1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:03,600 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 2: You're listening to every Day Prayers with Million Praying Moms, 3 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:20,360 Speaker 2: where we help you pray God's word for your families 4 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:21,920 Speaker 2: in the areas you need at most. 5 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,400 Speaker 1: I'm your host, Nicolette Bell. 6 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:26,880 Speaker 2: Here, we believe prayer isn't a last resort, it's our 7 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:29,960 Speaker 2: first and best response in parenting. It's a partnership for 8 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:32,960 Speaker 2: the hearts of our children that God invites us into. 9 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:37,960 Speaker 2: And this month on Fridays, we are going through a 10 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:42,440 Speaker 2: back to School conversation series and we are talking through 11 00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:46,599 Speaker 2: different topics that we think parents are interested in for 12 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 2: the school year. If you're not interested in these, please 13 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:51,280 Speaker 2: let us know we've missed the mark. But it certainly 14 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,280 Speaker 2: questions that we're asking as moms and that we want 15 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 2: to navigate. 16 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:56,760 Speaker 1: And so, as I was thinking. 17 00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 2: About back to school and all the things that we're 18 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 2: thinking about, as I thought of my good friend Christy 19 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:06,639 Speaker 2: and her work on habits within the family, creating faith 20 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,960 Speaker 2: habits within the family. Her book, Little Habits, Big Faith 21 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,800 Speaker 2: is an awesome resource for those who are wanting to 22 00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 2: create faith habits within their family. And I think that 23 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 2: the back to school season is a great time to 24 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 2: think about that. 25 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,119 Speaker 1: And as we're already thinking about our. 26 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:26,520 Speaker 2: Routines and our schedules and evaluating those things. If we 27 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:30,920 Speaker 2: can tuck faith into those thoughts and think about how 28 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 2: we're creating discipleship rhythms for our families. Not complicated, not complex, 29 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:39,720 Speaker 2: but little habits that can make a big faith impact 30 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:40,480 Speaker 2: on our families. 31 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,360 Speaker 1: Christy, welcome to the show. 32 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:44,840 Speaker 3: Thanks so much. This is such a fun topic. 33 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 1: I love this. 34 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 2: Well, we've had Christy on our show before. You've heard 35 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:56,080 Speaker 2: from Christy. We released Everyday Prayers for Gentleness earlier this year, 36 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 2: and so we heard all from you, Christy about gentleness. 37 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,680 Speaker 2: But people may not know is that kind of the 38 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 2: thing you talk about the most, is this family discipleship? 39 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 2: And so I am like, we have to have Christia 40 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:09,640 Speaker 2: on to talk about. 41 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:10,840 Speaker 1: This as we start back school. 42 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 2: So tell us just a little bit about you for 43 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,160 Speaker 2: those who may not know you for sure. 44 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,640 Speaker 3: Well, I'm from Canada, so that's the accent, just so 45 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 3: you know. 46 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 4: And I have one husband, three boys, one dog, and 47 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:25,960 Speaker 4: three guinea pigs. And I used to be a children's 48 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 4: ministry director for quite a long time, almost twelve years, 49 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,360 Speaker 4: and then and then I resigned so that I could 50 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:35,360 Speaker 4: do author stuff and through that time found myself gravitating 51 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 4: toward talking about family discipleship because it was something that 52 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:39,560 Speaker 4: was already really on my heart when I was doing 53 00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:43,239 Speaker 4: children's ministry, So that just kind of became I guess 54 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:46,360 Speaker 4: my thing is talking about family discipleship. Not because I 55 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:48,240 Speaker 4: do it perfectly, because let me tell you, there's a 56 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 4: lot of times. 57 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 3: Where I'm like, oh, we're not doing this well, but 58 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,360 Speaker 3: because it about it so much. I think that's true 59 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:55,040 Speaker 3: for a lot of us. 60 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:57,639 Speaker 4: It's not we don't talk about these things because we're 61 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 4: perfect to them, but because we're passionate about them and 62 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:01,640 Speaker 4: we want to grow in them, and we want to 63 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 4: share what we've learned with others. 64 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 1: M m yeah, and what God is teaching us in that. 65 00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 2: So back to school season resets everyone's routines. 66 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 1: Why is this. 67 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,959 Speaker 2: Actually a great moment for parents to rethink their family's 68 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:19,519 Speaker 2: faith habits rather than just their carpool schedule. 69 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 4: Because it's, well, it's just a great moment, Like resetting 70 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 4: is always a great time to rethink about those things. 71 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,200 Speaker 4: You know, and our carpool habits are really important and 72 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,040 Speaker 4: the you know, if your homeschool parent, you may be 73 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 4: thinking about your curriculum or your your co op schedule 74 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 4: or something like that. There's you know, whatever school choice 75 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 4: you're making. We're kind of re imagining those routines. But really, 76 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 4: the thing that makes the most eternal difference in our kids' 77 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 4: lives is their faith. 78 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 3: And we don't want to just kind of put that 79 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 3: on the back burner. 80 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:49,720 Speaker 4: But we also it doesn't have to be something like 81 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,640 Speaker 4: a big hairy deal. I suppose like it kind of like, 82 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 4: on one hand, yeah, it is a big hairy deal 83 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 4: because it is all like our children's faith and their 84 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,840 Speaker 4: eternal destiny. And yet on the other hand, there are 85 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,800 Speaker 4: to do this that feel natural and organic, and some 86 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:05,400 Speaker 4: families are naturally good at this. I always found there's 87 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 4: some families that naturally are just like, yeah, we just 88 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,720 Speaker 4: talk about out all the time. I'm like, that is 89 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 4: not natural for me. So I kind of had to 90 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 4: learn how to weave that into my life. And you know, 91 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 4: the beginning of a new school year is a great 92 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,599 Speaker 4: time to think, Okay, so these are the things that 93 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:23,200 Speaker 4: we're going to be doing this year. How can we 94 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 4: we've God into what or invite God into what. 95 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:27,839 Speaker 1: We're already doing? 