1 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:06,280 Speaker 1: Life Audio. Hey, their friend to other creekmore Here. Thanks 2 00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:09,760 Speaker 1: for listening to the Compared to You podcasts. Today. Hey, 3 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:14,800 Speaker 1: today we're talking or real talk about why we feel stuck. 4 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:19,760 Speaker 1: Have you ever just gotten stuck? Maybe around the way 5 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:22,439 Speaker 1: you feel about your body, even really the way we 6 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:26,560 Speaker 1: feel around anything. I mean, body image issues are often 7 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 1: the surface thing that perhaps we notice are most aware 8 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 1: of that often there's a whole lot beneath the surface 9 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 1: where we can see the same pattern that's happening with 10 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 1: our body image issues, with other circumstances or struggles in 11 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:44,000 Speaker 1: our life. And so today we're going to talk about 12 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,880 Speaker 1: what do you do if you just are stuck, if 13 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,160 Speaker 1: you don't know how to get unstuck, if you feel 14 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:53,640 Speaker 1: like you're trying, you're doing, you're striving, you're just trying 15 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 1: to check all the boxes to get unstuck, and you 16 00:00:56,120 --> 00:01:00,600 Speaker 1: are still stuck. This one is for you. I'm glad 17 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 1: you're here today. Hey. Are you friends with us on 18 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 1: improvebody image dot Com? Yes, we have a friends list. 19 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:10,399 Speaker 1: Everyone has an email list, I get it. But we 20 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:13,479 Speaker 1: send out one encouraging message a week, and we've got 21 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 1: freebies from time to time and just can keep you 22 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:19,320 Speaker 1: up to date on new courses and other books that 23 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 1: we launch. We'd love to just have you partner with us. 24 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:24,200 Speaker 1: There you can get improved bodymanche dot com. It's also 25 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 1: a great place to search for podcast episodes that are 26 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,040 Speaker 1: specific to things that you are struggling with from week 27 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 1: to week. And you can find all my U version 28 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 1: bibble reading plans, you can find out about all my books. 29 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,040 Speaker 1: All the things are there, so go to improve bodymanche 30 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 1: dot com. You can take a free body image quiz, 31 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,280 Speaker 1: which is super fun. We all like quizzes, right, so 32 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: you can take a quiz there and become email friends 33 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 1: with us, and I promise we won't spam you. Okay, 34 00:01:48,760 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 1: Now let's get to today's episode. Hey then, well, I'm 35 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 1: glad you're listening today. I want to just let you 36 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 1: know that I am trying to design this episode as 37 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:11,840 Speaker 1: an episode that you can go back to and listen 38 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:15,640 Speaker 1: to again and again. I'm trying to record this for 39 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:20,280 Speaker 1: those days when you're like I just can't anymore, like 40 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:24,639 Speaker 1: I just don't know what to do anymore, or maybe 41 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:29,720 Speaker 1: maybe you've said something more like this, if I can't 42 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:33,960 Speaker 1: change my body, I'll just die. And I don't mean 43 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 1: that in a literal sense, but just the feeling is 44 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:42,320 Speaker 1: so overwhelming you can't stand it anymore. You're just hating 45 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 1: your body, hating how you feel, hating how you look, 46 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 1: and you feel like you just can't take it anymore. 47 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,720 Speaker 1: And again, like I said in the intro, it doesn't 48 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 1: have to just be your body. It could be anything 49 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,880 Speaker 1: in your life where you get to that point where 50 00:02:55,880 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 1: you're just like, unless this happens, I feel like I 51 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:04,800 Speaker 1: want to die. This reminds me of Rachel's desperation and 52 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:09,079 Speaker 1: Jenesis thirty. Maybe you know the story of Rachel and Leah, 53 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,200 Speaker 1: and they're both married to the same guy, Jacob. That's 54 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:16,640 Speaker 1: a mess there. But in Jenesis thirty, verses one and two, 55 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:23,200 Speaker 1: Rachel is saying, or maybe more accurately, yelling, to Jacob, 56 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:31,440 Speaker 1: give me children or I'll die. She's so frustrated, she's overwhelmed, 57 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 1: her feelings have swallowed her whole. She just can't take 58 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 1: it anymore. She's desperate. Maybe that's how you felt sometimes too, 59 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,360 Speaker 1: Maybe that's how you feel right now now if we 60 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 1: pause and look at what's really going on here for 61 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:52,320 Speaker 1: Rachel specifically, oh maybe for you too. I'll leave that 62 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,360 Speaker 1: up to you but we can see that part of 63 00:03:55,440 --> 00:04:01,400 Speaker 1: Rachel's desperation is actually envy. You see, if you remember 64 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,640 Speaker 1: the story, what's happening is Leah and Rachel both married 65 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 1: to Jacob, but Leah keeps getting pregnant. She said, baby 66 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: after baby after baby, and on top of that, boy babies, 67 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 1: which were even more valuable in that society, more of 68 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,719 Speaker 1: a status symbol to be a mom of boys, and 69 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,799 Speaker 1: Rachel just can't take it anymore. Leah is getting ahead, 70 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,920 Speaker 1: Leah is winning in life. Leah is beating her. Leah's 71 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:30,239 Speaker 1: got the dream and Rachel can't take it. She must 72 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 1: have it too. It's eating her alive. Maybe you can relate. 73 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:41,160 Speaker 1: Maybe you're watching everyone around you shrink on GLP ones 74 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:45,480 Speaker 1: but you don't personally feel that's the right move for you. 75 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 1: Or maybe you want to scream every time you get 76 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 1: on social media, between the weight loss ads, the supplement ads, 77 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 1: the photos of your friends who've recently shrunk, it's driving 78 00:04:56,800 --> 00:05:03,920 Speaker 1: you crazy, and perhaps, like Rachel, instead of yelling at Jacob, 79 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,240 Speaker 1: although I don't know, maybe you're yelling at the man 80 00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:10,400 Speaker 1: in your life, but you're yelling at the sky, give 81 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:15,200 Speaker 1: me weight loss or I'll die. Give me a thinner body, 82 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 1: a better body, or I surely won't make it another day. 83 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 1: Oh maybe you've prayed this God? Is that me skinny? 