1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:03,660 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:09,920 Speaker 2: Have you ever found yourself asking, God, what happened? Not 3 00:00:09,980 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 2: because you've stopped believing, not because you've lost your faith, 4 00:00:14,060 --> 00:00:18,750 Speaker 2: but because life unfolded so differently than you expected that 5 00:00:18,790 --> 00:00:21,770 Speaker 2: you're still trying to make sense of it. Perhaps you 6 00:00:21,829 --> 00:00:25,650 Speaker 2: prayed faithfully for healing, but the diagnosis remained. Perhaps you 7 00:00:25,670 --> 00:00:28,610 Speaker 2: believed a relationship would last to only to watch it 8 00:00:28,630 --> 00:00:32,300 Speaker 2: fall apart. Perhaps you work diligently toward a goal, only 9 00:00:32,350 --> 00:00:35,620 Speaker 2: to have the opportunity slip through your fingers. Maybe you 10 00:00:35,659 --> 00:00:39,540 Speaker 2: carried a dream for years, something you genuinely believed God 11 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:43,180 Speaker 2: had placed on your heart, and yet that dream never materialized. 12 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:47,120 Speaker 2: One of the hardest realities of life is that sometimes 13 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:51,100 Speaker 2: our greatest pain comes not from what happened, But from 14 00:00:51,170 --> 00:00:55,050 Speaker 2: what didn't happen, disappointment has a unique kind of grief 15 00:00:55,130 --> 00:00:58,950 Speaker 2: attached to it. It's the grief of unmet expectations. It's 16 00:00:59,010 --> 00:01:03,440 Speaker 2: the grief of unanswered questions. It's the grief of looking 17 00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 2: at your life and realizing it doesn't resemble the picture 18 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,680 Speaker 2: you once carried in your heart. What many people don't 19 00:01:10,740 --> 00:01:14,470 Speaker 2: realize is that disappointment affects far more than our emotions. 20 00:01:14,690 --> 00:01:17,950 Speaker 2: It affects our thinking. It affects our stress levels. It 21 00:01:18,020 --> 00:01:22,080 Speaker 2: affects our motivation and our relationships. It affects our faith, 22 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:25,960 Speaker 2: and it even affects our brains. So in honor of 23 00:01:25,980 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 2: the National Day of Encouragement, today we're talking about what 24 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:33,560 Speaker 2: happens when expectations are shattered, why disappointment can become so 25 00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:37,200 Speaker 2: emotionally heavy, and how we can move forward without becoming 26 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:41,790 Speaker 2: stuck in discouragement or cynicism. If you've wrestled with a 27 00:01:41,850 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 2: dream that didn't happen, a prayer that seemed unanswered, or 28 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:48,500 Speaker 2: a season that didn't unfold the way you hoped, this 29 00:01:48,540 --> 00:01:52,480 Speaker 2: conversation is for you. Welcome to your Hope-Filled Perspective, where 30 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,540 Speaker 2: it's always our goal to restore hope, renew minds, and 31 00:01:55,620 --> 00:01:59,670 Speaker 2: empower listeners and viewers to live in your God-given identity. 32 00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:04,090 Speaker 2: We offer biblical encouragement, practical tools, and mental health insights 33 00:02:04,150 --> 00:02:07,490 Speaker 2: to help you renew your mind and discover hope in 34 00:02:07,790 --> 00:02:13,290 Speaker 2: every season. I'm your host, Dr. Michelle Bankson, board-certified clinical neuropsychologist, author, 35 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 2: and companion on the journey of faith, mental, emotional, and 36 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:18,359 Speaker 2: spiritual wellness. 37 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:22,880 Speaker 3: And I'm your co-host, Jessica VanRoekel. We are so glad 38 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:27,080 Speaker 3: you've joined us today. Michelle, I think today's topic touches 39 00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:31,930 Speaker 3: every single listener because disappointment is one of those universal 40 00:02:32,050 --> 00:02:37,660 Speaker 3: human experiences. We may experience different disappointments, but every one 41 00:02:37,710 --> 00:02:40,410 Speaker 3: of us knows what it feels like to hope for 42 00:02:40,470 --> 00:02:44,269 Speaker 3: something and then watch that hope collide with reality. 43 00:02:44,710 --> 00:02:47,990 Speaker 2: No, that's exactly right. I don't know anyone who has 44 00:02:48,090 --> 00:02:52,780 Speaker 2: lived long enough to avoid disappointment. It's part of living 45 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,200 Speaker 2: in a broken world. And what I've noticed both professionally 46 00:02:56,300 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 2: and personally is that disappointment often goes unrecognized. People come 47 00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:07,419 Speaker 2: to me talking about anxiety, discouragement, sadness, irritability, emotional exhaustion, 48 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:12,079 Speaker 2: or even hopelessness. Yet when we begin exploring what's underneath 49 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 2: those emotions, we often discover disappointment sitting quietly at the root. 50 00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:22,020 Speaker 2: They're disappointed in how a relationship turned out. They're disappointed 51 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:27,060 Speaker 2: in their circumstances. They're disappointed in themselves. And sometimes they're 52 00:03:27,090 --> 00:03:31,210 Speaker 2: even disappointed with God. Although they may not feel comfortable 53 00:03:31,310 --> 00:03:32,570 Speaker 2: saying that out loud. 54 00:03:33,870 --> 00:03:37,610 Speaker 3: I heard myself in everything that you just said. And 55 00:03:37,630 --> 00:03:42,050 Speaker 3: I think many Christians especially struggle to admit disappointment because 56 00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:46,010 Speaker 3: they fear it somehow reflects poorly on their faith. There's 57 00:03:46,150 --> 00:03:49,250 Speaker 3: almost like this internal pressure that says, well, if I 58 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:52,190 Speaker 3: trusted God enough, I wouldn't feel disappointed. 