96 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:31,800 Speaker 4: Not as a random Oh, sometimes we remember God. But 97 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 4: as a okay, every time we do this one particular thing, 98 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:35,360 Speaker 4: we're turning. 99 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:36,120 Speaker 3: Our faces back to God. 100 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,840 Speaker 4: And so it just becomes a great time when you're 101 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:43,440 Speaker 4: already rethinking those habits, to just also rethink your spiritual habits. 102 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, at the same time, I love that. 103 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:49,680 Speaker 2: So you talk a lot about parents feeling overwhelmed, unequipped, 104 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:53,400 Speaker 2: or discouraged when it comes to discipling their kids. How 105 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 2: does that guilt show up, especially in the chaos of 106 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:56,920 Speaker 2: a new school year. 107 00:04:58,360 --> 00:04:59,360 Speaker 1: Well, we tend to. 108 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,720 Speaker 3: How does that guilt shop That's a good question. 109 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:06,520 Speaker 4: I think we tend to just kind of push it 110 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,240 Speaker 4: to the back burner. Then, so when we feel guilty 111 00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:11,880 Speaker 4: about something, especially something like this, we're like, well, I'm 112 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:12,919 Speaker 4: obviously not doing it. 113 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:15,200 Speaker 3: Well, so maybe I'm just going to outsource it to 114 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:15,760 Speaker 3: somebody else. 115 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:18,359 Speaker 4: I'm just gonna, you know, make a better effort to 116 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 4: get my kids to Sunday school on Sundays. And that's 117 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,240 Speaker 4: just going to have to be enough because we don't 118 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,000 Speaker 4: know how to do it in a way that doesn't 119 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,560 Speaker 4: make us feel guilty. But that's not some what God 120 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 4: calls us to, and he doesn't He doesn't call us 121 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 4: to perfection, and he doesn't call us to know everything 122 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,920 Speaker 4: or do everything. He just calls us to turn our 123 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,680 Speaker 4: faces toward him and take little steps. 124 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 1: There's so many things in the Bible. 125 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 4: About just just starting the next little thing, doing one 126 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:46,360 Speaker 4: tiny thing, or you know, giving, giving the little thing 127 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,599 Speaker 4: that you have, and God is the one who will 128 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 4: make it grow. So yeah, so the guilt comes partly 129 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 4: in well, I'm just going to let somebody else do it. 130 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,719 Speaker 4: Sometimes guilt comes in well, I'm just going to do 131 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,920 Speaker 4: all the things and I'm going to do it perfectly, 132 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:03,880 Speaker 4: And then we overwhelm. 133 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,719 Speaker 1: Ourselves or our kids are like, what are you doing? 134 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 4: I do not want to do this one hour long 135 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 4: workbook every day. I handle this and then they rebel 136 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 4: and then we think that we're terrible parents. But really 137 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 4: it's just because we tried to overcompensate out of our guilt. 138 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:19,560 Speaker 1: So instead of we can kind of. 139 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,039 Speaker 4: This is a terrible cliche, but not let go and 140 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:26,840 Speaker 4: let God, but start little and let God do the 141 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 4: the big, the heart work. 142 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:33,520 Speaker 1: Then yeah, that's good. That's good. 143 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 2: So what's the difference between adding one more thing that 144 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 2: getting overwhelmed? Adding that one more thing to an already 145 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 2: pat routine versus building a true keystone habit. 146 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,039 Speaker 1: That's what you talk about in your book. What's the 147 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:47,320 Speaker 1: difference between that. 148 00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:50,919 Speaker 4: Keystone habits are something really little that you shift in 149 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:54,000 Speaker 4: your life that has a big impact over time. So 150 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:58,800 Speaker 4: a keystone habit that I find it ends up kind 151 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:00,320 Speaker 4: of being a keystone. Sometimes you don't I was going 152 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:01,880 Speaker 4: to be a keystone until a few years later and 153 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,360 Speaker 4: you're like, wow, look at how that shifted. Anyway, So 154 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 4: a big habit may like I'm going to change all 155 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 4: of my children's bedtime routine. We're gonna have such a 156 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 4: good you know, it's gonna be great. My kids are 157 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 4: gonna go to bed happy, and I'm never gonna let 158 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 4: them have a second drink of water ever. Again, We're 159 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,760 Speaker 4: gonna read three books anyway. So that's kind of like 160 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 4: big routine overhaul. But instead, what if you think about, Okay, 161 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 4: bedtimes are just gonna be chaos. But what if right 162 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,680 Speaker 4: before I walk out of my child's room, I'm gonna 163 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,640 Speaker 4: put my hand on their forehead. I'm gonna say, may 164 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 4: the Lord bless you and keep you, May make his 165 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 4: face shine upon you and be gracious to you. 166 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,960 Speaker 3: May turn his face toward you and give you a peace. 167 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:40,200 Speaker 4: And that may not turn into something big, But what 168 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,960 Speaker 4: I've seen in a lot of families is that it 169 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,560 Speaker 4: actually does turn into something big, and it becomes one 170 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 4: of those keystones, kind of a lynchpin that changes the 171 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 4: bedtime because your kids know that you're gonna be walking 172 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:54,960 Speaker 4: out of there and you're not gonna be angry. Oh, 173 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,720 Speaker 4: just go to bed already, right, Sometimes that happens to 174 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 4: be do you just want to throw your children in 175 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,640 Speaker 4: bed and slam the door and Okay, we're good. So 176 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 4: they know they come to expect that you're going to 177 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 4: be walking out of there with gentleness. They come to 178 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:11,600 Speaker 4: expect that you're putting God's word on their heart and 179 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,440 Speaker 4: in their mind. As they leave, you leave more patient 180 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 4: and kind and that just kind of has this spillover 181 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 4: effect on the rest of your bedtime routine, which is 182 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:25,520 Speaker 4: kind of wild. I've had parents tell me that their 183 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:29,640 Speaker 4: kids started sleeping through the night better, they stopped having 184 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:32,079 Speaker 4: nightmares when they did something like that, And I think 185 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,200 Speaker 4: this is amazing, Like it's not magic and it's not 186 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 4: like health and wealth gospel, where if you do this 187 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,800 Speaker 4: one thing, everything's going to be better. 