84 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:27,040 Speaker 1: Or I'll always be miserable, I'll always hate my life. 85 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 1: I can't think of anything else. This is all I want. 86 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,680 Speaker 1: This is my one desire. Oh friend, I think I've 87 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 1: said and I've prayed it. Well, let's pause a second. 88 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:44,120 Speaker 1: My one desire. Oh my, we've stopped singing God, I'm 89 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 1: desperate for you, and maybe we've replaced it with God. 90 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:54,000 Speaker 1: I'm desperate for fill in the blank. Maybe it's I'm 91 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:59,000 Speaker 1: desperate for thinness. Maybe it's I'm desperate for something else 92 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:02,800 Speaker 1: in your life. And please hear me. The only way 93 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 1: I can articulate this clearly is because I've thought all 94 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:09,680 Speaker 1: these thoughts and I've felt all these feelings. The struggle 95 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:13,039 Speaker 1: is real. There's no shame or blame coming at you 96 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,240 Speaker 1: in this. I'm not trying to make you feel bad 97 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:18,720 Speaker 1: about where you're at. Please hear that I've been there too. 98 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,680 Speaker 1: But instead, today I want to call you out of 99 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 1: this place of darkness because I don't want you to 100 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:28,760 Speaker 1: stay stuck. And I think what will help that most 101 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,920 Speaker 1: is if I can challenge you to think about your 102 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:38,520 Speaker 1: struggle biblically. That's what helped me. I want to inspire 103 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:42,360 Speaker 1: you to lift your thoughts higher. So let's go back 104 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 1: to the Rachel Lea story for a second. While Rachel 105 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 1: is desperate for the babies that Leah has kept having, 106 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:53,560 Speaker 1: Lea's also desperate. It's interesting that Rachel can't see that. 107 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 1: But Lia's desperation is a little different because Leah's longing 108 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:01,440 Speaker 1: for love and attention from Jacob, who is rightfully her 109 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:06,560 Speaker 1: husband as well. I mean, Leah has what Rachel wants, 110 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 1: but it's also Leah envying Rachel because Rachel has what 111 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 1: she wants. And isn't it strange to think about? Like 112 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,880 Speaker 1: Rachel is sure if she just has what Leah has, 113 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:21,360 Speaker 1: she'll be satisfied, she'll be happy, and Leah probably similarly 114 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 1: is sure that if she just has what Rachel has, 115 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 1: then she'll be satisfied, then she'll be happy. But they're 116 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:31,000 Speaker 1: both missing the point. Well not Leah missed it a lot, 117 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 1: but there's this interesting, very rare moment of clarity that 118 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 1: we see in scripture, and it happens for Leah when 119 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 1: she gives birth to Judah, her fourth baby. Now, if 120 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,520 Speaker 1: you're not super familiar with the Bible, what you need 121 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 1: to know is that Jesus is from the tribe of Judah. 122 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,880 Speaker 1: Rachel and Leah's sons eventually go on to be the 123 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:58,200 Speaker 1: twelve tribes of Israel. But Judah goes on to be 124 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:03,480 Speaker 1: the great, great several more great grandfather of Jesus. And 125 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 1: when Leah has this baby, when she gives birth to 126 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:12,320 Speaker 1: Judah in Genesis twenty nine thirty five, she names him 127 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,240 Speaker 1: a little bit differently. Okay, so Judah and her fourth son, 128 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 1: but the first few boys are named names that kind 129 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 1: of tell us about where Leah's at, right. The first 130 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 1: boy's name really means now my husband will see me, 131 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:30,000 Speaker 1: and the second boy's name is like, now my husband 132 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:33,800 Speaker 1: will hear me. But she gets to Judah number four 133 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:38,080 Speaker 1: and recognizes something. She recognizes that none of those driving 134 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:41,040 Speaker 1: all she thought those baby boys were gonna bring her 135 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 1: closer to her husband, that they were gonna win her 136 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:46,240 Speaker 1: the kind of love and affection she really wanted from 137 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:50,360 Speaker 1: her husband, and none of it worked. Three babies nothing. 138 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:55,080 Speaker 1: But so she gets to baby four and Judah means, 139 00:08:55,679 --> 00:09:00,600 Speaker 1: now I will praise the Lord. Leah shifts her atude. 140 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 1: She shifts her thinking. She makes an intentional declaration of 141 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 1: gratitude for what God has given her, instead of embracing 142 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:17,000 Speaker 1: envy or longing or an inordinate desire for something else. 143 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:23,439 Speaker 1: She thinks she needs to satisfy her I see, Rachel 144 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 1: is kind of believing the same lie that Leah was believing. Like, 145 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,439 Speaker 1: Rachel believes that as soon as she has that baby, 146 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:34,720 Speaker 1: she'll have it all. She'll be able to rest and 147 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:39,240 Speaker 1: just savor the victory. She'll have Jacob's love, and she'll 148 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:42,440 Speaker 1: have given him a son. But does this actually work 149 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:45,080 Speaker 1: for Rachel. Well, you can read the rest of the story. 150 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,920 Speaker 1: I mean, Rachel and Leah start making their servants sleep 151 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:51,400 Speaker 1: with Jacob, and then eventually in chapter thirty, verse twenty two, 152 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:54,840 Speaker 1: God remembers Rachel and she does have a son. But 153 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:59,560 Speaker 1: what does Rachel do, Well, she doesn't stop and pause 154 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,200 Speaker 1: and see this as a great gift from God that 155 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:06,160 Speaker 1: makes her more grateful and more faithful to him. Instead, 156 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:09,880 Speaker 1: what we see is Rachel can't leave Laban's home without 157 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:13,600 Speaker 1: stealing the household idols. Now, most scholars believe these were 158 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 1: fertility idols. So Rachel has the baby boys she always 159 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 1: thought would make her happy, and what happened it wasn't enough. 