59 00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 2: And yet we know that's simply not true. Disappointment isn't 60 00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:59,670 Speaker 2: evidence of weak faith. It's evidence that you're human. And 61 00:04:00,390 --> 00:04:04,630 Speaker 2: the Bible is filled with faithful people who experience disappointment. 62 00:04:04,950 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 2: And what I appreciate is that Scripture doesn't hide their struggles. 63 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:13,530 Speaker 2: In fact, God preserved their stories precisely because... Well, frankly, 64 00:04:13,590 --> 00:04:16,170 Speaker 2: he knew we'd need them. When we read about Sarah 65 00:04:16,250 --> 00:04:20,070 Speaker 2: waiting decades for a child or Joseph spending years in 66 00:04:20,180 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 2: prison after receiving God's promises or David hiding in caves 67 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:29,140 Speaker 2: after being anointed king or Martha and Mary grieving because 68 00:04:29,260 --> 00:04:32,340 Speaker 2: Jesus didn't arrive when they thought he should, we're actually 69 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:38,150 Speaker 2: seeing real people wrestling with real disappointment. And God never 70 00:04:38,290 --> 00:04:41,830 Speaker 2: condemned them for their pain. Instead, he met them in it. 71 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:47,589 Speaker 3: Oh, I'm so glad he kept those stories sacred for 72 00:04:47,770 --> 00:04:51,130 Speaker 3: us today. Michelle, let's start with a question I think 73 00:04:51,270 --> 00:04:56,430 Speaker 3: many listeners are asking. Why does disappointment hurt so much? 74 00:04:56,890 --> 00:05:00,330 Speaker 3: Because frankly, on the surface, it sounds relatively minor compared 75 00:05:00,370 --> 00:05:01,729 Speaker 3: to other forms of suffering. 76 00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:06,039 Speaker 2: That's a great question. I think one reason disappointment hurts 77 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:12,159 Speaker 2: so deeply is because It almost always involves loss of 78 00:05:12,220 --> 00:05:17,660 Speaker 2: some kind. The challenge is that we're often grieving something intangible. 79 00:05:18,020 --> 00:05:21,740 Speaker 2: When someone dies, we recognize the loss immediately. When a 80 00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:26,100 Speaker 2: relationship ends, we recognize the loss. When a job disappears, 81 00:05:26,220 --> 00:05:31,420 Speaker 2: we recognize that loss. But disappointment often involves grieving something. 82 00:05:31,830 --> 00:05:37,460 Speaker 2: an anticipated future. We're grieving what we thought would happen. 83 00:05:37,580 --> 00:05:42,480 Speaker 2: We're grieving what we expected. We're grieving the story we imagined. 84 00:05:42,779 --> 00:05:46,500 Speaker 2: And because the future never actually existed in tangible form, 85 00:05:46,540 --> 00:05:50,870 Speaker 2: people often don't realize they're grieving. Yet grief is exactly 86 00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:51,989 Speaker 2: what's taking place. 87 00:05:52,690 --> 00:05:56,130 Speaker 3: Such an important distinction you pointed out. I know that 88 00:05:56,690 --> 00:06:00,169 Speaker 3: I've experienced seasons where I wasn't grieving a person or 89 00:06:00,210 --> 00:06:03,870 Speaker 3: an event. I was actually grieving an expectation. I was 90 00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:07,429 Speaker 3: grieving the life I thought I'd have. And that grief 91 00:06:07,490 --> 00:06:11,330 Speaker 3: felt confusing because there was nothing visible to point to. 92 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:16,440 Speaker 2: Oh, exactly. And that's one reason disappointment can linger for years. 93 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:21,990 Speaker 2: People don't, by and large, give themselves permission to grieve it. 94 00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:25,020 Speaker 2: They tell themselves, I shouldn't feel this way. It wasn't 95 00:06:25,060 --> 00:06:28,010 Speaker 2: that big of a deal. Look at all the blessings 96 00:06:28,089 --> 00:06:31,390 Speaker 2: I do have. Or other people have it worse. But 97 00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:36,599 Speaker 2: minimizing pain doesn't heal pain. It simply buries it. And 98 00:06:36,820 --> 00:06:42,559 Speaker 2: buried disappointment has a way of resurfacing later. Sometimes it resurfaces, 99 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:47,210 Speaker 2: like we're talking about today, as discouragement. And sometimes as resentment. 100 00:06:47,770 --> 00:06:53,150 Speaker 2: Sometimes it resurfaces as anxiety or emotional numbness. But it 101 00:06:53,270 --> 00:06:57,370 Speaker 2: rarely disappears on its own. So let's talk about what 102 00:06:57,430 --> 00:07:01,420 Speaker 2: happens in the brain when expectations are shattered, because I 103 00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:06,320 Speaker 2: think understanding the neuroscience helps us stop judging ourselves for 104 00:07:06,420 --> 00:07:09,860 Speaker 2: our reactions. One of the primary functions of the brain 105 00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:14,690 Speaker 2: is prediction. Our brains are constantly trying to anticipate what 106 00:07:14,730 --> 00:07:19,490 Speaker 2: will come next. So every experience, every memory, every pattern 107 00:07:19,550 --> 00:07:24,110 Speaker 2: we've observed helps the brain create expectations about the future. 108 00:07:24,350 --> 00:07:28,500 Speaker 2: This process is actually designed to help us survive. The 109 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:34,760 Speaker 2: brain loves predictability because predictability can create a sense of safety. 110 00:07:35,220 --> 00:07:39,350 Speaker 2: And when things happen as expected, the brain feels safe 111 00:07:39,650 --> 00:07:44,710 Speaker 2: and stable. But when reality dramatically differs from what we expected, 112 00:07:44,970 --> 00:07:50,700 Speaker 2: the brain experiences disruption. Researchers sometimes refer to this as 113 00:07:51,020 --> 00:07:55,520 Speaker 2: prediction error. The brain essentially says, wait a minute, that 114 00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:58,860 Speaker 2: wasn't supposed to happen. And the larger the gap between 115 00:07:59,420 --> 00:08:05,290 Speaker 2: expectation and reality, the more emotionally significant that disruption becomes. 116 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:11,420 Speaker 3: Which really explains then why disappointment can feel so destabilizing. 117 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:12,460 Speaker 4: Exactly. 