1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:13,880 Speaker 1: Life Audio. Welcome to the Crosswalk devotional. We are so 2 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:17,240 Speaker 1: glad to have you listening with us here today. Today's 3 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: topic is about choosing whether or not to please. We 4 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:37,080 Speaker 1: will return after a brief message from our sponsor. To 5 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:41,479 Speaker 1: Please or Not to Please? Written by Aaron D. Anthony Brown, 6 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:47,560 Speaker 1: read by Rochelle ALBERTI Bible reading for am I now 7 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:51,400 Speaker 1: trying to persuade people? Or God? Or am I striving 8 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:55,080 Speaker 1: to please people? If I were still trying to please people, 9 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:58,639 Speaker 1: I would not be a servant of Christ Galicians one 10 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:03,600 Speaker 1: ten CSB, a dear friend of mine, has told me 11 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:06,600 Speaker 1: many times he longs to be understood and known by 12 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,679 Speaker 1: those around him. For much of his life he's felt 13 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:13,679 Speaker 1: just the opposite, both with family and friends. What I've 14 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 1: tried to instill in him is that he might be 15 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 1: working against himself. In his mind, doing for others at 16 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:23,919 Speaker 1: the expense of himself is supposed to lead to being understood. 17 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:28,160 Speaker 1: He's a people pleaser, and he knows it. If he 18 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,920 Speaker 1: can do just the right thing and say the right thing, 19 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:35,480 Speaker 1: he will eventually reap the reward of being known. In reality, 20 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 1: they do know him, or some version, but not as 21 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,040 Speaker 1: he wants to be. Known because that part is hidden. 22 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:46,679 Speaker 1: See the contradiction. Those who engage in people pleasing do 23 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:50,120 Speaker 1: so because, like my friend, they are hoping to achieve 24 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:54,440 Speaker 1: some abstract payoff. If only everyone would like them, life 25 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 1: would be bliss not. There will never come a time 26 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,960 Speaker 1: when everyone likes you. Some people will dislike you for 27 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 1: the very fact that you desperately want to be liked. Now, 28 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:11,280 Speaker 1: I don't personally struggle with people pleasing, but I can 29 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaker 1: certainly understand the allure. After all, no one but a 30 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 1: healthy mindset wants to be disliked by everyone. Rather, we 31 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:24,639 Speaker 1: want affirmation and appreciation and reassure us to varying degrees 32 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:28,720 Speaker 1: throughout our lives. People pleasing seems to be what happens 33 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:33,800 Speaker 1: when we desire those things too much. The solution is 34 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 1: not easy, but it is simple. Shift our focus from 35 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:41,400 Speaker 1: people and put it on God. Let's break that down 36 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:47,440 Speaker 1: into practical terms, intersecting faith and life. If you're one 37 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:50,799 Speaker 1: of those people pleasing people, don't ever think that you're 38 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 1: stuck in this particular sin. What you need is a 39 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 1: shift in mindset, and that comes with taking practical steps 40 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:01,639 Speaker 1: over time. In essence, in order to break a habit, 41 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:04,960 Speaker 1: you have to build a new one, a godlier one. 42 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:11,960 Speaker 1: Practice introspection. Maybe you've never considered this, or maybe it's 43 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:15,560 Speaker 1: time to do it again, but self reflection is important. 44 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:19,800 Speaker 1: Take time to consider why you people please so much, 45 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 1: Consider what you're hoping to get and why that matters 46 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:30,359 Speaker 1: so much. Set boundaries when is enough enough? You need 47 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 1: to know yourself in order to set boundaries, And with 48 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 1: boundaries comes the ability to give a simple no, rather 49 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:40,280 Speaker 1: than over explaining and not overburdening yourself with people who 50 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 1: would never in a million years do the same for you. Naturally, 51 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 1: as believers, we are called to serve, even thinklessly. However, 52 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 1: allowing someone to take advantage of you because you're pleasing 53 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:58,240 Speaker 1: them without admonishing them works to their detriment and yours. 54 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 1: Stop overthinking if so and so didn't say the thing 55 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,920 Speaker 1: you imagine them thinking, why are you assuming that's how 56 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,920 Speaker 1: they feel? When we assume, we almost always go for 57 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 1: the worst case scenario, Yet that worst case is rarely 58 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:20,599 Speaker 1: ever what happens. Here's what we can do instead, turn 59 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 1: those worrisome thoughts into prayers. This will help you focus 60 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 1: more on God unless on the imagined problems. If you 61 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 1: want to test this theory, share with so and so 62 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:35,000 Speaker 1: what you assumed that they felt, and see how they respond. 63 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 1: Are you accurate derive your worth from God? You might 64 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,520 Speaker 1: not be a people pleaser in the sense of wanting 65 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:48,359 Speaker 1: to please all the peoples. Maybe your sin is more subtle. 66 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,720 Speaker 1: Maybe you're just trying to please your spouse by withholding 67 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:56,359 Speaker 1: the truth, or please your boss by ignoring wrongdoing. Whatever 68 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,560 Speaker 1: the case, the issue seems to be deriving our worth 69 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:04,039 Speaker 1: from Ma instead of God. Certainly there are roles we 70 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 1: play within our families, friendships, at work. These roles give 71 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:12,799 Speaker 1: us a sense of fulfillment and purpose. However, if any 72 00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:17,320 Speaker 1: of these responsibilities were to disappear, and they may, would 73 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:22,200 Speaker 1: that mean our worth also disappears? According to scripture, that 74 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:26,480 Speaker 1: answer is clear. God's love for us is not contingent 75 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:32,360 Speaker 1: upon doing or being anything. He loves us regardless. If 76 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:37,200 Speaker 1: that's the case, try focusing on pleasing him first and foremost. 77 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:41,920 Speaker 1: We can do for others second. With him as the focus, 78 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:46,200 Speaker 1: and by knowing ourselves and by having boundaries and not overthinking, 79 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:51,279 Speaker 1: we can turn away from being people pleasing people. Further. 80 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:57,000 Speaker 1: Reading Colossians three, twenty three, Proverbs twenty nine, twenty five, 81 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:06,920 Speaker 1: Romans eight thirty one Romans twelve twelve. Thanks for listening 82 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,840 Speaker 1: to today's devotional. If you liked what you heard today, 83 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,600 Speaker 1: we want to make sure you know about our sister podcast, 84 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:16,440 Speaker 1: Your Daily Prayer. When you follow your Daily Prayer in 85 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:19,640 Speaker 1: your favorite podcast app, you'll get a brand new prayer 86 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:23,320 Speaker 1: and devotional each day, so your days begin in conversation 87 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 1: with God. 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