160 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,880 Speaker 1: She wanted more. Instead of believing the Lord could do 161 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,480 Speaker 1: it for her again or trusting him to provide as 162 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:33,920 Speaker 1: he already had provided, she stole the idols. Getting what 163 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,920 Speaker 1: she wanted, what she desired, what she thought she couldn't 164 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:41,600 Speaker 1: live without, did not draw her closer to God. In fact, 165 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 1: it separated her further from him. So hear me clearly, friend, 166 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 1: It's not a bad desire to want weight loss or 167 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:54,000 Speaker 1: body change, or just to look different, or for other 168 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:57,320 Speaker 1: circumstances in your life to be different. These aren't bad desires. 169 00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,560 Speaker 1: I mean, you don't have to be living under a 170 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:03,480 Speaker 1: rock to not want a different body. In our culture 171 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,719 Speaker 1: like fat is the new poor. Someday I'm going to 172 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:10,560 Speaker 1: write an article called that if you're still carrying extra 173 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,199 Speaker 1: weight in the age of Ozenthic, it must be because 174 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 1: you can't afford it or you are too dumb to 175 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,439 Speaker 1: know about it. I mean, this is the cultural attitude 176 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,000 Speaker 1: that is present everywhere, and it's really difficult to navigate. 177 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,800 Speaker 1: There's so much shame around this, and there may even 178 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 1: be more stigma around having a larger body at this 179 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 1: moment in history because of how these glps have just 180 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 1: taken over everything, and hear me clearly, I'm not mad 181 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:41,160 Speaker 1: at you if you're using them. My only hope is 182 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,800 Speaker 1: that you are not believing the hype that they'll fix 183 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:47,680 Speaker 1: everything forever and ever, especially when it comes to body 184 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:51,840 Speaker 1: image issues, because friend, body image issues are always about 185 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:58,160 Speaker 1: so much more than just your body. As I was 186 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 1: saying before the break, us are about so much more 187 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,640 Speaker 1: than just your body. At the beginning of June, we 188 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:06,040 Speaker 1: started another forty Day Journey. We try to do this 189 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:11,040 Speaker 1: journey quarterly. It's six weeks of online meetings where we 190 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:15,200 Speaker 1: walk through my forty Day Body Image workbook help for 191 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:18,600 Speaker 1: Christian women who've tried everything. And if you're listening to 192 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:20,920 Speaker 1: this mid June, like you've missed a few sessions, but 193 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 1: you can still join us. You can still sign up now, 194 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:25,120 Speaker 1: and I'd actually encourage you to do that and not wait. 195 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:28,480 Speaker 1: Just take action today because you can watch all the 196 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:31,520 Speaker 1: sessions you missed via replay, and then if you're not 197 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:33,240 Speaker 1: reading along or not able to keep up, you can 198 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:35,920 Speaker 1: just be a fly on the wall. Just listening to 199 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:41,640 Speaker 1: our conversations will encourage your journey with finding body image freedom. 200 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 1: But I mentioned this because recently on one of our 201 00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 1: first calls, and these weren't her exact words, but essentially, 202 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,520 Speaker 1: one participant asked me the question, and she's kind of like, 203 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:55,520 Speaker 1: what's the secret, Heather, Like, what's the secret to fixing 204 00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:58,080 Speaker 1: all of this? Like? What is the actual goal that 205 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:00,760 Speaker 1: I'm working toward that will help me find peace with 206 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:04,360 Speaker 1: my body whether I'm skinny or pudgy or just outright fat? Like, 207 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:07,880 Speaker 1: what is the secret to, as Paul says it, like 208 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:11,760 Speaker 1: being content in all circumstances as it pertains to my body. 209 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,720 Speaker 1: And I had to pause and think for a second, 210 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:20,280 Speaker 1: and the answer that came to me was this pure humility. 211 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:25,000 Speaker 1: Now I use the adjective pure before the word humility 212 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,080 Speaker 1: on purpose because many of us believe that we are 213 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:32,600 Speaker 1: humble naturally because we don't really like ourselves or we 214 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,760 Speaker 1: don't really like our bodies that much, And we define 215 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:39,840 Speaker 1: humility as the opposite of pride. Pride, we believe is 216 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:43,400 Speaker 1: loving yourself a lot, and so that humility must be 217 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 1: not loving yourself or not really even liking yourself. And 218 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,120 Speaker 1: we even like carried this conversation in the group discussion 219 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:53,720 Speaker 1: into people pleasing. In fact, if you join the forty 220 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,280 Speaker 1: Day Journey this summer. You get the replays, you can 221 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:58,520 Speaker 1: listen to our whole conversation. I thought it was really interesting. 222 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:04,199 Speaker 1: But in short, people pleasing is not humility. We're actually 223 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,559 Speaker 1: people pleasing because we think we can control what others 224 00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:09,240 Speaker 1: think of us. And it's actually just another part of pride, 225 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,880 Speaker 1: and that probably deserves a whole podcast in and of itself. 226 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,880 Speaker 1: But let's go back to humility. You've probably heard the quote. 