118 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 2: Yes. Many people assume they're overreacting when they're disappointed. But neurologically, 119 00:08:19,620 --> 00:08:25,710 Speaker 2: disappointment requires the brain to recognize and reorganize its understanding 120 00:08:25,910 --> 00:08:30,890 Speaker 2: of reality. So think about someone who expected to remain 121 00:08:30,950 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 2: married for life. or someone who expected their child to 122 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:39,070 Speaker 2: follow the Lord, or someone who expected retirement to look 123 00:08:39,110 --> 00:08:43,630 Speaker 2: a certain way. Their brains weren't simply anticipating those outcomes. 124 00:08:43,929 --> 00:08:49,650 Speaker 2: They were actively building future plans around those outcomes. And 125 00:08:49,690 --> 00:08:54,380 Speaker 2: when those expectations collapse, the brain has to revise the 126 00:08:54,620 --> 00:09:00,780 Speaker 2: entire picture. And that's mentally exhausting. It's emotionally exhausting. And 127 00:09:01,020 --> 00:09:05,740 Speaker 2: often then it activates the brain's stress response system. One 128 00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:10,000 Speaker 2: of the reasons disappointment affects mental health so significantly is 129 00:09:10,140 --> 00:09:14,569 Speaker 2: because the brain often interprets major disappointment as a form 130 00:09:14,610 --> 00:09:17,490 Speaker 2: of threat. Now, we're not talking about physical danger. We're 131 00:09:17,530 --> 00:09:21,230 Speaker 2: talking about emotional threat. The brain's alarm system doesn't always 132 00:09:21,309 --> 00:09:26,270 Speaker 2: distinguish between physical and emotional pain as clearly as we 133 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:31,189 Speaker 2: might think. Research has shown that emotional pain activates many 134 00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:35,150 Speaker 2: of the same neural pathways involved in physical pain. And 135 00:09:35,470 --> 00:09:41,170 Speaker 2: that's one reason why disappointment can literally hurt. Many people 136 00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:45,700 Speaker 2: say things like, my heart aches or I feel crushed 137 00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 2: or I feel broken. And those descriptions aren't merely poetic. 138 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:57,110 Speaker 2: They're describing genuine emotional distress that the brain is processing 139 00:09:57,390 --> 00:10:03,199 Speaker 2: very seriously. When disappointment happens, isn't significant enough, stress hormones increase, 140 00:10:03,420 --> 00:10:08,860 Speaker 2: sleep is disrupted, concentration becomes more difficult, motivation decreases, and 141 00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:13,300 Speaker 2: people may become more emotionally reactive. All of those responses 142 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:16,339 Speaker 2: are normal because they're signs that the brain is trying 143 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,620 Speaker 2: to adjust to a reality it wasn't expecting. 144 00:10:22,450 --> 00:10:26,949 Speaker 3: Michelle, why do some disappointments seem to fade relatively quickly 145 00:10:27,230 --> 00:10:29,350 Speaker 3: while others stay with us for years? 146 00:10:30,070 --> 00:10:36,240 Speaker 2: Because some disappointments touch our identity. That's where disappointment becomes 147 00:10:36,580 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 2: particularly painful. If I expect a package to arrive and 148 00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:44,100 Speaker 2: it's delayed, I'm disappointed. I'm used to my Amazon two-day 149 00:10:44,220 --> 00:10:48,640 Speaker 2: prime delivery, sometimes overnight, right? So when it's not there... 150 00:10:48,910 --> 00:10:52,260 Speaker 2: I'm disappointed because I was expecting it. But if I 151 00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:57,040 Speaker 2: expect my marriage to thrive, my ministry to flourish, my 152 00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:00,880 Speaker 2: child to recover, or my calling to unfold in a 153 00:11:00,940 --> 00:11:06,520 Speaker 2: certain way, those disappointments strike much deeper because they're connected 154 00:11:06,580 --> 00:11:11,890 Speaker 2: to my sense of purpose, meaning, identity, and belonging. Hmm. 155 00:11:12,860 --> 00:11:16,760 Speaker 2: The more personally significant the expectation, the more profound the 156 00:11:16,820 --> 00:11:19,980 Speaker 2: disappointment tends to be. And if we're not careful, we 157 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 2: begin drawing conclusions about ourselves based on those disappointments. So 158 00:11:24,780 --> 00:11:27,760 Speaker 2: we start asking questions like, what did I do wrong? 159 00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:32,550 Speaker 2: What's wrong with me? Why did God allow this? And 160 00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:35,470 Speaker 2: even more significant, can I trust him? 161 00:11:35,490 --> 00:11:40,490 Speaker 3: I think I've said every single one of those questions before. 162 00:11:40,510 --> 00:11:45,150 Speaker 3: Me too. And what I'm hearing from you, though, is 163 00:11:45,210 --> 00:11:50,150 Speaker 3: that those questions aren't merely emotional questions. Those are identity questions. 164 00:11:50,190 --> 00:11:54,550 Speaker 3: They're spiritual questions, and they require careful attention. 165 00:11:55,990 --> 00:11:59,140 Speaker 2: One thing I love about scripture, and I suspect this 166 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:02,900 Speaker 2: is true of you too, Jessica, is that it refuses 167 00:12:03,260 --> 00:12:07,300 Speaker 2: to sanitize human emotion. You know, we often celebrate the 168 00:12:07,380 --> 00:12:14,490 Speaker 2: victories of biblical figures while forgetting the disappointments. they also endured, right? 169 00:12:15,010 --> 00:12:17,910 Speaker 2: Consider Joseph. We know the ending of the story. We 170 00:12:17,990 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 2: know he becomes second in command over Egypt. We know 171 00:12:20,929 --> 00:12:25,130 Speaker 2: God redeems his suffering. Yay. But Joseph didn't know any 172 00:12:25,170 --> 00:12:30,740 Speaker 2: of that while sitting in prison. Imagine the disappointment. He 173 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 2: had received dreams from God, yet everything happening around him 174 00:12:36,980 --> 00:12:38,940 Speaker 2: seemed to contradict those dreams. 