1 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of 2 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio programs, and 3 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:38,440 Speaker 1: had to purchase Dennisprager's Rational Bibles. Go to Dennisprager dot com. 4 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:45,200 Speaker 2: And finally, behavior over feelings is a key to character development. 5 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:49,319 Speaker 2: Behavior over feelings you can't just as you have to 6 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,160 Speaker 2: fight your nature. Part of it is fighting your feelings. 7 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:56,960 Speaker 2: How you feel is interesting, but how you act is 8 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,320 Speaker 2: infinitely more important. 9 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,960 Speaker 3: What are you doing? What are you feeling? 10 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:05,360 Speaker 2: We all have every sort of feeling in the world, 11 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 2: good feelings, bad feelings. Look, a person could have immense 12 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:12,680 Speaker 2: good feelings and not do any good. There are other 13 00:01:12,759 --> 00:01:16,039 Speaker 2: people whose minds are filled with a lot of bad thoughts, 14 00:01:16,039 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 2: and they do a lot of good because they know 15 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 2: that they have to fight Their feelings are feelings and 16 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:28,080 Speaker 2: actions are actions, and building character is building actions. So 17 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 2: your child has to know. And here is a rule 18 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 2: of life. It's worth telling your kid, it's worth telling yourself. 19 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 2: By the way, most of what we want is not 20 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:39,560 Speaker 2: good for us. It's a terrible it's a terrible law 21 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 2: of life. But you know, but it's a fact. This 22 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:47,319 Speaker 2: is what I call the brain mind conflict. The brain 23 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:51,360 Speaker 2: is the seat of bad things. It is the seat 24 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:52,560 Speaker 2: of unhappiness. 25 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,520 Speaker 3: It is the seat. It's the animal part of us. 26 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 3: The brain. 27 00:01:55,520 --> 00:02:01,280 Speaker 2: Brain wants cheesecake, mind says maybe not right. 28 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 3: I mean, brain wants. 29 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 2: Prohibited sex, and mind hopefully says gee, that's not right. 30 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,559 Speaker 2: Whatever it is, it's mind versus brain, and the earlier 31 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:19,000 Speaker 2: you know, you have to fight what you want. 32 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,200 Speaker 3: It is so. 33 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:24,080 Speaker 2: The kid is certainly allowed to express what he wants. 34 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:27,240 Speaker 2: But if he thinks that he will get whatever he wants. 35 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:31,680 Speaker 2: While you have bought at the price of his happiness 36 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:34,600 Speaker 2: and his goodness, or her happiness and her goodness, you 37 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:38,400 Speaker 2: have bought a moment of peace. We want our kids 38 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:39,560 Speaker 2: to smile, don't we. 39 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 3: We do. 40 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:43,840 Speaker 2: It's a joy to give them a gift because well, 41 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 2: we were good in their eyes. They're happy for that moment. 42 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 2: But what happens the next moment? The gift has to 43 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:56,720 Speaker 2: be the increased, it has to be more frequent. That's 44 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,640 Speaker 2: why you should set limits on the gifts that you 45 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 2: give to your kid. By the way, in my opinion, 46 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,800 Speaker 2: you should relegate it to whatever it will be, whatever, 47 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,360 Speaker 2: like Christmas already, other holiday that you want to give 48 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:13,519 Speaker 2: a gift on a birthday and special events, confirmation, graduation, 49 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 2: and that's it. 50 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 3: That's it. 51 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,720 Speaker 2: It's tough to raise a good person. If it were easy, 52 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:23,800 Speaker 2: it would be a nice world, wouldn't it. It's not 53 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,120 Speaker 2: such a nice world. There's a lot of bad in it. 54 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 2: It's a lot of bad in it, and it begins 55 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 2: in the way that kids are raised. And you wouldn't 56 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:34,040 Speaker 2: be here tonight if you didn't want to, didn't care 57 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 2: deeply about this issue, right, why would you be here tonight. 58 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 2: The very fact that you're here is living proof that 59 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 2: this matters to you. But even if it matters to us, 60 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 2: it's still tough. It's not enough to want it. It's 61 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 2: like if you want to be a good baseball player, 62 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:54,960 Speaker 2: you still have to learn the mechanics of baseball. We 63 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,240 Speaker 2: have to learn the mechanics of raising good kids. And 64 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,760 Speaker 2: it's a lot harder to be a good parent than 65 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:04,480 Speaker 2: a good first baseman. It's harder to be a good 66 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:09,840 Speaker 2: person than a good first basement. And so these are 67 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,440 Speaker 2: the suggestions that I have for you, and they're all 68 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,240 Speaker 2: difficult to enact. 69 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 3: It is. 70 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:18,840 Speaker 2: It is a real challenge. But I just need to 71 00:04:19,039 --> 00:04:26,359 Speaker 2: tell you that the rewards are awesome. I'll end with 72 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:30,600 Speaker 2: one interesting revelation that came to me in the course 73 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 2: of doing my radio show, and it is an unbelievable 74 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:35,599 Speaker 2: instructor my radio show. 75 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 3: And if you haven't heard. 76 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:43,720 Speaker 2: It, how come you're here. But aside from that, if 77 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,640 Speaker 2: you haven't, it's nine to noon eight seventy KRLA here 78 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 2: in Los Angeles or at Praeger Radio dot com. You 79 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,080 Speaker 2: could hear it at any hour of the day. And 80 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 2: I have learned more there than at my Ivy League 81 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:58,040 Speaker 2: graduate school fifty times over what I have learned doing this. 82 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:00,640 Speaker 2: Here's an example of something that occurred to me and 83 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:05,680 Speaker 2: with which I will conclude, and it has to do 84 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 2: with something I read in the Los Angeles Times about 85 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 2: fifteen twenty years ago about the increasing, to the best 86 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:19,159 Speaker 2: of our knowledge, increasing number of adults who do not speak. 87 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 3: One or both of their parents. 88 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:30,960 Speaker 2: And as a parent, I thought, Oh, I can't think 89 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 2: of anything more painful my child acting dead or acting 90 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 2: like I'm dead. It's one thing for your child to 91 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:44,040 Speaker 2: be angry at you. It's another to cut off all communication. 92 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 2: I don't mean infrequent, I mean all communication. So I 93 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 2: raised this on the radio, and I said, if you 94 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:54,040 Speaker 2: don't talk to a parent, you're an adult who does 95 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:55,559 Speaker 2: not talk to your parent. 96 00:05:56,480 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 3: Please give me a call. And the lights lit up immediately, 97 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:03,000 Speaker 3: all the lights. 98 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:07,839 Speaker 2: And I'll never forget one that particularly got to me. 99 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 2: It was a twenty six, I think twenty six year 100 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:14,800 Speaker 2: old young woman said I don't talk to my mother. 101 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:18,160 Speaker 2: I haven't talked to her for eight years. And I 102 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:22,440 Speaker 2: said to her, well, did she abuse you? Oh no, 103 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:26,560 Speaker 2: not at all. Did she molest you? No, no, no, 104 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:32,280 Speaker 2: she loved me up. So I'm entering the world of 105 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 2: cognitive dissonance here. I feel like I'm entering the twilight 106 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,760 Speaker 2: zone for that man, I said, let me understand something. 107 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:40,920 Speaker 2: Your mother loved you up, never mistreated you in any 108 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:44,640 Speaker 2: serious way, and you have not spoken to her for 109 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:45,239 Speaker 2: eight years. 