227 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,200 Speaker 1: It's misattributed all the time, so I'm not even gonna 228 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,320 Speaker 1: try because I know I get it wrong. But the 229 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 1: quote is humility is not thinking less of yourself, but 230 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:27,960 Speaker 1: it's thinking of yourself less. And this gives us a 231 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:31,280 Speaker 1: good starting place as we think of humility. But let's 232 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 1: look deeper into scripture for more insight. Okay, perhaps you 233 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:37,720 Speaker 1: remember in Philippines too, that's when we read about Christ's humility, 234 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,560 Speaker 1: that Jesus came and he emptied himself of all of 235 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,400 Speaker 1: the glory he had being God, but he came to 236 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:47,360 Speaker 1: earth as a baby, a fully human man. A better 237 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:54,040 Speaker 1: biblical definition of humility is in these three words meekness, lowliness, 238 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:58,200 Speaker 1: and well, it's actually three more words, absence of self. 239 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 1: The Greek word that's translated humility and colautions three twelve 240 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:14,400 Speaker 1: literally means lowliness of mind. It is thinking of others more, higher, better. 241 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:22,120 Speaker 1: You choose your adjective there better than yourself. Right, and again, 242 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,800 Speaker 1: that doesn't mean that you have a negative view of yourself. 243 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 1: It doesn't mean that you have quote unquote poor self esteem. 244 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:32,880 Speaker 1: It just means that you have a heart posture where 245 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 1: it's okay if others are better. And this is what 246 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:43,360 Speaker 1: happens when we die to ourselves. A scripture structs us, right, 247 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:47,680 Speaker 1: that's when we can find this kind of humility. When 248 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,600 Speaker 1: we die to self, we give up all the ways 249 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 1: that we've tried in and of ourselves to settle our 250 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:58,800 Speaker 1: own worth. There's like all these identities that we've tried 251 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:02,600 Speaker 1: to assume so that we could feel valuable or important 252 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:06,440 Speaker 1: or lovable or worthy or special. Right. Identity is like 253 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:09,920 Speaker 1: I'm the thin one, I'm the put together one, I'm 254 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:13,840 Speaker 1: the good mom, I'm the great athlete, I'm the clean eater. 255 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:19,000 Speaker 1: I could go on and on and on and again. 256 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:22,040 Speaker 1: It's not that any of these identities are necessarily bad, 257 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:27,240 Speaker 1: but when we find our identity and worse in these things, 258 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:30,760 Speaker 1: that we've tried to strive for to prove our value, 259 00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:36,720 Speaker 1: O friend, we're chasing after false idols. And Paul says, 260 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:41,000 Speaker 1: perhaps you remember Paul talking about his whole resume, right, 261 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:45,240 Speaker 1: but then he says, that's all dung. He's like, that's 262 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:51,760 Speaker 1: not that's crap. Maybe the best common vernacular word. He says, 263 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,400 Speaker 1: I have nothing to boast about. I have nothing to 264 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:57,280 Speaker 1: brag about, even though I've got this long resume of 265 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:03,280 Speaker 1: I'm this, I'm that. Nothing on this list of things, 266 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:06,480 Speaker 1: of identities, of things that should make me valuable according 267 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:09,920 Speaker 1: to the standards of this world. Nothing is giving me worth. 268 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:15,760 Speaker 1: Nothing can give me worth other than Jesus. I did 269 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:20,240 Speaker 1: a podcast on this topic a year or more ago, 270 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,720 Speaker 1: and I'm gonna put a link to that in the 271 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:26,199 Speaker 1: show notes. The podcast episode is called what If I 272 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:30,320 Speaker 1: just want a body I'm proud of? And I think 273 00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:32,800 Speaker 1: it'll give you even more insight. Off. This is something 274 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:36,800 Speaker 1: you've wrestled with. But back to you and why you're 275 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:40,200 Speaker 1: still stuck. Oh friend, I'm gonna say this as gently 276 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:44,480 Speaker 1: and as lovingly as I can, but you need to 277 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:48,280 Speaker 1: get over yourself. Well. I'm not saying this is easy. 278 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:52,119 Speaker 1: I know there's lots of buzz about nervous system regulation 279 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,960 Speaker 1: and oh, you're stuck in fight or flight from decades 280 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,359 Speaker 1: of childhood trauma. And there's all sorts of other reasons 281 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 1: that popular psychology maybe saying that you can't or you 282 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:06,639 Speaker 1: won't ever be able to get over yourself, you'll never 283 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,400 Speaker 1: feel safe, you'll never be able to stop thinking about you. 284 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 1: But let me affirm something to you. Jesus doesn't ask 285 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:17,920 Speaker 1: us to do things that would not be possible. Scripture 286 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:21,479 Speaker 1: was not only written for a subset of people that 287 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,800 Speaker 1: had a healthy upbringing. In fact, if you think about scripture, 288 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:29,520 Speaker 1: oh my goodness, the amount of trauma that people in 289 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:34,879 Speaker 1: the Bible went through is overwhelming, right, And so we 290 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:40,120 Speaker 1: can't believe this lie that there's some psychological reason that 291 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:45,560 Speaker 1: we can't act as Scripture instructs. And I'm not I'm 292 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:49,160 Speaker 1: not trying to be harsh or legalistic about this at all. Friend, 293 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:54,159 Speaker 1: if you're struggling, get help. I'm not telling you to 294 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,440 Speaker 1: just get over what happened to you. I'm not saying 295 00:18:56,440 --> 00:19:01,200 Speaker 1: that at all. Like there's wisdom and finding someone rooted 296 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:06,840 Speaker 1: and grounded in scripture to process things with. But I'm 297 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:11,960 Speaker 1: saying you're gonna need to get over yourself. You're gonna 298 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 1: need to kill that pride. And while psychology can help 299 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:24,280 Speaker 1: us explain and understand some of the ways men and 300 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:29,800 Speaker 1: women think and operate, right, all of psychology has to 301 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:33,560 Speaker 1: fall under subject to God's word. It's not scripture and 302 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:38,439 