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Speaker 1: Life Audio.

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Speaker 2: Hi there, and welcome to the Praying Christian Women podcast,

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Speaker 2: where we talk about the deep questions about prayer that

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Speaker 2: we're all thinking about but sometimes afraid to ask. Whether

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Speaker 2: you're new to the faith or have been a believer

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Speaker 2: for decades, this podcast will be your go to for

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Speaker 2: biblical encouragement, inspiration, and practical tips to equip you with

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Speaker 2: the tools you need to live out a more passionate,

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Speaker 2: powerful prayer life so that together we can change the world,

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Speaker 2: one prayer at a time.

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Speaker 1: Jamie, Welcome to Christian parent Crazy World. It's so awesome

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Speaker 1: to have you here.

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Speaker 2: Yes and Catherine, Welcome to the Praying Christian Women Podcast.

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Speaker 2: It's really fun to get to do these joint episodes.

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Speaker 2: I'm glad we get to do it.

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Speaker 1: I know we got to meet each other because we

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Speaker 1: are both live audio podcasters, and we join together recently

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Speaker 1: to do a really incredible, powerful episode on prayer. And

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Speaker 1: I thoroughly enjoyed.

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Speaker 2: My conversation Jamie.

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Speaker 1: I thought it was awesome. We wanted to get back

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Speaker 1: together to have a conversation that I have not had

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Speaker 1: on my show before. Of course, I have a parenting podcast.

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Speaker 1: I'll tell your listeners just a little bit in case

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Speaker 1: they're tuning in for the first time about me, and

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Speaker 1: then I want you to introduce yourself to my audience.

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Speaker 1: My name is Catherine Seegers. I live in Sweet Home, Alabama.

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Speaker 1: That is Lynyrd Skinnerd Territory. I do believe that we

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Speaker 1: have the best state song of all the songs that

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Speaker 1: are out there. There's some other good ones, but I

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Speaker 1: really love Sweet Home, Alabama. We have five kids that

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Speaker 1: I homeschool. They are ages twenty to age eight. We're

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Speaker 1: actually in the process of moving back to Nashville, Tennessee.

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Speaker 1: So we're in the process of moving. It's been a

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Speaker 1: really big stretching season of our lives. But I host

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Speaker 1: Christian parent Crazy World. We talk about tough topics, theological, relational,

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Speaker 1: apologetic issues, anything it's contributing to the youth exodus we

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Speaker 1: talk about. And I love to dig into deep spiritual,

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Speaker 1: meaty topics as well, like we did with the prayer

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Speaker 1: topic we did, but today we're going to talk about

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Speaker 1: letting go. We'll get into that topic in a minute.

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Speaker 1: But why don't you introduce yourself to my audience.

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Speaker 2: Sure, I'm Jamie Hampton, I co host the Praying Christian

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Speaker 2: Women podcast with my friend Alana Terry, and we.

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Speaker 1: Talk about prayer topics.

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Speaker 2: We sometimes have interviews with people about prayer. We have

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Speaker 2: some devotional Wednesday episodes that are just prayer through the song.

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Speaker 2: And I'm a mom of three kids. One is in

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Speaker 2: elementary school, ones in middle school, one is flown the

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Speaker 2: coop to college. So yeah, we recently relocated from Alaska

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Speaker 2: to Utah. I don't know of any songs about the

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Speaker 2: state of Utah, but if anyone knows, an you please

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Speaker 2: let us go so that we can so that I

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Speaker 2: can claim that as my own. I definitely don't have

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Speaker 2: any cool songs about right. No, no, here's a good

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Speaker 2: I'm for you, Tom.

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Speaker 1: Well, I have to work on that one. Maybe someone

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Speaker 1: needs to In Alaska, it's one of the most beautiful states.

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Speaker 1: Right there's songs about that state. There ought to be,

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Speaker 1: but I can't honestly think of any. But it is

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Speaker 1: an amazing state.

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Speaker 2: There are lots of movies and reality shows though about Alaska.

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Speaker 1: You know what they always do though when I see

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Speaker 1: them so often, like one of the Christmas movies or something,

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Speaker 1: they set it up there. But in December, you guys

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Speaker 1: didn't have a lot of sunlight, did you like in

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Speaker 1: the middle of the day.

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Speaker 2: Not too much. No, it's kind of like sort of

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Speaker 2: late afternoon through the whole daylight. So it's like, you know,

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Speaker 2: ten am to three pm, you'll have kind of a

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Speaker 2: dusky sort of looking afternoon sun that just kind of

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Speaker 2: goes like kind of along the horizon, very low during

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Speaker 2: close to the winter solstice.

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Speaker 1: Right, Okay, I've seen movies like where it's bright sunshine,

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Speaker 1: like it's seven o'clock in the morning. I'm like, that

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Speaker 1: is that if they are filling that in summer clerically, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's not the way. I have not been there. I

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Speaker 1: would love to go to Alaska hopefully one day. Hopefully,

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Speaker 1: one day, maybe when our little ones have moved out

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Speaker 1: of the nest. Which is a little segue there to

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Speaker 1: the topic that we're talking about today. Maybe when we

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Speaker 1: have a little fewer seekers in the household, we'll be

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Speaker 1: able to take a big trip to Alaska. But that's

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Speaker 1: a topic we're talking about today, the process of letting

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Speaker 1: our kids go. It's a process. When you think that starts, Jamie,

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Speaker 1: when does that letting go process start?

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm going to steal yours because you said something

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Speaker 2: about the umbilical cord, and that was so profound. I mean,

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Speaker 2: you know, in my head, the letting go process starts

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Speaker 2: pretty much as soon as they're born. But I love

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Speaker 2: that umbilical cord analogy because yeah, it really does. It's

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Speaker 2: something that incrementally you just kind of have these different

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Speaker 2: things that you thought you had to do for them,

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Speaker 2: and then you discover that you didn't and you know,

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Speaker 2: put the ball in their court let them take over

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Speaker 2: imperfectly at first, which is my biggest struggle, I think

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Speaker 2: is realizing that I could do it better for them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so that happens all the time in homeschooling. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: I'm tempted to do the work for them because I

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Speaker 1: think I spent an hour and a half to two

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Speaker 1: hours on my daughter's English lesson this morning. It was painful.

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Speaker 1: There might have been tears, and they weren't hers or

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Speaker 1: all hers, like, oh, this would be so much either

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Speaker 1: if I could just do it for them. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: that process I believe begins at the umbilical cord. That

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Speaker 1: that is the first time they're no longer fully with us.

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Speaker 1: All of the time, we can leave them in a

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Speaker 1: different room while they're taking a nap or whatever, But

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Speaker 1: the process and then successively and to the time they

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Speaker 1: leave the nest, we never let go completely because we're

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Speaker 1: always going to be a major influence in their lives.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, that process, it starts day one. Really, So you.

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Speaker 2: Posed a question about what is the silliest or most

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Speaker 2: unexpected moment you realized that your child didn't need you

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Speaker 2: in the same way anymore. So do you have something?

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Speaker 2: Have you thought of something for that?

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Speaker 1: I was trying to tell you one and it was

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Speaker 1: my own question. This one kind of happened to me

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Speaker 1: recently because sometimes you have an expectation that all your

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Speaker 1: kids are going to react to certain situations the same way,

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Speaker 1: and they don't. So we're in the process of this

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Speaker 1: huge transition moving to Nashville and my older to my

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Speaker 1: twin year old and my seventeen year old. At first,

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Speaker 1: when it wasn't quite solidified that this was what we

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Speaker 1: were doing, was actually just leading up to the job interview.

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Speaker 1: Segars one and Seegers two were kind of I don't

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Speaker 1: want to say, freaking out about it, but they were

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Speaker 1: struggling with it. It was challenging. It was really causing them.

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Speaker 1: I guess we shall say a lack of peace in

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Speaker 1: their lives. But my third child, she's quite different. She's

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Speaker 1: fifteen years old. The same day that we were going

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Speaker 1: up to interview for the position, she was leaving for

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Speaker 1: a missions trip to Mexico, and so, you know, we

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Speaker 1: were all packing up to leave at the same time

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Speaker 1: us to go up to Nashville to interview for a

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Speaker 1: job position that will greatly affect her, as she would

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Speaker 1: be moving, you know, to another state, leaving all her church,

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Speaker 1: her friends, everything she has built here, her homeschool, co

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Speaker 1: op and school and all of that stuff. So I

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Speaker 1: thought that it might be weighing very heavily on her,

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Speaker 1: like it was the other kids. And so I was like, hey, honey,

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Speaker 1: how you doing. How's it going. She's like, oh, it's okay.

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Speaker 1: I got all my stuff back. I'm like, no, how

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Speaker 1: are you doing? How's everything going? And she looks at

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Speaker 1: you know, in terms of, you know, we're potentially moving

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Speaker 1: to another state here, your older brother and your older

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Speaker 1: sister kind of having a hard time with that. How

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Speaker 1: are you doing. She looks at me and she goes, oh,

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Speaker 1: I gave it to God, so we're good. Yeah, we're good.