188 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:40,480 Speaker 1: What it does do. 189 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:43,440 Speaker 4: Is it kind of opens doors and like I said, 190 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 4: it has this spillover effect into other aspects of your life. 191 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 1: That's so good. 192 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:51,880 Speaker 2: We actually had the one more sip of water debate 193 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,520 Speaker 2: at our house last night. 194 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:56,959 Speaker 1: But I'm so thirsty. I'm so thirsty. 195 00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:00,320 Speaker 2: And you know something that my husband has begun doing that, 196 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,839 Speaker 2: I just we haven't talked about it, Like he hasn't 197 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,040 Speaker 2: mentioned it to me, but I've just noticed it in 198 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:08,599 Speaker 2: the past month, probably with our daughter particularly, and I 199 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 2: think there's something to this her father speaking this over her. 200 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:15,440 Speaker 2: But right before he leaves her room, he says to her, 201 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:20,400 Speaker 2: I love you and I'm so proud of you and 202 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,600 Speaker 2: kisses her on the cheek and then walks out of 203 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,160 Speaker 2: the room. And as you're saying this, and like he's 204 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 2: he's created that in her and he's intentionally I haven't 205 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:28,400 Speaker 2: even talked to him about it, but I know that's 206 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 2: probably a choice that he's made to intentionally speak those 207 00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:34,600 Speaker 2: words over her, and he's kind of created a habit 208 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:38,040 Speaker 2: without maybe I'm sure it was intentional to him. 209 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 1: I'll ask him about it this evening now now that 210 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:41,439 Speaker 1: you're saying. 211 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 3: This, But he plays something with that. 212 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 4: So I was doing a podcast interview a year or 213 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,760 Speaker 4: two ago, and I was talking to it was a 214 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:50,680 Speaker 4: male host, and he said that his dad did something 215 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,240 Speaker 4: like that with him when he was a kid. He 216 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,600 Speaker 4: always said every day he said, I love you, And 217 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,719 Speaker 4: he said, you know, what I just realized is that 218 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:00,080 Speaker 4: I didn't have that major disconnect with God that all 219 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:01,720 Speaker 4: my friends did when I was a teenager. 220 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,880 Speaker 1: I never noted for me, never once. 221 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,520 Speaker 4: And he realized it was probably in large part due 222 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:09,559 Speaker 4: to the fact that his earthly father said to him 223 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,640 Speaker 4: every day, I love you. I bet his dad would 224 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 4: never have guessed that that nightly saying I love you, 225 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,800 Speaker 4: or in your husband's case, I love you and I'm 226 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,920 Speaker 4: proud of you would have such an impact that it. 227 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 2: Did, and that security that we can offer and to 228 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:28,720 Speaker 2: our children in just that one simple little you know, 229 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,240 Speaker 2: after the brush your teeth. 230 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,920 Speaker 1: I've asked you three times to brush your teeth. 231 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:34,120 Speaker 2: Like I'm going to leave the bathroom when I come 232 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:37,680 Speaker 2: back on your teeth to be clean, right, And it's 233 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,680 Speaker 2: like just to end with that piece. 234 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,400 Speaker 1: What a beautiful what a beautiful suggestion. 235 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,320 Speaker 2: Okay, I want to get into you talk a lot 236 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:51,320 Speaker 2: about the faith growth cycle. Seed sprout and root. I 237 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:55,559 Speaker 2: want to talk about that just as a cycle. Can 238 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:59,080 Speaker 2: you walk us through it? How might we recognize what 239 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,320 Speaker 2: stage wi our child is in and where we can 240 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 2: meet them in that stage. 241 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 4: So the stages are more about like what's kind of 242 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,280 Speaker 4: going on in your family and in your own heart 243 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:12,240 Speaker 4: at the time more than and it's something that you 244 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,640 Speaker 4: kind of cycle through when your children are in different stages. 245 00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:16,160 Speaker 3: So I would say we all kind of start at 246 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:19,680 Speaker 3: this seed stage. I would consider that this stage where we're. 247 00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:22,480 Speaker 4: Like listening to God and actively praying Okay, God, like 248 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 4: where do you want me? 249 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:25,520 Speaker 3: What habits do you want me to start? 250 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 4: Because our tendency is just to be like, well, I 251 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:30,560 Speaker 4: see that family doing that, so I'm going to do 252 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,840 Speaker 4: that and just to jump right in and try it. 253 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,160 Speaker 4: And then sometimes it doesn't work or kids hate it, 254 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,240 Speaker 4: or you know, and then we. 255 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 1: Go, well, I'm just bad at this. 256 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:40,040 Speaker 4: Well, instead of that, we need to back up and 257 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:43,439 Speaker 4: we need to say okay, sometimes we need to plant 258 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:46,320 Speaker 4: those seeds deep first, and so we might need to 259 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:49,000 Speaker 4: sit on it for you know, a week, a month 260 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:51,120 Speaker 4: even and just say God, is there something that you 261 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,920 Speaker 4: want us to do? Sometimes this seed stage, you come 262 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 4: around back to it because you're like, wow, I'm really 263 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,040 Speaker 4: not doing I really want to read scripture with my kids, 264 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,120 Speaker 4: and I'm not doing any of that. And so you 265 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 4: take that feeling and you take it to God and 266 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 4: you say, Okay, I'm feeling kind of guilty about this. 267 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:08,960 Speaker 4: Is there something healthy that you want me to do? 268 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,920 Speaker 4: Is there like just grow this in me, this desire 269 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:15,120 Speaker 4: in me. So it's really just about that those moments 270 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 4: with you and God and you're thinking, well, why do 271 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 4: I want to do that? 272 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:19,280 Speaker 3: Am I feeling like I need to do more scripture 273 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:19,559 Speaker 3: with my. 274 00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:23,400 Speaker 4: Kids because I'm feeling guilty because I'm feeling like less 275 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 4: than the mom down the road? 276 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,959 Speaker 3: Or is it because God has put this in my heart? 