175 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:39,580 Speaker 3: So true. 176 00:12:40,750 --> 00:12:43,490 Speaker 2: I suspect many listeners can relate to that feeling. I 177 00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:47,699 Speaker 2: know I can. They probably sense God leading them. They 178 00:12:47,740 --> 00:12:51,140 Speaker 2: believe God was working. And yet their circumstances seem to 179 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:55,160 Speaker 2: tell a completely different story. And sometimes that story seems 180 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,660 Speaker 2: to last a really long time. 181 00:12:58,620 --> 00:13:02,970 Speaker 3: I agree with you 100%. We do have the benefit 182 00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:07,350 Speaker 3: of knowing the end of the story. And people like Joseph, 183 00:13:08,010 --> 00:13:09,910 Speaker 3: I sometimes want to know the end of my story. 184 00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:11,290 Speaker 2: Me too. 185 00:13:12,030 --> 00:13:17,320 Speaker 3: God is like, let's just consider David today. 186 00:13:17,340 --> 00:13:20,140 Speaker 2: You know, we. 187 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:21,900 Speaker 3: Read about David quickly. 188 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,319 Speaker 1: We go through that. 189 00:13:23,380 --> 00:13:26,940 Speaker 3: We can read his whole life in two or three chapters, 190 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:30,710 Speaker 3: 30 minutes. We've read through his life of decades and 191 00:13:30,730 --> 00:13:35,390 Speaker 3: yet years passed between his anointing and his coronation. Years 192 00:13:35,620 --> 00:13:40,920 Speaker 3: of hiding, living in caves, smelly with other outlaws and outcasts. 193 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:45,400 Speaker 3: He had years of uncertainty, years of wondering, did that 194 00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:50,199 Speaker 3: really happen? Is this going to come true? Where are you, God? 195 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:53,250 Speaker 3: That type of a thing, I imagine, must have gone 196 00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:53,910 Speaker 3: through his mind. 197 00:13:54,590 --> 00:13:57,750 Speaker 2: And I think when we're in a place of disappointment, 198 00:13:57,770 --> 00:14:01,510 Speaker 2: I'm going through my own sense of disappointment right now. 199 00:14:01,570 --> 00:14:06,440 Speaker 2: And when we're there, We want that season of disappointment 200 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,380 Speaker 2: to end in the same two or three chapters in 201 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:12,880 Speaker 2: the same 30 minutes. Yeah. And perhaps one of the 202 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:16,640 Speaker 2: most powerful examples is found in Martha and Mary. And 203 00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:19,870 Speaker 2: I can relate to this. They sent word to Jesus 204 00:14:19,910 --> 00:14:24,650 Speaker 2: that Lazarus was sick and Lazarus was a friend of Jesus. 205 00:14:24,870 --> 00:14:29,930 Speaker 2: But from the perspective of Martha and Mary, Jesus delayed. 206 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:34,120 Speaker 2: Imagine what they must have been thinking. Surely he would come. 207 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,870 Speaker 2: Surely he would heal. Surely he wouldn't let his friend 208 00:14:37,950 --> 00:14:42,870 Speaker 2: and our brother Lazarus die. And yet Lazarus died. Their 209 00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:50,530 Speaker 2: expectations were shattered. And when Jesus finally arrived, Martha's first 210 00:14:50,650 --> 00:14:55,370 Speaker 2: words reveal her disappointment. Lord, if you had been there, 211 00:14:55,610 --> 00:15:01,290 Speaker 2: my brother would not have died. That's disappointment. That's grief. 212 00:15:01,850 --> 00:15:07,140 Speaker 2: That's confusion. And I'm grateful that Jesus didn't rebuke her. 213 00:15:07,910 --> 00:15:11,790 Speaker 2: He met her in her sorrow. He listened. He comforted. 214 00:15:12,130 --> 00:15:15,520 Speaker 2: And then he revealed a larger story that she couldn't 215 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:21,300 Speaker 2: yet see. And for me, that's an important reminder. And 216 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,000 Speaker 2: I hope it is for our listeners and viewers as well. 217 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:27,540 Speaker 2: Sometimes we're living in the middle of a story whose 218 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,580 Speaker 2: ending we can't yet see. 219 00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:34,780 Speaker 3: I think if we were to ask everyone out there 220 00:15:34,820 --> 00:15:38,800 Speaker 3: to raise their hands, if they're living in part of 221 00:15:38,860 --> 00:15:41,940 Speaker 3: a story that has disappointment in it, I'm going to 222 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,340 Speaker 3: assume that everybody's out there nodding their heads and saying, yeah, 223 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,640 Speaker 3: that's me. Friends, after a brief break, we're going to 224 00:15:47,710 --> 00:15:52,410 Speaker 3: talk about what happens when disappointments remain unresolved, why it 225 00:15:52,630 --> 00:15:57,970 Speaker 3: often turns into discouragement and cynicism, and and how disappointment 226 00:15:58,030 --> 00:16:02,910 Speaker 3: can quietly shape our view of ourselves, others, and even God. 227 00:16:02,930 --> 00:16:07,090 Speaker 2: And we're also going to discuss dreams that never happened, 228 00:16:07,530 --> 00:16:12,260 Speaker 2: prayers that seem unanswered, and why unresolved disappointment may be 229 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:16,600 Speaker 2: affecting your mental health more than you realize. Stay with us. 230 00:16:16,660 --> 00:16:19,300 Speaker 2: This is going to be an important segment. We'll be 231 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:25,640 Speaker 2: right back after this brief word from our sponsor. Welcome 232 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 2: back to Your Hope-Filled Perspective. In honor of the National 233 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:32,400 Speaker 2: Day of Encouragement, we've been talking about how disappointment affects 234 00:16:32,460 --> 00:16:36,060 Speaker 2: our mental health, our faith, and even our brains. Before 235 00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:40,820 Speaker 2: the break, we discussed how unresolved disappointment can slowly transform 236 00:16:41,060 --> 00:16:46,820 Speaker 2: into discouragement, cynicism, emotional exhaustion, and even a distorted view 237 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:50,320 Speaker 2: of God. We also talked about dreams that didn't happen 238 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:54,330 Speaker 2: in prayers that seem unanswered. Jessica, I think one of 239 00:16:54,370 --> 00:16:59,080 Speaker 2: the reasons this conversation resonates so deeply is because, like 240 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:02,820 Speaker 2: you mentioned before the break, I think every listener and 241 00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:08,570 Speaker 2: viewer can identify at least one disappointment that still feels tender. 