books, guys, go check them out.

944
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:13,720
Speaker 1: We will include the link down below. Like Melissa mentioned,

945
00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 1: and big thanks and gratitude to all of you out there,

946
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:19,080
Speaker 1: not only for helping to support OHS and Melissa with

947
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:21,600
Speaker 1: this book effort in this past year, but just all

948
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 1: the feedback, the messages we've been getting have been awesome.

949
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:25,360
Speaker 2: It's been so fun.

950
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 1: A couple of even let us know that you're seeing

951
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:30,840
Speaker 1: Melissa's book in the background on other YouTube channels, like

952
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 1: other people's channels and videos, which is really really cool,

953
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:34,799
Speaker 1: the fact that you have that kind of broad reach.

954
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 1: Mussle is the number one best seller.

955
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 2: I was, I was for one day. I'll take it.

956
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:42,440
Speaker 1: What category was it? It was?

957
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:46,479
Speaker 2: Oh there were two categories. One was new release dog

958
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:51,720
Speaker 2: books and the other was new release children self esteem books.

959
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 1: I love it.

960
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 2: I love it.

961
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 1: I love it not obscurity. Thank you.

962
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 2: There's so many categories, but I'll take it.

963
00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:00,279
Speaker 1: Okay, let's jump into this video here showing.

964
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:03,040
Speaker 4: She's the woman who bravely outed the pastor who she

965
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:06,360
Speaker 4: says molested her when she was a teenager. Her husband

966
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 4: never knew that the man who married them had allegedly

967
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:12,399
Speaker 4: abused his wife for years until just a few weeks ago.

968
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 4: And today her husband describes his shock and anger.

969
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:19,520
Speaker 5: The husband of the woman who stood before her entire

970
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:22,640
Speaker 5: church and accused the pastor of having sex with her.

971
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:25,839
Speaker 5: You did things to my teenage body that had never

972
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:29,240
Speaker 5: and should have never been done. Nate Geppard stood side

973
00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:30,920
Speaker 5: by side with his wife, Bobby.

974
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 3: What he did to her was completely evil and satanic.

975
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:37,560
Speaker 5: The forty three year old mom of four says pastor

976
00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 5: John Lowe began grooming her when she was fourteen, and.

977
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:45,440
Speaker 1: Took Okay, so far, this sounds pretty awful, great, horrific,

978
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 1: which which I mean. I'm not trying to deny that

979
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:49,720
Speaker 1: it is not. I think that's exactly what it is. However,

980
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:52,920
Speaker 1: my reaction to this, as the story continued, is what

981
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:55,319
Speaker 1: it is that we're hoping to discuss here.

982
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:59,800
Speaker 5: Her virginity when she turned sixteen, Bobby says, the sexual

983
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:01,800
Speaker 5: real relationship lasted nine years.

984
00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 1: Okay, this is the part that got me and you correct, Yeah,

985
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:10,839
Speaker 1: not exactly what you had made like things made out

986
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 1: to be in your mind.

987
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 2: I was thinking that this was like this girl had

988
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:17,319
Speaker 2: been victimized as a child and now she's coming out.

989
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:20,440
Speaker 1: She was persistent for nine years. Yeah, does that changings

990
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:25,239
Speaker 1: for you? I mean, this was, yeah, long term relationship.

991
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:29,200
Speaker 2: So if it started when she was sixteen and then

992
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:31,640
Speaker 2: it lasted for nine years she was twenty five years old,

993
00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:34,840
Speaker 2: it said it lasted till she got married. So basically

994
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:39,919
Speaker 2: she continued this relationship with a married man and her

995
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,680
Speaker 2: pastor until she got married at the age of twenty five.

996
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 1: So this story starts out with okay, pastor is victimizing

997
00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:49,279
Speaker 1: and is very predatory toward a sixteen year old within

998
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:54,680
Speaker 1: his congregation. Awful, horrible, straight up evil, as the husband suggested.

999
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:58,000
Speaker 1: And then things evolve and you get more information, and

1000
00:44:58,040 --> 00:44:59,920
Speaker 1: when you hear that it's persisted for nine years, does

1001
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:04,200
Speaker 1: take away from the initial act that was very predatory nature?

