1 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:03,560 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,240 Speaker 2: Hey, hey, friend, tether Creek More here, thanks for listening 3 00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:08,039 Speaker 2: to the Compared To podcast. I hope you had a 4 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:12,040 Speaker 2: wonderful holiday. As we head into the new year, we're 5 00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:16,080 Speaker 2: going to tackle it straight on by talking about the 6 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:19,920 Speaker 2: things you're probably thinking about and feeling, which might be 7 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:25,400 Speaker 2: this desire to shrink. Yes, it's real, it's everywhere. And 8 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,760 Speaker 2: for the first couple of weeks of this new year, 9 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 2: including today's episode, I am featuring women who have been 10 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,199 Speaker 2: on a journey with us and you're can to hear 11 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:41,520 Speaker 2: their stories of healing after years of obsession, frustration, and bondage. 12 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 2: Starting with today's episode, my client Leslie shares her story. 13 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 2: She was part of a popular diet program for many 14 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:52,559 Speaker 2: years and she's broken free. She's changed the way she's 15 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 2: see things. I think you're going to really enjoy today's episode. Hey, 16 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,600 Speaker 2: I want to let you know about something free for you, 17 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 2: and that is a mini course called Obsessed to Blessed 18 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:07,399 Speaker 2: and it is absolutely free on the website right now, 19 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,480 Speaker 2: just for the first two weeks of January, because I 20 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:12,280 Speaker 2: want to give you something to do. I want to 21 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,200 Speaker 2: encourage you to find body image freedom this year and 22 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 2: making it absolutely free just for two weeks. So go 23 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:24,640 Speaker 2: to improvebody image dot com backslash obsessed, Dash too to 24 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:29,160 Speaker 2: Dash Blessed. That's improved body image dot Com backslash Obsessed 25 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 2: to Blessed. You can download the free mini cours has 26 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:36,120 Speaker 2: got three modules and it will set you on the 27 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 2: right path towards body image freedom. This year, we do 28 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 2: have another forty D Journey starting in January twentieth. I 29 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,240 Speaker 2: do expect it to fill up. So if you're interested 30 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 2: in jumping into the forty D Journey, grab your spot there. 31 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,520 Speaker 2: But most of all, just go get that free mini course. 32 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:55,919 Speaker 2: It's just my late Christmas gift to you obsessed Dash 33 00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:00,120 Speaker 2: to Dash blessed and improve body image dot com. And 34 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 2: if you spent the whole holiday season absessaying over your 35 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 2: body and what you wore to parties and what happened 36 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 2: when you saw family and feeling like man, this body 37 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 2: stuff never ends for me. Here's what I want you 38 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:17,400 Speaker 2: to do. Just go grab that mini course. Freedom is 39 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 2: possible for you, just like it was for Leslie. And 40 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,839 Speaker 2: that's what you're going to hear more of in today's show. 41 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:35,640 Speaker 2: Let's get to it. I am so excited to have 42 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:40,840 Speaker 2: a former client come back today. It's the week before 43 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 2: New Year's this is your last show of twenty twenty five, 44 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,960 Speaker 2: and I thought the best way for us to end 45 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:51,079 Speaker 2: the year, as we're all thinking about next year and 46 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 2: what we're going to do different next year, I thought 47 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 2: that best way for us to end the year would 48 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:59,040 Speaker 2: be for you to hear from a real woman, a 49 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:03,760 Speaker 2: real person with a real story, who a couple years 50 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 2: ago her journey began. I mean, you know, we have 51 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:09,000 Speaker 2: all been on journeys for a long time, right, so 52 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 2: began away before that. All right, But my guest today 53 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:18,200 Speaker 2: is my former client, Leslie, and we're going to talk 54 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:21,240 Speaker 2: about the work that God has done to change and 55 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,079 Speaker 2: I'm going to say transform her life. And so, friend, 56 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,080 Speaker 2: if you are like I need a transformation, that's what 57 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:30,679 Speaker 2: I want twenty twenty six. That's my transformation year. I mean, 58 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 2: you know we all hear it everywhere. The kind of 59 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:38,640 Speaker 2: transformation that Leslie has had, Oh is the beautiful kind 60 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 2: that can't be replicated by just starting a new plan 61 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 2: or spending more time in the gym. And so I'm 62 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 2: excited for you to hear her story. Leslie. Welcome to 63 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,080 Speaker 2: the Compared To Podcasts. 64 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:54,760 Speaker 1: Thank you Heather, I'm so happy and humbled to be here. Oh. 65 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:58,960 Speaker 2: I have had just so much fun working with you 66 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 2: over the last well it's been a while, but a 67 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:05,440 Speaker 2: couple of years ago was when I first got connected 68 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:09,120 Speaker 2: to you, and when you signed up, you proudly had 69 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 2: your profession stated as someone who was working in the 70 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:18,920 Speaker 2: health and wellness world, and you were doing all things right. 71 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 2: I remember our first call, Leslie. You remember you telling 72 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 2: me how you're like I track everything, and I almost 73 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,039 Speaker 2: think you wanted me to be like, good for you, 74 00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:33,720 Speaker 2: that's awesome. I probably probably was just like, okay, good, great, 75 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 2: But that's just kind of a symbol of like who 76 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:43,360 Speaker 2: you were before a few years back, when I first 77 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,920 Speaker 2: had our first conversation, And I would love to just 78 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:52,560 Speaker 2: hear who did Leslie used to be? Right, Like, what 79 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 2: was your life like before you went on this crazy 80 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,720 Speaker 2: body image freedom journey that you probably would say you 81 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:03,480 Speaker 2: didn't even though you needed or wanted, right, Oh. 82 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, oh absolutely, I had no idea how much I 83 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:12,120 Speaker 1: desperately needed this journey. I'll give a little backstory leading 84 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:15,599 Speaker 1: into you know why I connected with you, But years 85 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 1: before that, I really can remember struggling with body image 86 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 1: issues and thinking I was bigger boned than the other 87 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:27,719 Speaker 1: girls my age since I was in grade school. I 88 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,240 Speaker 1: was a gymnast in grade school, and I just in 89 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 1: my mind thought it was a bad thing to weigh more, 90 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,359 Speaker 1: or have more muscle on your body, or be bigger boned. 91 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,480 Speaker 1: Even though no one told me that, I was convinced 92 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:43,120 Speaker 1: of my truth in this area. And I can even 93 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 1: remember in grade school there were times where I would 94 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,800 Speaker 1: be at a family function and I would eat so 95 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,600 Speaker 1: much and I said to myself, tomorrow, Leslie, you cannot 96 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 1: eat because you are enjoying yourself so much today that 97 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:58,960 Speaker 1: tomorrow you need to just fast. And that was like 98 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,159 Speaker 1: in grade school. I know one was telling me to 99 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:07,080 Speaker 1: do that, but fortunately, because I hate being hungry, I 100 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 1: did not follow through with those great intentions to fast 101 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 1: the next day. However, I can assure you I restricted 102 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 1: in some way mentally and physically, and so that pattern 103 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:23,600 Speaker 1: continued throughout my life. I was obsessed with the scale. 104 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:28,200 Speaker 1: I attached my worth and identity to that number, and 105 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: quite honestly, whatever the number was dictated my mood for 106 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:37,359 Speaker 1: the day. And I really can look back at different 107 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:40,160 Speaker 1: times in my life where I had these like what 108 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 1: I call body image flare ups where I was especially 109 00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:46,120 Speaker 1: uncomfortable in my skin, and I tried to control that 110 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:54,160 Speaker 1: by restricting. I didn't ever consistently restrict until I was 111 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 1: out of college and I was working as a physical 112 00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 1: therapist and personal trainer, and the people coming to me 113 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,880 Speaker 1: were interested in weight loss, and so my boss. Now 114 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,320 Speaker 1: I didn't have a degree in nutrition or weight loss. 115 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:10,680 Speaker 1: My degree was in physical therapy, but my boss educated 116 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:15,119 Speaker 1: me on the science, the quote unquote science behind fat loss. 117 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 1: So I started talking to my clients about that, and 118 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:23,040 Speaker 1: I thought, well, I better do what I'm suggesting to them. 119 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 1: And at the same time, my boss made the comment 120 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,680 Speaker 1: that I will never forget. He said, you will be 121 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 1: you would be really lean at blank and he gave 122 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 1: me a number. Well, that was about twenty pounds less 123 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:37,480 Speaker 1: than I currently was, So in my mind, he's basically saying, 124 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:42,080 Speaker 1: you need to lose weight. So I decided to do that, 125 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:45,800 Speaker 1: and I went on a journey to tracking every morsel 126 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,240 Speaker 1: of food that went in my mouth. I tried to 127 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,920 Speaker 1: maintain a certain calorie amount for the day. Very rarely 128 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 1: was I able to do that, but I was essentially restricting, 129 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 1: and over time, my body started shrinking, and although I 130 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:03,160 Speaker 1: got positive comments from some people, oh you look so good, 131 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 1: which was ultimately not healthy for my mindset at the time, 132 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 1: I now realize I also had some friends approach me 133 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 1: and were concerned that it had become a problem Eventually. 134 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,760 Speaker 1: At that time in my life, I was, I don't know, 135 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:21,160 Speaker 1: twenty twenty one. I was living by myself in a 136 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:24,200 Speaker 1: condo on the fifth floor, and so the garbage chute 137 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,640 Speaker 1: was outside of my condo and I had to put 138 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: my garbage down this chute. And I came to the 139 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,440 Speaker 1: point where I was willing to let go of those 140 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:35,840 Speaker 1: darn food journals, and I put them down the garbage chute, 141 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 1: never to be retrieved again. I experienced a period of freedom, 142 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 1: and as I got engaged to my husband Tom, and 143 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 1: as we were approaching our wedding, I really felt like 144 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,760 Speaker 1: the Lord was like, do not weigh yourself, do not 145 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:53,400 Speaker 1: try to lose weight for your wedding. Unlike most brides, 146 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 1: and so I stuck to that. I did not weigh myself. 147 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 1: I did not actively restrict I did not try to 148 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,760 Speaker 1: lose weight for my wedding. And I'm so thankful for 149 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,280 Speaker 1: that now because I think if I knew that number. 150 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:08,000 Speaker 1: It could either be a place of pride for me, 151 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,240 Speaker 1: like oh, look I'm still at my wedding weight, or 152 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 1: shame like, look, I'm x amount eppier than my wedding weight. 153 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 1: So I'm actually so relieved. I don't know that number. 154 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:23,840 Speaker 1: But anyway, I went on to just over the next 155 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:27,600 Speaker 1: fifteen years have different times where I struggled more with 156 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:31,320 Speaker 1: my body image. I did get diagnosed with hashimotos in 157 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:34,360 Speaker 1: two thousand and four, and then in two thousand and five, 158 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,040 Speaker 1: my husband and I started to grow our family and 159 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:41,760 Speaker 1: we went on to have four kids, and obviously my 160 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:46,280 Speaker 1: body changed with pregnancy and after pregnancy and all the things. 161 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:52,920 Speaker 1: And so in twenty nineteen is when I was introduced 162 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:56,520 Speaker 1: to a program by a friend of mine because again 163 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:59,320 Speaker 1: I had become uncomfortable in my skin. I wanted to 164 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 1: lose some weight. I also wanted to gain energy. I 165 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,320 Speaker 1: was tired all the time, and so both of those 166 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,959 Speaker 1: things happened. I lost weight, I gained energy with this program, 167 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:11,600 Speaker 1: and I thought, Wow, my health is actually improving, Like 168 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 1: I need to help other people with this. And at 169 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 1: that time it was like the perfect timing because now 170 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 1: my four kids were in school, I had stayed home 171 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 1: while they were growing up, and I just thought this 172 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:26,000 Speaker 1: would be a great thing to get into. So I, 173 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:29,520 Speaker 1: in my personality, I went all in and it became 174 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:32,920 Speaker 1: a full time job. So I started coaching clients and 175 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,760 Speaker 1: I did that for five years, and over the course 176 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:41,440 Speaker 1: of that time, my weight started to slowly creep up. 177 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:44,640 Speaker 1: And now I'm approaching my mid to late forties, and 178 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:49,040 Speaker 1: that's natural to happen, but in my world, that was horrible, 179 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: and so I was when I reached out to you. 180 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:59,080 Speaker 1: What had happened was a family member was struggling with 181 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:03,600 Speaker 1: their body image and I wanted to help them. So 182 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:07,079 Speaker 1: I googled Christian Body Image Coach and your name popped up. 183 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:12,920 Speaker 1: So I signed up for your newsletter, and honestly, like 184 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,440 Speaker 1: things kind of fizzled down with this family member. Life 185 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:19,199 Speaker 1: got busy. I went on with my life, never contacted you, 186 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 1: never knew you wrote all these books, never knew you 187 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 1: had a podcast. Nothing. Then at the end of August 188 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:29,160 Speaker 1: two years ago, in twenty twenty three, I was just 189 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:32,960 Speaker 1: really really striving and chasing after a number on the scale, 190 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:37,640 Speaker 1: and I just thought it wasn't like crazy, but I 191 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:42,080 Speaker 1: was consumed with this but it wasn't working and I 192 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 1: was not having peace about it. It was consuming all 193 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:48,280 Speaker 1: my thoughts and my time. And one day I got 194 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:53,560 Speaker 1: an email from you basically sharing about your new class 195 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:56,760 Speaker 1: that would be coming up that fall, Body Image Freedom 196 00:11:56,800 --> 00:12:02,440 Speaker 1: Framework course, and something in my spirit was drawn to it. 197 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,640 Speaker 1: I honestly believe the Holy Spirit was drawing me to 198 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 1: take your class because I knew the route I was 199 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:10,880 Speaker 1: on was not working and it was not leading to freedom. 200 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:15,840 Speaker 1: And so, in fact, I had been convinced for so 201 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,960 Speaker 1: long that once I reached that goal weight, I would 202 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:23,319 Speaker 1: have peace, I would have contentment, I would have freedom. 203 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,840 Speaker 1: But that's not what happened. Like the target kept moving 204 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:32,319 Speaker 1: and I started becoming discontent in other areas in thinking 205 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,559 Speaker 1: I needed to perfect other areas of my outside appearance 206 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:40,600 Speaker 1: of my life. And so when your email came in 207 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,240 Speaker 1: my inbox, I just as I said, my spirit was 208 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 1: drawn to it. And I talked to my sweet husband 209 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 1: about it, and he was just so supportive. I can 210 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,360 Speaker 1: still remember where we were on a walk when I 211 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,280 Speaker 1: talked to him about wanting to take this class, and 212 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,599 Speaker 1: he just stopped in his tracks and he said, Leslie, 213 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,680 Speaker 1: I've seen you struggle with this our whole married life 214 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:01,520 Speaker 1: since I've known you. Do you think I'm not going 215 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,520 Speaker 1: to support you and something that could lead you to 216 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:10,280 Speaker 1: greater freedom? And it just He's so sweet and support 217 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,480 Speaker 1: him and he always has been. But I decided, Okay, 218 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:16,280 Speaker 1: I'm going to sign up not knowing anything about you 219 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,199 Speaker 1: or the class or anything. 220 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, And so that was the funny thing on my side, 221 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 2: I'm like, do you even know what you signed up for? 222 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:32,200 Speaker 2: That was so funny, right, right? 223 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,640 Speaker 1: And I didn't. But I knew what I was doing 224 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:37,640 Speaker 1: was not working for me. I knew I needed a 225 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:43,520 Speaker 1: completely different way. And so let's just say, starting Your 226 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:52,400 Speaker 1: Class rocked my world in every way possible. I realized, 227 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:58,120 Speaker 1: I clearly realized for the first time how much I 228 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 1: had been living and sin as far as body image, 229 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:06,760 Speaker 1: idolatry goes. I had been a Christian for since college. 230 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,480 Speaker 1: I became a Christian my freshman year in college when 231 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:13,520 Speaker 1: I was eighteen, And although I had surrendered so many 232 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:18,600 Speaker 1: areas of my life, this was one area that I 233 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:22,000 Speaker 1: needed to be in control of. And I didn't even 234 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:28,040 Speaker 1: know how much I was enslaved until I took Your 235 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:33,200 Speaker 1: Class and until I started letting go and surrendering, and 236 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:39,320 Speaker 1: so yeah, it rocked my world. I think of the 237 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:42,480 Speaker 1: verse John nine twenty five that says one thing I 238 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:45,280 Speaker 1: do know. I was blind, but now I see it, 239 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,480 Speaker 1: and I knew I had an issue with it, but 240 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 1: I was blind to the extent of it. And as 241 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:56,560 Speaker 1: I've been on this journey now for two years, I 242 00:14:57,120 --> 00:15:02,680 Speaker 1: can see clearly how immersed I was in wanting to 243 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:06,280 Speaker 1: change my body and how it was so connected to 244 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:11,480 Speaker 1: my identity. Yeah, and so it's been it's been a 245 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:15,720 Speaker 1: really messy journey, but a really necessary one for me 246 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:17,640 Speaker 1: to go through to be where I am. 247 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh, thank you for sharing all that. Yeah, and 248 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:32,560 Speaker 2: I mean it is messy, but I just I'm wondering 249 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:38,080 Speaker 2: if you could speak to just the gentleness of God 250 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:42,160 Speaker 2: in the mess, right, because so you know, for those 251 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,680 Speaker 2: who don't actually know how the course worked, right, So 252 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,880 Speaker 2: what happens? Leslie signed up? I think you signed up 253 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,320 Speaker 2: for Did we did twelve weeks? That's time we've tried. 254 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,920 Speaker 1: A bunch of different ways. Twelve weeks, I think we did. 255 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 2: I think we did twelve weeks. And so you watched 256 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:02,640 Speaker 2: the video of the online class, the Body Image Freedom 257 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:04,840 Speaker 2: Framework online class, and that's available, you can like sign 258 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,480 Speaker 2: up and do that on your own. But the way 259 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:09,200 Speaker 2: Leslie did it is I think the preferred way. So 260 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:12,480 Speaker 2: you would watch a video and there's some homework to do, 261 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,440 Speaker 2: journaling exercises, some sermons to listen to, some podcasts to 262 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,280 Speaker 2: listen to, and then we come back together and you 263 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:20,920 Speaker 2: had I don't know, maybe four or five people in 264 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 2: your group, and we had a small group discussion once 265 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 2: a week. But then in between those small group discussions, 266 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:33,000 Speaker 2: we used Voxer, the voice messaging app, And so if 267 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,600 Speaker 2: you had a question or you're like Heather, I'm just 268 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:37,360 Speaker 2: like really stuck with this, then I don't know what 269 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,200 Speaker 2: to do with this. Then we would just go back 270 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:42,320 Speaker 2: and forth. You know, we went back and forth a lot. 271 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:42,920 Speaker 1: Oh we did. 272 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,760 Speaker 2: But so that's kind of what it looked like for 273 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:50,080 Speaker 2: you with me, for those couple of mens that we 274 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,760 Speaker 2: were together. But I just, you know, I think it's 275 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,360 Speaker 2: scary for people to think about, right, Like, oh goodness, Leslie, 276 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,880 Speaker 2: you're saying like you were convicted of sin and you 277 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:05,560 Speaker 2: changed your ways. Like I feel like that sounds like 278 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,639 Speaker 2: a really frightening thing to go through. Can you speak 279 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:12,840 Speaker 2: to like God's gentleness in that process and maybe my 280 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:16,680 Speaker 2: gentleness too, I don't know, But like, was it overwhelming? 281 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,359 Speaker 2: Was it a fearful experience? Yes? 282 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:24,159 Speaker 1: Yes, because I was entering a path that I didn't 283 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:27,359 Speaker 1: It was foreign to me. You know, I was entering 284 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,480 Speaker 1: this path that would lead to freedom, but I didn't 285 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,119 Speaker 1: know for sure if it would lead to freedom, and 286 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 1: I was fearful of gaining weight, to be honest, and 287 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:40,080 Speaker 1: I was. I was convinced freedom could not exist if 288 00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:43,880 Speaker 1: I didn't stay in the same size spot like that was. 289 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,760 Speaker 1: I was totally convinced of that, and so to let 290 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:49,960 Speaker 1: go of controlling my food and taking all that was 291 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,439 Speaker 1: a huge thing for me. But no, you were so 292 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,960 Speaker 1: patient with me, and I now that I'm on the 293 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,479 Speaker 1: other side of it, I can only imagine all the 294 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,440 Speaker 1: thoughts you were having that you kept to yourself as 295 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:05,240 Speaker 1: I was like sharing some of my belief system or 296 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:10,320 Speaker 1: my mindset and things like that. God was so gracious 297 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:12,920 Speaker 1: and gentle with me, and he still is through this 298 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:17,919 Speaker 1: messy journey of recovery. You know, he doesn't force us 299 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:22,719 Speaker 1: to do anything, He just invites us. Yeah, and then 300 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:24,960 Speaker 1: he's with us as we go through the mess and 301 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 1: the scary and this journey that I began, it had 302 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:36,400 Speaker 1: it had a lot of challenge, it had a lot 303 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:43,760 Speaker 1: of tears, It had joy, it had empowerment, and it 304 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:47,840 Speaker 1: had all the levels of grief that that we that 305 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:51,920 Speaker 1: I now know about. So those are denial. You know. 306 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,360 Speaker 1: When I came into this, I was in denial as 307 00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:59,200 Speaker 1: to how severe my issue was. And then comes anger, 308 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:04,440 Speaker 1: and there bargaining sadness, and then acceptance. And it doesn't 309 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:08,679 Speaker 1: always go in that order, of course, but coming to 310 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:12,439 Speaker 1: a place of acceptance is where the freedom comes. I 311 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:16,199 Speaker 1: feel and I can say I'm finally there. Not that 312 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:19,719 Speaker 1: I won't revert back to these other stages at times, 313 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:25,080 Speaker 1: but in general, I'm living in a space of acceptance 314 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:32,040 Speaker 1: the way God made my body, and really i've I 315 00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:36,439 Speaker 1: had my identity. My identity was misplaced before. It was 316 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:43,159 Speaker 1: too attached to this number, this look, And you know, 317 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:47,639 Speaker 1: I had to learn that it wasn't realistic for me 318 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:51,919 Speaker 1: to become free and still be in the body I 319 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,400 Speaker 1: was in before because I was restricting for so many years. 320 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,280 Speaker 1: If I were to become free and not obsess about 321 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,679 Speaker 1: food and the skin and all that, I had to 322 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:05,680 Speaker 1: give myself more grace and more freedom to have more 323 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:08,000 Speaker 1: than my body had been used to for so long, 324 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:14,000 Speaker 1: and so that was really hard. Initially, I can remember 325 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,480 Speaker 1: kind of it felt traumatic to me, but having a 326 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,159 Speaker 1: dressing room experience that I'm pretty sure I talked to 327 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:25,400 Speaker 1: you about. Afterwards, I tried on some clothes at old 328 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:27,720 Speaker 1: maybe with my daughter, well she was adult, maybe with me, 329 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:33,760 Speaker 1: but I was in tears, like it was so hard. 330 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:38,480 Speaker 1: I felt like almost like I was hyperventilating, like clusterphobic, 331 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,879 Speaker 1: like get me out of here, I'm not safe. It 332 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,359 Speaker 1: was awful. My daughter and I were supposed to spend 333 00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:46,119 Speaker 1: the day together and go out to lunch and go 334 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,359 Speaker 1: on a walk, and I couldn't do it. I had 335 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,520 Speaker 1: to tell her. And I've been honest with her about 336 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,840 Speaker 1: my journey, I've been honest with my kids, but I 337 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,000 Speaker 1: had to tell her, no, I'm so sorry. I have 338 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 1: to go home. I have to journal and process all 339 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,879 Speaker 1: of this. And she was very gracious and we were 340 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,720 Speaker 1: able to reschedule our time together. But that was like 341 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:09,960 Speaker 1: so hard for me. And then just three short weeks later, 342 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:14,080 Speaker 1: I had like a very victorious experience where I was 343 00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:17,919 Speaker 1: at the pool with my kids and we had so 344 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:21,800 Speaker 1: much fun together and they were dunking me and splashing. 345 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:23,800 Speaker 1: We were going down water slides together. I was like 346 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:26,280 Speaker 1: a little kid, and like two hours into it, it 347 00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 1: dawned on me, Oh my goodness, I haven't thought once 348 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:33,920 Speaker 1: about my body and I just it was. It was amazing. 349 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:38,520 Speaker 1: So lots of like highs and lows in this in 350 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:45,280 Speaker 1: this journey, but I think for me, you know, inviting 351 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:48,080 Speaker 1: God into this area of my life that I had 352 00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:55,280 Speaker 1: not really knowingly kept closed from him, my whole walk 353 00:21:55,320 --> 00:22:00,000 Speaker 1: with him, inviting him into that has been huge because 354 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:04,240 Speaker 1: we like I've trusted him with an area I was 355 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:08,760 Speaker 1: holding so tightly onto and I can see now being 356 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,800 Speaker 1: on the other side like he walked through that with me. 357 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:17,120 Speaker 1: He's trustworthy. It's okay. I'm still alive. I'm more joyful 358 00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:19,600 Speaker 1: than ever. I'm more present with my family than ever. 359 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:26,000 Speaker 1: And it's like the prize of getting free from food 360 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,520 Speaker 1: and body image issues that that's not just like the 361 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:32,959 Speaker 1: only prize I'm seeking, Like the prize has been being 362 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:37,080 Speaker 1: fully available to be used by God with the gifts 363 00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:39,960 Speaker 1: he's given me and the story he's currently writing, and 364 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:43,240 Speaker 1: that's what I'm living in right now, Like, Okay, Lord, 365 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:48,880 Speaker 1: how do you want to use my story to bless others, 366 00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:54,240 Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, so yeah, like when we so we 367 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:58,439 Speaker 1: met privately several times, we had several sessions, and at 368 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:03,160 Speaker 1: one point you had said, very graciously, you know, Leslie, 369 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:07,240 Speaker 1: you might benefit from meeting with a dietitian, and so 370 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:11,159 Speaker 1: you referred me to your friend. And she's a Christian 371 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:15,440 Speaker 1: dietitian that specializes in eating disorders and disordered eating and all. 372 00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:17,800 Speaker 2: Those things, and so and wait, let me pause a second, though, 373 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,600 Speaker 2: let me pause. Did you think you had an eating 374 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,320 Speaker 2: disorder coming into this? 375 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:23,760 Speaker 1: Oh? 376 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,359 Speaker 2: And I heard you use the word recovery, and I 377 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,679 Speaker 2: was thinking we need to leap back to that, because like, 378 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,000 Speaker 2: did you know that you had anything to recover from? 379 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:34,080 Speaker 1: No? No, no, not so. 380 00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,439 Speaker 2: So I don't want to interrupt. I referred you to 381 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,680 Speaker 2: a me and I remember, well, I'll say the funny 382 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:40,800 Speaker 2: part because I was like, maybe you could do a 383 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,360 Speaker 2: session or two, and I'm thinking she probably needs more 384 00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 2: than a session or two, but you were willing to 385 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:47,640 Speaker 2: be like, Okay, maybe I do a session or two. 386 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:51,520 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, right, right. Well, then when I started seeing her, 387 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:53,960 Speaker 1: it was most of my sessions were in twenty twenty 388 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:57,000 Speaker 1: four with her, but it ended up being twenty five 389 00:23:57,080 --> 00:24:01,080 Speaker 1: sessions and that just too you know, after a couple 390 00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:04,199 Speaker 1: of sessions, she was like, Yeah, you're going to need 391 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,200 Speaker 1: to be in my off you need to be here, 392 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:08,720 Speaker 1: and it's going to be more than a few sessions, 393 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,280 Speaker 1: you know. She just kind of graciously said that. But 394 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:17,280 Speaker 1: when she talked about recovery, she defined it as recovering 395 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:18,160 Speaker 1: your life in Christ. 396 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,960 Speaker 2: Hmm. She's good. 397 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:23,680 Speaker 1: She is so good, you know, And I just thought 398 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:27,720 Speaker 1: that was really really helpful to think of it that way. Yeah, 399 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:33,080 Speaker 1: And another thing I was kind of in denial in 400 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,480 Speaker 1: was the fact that anytime I've tried, like any kind 401 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:41,360 Speaker 1: of program, whether it was the program coaching or counting 402 00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:44,439 Speaker 1: calories or there was a season where I did weight Watchers, 403 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,640 Speaker 1: like whatever the program was that I was trying to do, 404 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:50,840 Speaker 1: I could never stick to it like like it was recommended. 405 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:55,280 Speaker 1: So I in my mind, I thought, oh, well, I 406 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,040 Speaker 1: don't have an issue because I can never do the 407 00:24:57,080 --> 00:25:00,159 Speaker 1: program that the way they recommend it. You know, I 408 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,320 Speaker 1: was still restricting. It just wasn't to the extent of 409 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:07,160 Speaker 1: being recommended. And so because again I hate being hungry, 410 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:12,920 Speaker 1: and so Amy said to me, well, a that probably 411 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:16,679 Speaker 1: protected you from having a full blown eating disc Yeah, 412 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:20,880 Speaker 1: and b just because you can't you haven't been able 413 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:22,879 Speaker 1: to follow the program to a t like you wanted to, 414 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:26,120 Speaker 1: whatever program it was, it does not make you any 415 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:31,800 Speaker 1: less of a restricter. And that was like, whoa what 416 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:35,280 Speaker 1: what did you just say? You know, So she was 417 00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:40,760 Speaker 1: really helpful at helping me to come to grips with 418 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:44,520 Speaker 1: my reality in a very you know, amy, in a 419 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:49,520 Speaker 1: very gentle way. So that was that was good, but 420 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:55,400 Speaker 1: it was hard. And eventually, as I mentioned, I was 421 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:58,399 Speaker 1: I was coaching for this program, and there were just 422 00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:02,320 Speaker 1: so many things I am joyed about it, but I 423 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:06,840 Speaker 1: eventually came to the conclusion that I could no longer 424 00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:11,040 Speaker 1: move forward in my healing journey, my recovery and be 425 00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:16,880 Speaker 1: fully recovered and also be coaching others in their journeys 426 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:20,360 Speaker 1: which often involved weight loss. I was on a completely 427 00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:24,040 Speaker 1: different path now, and so eventually I had to make 428 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:28,280 Speaker 1: that very difficult decision to step away from that. Yeah, 429 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,720 Speaker 1: but yeah, that was that was very hard. As I've said, 430 00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,119 Speaker 1: there were many things I did enjoy about it, but 431 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:39,240 Speaker 1: I needed to do that for my own healing journey. 432 00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:42,639 Speaker 2: Yeah, and you gave up income to do that as well. Yeah, right, 433 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,760 Speaker 2: I mean That's how serious of a decision it was 434 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:48,119 Speaker 2: for you, right right. I think that's significant. Yeah, you 435 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:50,840 Speaker 2: know that that was you had, like you had to 436 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:52,800 Speaker 2: make a big sacrifice. 437 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:55,680 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. A lot of prayer and thought went into it. 438 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,640 Speaker 1: And and now that I'm kind of on the other 439 00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:02,040 Speaker 1: side of it, I do see the Little Lord definitely 440 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:05,200 Speaker 1: needed me to do that in order to be where 441 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:11,560 Speaker 1: I am today. And it's interesting because I resigned from 442 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:15,359 Speaker 1: my position in October of twenty twenty four, and then 443 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,440 Speaker 1: about a month and I was feeling freedom on my 444 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:22,399 Speaker 1: journey for sure, and then about a month later, my 445 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:26,040 Speaker 1: world kind of turned upside down with some various circumstances 446 00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:30,399 Speaker 1: going on in my family. And so for the next 447 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:34,719 Speaker 1: several months, it was really really difficult and chaotic in 448 00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:39,280 Speaker 1: my world. And I know I had heard that like, oh, yeah, 449 00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:43,600 Speaker 1: when you're stressed, that's when you're eating disorder, those behaviors 450 00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,399 Speaker 1: can kind of wear up, but I never really like 451 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:50,159 Speaker 1: knew if that was the case for me until I 452 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:57,640 Speaker 1: was living in this chaos. And my weight hadn't changed much, 453 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,080 Speaker 1: not because I was weighing myself, but I had to 454 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:04,560 Speaker 1: give blood and so I found out, so my weight 455 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:08,560 Speaker 1: hadn't changed much during this crazy time, but all of 456 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:11,159 Speaker 1: a sudden my mind was like, I need to go 457 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,919 Speaker 1: back to my old waist. I need to restrict, I 458 00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:17,080 Speaker 1: need to do the things I used to do. However, 459 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,320 Speaker 1: it was a little bit different. I was now bargaining 460 00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:23,560 Speaker 1: instead of like I knew that I couldn't go back 461 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,119 Speaker 1: and restrict like I had been, but I still wanted 462 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:30,399 Speaker 1: to restrict to some extent, but in a more gentle 463 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:35,359 Speaker 1: way maybe. And so my son, just like your son, 464 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:39,840 Speaker 1: my son was graduating in June of this year, and 465 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:44,160 Speaker 1: so in February I started thinking like, oh, if I restrict, 466 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,920 Speaker 1: I literally was like calculating, even like I do this, 467 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:52,560 Speaker 1: then by June, maybe I'll be down ten pounds, fifteen pounds, 468 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:56,720 Speaker 1: Like that's doable, that's not super you know whatever. And 469 00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,360 Speaker 1: by the grace of God, I never followed through it. 470 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:03,280 Speaker 1: But I had lots of thoughts to do that. And 471 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:07,160 Speaker 1: then came. Then graduation comes, and I wanted to look 472 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:10,160 Speaker 1: at in the pictures. You know, that was partly my mindset, 473 00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,320 Speaker 1: and I'm sure I know it was much deeper than that, 474 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:18,040 Speaker 1: but I never followed through with it. Graduation came and 475 00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:20,760 Speaker 1: I was actually talking to Amy, my dietitian, about it, 476 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:24,920 Speaker 1: like a week after graduation, and she said, well, what 477 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:26,360 Speaker 1: do you think. What do you think when you look 478 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:32,240 Speaker 1: at those graduation pictures? And I said, well, I look 479 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:36,160 Speaker 1: at that girl not with the thought of oh, she 480 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,040 Speaker 1: needs to lose weight, but with a lot of grace 481 00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:43,800 Speaker 1: and compassion and kindness because I knew the year that 482 00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:48,480 Speaker 1: she had had and she didn't numb, she didn't restrict, 483 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:53,320 Speaker 1: she used her tools, she felt all the feels she 484 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:55,880 Speaker 1: can get at a lot of tears, and she stayed 485 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:59,200 Speaker 1: in community with people who understood and she could be 486 00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:05,040 Speaker 1: honest with And to me, that was so much progress 487 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,320 Speaker 1: from two years ago. Yeah. 488 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:14,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, when we when things are out of control, we 489 00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,320 Speaker 2: want to control whatever we can. And I mean I've 490 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:20,400 Speaker 2: done the same thing, Leslie. It's like, oh, I won't 491 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,360 Speaker 2: control as much as I used to control. I'll just 492 00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:23,800 Speaker 2: control like a little bit. 493 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:25,240 Speaker 1: You know. 494 00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:32,520 Speaker 2: It totally is bargaining. Yeah, I get it, I get it. Yeah, 495 00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:37,680 Speaker 2: so things got a little bit, I guess more back 496 00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:42,720 Speaker 2: to a steady state in your home life. Yes, what's 497 00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:47,600 Speaker 2: the last you know? Several months been like oh I. 498 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:50,840 Speaker 1: Felt so much freedom. I felt so much freedom and 499 00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:55,239 Speaker 1: even like preparing for today. In our conversation, I've been 500 00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:59,400 Speaker 1: looking back at old journals and it's just it's so 501 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:02,280 Speaker 1: encouraged in so many ways to see where I've come, 502 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:06,240 Speaker 1: you know, over the last two years. And it's also 503 00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:08,880 Speaker 1: sad in some ways to know where I was, But 504 00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,680 Speaker 1: it's okay, It's God new I'd have to walk through 505 00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:17,040 Speaker 1: this in order to be where I am today. I 506 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:21,400 Speaker 1: will say, my belief system has changed so much, and 507 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:26,640 Speaker 1: it's amazing how once that happened, Like my behavior has changed, and. 508 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:29,840 Speaker 2: So can you speak to any of those beliefs. 509 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:34,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I don't look at food, I don't attach 510 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:41,840 Speaker 1: morality to food any longer. I clearly we all know 511 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,840 Speaker 1: some foods are more nutritious than others, but there's no 512 00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:49,320 Speaker 1: like shame attached to ice cream or cookies, Like if 513 00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,000 Speaker 1: I decide to have that, it's fine, you know. And 514 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:56,920 Speaker 1: it's been so interesting because prior to starting this journey, 515 00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,440 Speaker 1: I used to think I was convinced I was. 516 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,920 Speaker 2: A sugar added Oh I know, I remember this conversation. 517 00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, I was convinced of it because there were certain 518 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:10,560 Speaker 1: things I fell out of control with. But when I 519 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,840 Speaker 1: look back at all the times I fell out of control. 520 00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:17,400 Speaker 1: It was either because I did like a long stretch 521 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:21,200 Speaker 1: of no sugar, like a sugarfast, and then once that 522 00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,239 Speaker 1: time period ended, like I know, I gave it up 523 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:26,680 Speaker 1: for lent. Even in college, I went nuts on jelly beans, 524 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:30,000 Speaker 1: I went not on the cakes and whatever because now 525 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:35,400 Speaker 1: that period was over. Or if I'm restricting throughout the day, 526 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:37,560 Speaker 1: that comes a point in time in my day that 527 00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:40,040 Speaker 1: my body can no longer go without food, and then 528 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:43,840 Speaker 1: I felt out of control, like, oh my goodness, I'm binging. 529 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,120 Speaker 1: I have a problem with binging. No, that wasn't That 530 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:48,760 Speaker 1: wasn't my story. It was that I was restricting and 531 00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:52,400 Speaker 1: my body needed to restore itself. And so now that 532 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:56,000 Speaker 1: I'm no longer restricting, I have to be honest. I 533 00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:59,720 Speaker 1: never feel out of control with food. Sugar's not bad. 534 00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:01,800 Speaker 1: I can have it if I want. I don't have 535 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:05,760 Speaker 1: it every day, right, you know, it's not a big deal. 536 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:07,960 Speaker 1: And if I have a cookie, it's usually one or 537 00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:10,840 Speaker 1: two cookies. It doesn't lead to a bunch because I 538 00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:12,520 Speaker 1: could have it later if I well, like, it's not 539 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:13,640 Speaker 1: a big deal. 540 00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:15,680 Speaker 2: Anymore, right, isn't it so surprising? 541 00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:15,960 Speaker 1: Though? 542 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:20,400 Speaker 2: Yeah? Are you kind of in shock that it's that way. Yes, yeah, 543 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,800 Speaker 2: I mean, I mean I'm still in shock because I'll 544 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:28,360 Speaker 2: be like, huh, I forgot that we even had that, 545 00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:31,920 Speaker 2: you know, those cookies or that candy or I mean 546 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:34,440 Speaker 2: Halloween candy. Yeah, you know, we just had that out 547 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:38,400 Speaker 2: a couple of months ago. It's like, oh, that's fine, right, 548 00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:40,160 Speaker 2: I like that one. Maybe I'll have one of those. 549 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,120 Speaker 2: But before it would have been like I buy the 550 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,479 Speaker 2: kind I didn't like, and then I would still eat them, 551 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:49,520 Speaker 2: all right, So it is, it is shocking. And you know, 552 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,920 Speaker 2: you said it as the belief system of not assigning 553 00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:56,680 Speaker 2: moral value to food, but it is shocking how just 554 00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,400 Speaker 2: having a different belief system and then you know, and 555 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:02,400 Speaker 2: then of course you had to work with Amy around 556 00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:05,880 Speaker 2: like some behaviors after that belief system of just really 557 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:09,719 Speaker 2: to free yourself from restricting. But it is shocking how 558 00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:12,120 Speaker 2: it works, doesn't It is? 559 00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:15,960 Speaker 1: It is and the whole idea that like food is 560 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:19,400 Speaker 1: not just fuel, that it's meant to be enjoyed, Like 561 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:21,640 Speaker 1: that's kind that was kind of my mindset before, like 562 00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:25,080 Speaker 1: food is just meant to fuel you to feel good. Well, yes, 563 00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:26,960 Speaker 1: of course I want to eat foods that make me 564 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:30,080 Speaker 1: feel good, but that's why did God give us taste 565 00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:32,279 Speaker 1: buds if food was just meant to be fuel? And 566 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,880 Speaker 1: why is he preparing a feast for us in heaven 567 00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:37,120 Speaker 1: someday that we will enjoy even though our bodies won't 568 00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:37,960 Speaker 1: need food in heaven? 569 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:38,720 Speaker 2: Right? 570 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:42,840 Speaker 1: And so now it's like I when I have the 571 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,759 Speaker 1: treat or whatever, like, I'm going to enjoy it. And 572 00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:48,359 Speaker 1: I'm not just going to eat things that don't sound 573 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:50,759 Speaker 1: good to me, because it's just why would I do. Like, No, 574 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,360 Speaker 1: I want to I want to really enjoy my food. 575 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:57,440 Speaker 1: And so just inviting the Lord into that with me, Yeah, 576 00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:02,640 Speaker 1: has been different, like so different, you know, but good 577 00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:08,280 Speaker 1: in a good way. Another thing is is my body 578 00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:11,279 Speaker 1: was changing a little bit as I was starting to 579 00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:17,800 Speaker 1: listen to its needs versus allow external rules to dictate 580 00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,040 Speaker 1: my choices. Like that was a huge shift. Now I'm 581 00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:23,879 Speaker 1: like listening, Oh are you hungry? What are you hungry for? Like, 582 00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:30,279 Speaker 1: as my body was changing during that process, my clothes 583 00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:32,520 Speaker 1: were getting a little snug And for a while there 584 00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:36,160 Speaker 1: I was so resistant to buying clothes that fit my 585 00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:42,319 Speaker 1: body because somehow I thought that new number on the 586 00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:46,399 Speaker 1: clothing size tag was attached to my identity, like as 587 00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:47,160 Speaker 1: I was healing, you. 588 00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:50,080 Speaker 2: Know, failure, it feels like failure. It was failure. 589 00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:53,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I could not buy new clothes, so instead, 590 00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:57,200 Speaker 1: I'd be uncomfortable in my snug clothes, but that discomfort 591 00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:00,560 Speaker 1: would remind me that my body was changing, so that 592 00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:04,880 Speaker 1: wasn't helpful. But eventually I did buy some new clothes 593 00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:08,480 Speaker 1: that fit my body now, and honestly, that was like 594 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:10,920 Speaker 1: the kindest thing I could do for myself that I 595 00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:14,480 Speaker 1: resisted for so long because I felt shame attached to that, 596 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:20,520 Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, So that that was a huge thing 597 00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:26,280 Speaker 1: that changed for me. Yeah, It's amazing how my belief 598 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:30,960 Speaker 1: system has changed and how that has truly impacted how 599 00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:33,480 Speaker 1: how I live my life now. 600 00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:39,280 Speaker 2: Did you ever think you could have a conversation about 601 00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:44,879 Speaker 2: feeling peaceful or joyful or even rest filled, right, because 602 00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:50,080 Speaker 2: I would say that's your new posture with food without 603 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,799 Speaker 2: having lost X number of pounds, Like, did you ever 604 00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:54,800 Speaker 2: think that was even possible? 605 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:58,640 Speaker 1: Oh? No, because it was so closely connected to my weight. 606 00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,080 Speaker 1: Body image freedom was so closely connected to my weight, 607 00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:07,440 Speaker 1: like they went hand in hand. So this is a 608 00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:10,000 Speaker 1: miracle that we're even having this conversation, a miracle of 609 00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:12,799 Speaker 1: the Lord that he did. Like, that's the transformation, Like 610 00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:15,160 Speaker 1: you were talking transformation in the beginning, that's the transformation 611 00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:18,600 Speaker 1: that's taken place in my heart. And honestly, for the 612 00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:21,920 Speaker 1: first time in my life, I don't have the goal 613 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:27,839 Speaker 1: to shrink my body in some form, which is yeah, 614 00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:35,120 Speaker 1: that's huge. I'm no longer restricting mentally or physically, because 615 00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:38,319 Speaker 1: there is a mental component to that too, absolutely, Like 616 00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:41,640 Speaker 1: I couldn't restrict that way I wanted to ever, but 617 00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:45,040 Speaker 1: mentally then it was like, oh, I'm a failure, Like 618 00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:47,040 Speaker 1: why can't I do that? Those people can do that, 619 00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:50,839 Speaker 1: but I can't do it? What's wrong with me? And 620 00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:56,480 Speaker 1: so it's amazing to me that I do not. I 621 00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:58,680 Speaker 1: don't feel out of control with food. And there is 622 00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:02,280 Speaker 1: just such a close connection between I've learned restriction and binging. 623 00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:07,000 Speaker 1: When you let go of that restriction component, the binging 624 00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:13,319 Speaker 1: improves so much, right you know. So yeah, I would 625 00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:16,160 Speaker 1: say in general, I'm just giving myself a lot more 626 00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:20,839 Speaker 1: grace and compassion. I'm kind to myself, I'm listening to 627 00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:25,799 Speaker 1: my body. I'm resting when I need to rest. I'm 628 00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:29,759 Speaker 1: really listening to the cues that are God, our creator, 629 00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,719 Speaker 1: who is so wise and how he's created us, has 630 00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:35,000 Speaker 1: given us and listening to those cues and letting those 631 00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:44,120 Speaker 1: dictate my decisions, whether it's sleep, water, exercise, food versus 632 00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:49,359 Speaker 1: the external rules. So, you know, I think some people think, oh, 633 00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:52,239 Speaker 1: you're abandoning all your healthy habits that you developed over 634 00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:54,600 Speaker 1: the years because now you're on the other drink. No no, no, no, no, 635 00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:56,839 Speaker 1: that's not it, like I want to still feel good, 636 00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,759 Speaker 1: I want to show up. Well, yeah, it's just I'm 637 00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:06,480 Speaker 1: not obsessing about it. I'm not you know, tracking everything. 638 00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:13,919 Speaker 1: I'm just living. I'm more present, and that's been that's yeah. 639 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's the quote of the day. I'm 640 00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:21,480 Speaker 2: just living and that is but that is not what 641 00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:25,160 Speaker 2: we do when we're chasing a certain body size or 642 00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:28,840 Speaker 2: a certain look. We're not just living and we're certainly 643 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:33,160 Speaker 2: not just living for the Lord, right. I mean, but 644 00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:34,799 Speaker 2: but I'm so glad you said what you just said, 645 00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:36,239 Speaker 2: because I was trying to think of a way to 646 00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:39,239 Speaker 2: ask you a question to us that you know. I mean, 647 00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:42,040 Speaker 2: I think somebody hearing this might be like, well, she 648 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,799 Speaker 2: just is not not doing anything healthy anymore, and that's 649 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:47,560 Speaker 2: not healthy. And you know, don't you know the Bible 650 00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,719 Speaker 2: wants us to be healthy, and like, you know, I 651 00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:53,719 Speaker 2: hear the feedback of health health health, health, health right, 652 00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:59,000 Speaker 2: And I think what you've experienced and what I've experienced 653 00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:02,520 Speaker 2: is like, whoa all these voices in the world trying 654 00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:05,839 Speaker 2: to tell us how to be healthy, Like they're kind 655 00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:11,279 Speaker 2: of unhealthy. Like maybe some of what they said might 656 00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:16,920 Speaker 2: be good, but all of it together is just putting 657 00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:21,000 Speaker 2: this giant, unhealthy burden on us to do things with 658 00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:23,400 Speaker 2: our food and our bodies that we were never intended 659 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:28,040 Speaker 2: to do. And we're not getting healthier by trying to 660 00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:34,080 Speaker 2: follow everyone's rules and everyone's ways and everyone's programs. We're 661 00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:37,919 Speaker 2: just being more and more distracted from what you said, 662 00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:42,400 Speaker 2: the living yes, like the just living right. So Leslie 663 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:47,400 Speaker 2: as we close today, right, someone listening is like, oh, 664 00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:51,880 Speaker 2: that sounds scary. I think I need that. I don't 665 00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:54,880 Speaker 2: know though, like that would just be really weird, but 666 00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:57,279 Speaker 2: I kind of want that freedom. Like how would you 667 00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:59,399 Speaker 2: encourage them? What would you say to them? What would 668 00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:02,279 Speaker 2: you say the person and that's thinking about a journey like. 669 00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:07,839 Speaker 1: This, Yeah, I would say it's completely understandable to be 670 00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:13,640 Speaker 1: scared of the future. But our God is bigger than that, 671 00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:19,640 Speaker 1: And I don't think this freedom that he has for 672 00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:23,640 Speaker 1: us to live in this side of heaven can exist 673 00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:28,480 Speaker 1: without opening our hands and surrendering our will, our plans, 674 00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:34,040 Speaker 1: our desires, and even others opinions of us, even our 675 00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:37,440 Speaker 1: journey of recovery. Like I wanted to be recovered like that, 676 00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:41,719 Speaker 1: and that wasn't the case. I had a lot of 677 00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:45,720 Speaker 1: stuff I had to work through, and so I would 678 00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:48,680 Speaker 1: just encourage someone out there that the journey is worth 679 00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:52,960 Speaker 1: it and it and it's it starts with just loosening 680 00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:55,360 Speaker 1: your grip just a little bit and seeing what the 681 00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:56,279 Speaker 1: Lord wants to do with that. 682 00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:01,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. I love that so much. Is 683 00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:04,160 Speaker 2: there anything we missed? Anything? You're like? I wanted to 684 00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:07,160 Speaker 2: make sure that I said this part of my story. 685 00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:12,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know. In your class, you had us listen 686 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:15,960 Speaker 1: to a lot of Tim Keller sermons, which I loved. 687 00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:21,160 Speaker 1: And one of the things that gripped me when I 688 00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:24,920 Speaker 1: was like, do I really have an idolatry problem was 689 00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:28,680 Speaker 1: his description of idolatry. And then I was like, Yep, 690 00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:30,440 Speaker 1: he hit the nail on the head, Yep, this is 691 00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:35,040 Speaker 1: an idol for me. And his description was idols consume 692 00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:39,680 Speaker 1: you as you pursue them, disappoint you when you get them, 693 00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:46,080 Speaker 1: and devastate you when you lose them. And that was 694 00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:54,440 Speaker 1: really eye opening to me. I definitely had an idolatry problem. Yeah, 695 00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:56,640 Speaker 1: and you know what we all do, like, our hearts 696 00:42:56,719 --> 00:42:59,279 Speaker 1: are little idol factories. So there's no shame in that. 697 00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:02,920 Speaker 1: That's just the way our hearts are. But you can't 698 00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:08,480 Speaker 1: heal if you aren't aware that it exists. So it's 699 00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:11,080 Speaker 1: good to kind of take an inventory, like, Okay, what 700 00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:13,160 Speaker 1: are the things in my life that are consuming me, 701 00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:16,960 Speaker 1: that are disappointing me when I get them, and that 702 00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:20,280 Speaker 1: devastating me if I lose them. What are those things? 703 00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:25,080 Speaker 1: We all have them, so it is it is worth, 704 00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:27,880 Speaker 1: you know, taking that inventory and then going to the 705 00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:31,920 Speaker 1: Lord with your idols because he doesn't want you to 706 00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:36,719 Speaker 1: worship anything but him. Yeah, and he's just he's so 707 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:40,839 Speaker 1: faithful to walk through this with us. You know, He's 708 00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:44,839 Speaker 1: been so faithful. So I'm grateful, grateful to be here, 709 00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:47,720 Speaker 1: grateful for you, Heather, to be walking through this journey 710 00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:50,480 Speaker 1: with me. And starting the journey two years ago, I 711 00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:52,400 Speaker 1: had no idea what was in store, and it's a 712 00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:56,960 Speaker 1: good thing I didn't at that time, but I'm. 713 00:43:56,840 --> 00:44:00,760 Speaker 2: Great, yeah, oh Leslie, thank you, thank you so much. 714 00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:06,040 Speaker 2: Man preaching good there at the end. And I would 715 00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:09,960 Speaker 2: just say, as you listen to Leslie's story, my friend, 716 00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:14,600 Speaker 2: my listener, like, man, I think the wisdom she just 717 00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:17,160 Speaker 2: offered there is the best thing you could do for 718 00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:20,919 Speaker 2: yourself as you head into a new year. Just try 719 00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:23,319 Speaker 2: to loosen your grip a little and say, God, like, 720 00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:27,719 Speaker 2: what is consuming me? What is disappointing me? What would 721 00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:31,600 Speaker 2: I be devastated to lose? And if there's anything that 722 00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:37,480 Speaker 2: comes to mind and it's not Jesus, right, then you 723 00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:40,360 Speaker 2: do have an idle problem. Friend, You've got work to do. 724 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:43,200 Speaker 2: But the good news is on the other side of 725 00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:47,600 Speaker 2: that work. It's so much freedom. And as someone who 726 00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:51,239 Speaker 2: worked with Leslie in the very beginning day one, like, 727 00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:53,800 Speaker 2: I'm just looking at you, and your countenance is different. 728 00:44:55,239 --> 00:45:00,399 Speaker 2: You know, you are more peaceful now, you look more 729 00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:04,239 Speaker 2: just at rest, right, And so I can just even 730 00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:08,120 Speaker 2: see it on you from those first you know couple 731 00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:13,360 Speaker 2: zoom calls many years ago, right, And so the freedom 732 00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:15,719 Speaker 2: is out there. God's not going to be stingy with it. 733 00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:19,160 Speaker 2: He's going to be faithful. So Leslie again thank you 734 00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:20,840 Speaker 2: so much for sharing your story today. 735 00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:23,359 Speaker 1: You're welcome. Thank you so much for having me Heather. 736 00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:27,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, and thank you for listening today. I hope something 737 00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:29,840 Speaker 2: today has helped you stop comparing and start living. 738 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:31,600 Speaker 1: Bye bye. 739 00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:37,440 Speaker 2: The Compared To podcast is proud to be part of 740 00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:40,560 Speaker 2: the Life Audio podcast Network. For more great Christian podcasts, 741 00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:43,920 Speaker 2: go to lifeaudio dot com. And if this episode encouraged you, 742 00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:45,120 Speaker 2: share it with a friend.