110 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:45,640 Speaker 3: Why not? 111 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,560 Speaker 2: Said Well, if I'd let my mother back in my life, 112 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:53,320 Speaker 2: she would dominate it. So her mother has a dominating 113 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:56,159 Speaker 2: personality and she has opted to never talk to her. 114 00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:00,840 Speaker 2: Why am I telling you the story? I have a 115 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:05,840 Speaker 2: theory that religious people, and by religious I mean active 116 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 2: in Judaism or Christianity in any of their manifestations. That's 117 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 2: the working definition I'm giving here. Who feel bound to 118 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,920 Speaker 2: the ten command and specifically honor your father and mother 119 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 2: are less likely to ever do this to a parent 120 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 2: than those who do not feel. 121 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 3: Bound to that commandment. 122 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 2: This is a classic example of behavior over feelings. Religiously 123 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 2: raised kids get angry at parents or or even often 124 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,200 Speaker 2: may have reason to be angry at a parent, just 125 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 2: as much as secular kids do. But if you believe 126 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 2: that God said honor your father and your mother, you 127 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,360 Speaker 2: will find it a lot harder to dishonor your father 128 00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:04,160 Speaker 2: or mother and hurt them in that way. This is 129 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 2: a very powerful example of how religion can make better people. 130 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 3: Just that commandment alone. I am convinced. 131 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:17,880 Speaker 2: And I raise this with a psychologist from San Francisco 132 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 2: who just a book on children who don't speak to parents. 133 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 3: He just wrote a whole book on it. 134 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 2: It's becoming so common, and he wants to figure out 135 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:31,960 Speaker 2: ways of reconciling parents and children using psychology. And he's 136 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:35,640 Speaker 2: a wonderful man. And I said to him on my show, doctor, 137 00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:39,400 Speaker 2: I am curious. Have you ever thought about this that 138 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:44,079 Speaker 2: perhaps adults who believe that God said honor your father 139 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 2: and mother are more likely, or if you wire, less 140 00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:52,560 Speaker 2: likely to abandon a parent that way. He said, I 141 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,880 Speaker 2: never thought of that, but you may have a real 142 00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 2: point there. I mean, he had never thought of that 143 00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:01,199 Speaker 2: because they're taught in a secular university. In religion is nonsense. 144 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:05,760 Speaker 2: It's never thought of as a vehicle to goodness. But 145 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:10,839 Speaker 2: this teaches the great lesson of feeling bound to a 146 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:15,839 Speaker 2: system larger than my feelings. Most people at some point 147 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:19,400 Speaker 2: are very angry at a parent and would find it 148 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:23,680 Speaker 2: very easy to stop communicating. But not someone who thinks, 149 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,480 Speaker 2: you know what whatever it is. And I learned this 150 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:29,320 Speaker 2: from my father. I'll never forget this. My father would 151 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,680 Speaker 2: call his mother every night, call her on the phone. 152 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,400 Speaker 2: His mother was by she rest in peace and forgive me. 153 00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:38,760 Speaker 2: Not an easy woman. In fact, she would yell at 154 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:43,559 Speaker 2: him the entire conversation. How do I know because he 155 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:47,720 Speaker 2: would put the phone on the kitchen table and I 156 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,679 Speaker 2: would hear the yelling. And what he would do is 157 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:51,920 Speaker 2: he would pick up the phone periodically and go ye 158 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:55,920 Speaker 2: mo yeamo, and then put it back down, and she 159 00:09:56,160 --> 00:10:00,320 Speaker 2: just yell at him. And I'll never forget she was, 160 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:04,040 Speaker 2: in her way, great but a difficult woman. When I 161 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:06,840 Speaker 2: was about nine, she told me my mother was hitler. 162 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,520 Speaker 2: I thought my mother was a fascist, but not a Nazi. 163 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,920 Speaker 2: She was tough, you know. After my mother would make 164 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 2: every Sunday, they brought her over with This was my 165 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:29,640 Speaker 2: father's mother, and they brought my mother's parents as well. 166 00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 2: They'd come over for lunch. My mother would make like 167 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:36,000 Speaker 2: a six course meal, and then this grandmother would compliment 168 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:42,880 Speaker 2: my mother on the cantalope. 169 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:46,480 Speaker 3: She was a tough woman. But my father called her 170 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:47,040 Speaker 3: every day. 171 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,480 Speaker 2: And he called her every day because not because of love, 172 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 2: not because he wanted to talk to her, but because it's. 173 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:56,319 Speaker 3: The right thing to do. 174 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:00,640 Speaker 2: And the sooner we teach our kids it's the right 175 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:03,439 Speaker 2: thing to do, whether or not you want to do it, 176 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:06,319 Speaker 2: the better chance we have that they'll call us when 177 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:07,280 Speaker 2: they're angry at us. 178 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 3: Good luck, thank you very much. 179 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:34,440 Speaker 2: By the way, the operative, the most operative words in 180 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 2: my whole talk were good luck. And I'll tell you 181 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 2: why this is a uh it's it's a sobering thought, 182 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,920 Speaker 2: and you'll just do with it what you want. When 183 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:49,520 Speaker 2: all is said and done, there's still luck and how 184 00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 2: your kids turn out, okay, just know that there are 185 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:58,440 Speaker 2: some really miserable parents whose kids are angels, and I 186 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:01,439 Speaker 2: you know that's part of my ten questions for God. 187 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,440 Speaker 3: How how did these jerks produce? 188 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:09,720 Speaker 2: It's such a wonderful kid and there are some wonderful 189 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,360 Speaker 2: parents who happened jerk. 190 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:13,640 Speaker 3: I mean I did that for a number of shows. 191 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 3: Call me up if you know. 192 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 2: Let's say you have four kids and three of you 193 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 2: are wonderful and one is terrible. And again the lines 194 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:24,199 Speaker 2: will live up, you know, like the proverbial Christmas tree, 195 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:28,800 Speaker 2: and then and people who are just saying, yeah, you 196 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:31,520 Speaker 2: could have twins. One is in jail and then one 197 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:35,600 Speaker 2: is volunteering to help the poor. It's so, when all 198 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,079 Speaker 2: is said and done, you still don't have a guarantee, 199 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,360 Speaker 2: but these maximize your chances. 200 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:42,000 Speaker 3: Now, two things. 201 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,760 Speaker 2: One is well now happily is did you say that 202 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,120 Speaker 2: there were microphones set up? 203 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,680 Speaker 3: Is that right? Okay? 204 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,520 Speaker 2: So please line up there if you'd like to ask 205 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 2: me anything or just say something. And the other is 206 00:12:54,120 --> 00:13:00,560 Speaker 2: if you would like I make my speeches available to 207 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:04,560 Speaker 2: the public. You could subscribe to getting one every other month. 208 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:08,400 Speaker 2: You could just get this one, but give me your 209 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,839 Speaker 2: email address. We will not bombard you, I promise, with 210 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:16,160 Speaker 2: you know, free offers for land in Florida or anything. 211 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 2: Just but but if you can, you want to write 212 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 2: your name and clearly the email addresses just one letter 213 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,080 Speaker 2: is not clear. Email addresses are useless. I would be 214 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:29,200 Speaker 2: happy to send you information on these this lecture and others. 