1002
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:10,480
Speaker 2: It made me go, wait, what because sixteen is obviously

1003
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:15,239
Speaker 2: a minor it's I mean apparently in this state stat Yeah,

1004
00:45:16,239 --> 00:45:19,799
Speaker 2: age of consents, so it wasn't a crime. But to me,

1005
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:22,400
Speaker 2: it just sounds like a teenager that had an affair

1006
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:23,319
Speaker 2: with a married man.

1007
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:26,319
Speaker 1: Was a pastor married? Did I missed that party?

1008
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:28,280
Speaker 2: Yes, he was married. He said that he had an affair,

1009
00:45:28,719 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 2: so and then and then this guy continued. This continued

1010
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:35,560
Speaker 2: for nine years until she felt adult enough to get married.

1011
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:38,439
Speaker 2: If you're adult enough to get married, you're adult enough

1012
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 2: to know what you're doing is wrong.

1013
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:41,839
Speaker 1: Okay, I think maybe we're jumping ahead a little bit

1014
00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 1: here with all the story. Can we keep playing it?

1015
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:48,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, she met her husband incredibly. Pastor Lowe even officiated

1016
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:51,279
Speaker 5: at their two thousand and four wedding, and she never

1017
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:55,399
Speaker 5: told Nate about the relationship until just last month.

1018
00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:57,480
Speaker 1: Okay, this is the other problem I have with this.

1019
00:45:57,600 --> 00:45:59,520
Speaker 1: Why would this not come up prior to this guy

1020
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:01,880
Speaker 1: officiated in your wedding? Can you imagine being in this

1021
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:02,560
Speaker 1: dude's shoes.

1022
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 2: She's either got some verrnmental things going on from like

1023
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:10,759
Speaker 2: he's controlling her in some way.

1024
00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 1: Do you think it's just a shameful thing on her

1025
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:14,399
Speaker 1: fart like she didn't want to bring this up, I'd

1026
00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 1: be I mean, yeah, that would be so livid. Hold

1027
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 1: on a second. You just tell me about this. Now,

1028
00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 1: you tell me the guy that officiated our wedding is

1029
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 1: somebody that you had a nine year relationship with that

1030
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:26,840
Speaker 1: was sexual in nature. And then now are you just

1031
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:28,400
Speaker 1: falling back on the fact that it began when you

1032
00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 1: were sixteen? You're trying to use that as the reason

1033
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 1: for like trying to smooth this whole thing, you know

1034
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:33,359
Speaker 1: what I mean?

1035
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:35,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, And like, I don't want to shame the woman

1036
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:39,040
Speaker 2: in the situation, but I also do not feel like

1037
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:41,480
Speaker 2: after the age of eighteen or nineteen, the less he

1038
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 2: was threatening her life or something like that, that she's

1039
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:49,319
Speaker 2: an innocent party in it. And so it in a

1040
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:51,840
Speaker 2: I mean, I would not say that it's unfair, like

1041
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:55,080
Speaker 2: he deserves everything that comes at him, but she's also

1042
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:58,240
Speaker 2: non innocent party. At twenty four to twenty five years old,

1043
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:01,000
Speaker 2: sleeping with a married man was crazy about and then

1044
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:06,200
Speaker 2: a mission is lying to your future husband. You started

1045
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:07,960
Speaker 2: having an affair with a married man when you were

1046
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:11,560
Speaker 2: in high school, you continued it through adulthood and let

1047
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:14,560
Speaker 2: him marry, and then you let Like at any point

1048
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 2: in time she could have said I'm not comfortable with

1049
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:19,000
Speaker 2: this pastor let's get married. Let's be lope.

1050
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:21,120
Speaker 1: You know, like something in the world there should be

1051
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:23,640
Speaker 1: officiated your wedding. Bring up?

1052
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:26,799
Speaker 2: Right, and how did it come to light? Did she

1053
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:29,759
Speaker 2: just fess up or did somebody else bring it up?

1054
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:30,840
Speaker 1: Okay, let's continue.

1055
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 3: And I just started sobbing, crying. I went outside. I

1056
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:37,239
Speaker 3: threw a chair. I probably used every cuss word in

1057
00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 3: the in the in the book.