277 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,960 Speaker 4: And so just kind of analyzing some of that and 278 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,160 Speaker 4: then so this doesn't necessarily have to be a very 279 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:33,720 Speaker 4: long stage. 280 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,240 Speaker 3: But then in the sprout stage, that's when I think 281 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:36,920 Speaker 3: is the most fun. 282 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:40,200 Speaker 4: So that's when you're taking whatever God has shown you 283 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,360 Speaker 4: and you're saying, okay, well, how can I turn this 284 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:43,199 Speaker 4: into a little habit? 285 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:47,720 Speaker 3: So then we look at what is it, like, where's 286 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:48,440 Speaker 3: the time in my life? 287 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:51,439 Speaker 4: And I can naturally invite God into something that I'm 288 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:54,439 Speaker 4: already doing with my kids regularly. So maybe you're already 289 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,040 Speaker 4: every school day you're putting the backpacks on the back. 290 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:59,760 Speaker 4: Maybe every school day you're eating breakfast with them and 291 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,840 Speaker 4: like actually sitting down and eating breakfast with them. Maybe 292 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 4: every day you're tucking them in whatever happens to be 293 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,320 Speaker 4: at whatever stage of life you happen to be. 294 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,920 Speaker 3: And there's something that you're doing with your kids regularly. 295 00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:13,000 Speaker 3: Maybe it's driving your kids to soccer practice. 296 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 4: I don't know what it is, but there's something that 297 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:18,520 Speaker 4: you're doing with your kids regularly, and then you figure out, okay, 298 00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:21,200 Speaker 4: so what's something really little that I could do to 299 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,840 Speaker 4: point us back to God in that time? 300 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,520 Speaker 1: So I'm not saying when you're driving your. 301 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 4: Kids to soccer practice you should be listening to a 302 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:30,440 Speaker 4: half an hour Tim Keller podcast. If that's not where 303 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,200 Speaker 4: we start for most families, that's going to be not 304 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,120 Speaker 4: a great place to start. But what if you could 305 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:40,000 Speaker 4: turn on some Christian music and just make that your habit, 306 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,320 Speaker 4: you know, instead of listening to something else in the 307 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 4: car we're not listening to. Maybe we're not going to 308 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,120 Speaker 4: listen to Taylor's Swift in the car anymore. Maybe we're 309 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:52,080 Speaker 4: gonna turn on I don't know, somebody else. We're just 310 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,760 Speaker 4: going to turn the Christian radio station or something. Not 311 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,480 Speaker 4: making any judgments, but Taylor's swift. I'm just saying it's 312 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:02,760 Speaker 4: a little bit different, right, Or maybe at breakfast time 313 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:03,880 Speaker 4: you're going to say, you know what, we're going to 314 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:05,760 Speaker 4: read one verse of a psalm, or we're going to 315 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:06,679 Speaker 4: read one proverb. 316 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,120 Speaker 3: I mean, I've heard people say like, we're going to 317 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:09,720 Speaker 3: read a chapter of Proverbs. 318 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:11,800 Speaker 4: A day, and that's great if your family's ready for that, 319 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,680 Speaker 4: but that's not a great place to start for most 320 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:16,920 Speaker 4: of rights. You just say, I just make it like 321 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:19,400 Speaker 4: you're looking for the lowest hanging fruit. You're going to say, 322 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:21,600 Speaker 4: I think we're just going to read one proverb a day, 323 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:25,080 Speaker 4: because it allows that to kind of get into your schedule. 324 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 3: So I say, okay, at breakfast, when I sit down 325 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,360 Speaker 3: with my kids, it's just gonna open my Bible, which 326 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:30,200 Speaker 3: is going to be on the table. 327 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:31,920 Speaker 4: I'm just gonna leave it on the table all the time, 328 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 4: and I'm just gonna open it up. 329 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:34,320 Speaker 1: I'm gonna read the. 330 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,480 Speaker 3: Next proverb and that's it. 331 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:38,880 Speaker 4: Yeah, And you're just going to start with the easiest 332 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 4: possible thing, and once you're remembering to do that regularly 333 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 4: because it's the fact that it's easy and that it's 334 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,280 Speaker 4: tied to something that you're already doing that's helping you remember. 335 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,000 Speaker 4: Because that's a big problem that we have, right We're like, well, 336 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:51,760 Speaker 4: I want to do these things, but I never remember 337 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,720 Speaker 4: it to do them. So if you make it really 338 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:57,080 Speaker 4: tiny and really easy, and you connect it to something 339 00:14:57,120 --> 00:15:00,000 Speaker 4: you're doing regularly, that's where the magic happens. 340 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:01,840 Speaker 3: That's where you actually remember to do it. 341 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,960 Speaker 4: So then okay, so maybe a few weeks later you're like, whoa, 342 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 4: I'm remembering to read this. 343 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:10,320 Speaker 1: Proverb every day every morning. Well maybe maybe tomorrow I'm 344 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,160 Speaker 1: gonna ask my kids what do you think that means? 345 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,760 Speaker 3: What do you have an example of that? 346 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:18,280 Speaker 4: Or maybe you're just gonna pray, oh, so this is 347 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:20,600 Speaker 4: this would be then sorry I'm jumping ahead of myself. 348 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,080 Speaker 4: This would be the root stage, where so we've embedded 349 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,320 Speaker 4: this tiny habit in our lives. 350 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,560 Speaker 3: That's that'spro stage. And now on the root stage. 351 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:30,360 Speaker 4: We're gonna say, Okay, the little habit is great, but 352 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:34,840 Speaker 4: now how can we grow it? So maybe instead of 353 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,480 Speaker 4: just reading a proverb, then we're reading a proverb and praying, 354 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,520 Speaker 4: or maybe we're maybe this is where we moved. 