215 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 3: That I have given. Anybody like to line up, I'll 216 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:33,440 Speaker 3: wait a minute. 217 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:37,079 Speaker 2: There's always a hesitation before the first question, and if 218 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 2: there were no questions, then we'll go home earlier, but 219 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:42,160 Speaker 2: usually there are. 220 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 221 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:57,839 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. 222 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,559 Speaker 3: Yes, sir, so my question is. 223 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:06,439 Speaker 4: You know, our faith is imports us and I'm like 224 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,000 Speaker 4: gods that has been handed down from me, from my parents, 225 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:12,400 Speaker 4: my grandparents, and give people die for our faith, and 226 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:17,240 Speaker 4: I have his fate handed down to these generations that 227 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:20,480 Speaker 4: I even know about. First name of one of my 228 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 4: one of my adult children is said, I don't want 229 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,920 Speaker 4: to do this anymore. It's gone another Christian denomination. 230 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,680 Speaker 5: And I just you know, how do you deal with that? 231 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:29,800 Speaker 5: If you're waiting? Great back? 232 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:36,360 Speaker 3: Well, oh did you all hear the question? This? Uh, 233 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:38,280 Speaker 3: this question is. 234 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,600 Speaker 2: Something I have given an immense amount of thought to 235 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:44,400 Speaker 2: about your child has abandoned your faith and taken on 236 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:47,800 Speaker 2: another one or taken on none. Right, would the question 237 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 2: be just as fair in that case? 238 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 3: Right? 239 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:54,400 Speaker 2: Fair folks here, let me give you a how do 240 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:54,960 Speaker 2: you handle it? 241 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:55,520 Speaker 3: Was the question? 242 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,720 Speaker 2: That's a micro question. I'll first, I'll give you a 243 00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:01,920 Speaker 2: macro answer. This is the price we pay for a 244 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:07,160 Speaker 2: free society, and it's a price I am I am 245 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,520 Speaker 2: willing to pay rather than live in an enclosed world 246 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:14,560 Speaker 2: where there were no options for our children. So please 247 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:17,320 Speaker 2: know that in advance, I mean you can't. Of course, 248 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:20,080 Speaker 2: there are all sorts of reactions there. There are denominations 249 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,000 Speaker 2: where if the child abandons the faith of the parent, 250 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:29,520 Speaker 2: they sever all contact with the child. I don't want 251 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,960 Speaker 2: to mention the denominations, but they exist. I have met 252 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 2: such people, and it's I don't think. 253 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 3: You would support that. 254 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:44,400 Speaker 2: You have to do your best, and then you let 255 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:48,520 Speaker 2: the chips fall where they may, because at some point 256 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 2: you can't any longer direct your child's life. I don't 257 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 2: mean can't in the sense of prohibited. You are can't 258 00:15:55,880 --> 00:16:00,840 Speaker 2: in the sense of incapable. And all one can ask 259 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:05,320 Speaker 2: for then is that they be aware of how of 260 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:09,840 Speaker 2: the strength of your commitment, that they are allowed to 261 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:13,520 Speaker 2: know that this is an ongoing pain in your life. 262 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,680 Speaker 2: But at the same time, you are still my child 263 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:21,080 Speaker 2: and I love you. I mean, it's not like your 264 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:24,760 Speaker 2: child has committed mass murder, and then I'm not sure 265 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:25,480 Speaker 2: I would ask you. 266 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:26,640 Speaker 3: To say, and I still love you. 267 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:31,280 Speaker 2: There are moral bounds beyond which a child can even 268 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:36,080 Speaker 2: lose a parental at least expression of love. All of 269 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:40,640 Speaker 2: us have to deal with this, and not all of 270 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,080 Speaker 2: us have to deal with this. All of us have 271 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,880 Speaker 2: to deal with this possibility. Some people their kids follow 272 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:50,720 Speaker 2: exactly in their faith. It is increasingly not so much 273 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:54,120 Speaker 2: the case. Look, somebody must have changed somewhere or nothing 274 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 2: would have ever evolved. 275 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:58,360 Speaker 3: And so it is. 276 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,920 Speaker 2: It is just something you have to make peace with 277 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:06,560 Speaker 2: because at some point you just have to wish God's 278 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:11,320 Speaker 2: blessings on them and yourself. But as I say, it's 279 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:15,080 Speaker 2: an inevitability in a free society, it is an inevitability. 280 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,719 Speaker 2: Look at you, know, you were talking about another Christian denomination. 281 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,719 Speaker 2: I'm assuming, for example, where in your case it was 282 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,720 Speaker 2: a child who when it's not necessarily your case, but 283 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 2: in the case you're thinking of become a Protestant, Yeah, 284 00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:31,920 Speaker 2: leave the church and become a Protestant. I mean, look, 285 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,760 Speaker 2: you know this may not be a consolation, but it 286 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:44,000 Speaker 2: could have been worse. You know, I have about ten 287 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:47,959 Speaker 2: scenarios in my mind. It is not so just to 288 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:52,200 Speaker 2: be I guess not to offend anybody here, but let's 289 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:55,800 Speaker 2: say your kid became a wicked you know, your father, 290 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:59,120 Speaker 2: that would be worse. Is that fair to say, maybe 291 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:00,760 Speaker 2: there's nothing worse than a Protestant. 292 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:01,119 Speaker 3: I don't know. 293 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,160 Speaker 2: Listen, I you know that I have no I am 294 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:10,960 Speaker 2: no dog in this race. You know, I can look 295 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:16,159 Speaker 2: at this very very neutrally. But listener, you know, in 296 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,439 Speaker 2: Jewish life, my god, if if you're you're Jewish and 297 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,639 Speaker 2: your child, you know, just drops out of the faith 298 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:26,000 Speaker 2: and doesn't live a Jewish life, and even intermarriage, it's 299 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:30,800 Speaker 2: it's a very very serious matter in family life. And 300 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,840 Speaker 2: not only that, if you're Orthodox and your kid becomes 301 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,560 Speaker 2: Conservative or reform. 302 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:36,840 Speaker 3: It's a huge issue. 303 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,080 Speaker 2: So we all that's why, I mean, we all face 304 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:43,159 Speaker 2: this either in our family or an extended part of 305 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:46,400 Speaker 2: the family. The only answer is to is to raise 306 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:51,080 Speaker 2: your children in a ghetto. We have opted not to, 307 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,400 Speaker 2: and that's freedom will bring with it choices that we've 308 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:59,240 Speaker 2: not thrilled that they make. There is one other consolation, though, 309 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 2: that I want you to think of, and that is 310 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:07,679 Speaker 2: that all children are your children. And I mean this. 311 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,840 Speaker 2: I'm not a poet, I don't mean this poetically. I 312 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:15,480 Speaker 2: really do believe that we should see all children as 313 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,000 Speaker 2: in some way our children. 314 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,320 Speaker 3: And if you, in your case, as. 315 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,600 Speaker 2: A Catholic, can help keep other kids Catholic or bring 316 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,800 Speaker 2: others to Catholicism. 