242 00:17:08,590 --> 00:17:08,669 Speaker 4: Yeah. 243 00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:13,070 Speaker 2: For some, it's recent and fresh. And for others, it 244 00:17:13,130 --> 00:17:16,540 Speaker 2: may be decades old. Yet regardless of how long ago 245 00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:20,280 Speaker 2: it occurred, disappointment has a way of convincing us that 246 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:24,340 Speaker 2: our future will look exactly like our past. And that's 247 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:28,760 Speaker 2: one of the greatest dangers of disappointment. It doesn't just 248 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:33,369 Speaker 2: affect how we view yesterday. It affects how we imagine tomorrow. 249 00:17:33,390 --> 00:17:39,800 Speaker 3: I think that's exactly right. I'm sitting here thinking, yeah. Yeah, 250 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:43,530 Speaker 3: it's impacting how I think about what comes next. Because 251 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:48,330 Speaker 3: one of the things disappointment tends to steal first is anticipation. 252 00:17:49,070 --> 00:17:53,090 Speaker 3: When we've been hurt repeatedly, when we've prayed prayers that 253 00:17:53,150 --> 00:17:57,950 Speaker 3: seem unanswered, or when we've watched important dreams fall apart, 254 00:17:58,550 --> 00:18:02,230 Speaker 3: we often stop expecting good things. We may continue functioning. 255 00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:05,950 Speaker 3: We may continue serving. We may continue going through the 256 00:18:06,030 --> 00:18:11,670 Speaker 3: motions of faith. But inwardly, We've stopped anticipating God's goodness. 257 00:18:12,190 --> 00:18:17,040 Speaker 3: We begin approaching life with caution rather than expectancy. Instead 258 00:18:17,060 --> 00:18:20,659 Speaker 3: of wondering what God might do, we find ourselves bracing 259 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:24,740 Speaker 3: for what might go wrong. And over time, that posture 260 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:29,290 Speaker 3: becomes emotionally exhausting because we were never created to live 261 00:18:29,330 --> 00:18:33,030 Speaker 3: in a constant state of self-protection. Hmm. 262 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:38,780 Speaker 2: That's such an important observation because from a neuroscience perspective, 263 00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:44,260 Speaker 2: the brain learns from experience. So if disappointment occurs repeatedly, 264 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:49,700 Speaker 2: the brain begins creating what we might call protective predictions. 265 00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:56,280 Speaker 2: Rather than anticipating positive outcomes, it starts preparing for negative ones. 266 00:18:56,660 --> 00:18:59,820 Speaker 2: And this isn't because the brain is defective. It's because 267 00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:03,340 Speaker 2: the brain is trying to keep us safe. The challenge 268 00:19:03,580 --> 00:19:09,340 Speaker 2: is that what protects us from disappointment can also prevent 269 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:15,350 Speaker 2: us from embracing hope. We become reluctant to trust, reluctant 270 00:19:15,410 --> 00:19:19,689 Speaker 2: to dream, reluctant to risk, and sometimes even reluctant to 271 00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:24,550 Speaker 2: pray boldly because we're trying to avoid experiencing that same 272 00:19:24,609 --> 00:19:28,530 Speaker 2: pain again. One of the things that I often explain 273 00:19:28,550 --> 00:19:33,020 Speaker 2: to patients is that the brain's primary goal is not happiness. 274 00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:39,960 Speaker 2: Its primary goal is survival, safety, predictability, certainty. Yet faith 275 00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:45,710 Speaker 2: often requires us to move forward without certainty. Faith requires 276 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:50,620 Speaker 2: us to trust God's character even when outcomes remain uncertain. unknown. 277 00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:57,750 Speaker 2: That's where disappointment creates such tension. Our brains crave certainty, 278 00:19:57,890 --> 00:20:02,350 Speaker 2: but our faith requires trust. Learning to navigate that tension, 279 00:20:02,630 --> 00:20:08,310 Speaker 2: an important part of both emotional and spiritual maturity. Michelle. 280 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:14,560 Speaker 3: If someone listening today realizes they're carrying unresolved disappointment, where 281 00:20:14,619 --> 00:20:16,860 Speaker 3: does healing actually begin? 282 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 2: I believe healing begins with honesty. And that may sound simplistic, 283 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:27,720 Speaker 2: and I don't mean it to because it's remarkably important. 284 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:32,490 Speaker 2: Many believers have become skilled at minimizing disappointment. They tell 285 00:20:32,550 --> 00:20:34,750 Speaker 2: themselves they should just be over it by now. They 286 00:20:34,790 --> 00:20:37,510 Speaker 2: tell themselves they should be stronger. They tell themselves they 287 00:20:37,530 --> 00:20:42,340 Speaker 2: should simply move on. When my father died and I 288 00:20:42,380 --> 00:20:45,840 Speaker 2: was a young girl, he was a strong believer. He 289 00:20:45,859 --> 00:20:50,080 Speaker 2: was a strong evangelist. Everybody loved him. And I remember 290 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:54,790 Speaker 2: being at the funeral and thinking to myself, not, wow, 291 00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:58,470 Speaker 2: I'm so sad or I'm so disappointed. I no longer 292 00:20:58,530 --> 00:21:01,230 Speaker 2: have my daddy. I remember thinking I have to put 293 00:21:01,270 --> 00:21:03,850 Speaker 2: a smile on my face because we all know he's 294 00:21:03,910 --> 00:21:08,490 Speaker 2: in heaven. So even back then, I felt like I 295 00:21:08,550 --> 00:21:13,370 Speaker 2: had to deny as a believer my disappointment. But healing 296 00:21:13,450 --> 00:21:18,310 Speaker 2: doesn't occur through denial. Healing occurs through acknowledgement. We cannot 297 00:21:18,390 --> 00:21:22,610 Speaker 2: surrender something to God that we're unwilling to admit exists. 