355 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,360 Speaker 1: To a whole chapter of proverbs. I don't know. I 356 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 1: think still think that's a lot. But they all start psalm. 357 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,080 Speaker 4: I mean, guess it depends on the ages of your kids, right, 358 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:53,440 Speaker 4: maybe we're gonna read a short psalm or whatever that 359 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:54,080 Speaker 4: happens to be. 360 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,920 Speaker 3: Sometimes sometimes we never hit the root stage. 361 00:15:56,960 --> 00:16:01,200 Speaker 4: Sometimes our little habits just stay tin So for example, 362 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:04,840 Speaker 4: if you're I have talked to some parents who will 363 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,880 Speaker 4: just pray for their kids when they put. 364 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 1: Their backpack on. 365 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,360 Speaker 4: So they put their backpack on, they're on their way 366 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 4: out the door, They're praying for their kids real quick. 367 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:13,200 Speaker 4: That's you're not really going to be able to develop 368 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,760 Speaker 4: that into like this big, long, meaningful prayer time. It's 369 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,400 Speaker 4: always going to be short. But guess what your kid 370 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,200 Speaker 4: is going to school now with that prayer in their hearts, 371 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:24,480 Speaker 4: you've invited God into their dating. So sometimes we start 372 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:27,240 Speaker 4: at that end, at that sprout stage, and sometimes it's 373 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:30,280 Speaker 4: appropriate to move into the root stage where we go 374 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 4: into something else and then and then the power of 375 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:36,800 Speaker 4: that is you know, your kids start growing up and 376 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:38,840 Speaker 4: they're like or that you know, they stop going to soccer, 377 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,280 Speaker 4: or you stop eating breakfast with them every day, or 378 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,280 Speaker 4: you're you know, they're running out the door because they're 379 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,600 Speaker 4: older and you're not putting their backpacks on every morning, 380 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:48,480 Speaker 4: And then you might find well, this is terrible because 381 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:51,040 Speaker 4: now I've lost my beautiful little habit and I'm so sad. 382 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,040 Speaker 4: So instead of just wallowing in that, you say, okay, 383 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,080 Speaker 4: well we're doing other things. 384 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:56,360 Speaker 1: Let's go somebody doing. 385 00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:00,880 Speaker 4: Yeah, what's something different that we could And in this 386 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 4: new stage and over time they kind of morph and change. 387 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:06,359 Speaker 3: Some things will stick with you and they'll grow. 388 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 4: I actually my oldest son is seventeen and a half 389 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,560 Speaker 4: and I've been praying that blessing over him every night 390 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:16,040 Speaker 4: since he was born, and so probably ninety nine point 391 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,960 Speaker 4: eight percent of nights of his life he's had that. 392 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,439 Speaker 4: There has been sometimes where heaven, but I go to 393 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,880 Speaker 4: bed before him now, and before I go to bed, 394 00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:25,840 Speaker 4: I go give him a hug. And if I don't 395 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:28,239 Speaker 4: give him a hug, he kiss me a hug. And 396 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,680 Speaker 4: then I've prayed that over home. It's just something that 397 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,720 Speaker 4: has stuck. And sometimes it's been longer there, you know, 398 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 4: when he was younger, we would sit and we'd read 399 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,280 Speaker 4: the Bible, and now he's doing that on his own. 400 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:42,520 Speaker 4: But so, but that's kind of the almost been, like 401 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:43,680 Speaker 4: the little through line of. 402 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,880 Speaker 5: His growing up years is this blessing that right over 403 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:50,359 Speaker 5: him that's so special, that's really really neat, really neat. Again, 404 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:54,520 Speaker 5: so starting small is the key and attaching it to 405 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:58,400 Speaker 5: something that we have are already doing with our kids. 406 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,760 Speaker 5: And I love that because I think we do have 407 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,080 Speaker 5: good intentions, don't we. 408 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,239 Speaker 2: We want to do good things with our kids. We 409 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,840 Speaker 2: want to point our kids to Christ. And then at 410 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:08,960 Speaker 2: the end of the day, I like to tell my 411 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,040 Speaker 2: husband right now I have a seven month old and 412 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:15,159 Speaker 2: an almost five year old, and so with the baby, 413 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:16,640 Speaker 2: I feel like by the end of the day, when 414 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:19,880 Speaker 2: we get everybody asleep, I feel like my mind can 415 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 2: kind of think for the first time. When everybody goes 416 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:25,160 Speaker 2: to sleep for the day, it's like wow, things start 417 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,359 Speaker 2: popping into my head and then it's like, oh, I 418 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,520 Speaker 2: wish I would have done this or that or whatever. 419 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,399 Speaker 2: And then it's like, oh, well, then tomorrow then I 420 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,200 Speaker 2: go through the same thing, and at the end I'm like, oh, 421 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,040 Speaker 2: I wish I should you know, So I think this 422 00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:39,240 Speaker 2: is such a great thing to help with those kind 423 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:42,000 Speaker 2: of days that it can just feel like maybe you're 424 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:45,560 Speaker 2: just going through the motions, or you know, what are 425 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:48,840 Speaker 2: those motions, and what's just one thing you can start with, 426 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:49,879 Speaker 2: one thing you can do. 427 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,080 Speaker 1: Okay, So I want to talk a. 428 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:57,280 Speaker 2: Little bit about prompts and rewards. You talk about prompts 429 00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 2: and rewards, and I think that is a neat concept. 430 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 2: What are some ideas of maybe these back to school 431 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:08,879 Speaker 2: year routines doubling up as a prompt. 432 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:12,480 Speaker 4: So every every action that we do in our entire 433 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:14,160 Speaker 4: lives has a prompt. 434 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,120 Speaker 1: Just just so we're clear. 435 00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:18,440 Speaker 4: Prompts are not just something that we do for our habits, 436 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,880 Speaker 4: as I'm sure you already know, but just so our 437 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:24,560 Speaker 4: listeners are clear, Prompts are something that we have for 438 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:25,280 Speaker 4: every behavior. 