1058
00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:41,200
Speaker 5: After Low was confronted with the allegations, he made what

1059
00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:44,080
Speaker 5: Bobby and Nate saw as a half hearted confession.

1060
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:47,719
Speaker 1: I committed adults. It was nearly twenty years ago.

1061
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 5: He got a standing ovation. But Bobby and Nate were.

1062
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:57,200
Speaker 1: Feeling okay, so I get their frustration in this moment,

1063
00:47:58,960 --> 00:47:59,880
Speaker 1: but it's just weird to me.

1064
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:03,759
Speaker 2: Yes, but she is still the other woman, even if

1065
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:06,880
Speaker 2: she was young, Like, I just don't think sixteen is

1066
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:12,440
Speaker 2: it's too young. Obviously she was victimized at sixteen, but

1067
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:14,800
Speaker 2: at the same.

1068
00:48:14,080 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 1: The state governments it's apparently not too young.

1069
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:21,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I understand that. But when you're in your twenties,

1070
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:25,359
Speaker 2: twenty to twenty five years old, and you're continuing this,

1071
00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:30,600
Speaker 2: it's a relationship. You're in a long term relationship. You're

1072
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:32,719
Speaker 2: now the other woman. When you're in your twenties, you're

1073
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:33,439
Speaker 2: now the other woman.

1074
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:37,360
Speaker 1: Okay, So him divulging this to his congregation is actually

1075
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:40,359
Speaker 1: what sparked this male and female this couple took her

1076
00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 1: up on stage and.

1077
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:46,440
Speaker 2: On stage like, can you imagine being in that congregation

1078
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 2: that Sunday, You'd feel.

1079
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:48,839
Speaker 1: Like, you know, people were eating this up.

1080
00:48:49,080 --> 00:48:50,640
Speaker 2: They're just sitting there with the donuts, like.

1081
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so glad I came this week.

1082
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:56,760
Speaker 5: That's when Bobby and Nate decided to rush the stage.

1083
00:48:57,200 --> 00:48:57,759
Speaker 2: I was just.

1084
00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:01,320
Speaker 5: Sixteen when you took my virginity on your office floor?

1085
00:49:01,719 --> 00:49:03,040
Speaker 1: Specific? Do you remember that?

1086
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 2: I know you how brave is your wife?

1087
00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:06,759
Speaker 3: She's the bravest woman.

1088
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:07,040
Speaker 4: I know.

1089
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:11,760
Speaker 2: I'm getting uncomfortable, Yeah, I'm uncomfortable with the whole story,

1090
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 2: Like if she had said this happened from the time

1091
00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:15,920
Speaker 2: that I was sixteen to eighteen.

1092
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:17,280
Speaker 1: Why are we being so specific?

1093
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:17,400
Speaker 2: Right?

1094
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:18,960
Speaker 1: Or did it just me? This is this is why

1095
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:20,279
Speaker 1: I wanted to play this and discuss this.

1096
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:21,759
Speaker 2: Oh you mean like why shoot? Yeah?

1097
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:24,239
Speaker 1: Why why is it so oddly specific? Why are you

1098
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:27,160
Speaker 1: divulging like details That's something you would.

1099
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,720
Speaker 2: Say maybe and not in front of an entire Congress,

1100
00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 2: and there's got to be children on her office floor, okay, right,

1101
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:35,239
Speaker 2: there has to be children in that congregation too.

1102
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 1: Like, I'm not victim shaming. I'm not saying that what

1103
00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:39,239
Speaker 1: he did was right. I'm saying that what is transpiring

1104
00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:40,040
Speaker 1: now is just odd.

1105
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:44,399
Speaker 2: Again. Had it ended when she was like eighteen, even

1106
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:47,560
Speaker 2: nineteen years old, I'll even give her twenty yeah, you know,

1107
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:49,919
Speaker 2: like you're still young and stupid at that point, then

1108
00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:51,200
Speaker 2: I can see this.

1109
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:53,480
Speaker 1: But twenty five, so I wonder if all this came

1110
00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:55,760
Speaker 1: to like if like husband found out on his own.

1111
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:57,800
Speaker 2: That's what I'm wondering, How did it come to life?

1112
00:49:57,800 --> 00:49:59,960
Speaker 1: Something is off. This is the reason I wanted to discuss.