Speaker 1: psychology explaining things. It's scripture over psychology. And this is 303 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:41,639 Speaker 1: getting really confused in our culture, and it's really concerning 304 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,440 Speaker 1: to me. I was with a group of women recently 305 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:48,920 Speaker 1: committed believers, and one innocently explained she just kind of 306 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,199 Speaker 1: made an innocent comment. She's like, well, you know, the 307 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:54,160 Speaker 1: Bible takes care of like seventy percent of our problems, 308 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,640 Speaker 1: but then like the other the rest, like we need 309 00:19:56,640 --> 00:20:00,399 Speaker 1: psychology to answer for And I had to correct, and 310 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,320 Speaker 1: I felt bad because I could tell she was a 311 00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:05,600 Speaker 1: little embarrassed, because as I was speaking, I think she 312 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,960 Speaker 1: was like, oh, yes, of course that's true. But I 313 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,919 Speaker 1: think she was a little embarrassed because it's just becomes 314 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,840 Speaker 1: so common to believe that you do need the Bible 315 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:17,159 Speaker 1: and you need answers from psychology as well, and that 316 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 1: you need both in order to ever find healing or 317 00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:23,960 Speaker 1: change things in your life. You need both, and that's 318 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:30,520 Speaker 1: just not true scripture Trump's psychology. My point is this, though, 319 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,760 Speaker 1: like Jesus is where the healing comes from. Period at 320 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,160 Speaker 1: the end of last summer, and I'll link this episode 321 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,120 Speaker 1: in the podcast in the podcast show notes as well, 322 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:42,240 Speaker 1: But I talked about how we can waste a lot 323 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:46,520 Speaker 1: of time just trying to understand our issues, while Scripture 324 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:51,840 Speaker 1: tells us to what, lean not on our own understanding, right, 325 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:54,399 Speaker 1: Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not 326 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,199 Speaker 1: on your own understanding, and all your ways. Acknowledge him, 327 00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,400 Speaker 1: and he will direct your paths Proverbs three, five and six. 328 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: I know a lot of you that memorized, but most 329 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,399 Speaker 1: of us just want to understand. We're kind of control 330 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,320 Speaker 1: freaks in that way. We believe if we can figure 331 00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:11,560 Speaker 1: it out, then we'll heal. When I do this, like 332 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,760 Speaker 1: if I can just make sense of it in my brain, 333 00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:18,239 Speaker 1: then I'll be okay. But doing the mental exercise of 334 00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:22,760 Speaker 1: why we're struggling, though it can certainly be helpful to 335 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,520 Speaker 1: some degree, but this is not ultimately how you heal. 336 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:31,160 Speaker 1: You cannot think your way out of any issues. It's 337 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,399 Speaker 1: got to be Jesus. It's got to be Jesus coming 338 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,600 Speaker 1: in and touching them. So I'm gonna say this one 339 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:40,720 Speaker 1: more time. Friend, you have to get over yourself. You 340 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:46,720 Speaker 1: have to be able to think less about you. You 341 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 1: have to lay down your pride, because, yes, I'm sorry, 342 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:53,480 Speaker 1: it is pride that keeps us stuck wondering am I 343 00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:57,399 Speaker 1: good enough? Do people like me? Did I say the 344 00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,639 Speaker 1: right thing? Did I do the right thing? Or people 345 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,720 Speaker 1: upset with me? Are people happy with me? Who's mad 346 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:05,639 Speaker 1: at me? Who doesn't think I'm good enough? It's pride 347 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:09,480 Speaker 1: that keeps us ruminating on ourselves all of the time. 348 00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:15,040 Speaker 1: And it's a quiet, insidious sort of pride. Right. It's 349 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,080 Speaker 1: not the pride that we picture, like the arrogant, puffs 350 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:22,480 Speaker 1: up person who's flaunting themselves everywhere. No, like, this is 351 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:25,480 Speaker 1: a much more dangerous pride because it's a quiet pride 352 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,480 Speaker 1: and we fail to even see it as pride because 353 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:33,840 Speaker 1: it's so subtle. So let's go back to Rachel and Leah. 354 00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:37,720 Speaker 1: Really like, who did Rachel care most about? Who was 355 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:43,440 Speaker 1: Rachel most focused on? She was focused on herself. Give 356 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:47,080 Speaker 1: me a baby's or I'll die. I want what I want, 357 00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:52,679 Speaker 1: you know, I mean we talked earlier about how Rachel 358 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:58,199 Speaker 1: couldn't even leave town without stealing her father's household idols. 359 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,240 Speaker 1: She's not cant. And when she got the baby she wanted, 360 00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,280 Speaker 1: she didn't stop and thank God for his mercy and 361 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:08,080 Speaker 1: just giving her a child. She didn't stop and praise 362 00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,520 Speaker 1: him like Leah does when she has baby number four. 363 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:15,600 Speaker 1: She's still looking for something else, for false gods to 364 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:22,679 Speaker 1: stave her. Oh, let's juxtapose what Rachel did with Mary 365 00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:25,000 Speaker 1: the Mother of Jesus. I was just reading this morning 366 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:28,480 Speaker 1: in Luke one and this is just a day or 367 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,440 Speaker 1: so after we had that conversation in the forty Day 368 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,680 Speaker 1: Journey group that I mentioned where were talking about pure humility, 369 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:36,520 Speaker 1: And today, as I was reading, I saw how clearly 370 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:41,719 Speaker 1: Mary the Mother of Jesus demonstrates this concept of pure humility. 371 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,320 Speaker 1: In Luke one point thirty eight, Mary is responding to 372 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 1: this huge news. Okay, So the angel the Lord has 373 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:51,040 Speaker 1: shown up to her and has told her she's gonna 374 00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:53,200 Speaker 1: have a baby, and she was like, dude, how's that possible? 