439 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:26,760 Speaker 3: I get out of bed in the morning because. 440 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:30,119 Speaker 4: I have to go pee, i eat because I'm hungry, 441 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:31,360 Speaker 4: or because it's the time of day. 442 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,760 Speaker 3: There's always a prompt. And there's different kinds of prompts. 443 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 4: So there's prompts like like the internal feeling of you know, 444 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,840 Speaker 4: I'm hungry or I should do this thing. Now, there's 445 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,720 Speaker 4: external prompts like a school bell or a timer telling 446 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,560 Speaker 4: you to do something. But the best kind of prompts 447 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:51,200 Speaker 4: are called anchor prompts. That's a phrase that bj Fog coined. 448 00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:53,520 Speaker 4: So an inkor prompt is something that you're already doing 449 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 4: in your day. So you're already putting your coffee in 450 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,480 Speaker 4: the microwave, what could you do while. 451 00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:02,040 Speaker 2: You're If you're not, please tell us how you're not, 452 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:05,640 Speaker 2: because yes, you drink get a cold, Yes you are 453 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:06,760 Speaker 2: for a long time. 454 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:07,920 Speaker 3: I did drink my coffee cold. 455 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,200 Speaker 1: Anyway, So maybe you're eating. 456 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,960 Speaker 4: Breakfast, you may be putting on your kids' backpacks, you 457 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:17,680 Speaker 4: may be driving to and from school, or even more 458 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:20,600 Speaker 4: specific of a prompt from driving is just clicking on 459 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,480 Speaker 4: your seat belt. You put on your seat belt, or 460 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,960 Speaker 4: you put your kid's seat belts on. That could be 461 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:30,119 Speaker 4: your prompt to pray for them, bless them, bring up something, 462 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,800 Speaker 4: whatever you want waiting for the bus. I talked to 463 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:35,399 Speaker 4: a mom once who decided that she was going to 464 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,640 Speaker 4: start memorizing scripture with their kids while they were waiting 465 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:38,240 Speaker 4: for the bus. 466 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:39,520 Speaker 1: So they would go out. 467 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,400 Speaker 4: They would be standing there and she's like, okay, here's 468 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,240 Speaker 4: the first we're going to practice. And they would memorize 469 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,480 Speaker 4: it and or they would work on it together and 470 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,640 Speaker 4: then the bus would come and move on with their day. 471 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:51,080 Speaker 4: So waiting for the bus when you're packing your kids lunch, 472 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,439 Speaker 4: I have heard of, you know, some parents who will 473 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,680 Speaker 4: you know, pray over their kids when they're packing their lunch, 474 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:59,480 Speaker 4: driving a sports pactice, waiting and pick up lines, walking. 475 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:00,000 Speaker 3: In the door from school. 476 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:04,200 Speaker 4: Like honestly, anything that you do every day, and it 477 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,800 Speaker 4: doesn't have to be a big thing, like walking in 478 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 4: the door, going to the bathroom, reheating your coffee, coffee, 479 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 4: those are those are prompts, or they can be prompts 480 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:14,600 Speaker 4: for the things that you want to do. So you 481 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,639 Speaker 4: want to pick something that you're already doing and then 482 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,639 Speaker 4: you're going to pair your new thing with that. So 483 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:23,320 Speaker 4: but you talked about the rewards, and often we think 484 00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:26,200 Speaker 4: of you know, rewarding ourself or remembering to do something 485 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,719 Speaker 4: like this by you know, creating a sticker chart or 486 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,800 Speaker 4: you know, if we do this five times or twenty times, 487 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:32,800 Speaker 4: we're going to go up the ice cream. But the 488 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,120 Speaker 4: same guy, doctor bj Fogg, he wrote a book called 489 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:36,680 Speaker 4: Tiny Habits. 490 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,119 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's called Tiny Habits. 491 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,359 Speaker 4: Anyway, it was my favorite of all the habit formation 492 00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:44,439 Speaker 4: books because it really drilled into this idea of the 493 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,800 Speaker 4: tiny habits. And he says that if I had to 494 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:50,320 Speaker 4: start again, I would start by teaching people the concept 495 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,800 Speaker 4: of celebrating and rewards, because what you want to do 496 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,119 Speaker 4: is you want to complete this cycle in your brain 497 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,439 Speaker 4: that says, oh, we felt good by doing that. 498 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,200 Speaker 1: So reward might be. 499 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:03,600 Speaker 3: We give our kids a high five. 500 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:06,920 Speaker 4: The lady that I talked to or talked about who 501 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,479 Speaker 4: was practicing Scripture versus while waiting for the bus, she 502 00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,080 Speaker 4: had three little boys, and so she was trying to 503 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:14,280 Speaker 4: think of a reward, and I said, you know what 504 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,120 Speaker 4: my kids really love is when I let them give 505 00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:18,960 Speaker 4: me a really hard high five. And then sometimes I'm 506 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,320 Speaker 4: hamming it up like oh ow that hurt, and sometimes I. 507 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:22,960 Speaker 3: Really am hurt, actually hurts. 508 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:25,359 Speaker 1: They love that. 509 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,199 Speaker 3: So after they would practice their verse, they would get to. 510 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,720 Speaker 4: Give her a high five, and that left it on 511 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:32,760 Speaker 4: a high note for them, so they wanted to do 512 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,480 Speaker 4: it again. That's the kind of reward I'm talking about. 513 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,560 Speaker 4: So maybe your reward is a hug. So maybe you know, 514 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:40,480 Speaker 4: after you bless your kids, you just give them a 515 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,359 Speaker 4: little peck on the cheek, or you give them a hug, 516 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,800 Speaker 4: or maybe the reward. Honestly, rewards can also be internal. 517 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,680 Speaker 4: Maybe the reward is just you say to yourself, I remember. 518 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:49,960 Speaker 1: To do it. 519 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,760 Speaker 4: Or the reward is that feeling of peace that comes 520 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:54,399 Speaker 4: over with you when you walk out of your child's 521 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,439 Speaker 4: bedroom and you're like, okay, that was a good moment. 522 00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,240 Speaker 1: Yeah right, yes, most of my evening is that to me. 523 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,639 Speaker 3: So there's lots of different rewards. 