1113
00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:02,440
Speaker 2: She has four children, and she's never brought this up

1114
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 2: with him.

1115
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:04,920
Speaker 1: Give us your inputs. There's just something that just doesn't

1116
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:07,040
Speaker 1: seem right about it to me. My spidy sense is

1117
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:07,880
Speaker 1: be tingling. Mama.

1118
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:09,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, but a ring on stage.

1119
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:14,280
Speaker 3: This was Bobby's ring, which she wore while.

1120
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:15,239
Speaker 1: This man had sex with her.

1121
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:18,120
Speaker 3: When you claim and parade yourself around like a pastor

1122
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 3: and you do that to someone, you are a wicked,

1123
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:23,080
Speaker 3: evil person. And that's what he is.

1124
00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 1: Agreed.

1125
00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:27,759
Speaker 5: Bobby credits Nate with helping her find her voice. He

1126
00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:32,160
Speaker 5: has supported me and even now he feels like, if

1127
00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:35,080
Speaker 5: I can be a voice to help other people, he's

1128
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:36,200
Speaker 5: here to support me in that.

1129
00:50:36,760 --> 00:50:39,040
Speaker 4: Not comment on our story. The age of consent in

1130
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:41,719
Speaker 4: Indiana's sixteen Okay.

1131
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:43,359
Speaker 2: I mean he knew what he was doing. He did

1132
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:46,680
Speaker 2: wait until he wasn't gonna be able to be prosecuted.

1133
00:50:46,719 --> 00:50:48,480
Speaker 2: The fact that he started grooming or and flirting with

1134
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:51,000
Speaker 2: her when she was fourteen, Yes, he is an evil, disgusting,

1135
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:52,200
Speaker 2: despicable and.

1136
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:55,360
Speaker 1: Who knows that. I'm sure it's not a coincidence that

1137
00:50:55,440 --> 00:50:58,040
Speaker 1: all of that transpired at the age of sixteen.

1138
00:50:58,080 --> 00:50:58,719
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying.

1139
00:50:59,239 --> 00:51:01,440
Speaker 1: I know you're saying. Yeah, so let us go down

1140
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:03,120
Speaker 1: in the comments whether or not you have the same

1141
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:08,640
Speaker 1: maybe maybe feelings of like, yeah, I was gonna say skepticisms,

1142
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:12,160
Speaker 1: not skepticism. Obviously, I completely believe that what she's saying

1143
00:51:12,239 --> 00:51:15,279
Speaker 1: is true. He's he's essentially validating it with his own,

1144
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:18,759
Speaker 1: you know, uh, testimony of what occurred. But the whole

1145
00:51:18,760 --> 00:51:21,400
Speaker 1: thing just seems like really weird to me. The husband's

1146
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:25,279
Speaker 1: reaction upon stage is like, yeah, you're fully just fighting,

1147
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:26,840
Speaker 1: being mad, It's just the whole thing seemed kind of

1148
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:29,160
Speaker 1: performative in a weird way, you know what I mean.

1149
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:32,200
Speaker 2: And it was oddly specific, like it was inappropriate to

1150
00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:34,200
Speaker 2: get up in church, in the House of God and

1151
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:36,560
Speaker 2: say what you said. You can be mad at the pastor,

1152
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:39,680
Speaker 2: but you're standing on a church stage in front of

1153
00:51:39,719 --> 00:51:43,040
Speaker 2: a congregation on Sunday with children in the audience, families

1154
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 2: in the audience, like bigger.

1155
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:48,759
Speaker 1: And separate question when it comes to two minors in

1156
00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 1: this type of activity. Age of consent is something that

1157
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:55,840
Speaker 1: has always made incredibly uncomfortable having been in law enforcement

1158
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:58,640
Speaker 1: and having to literally explain to a number of parents.

1159
00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:00,640
Speaker 1: This wasn't like a rare occurrence. This something that happened

1160
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:02,920
Speaker 1: on a regular basis. I haven't explained the parents that no,

1161
00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:05,080
Speaker 1: according to the State of Washington, your sixteen year old

1162
00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:10,200
Speaker 1: is able to have relations with wherever it is that

1163
00:52:10,239 --> 00:52:14,960
Speaker 1: they don't is absolute insanity to me. Sixteen sane sixteen

1164
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:16,160
Speaker 1: and this is in the state of Indiana.