317 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:27,160 Speaker 3: Who now have nothing, let's say, then. 318 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,440 Speaker 2: You should have a great deal of consolation in that 319 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,159 Speaker 2: that you have kept your church alive, and you have 320 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:38,960 Speaker 2: kept your faith alive, but not necessarily through a blood relative. 321 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:43,040 Speaker 2: But in the final analysis, the non blood relative is 322 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:46,199 Speaker 2: as precious to God and to the Church as your child. 323 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,080 Speaker 3: So think of it that way. 324 00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:51,479 Speaker 2: It's a very important thing to get joy from touching 325 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,960 Speaker 2: other children, not only your own. Think of that outside 326 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 2: of even just religion. It's ay, there are people who 327 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:04,080 Speaker 2: have been immensely successful with nephews and nieces, or with grandchildren, 328 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:07,560 Speaker 2: or with friends' kids more so than their own. 329 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,040 Speaker 3: Why is that less valuable? 330 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:12,760 Speaker 2: It's less emotional perhaps for you, but it's not less 331 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:16,800 Speaker 2: valuable to the world or to God. Okay, yes, please 332 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,000 Speaker 2: thank you. 333 00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:20,359 Speaker 5: I feel like your thoughts. 334 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,080 Speaker 6: Uh, as a child's getting. 335 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,440 Speaker 5: Older, when did a parent. 336 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:28,760 Speaker 6: Boughs that start backing off of insisting on your authority 337 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,280 Speaker 6: over the child versus let as. 338 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,760 Speaker 5: A child have more freedom, even if you know than. 339 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:35,720 Speaker 3: In the NAT the States. 340 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,400 Speaker 2: Well, since I don't know the specific area that you're 341 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,919 Speaker 2: thinking of, as a general rule, you can say this, 342 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:49,040 Speaker 2: so long as I legally and financially support you, the 343 00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:51,160 Speaker 2: rules of this house shall be obeyed. 344 00:20:55,920 --> 00:21:01,320 Speaker 3: Come back, you were allowed to respond, it's not yep, yeah, 345 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:04,040 Speaker 3: I I don't mean it been, you. 346 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,639 Speaker 5: Know, laying down of the law in my house or 347 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 5: anything like that. 348 00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:09,639 Speaker 6: I just want my child to to grow into an 349 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,600 Speaker 6: adult in a s as smooth as way as possible. Well, 350 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:16,119 Speaker 6: job society says, do your own your parents' authority. The 351 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,200 Speaker 6: day you had your eighteenth birthday. 352 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,680 Speaker 3: You're on your own. That's not the way. Well, they're 353 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:22,360 Speaker 3: not on their own. 354 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,000 Speaker 2: If you're still supporting them on their eighteenth birthday, they're 355 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,040 Speaker 2: only on their own, and that they have certain legal 356 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,600 Speaker 2: rights that they didn't have visa vita society. But if 357 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:32,840 Speaker 2: you're still their support, Listen, if at eighteen, your kid 358 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,600 Speaker 2: gets a job and self supporting. You've done a great job. 359 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:43,280 Speaker 2: You should take a cruise, you know, I want to 360 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 2: know your technique. 361 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:44,880 Speaker 3: Man, you know. 362 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,359 Speaker 2: So no that I mean it's very fair to say, Look, 363 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,439 Speaker 2: these are my laws. You want you you know, you 364 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,080 Speaker 2: want to put a ring through your nipple. 365 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:57,120 Speaker 3: I'm sorry. 366 00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:01,240 Speaker 2: When you are independent and make your own money and 367 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:05,080 Speaker 2: wish to distort your body in that way and look 368 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:09,439 Speaker 2: like a neanderthal, that that is your prerogative. But until 369 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,720 Speaker 2: that day, your nipples will remain whole. 370 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:15,800 Speaker 3: That's it. 371 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:22,879 Speaker 2: And your tongue and you're an eyelid and you're lid, 372 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,120 Speaker 2: and that's you're allowed to say that. 373 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:27,960 Speaker 3: And if it rushes. 374 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:31,400 Speaker 2: Them into independence financially by gully and did a great job. 375 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,159 Speaker 2: In the meantime, I see more and more ads on 376 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:39,720 Speaker 2: the like Ventura Boulevard, where I was just last week, 377 00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:45,680 Speaker 2: for now laser tattoo removal. The ads for tattoo removal 378 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:50,000 Speaker 2: are now as ubiquitous as the ads for tattoo placement. 379 00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:52,800 Speaker 3: So next time. 380 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:54,480 Speaker 2: Your kid wants a tattoo, if you're not a big 381 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,600 Speaker 2: fan of tattoos, I have not to be a big 382 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,520 Speaker 2: fan of tattoos, which puts me in a very small 383 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:04,280 Speaker 2: minority of Americans today. My dear producer Alan Estrin has 384 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,199 Speaker 2: a very great thought on this when he watches an 385 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:09,199 Speaker 2: NBA game, which only happens on the duress, but on 386 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:10,359 Speaker 2: occasion he will see it. 387 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:13,400 Speaker 3: So if you ask him what team do you root. 388 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,080 Speaker 2: For, his answer is the same all the time, the 389 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:17,639 Speaker 2: one with fewer tattoos. 390 00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:24,440 Speaker 3: Yes, oh, there is someone here. Hi, it's not a question. 391 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:26,119 Speaker 3: It's statements are fine. 392 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:30,359 Speaker 5: I I want to say thank you because it's very 393 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,640 Speaker 5: rare in my life in the way that I'm most 394 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:38,080 Speaker 5: firmed in the quality of child marry that I've done. 395 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:40,280 Speaker 5: And I I'm came here to I was thinking, you 396 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:41,560 Speaker 5: don't like you learn something new? 397 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:43,399 Speaker 3: You know, and you didn't. 398 00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:51,800 Speaker 2: Well, I must say this is the most left handed compliment. 399 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,439 Speaker 2: I I, mister prager, I want to thank you for 400 00:23:56,480 --> 00:24:01,640 Speaker 2: coming here. I'm telling me nothing new, No, no, I 401 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:02,560 Speaker 2: I I'm okay with that. 402 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:07,000 Speaker 3: I'm okay with that. You heard it. You heard it. 403 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:10,119 Speaker 5: Yes, you have that question, and you give us the poor, 404 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:12,600 Speaker 5: poor options. And I would have picked happy walking in 405 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,359 Speaker 5: I want my children to be happy. 406 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,080 Speaker 3: That's what I thought, and the one right. 407 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:19,800 Speaker 5: But after you told me what made my children good people? 408 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:20,080 Speaker 6: Are. 409 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:24,359 Speaker 5: That's what I'm doing, and that's not what's supported by society. 410 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:25,480 Speaker 3: No, not at all. 411 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,600 Speaker 5: It's very hard to keep making those choices for the kids. 412 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:30,360 Speaker 3: No movies. 413 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 5: No, we're going to cut cut everything, and society is 414 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,960 Speaker 5: so opposed to that. A school like this is for that, 415 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:41,359 Speaker 5: and that's why we're here. But here's the one like 416 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,040 Speaker 5: you on the radio. And and I will listen to you 417 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:44,520 Speaker 5: now because I didn't know you before. 418 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:49,560 Speaker 3: What have you been listening to familiar with? Sorry? Wait, Roy, 419 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:54,280 Speaker 3: tell me tell me. I'm curious. That's fine, not at all. 420 00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:59,600 Speaker 3: I was curious that that's that's fine with me somewhere else. 421 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 5: Yes, morning anyway, thank. 