298 00:21:22,950 --> 00:21:25,669 Speaker 2: And one of the most powerful truths I landed on 299 00:21:25,730 --> 00:21:28,730 Speaker 2: years ago is that God never asks us to pretend. 300 00:21:28,990 --> 00:21:33,240 Speaker 2: He never asks us to call pain something other than pain. 301 00:21:33,420 --> 00:21:36,240 Speaker 2: Throughout scripture, as you and I were talking about, Jessica, 302 00:21:36,260 --> 00:21:41,520 Speaker 2: before the break, we see individuals bringing disappointment honestly before God. 303 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:46,199 Speaker 2: You mentioned David. David did not hide his discouragement. Jeremiah 304 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:49,620 Speaker 2: did not hide his confusion. Habakkuk didn't hide his questions. 305 00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:56,010 Speaker 2: Even Jesus expressed anguish in Gethsemane. Honest emotion is not 306 00:21:56,070 --> 00:22:00,740 Speaker 2: the enemy of faith. In many ways, honest emotion becomes 307 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:06,220 Speaker 2: the doorway through which deeper faith develops. But I think 308 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:09,940 Speaker 2: some of our listeners and viewers have spent years trying 309 00:22:09,980 --> 00:22:16,070 Speaker 2: to outrun their disappointment. They've stayed busy. They've immersed themselves 310 00:22:16,170 --> 00:22:19,250 Speaker 2: in work. They've focused on caring for everyone else. But 311 00:22:19,290 --> 00:22:22,560 Speaker 2: perhaps what they haven't done is grieved. And grief is 312 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:26,530 Speaker 2: often the first step towards healing. But I started by 313 00:22:26,619 --> 00:22:29,430 Speaker 2: answering your question by saying we have to be honest. 314 00:22:29,710 --> 00:22:33,930 Speaker 2: And that's what's required to grieve. Whether the disappointment involves 315 00:22:34,090 --> 00:22:37,790 Speaker 2: a broken relationship, a lost opportunity, a health challenge, an 316 00:22:37,970 --> 00:22:42,139 Speaker 2: unanswered prayer or dream that never materialized, we have to 317 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:45,100 Speaker 2: acknowledge the loss before we can move on from it. 318 00:22:45,609 --> 00:22:49,869 Speaker 3: And I think that's especially important because many disappointments involve 319 00:22:50,090 --> 00:22:54,560 Speaker 3: invisible losses. No one sees them. No one attends a 320 00:22:54,670 --> 00:22:58,159 Speaker 3: funeral or memorial for them. Yet there's still losses. A 321 00:22:58,220 --> 00:23:01,040 Speaker 3: woman who hoped for children and never became a mother 322 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:08,120 Speaker 3: experiences loss. A man whose career ended unexpectedly experiences loss. 323 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,940 Speaker 3: Someone who dreamed of a thriving marriage now finds themselves 324 00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:17,510 Speaker 3: alone is experiencing loss. These losses may not be visible 325 00:23:17,609 --> 00:23:21,170 Speaker 3: to others, but they're very real to the person carrying them. 326 00:23:21,830 --> 00:23:25,310 Speaker 2: Oh, exactly. And one of the reasons invisible losses can 327 00:23:25,390 --> 00:23:29,429 Speaker 2: linger so long is because they're often unacknowledged. When grief 328 00:23:29,609 --> 00:23:34,650 Speaker 2: isn't expressed, it tends to settle deeper. It influences our emotions, 329 00:23:34,910 --> 00:23:37,490 Speaker 2: our relationships, and our expectations. 330 00:23:38,390 --> 00:23:42,630 Speaker 3: Which is why giving language to disappointment can be so healing. 331 00:23:42,970 --> 00:23:46,960 Speaker 3: Sometimes this emotional healing begins with a simple prayer. Lord, 332 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:52,180 Speaker 3: this hurt more than I've admitted. I'm disappointed. I'm confused. 333 00:23:52,420 --> 00:23:55,460 Speaker 3: I'm grieving what I thought would be because that kind 334 00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:59,270 Speaker 3: of honesty creates space for God to meet us. 335 00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:05,500 Speaker 2: Another critical aspect of healing involves renewing our minds. Disappointment 336 00:24:05,540 --> 00:24:10,240 Speaker 2: doesn't merely affect our emotions. It also affects our thought patterns. 337 00:24:10,540 --> 00:24:15,010 Speaker 2: And after significant disappointment, people often begin adopting beliefs that 338 00:24:15,180 --> 00:24:18,630 Speaker 2: feel true but aren't actually true. They may conclude that 339 00:24:18,910 --> 00:24:22,030 Speaker 2: God has forgotten them. They may believe that nothing good 340 00:24:22,070 --> 00:24:25,409 Speaker 2: will ever happen again. They might assume that every future 341 00:24:25,490 --> 00:24:29,510 Speaker 2: opportunity will end the same way the previous opportunities ended. 342 00:24:29,910 --> 00:24:35,459 Speaker 2: And these conclusions feel convincing because they're rooted in deep pain. 343 00:24:35,740 --> 00:24:39,280 Speaker 2: Yet pain is not always an accurate interpreter of reality. 344 00:24:41,580 --> 00:24:45,030 Speaker 3: So what does neuroscience teach us in this regard? 345 00:24:45,750 --> 00:24:50,910 Speaker 2: This is where neuroscience and scripture beautifully intersect. Neuroscience teaches 346 00:24:51,030 --> 00:24:54,750 Speaker 2: us that the brain remains capable of change throughout life. 347 00:24:54,970 --> 00:24:58,020 Speaker 2: That's what we've referred to as neuroplasticity. The brain is 348 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:03,620 Speaker 2: constantly forming, strengthening, and modifying neural pathways based on repeated 349 00:25:03,660 --> 00:25:10,649 Speaker 2: thoughts and experiences. Scripture communicates a remarkably similar principle long 350 00:25:10,730 --> 00:25:14,190 Speaker 2: before neuroscience ever came to be. But when scripture talks 351 00:25:14,250 --> 00:25:17,570 Speaker 2: about renewing the mind, Romans 12, 2 reminds us to 352 00:25:17,670 --> 00:25:21,250 Speaker 2: not be conformed to the patterns of the world, but 353 00:25:21,290 --> 00:25:24,230 Speaker 2: to be transformed through the renewing of our minds. In 354 00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:28,800 Speaker 2: other words, transformation involves changing how we think. But that 355 00:25:28,859 --> 00:25:33,679 Speaker 2: doesn't mean anything. ignoring disappointment. It doesn't mean pretending everything 356 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:38,520 Speaker 2: is wonderful. It means refusing to allow disappointment to become 357 00:25:38,580 --> 00:25:41,930 Speaker 2: the lens through which we interpret everything else. And it 358 00:25:41,990 --> 00:25:47,190 Speaker 2: means learning to recognize when disappointment is speaking louder than truth. 