1165
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:18,360
Speaker 2: Now I could see like people were like, okay, so

1166
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:21,359
Speaker 2: what about sixteen seventeen, what about sixteen eighteen? Okay, yes,

1167
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:25,840
Speaker 2: so let's adjust a lot. Let's say within two years right, sixteen.

1168
00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:28,279
Speaker 1: Yes, but so that's how it is in Washington State

1169
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:31,120
Speaker 1: from the age of twelve to sixteen. Oh it is

1170
00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:33,880
Speaker 1: really Yep, it is acceptable from age twelve and above

1171
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 1: within people go missing within certain age parameters. So the

1172
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:42,120
Speaker 1: other person, the perpetrator, I suppose it had to be

1173
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:43,000
Speaker 1: within XMI.

1174
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:43,640
Speaker 2: Twelve and sixteen.

1175
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:49,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, laws on the books indicating that it was permissible

1176
00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:50,120
Speaker 1: or it was not.

1177
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:52,719
Speaker 2: So absolutely horrific.

1178
00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:55,880
Speaker 1: In Washington. We remember the time that we started looking

1179
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:58,720
Speaker 1: this up like worldwide. Yeah, age of consent around the world,

1180
00:52:58,719 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 1: and there were places where it was like in incredibly

1181
00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:04,040
Speaker 1: like twelve, which I think Japan's like fourteen is that right.

1182
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:08,319
Speaker 2: Hand was really low. Che was shockingly young, and then

1183
00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:11,280
Speaker 2: not the Middle East was shockingly.

1184
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:13,560
Speaker 1: So again one of those weird things. Are we the

1185
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:15,759
Speaker 1: weird ones? Maybe we're the ones I don't think so

1186
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:20,480
Speaker 1: apparently to think that it's odd that we, well, people.

1187
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:22,560
Speaker 2: Will use the Bible to like justify it, like well

1188
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:25,160
Speaker 2: in the Bible and it's like, Okay, the Bible actually

1189
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:28,600
Speaker 2: isn't specific about ages, like when people are like, oh, well,

1190
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:31,080
Speaker 2: the Virgin Mary was fourteen when she gave birth to Jesus.

1191
00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:33,439
Speaker 2: Now where does it say that, So I really wish

1192
00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:37,319
Speaker 2: people would stop repeating that because it doesn't state.

1193
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:42,520
Speaker 1: That unrelated but related no pun intended yesterday novella for

1194
00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:43,640
Speaker 1: for funzies.

1195
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:46,880
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, she looks up the weirdest.

1196
00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:50,120
Speaker 1: States in the United States allow for you to marry.

1197
00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:52,680
Speaker 2: Your wait, hold on, take it away, you know what,

1198
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:56,720
Speaker 2: Take it away before you tell this story. The reason

1199
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 2: that she was looking it up is because one of

1200
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:02,719
Speaker 2: her friends found out that his parents were second cousins.

1201
00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:04,480
Speaker 1: I missed that.

1202
00:54:04,480 --> 00:54:06,160
Speaker 2: That's why she was looking up. She was like, can

1203
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:08,719
Speaker 2: you believe that some and so his parents are second cousins,

1204
00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 2: And then Kimani said, yeah, one of my friends that

1205
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:14,000
Speaker 2: lives over in Arizona just found out that his grandparents

1206
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,920
Speaker 2: are second cousins and they were appalled. So that's what

1207
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:20,640
Speaker 2: started the Google search, not because she was curious, like

1208
00:54:20,880 --> 00:54:22,640
Speaker 2: I just feel like we need to set like why

1209
00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:26,279
Speaker 2: was she googling this? I missed that was That was

1210
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:29,760
Speaker 2: why I know, And they were like, isn't that illegal.

1211
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:32,960
Speaker 2: I started looking it up because we were like, this

1212
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:34,200
Speaker 2: is guy, this can't be ready.

1213
00:54:34,239 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 1: Do yourselves a little googling and googling, and apparently there

1214
00:54:37,719 --> 00:54:40,360
Speaker 1: are a number of states here in the Great United

1215
00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:43,520
Speaker 1: States where it is permissible to marry your just first

1216
00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:46,600
Speaker 1: cousin first were their siblings?