524 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,480 Speaker 4: It does help if when you're trying to create a 525 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,760 Speaker 4: new habit, if you can kind of consider a. 526 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,919 Speaker 3: Reward that would work for you or for your children 527 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:13,359 Speaker 3: as well. 528 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,639 Speaker 4: So just when you're starting to you know, starting to 529 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:17,320 Speaker 4: do it, because sometimes you have to kind of bake 530 00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:20,040 Speaker 4: it into the process in order for it to be exciting, 531 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,920 Speaker 4: because sometimes praying with your kids doesn't naturally just bring 532 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,960 Speaker 4: you joy. Sometimes they're just rude and squirrelly, and so 533 00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:28,159 Speaker 4: you need something at the end of that to make 534 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:29,200 Speaker 4: you want to do it again. 535 00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:32,560 Speaker 1: Otherwise you'll just be like, well that didn't work, and 536 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:33,040 Speaker 1: you just. 537 00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,359 Speaker 4: At the end of it you're like, okay, give me 538 00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:39,880 Speaker 4: a high five, or you just say to yourself, you. 539 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:45,200 Speaker 1: Know what that honor God or just today. Yeah, yeah, 540 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:46,840 Speaker 1: I really liked that. That mattered. 541 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:48,919 Speaker 3: I'm so glad I did that. Thank you God for 542 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:49,639 Speaker 3: remember helping me. 543 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,360 Speaker 4: Remember and give yourself a pat on the back, you know, Christie, 544 00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:53,760 Speaker 4: Ye'll remember to do that. 545 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:55,560 Speaker 1: It was hard threw it. 546 00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:59,359 Speaker 4: So you're just completing that that cycle in your brain 547 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:02,600 Speaker 4: because we now naturally this is how God wired our brains, right, 548 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,960 Speaker 4: we want to do things that make us feel good, 549 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:07,879 Speaker 4: and so we can almost like hack that system in 550 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:11,160 Speaker 4: our brain by making the thing that we're doing feel 551 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,280 Speaker 4: good to us and to our children, even if it 552 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:17,400 Speaker 4: doesn't kind of naturally have a natural high. 553 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,040 Speaker 2: Oh that's so good, and that it doesn't have to 554 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:23,320 Speaker 2: be complex, like it can be something really simple to 555 00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:26,480 Speaker 2: kind of kind of close that loop. That's really good. Agay, Christy, 556 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,639 Speaker 2: we are winding down on our time. So what do 557 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:31,760 Speaker 2: have we not talked about that you want to make 558 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:36,680 Speaker 2: sure parents know as they are thinking about back to school, 559 00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:38,600 Speaker 2: fate habits. 560 00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:41,200 Speaker 1: Okay, Well I'm going to leave you with some scripture. 561 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:45,480 Speaker 4: Actually, so there's a story in Zechariah so Zecharia is 562 00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:48,560 Speaker 4: written after the di Israelites have gone into exile, they've 563 00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:51,720 Speaker 4: come back. They started trying to rebuild the temple, and 564 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:54,560 Speaker 4: they got scared off because the Smaritans and some people 565 00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:56,920 Speaker 4: groups around them were like, they actually wrote to the 566 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,159 Speaker 4: king and they were like, these guys are like, you know, 567 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:03,199 Speaker 4: gonna have these guys are gonna rebel against you. So 568 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,080 Speaker 4: the king says, stop building your temple. And so anyway, 569 00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:07,600 Speaker 4: the Israelites get scared and they stop building their temple. 570 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 4: And so Zecharia is a priest at the time, and 571 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,680 Speaker 4: God comes to him in a dream and says, dude, 572 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 4: you guys are building our houses. 573 00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:16,560 Speaker 1: Then you're not building my temple. You're not building my house. 574 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,000 Speaker 1: Here's what I want you to do. Just put one 575 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:20,280 Speaker 1: stone on. 576 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,919 Speaker 3: Sorry, I'm trying to remember the actual verse. It says, 577 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,600 Speaker 3: do not despise the small beginnings. 578 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:33,800 Speaker 4: The Lord rejoices to see the work begin. There it 579 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,200 Speaker 4: is do not despise the small beginnings, for the Lord 580 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:40,000 Speaker 4: rejoices to see the work begin. And then in Zachariah four, 581 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,480 Speaker 4: God says, it's not by force or by strength, but 582 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:47,440 Speaker 4: by my spirit, says the Lord of Heaven's armies. 583 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,399 Speaker 6: So we don't need to like force our kids. We 584 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,199 Speaker 6: need don't need to force a huge routine change. We 585 00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:56,400 Speaker 6: just need to start little, the Lord rejoices to see 586 00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,360 Speaker 6: the work begin. It's not by our force or our 587 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,680 Speaker 6: might or our strength. That's kind of the point of 588 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:04,680 Speaker 6: the whole Bible. It's not on our own strength, but 589 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:05,840 Speaker 6: by God's spirit. 590 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:06,840 Speaker 1: And that's what's. 591 00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:08,480 Speaker 3: Actually going to change our kids' heart. So, yes, we 592 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,000 Speaker 3: have a role to play. We are, you know, in 593 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,280 Speaker 3: our school year, in our summer, you know, off like 594 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,520 Speaker 3: tipping our kids' faces back to God. 595 00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:19,560 Speaker 4: But it really isn't you know, their eternal you know, 596 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,719 Speaker 4: heart change isn't based on what we do. It's not 597 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:25,560 Speaker 4: by our force or by our strength. It is by 598 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,960 Speaker 4: God's spirit. He's the one who takes heard hearts and 599 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,920 Speaker 4: he makes them soft. He's the one who's drawing them 600 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:34,479 Speaker 4: to Him with cords of human loving kindness. That is 601 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,280 Speaker 4: that is God's role. Our role is just going to 602 00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:40,359 Speaker 4: keep pointing our kids to them whenever we can, to 603 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,159 Speaker 4: be faithful in those small things. 