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Speaker 1: All I like you, I know, like the next morning,

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Speaker 1: she is on a flight to Mexico and she's being

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Speaker 1: dropped off by someone that's not even her parents because

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Speaker 1: her parents are having to go interview for a job.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, child is something, man. She does not need

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Speaker 1: me the way that she used to need me. She's

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Speaker 1: becoming very, very self sufficient. So how about you, what's

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Speaker 1: a time when you realized, oh, wow, my kiddo doesn't

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Speaker 1: need me quite the same way that they used to.

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Speaker 2: I actually have two. So I have one that was

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Speaker 2: my It was our oldest who's now nineteen almost twenty,

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Speaker 2: and it was when he was in preschool. I ended

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Speaker 2: up working there as a preschool teacher. It was a

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Speaker 2: preschool daycare, and so I was kind of interviewing for

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Speaker 2: the job as well as him being evaluated for what

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Speaker 2: class he should be in. And he was my first

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Speaker 2: And I'll say I have tendencies of being a smother mother,

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Speaker 2: you know, and a helicopter parent, and really did with

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Speaker 2: the first one. So at that point he was like,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, two and a half, maybe three, and

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Speaker 2: the director was talking to me and encouraged me to

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Speaker 2: just let him go off and do things on his own,

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Speaker 2: you know, do things by himself, and he said something

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Speaker 2: like Mommy, I want some water, and so I said, oh,

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Speaker 2: hold on, and I go to get him to help him,

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Speaker 2: to lift him up, and she's like, oh, no, you

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Speaker 2: don't do that. That's what the little stepstool is for.

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, he can't get water himself from the

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Speaker 2: water fountain, and she said, yes, he can, and she's

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Speaker 2: laughing at me. He walks his way up to the

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Speaker 2: toddler water fountain and steps up, gets himself water, and

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Speaker 2: same thing with like he's joined the other class and

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Speaker 2: they're using a knife, a plastic knife and a fork

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Speaker 2: to cut their little pancake or whatever it was. And

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Speaker 2: I'm thinking to myself, he can't do that, or butter

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Speaker 2: their bread or whatever they were doing. And it was revolutionary,

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Speaker 2: like to have this person who was used to letting

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Speaker 2: kids do things on their own for the sake of

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Speaker 2: education to teach me the things that my kid that

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Speaker 2: I should have known he could do but didn't. And

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Speaker 2: I just thought that was really it was eye opening

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Speaker 2: that I have to play a part. My job isn't

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Speaker 2: just to do things for my kid, to teach them

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Speaker 2: to do things for themselves. And I think that was

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Speaker 2: the first time in my parenting journey that I realized that.

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Speaker 2: And then, you know, I think you bring up a

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Speaker 2: great point too. Though every kid isn't the same, there

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Speaker 2: are some kids, and among our three kids, we have

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Speaker 2: different kids that either learn to do things on their

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Speaker 2: own sooner or don't want to do things on their

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Speaker 2: own as quickly as others.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes you got to give him a little push.

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Speaker 2: You gotta push them out of the nest. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: so I had a recent thing with our middle one,

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Speaker 2: who tends to be more of a I want to

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Speaker 2: do it on my own, but not necessarily always taking

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Speaker 2: responsibility with like schoolwork and stuff like that. But we

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Speaker 2: had a thing with one of the hockey coaches. There

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Speaker 2: was a scheduling conflict between two of his teams, and

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Speaker 2: so my husband had contacted the coach was talking to

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Speaker 2: him about like, Okay, we'll let you know this certain

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Speaker 2: information about the conflict. And our son had already taken

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Speaker 2: the initiative with both coaches to talk about the conflict,

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Speaker 2: to be in touch with one about oh, i'll let

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Speaker 2: you know my schedule, and like he had taken initiative

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Speaker 2: because he's passionate about this thing. Yeah, about this hockey team.

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Speaker 2: So it was just really neat for me to see

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Speaker 2: him taking the role of responsibility. And also some of

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Speaker 2: his responsibility taking didn't come until our oldest left the nest. Oh,

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Speaker 2: and he is now the oldest in the house, and

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Speaker 2: so it's almost like he has kind of the expectation

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Speaker 2: for himself that he will be more responsible. And I

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Speaker 2: don't know less of the comparison, maybe because our oldest

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Speaker 2: was very much responsible, do the work, keep the schedule,

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Speaker 2: notify people, so our middle one I feel like now

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Speaker 2: that the older one has left the house, for the

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Speaker 2: most part, I think he has started to resonate with

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Speaker 2: the identity of being responsible.

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Speaker 1: Does that make sense, Yeah, absolutely, It's a passing of

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Speaker 1: the torch. I've thought about when this move does happen,

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Speaker 1: likely my third child will become my oldest child in

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Speaker 1: the home, and she's already taking a lot of that role.

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Speaker 1: She's just become matured so much. The fifteen year old

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Speaker 1: that I was just mentioning who you know, had to

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Speaker 1: be dropped off for her trip to Mexico by you know,

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Speaker 1: someone from our church instead of us because we were

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Speaker 1: in Nashville interviewing for a new job. I'm sure, it's

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Speaker 1: going to be a tough transition for her, but she

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Speaker 1: just I just seen so much maturity, particularly in that area,

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Speaker 1: and she's very very helpful in terms of mothering the

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Speaker 1: younger kids, helping me with that, especially now that my

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Speaker 1: husband is working up in that city. But yeah, these

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Speaker 1: phases where I think that's fascinating. Your youngest are your oldest.

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Speaker 1: You don't realize sometimes the things that they can do

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Speaker 1: on their own until somebody kind of points you in

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Speaker 1: that direction and says, oh, no, he can climb up

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Speaker 1: these steps, he can do these things. And I'm all

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Speaker 1: for trying to empower kids to be able to do

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Speaker 1: those things that they're developmentally at that age. And it

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Speaker 1: does happened differently from kid to kid. But recognizing what

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Speaker 1: those phases are, I think is really important, and what

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Speaker 1: my role in as a mother and my husband's role

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Speaker 1: as a father is in their lives, and each of

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Speaker 1: these phases of parenting I think is critically critically important.

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Speaker 1: We were talking previously about how the steps or the

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Speaker 1: phases of parenting. I had mentioned to you that we

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Speaker 1: have like four distinct stages that I've tried to look

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Speaker 1: at my kids and their upbringing and I've talked about

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Speaker 1: it on the show a little bit that I think

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Speaker 1: as parents, as we're talking about letting go, which again

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Speaker 1: happens at the umbilical cord, what are these different phases

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Speaker 1: that we need to be mindful of how we parent.

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Speaker 1: And the first phase that we have is the caregiver phase.

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Speaker 1: That's when your child needs you to do pretty much

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Speaker 1: everything for them. We have to change their diapers, we

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Speaker 1: have to feed them, we have to make sure they're

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Speaker 1: well rested, that they have something to drink. Everything we're

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Speaker 1: teaching them, We're training them along the way how to talk,

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Speaker 1: what certain words are, where the caregiver and everything that

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Speaker 1: they need comes from us fully and totally. Then you

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Speaker 1: end up in a phase that lasts through obviously infancy

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Speaker 1: into toddlerhood. And there's a lot of overlap with these phases.

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Speaker 1: But there's the cop phase. We used to put on

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Speaker 1: the cop badge and don't run into the street, don't

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Speaker 1: touch the stove, don't play with the knife, and a

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Speaker 1: lot of times they're not cognitively, intellectually capable of understanding

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Speaker 1: all the reasons behind why we have these certain rules

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Speaker 1: in the home, but we're having to protect them from themselves.

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Speaker 1: I remember one time in this COP phase where I

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Speaker 1: realized our kids are constantly encountering danger. We lived in

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Speaker 1: a house and I was emptying a dishwasher and my daughter,

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Speaker 1: she was a toddler at this point, so I'm starting

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Speaker 1: to get into the cop phase here with her. She

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Speaker 1: would come around a corner and I couldn't see because

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Speaker 1: I would have my back turned to the dish shwasher

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Speaker 1: and I was putting knives away, and I would turn

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Speaker 1: around and there would be my daughter. She'd come around

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Speaker 1: the corner. She grabbed a fork, or she grabbed a knife,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, you know, here's this little two and

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Speaker 1: a half year old, and I'm freaking out, you know,

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Speaker 1: because she's sitting there with a knife, and I didn't

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Speaker 1: know she'd come around the corner. And one day it

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Speaker 1: was really bad because I turned around, I was putting

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Speaker 1: something away, and I heard a blood curdling scream behind me,

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Speaker 1: and I turned around to see my daughter holding some

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Speaker 1: dishwasher detergent that had not dissolved in the cycle. And

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Speaker 1: where had she put that? Where every toddler puts everything

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Speaker 1: in her mouth, and of course that could literally all

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Speaker 1: the way down her esophagus into her. Her stomach can burn,

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Speaker 1: it's toxic, and I realized, wow, I've got to have

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Speaker 1: some stringent consequences here. I was really debating on how

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Speaker 1: to discipline this child, because you know, I told her no, no,

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Speaker 1: How strong can the no? Well? Not strong enough? Because

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Speaker 1: she kept doing it, and this time it was very dangerous.