422 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:05,760 Speaker 3: You, thank you very much. The uh. 423 00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:12,159 Speaker 2: Just a quick comment on that. See, even if you 424 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,120 Speaker 2: do the right things, what I wanted to do, and 425 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:17,320 Speaker 2: thank you and I really appreciate it. What you said 426 00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:21,040 Speaker 2: is the contciousness of the goodness issue. You have to 427 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:25,000 Speaker 2: be conscious some things. I'm sure all of you have 428 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:28,639 Speaker 2: done some of these things. It's the consciousness of the 429 00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:34,359 Speaker 2: priority issue. Have your priorities intact? Good is number one 430 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,760 Speaker 2: and I want you, my child to know that. If 431 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:43,119 Speaker 2: you are the football team captain. But I don't think 432 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,560 Speaker 2: you're a good hearted person. I don't think you're ethical 433 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,240 Speaker 2: in the way you deal in money matters or on tests. 434 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,480 Speaker 2: I have no joy from your being the quarterback none 435 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,520 Speaker 2: if you are valedictorian, I have no joy from that. 436 00:25:56,600 --> 00:26:00,719 Speaker 2: If you are not these other things. And that's and 437 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,920 Speaker 2: they hear you. They make believe they don't hear you, 438 00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:07,359 Speaker 2: but they hear you. That's what Also you need to know. 439 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:11,320 Speaker 2: They make believe they don't hear you, but by golly, 440 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:12,000 Speaker 2: they hear you. 441 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:16,440 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, others all I want to thank you. 442 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:19,520 Speaker 5: For as my wife Soviet. 443 00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:26,080 Speaker 2: Is your wife? Here is your wife? Here is your Yes? Okay, 444 00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:27,280 Speaker 2: God did I Where is she? 445 00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,000 Speaker 3: Where is she? So? 446 00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:31,359 Speaker 2: How do you feel? Is is he speaking uh truth? 447 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:38,520 Speaker 2: Right now? That's why I wondered if she was here, 448 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,960 Speaker 2: because you know, but uh, I. 449 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,520 Speaker 7: Do have a question when you talk about being good 450 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,440 Speaker 7: and there's uh the underlying motivation. 451 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,800 Speaker 5: For being good and they you know, the word is 452 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:50,400 Speaker 5: good for goodness sakes. 453 00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:52,760 Speaker 3: But in raising children. 454 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:56,000 Speaker 7: Sometimes you have to give them motivations to get them 455 00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:57,720 Speaker 7: to provide good behavior. 456 00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,800 Speaker 5: And you talk about the teasing, and you have to 457 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:01,280 Speaker 5: tell them you tease. 458 00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:01,680 Speaker 3: Your brother more. 459 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:03,200 Speaker 5: How do you lose yourself over. 460 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:06,200 Speaker 3: A week dream. That's right, that's exactly right. And and 461 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,200 Speaker 3: they're motivated by either or that's right. 462 00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:12,840 Speaker 7: Do you think eventually, after years of going through that 463 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:15,760 Speaker 7: they finally start to making that habit? 464 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:19,480 Speaker 3: That's correct, That's exactly right. Yes. 465 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,560 Speaker 2: By the way, I have no issue at all with 466 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:26,359 Speaker 2: punishment and reward. And my book of essays, I have 467 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,320 Speaker 2: one of the essays on is it okay to pay 468 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:33,520 Speaker 2: kids for grades? And I've never heard a single good 469 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:38,720 Speaker 2: argument against paying kids for good grades. Now, if they 470 00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:42,040 Speaker 2: do it for free, that's lovely. I'm not saying you 471 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:45,320 Speaker 2: should offer in the beginning. But first of all, I 472 00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:47,960 Speaker 2: don't know how to raise kids without bribes. It may 473 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,280 Speaker 2: reflect poorly on me, but I just want you to 474 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:53,000 Speaker 2: know that. But I just want to understand something. Why 475 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,600 Speaker 2: do whatever you do for a living that gets paid, 476 00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:57,760 Speaker 2: but what they do for a living doesn't get paid. 477 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:00,080 Speaker 2: They say, well they get room and board. Well they 478 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:01,719 Speaker 2: get room and bored because if you didn't give that 479 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:05,600 Speaker 2: to them, you would be arrested. Okay, it is not 480 00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,120 Speaker 2: a virtue that you give them room and board, all right, 481 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:12,240 Speaker 2: let's be honest. So I see nothing wrong with that. 482 00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,560 Speaker 2: If they're all we even use that language. Look, you 483 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:20,840 Speaker 2: should do this is your work school, Okay, then pay me. Okay, fine, 484 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,800 Speaker 2: if that's important to you, those grades, and then I 485 00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,199 Speaker 2: don't see any problem with that. To be rewarded for 486 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:31,280 Speaker 2: doing good work is fine. Now I happen to be 487 00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:34,000 Speaker 2: a poor example. I graduated, as I often point out, 488 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,119 Speaker 2: at my high school, in the top eighty percent of 489 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:47,280 Speaker 2: my class. Did anybody miss where I graduated. If you're 490 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:49,200 Speaker 2: in the top eighty, you're in the bottom twenty. You 491 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:53,120 Speaker 2: realize that you're okay to five. And my parents were 492 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,480 Speaker 2: sure I would end up a no good in it. 493 00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:59,040 Speaker 2: I mean they were certain of it. But by the way, 494 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:01,920 Speaker 2: there's another thing. If your kid is not doing school work, 495 00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:07,920 Speaker 2: I can live with that, providing I know what they're 496 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:11,160 Speaker 2: doing when they're not doing school work. When I didn't 497 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:14,160 Speaker 2: do school work, and I didn't know school work, I'm 498 00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:17,960 Speaker 2: amazed I graduated. One of the arguments I often given 499 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:28,000 Speaker 2: my speech argument, it's for God's existence, and yeah, I However, 500 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:31,400 Speaker 2: when I wasn't doing school work, which was the whole time, 501 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:35,920 Speaker 2: I was learning to conduct orchestral scores, and I now 502 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:40,120 Speaker 2: conduct orchestras. That is an avocation of mine. Is conducting 503 00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:44,400 Speaker 2: classical music. I taught myself how to do that instead 504 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:47,120 Speaker 2: of doing school work because school board the living daylights 505 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:51,200 Speaker 2: out of me, and I love music. I would read, would, 506 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:55,160 Speaker 2: I would go to bookstores, I would go to museums. 507 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:56,680 Speaker 3: I mean I was learning. 508 00:29:56,840 --> 00:30:00,000 Speaker 2: I had a great hobby of shortwave radio, listening to 509 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:05,640 Speaker 2: foreign radio broadcasts. I started studying Russian. So you I 510 00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,440 Speaker 2: want to know what your kid is doing. If your 511 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,520 Speaker 2: kid is partying or watching TV instead of school work, 512 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:11,600 Speaker 2: that's bad. 513 00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:17,200 Speaker 3: That has to stop. But it's not schoolwork per se. 514 00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:19,520 Speaker 2: But if you value it and it's important, and I 515 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:23,000 Speaker 2: see no reason not to have a reward for that. 516 00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,720 Speaker 2: On the other hand, I am against tremendous pressure on 517 00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:28,480 Speaker 2: children to get great grades. 518 00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:32,520 Speaker 1: This episode of timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 519 00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:42,560 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom. 520 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:47,360 Speaker 2: Here's a theory I have that I have no idea 521 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,960 Speaker 2: if it's true, and then I'll take more of your questions. 522 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:58,520 Speaker 2: But it's a theory. I always wonder why I have 523 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:02,760 Speaker 2: never experienced, for even a day burnout. If you knew 524 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:06,520 Speaker 2: how much I work, I'll just give you one example. 