604 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:46,359 Speaker 2: What an ex hell that is, right, what an excel 605 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,400 Speaker 2: it is, And that's what we That's what we do 606 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,919 Speaker 2: here on the Everyday Prayers Podcast, a bout encouraging moms 607 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,439 Speaker 2: to pray for our kids. We so we partner with 608 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,239 Speaker 2: God for the hearts of our children. We know we 609 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,800 Speaker 2: can't win the hearts of our children for God, but 610 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:01,880 Speaker 2: by His spirit, we can pray for them and pray 611 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:05,040 Speaker 2: for their needs and intercede on their behalf and trust 612 00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:07,280 Speaker 2: God to do the work, which is hard for us 613 00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,159 Speaker 2: as moms right because we want to fix things and 614 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,359 Speaker 2: we want to control things, and we want things to 615 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:15,359 Speaker 2: happen right now for our kids. And you know, although 616 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:18,359 Speaker 2: I have littles, I served in youth ministry for many 617 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:22,040 Speaker 2: years and watch parents wrestle when teenagers were making decisions 618 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,560 Speaker 2: that they weren't honoring their family or weren't honoring God, 619 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,760 Speaker 2: and they felt like it was out of their control. 620 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:31,760 Speaker 2: And certainly that's a hard thing to navigate. When do 621 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,159 Speaker 2: you step in and when do you don't as your 622 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:37,000 Speaker 2: kids are navigating moving into adulthood. 623 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:38,960 Speaker 1: And that I'm not one qualified to talk on that, 624 00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:40,679 Speaker 1: but I think. 625 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:44,199 Speaker 2: That what is so important is just that we recognize 626 00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:49,560 Speaker 2: that we cannot control our children's faith. But we can, 627 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:53,119 Speaker 2: like you said, continually point them back to Jesus again 628 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:54,160 Speaker 2: and again and again. 629 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,360 Speaker 1: And we can control our prayers. 630 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:59,360 Speaker 2: We can control our prayers on their behalf, and when 631 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,080 Speaker 2: we show up day in and day out for our 632 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:05,080 Speaker 2: kids in prayer, we can feel like we are partnering 633 00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:07,639 Speaker 2: with God in the difference that He is making in 634 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:08,320 Speaker 2: their lives. 635 00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:16,879 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so good. Yeah, I love that. We just 636 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:18,240 Speaker 1: appreciate you so much. 637 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:20,159 Speaker 2: And friends, I know you're gonna want to grab a 638 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:24,439 Speaker 2: copy of Christy's book to start thinking about habits and 639 00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:25,680 Speaker 2: your family in this. 640 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:26,800 Speaker 1: Back to school season. 641 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,960 Speaker 2: Christy, tell us where people can find your book for sure? 642 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:34,719 Speaker 4: Well, my website is Little Shoots Deep Roots, so similar 643 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:36,560 Speaker 4: to Little Habits, Big Faith. But I mean the easiest 644 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:38,560 Speaker 4: place is just to go to Amazon again Little Habits 645 00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,800 Speaker 4: Big Faith. You could definitely do it there if you 646 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:44,840 Speaker 4: want to connect with me further on Instagram TikTok new 647 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:48,320 Speaker 4: and my website is Little Shoots Deep Roots. 648 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,360 Speaker 2: Okay, Well, Christy, thanks so much, And I wonder if 649 00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:53,720 Speaker 2: you could pray for our moms as we close out 650 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,000 Speaker 2: our conversation today. 651 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:59,080 Speaker 4: For sure, God, we thank you so much that you 652 00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:01,520 Speaker 4: are the one who hearts that it is. 653 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,200 Speaker 3: Not all on us to do the work. 654 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,320 Speaker 4: Thank you that we get to partner with you, that 655 00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,400 Speaker 4: you call us to tip our own faces back to you. 656 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:11,840 Speaker 3: Regularly for our children's faces back to you. 657 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:14,680 Speaker 4: Regularly, and we just thank you for what it says 658 00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,800 Speaker 4: in Isaiah sixty one that as the soil makes this 659 00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:19,360 Speaker 4: broat come up, and a garden causes seeds to grow, 660 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,360 Speaker 4: so the sovereign Lord will make righteousness and praise spring 661 00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:23,600 Speaker 4: up before all the nations. 662 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:24,560 Speaker 3: We thank you that we. 663 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,360 Speaker 4: Get to plant those seeds, but you are the one 664 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:30,280 Speaker 4: who makes the righteousness and the praise spring up before 665 00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:33,240 Speaker 4: the nations. We pray that for our children, that they 666 00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:36,160 Speaker 4: would be the righteousness and praise it springs up, that 667 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:39,040 Speaker 4: they would bring honor and glory to you. Not because 668 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:41,920 Speaker 4: we're awesome parents, but because you are an awesome parent, 669 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,520 Speaker 4: and you were the blade who has drawn them to. 670 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:49,480 Speaker 1: You and changed their hearts. Jesus Name, Amen, Amen, Amen. 671 00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,120 Speaker 2: Thank you, Christy and friends. We'll be back together as 672 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:55,440 Speaker 2: we continue praying through the Fruits of the Spirit and 673 00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:59,880 Speaker 2: for our kids this back to school season. As part 674 00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:02,120 Speaker 2: of of our Fruit of the Spirit prayers and everyday 675 00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:05,640 Speaker 2: prayers for the school year book club, Tara Cole and 676 00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:09,479 Speaker 2: I created a free car Conversations guide for your family 677 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:13,120 Speaker 2: to use this fall. The car is sometimes the best 678 00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:17,640 Speaker 2: place for our most precious conversations with our kids, as 679 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:20,080 Speaker 2: we are praying through the fruit of the Spirit. Our 680 00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:23,640 Speaker 2: hope is that you can have meaningful conversations with your 681 00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:27,160 Speaker 2: kids about what living out these fruit looks like in 682 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:30,000 Speaker 2: their daily lives. Tara and I created a series of 683 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,600 Speaker 2: quick questions. She wrote some for the older kids, I 684 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:35,320 Speaker 2: wrote some for younger kids, and we share a prayer 685 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:38,160 Speaker 2: that you can share with your children about each of 686 00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:41,680 Speaker 2: the fruit of the Spirit. Download your copy for free 687 00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:44,040 Speaker 2: on our website or the link in our show notes. 688 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:48,640 Speaker 2: Until next time, friends, the Lord bless you and keep you. 689 00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:53,280 Speaker 2: Make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. 690 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:56,200 Speaker 2: May the Lord look with favor on you and give 691 00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:56,880 Speaker 2: you peace.