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Speaker 1: It could have really permanently altered for vocal courts. Thankfully

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Speaker 1: it didn't. Thankfully we didn't have to get her stomach pumped.

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Speaker 1: But so that's that cop phase. Then they graduate to

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Speaker 1: what we call the coach phase as they get older.

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Speaker 1: Now I'm not only telling them what to do all

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Speaker 1: the time to keep them safe. I'm explaining why I

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Speaker 1: want them to understand why we don't run into the

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Speaker 1: street to get the ball, why we don't touch the

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Speaker 1: hot stove, why we don't put deep rusher detergent in

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Speaker 1: our mouth. And of course it graduates to more spiritual things,

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Speaker 1: why the Bible is true, why we lean on God's

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Speaker 1: standard for living instead of man's standard. This becomes more

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Speaker 1: of a conversation and I'm kind of trying to coach

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Speaker 1: them into choosing the right path for their life. And

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Speaker 1: the final stage it's starting to happen at the end

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Speaker 1: of your child's high school phase. It's the phase. They're

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Speaker 1: not fully into that phase completely until they leave the house.

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Speaker 1: But the counselor phase is someone who offers advice when asked.

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Speaker 1: My counselor doesn't come to my house and start giving

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Speaker 1: me unsolicited advice. That doesn't go over well. And this

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Speaker 1: is where so many problems can arise in your parent

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Speaker 1: child relationship when you're trying to act like the cop

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Speaker 1: with a twenty year old, or you're trying to act

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Speaker 1: like the coach with a twenty year old. If I'm

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Speaker 1: constantly giving my twenty year old unsolicited advice, that is

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Speaker 1: going to impair my relationship with my child. So understanding

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Speaker 1: what phase of parenting you're in and you have to

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Speaker 1: fully let that child go, and you have to let

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Speaker 1: the child go to the degree that they can make

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Speaker 1: some bad choices, but that's part of training your child

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Speaker 1: in the way that they should go. And it says

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Speaker 1: when they're old, doesn't say they might not have some

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Speaker 1: really scary years in the middle of it, but when

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Speaker 1: they're old, they will not depart. So what are your

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Speaker 1: thoughts on those phases of parenting. Have you ever heard

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Speaker 1: those phases described that way before.

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Speaker 2: Jamie, No, I have not, and I love them. I

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Speaker 2: feel like those are really good descriptors. And it's multi

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Speaker 2: layered because, like you said, you can look at it

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Speaker 2: as just practical things, just raising a you know, functional,

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Speaker 2: contributing member of society. But then there's the other layer

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Speaker 2: of spirituality. And it's also you know, kind of similar

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Speaker 2: when you look at the Okay, there's a time when

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Speaker 2: you're basically just saying, nope, don't touch that, Nope, don't

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Speaker 2: lie because God said so, right, But then you kind

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Speaker 2: of get into this a little bit more of a

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Speaker 2: hands on approach to this is why. This is not

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Speaker 2: just what the Bible says, not just what the story

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Speaker 2: is in the story book Bible, but this is why.

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Speaker 2: And then again, I feel all three of my kids

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Speaker 2: have been very different in how soon they start asking

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Speaker 2: the why and how deep their questions go. I have

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Speaker 2: one who is a little bit more of a like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: this is kind of what it says, and that's good.

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Speaker 2: But a couple of others that were very early on

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Speaker 2: asking why and asking questions that I myself didn't ask

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Speaker 2: until college. So that was challenging. Yeah, so, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: guess your spiritual level of those different roles might be

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Speaker 2: on a different track from like the practical level of

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Speaker 2: those things. But what I really agree with you on,

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Speaker 2: especially is if you overstep, because I'm thinking of my

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Speaker 2: almost twenty year old. Now he does ask for advice,

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Speaker 2: but I've noticed there've been a couple of times when

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Speaker 2: either my husband or I have offered unsolicited opinions or

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Speaker 2: advice and he's kind of pushed back a little bit,

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Speaker 2: and you could tell, or maybe you just notice he

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Speaker 2: didn't text as much the next day because maybe he's

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Speaker 2: not wanting to hear what we have to offer. And

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Speaker 2: I get that, and so that's really important, and I

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Speaker 2: didn't put together that that was why now I'm realizing, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know what, he's over eighteen, he's living on his

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Speaker 2: own most of the year. If I want him to

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Speaker 2: keep coming back, like if you want them to keep

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Speaker 2: coming to you, how do we put a guard against

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Speaker 2: offering too much unsolicited advice?

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Speaker 1: That's a great question, because sometimes that's the parent's job,

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Speaker 1: you know, when you really see danger coming, to just

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Speaker 1: keep your mouth silent. I don't know that we're necessarily

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Speaker 1: called to do that. I think that is when we

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Speaker 1: got to really lean into the Holy Spirit. I've had

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Speaker 1: conversations with other parents where they have a child in

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Speaker 1: a prodigal season of life, and they describe about how

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Speaker 1: one friend I can remember just like, well, I got

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Speaker 1: together with them lunch the other day and I just

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Speaker 1: had to tell them this and this and this and this,

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Speaker 1: and my darling, they already know that stuff. When they

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Speaker 1: get into the adult age and particularly later high school,

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Speaker 1: the preaching sermons time is kind of over, you know.

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Speaker 1: And it's not that you won't have an occasional time

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Speaker 1: when God may use you, but chances are more likely

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Speaker 1: than not, the person that's going to have the most

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Speaker 1: influence over their lives is not going to beat the

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Speaker 1: parent preaching a sermon anymore. And they already know. If

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Speaker 1: they've been raised in a godly home where you've been

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Speaker 1: training them all along the way, they already know right

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Speaker 1: and wrong. They already know truth and lies. They may

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Speaker 1: not believe them. They may be in a prodigal season.

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Speaker 1: We've had a you know, a prodigal season in our

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Speaker 1: home with our oldest and she's given me freedom, by

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Speaker 1: the way to speak about that. I don't want to,

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Speaker 1: you know, just speak out of turn there and that

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Speaker 1: I never want to do anything damage that relationship with

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Speaker 1: my child, any of my kids. But the important part

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Speaker 1: is to understand that when they get into this counseling phase,

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Speaker 1: there may be rare exceptions where the Holy Spirit may

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Speaker 1: use you to speak a word of truth into that

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Speaker 1: situation unsolicited. But I think our mo at that time,

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Speaker 1: in that phase of life needs to be Okay. Holy

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Speaker 1: Spirit helped me to be a because he doesn't combarging

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Speaker 1: in our lives, right, you know what he does. He

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Speaker 1: has circumstances. Hard circumstances will come into our lives that

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Speaker 1: cause us to turn to him. And that's what will

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Speaker 1: happen in our kids' lives. And hopefully one of the

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Speaker 1: people they may turn to in life or some advice

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Speaker 1: will be us if we have a strong relationship with them.

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Speaker 1: But that is just a phase where we need to

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Speaker 1: take great care and just say, Holy Spirit, guard my tongue.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of things I could say, but I

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Speaker 1: want to say things that are constructive in this situation

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Speaker 1: and sometimes are very well meaning and truthful. Words can

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Speaker 1: have the opposite effect and a child's life. It can

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Speaker 1: push them away, and has this happened to you, Jamie

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Speaker 1: my parents? I love my parents, they're godly parents, but

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Speaker 1: there have been times when I've felt like, just for

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Speaker 1: that advice right now, and it kind of put a

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Speaker 1: wedge in between me and my own Has that ever

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Speaker 1: happened to you?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there have definitely, definitely been times when we've had

432
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:25,040
Speaker 2: I would say, on my side and my husband's side,

433
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:28,359
Speaker 2: both sets of parents tend to be very considerate in

434
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 2: that regard. What I'll say is I can sometimes tell

435
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 2: that there is an undercurrent of disapproval. Does that make sense?

436
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:38,959
Speaker 1: Like?

437
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:42,760
Speaker 2: I don't think either side would just be outright like, oh,

438
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,919
Speaker 2: don't do that, that's stupid, But I could sense an

439
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:50,760
Speaker 2: undercurrent of disapproval. And yeah, so it's not usually like

440
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:52,720
Speaker 2: don't give me that advice. I didn't ask for it,

441
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,919
Speaker 2: but it's okay. I can tell that I've mentioned this

442
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 2: thing and that it's not popular. So yeah, I know,

443
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,680
Speaker 2: And I've told my in law, I said, you know what,

444
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:05,400
Speaker 2: it has to be so tough being a grandparent because

445
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 2: then you love your grandkids just as much as you

446
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,919
Speaker 2: love your own kids, only you don't have a say,

447
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,680
Speaker 2: and the decisions that are made really like that has

448
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,399
Speaker 2: to be so hard. But what I do know is

449
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:22,359
Speaker 2: I have learned not to discount that disapproval. I sense

450
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,119
Speaker 2: that just because I really respect my dad and my

451
00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 2: stepmom and my in laws, even if I don't agree,

452
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:31,719
Speaker 2: I've learned to at least pause and think about it

453
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 2: if I sense that disapproval coming through, just because I think, Okay,

454
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,359
Speaker 2: I know they're wise. I know they love me more

455
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:41,879
Speaker 2: than I know and love our family, so at least

456
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 2: take a pause and kind of consider where could they

457
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:45,399
Speaker 2: be coming from.

458
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 1: So that's wise, that's wise. That is such wisdom there,

459
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:52,200
Speaker 1: and I think sometimes it brushes up against our own pride.

460
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:55,399
Speaker 1: But see, we're parents, but we're still children, many of us.

461
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,640
Speaker 1: You know, our parents are still We're blessed to still

462
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,680
Speaker 1: have them in our lives and have, you know, really

463
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:02,919
Speaker 1: good relationships. And I have really great relationships with my

464
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 1: parents and my in laws as well, and they've been

465
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:07,960
Speaker 1: such a blessing in our lives. But we need to

466
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 1: kind of recognize that. Okay, if it can build a

467
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:15,880
Speaker 1: wedge or potentially a wedge in my relations my upline,

468
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:17,919
Speaker 1: then it can build a wedge in my downline and

469
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 1: particularly more so than ever, when a child is just

470
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:25,400
Speaker 1: now spreading their wings, you know, and getting out to college,

471
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:28,439
Speaker 1: moving out on their own, those are moments where we

472
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:30,640
Speaker 1: need to take a lot of care and really lean

473
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: into the Holy Spirit. I love this question you sent

474
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 1: to me when we were talking about this topic. How

475
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:38,879
Speaker 1: did Jesus model a healthy letting go process through his

476
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:43,880
Speaker 1: interactions with his disciples? I had never thought about that before,

477
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 1: and I really enjoyed considering that. What are your thoughts

478
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:48,360
Speaker 1: on that?

479
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:52,280
Speaker 2: So I love this. I actually did the whole kind

480
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 2: of researching of this through the different interactions, and I'll

481
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:59,479
Speaker 2: give you just a nutshell. I feel like from the

482
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,800
Speaker 2: time he gathered his disciples, I think there are some

483
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:06,879
Speaker 2: pinpoint places where he really demonstrates this. I mean, I

484
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,919
Speaker 2: think the first one was when he was in the boat.

485
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 2: The first one that I kind of focused in on

486
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:16,199
Speaker 2: was in Matthew eight, where I'm wondering did he go

487
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 2: to sleep on purpose just so they would experience this

488
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,199
Speaker 2: is where I think Jesus and the disciples are in

489
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 2: the boat, the huge storm comes up. They're a wind

490
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 2: and waves, and they're terrified. The Bible says they were terrified,

491
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:32,359
Speaker 2: and Jesus was sleeping. And this actually reminds me of

492
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:35,199
Speaker 2: when I was in driver's ed and I was in

493
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 2: the driver's seat and I had my instructor that had

494
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:41,879
Speaker 2: the like emergency controls that he could take over, and

495
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:45,560
Speaker 2: I still remember his name was mister Johnson, and I

496
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 2: don't always trust my memories, but I could have sworn

497
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:52,520
Speaker 2: that he was sitting in that seat when I went

498
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,800
Speaker 2: on the highway for the first time, and again I

499
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 2: was terrified. I could have sworn he had a newspaper

500
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 2: open in front of his face. That is the picture

501
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 2: I have. I'm telling you he was sitting there reading

502
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:10,200
Speaker 2: a newspaper and not even looking. But when I look

503
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 2: back on that, it makes me think that he was

504
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:17,359
Speaker 2: wanting me to kind of He probably had his eyes

505
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:20,720
Speaker 2: on the road, like with his peripheral vision and overtop.

506
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 2: Maybe I don't know, but I feel like he might

507
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:25,159
Speaker 2: have wanted to give me the impression that he wasn't looking,

508
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:29,680
Speaker 2: so that I could own that experience and not feel

509
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 2: like he was hovering over me. But he always had

510
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 2: the brakes, he always had the wheel whatever, you know,

511
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:39,280
Speaker 2: the emergency controls in hand. So I think Jesus might

512
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 2: have done that that's what I was pictures. Maybe Jesus

513
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 2: he went to sleep on purpose, or he was appearing

514
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,639
Speaker 2: to be asleep, but he knew what was going to happen.

515
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,359
Speaker 2: He had control over the wind in the waves. So

516
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,080
Speaker 2: I don't know, I just feel like, you know, they

517
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 2: were saying, Lord, save us. You know we're going to drown.

518
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:00,240
Speaker 2: And he rebuked him. He said, you have little faith,

519
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:01,919
Speaker 2: Why are you so afraid? And he got up and

520
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:04,159
Speaker 2: he rebukes the wind and the waves, and it was

521
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:08,120
Speaker 2: completely calm. And you know, Jesus didn't prevent the storm.

522
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:11,359
Speaker 2: He didn't even stop the storm at first. He allowed

523
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:15,359
Speaker 2: them to experience it fully, and he was honest about

524
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:17,719
Speaker 2: where they needed growth. So that's where I see Jesus

525
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:21,960
Speaker 2: modeling Like as parents, I think it's our job not

526
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 2: to pretend or be dishonest. You know, Jesus couldn't have

527
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 2: been dishonest, right, he was sinless. But to allow our

528
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 2: kids to experience hardship without heading it off at the pass, right,

529
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 2: without them realizing that we're there one hundred percent and

530
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:41,160
Speaker 2: you know, able to put the brakes on when we

531
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 2: need to, but to allow them to sweat a little

532
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 2: and maybe even reap the natural consequences of their actions, unless,

533
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 2: of course, it's eating dish detergent, which we're not going

534
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 2: to do. But so that they can experience, they can

535
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 2: have the full experience while they're under our roof, while

536
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 2: they're in our care, of messing up, maybe and maybe

537
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:05,760
Speaker 2: not having as much faith or maybe not having as

538
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 2: much wisdom as they should, but to mess up in

539
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 2: a way that they can learn from. And in that situation,

540
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 2: Jesus displayed what he was capable of and his power,

541
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,960
Speaker 2: and you know, maybe even so that they can remember

542
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 2: that their kids and they can remember that they don't

543
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 2: have it all together, because otherwise, if we just head

544
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:31,040
Speaker 2: off all of their bad decisions at the past, they're

545
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:34,000
Speaker 2: never going to learn. Oh wait, there are people that

546
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 2: are wiser than me. There are people that maybe know

547
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 2: a little bit more than me, and maybe I should

548
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 2: pay attention to them too and rely on them a

549
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 2: little bit more. I don't know, that's just kind of

550
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 2: my takeaway. What are your thoughts on that story?

551
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, I think definitely. I do think it was

552
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 1: purposeful that he allowed that chrisis to happen to see

553
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 1: where their faith really was and did they really believe

554
00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:00,640
Speaker 1: he was who he said he was. And when I

555
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 1: was contemplating this question, I was thinking along in the

556
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 1: beginning of Jesus's ministry, you see all the miracles coming,

557
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:09,400
Speaker 1: you know that he does, and they're walking alongside and

558
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 1: they're hearing all the teaching. But towards the end of

559
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:15,240
Speaker 1: this ministry, what do we see. Okay, well, he's sending

560
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 1: them out and he's not going with them. Right, even

561
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:20,720
Speaker 1: when he was still alive here on earth, he sent

562
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 1: them out on missionary journeys two by two, and you

563
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 1: gave them certain instructions, and they come back and they're amazed.

564
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,920
Speaker 1: Right Lord, look what happened. The same stuff that was

565
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 1: happening with you, it's happening with us. And ultimately, as parents,

566
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:37,520
Speaker 1: let me just state this. Right before he goes back

567
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 1: to be with the Father, he tells them, greater works

568
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 1: than I've done, you will do. I love that kind

569
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 1: of philosophy in parenting that hopefully with our lives. We

570
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 1: look at our children, and just like Jesus, they're watching

571
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 1: us in the beginning, they're coming alongside us. They see

572
00:30:56,720 --> 00:31:00,040
Speaker 1: us in ministry. They see us hopefully being generous. I

573
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 1: see us giving our time and our resources to those

574
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,760
Speaker 1: who are in need. They listen to the lessons that

575
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 1: we're teaching them, and they see us our commitment to

576
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 1: the Lord, they see us worship, they see us pray,

577
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:18,640
Speaker 1: and then hopefully we're interacting with them and teaching them

578
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 1: how to do each of these things, putting them in

579
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:24,480
Speaker 1: good soil and good environments where they're going to be

580
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 1: around other people who are doing these things well in

581
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 1: a godly and a biblical way. But then ultimately we

582
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 1: all want to get to this place where we're sending

583
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 1: our kids out. I've had the privilege of doing that

584
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 1: with a couple of my teenagers this last summer, sending

585
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 1: them out too. But I tell you could say I

586
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 1: sent two of them on a missions trip to Asia,

587
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,520
Speaker 1: and then I got to sit back, and they came

588
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 1: back and listen to what the Lord is doing in

589
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 1: their lives. And hopefully we can all say as parents

590
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 1: that greater works than I did, greater works than what

591
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 1: happened in my life. That each of these little our

592
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:04,800
Speaker 1: children are described as arrows in scripture. They're arrows that

593
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 1: we send out to do the work of the Lord,

594
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 1: and our job is to prepare them as best we can.

595
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 1: And so when I look at Jesus. He certainly models

596
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:17,880
Speaker 1: this really beautifully in the gospels, and we see, Oh,

597
00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:20,360
Speaker 1: I love that they include all the missteps, right. You know,

598
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,360
Speaker 1: there's Peter. You know, no, I'm not going to wash

599
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:24,880
Speaker 1: your feet, and he's like, well, if you don't wash,

600
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,959
Speaker 1: you don't let me wash your feet. You can have

601
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 1: none of me. And what Jesus is teaching his disciples

602
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 1: in this moment is that the world works one way

603
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 1: when you're a leader. That's not how my kingdom works.

604
00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 1: My kingdom works by getting down on your hands and

605
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 1: knees and washing the feet of those who are under you,

606
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 1: washing the feet of those that you serve. And it's

607
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 1: a very different model, and the disciples had a hard time.

608
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:51,840
Speaker 1: They brushed up against it a lot. James and John

609
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 1: wanted to use their authority in order to gain recognition

610
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:59,320
Speaker 1: and in the world or in his kingdom, and It's like, no,

611
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,800
Speaker 1: my kingdom doesn't work that way. And so he was

612
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:05,360
Speaker 1: constantly teaching them. And as parents, we need to teach

613
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 1: our kids the way God's kingdom works and the way

614
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:11,440
Speaker 1: His kingdom works. And the best way we do that

615
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 1: is by being servant leaders ourself in our homes. Washing

616
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 1: the feet of our children, and hopefully establishing an example

617
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 1: of the faith. I can't force my faith on my kids.

618
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 1: All I can do is exemplify a faith that is

619
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 1: hopefully real enough and powerful enough that it's contagious. And

620
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 1: then it's our prayer that greater works than these well

621
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 1: my kids do in life. That's my prayer. So I

622
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 1: love that question. I think there's a really great example

623
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 1: in the Gospels of Jesus showing how we parent and

624
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,800
Speaker 1: what our hope and our expectation for our kids should be.

625
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 2: I love what you said about the example because I

626
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 2: think so many times we just want to tell them,

627
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,040
Speaker 2: tell them, tell them, and some people will say, like

628
00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 2: more is caught than taught, And that's that's discouraging for

629
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 2: me sometimes because I'm thinking I'm not a perfect Christian.

630
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 2: But I think so much part of that authentic faith

631
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 2: that you're talking about is not allowing our failures in

632
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:15,560
Speaker 2: our faith or our failures to act in a godly

633
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,120
Speaker 2: way towards our kids. You know all of us are

634
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:20,840
Speaker 2: going to fail in that regard all the time, but

635
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:25,400
Speaker 2: to use those as teachable moments to say I'm so sorry,

636
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 2: I mean, I can't tell you how many times in

637
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 2: a day I tell my kids, I'm sorry, I shouldn't

638
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 2: have X, Y or Z. This is what I should

639
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:33,920
Speaker 2: have done. I'm going to do better.

640
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:36,840
Speaker 1: You know, I probably need to do that. After the podcast,

641
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 1: we had a rough homeschooling morning with that and some

642
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 1: other stuff.

643
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:44,759
Speaker 2: But it's real, and the enemy is going to take

644
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:48,399
Speaker 2: that and say point fingers and say you say you're

645
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:50,719
Speaker 2: a believer and you don't even act this way with

646
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,360
Speaker 2: your kids. That's I mean, every day for me, literally,

647
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:56,719
Speaker 2: I hear that accusation in my head. But the important thing.

648
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:59,520
Speaker 2: Sometimes I succumb to that, and I will wallow and

649
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 2: I will lament the fact that I'm an awful Christian

650
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 2: and a worm. But what we need to do, and

651
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:08,400
Speaker 2: what I do on my best days is I go

652
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 2: to my kids or my husband or whoever it is,

653
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 2: and I'll just say I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I should

654
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:16,840
Speaker 2: not have done that, and even to explain, like, you

655
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,279
Speaker 2: know what, I'm working on this. And the more I

656
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 2: pray about it, the quicker I catch myself doing it,

657
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,360
Speaker 2: and they'll start to see that, they'll start to see, Okay,

658
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:29,920
Speaker 2: maybe she lost her temper here, but maybe she's catching

659
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:33,279
Speaker 2: it more quickly and you know, next time, yeah, the

660
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:35,319
Speaker 2: next time. I don't know. I just feel like we're

661
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,040
Speaker 2: all a work in progress. And when we can be

662
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:40,200
Speaker 2: honest with our kids about our own struggles, it makes

663
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:44,400
Speaker 2: them not want to hide their sin and their failures,

664
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 2: and it makes them realize, oh, this is part of

665
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 2: the process, this is why Jesus died, and so I

666
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:52,839
Speaker 2: think that can be just a powerful thing to help

667
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:53,440
Speaker 2: them grow.

668
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, that reminds me of an episode I did a

669
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:58,879
Speaker 1: while back. I think it was something like the eight

670
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,800
Speaker 1: most important word every parent needs to say to their child.

671
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:07,879
Speaker 1: They are I'm sorry I was wrong. Please forgive me.

672
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 1: And it's not enough just to say I'm sorry, because

673
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,040
Speaker 1: you can say i'm sorry you feel that way, I'm

674
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:18,360
Speaker 1: sorry you were upset. No, I'm sorry I was wrong,

675
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,680
Speaker 1: Please forgive me. And sometimes we can be right in

676
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:23,680
Speaker 1: what we said and not in the way that we

677
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:26,120
Speaker 1: said it. Or we can be right in our motive,

678
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 1: you know, especially if we have a child who's going

679
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 1: through a difficult season, a prodigal seedent, and we can

680
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:33,279
Speaker 1: be right in our motive but wrong in the way

681
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:35,239
Speaker 1: that we handled it. Maybe it was wrong because I

682
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 1: preach discermon at you, and you're a twenty year old kid.

683
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 1: You didn't ask for that, and inadvertently here I am.

684
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:45,160
Speaker 1: Here's what we need to understand. A large part of

685
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:49,359
Speaker 1: the letting go process is recognizing I'm not the Holy

686
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:53,800
Speaker 1: Spirit and I can't convict my child. That's not my job.

687
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:56,680
Speaker 1: I may have a moment where something I say can

688
00:36:57,080 --> 00:37:00,279
Speaker 1: be utilized by the Holy Spirit to bring conviction, but

689
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:04,280
Speaker 1: that's not my job, and operating in that right phase

690
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 1: of parenting is just so critical. I love this question.

691
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:08,880
Speaker 1: I would love to hear your thoughts. A lot of

692
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 1: moms might say that letting go feels like we're losing control.

693
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:15,279
Speaker 1: And when I say control, there obviously we don't want

694
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 1: to be controlling our children, But what I mean controlling

695
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:22,520
Speaker 1: the circumstances, controlling the situations and the find like a

696
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 1: child could make some horrific financial decision, or move in

697
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 1: with really bad roommate situation, or there's so many things.

698
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:33,360
Speaker 1: You know, we're losing control when the reality is we

699
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:36,400
Speaker 1: didn't have control in the first place. But you know,

700
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 1: the focus of your show is prayer, and I think

701
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:43,719
Speaker 1: through prayer it reframes how we're really giving control back.

702
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 1: To God, aren't we. How has prayer helped you personally

703
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 1: in the seasons of letting go with your children, helping

704
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,400
Speaker 1: them to grow into the next phase of your parenting

705
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:57,959
Speaker 1: and ultimately fly the coup and be on their own.

706
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:03,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, there have been two distinct moments of letting go

707
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:07,520
Speaker 2: that I really really clung to prayer. And the first

708
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:11,680
Speaker 2: one was our decision not to homeschool the following year

709
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 2: for our oldest and I really didn't want to not homeschool.

710
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 2: I wanted to keep him at home, and so I

711
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:20,839
Speaker 2: just prayed about it, and my husband and I were

712
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:24,560
Speaker 2: praying independently and just said, Lord, help each of us

713
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 2: come to you know. We were both kind of on

714
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 2: the fence because I felt like, kind of maybe I

715
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 2: was supposed to but I didn't really want to. And

716
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:33,600
Speaker 2: he was kind of the opposite. He really did want

717
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 2: him to go back to public school, but kind of

718
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:39,319
Speaker 2: felt like maybe he was supposed to stay home. So

719
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,880
Speaker 2: we kind of were on different sides, and so we

720
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:45,439
Speaker 2: prayed and we came back together and we had both

721
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 2: flip flopped, so we were not in agreement, and so

722
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 2: we were just both really really trying to work this out.

723
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:56,200
Speaker 2: So Anyway, Finally we did end up coming to the

724
00:38:56,239 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 2: same conclusion, which was for our son to go to

725
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:01,240
Speaker 2: public school.

726
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:03,400
Speaker 1: As a parent, when you're homeschooling, you do feel like

727
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 1: you have a lot more control, particularly in the education.

728
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,200
Speaker 1: So I can see how that would be so hard.

729
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, to come to that conclusion. I know, because

730
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 1: God has called us to homeschool as well. You let

731
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,640
Speaker 1: go of some other stuff when you choose to homeschool,

732
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:21,000
Speaker 1: like free time and oh yeah, and all sorts of stuff.

733
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:23,800
Speaker 1: But I can understand when you've been in that phase,

734
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 1: So that would be a real act of faith of

735
00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:28,880
Speaker 1: having to let go to put your child in an

736
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 1: environment where you're not really in control of the curriculum

737
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:34,000
Speaker 1: and the conversations and the peer group anymore.

738
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 2: The verse that really brought this home for me, that

739
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 2: the Lord used when I was praying for scripture was

740
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 2: drum roll please, John seventeen six through nineteen. This is

741
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 2: from the NIV. Jesus prays for his disciples, and God

742
00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:06,479
Speaker 2: kind of just really neon signed me here where Jesus says,

743
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 2: I have revealed you to those whom you gave me

744
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,440
Speaker 2: out of the world. They were yours. You gave them

745
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 2: to me, and they have obeyed your word. Now they

746
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 2: know everything you've given me comes from you, for I

747
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:19,359
Speaker 2: gave them the words you gave me, and they accepted them.

748
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:21,920
Speaker 2: They knew with certainty that I came from you, and

749
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:24,439
Speaker 2: they believe that you sent me. I pray for them.

750
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:27,399
Speaker 2: I am not praying for the world, but for those

751
00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:30,279
Speaker 2: you have given me, for they are yours. All I

752
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:32,759
Speaker 2: have is yours, and all you have is mind. And

753
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,720
Speaker 2: glory has come to me through them. I will remain

754
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:37,759
Speaker 2: in the world no longer, but they are still in

755
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:40,880
Speaker 2: the world, and I am coming to you, Holy Father.

756
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 2: Protect them by the power of your name, the name

757
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:45,759
Speaker 2: you gave me, so that they may be one as

758
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:48,400
Speaker 2: we are one. While I was with them, I protected

759
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 2: them and kept them safe by that name you gave me.

760
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:53,680
Speaker 2: None has been lost, except the one doomed to destruction,

761
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:56,919
Speaker 2: so that scripture would be fulfilled. And then this part

762
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,480
Speaker 2: is really what hit me hard. I am coming to

763
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,359
Speaker 2: you now, but I say these things while I am

764
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:04,080
Speaker 2: still in the world, so that they may have the

765
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:07,240
Speaker 2: full measure of my joy within them. I have given

766
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 2: them your word, and the world has hated them, for

767
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 2: they are not of the world. Anymore that I am

768
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:15,439
Speaker 2: of the world. My prayer is not that you take

769
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:18,759
Speaker 2: them out of the world, but you protect them from

770
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 2: the evil one. They are not of the world, even

771
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 2: as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth.

772
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,760
Speaker 2: Your word is truth. As you sent me into the world,

773
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:29,719
Speaker 2: I have sent them into the world. For them, I

774
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:34,680
Speaker 2: sanctify myself, that they too may truly be sanctified. And

775
00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 2: the neon Segin part that's stuck out to me is

776
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,359
Speaker 2: not that you take them out of the world, which

777
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,280
Speaker 2: is what I sort of felt like I was doing

778
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,719
Speaker 2: through homeschooling. I was kind of keeping them in a

779
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 2: way separate, even though they were out in the world

780
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:49,240
Speaker 2: in all kinds of other ways, but that you protect

781
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:51,400
Speaker 2: them from the evil One. And God just gave me

782
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 2: this picture of my son in public school with this

783
00:41:56,239 --> 00:42:00,440
Speaker 2: bubble of protection surrounding him, so that he would in

784
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:04,400
Speaker 2: the world fully in public school, but protected from the

785
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 2: evil one. And that's how my prayers were shaped for him,

786
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 2: was protect him from the evil One, protect him from

787
00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 2: bad influences, let his light shine, and let none of

788
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 2: that evil, none of that bad that he would encounter

789
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:19,799
Speaker 2: as part of the world with a capitol w take

790
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 2: anything away from his faith, and that even his faith

791
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:26,080
Speaker 2: would be strengthened through that. So that's how God shaped

792
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 2: my prayers through that. And then this same child has

793
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 2: gone out now to college, and I tell you, you know,

794
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:37,160
Speaker 2: the prayers have never been more fervent because I literally

795
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:40,600
Speaker 2: have no control. He's not under my roof ever, and

796
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:43,760
Speaker 2: there are really dark nights of prayer where I'm worried

797
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:46,719
Speaker 2: about him. Last night was one of them, and he

798
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:51,200
Speaker 2: got some really bad news at school. It wasn't personal,

799
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:55,400
Speaker 2: but it devastated him. And I wasn't there. We weren't

800
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:57,719
Speaker 2: there with him. We couldn't even get a phone call

801
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:00,840
Speaker 2: from him for a while. So my prayer have become

802
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:03,440
Speaker 2: I have had to come to terms with do I

803
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:07,520
Speaker 2: really believe prayer works? Because if I do, I believe

804
00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:10,239
Speaker 2: that it doesn't matter how far he's separate from me.

805
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:13,200
Speaker 2: God is at work. The Holy Spirit can do anything

806
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:16,600
Speaker 2: no matter how far away we're separated. If I don't

807
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:19,360
Speaker 2: believe that prayer works, then I'm going to believe that

808
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:23,080
Speaker 2: I've lost something because I can't touch him in any way.

809
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:26,319
Speaker 2: So it's been a big test of faith in a

810
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:28,600
Speaker 2: good way, in the best possible way because I've seen

811
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:32,160
Speaker 2: God work. I've also seen God working in what I

812
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 2: consider one of the prayers that we were praying for

813
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 2: him didn't come to pass. I felt like it was

814
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 2: completely God's will, and I think I can share just

815
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,840
Speaker 2: that this had to do with there was a team

816
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:47,359
Speaker 2: that he had been part of that he had tryouts for.

817
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:51,760
Speaker 2: His entire identity and friend group had been this team,

818
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:55,720
Speaker 2: and his faith had been influenced by members of this team.

819
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,440
Speaker 2: So of course I believe God would allow him to

820
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:01,360
Speaker 2: make this team again this year, right and he didn't,

821
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:04,680
Speaker 2: and it was devastating for him. So anyway, I also

822
00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:06,960
Speaker 2: have to come to terms with God knowing better than

823
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 2: I do what is best for him and trusting that.

824
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:13,600
Speaker 2: So it's tough, but it's been really faith growing.

825
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 1: I have never thought of that passage in terms of

826
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 1: parenting before, and now I don't know that I'll be

827
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 1: able to think about it in any other way. It's perfect.

828
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:24,799
Speaker 1: I'm still glad to you read the whole thing. I

829
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 1: was still blessed by that, Jamie, Thank you well because seriously,

830
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 1: because it's the perfect passage for us as parents, because

831
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:35,359
Speaker 1: Jesus had walked alongside the disciples day in and day

832
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:38,080
Speaker 1: out for three and a half years, and they had

833
00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:40,440
Speaker 1: to go through something pretty brutal. They had to watch

834
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 1: the person they loved, their mentor their savior. They watched

835
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:48,640
Speaker 1: it up close and personal. And so this beautiful prayer

836
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:51,799
Speaker 1: that He has for these disciples, you can feel the

837
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:55,880
Speaker 1: love overflowing and yet the faith that with the Holy Spirit,

838
00:44:56,200 --> 00:45:00,399
Speaker 1: we're not leaving them without a guide, even and if

839
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:03,920
Speaker 1: they're not listening, even if they're stuffing their ear and

840
00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:07,040
Speaker 1: in a spiritual sense and not listening to the Holy Spirit.

841
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:11,759
Speaker 1: That is where you know, we as believers know that

842
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 1: our greatest influence, even from the moment, even from the

843
00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:20,880
Speaker 1: umbilical cord, our greatest influence over the lives of our

844
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:24,680
Speaker 1: kids happens on our knees, because, let's face it, I

845
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:27,920
Speaker 1: know parents who've had to go through really huge hardships

846
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:32,719
Speaker 1: with young children. You can't control situations, you can't control

847
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 1: their health, you can't control a lot of the things

848
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:39,200
Speaker 1: that happen to even young children, much less older children.

849
00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 1: We have far less control than we would like and

850
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 1: sometimes than we think we have. But we really become

851
00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:47,319
Speaker 1: aware of how little control we have when they move

852
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:50,239
Speaker 1: out of the nest and we're no longer that primary

853
00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:55,399
Speaker 1: influence in their lives. But where do we have some influence?

854
00:45:55,840 --> 00:46:00,439
Speaker 1: Where do we have some Powersome authority still is in

855
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:04,160
Speaker 1: the secret place in those moments, and we're partnering with

856
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:09,160
Speaker 1: God when we pray over our children, and as we

857
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:12,720
Speaker 1: do that, we're helping to bring forth God's will here

858
00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:15,080
Speaker 1: on earth, in the lives of our children and in

859
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 1: our own lives. But we kind of dug into all

860
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 1: the issues surrounding prayer, a lot of them. And I

861
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:24,960
Speaker 1: want to encourage parents with one last thing. A concept

862
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 1: I learned years ago in prayer that it pertains to

863
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:32,800
Speaker 1: our parenting is that we all operate in certain spheres

864
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:35,840
Speaker 1: of authority in life. Some of our listeners may be

865
00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:40,120
Speaker 1: leaders in an industry or a profession, or in a business,

866
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:43,680
Speaker 1: or maybe even in government or in their churches. We

867
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:46,520
Speaker 1: all have certain spheres of authority. And as parents, we

868
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:49,799
Speaker 1: have a sphere of authority in our home, and we

869
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:54,480
Speaker 1: have an obligation under God to use that authority in

870
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:58,839
Speaker 1: a way that blesses and benefits those who God has

871
00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 1: entrusted us with. One principle I've learned that I use

872
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:06,360
Speaker 1: almost primarily in prayer is the concept that we have

873
00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:08,960
Speaker 1: authority o over what we have authored. If God has

874
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:12,239
Speaker 1: authored something through us, whether that's you and I. We

875
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:15,359
Speaker 1: have podcasts, right, we have authority over that. You may

876
00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:18,560
Speaker 1: have authority in your business, fear, or in a church setting,

877
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:22,080
Speaker 1: But as parents, we have authority over what we have authored.

878
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 1: And when I'm talking about we've already established the phases

879
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:27,560
Speaker 1: of parenting and of letting go with our children. We

880
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:30,440
Speaker 1: don't have some sort of authority to go speaking things

881
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:32,799
Speaker 1: into their lives when they're adults that we need to

882
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:35,120
Speaker 1: be in that counselor phase. But where I do still

883
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:38,640
Speaker 1: have authority is on my knees in prayer. Because God

884
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:42,680
Speaker 1: authored that child through me, He used me, and I

885
00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:45,920
Speaker 1: have a sphere of authority in the spirit. Let me

886
00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:49,760
Speaker 1: be very clear there in the spirit, in the lives

887
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:52,240
Speaker 1: of my children. So when I'm praying for my child's

888
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:56,359
Speaker 1: health and well being and spiritual maturation, I have an

889
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:59,919
Speaker 1: authority when I pray that I don't have when I'm

890
00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:02,560
Speaker 1: praying over some other things. Now, I'm still going to

891
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:04,160
Speaker 1: pray for other people. I'm still going to pray for

892
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 1: other people's kids. I'm still going to pray for our country,

893
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:07,960
Speaker 1: I'm going to pray for my church all of these

894
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:11,919
Speaker 1: other things, right, But when we're praying over something God

895
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:15,840
Speaker 1: is birthed through us, we have a greater level of

896
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:20,560
Speaker 1: authority and in the spirit to use in prayer to

897
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:23,600
Speaker 1: enact God's plans and purposes in the lives of our children.

898
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:26,160
Speaker 1: And I think if we really grasp that, we spend

899
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:29,359
Speaker 1: more time fasting and praying for our kids. And I

900
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:32,600
Speaker 1: just want to encourage my listeners that no matter what

901
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:35,560
Speaker 1: your kid is going through, whether that's a health crisis,

902
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:40,880
Speaker 1: whether that's a friendship circle crisis, whether that is a

903
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:43,840
Speaker 1: crisis of faith, whether that is a crisis of what

904
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 1: the next step might be, we have an authority in

905
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:51,840
Speaker 1: prayer to help our child find that right next step.

906
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:55,800
Speaker 1: And it takes some effort on our part, some discipline

907
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:58,279
Speaker 1: on our part. And we have all the love in

908
00:48:58,320 --> 00:49:00,640
Speaker 1: the world for these kids. Sometime if we don't know

909
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:02,840
Speaker 1: how to focus that and channel that into the right direction.

910
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:05,240
Speaker 1: So I want to encourage your listeners to be praying

911
00:49:05,560 --> 00:49:08,360
Speaker 1: for your children fervently. And I think that passage of Scripture,

912
00:49:08,520 --> 00:49:10,840
Speaker 1: I'm gonna spend a little time that was John seventeen.

913
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:14,319
Speaker 1: That's John seventeen. Yeah right, I'm gonna spend a little

914
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:17,320
Speaker 1: time and that really walking through that as a parent,

915
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:20,960
Speaker 1: because that's an awesome section of scripture. This has been amazing,

916
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 1: This has been great again it hahs.

917
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:27,640
Speaker 2: I just believe there's someone listening that is thinking, well.

918
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:28,239
Speaker 1: That's great for you.

919
00:49:28,280 --> 00:49:28,600
Speaker 2: Guys.

920
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 1: You raised your kids in the faith.

921
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:33,439
Speaker 2: You you know, spent years while they were in the house,

922
00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:35,960
Speaker 2: and here I am my kids either about to leave

923
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:39,560
Speaker 2: the house or already an adult with their own life,

924
00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:41,799
Speaker 2: and it's too late. And I just have to say,

925
00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:43,040
Speaker 2: it is never too late.

926
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:45,080
Speaker 1: God man knows your journey.

927
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:48,719
Speaker 2: He knew if you just became a believer and never

928
00:49:48,840 --> 00:49:51,440
Speaker 2: knew anything about God while you were raising your kids.

929
00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 2: God knew that that would happen. But he also knew

930
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:56,359
Speaker 2: that you would come to Christ now. And you have

931
00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:59,120
Speaker 2: that authority. I love what you said about that authority.

932
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:02,560
Speaker 2: You have that authority, and it is never too late.

933
00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:06,960
Speaker 2: God is so capable of working and He has called

934
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:12,399
Speaker 2: you to desire to draw your kids to himself for

935
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:15,200
Speaker 2: this progus, you know, and so it's not too late.

936
00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:17,680
Speaker 1: Thank you. Thank you for saying that that that was

937
00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:20,360
Speaker 1: so holy spirit driven because you're right. I think a

938
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:23,719
Speaker 1: lot of parents, if they come to Christ later, there's

939
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:26,319
Speaker 1: a lot of regret. And let me tell you just

940
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:29,840
Speaker 1: so you know, little inside baseball here, there is no

941
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:32,960
Speaker 1: end of regret even when you have raised your children.

942
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:37,600
Speaker 1: I've homeschooled my kids with a classical Christian education, and

943
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:42,040
Speaker 1: there were some big time mistakes I made. And you know,

944
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:45,000
Speaker 1: I know people who didn't really raise their kids that

945
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:47,680
Speaker 1: way and their kids are walking with the Lord and

946
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:52,480
Speaker 1: doing really well. Every child is different, and I wholeheartedly

947
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:56,759
Speaker 1: agree it is not too late. You can still be

948
00:50:56,800 --> 00:51:00,960
Speaker 1: a really godly influence in your child's life. And through prayer,

949
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 1: God can turn any situation around, any relationship around, any

950
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:09,320
Speaker 1: child around and bring that child home to His plans

951
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:11,600
Speaker 1: and his purposes for their lives. So that's amazing. Why

952
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:13,799
Speaker 1: don't we end this in prayer that I think would

953
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 1: be perfect?

954
00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:15,320
Speaker 2: Don't it sounds good?

955
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:17,399
Speaker 1: I'll say a word, you can just tack it onto

956
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:19,719
Speaker 1: the end of you and like, dear Heavenly Father, thank

957
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:22,160
Speaker 1: you for this time. Thank you for this beautiful time.

958
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:25,120
Speaker 1: With a fellow podcaster with Jamie. I know her heart.

959
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 1: I've just so been blessed and she's so inspired by

960
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 1: your Holy Spirit and her parenting, in her prayers, in

961
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 1: her podcasting. Lord, and we just lift up the parents

962
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:38,480
Speaker 1: that are listening right now who are wanting to be

963
00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:41,440
Speaker 1: a Godly influence in the lives of their children. Lord,

964
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:43,880
Speaker 1: I just pray that inspiration would come. I pray that

965
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:46,320
Speaker 1: something that was said along the way that would really

966
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:50,840
Speaker 1: just help encourage them, give them strategy, help them to

967
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:53,799
Speaker 1: walk in the proper phase of parenting, so they're not God.

968
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:55,920
Speaker 1: We don't want to push our kids away from You,

969
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:59,200
Speaker 1: and we can inadvertently do that in our parenting. Lord,

970
00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:02,080
Speaker 1: in each and every instance where there have been mistakes made,

971
00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:05,279
Speaker 1: give us the humility to be able to go back

972
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:07,240
Speaker 1: to our kids and say, I'm sorry, I was wrong.

973
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:11,520
Speaker 1: Please forgive me, and Lord give us the strategy I know.

974
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 1: For my husband and I, we pray the scriptures over

975
00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:16,919
Speaker 1: our kids, particularly the one who struggled in the faith.

976
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:20,080
Speaker 1: We pray I've assembled five pages of scripture. We just

977
00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:23,520
Speaker 1: pray it over her every day. There's nothing better than

978
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:27,480
Speaker 1: praying your word over our children and over their situations

979
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:29,080
Speaker 1: in our lives. So I pray that you would give

980
00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:34,280
Speaker 1: these parents some strategy and some hope and help them. Lord,

981
00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:37,560
Speaker 1: with this letting go process to be a godly influence

982
00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:40,279
Speaker 1: that we would all walk in the way that Jesus did,

983
00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:44,160
Speaker 1: and letting his disciples go and training them and the

984
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:48,279
Speaker 1: way that they should go, Lord, and praying over them. Lord.

985
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 1: He is interceding at the right hand of the Father

986
00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:52,120
Speaker 1: right now for each and every one of us and

987
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 1: for our kids. So we thank you for this time,

988
00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:56,120
Speaker 1: and I just pray that it would just inspire our

989
00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:59,400
Speaker 1: listeners in great ways, Lord, and their parenting and the

990
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 1: name of Jesus. I pray, Lord, We pray Amen.

991
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:06,440
Speaker 2: Lord, I just echo all of Catherine's prayers, and we

992
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:09,880
Speaker 2: just lift up to you anyone who feels inadequate for

993
00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:12,919
Speaker 2: the job of parenting. And because it's all of us,

994
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:17,680
Speaker 2: and we just lay ourselves before you as loaves and fish. Lord,

995
00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:20,840
Speaker 2: our efforts to parent are like the loaves and fishes.

996
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:24,080
Speaker 2: We just have a little bit. But with you, all

997
00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:26,960
Speaker 2: things are possible. And we know that you've given us

998
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:30,279
Speaker 2: the authority over these children, and we accept it and

999
00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 2: claim it and just pray that your power would be

1000
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:35,880
Speaker 2: made perfect in our weakness. So we just ask that

1001
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:38,960
Speaker 2: you would equip us, give us eyes to see when

1002
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:42,680
Speaker 2: our kids are suffering and struggling, even if it's not

1003
00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:45,960
Speaker 2: a parent on the surface. Give us wisdom to know

1004
00:53:46,160 --> 00:53:48,400
Speaker 2: when to speak and when to be silent, when to

1005
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:51,280
Speaker 2: let them fail a little bit, and when to help

1006
00:53:51,560 --> 00:53:55,040
Speaker 2: and rescue. And for our older children, help us to

1007
00:53:55,200 --> 00:54:00,200
Speaker 2: know exactly when to hold back and teach us to pray.

1008
00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 2: Teach us how to pray for our kids in ways

1009
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:05,560
Speaker 2: that are in alignment with your will. Help us to

1010
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:09,240
Speaker 2: just align our will with yours, to come on board,

1011
00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:11,440
Speaker 2: not to try to drag you along with what we

1012
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 2: want for our kids, but help us to really become

1013
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:16,640
Speaker 2: one with you and to be able to pray with

1014
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:19,600
Speaker 2: power over our children to bring your kingdom come or

1015
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:21,680
Speaker 2: will be done into their lives. Amen.

1016
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:24,680
Speaker 1: Amen, this is awesome. Why don't you tell my listeners

1017
00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 1: where they can learn more about you, your ministry and

1018
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:28,920
Speaker 1: the Praying Women's podcast.

1019
00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:32,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can find Praying Christian Women anywhere you find podcasts.

1020
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:35,160
Speaker 2: You could go to Praying Christianwomen dot com to connect

1021
00:54:35,239 --> 00:54:39,040
Speaker 2: with us online and on social media. We're mostly on

1022
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 2: Instagram and substack and Facebook at Praying Christian Women.

1023
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:46,480
Speaker 1: Al you so you can find out more about me

1024
00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:48,920
Speaker 1: at Catherine Segers dot com that's c A. P H E.

1025
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:52,320
Speaker 1: R I N. E. Seegers s E g Ars dot com.

1026
00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:55,319
Speaker 1: I wanted to mention, well, my podcast is Christian Parent

1027
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:58,360
Speaker 1: Crazy World. You can find that online audio or wherever

1028
00:54:58,560 --> 00:55:02,440
Speaker 1: podcasts are downloaded in your favorite app. But I wanted

1029
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:05,120
Speaker 1: to mention I do have what I've assembled as a

1030
00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:09,319
Speaker 1: Prodigal Bundle on my website that is really helpful for

1031
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:11,880
Speaker 1: parents you have children that are struggling in the faith.

1032
00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:14,200
Speaker 1: In that I have a whole scripture list, the same

1033
00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 1: scripture list we prayed over our children, particularly my daughter

1034
00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:20,000
Speaker 1: as she struggled in her faith. I've assembled five pages

1035
00:55:20,040 --> 00:55:23,120
Speaker 1: of scripture in there, scriptures that are suitable to pray

1036
00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:26,680
Speaker 1: over those situations. I also have other scripture lists that

1037
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:30,279
Speaker 1: I use for prayer. You can use for struggling with

1038
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:34,760
Speaker 1: mental health or anxiety or depression, or you know, whatever

1039
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:37,440
Speaker 1: it is you're going through. I've also got a topical guide.

1040
00:55:37,800 --> 00:55:40,520
Speaker 1: So that bundle is really helpful though in terms if

1041
00:55:40,520 --> 00:55:43,160
Speaker 1: you have a child, and it's all free if you

1042
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:45,000
Speaker 1: have a child struggling in the faith. So you can

1043
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:47,120
Speaker 1: find all of that at Catherine Seekers dot com and

1044
00:55:47,239 --> 00:55:51,480
Speaker 1: Christian Parent Crazy World online Audio and wherever podcasts are downloaded.

1045
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:54,359
Speaker 1: So this has been amazing. Yes, so good to talk

1046
00:55:54,400 --> 00:55:55,200
Speaker 1: with you, Catherine.

1047
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:57,640
Speaker 2: I'm sure we'll see each other again, and I hope

1048
00:55:57,640 --> 00:56:01,200
Speaker 2: you feed dropping in each other's worlds before two.

1049
00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:04,080
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, weee well, thank you so much.

1050
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:12,200
Speaker 2: Do you love true crime but feel like it's a

1051
00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:16,520
Speaker 2: guilty pleasure because of the swearing and explicit content. If so,

1052
00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:19,640
Speaker 2: I can't wait to tell you the good news. Alana

1053
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:23,400
Speaker 2: and I just launched our brand new podcast, Christian True

1054
00:56:23,440 --> 00:56:28,080
Speaker 2: Crime Junkies, a squeaky clean crime show for believers. Each

1055
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:32,560
Speaker 2: week we bring you unforgettable testimonies of survival, stories of justice,

1056
00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:36,920
Speaker 2: and tales of redemption. And yes, sometimes plain old murder,

1057
00:56:37,719 --> 00:56:42,800
Speaker 2: always clean, always from a Christian perspective. Listen to Christian

1058
00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:46,759
Speaker 2: True Crime Junkies today wherever you listen to podcasts, and

1059
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:49,799
Speaker 2: don't forget to follow us. New episodes come out every

1060
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:57,160
Speaker 2: week and you don't want to miss out. We'd like

1061
00:56:57,200 --> 00:56:59,080
Speaker 2: to take just a quick second to thank the team

1062
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:02,000
Speaker 2: at Life Audio for their partnership with us on the podcast.

1063
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:05,040
Speaker 2: If you go to lifeaudio dot com, you will find

1064
00:57:05,120 --> 00:57:08,120
Speaker 2: dozens of other faith centered podcasts in their network. They've

1065
00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:12,000
Speaker 2: got shows about prayer, Bible study, parenting, and so much more.

1066
00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:17,600
Speaker 2: That's life audio dot com.