525 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:10,400 Speaker 2: I remember speaking to guys who went around the country lecturing. 526 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,720 Speaker 2: I remember one man thirty years ago. He was then 527 00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:17,560 Speaker 2: about what my age is now, and he said, Dennis, 528 00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:21,840 Speaker 2: I am so tired. You know, it was exciting in 529 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:24,560 Speaker 2: the beginning traveling, but now it is just a hassle. 530 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:29,280 Speaker 2: And you know, it's another another audience, another lecture, another trip, 531 00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:32,520 Speaker 2: another airport. I am as excited to give a speech 532 00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:35,720 Speaker 2: today as I was when I began in my twenties. 533 00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:38,440 Speaker 3: I am as excited to fly to a place. The 534 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:39,800 Speaker 3: actual flying. 535 00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:42,920 Speaker 2: Isn't exciting anymore because they're now greyhound buses in the air, 536 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:48,200 Speaker 2: but it is still I get an invitation from Pittsburgh. 537 00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:51,480 Speaker 2: I'm as excited today as when I was in my 538 00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:55,240 Speaker 2: twenties when I began lecturing. And I think that part 539 00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:59,160 Speaker 2: of the reason I have no burnout is because I 540 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:00,560 Speaker 2: followed Ecclesiastics. 541 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:02,040 Speaker 3: I don't mean consciously. 542 00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:04,040 Speaker 2: You know, there's a time to cry and a time 543 00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:06,840 Speaker 2: to laugh, a time to die, time to live. It's 544 00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:08,640 Speaker 2: like there's a time to work very hard and a 545 00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:11,520 Speaker 2: time to be a kid. I took my time being 546 00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:15,080 Speaker 2: a kid, and when I was ready to work, I 547 00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:20,200 Speaker 2: was ready to work. The kids who are pushing in 548 00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:26,160 Speaker 2: kindergarten to produce excellence. I worry about them when they're 549 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:30,520 Speaker 2: twenty five and fifty five, I really really do. I 550 00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:34,880 Speaker 2: don't give a damn about kids doing well in kindergarten. 551 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:39,400 Speaker 2: I remember when my older boy was a five years 552 00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:43,000 Speaker 2: old and a woman that I knew, a mother of 553 00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:46,360 Speaker 2: another kid his age who they played sometimes. She said 554 00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:50,840 Speaker 2: to me, you know, Danny knows he can name all 555 00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:57,920 Speaker 2: the primates, and I immediately thought, what the hell's a primate? 556 00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:04,280 Speaker 2: I really, I'm sorry to say I didn't know what 557 00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:10,240 Speaker 2: a primate was, let alone name them, and I felt 558 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:13,840 Speaker 2: bad for that kid. You know, parents showing flash cards 559 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:16,800 Speaker 2: to their five year old. It's important now to send 560 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:20,200 Speaker 2: kids to school when they're four. Why is it important 561 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:23,920 Speaker 2: if they just want to play ball at four or 562 00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:27,720 Speaker 2: stare out into the air at four, that's great, that's 563 00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:31,240 Speaker 2: what four is meant for, you know what I mean. 564 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:35,040 Speaker 2: So there's a real middle road here about what we 565 00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:40,800 Speaker 2: pressure our kids. I pressure them on goodness, not scholastics, 566 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,880 Speaker 2: and not to waste their time on TV, which was 567 00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:45,760 Speaker 2: at that microphone. 568 00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:50,480 Speaker 3: Yes, please, I'll feel absolutely feel free. 569 00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:54,360 Speaker 7: I have listened to you since religion on a line. 570 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:56,520 Speaker 3: You were a kid. 571 00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:58,560 Speaker 5: I've moved out of the hall. 572 00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:02,320 Speaker 7: Right, and it was a great comfort to me and 573 00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:05,640 Speaker 7: the comfort to the other family whose child left religion 574 00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:09,160 Speaker 7: where I was at a distant my Gothic religion, and 575 00:34:09,279 --> 00:34:14,920 Speaker 7: I enjoyed searching for something well, listening to someone who's Jewish, 576 00:34:15,359 --> 00:34:21,280 Speaker 7: and eventually having four kids forrmal Good Catholic School, Catholic 577 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,760 Speaker 7: High School. And I'm so thankful to you. 578 00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:25,040 Speaker 3: I listen to you every single. 579 00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,640 Speaker 5: Day and like all allows me to since you've been on. 580 00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:30,160 Speaker 7: The radio HM three hours a day every day, and 581 00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:30,760 Speaker 7: I just want. 582 00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:32,360 Speaker 3: To say thank you before that's so fine. 583 00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:36,640 Speaker 7: Many issues and subjects and things that think about my 584 00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:39,759 Speaker 7: bring to my boys, and we talked about it. 585 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:43,399 Speaker 3: Thank you, Thank you for telling me. That's very really 586 00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:46,040 Speaker 3: thank you. 587 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:52,160 Speaker 2: By the way, since I have this old fashioned belief 588 00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:55,759 Speaker 2: that the lecturer should leave before the audience does. Uh, 589 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:59,200 Speaker 2: we'll take these last two questions and then class dismissed again. 590 00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:00,719 Speaker 2: If you want to give me your email address to 591 00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:02,920 Speaker 2: find out about getting this or any other of my lectures, 592 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,400 Speaker 2: just come over with a very clearly written name and 593 00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:10,239 Speaker 2: email address. I'm very touched by what you told me, 594 00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:12,680 Speaker 2: and I thank you. I look at it this way, 595 00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:16,879 Speaker 2: I have brought so many people back to so many 596 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:21,399 Speaker 2: different religious uh denominations in faith? Whoever is right, I'm 597 00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:24,520 Speaker 2: I'm okay with God. That's how I look at it 598 00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,239 Speaker 2: because I can well, Dennis, you were wrong in that. 599 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:29,960 Speaker 2: But yeah, but I brought this guy back to Captain Tribo. 600 00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:34,120 Speaker 2: But you know, so I have I know this is 601 00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:35,640 Speaker 2: a little sacrilegious what I'm saying. 602 00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:36,560 Speaker 3: I fully understand. 603 00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:42,000 Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 604 00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:51,319 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. 605 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:56,239 Speaker 2: Okay, please, but I also just wanted to stay from 606 00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:57,960 Speaker 2: the bottom of my part so much. 607 00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:04,560 Speaker 5: My younger son was four. How many times what came 608 00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:06,759 Speaker 5: out of your mouth on the radio during the. 609 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:11,719 Speaker 2: Day that he well, he hates me. You don't how 610 00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:19,319 Speaker 2: many kids hate me? You have no idea that would 611 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:19,759 Speaker 2: be nice? 612 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:21,160 Speaker 3: Now? How old is he now? 613 00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:21,719 Speaker 2: He's ten? 614 00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:23,120 Speaker 3: Now that's really nice. 615 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:25,399 Speaker 5: Thank you so much, and thank you for getting through 616 00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:28,480 Speaker 5: the elections. I can't tell you I'm not help him. 617 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:34,320 Speaker 5: I'm describe anyway. He's he's ten and and. 618 00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:37,120 Speaker 2: He goes to a Christian school and they're pretty strict 619 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:37,800 Speaker 2: about bullying. 620 00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:39,680 Speaker 3: Nevertheless, he always. 621 00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:41,879 Speaker 5: Will find bullies and lady, even though he's very tall 622 00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:46,920 Speaker 5: and reapers age and very athletic, he is he's pretty 623 00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:50,080 Speaker 5: confident in general. But lately he's been bullied by you know, 624 00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:52,880 Speaker 5: certain kids who particularly don't like him for whatever reason. 