359 00:25:47,990 --> 00:25:52,500 Speaker 3: And that can be a process. Sometimes we think renewing 360 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:55,800 Speaker 3: the mind means repeating a Bible verse a few times 361 00:25:56,180 --> 00:26:00,230 Speaker 3: and immediately feeling better. But in reality, it's more often 362 00:26:00,270 --> 00:26:04,310 Speaker 3: a daily decision to challenge thoughts that aren't aligned with 363 00:26:04,350 --> 00:26:05,070 Speaker 3: God's truth. 364 00:26:05,530 --> 00:26:10,570 Speaker 2: Exactly. Healing rarely happens instantaneously. More often it happens gradually. 365 00:26:10,869 --> 00:26:14,790 Speaker 2: Every time we choose truth over fear, every time we 366 00:26:14,810 --> 00:26:19,409 Speaker 2: choose trust over cynicism, every time we choose hope over despair, 367 00:26:19,670 --> 00:26:23,350 Speaker 2: we're strengthening new pathways. We're teaching our minds to focus 368 00:26:23,410 --> 00:26:27,820 Speaker 2: on God's faithfulness rather than solely on our disappointments. 369 00:26:29,390 --> 00:26:33,530 Speaker 3: That's good food for thought right there. Let's talk specifically 370 00:26:33,590 --> 00:26:37,070 Speaker 3: about hope because I think many listeners are wondering whether 371 00:26:37,130 --> 00:26:40,380 Speaker 3: hope is even possible after repeated disappointment. 372 00:26:41,180 --> 00:26:43,780 Speaker 2: And I understand that question. In fact, I think many 373 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:48,440 Speaker 2: people secretly wonder if hope is worth the risk because 374 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:53,780 Speaker 2: they've become disappointed so many times that hope feels dangerous. 375 00:26:54,380 --> 00:26:54,640 Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. 376 00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:58,899 Speaker 2: Yet biblical hope is very different from wishful thinking. Hope 377 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,950 Speaker 2: is not confidence that everything will unfold exactly as we want. 378 00:27:03,130 --> 00:27:08,470 Speaker 2: Hope is confidence that God remains faithful regardless of how 379 00:27:08,609 --> 00:27:11,770 Speaker 2: circumstances unfold. And you and I have talked about that 380 00:27:12,109 --> 00:27:16,160 Speaker 2: many times on this podcast, and you frequently talk about 381 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:20,360 Speaker 2: God's faithfulness. But one of the reasons disappointment becomes so 382 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:24,700 Speaker 2: devastating is because we often place our hope in specific outcomes. 383 00:27:25,100 --> 00:27:27,980 Speaker 2: We hope a prayer will be answered in a particular way. 384 00:27:28,060 --> 00:27:31,400 Speaker 2: And when that outcome doesn't occur, hope feels shattered. But 385 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:34,609 Speaker 2: biblical hope was never intended to rest on outcomes. It 386 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:39,169 Speaker 2: was intended to rest on God's character. That's why scripture 387 00:27:39,410 --> 00:27:42,910 Speaker 2: repeatedly points us back to God and who he is 388 00:27:43,250 --> 00:27:48,230 Speaker 2: rather than merely what God does. Because his character remains constant. 389 00:27:48,290 --> 00:27:53,380 Speaker 2: His goodness remains constant. His presence remains constant. His love 390 00:27:53,460 --> 00:27:58,960 Speaker 2: remains constant. And because those things remain unchanged, hope remains 391 00:27:59,100 --> 00:28:02,109 Speaker 2: possible even when circumstances disappoint us. 392 00:28:03,609 --> 00:28:07,530 Speaker 3: I think that this is such an important distinction because 393 00:28:07,890 --> 00:28:11,950 Speaker 3: many of us assume hope means expecting a particular result. 394 00:28:13,070 --> 00:28:16,629 Speaker 3: But biblical hope is deeper than that. It's trusting God, 395 00:28:16,850 --> 00:28:19,170 Speaker 3: even when we don't know what the result will be. 396 00:28:19,869 --> 00:28:20,469 Speaker 4: Exactly. 397 00:28:20,490 --> 00:28:25,590 Speaker 2: Hope isn't certainty about the future. It's confidence in the 398 00:28:25,770 --> 00:28:30,760 Speaker 2: one who holds the future. As we begin wrapping up 399 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:34,480 Speaker 2: today's conversation, I want to speak directly to the listener 400 00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:39,320 Speaker 2: or viewer who feels disappointed. Maybe you're disappointed by circumstances. 401 00:28:39,620 --> 00:28:43,410 Speaker 2: Maybe you're disappointed by people. Maybe you're disappointed by yourself. 402 00:28:43,940 --> 00:28:48,220 Speaker 2: Or perhaps you're even wrestling with disappointment toward God. And 403 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,980 Speaker 2: disappointment may be part of your story, but it's not 404 00:28:52,020 --> 00:28:54,150 Speaker 2: the end of your story. Yeah. 405 00:28:54,630 --> 00:28:57,450 Speaker 3: And one of the beautiful truths woven throughout scripture is 406 00:28:57,490 --> 00:29:01,989 Speaker 3: that God consistently works in situations that appear hopeless. He 407 00:29:02,090 --> 00:29:08,000 Speaker 3: works through delays. He works through detours. He works through disappointments, 408 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:12,100 Speaker 3: believe it or not. And he works through circumstances that 409 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:15,780 Speaker 3: make no sense from a human perspective. Again and again, 410 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:20,170 Speaker 3: over and over, we see him bringing redemption out of 411 00:29:20,250 --> 00:29:25,530 Speaker 3: situations that initially looked like failure. Joseph thought prison was 412 00:29:25,570 --> 00:29:29,130 Speaker 3: the end of the story. It wasn't. David thought the 413 00:29:29,170 --> 00:29:32,040 Speaker 3: cave might be the end of the story. It wasn't. 414 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:36,000 Speaker 3: Mary and Martha thought death was the end of the story. 415 00:29:36,820 --> 00:29:41,920 Speaker 3: It was not. And whatever disappointment your facing today may 416 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:43,940 Speaker 3: not be the end of your story either. 