375 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,520 Speaker 1: I'm a virgin And you know, he lays it all 376 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,720 Speaker 1: out for and like, let's just be clear on something, right, 377 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,560 Speaker 1: So natural this is not good news? Okay. So She's 378 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:05,639 Speaker 1: got this obstacle of figuring out how the world she 379 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:09,120 Speaker 1: could possibly be pregnant. But she also has to know 380 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:13,480 Speaker 1: that being pregnant is going to jeopardize her engagement to Joseph. 381 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,479 Speaker 1: She's got to know that any woman who gets pregnant 382 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:20,320 Speaker 1: outside of marriage could be stoned by her family for 383 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 1: the shame that she's brought on them. Like this would 384 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:29,520 Speaker 1: be overwhelming news, maybe not even good news, but Mary's 385 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:34,360 Speaker 1: response is not reflective of that at all. Mary's response 386 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:40,640 Speaker 1: is pure humility. She says, behold, I am the Lord's servant. 387 00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:46,000 Speaker 1: Let it be to me according to your word. Friend, 388 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,080 Speaker 1: if you're stuck, let me invite you to try a 389 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,439 Speaker 1: new way to be unstuck. You see, most of us 390 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,879 Speaker 1: try to strive ourselves out of our stuckness. We just 391 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,400 Speaker 1: tell ourselves we'll do better, and then we'll feel better. 392 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,480 Speaker 1: We'll eat better, we'll exercise better, we'll pray better, we'll 393 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:01,280 Speaker 1: serve better, we'll control our better. We make all these 394 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:05,399 Speaker 1: thousand promises to ourselves, hoping and trusting that someday we 395 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,879 Speaker 1: can be better enough to actually feel better. And we 396 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:13,720 Speaker 1: pursue self improvement and thereby hope we will feel better 397 00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:18,920 Speaker 1: about ourselves. But the answer isn't in self improvement. In fact, 398 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,560 Speaker 1: I think too often self improvement just opens us up 399 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:26,360 Speaker 1: for more pride. It's like, finally I've arrived, I've done 400 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:28,919 Speaker 1: all the improving, I'm good enough in this area. And 401 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:32,800 Speaker 1: then we're kind of looking for the compliments and the accolades, like, hey, 402 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,200 Speaker 1: everyone noticed that I did good in this area. Everyone 403 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:38,080 Speaker 1: noticed I lost weight. Everyone noticed that I am dressing better. 404 00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:42,080 Speaker 1: Everyone noticed that I have kids that are proving that 405 00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:43,760 Speaker 1: I'm a good mom. And then we kind of puff 406 00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:48,440 Speaker 1: up even more. See, now everyone knows I'm and that's 407 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,320 Speaker 1: that false identity statement again, right, everyone knows I'm the 408 00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:54,600 Speaker 1: thin one. Everyone knows I'm the accomplished one. I'm the 409 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:58,240 Speaker 1: successful one. I'm the good mom, I'm the clean eater. 410 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,600 Speaker 1: I've done it, I've made it, I did something great. 411 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:08,120 Speaker 1: Look at me. Oh the pride that can puff when 412 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:12,760 Speaker 1: we get what it is we strive for. I'm gonna 413 00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:14,600 Speaker 1: say this gently, but we're a little bit like three 414 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:18,600 Speaker 1: year olds, aren't we. Like when we watch a three 415 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:21,600 Speaker 1: year old accomplish and I use that word loosely, something 416 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:25,200 Speaker 1: like pouring milk and cereal or tying his or her 417 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,880 Speaker 1: own shoes or picking at her own clothes for the day, 418 00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:31,159 Speaker 1: and that three year old's like me, digit me, did it? Me? 419 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:34,080 Speaker 1: Did it right? And a three yearlds's so proud of themselves, 420 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:36,119 Speaker 1: while the adults in the room were like, oh, you 421 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:43,200 Speaker 1: kind of made a mess. But we're so self focused. Friend, 422 00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:46,119 Speaker 1: we need to grow up. And I say, this was 423 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,199 Speaker 1: so much grace and compassion. I know it may have 424 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:51,399 Speaker 1: been a really hard journey for you to be exactly 425 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:54,919 Speaker 1: where you're at today. But God's call for you to 426 00:26:54,960 --> 00:27:02,200 Speaker 1: be unstuck is a call to spirituality. It's a call 427 00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:07,560 Speaker 1: to pure humility. It's a call to put the pride aside. 428 00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:12,080 Speaker 1: Stop trying to be something and do something apart from him, 429 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,680 Speaker 1: or worse, stop trying to be something and do something 430 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,760 Speaker 1: and pretend you're taking him along for the ride. If 431 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:23,119 Speaker 1: he's not leading, friend, you're going in the wrong direction. Instead, 432 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:26,400 Speaker 1: we have to do as John commands, and for John 433 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,800 Speaker 1: five point twenty one he says, and it's curious that 434 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:34,159 Speaker 1: he says it this way, Little children, keep yourselves from idols. 435 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:38,679 Speaker 1: All of these ways we try to chase better, better, 436 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:42,560 Speaker 1: better are idols. I write all about this in my 437 00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:45,320 Speaker 1: book The Comparison Free Life. So if you're not sure 438 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:47,040 Speaker 1: what I mean by that or how that works, I 439 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,000 Speaker 1: hope you'll just go grab that book on Amazon. It's 440 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,400 Speaker 1: called The Comparison Free Life, and I explain it all. 441 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,160 Speaker 1: I also explain how to stop comparing if you've tried 442 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:57,879 Speaker 1: all the things. But isn't it curious that John says 443 00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,320 Speaker 1: little children goes back to that picture of us as 444 00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:03,840 Speaker 1: the three year olds, saying me did it? We did it, 445 00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:09,640 Speaker 1: We did it. John see's that too. Until we grow up, 446 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:14,240 Speaker 1: we keep chasing idols. That's why we have to grow up. 447 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:15,800 Speaker 1: We have to put the prede aside. We have to 448 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:19,000 Speaker 1: be like Mary and declare, behold, I am your humble servant. 