625 00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:55,680 Speaker 2: And it's in front of the groups of boys sometimes, 626 00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:58,000 Speaker 2: and it's been happening, poor lady, And he's. 627 00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,440 Speaker 5: So afraid to stand up and himself. He wants to 628 00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:02,719 Speaker 5: so much, and he's only done one time. So we've 629 00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:06,359 Speaker 5: been discussing different things that he can say that will 630 00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:08,200 Speaker 5: help him and then he. 631 00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:09,879 Speaker 2: Can have the courage to say and that will help 632 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,600 Speaker 2: put the bully, you know, set. 633 00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:15,800 Speaker 5: Him back and and uh, and give him the courage 634 00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:18,360 Speaker 5: to keep standing up for himself. And I don't know 635 00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:20,200 Speaker 5: back what toll him. I'll come up with a couple 636 00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:20,760 Speaker 5: of ideas. 637 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,520 Speaker 2: Give me one of your ideas. I'm curious, give me 638 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,080 Speaker 2: one of your ideas that you've given him. 639 00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:28,080 Speaker 5: Well, I had to deal with who he is and 640 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:30,440 Speaker 5: what he can do. We've come up with different things. 641 00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:31,080 Speaker 3: But he just couldn't do it. 642 00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,440 Speaker 2: So I finally came up with him and jo I 643 00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:35,160 Speaker 2: just said, just look at the boy in front of 644 00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:35,919 Speaker 2: all the other kids. 645 00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:37,919 Speaker 5: And say why do you have to be so mean? 646 00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:40,600 Speaker 5: And one time he had the nerve to say it, 647 00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:43,279 Speaker 5: and the boy actually shut out and he didn't have 648 00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:45,680 Speaker 5: an answer. But he's still is very hard. 649 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:48,239 Speaker 2: It's very hard to stand up to a bully. It's 650 00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:50,960 Speaker 2: hard for an adult to do so. The fact that 651 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,920 Speaker 2: you've got a ten year old to even say once 652 00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:55,520 Speaker 2: why are you so mean? It's a tremendous victory for 653 00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:57,320 Speaker 2: you and for your child. I think you're doing a 654 00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,840 Speaker 2: very good thing. Now we're talking about bullied verbal bullies 655 00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:04,400 Speaker 2: or physical bullies. Yeah, well then if it's verbal bullies, 656 00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:07,359 Speaker 2: then a verbal response is a good one and it'll 657 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:10,600 Speaker 2: give him tremendous strength. I think you're doing perfectly. The 658 00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:12,360 Speaker 2: question that I'm asked a lot is what if a 659 00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:15,400 Speaker 2: kid is hit by another kid? Generally I think the 660 00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:22,640 Speaker 2: kid should be smashed into smithereens. I but I you know, 661 00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:30,759 Speaker 2: I represent the eye for an eye tradition, and you 662 00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:43,319 Speaker 2: know old testament in a. 663 00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,000 Speaker 5: Where he hit back in the room. 664 00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:41,279 Speaker 3: Yeah. 665 00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:43,360 Speaker 2: Well, this is a thing that drives me a little nuts. 666 00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,120 Speaker 2: And this I have said a lot on the radio. 667 00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:47,560 Speaker 2: You might have heard it on one or two occasions 668 00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:50,320 Speaker 2: when I was a kid. I hated when a parent 669 00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:53,200 Speaker 2: or teacher would see two kids fighting and say I 670 00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:56,799 Speaker 2: don't care who started. And I say, and I for 671 00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,319 Speaker 2: people who think that that's a good thing for kids 672 00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:01,400 Speaker 2: to hear. Now, of course you want to stop the fight. 673 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:03,520 Speaker 2: Then you find it. See I understand at first you 674 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:06,480 Speaker 2: stop the fight. I agree, but don't ever say I 675 00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:10,760 Speaker 2: don't care who started. That's a very important thing. Imagine 676 00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:13,040 Speaker 2: let us say that there was you know, God could 677 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:16,880 Speaker 2: come down the day after Pearl Harbor and look at 678 00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:19,200 Speaker 2: America and Japan fighting and say, look, I don't care 679 00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:19,800 Speaker 2: who started. 680 00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:22,760 Speaker 3: Well, I care who started. 681 00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:27,560 Speaker 2: Right and wrong, care who started, Justice cares who started? 682 00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:32,280 Speaker 2: Who started? Is pretty important. It's it's it's almost everything. 683 00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:38,480 Speaker 2: So response to bad needs to take place. How that 684 00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:41,160 Speaker 2: response is is different parents and different traditions will give 685 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:47,560 Speaker 2: different thoughts. But you're doing great. Thank you very very much. Final, please, can. 686 00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:52,520 Speaker 5: You talk about children being Innocence is affected. 687 00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:53,920 Speaker 3: By sexuality, right, and so. 688 00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:56,000 Speaker 5: I think it's very important to talk to our children 689 00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,279 Speaker 5: about sex. And we're very portuhip with faith to talk 690 00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:00,600 Speaker 5: about it in the context of marriage and sexuality as 691 00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:02,799 Speaker 5: they can get from God. At what age do you 692 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:04,439 Speaker 5: think it's important to approach. 693 00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:06,960 Speaker 2: This And wait, at what age is it important to 694 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:08,279 Speaker 2: approach discussion of it? 695 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:09,480 Speaker 5: Yes, sexuality. 696 00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:16,319 Speaker 2: H Well, first of all, different kids will will learn 697 00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:19,960 Speaker 2: things at at different ages and can assimilate things at 698 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:23,320 Speaker 2: a different time, and the parent could pretty much monitor. 699 00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:28,080 Speaker 2: First of all, every question a kid asks must be answered, 700 00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:31,480 Speaker 2: So sometimes you get the tip off because the kid 701 00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:32,040 Speaker 2: will ask. 702 00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:33,560 Speaker 3: Sometimes they won't. 703 00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:35,759 Speaker 2: A lot of kids won't ask, and they'll they'll just 704 00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:38,319 Speaker 2: learn it in the street, which, by the way, is 705 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:43,239 Speaker 2: not so awful. It's not the worst possible thing. That's 706 00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:45,400 Speaker 2: where most of us have learned a lot of things 707 00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:48,920 Speaker 2: in life as well from other kids. That that's understandable. 708 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:53,640 Speaker 2: But what you still teach what the ideal is. You say, look, 709 00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:56,840 Speaker 2: this is this is the ideal, and this is the 710 00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:59,600 Speaker 2: way God wants us to live. There are many things 711 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,920 Speaker 2: that people can do that that that go contrary to 712 00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:06,439 Speaker 2: that ideal. And your religion teaches you how to talk 713 00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:09,560 Speaker 2: to your kids. Also, your school will tell them. I mean, 714 00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:14,160 Speaker 2: I suspect that you know, condoms on bananas is not 715 00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:15,120 Speaker 2: a feature of. 716 00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:16,320 Speaker 3: Most Catholic schools. 