417 00:29:45,300 --> 00:29:48,080 Speaker 2: You may not understand what God is doing. You may 418 00:29:48,140 --> 00:29:50,739 Speaker 2: not see the purpose yet. You may not have all 419 00:29:50,780 --> 00:29:53,720 Speaker 2: the answers to all your questions, but the absence of 420 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:58,970 Speaker 2: understanding does not mean the absence of God's activity. He 421 00:29:59,070 --> 00:30:02,070 Speaker 2: is often working in ways we can't yet see. 422 00:30:03,270 --> 00:30:07,450 Speaker 3: Friend, if today's conversation resonated with you, we encourage you 423 00:30:07,470 --> 00:30:09,730 Speaker 3: to spend some time with the Lord this week and 424 00:30:09,790 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 3: honestly bring your disappointments to Him. Don't minimize them. Don't 425 00:30:13,630 --> 00:30:16,540 Speaker 3: hide them. Don't assume they don't matter. If they matter 426 00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:18,560 Speaker 3: to you, they matter to Him. 427 00:30:19,180 --> 00:30:24,560 Speaker 2: And remember this, disappointment doesn't have to become despair. God 428 00:30:24,620 --> 00:30:27,860 Speaker 2: is able to meet you in your disappointment, heal what 429 00:30:27,900 --> 00:30:31,740 Speaker 2: has been wounded, renew what has become weary, and restore 430 00:30:31,850 --> 00:30:36,110 Speaker 2: hope where hope feels lost. Friends, thank you for spending 431 00:30:36,150 --> 00:30:39,070 Speaker 2: time with us today on your hope-filled perspective. If this 432 00:30:39,150 --> 00:30:42,830 Speaker 2: episode encouraged you, please subscribe, leave a review, and consider 433 00:30:42,870 --> 00:30:45,130 Speaker 2: sharing it with someone who may need hope in the 434 00:30:45,190 --> 00:30:49,070 Speaker 2: middle of their disappointment. Until next time, we want you 435 00:30:49,110 --> 00:30:52,520 Speaker 2: to remember that God has not forgotten you, your story 436 00:30:52,580 --> 00:30:55,590 Speaker 2: is not over. And as long as God is on 437 00:30:55,650 --> 00:30:59,590 Speaker 2: his throne, hope prevails. Friends, I look forward to being 438 00:30:59,650 --> 00:31:02,860 Speaker 2: with you again next week for another episode of your 439 00:31:02,890 --> 00:31:06,220 Speaker 2: hope-filled perspective. But until then, it's my prayer for you 440 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,240 Speaker 2: that you have a hope-filled week. 441 00:31:10,860 --> 00:31:18,280 Speaker 1: Everyone experiences pain at times. It can manifest physically, emotionally, relationally, 442 00:31:18,700 --> 00:31:24,480 Speaker 1: or spiritually. It can follow tragic accidents, great loss, sudden betrayal, 443 00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:30,490 Speaker 1: or unexpected and unwanted change. Often, pain is temporary. But 444 00:31:30,590 --> 00:31:33,530 Speaker 1: what do you do when it isn't? When pain won't 445 00:31:33,670 --> 00:31:37,790 Speaker 1: go away, healing does not come, and grief and hurt 446 00:31:38,070 --> 00:31:42,000 Speaker 1: settle in to stay. Drawing on her experience of chronic 447 00:31:42,060 --> 00:31:46,990 Speaker 1: pain in her years as a board-certified clinical neuropsychologist, Dr. 448 00:31:47,030 --> 00:31:52,330 Speaker 1: Michelle Bankson provides a countercultural perspective on pain. Offering hope 449 00:31:52,490 --> 00:31:57,950 Speaker 1: without any false promises or empty platitudes, Dr. Bankson unwraps 450 00:31:58,050 --> 00:32:02,130 Speaker 1: the complex emotional aspects of dealing with pain. She gives 451 00:32:02,170 --> 00:32:06,200 Speaker 1: you permission to question God, helps you identify the lies 452 00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:10,360 Speaker 1: you've believed about your pain, and reorients your perspective based 453 00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:14,220 Speaker 1: on the truth of God's Word. Each chapter ends with 454 00:32:14,270 --> 00:32:19,500 Speaker 1: a recommended playlist, reflection questions, and a prayer. Your pain 455 00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:23,350 Speaker 1: may not change, but your experience with it can. 456 00:32:23,730 --> 00:32:24,090 Speaker 4: Dr. 457 00:32:24,210 --> 00:32:30,550 Speaker 1: Sondra Dalton-Smith, physician, best-selling author, and a host of the 458 00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:34,700 Speaker 1: I Choose My Best Life podcast, had this to say 459 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:36,420 Speaker 1: about the hem of his garment. 460 00:32:36,940 --> 00:32:37,200 Speaker 2: Dr. 461 00:32:37,220 --> 00:32:41,010 Speaker 1: Michelle Bankson is honest and transparent, and she gives the 462 00:32:41,050 --> 00:32:44,880 Speaker 1: reader permission to ask hard questions and practical guidance on 463 00:32:44,930 --> 00:32:47,540 Speaker 1: how to seek God during times when you feel the 464 00:32:47,580 --> 00:32:51,959 Speaker 1: most wounded. A beautiful gift for every person living with pain. 465 00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:56,790 Speaker 1: Holly Gerth, best-selling author of What Your Mind Needs for 466 00:32:56,910 --> 00:33:01,620 Speaker 1: Anxious Moments, says, pain is inevitable, but enduring it alone 467 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:05,140 Speaker 1: is optional. Dr. Michelle Bankston is a voice of hope 468 00:33:05,380 --> 00:33:08,120 Speaker 1: who will speak into your struggles, a helping hand who 469 00:33:08,420 --> 00:33:11,950 Speaker 1: will point you to Jesus, and a wise guide who 470 00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:15,550 Speaker 1: will lead you through what you're facing so you can 471 00:33:15,630 --> 00:33:19,750 Speaker 1: embrace more of what our good God has for you. 472 00:33:20,230 --> 00:33:23,090 Speaker 1: Pick up a copy of The Hem of His Garment 473 00:33:23,310 --> 00:33:30,380 Speaker 1: for you and a friend wherever books are sold. Do 474 00:33:30,410 --> 00:33:35,500 Speaker 1: you appreciate the biblically-based, hope-filled perspective offered each week by Dr. 475 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:39,140 Speaker 4: Bankson? Why don't you join the conversation? Take a moment 476 00:33:39,180 --> 00:33:42,200 Speaker 4: and leave us a review. It's easy. Just scroll down 477 00:33:42,340 --> 00:33:45,040 Speaker 4: on whatever app you're listening on, click on review, and 478 00:33:45,060 --> 00:33:47,410 Speaker 4: tell us who you are, what you love about the program, 479 00:33:47,590 --> 00:33:49,330 Speaker 4: and let us get to know you a little bit too. 480 00:33:49,950 --> 00:33:52,410 Speaker 4: And while you're at it, why not hit subscribe so 481 00:33:52,450 --> 00:33:54,610 Speaker 4: you'll be the first to know each time a new 482 00:33:54,670 --> 00:33:55,510 Speaker 4: episode is aired. 483 00:33:57,820 --> 00:34:00,200 Speaker 2: I'd like to take just a second to thank the 484 00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:03,160 Speaker 2: team at Life Audio for their partnership with us on 485 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:07,040 Speaker 2: this podcast. If you go to lifeaudio.com, you'll find dozens 486 00:34:07,100 --> 00:34:10,660 Speaker 2: of other faith-centered podcasts in their network. They've got shows 487 00:34:10,730 --> 00:34:13,629 Speaker 2: about prayer, Bible study, parenting, and more.