449 00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,719 Speaker 1: You know. A few verses later and Luke one, we 450 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:26,880 Speaker 1: read Mary's Magnifica. It's a prayer, a song that Mary sings, 451 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,439 Speaker 1: and the first verse of it you might be familiar with. 452 00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:33,560 Speaker 1: Maybe you've sang this song at church. My soul magnifies 453 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:38,160 Speaker 1: the Lord. So to magnify something is to make it larger. 454 00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,800 Speaker 1: And what we make largest in our hearts is what 455 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:47,240 Speaker 1: we will worship. And Mary is declaring goodness versus. After 456 00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:50,600 Speaker 1: she gets this big news, she is boldly declaring that 457 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:56,160 Speaker 1: she will make the Lord largest, she will worship him. 458 00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,120 Speaker 1: Here's my question for you today, friend, what are you 459 00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:01,040 Speaker 1: magnifying when we're stuck in body and ma just us? 460 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:05,800 Speaker 1: Most of the time, we're stuck magnifying ourselves. An illustration 461 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,320 Speaker 1: I used probably a decade ago when I first started 462 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:12,080 Speaker 1: teaching around this, but I was driving outside of Dallas. 463 00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 1: I lived outside of Dallas at the time. I was 464 00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:16,400 Speaker 1: on six thirty five, if you're familiar with it. There 465 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,400 Speaker 1: was a ton of traffic. I was going really slowly, 466 00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:22,240 Speaker 1: and a ladybug landed a right smack dab in the 467 00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:25,680 Speaker 1: middle of my windshield. And again, I'm going like five 468 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:30,360 Speaker 1: miles per hour at at most, And I started noticing 469 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:34,040 Speaker 1: that if I zoomed in my focus on the lady bug, 470 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,520 Speaker 1: I couldn't see everything else clearly out of my windshield, 471 00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:41,280 Speaker 1: Like everything else went out of focus when I zoomed 472 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:45,880 Speaker 1: in on that little ladybug. But if I zoomed out, 473 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:49,040 Speaker 1: I could see everything just fine, and I could tell 474 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:52,160 Speaker 1: that the ladybug took up what maybe one one thousandth 475 00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:56,080 Speaker 1: of the space in the windshield ahead of me, Like 476 00:29:56,560 --> 00:30:00,360 Speaker 1: that little ladybug wasn't really affecting my ability to see 477 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:04,000 Speaker 1: out the windshield unless I zoomed in on the ladybug. 478 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:07,440 Speaker 1: And when I was magnifying the ladybug, when I was 479 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:11,880 Speaker 1: super uber focused on that ladybug, man, I was a 480 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:16,800 Speaker 1: dangerous driver right because I couldn't see anything else clearly 481 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:20,040 Speaker 1: except for the ladybug. But all I had to do 482 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:22,720 Speaker 1: was zoom out, and then I could drive without problems. 483 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:28,960 Speaker 1: And that's why what we magnify makes a difference, my friend. Oftentimes, 484 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:33,160 Speaker 1: when we're magnifying ourselves and our bodies, we are staring 485 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:37,320 Speaker 1: at the ladybug and missing everything else in life. Everything 486 00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:40,000 Speaker 1: else in life is out of focus. And that's one 487 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,800 Speaker 1: of the reasons why I love this, why my team 488 00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:46,760 Speaker 1: loves to work with women, because it's a great privilege 489 00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:49,120 Speaker 1: to help you learn to zoom out. It's when you 490 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,840 Speaker 1: zoom out. It's not just ever about body magi issues. 491 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:53,800 Speaker 1: It's not just that your body magicues change. It's like 492 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:58,640 Speaker 1: everything changes. You see everything differently. What we're trying to 493 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:03,800 Speaker 1: do is help you understand and notice what you're magnifying 494 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:08,800 Speaker 1: and shift shift it so you can zoom out or 495 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:11,600 Speaker 1: really even better, shift it to what you're magnifying. Is 496 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:15,080 Speaker 1: what Mary magnified, which is the Lord. So I called 497 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,080 Speaker 1: this episode what to Do if You're Stuck, and I've 498 00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:19,840 Speaker 1: thrown a lot at you today, but I want you 499 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:22,960 Speaker 1: to hear this. It's really hard to get unstuck alone. 500 00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:25,920 Speaker 1: Of course, we all would rather just do this ourselves. 501 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:27,960 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna keep listening to the podcast and read 502 00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:30,080 Speaker 1: your books, Heather, and all by myself, I'm gonna get better, 503 00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:35,320 Speaker 1: Oh friend, hear me. Sometimes that's just pride talking. And 504 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,080 Speaker 1: sometimes I could just be shame that we just don't 505 00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:41,080 Speaker 1: want to involve others in our issues, like it's embarrassing. 506 00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,840 Speaker 1: We're kind of a private person, so that was not 507 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,920 Speaker 1: something we would do. But let me just be clear, 508 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:51,120 Speaker 1: I'm not sure if I know anyone who has successfully 509 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:55,320 Speaker 1: been able to get themselves unstuck all by themselves. You 510 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,840 Speaker 1: need someone in your life who is a mature believer 511 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,760 Speaker 1: who can help you process these things and help you 512 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,640 Speaker 1: grow up. And if you don't have someone like that 513 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:07,480 Speaker 1: in your life, or if you just want someone who's 514 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:09,920 Speaker 1: outside of your circle, so it feels a little safer 515 00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:14,000 Speaker 1: to process your stuff with someone that doesn't really know 516 00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:17,120 Speaker 1: you or the people around you. I get that too, 517 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,240 Speaker 1: and I want to know we're here for you. In fact, 518 00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:24,920 Speaker 1: one thing we're offering now is Bible based coaching. It's 519 00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:27,920 Speaker 1: really called New Fetic counseling if you're not familiar with 520 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:31,280 Speaker 1: that term, but it's really just looking at scripture as 521 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:35,240 Speaker 1: the foundation for coaching around a number of issues body 522 00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:38,600 Speaker 1: image issues. But also we're offering coaching for issues beyond 523 00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:42,640 Speaker 1: body image, because like I said through this episode, it's 524 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:46,320 Speaker 1: always more than just the surface issue. You can find 525 00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:49,640 Speaker 1: more about that on our website improvebody image dot com. 526 00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:51,200 Speaker 1: You can go to work with me tab and look 527 00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:54,840 Speaker 1: for beyond body image. But if you need help, if 528 00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:57,640 Speaker 1: you're just looking for someone to talk to around these issues, 529 00:32:57,840 --> 00:32:59,880 Speaker 1: I hope you'll reach out, like go through the web 530 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,800 Speaker 1: site and we'd be honored to work with you. So 531 00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:04,560 Speaker 1: this is going to be the last new episode of 532 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:07,480 Speaker 1: the summer until August, but let me encourage you to 533 00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:09,760 Speaker 1: go back and listen to episodes you may have missed 534 00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:11,880 Speaker 1: this year. We're putting out almost one hundred episodes a year, 535 00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,680 Speaker 1: so there's a solid chance that you missed a few. 536 00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:17,440 Speaker 1: And we did this whole Waiting for Weight Loss series 537 00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:19,320 Speaker 1: in the spring, and that would be a great place 538 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,520 Speaker 1: to start. If you're new to the show and you're 539 00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,840 Speaker 1: hoping for weight loss or hoping that weight loss will 540 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:27,400 Speaker 1: help your body image issues, man, this will really reframe 541 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:30,960 Speaker 1: the way you are looking for weight loss to fix 542 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,080 Speaker 1: something that might be a spiritual issue. So go look 543 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:35,440 Speaker 1: for the Waiting for Weight Loss series that we did 544 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:38,400 Speaker 1: through Lent. Also, I have several Bible reading plans on 545 00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:41,680 Speaker 1: you version. I have one specifically for summer body image issues, 546 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:43,200 Speaker 1: so you can go check those out to put a 547 00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:45,520 Speaker 1: link to that in the show notes too. We want 548 00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:48,440 Speaker 1: to keep you supported the summer, but our team also 549 00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,640 Speaker 1: needs a break, so no, you don't have to struggle alone. 550 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:54,000 Speaker 1: We've got lots and lots of resources at improve body 551 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:57,360 Speaker 1: image dot com to help you. Also, one of the 552 00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:00,560 Speaker 1: best things you can do for healing journey is to 553 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:04,040 Speaker 1: start talking to people that are in your real life 554 00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:08,440 Speaker 1: about these issues. We've got to open these conversations with women. 555 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:10,719 Speaker 1: We've got to get real with each other. We've got 556 00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:14,480 Speaker 1: to be confessing our envy and our pride and holding 557 00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:17,799 Speaker 1: each other accountable and living different than the rest of 558 00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:21,719 Speaker 1: the world. We need to be women that are radically 559 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:26,480 Speaker 1: following Jesus's call in our lives, not distracted by what 560 00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:32,000 Speaker 1: the world says. It will give us life and joy. Now. 561 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,040 Speaker 1: I know not everyone in your life is ready to 562 00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:37,160 Speaker 1: go this deep. I get that right. I know there's 563 00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:39,560 Speaker 1: some women in your life that are just they only 564 00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:41,920 Speaker 1: want to talk about the latest night and the latest 565 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,880 Speaker 1: exercise thing, and they're just not not to a place 566 00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:48,040 Speaker 1: yet where you can have a deeper conversation here. But 567 00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,719 Speaker 1: let me encourage you. Don't write them off. Test the waters. 568 00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,880 Speaker 1: Send this to a friend or a couple friends, and 569 00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,520 Speaker 1: see who stops and listens, See who wants to talk 570 00:34:57,560 --> 00:35:00,160 Speaker 1: about it more. This could be a great way to 571 00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,680 Speaker 1: find a real friend, a true partner for you in 572 00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:06,160 Speaker 1: your real life, and you two can journey together towards 573 00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,520 Speaker 1: greater freedom around body image issues. I mean you you 574 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:10,480 Speaker 1: could even sign up together for the forty Day Journey 575 00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:12,640 Speaker 1: when we offer it next fall, or you can can 576 00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:14,719 Speaker 1: sign them now. But we've got lots of ways for 577 00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:18,000 Speaker 1: you to keep encouraging each other. So consider sharing this 578 00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:21,880 Speaker 1: and see who you can have a real conversation with 579 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:25,040 Speaker 1: about this content. That's the best way to process it. Again, 580 00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:28,960 Speaker 1: Body image healing is not a mind game. This is 581 00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:32,600 Speaker 1: something that you need. The Holy spirit to heal, and 582 00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:35,200 Speaker 1: you also need real people in your life to be 583 00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:39,480 Speaker 1: accountable to and talk through this stuff with. Hey, I'm 584 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:41,279 Speaker 1: so glad you listen today. I hope you are too. 585 00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:43,960 Speaker 1: That's all I have for today. I hope something today 586 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:47,919 Speaker 1: has helped you stop comparing and start living, and we'll 587 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:51,600 Speaker 1: see again in August. Vibe the Compared to You podcast 588 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,400 Speaker 1: is probably part of the Life Audio podcast Network. For 589 00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:56,640 Speaker 1: more great Christian podcasts, I hope you'll go to life 590 00:35:56,680 --> 00:36:00,239 Speaker 1: audio dot com. Hey, has this show blessed you? You 591 00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:02,719 Speaker 1: need more reviews? I mean, who doesn't you hear this 592 00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:06,600 Speaker 1: on other shows you listen to. But those reviews determine 593 00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:09,880 Speaker 1: how Apple shows episodes and how Spotify shows episodes to 594 00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,279 Speaker 1: other people. So if you would stop right now and 595 00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:14,880 Speaker 1: leave us a five star review, man, we'd appreciate it. 596 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:16,919 Speaker 1: Thanks for considering. We'll see you in the fall.