717 00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:22,680 Speaker 2: The what I's been done in our secular society to 718 00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:28,320 Speaker 2: sex I feel pity for the kids. Pity the most 719 00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:36,080 Speaker 2: passionate aspect of human existence has been reduced to pure 720 00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:40,840 Speaker 2: animal biology. I mean, it takes a secular society to 721 00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:47,040 Speaker 2: screw sex. I'm using my words very carefully. That's what 722 00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:51,640 Speaker 2: they have done. They have raped it of its joy. 723 00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:56,760 Speaker 2: I am confident, beyond a doubt that in my generation, 724 00:41:56,920 --> 00:42:00,279 Speaker 2: when sixteen year olds would sneak a kiss in a 725 00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:06,080 Speaker 2: movie theater, there was more excitement, sexual excitement than when 726 00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:10,160 Speaker 2: kids go the whole way today at sixteen. There's a 727 00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:14,920 Speaker 2: movie by the way out now, Juno. You should see Juno. 728 00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:18,759 Speaker 2: First of all, it's it's I can't believe they it's 729 00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:21,120 Speaker 2: it's a feature film. Well it was an independent, but 730 00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:25,239 Speaker 2: it's it's very well received. It's clearly anti abortion, and 731 00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:29,000 Speaker 2: it's clearly pro adoption, and and it's actually it's even 732 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:38,759 Speaker 2: pro adulthood. It's it's almost a mistake. And the uh 733 00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:43,040 Speaker 2: there is a kid can see this, don't I don't care. 734 00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:45,440 Speaker 2: I don't know why it's rated. But I, by the way, 735 00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:48,279 Speaker 2: I don't go by r alone because you know they 736 00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:52,000 Speaker 2: now if somebody smokes, they make it are people didn't 737 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,600 Speaker 2: see Schindler's List because there was nudity. But if if 738 00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:58,360 Speaker 2: the nudity in Schindler's list was a sexual turn on you, 739 00:42:58,800 --> 00:42:59,960 Speaker 2: you need therapy. 740 00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:00,880 Speaker 3: No. 741 00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:04,120 Speaker 2: I mean it was about marching naked Jews to the 742 00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:07,440 Speaker 2: gas chambers. That's what happened, and and that that's that 743 00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:10,600 Speaker 2: should be seen. That's what they did. And it's not 744 00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:14,080 Speaker 2: a close up anyway. But so people who are is 745 00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:16,960 Speaker 2: not enough of a guide. There are are movies I 746 00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:18,160 Speaker 2: would want your kids to see. 747 00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:18,600 Speaker 3: In PG. 748 00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:20,960 Speaker 2: Thirty, I wouldn't watch your kids to see. It depends 749 00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:25,880 Speaker 2: on the movie. But in this movie, there is a 750 00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:28,480 Speaker 2: scene and it's not at all graphic, it's not at 751 00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:31,040 Speaker 2: all where the girl gets pregnant. She's a she's a 752 00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:33,560 Speaker 2: I don't know, fifteen sixteen, I don't know, sixteen years 753 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,799 Speaker 2: old high school girl. I mean she's a twenty year 754 00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,719 Speaker 2: old actress, but she plays a sixteen year old and 755 00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:41,720 Speaker 2: there is a scene where she gets pregnant. You see nothing, 756 00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:47,280 Speaker 2: but the beauty of that scene is how loveless and mechanical. 757 00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:48,640 Speaker 3: It is. 758 00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:54,040 Speaker 2: It is like anti erotic, anti sexual, and that's the 759 00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:57,080 Speaker 2: way it is for a lot of high school kids today. 760 00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:04,480 Speaker 2: It's really it's not erotic, it's it's another biological thing, 761 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:09,240 Speaker 2: you know, one one urinates, one defecates, one eats, one filates. 762 00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:11,440 Speaker 3: I mean, that's really what it's come to. 763 00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:14,879 Speaker 2: And only a secular society could have such a great 764 00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:21,799 Speaker 2: achievement to reduce sex to a non pleasure to now, 765 00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:25,640 Speaker 2: there is some pleasure, obviously, but it is overwhelmingly more 766 00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:30,320 Speaker 2: non pleasurable certainly afterwards. Why there are so many girls 767 00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:35,000 Speaker 2: going to a therapists that that university is depressed because 768 00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:37,640 Speaker 2: while they think they're boys, because they've been taught in 769 00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:41,480 Speaker 2: the Age of Stupidity inaugurated by my generation, that boys 770 00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:44,440 Speaker 2: and girls are the same in sexual nature, they're not. 771 00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:50,560 Speaker 2: Boys can can have fifty partners and just go through 772 00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:54,919 Speaker 2: life dancing. A girl with fifty partners doesn't go through 773 00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:58,880 Speaker 2: life dancing and is probably not going to be terribly happy, 774 00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:03,799 Speaker 2: and it probably reflects usually not the most intimate relationship 775 00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:07,680 Speaker 2: with her dad. The greatest antidote to girls promiscuity is 776 00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:09,960 Speaker 2: a healthy, loving relationship with her father. 777 00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:11,920 Speaker 3: That's in general. 778 00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:15,440 Speaker 2: There are always exceptions, but in general that's everybody knows this, 779 00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:19,279 Speaker 2: secular or religious. That's why it's so important for a 780 00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:24,480 Speaker 2: father to love his daughter and reciprocate and for it 781 00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:29,920 Speaker 2: to have not a sentilla of sexual overtone, even as 782 00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:34,719 Speaker 2: a joke, it must be a completely de eroticized place, 783 00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:36,160 Speaker 2: the house completely. 784 00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:39,800 Speaker 3: And so that's. 785 00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:45,360 Speaker 2: You know, what has happened for these kids. Your point 786 00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:48,720 Speaker 2: therefore is well taken. I will just end by telling 787 00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:52,840 Speaker 2: you it's very hard. It is very very hard today. 788 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:58,400 Speaker 2: My parents, to be perfectly honest, my parents didn't have 789 00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:02,200 Speaker 2: to do almost anything to raise good kids. My brother 790 00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:05,440 Speaker 2: and I are good kids, and you know that they were. 791 00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:09,400 Speaker 2: They were obviously they were good ethical rules. There were 792 00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:16,320 Speaker 2: an important emphasis placed on values and on religion. But I, 793 00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:21,600 Speaker 2: like my parents, was raised by a decent society. Hillary 794 00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:24,439 Speaker 2: Clinton was right, it does take a village to raise 795 00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:26,960 Speaker 2: a child. I don't happen to share many of her 796 00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:33,520 Speaker 2: village's values, but in fact is correct. Conservatives not her title, 797 00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:39,480 Speaker 2: and they're wrong. Parents never have raised children alone. You can't, 798 00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:45,759 Speaker 2: I can't. And we are battling our village now. And 799 00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:52,440 Speaker 2: this is new. My father's parents didn't speak English. They 800 00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:56,480 Speaker 2: were Orthodox Jews from Russia who didn't speak English, who 801 00:46:56,640 --> 00:47:00,719 Speaker 2: sent their sons and daughters to public school, knowing that 802 00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:04,680 Speaker 2: at public school they would get the identical moral values 803 00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:08,480 Speaker 2: that they got in their home, a religious Jewish home, 804 00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:11,600 Speaker 2: not even Christian home, and they knew that in public 805 00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:16,520 Speaker 2: school their kids would get the same values. What a 806 00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:19,880 Speaker 2: different world, What an utterly different world we have today. 807 00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:23,600 Speaker 2: There was no TV in the house. They would they 808 00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:25,480 Speaker 2: would pay a nickel to go a dime to go 809 00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:27,520 Speaker 2: to a movie, and what would they see in the movies? 810 00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:28,400 Speaker 3: Look at the movies. 811 00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:31,040 Speaker 2: From when my parents grew up, it was no trick 812 00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:34,400 Speaker 2: to raise a decent person in that society. Room and 813 00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:36,600 Speaker 2: board was really all a parent had to give, by 814 00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:39,920 Speaker 2: and large and not and not abuse the child, obviously, 815 00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:43,600 Speaker 2: and the same with my generation, but not us raising 816 00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:49,440 Speaker 2: our kids. So whatever I said comes with respect that 817 00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:53,520 Speaker 2: you would come to hear this, and empathy about how 818 00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:56,000 Speaker 2: hard the task is. And that's why I'll end like 819 00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:58,360 Speaker 2: I ended the talk. Good luck, my friends, Thank you 820 00:47:58,440 --> 00:47:59,160 Speaker 2: very much. 821 00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:09,840 Speaker 1: This has been timeless wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit Dennisprager 822 00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:13,400 Speaker 1: dot com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, 823 00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:18,080 Speaker 1: and classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles.