1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:03,600 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:12,040 Speaker 2: Welcome to the Untangling Prayer Podcast. I'm Rachel Wojo, and 3 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:17,520 Speaker 2: each week we unravel lifesnots through prayer. Here you'll find 4 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:21,759 Speaker 2: practical wisdom and prayer encouragement to guide you through life's 5 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:26,439 Speaker 2: hardest seasons. Join me as we untangle life's messes together, 6 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 2: one prayer at a time. 7 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:37,280 Speaker 1: Hey there, I'm Rachel, and I'm so glad you're here today. 8 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:43,160 Speaker 1: If you're listening to this episode on the Wednesday after 9 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:46,120 Speaker 1: Mother's Day, then can I just say I see you. 10 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:50,440 Speaker 1: Some of you got brunch and flowers and handmade cards 11 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 1: this weekend, and some of you didn't. And some of 12 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,600 Speaker 1: you had a day that looked fine from the outside, 13 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:02,279 Speaker 1: while something inside of you is quietly aching or brewing. 14 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: And that last group is the one I want to 15 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:08,520 Speaker 1: talk to today, because that ache, the one you can't 16 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:13,080 Speaker 1: always name. Scripture has a word to describe it, and 17 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 1: we're going to look into that. Before we dive in, 18 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:19,319 Speaker 1: I want to tell you about something I created with 19 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:23,320 Speaker 1: this exact season in mind. It's called thirty one Prayers 20 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 1: for a Mom's Heart. It's a set of prayer cards 21 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,480 Speaker 1: that I wrote because I know firsthand the moms don't 22 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:34,759 Speaker 1: always have the words for what they're caring. And there's 23 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 1: a card for the mom who feels like she's failing, 24 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:43,080 Speaker 1: the mom who's grieving, the mom whose mother's day didn't 25 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 1: look the way that she hoped it would. And thirty 26 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 1: one prayers, each one paired with scripture, and each one 27 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:54,680 Speaker 1: short enough to read in the carpool line or before 28 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 1: your feet hit the floor in the morning. You can 29 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 1: find them at rachelwojo dot com slash shop. I'd love 30 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:05,760 Speaker 1: for them to be in your hands this week. So 31 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:09,320 Speaker 1: today's hard question is one that a lot of moms 32 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,480 Speaker 1: carry but won't say out loud. And here it is, 33 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 1: how do I pray when bitterness is creeping into my motherhood? 34 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:21,280 Speaker 1: And most of us would never use that word bitterness. 35 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:25,160 Speaker 1: We'd say sad or tired or disappointed. We'd say, well, 36 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:28,760 Speaker 1: I'm just in a hard season. Or here's the difference 37 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:33,639 Speaker 1: between grief and bitterness. As I understand that grief says 38 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:37,960 Speaker 1: this hurts, but bitterness starts to say this hurts and 39 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:41,680 Speaker 1: somebody is to blame. Grief keeps the door to God open, 40 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:46,560 Speaker 1: but bitterness starts to slowly close that door to the Lord. 41 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 1: And I want you to hear me say this from 42 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:52,359 Speaker 1: the very beginning of this episode. Scripture has a category 43 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: for this. It's not a foreign emotion to God. He 44 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 1: is not surprised by this. He's not embarrassed for you 45 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 1: that you feeling it. The Bible has a woman named Naomi, 46 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:07,680 Speaker 1: and we're going to just look spend most of this 47 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,360 Speaker 1: episode on her, But for right now, I just want 48 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:14,240 Speaker 1: you to hear what she said about her own life 49 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 1: out loud in public, in front of the whole town 50 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,640 Speaker 1: of Bethlehem. When she came home. She said, don't call 51 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 1: me Naomi. She told them call me maraa because the 52 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 1: Almighty has made my life very better. I went away full, 53 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call 54 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 1: me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me. The Almighty has 55 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:39,080 Speaker 1: brought misfortune up on me. And this is from Ruth 56 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 1: one twenty one, twenty and twenty one. Naomi needs pleasant, 57 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 1: but Mara means bitter. She was literally saying, stop calling 58 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: me by that name. I'm not pleasant anymore. That woman 59 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:54,840 Speaker 1: is gone. Call me by who I am right now. 60 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 1: And if I'm honest with you, I think that this 61 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 1: is precious, that this is in the Bible. I love 62 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,480 Speaker 1: that God put it in here because it tells me 63 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:06,360 Speaker 1: that when a mom comes home from her own bitter 64 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 1: season and tells the truth about what she's feeling, God 65 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 1: doesn't argue, he doesn't tell her to make it look good. 66 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:18,040 Speaker 1: He records it. And so if you're listening today, that's 67 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 1: where you are. If that's where you are, If there's 68 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 1: a place inside you that started to harden around a 69 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:26,120 Speaker 1: disappointment that you can't fix, then I want you to 70 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:30,479 Speaker 1: hear this. You are allowed to name it. In fact, 71 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,839 Speaker 1: you should. You are allowed to come to God with 72 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:36,000 Speaker 1: the actual word for what is happening inside of you. 73 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:39,960 Speaker 1: He has handled this before. And here's the part that 74 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:43,320 Speaker 1: I'm thinking about you you should hold on to during 75 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:48,800 Speaker 1: this episode. Naomi's name Mara is in chapter one. She 76 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 1: does not stay Mara. By the end of the book 77 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,280 Speaker 1: four chapter Book of Ruth, the women of Bethlehem are 78 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 1: putting a baby in her lap and saying her name 79 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:03,039 Speaker 1: out loud again her Naomi. We don't see this from 80 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:06,719 Speaker 1: one chapter to another. And so today's prayer principle is 81 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 1: this God meets us inside the gap, not after we 82 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:14,279 Speaker 1: close it, not when we've made peace with it, but 83 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:17,520 Speaker 1: inside of it. I want to tell you about a 84 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:21,800 Speaker 1: season in my own life when bitterness was closer to 85 00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:25,479 Speaker 1: me than it's ever been. I don't say that lightly. 86 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,680 Speaker 1: I was twenty seven years old when my mom died. 87 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: She was sixty two. That math has never made sense 88 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,800 Speaker 1: to me. I'm not sure that it ever will. And 89 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 1: here's what I want to say, Because this is a 90 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:43,479 Speaker 1: motherhood episode. The grief wasn't just about losing my mom. 91 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,839 Speaker 1: It was about losing the grandmother she was going to 92 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,240 Speaker 1: be to my children. I had pictures in my head 93 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:51,720 Speaker 1: of what her holding my babies would look like, and 94 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:54,720 Speaker 1: I had pictures of her teaching them and the things 95 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 1: that she taught me. I had a version of my 96 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 1: own motherhood that included my mom in it, and the 97 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 1: day she died, that version also died. There is a 98 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,840 Speaker 1: specific kind of grief that I think doesn't get talked 99 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 1: about enough, and that motherhood I had imagined had her 100 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:16,839 Speaker 1: in it. The motherhood I got did not. I was 101 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:20,599 Speaker 1: so close to bitterness in that season, so close. I 102 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:24,159 Speaker 1: had every reason that Naomi had to look at heaven 103 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:28,160 Speaker 1: and say I went out full and I'm coming back empty. 104 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,119 Speaker 1: My mom was supposed to be here for this part 105 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 1: she wasn't. And I want to tell you what God 106 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:38,840 Speaker 1: used to keep me from setting up camp in that 107 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 1: very dry place. It wasn't a sermon, and it wasn't 108 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,840 Speaker 1: some someone's verse on a coffee mug. It was my husband, Matt, 109 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:48,720 Speaker 1: saying to me, you need to read the Psalms. Honey, 110 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:52,000 Speaker 1: just read the Psalms. So I did. I don't even 111 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,840 Speaker 1: remember which one specifically helped me. I couldn't tell you 112 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 1: which one was the exact one. It wasn't like that. 113 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:02,160 Speaker 1: It was literally reading the whole book day after day, 114 00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:05,400 Speaker 1: page after page, saturating in my heart with what the 115 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,600 Speaker 1: psalms have to say. And I think what they do 116 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 1: for any of us in a bitter season is that 117 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 1: they give our heart permission to be honest with God 118 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:17,800 Speaker 1: about what I was actually feeling. But they also put 119 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:22,320 Speaker 1: words about who He is right next to those feelings 120 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 1: on the same page, like how long Lord you are 121 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,680 Speaker 1: my refuge and the very same psalm my soul is 122 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 1: cast down within me, and then hoping God in one 123 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 1: sentence apart. I think that's how the Psalms became a 124 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 1: lifeline for me. They don't make you choose between honesty 125 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 1: and faith they hold both at the same time. And 126 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,920 Speaker 1: I didn't become Maara, not because I was strong, but 127 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,520 Speaker 1: because the Psalms wouldn't let me settle there. They kept 128 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 1: pulling my eyes off of the grief and back to God, 129 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 1: off of my very personal grief, day after day, until 130 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:02,960 Speaker 1: something in me started to believe again that God was 131 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 1: actually in it with me. So here's the prayer principle 132 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 1: said plainly, when bitterness starts creeping in, you don't have 133 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:14,480 Speaker 1: to make it go away before you pray. You just 134 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:17,200 Speaker 1: need to bring it to God. The Psalms are full 135 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:21,800 Speaker 1: of people doing that exactly, and the God who recorded 136 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 1: their honest prayers is the same one waiting to hear yours. 137 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 1: I want to share something with you for our answered 138 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 1: prayer story in this final segment of the podcast, and 139 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:37,319 Speaker 1: it's going to feel a little different than usual because 140 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 1: this is an answered prayer that took about thirty years. 141 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 1: That twenty seven year old woman sitting on her couch 142 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:49,160 Speaker 1: with her Bible open to the Psalms, she had no 143 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:52,679 Speaker 1: idea what God was doing in her inside of her. 144 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:56,120 Speaker 1: She thought she was just trying to survive. She thought 145 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 1: she was just trying to get from one Sunday to 146 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:04,280 Speaker 1: the next without sinking, and God was doing something underneath 147 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:07,240 Speaker 1: all of that. I look back at myself as that 148 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:10,000 Speaker 1: twenty seven year old, and she almost feels like a 149 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 1: completely different person. God was teaching her something that I 150 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 1: would carry for the rest of my life, and that 151 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:20,000 Speaker 1: was how to fight back with truth, How to take 152 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:24,560 Speaker 1: what was real about grief and lay it down to 153 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,839 Speaker 1: what was real about God. How not to become Maara 154 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 1: when Mara felt like it was earned. Years and years later, 155 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:34,880 Speaker 1: Lesson became something I could hold in my hands. And 156 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,760 Speaker 1: last week I held a pre release copy of my 157 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 1: new book, Praying through Life's Battles. And I'm not telling 158 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 1: you that to try to sell it to you today. 159 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:49,480 Speaker 1: That's not what this is. I'm telling you because I 160 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 1: held that book and I realized something. Every page of 161 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:56,439 Speaker 1: it traces back to me as a twenty seven year 162 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 1: old who didn't know how to pray through the excruciating 163 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:03,960 Speaker 1: gas except to open the psalms like our husband suggested, 164 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:07,360 Speaker 1: and God was answering a prayer I didn't even know 165 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:11,840 Speaker 1: I was praying. The prayer was please don't let me 166 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:16,720 Speaker 1: become Maa, and his answer took many years to fully unfold. 167 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 1: So if you're sitting in a bitter chapter today, if 168 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 1: you can't see what God possibly could be doing in this, 169 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:27,120 Speaker 1: I want you to hear me. He is doing something. 170 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,520 Speaker 1: You may not see it for a long time. You 171 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,440 Speaker 1: may not see it for thirty days or thirty years. 172 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:35,200 Speaker 1: But the same God who wouldn't let me set up 173 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:38,000 Speaker 1: camp and bitterness is the God you are praying to 174 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 1: right now. The bitterness chapter is not the last chapter 175 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:45,200 Speaker 1: of your story. It wasn't for Naomi, it wasn't for me, 176 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,120 Speaker 1: and it's not for you. Before I let you go, 177 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 1: I want to come back to those prayer cards I 178 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:56,040 Speaker 1: mentioned at the beginning, thirty one prayers for a mom's heart. 179 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,480 Speaker 1: I wrote them because I know what it is like 180 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 1: to be a mom who doesn't have the words, and 181 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 1: I wrote them for the seasons when bitterness is trying 182 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:10,080 Speaker 1: to find a root, and when grief is heavier than 183 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:15,280 Speaker 1: you can pray through. Then when motherhood in your hands 184 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:18,880 Speaker 1: looks nothing like the motherhood that you are dreaming of. 185 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:23,520 Speaker 1: Each card is a prayer paired with scripture, short enough 186 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:27,720 Speaker 1: for a hard morning, yet real enough for a hard year. 187 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 1: If this episode found you in a bitter chapter, these 188 00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 1: cards are a way to put your words on a 189 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,760 Speaker 1: Monday morning when you can't find any of your own. 190 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,960 Speaker 1: You can grab them at rachelwojo dot com slash shop. 191 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 1: I'll leave the link in the show notes. Thank you 192 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:49,840 Speaker 1: for joining me on the Untangling Prayer Podcast. I pray 193 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:53,680 Speaker 1: that today's episode has met you right where you are, 194 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,920 Speaker 1: and if you're in the bitter chapter, please don't stay 195 00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:02,440 Speaker 1: there alone. Tell someone, open the psalms, bring it to 196 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 1: the God who recorded Naomi's honest words, and never ask 197 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 1: her to clean them up first. Until next time, remember 198 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:15,800 Speaker 1: God sees you, he hears you, and he knows your needs. 199 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:21,880 Speaker 2: Thanks for joining me on the Untangling Prayer Podcast. If 200 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 2: this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who 201 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 2: could use a little. 202 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 1: Hope, and be sure to subscribe for more. 203 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 2: Until next time, keep seeking, keep trusting, and keep praying.