1217
00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:50,960
Speaker 2: Was that on there in discussing, No, you couldn't slingings, grandparents,

1218
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:52,840
Speaker 2: parents were all knows.

1219
00:54:52,960 --> 00:54:54,719
Speaker 1: No, she said that there were areas. Maybe it was

1220
00:54:54,719 --> 00:54:57,400
Speaker 1: like worldwide. It was worldwide. It you're allowed to have

1221
00:54:57,440 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 1: a relationship and marry your your child or your parent.

1222
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:06,080
Speaker 2: No, it was nieces and nephews could marry. Aunts and

1223
00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:09,600
Speaker 2: uncles and half siblings could marry. And it was like

1224
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:15,360
Speaker 2: in im siblings. Yes, and it was in uh, like

1225
00:55:15,719 --> 00:55:24,799
Speaker 2: very predominantly Muslim territories like Saudi Arabia because yeah, yeah, Qatar, Uh,

1226
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:28,760
Speaker 2: places like that you could marry like half siblings and

1227
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:34,040
Speaker 2: uncles and stuff pretty bad. You know what this conversation

1228
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:34,600
Speaker 2: has gone.

1229
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:37,719
Speaker 1: These are the types of stuff at the end of

1230
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:41,840
Speaker 1: the day when we're bored, Mom when comes downstairs and

1231
00:55:42,239 --> 00:55:44,239
Speaker 1: to spend time with mom and dad and their home.

1232
00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:46,799
Speaker 1: This this is what she brings with her. Ironically enough,

1233
00:55:46,840 --> 00:55:48,680
Speaker 1: we were just having a discussion about age of consent.

1234
00:55:48,719 --> 00:55:50,600
Speaker 1: I've remembered that, so I figured i'd bring that up

1235
00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:50,959
Speaker 1: as well.

1236
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:55,640
Speaker 2: That was yes, that was so lovely anyway, back to happiness.

1237
00:55:56,600 --> 00:55:58,080
Speaker 2: That is not how you do it. That's not going

1238
00:55:58,120 --> 00:56:03,000
Speaker 2: to bring happiness, but maybe don't keep it in the family,

1239
00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:07,960
Speaker 2: but focus on your family and careful. That seems to

1240
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:13,200
Speaker 2: be where the rest. That's the recipe, all right, noted yea,

1241
00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:16,360
Speaker 2: And on that note, we want to thank you for

1242
00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:19,120
Speaker 2: being here for this very odd conversation between Melissa and I.

1243
00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:24,120
Speaker 1: Once again, administrative note, we will not be in next week,

1244
00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:27,279
Speaker 1: no podcast next week. This is part of our We.

1245
00:56:27,239 --> 00:56:32,000
Speaker 2: Are focusing on It's Eli's birthday, so our little baby

1246
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:37,359
Speaker 2: Eli is turning eleven years old, so we are we're

1247
00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:39,920
Speaker 2: trying to make sure that we take time to celebrate

1248
00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:42,440
Speaker 2: birthdays and holidays, and that's kind of our goal for

1249
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:45,160
Speaker 2: twenty twenty six is to be okay with taking some

1250
00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:47,600
Speaker 2: time off around these big family events.

1251
00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:49,440
Speaker 1: Next week is one of those weeks that we've been

1252
00:56:49,640 --> 00:56:51,880
Speaker 1: discussing with you guys about that work life balance, so

1253
00:56:51,880 --> 00:56:53,920
Speaker 1: we will not be in here next week. We will

1254
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:56,439
Speaker 1: be in the week after that though, and we have

1255
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:59,880
Speaker 1: something already in mind to be discussing and talking with

1256
00:56:59,920 --> 00:57:02,480
Speaker 1: you guys about then, so looking forward to that. We

1257
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:04,600
Speaker 1: appreciate you being here. Once again, God bless you. All

1258
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:06,360
Speaker 1: We will see you then take care.

1259
00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:09,640
Speaker 3: World home.

1260
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:11,400
Speaker 5: Weapon.

1261
00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:12,440
Speaker 4: Howse so

1262
00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 2: Rich Man, Richmond