1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,680 Speaker 2: Welcome to the Love Offering Podcast. I'm your host, Rachel Adam's, 3 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:11,360 Speaker 2: author of every Day Prayers for Love, Learning to Love God, others, 4 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 2: and even yourself. Each week we dive into meaningful conversations 5 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 2: about how to live out the greatest commandment, living out 6 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:19,159 Speaker 2: with all of our heart's soul, mind and strength, and 7 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:23,520 Speaker 2: loving our neighbors as ourselves, whether through inspiring stories, practical wisdom, 8 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:25,799 Speaker 2: or biblical truth. My hope is to encourage you to 9 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 2: love boldly, live faithfully, and reflect God's love in your 10 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,760 Speaker 2: everyday life. Today, I'm honored to welcome Christy Thomas to 11 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:36,040 Speaker 2: the show. Christy is the author of Everyday Prayers for Gentleness, 12 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 2: embracing the radical strength of tenderness in a world often 13 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:43,239 Speaker 2: marked by outrage, division, and harshness. Christy reminds us that 14 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 2: gentleness is not weakness, but spirit empowered strength, rooted in 15 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:51,279 Speaker 2: scripture and practical application. Her devotional invites us to cultivate 16 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,280 Speaker 2: Christ's like gentleness in the places where it's often hardest 17 00:00:54,640 --> 00:01:00,279 Speaker 2: our homes, our churches, our relationships, and even our interactions online. Well, 18 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:03,160 Speaker 2: Hello Christy, and welcome to the Love Offering Podcast. I'm 19 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 2: so happy to have you mean, thanks so. 20 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 1: Much for having me. I'm excited. 21 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:09,559 Speaker 2: So I love that I get to support my fellow 22 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 2: Everyday Prayers writers. We're all doing the Fruit of the Spirit. 23 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 2: It's through Million Praying Moms, and you're just the next one. 24 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:18,880 Speaker 2: I'm thinking, gosh, I haven't had everybody on yet, and 25 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 2: I need to because I really believe in the series 26 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:25,399 Speaker 2: and obviously am the lover of everything Fruit of the Spirit. 27 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:29,320 Speaker 2: So gentleness. When they first approached you to say, Christy, 28 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,800 Speaker 2: you remind us of gentleness, Like, how did that conversation go? 29 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 2: It was how it went. That's how I imagine it 30 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,199 Speaker 2: in my head. 31 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:40,679 Speaker 3: No, so, so Brick asked if I would consider writing 32 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 3: one of the Million Praying Moms with one of the 33 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 3: Everyday Prayers books, and she said, there's a couple that 34 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 3: we haven't done yet, and kindness and gentleness are on there. 35 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 1: And I knew it had to be gentleness. I and 36 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:55,200 Speaker 1: we actually pushed for gentleness that the publisher wanted to 37 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,760 Speaker 1: do the kindness one next, and I said, this is 38 00:01:57,760 --> 00:01:59,720 Speaker 1: why I need to do the gentleness one, because I 39 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 1: think at gentleness is like the radical cousin of kindness. 40 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:04,560 Speaker 1: I think, and mity can be kind it's kind of 41 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 1: kindness is kind of nice, Like I know there's more 42 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:09,360 Speaker 1: to it, but you think of kindness and you go, oh, okay, 43 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: I can be nice. But gentleness nobody wants to do. 44 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,480 Speaker 1: It's not something that we think, I want to be 45 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,280 Speaker 1: more gentle For the most part, it's something that is 46 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 1: very countercultural, and I think it's exactly what we need 47 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 1: in this moment. So that's why I picked gentleness and 48 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 1: why we fought for gentleness, and they agreed with us 49 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: and they said, Okay, yeah, you're right, gentleness is the 50 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,480 Speaker 1: one that we're going to do. So the reason I 51 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:32,680 Speaker 1: it was really on my heart was I had written 52 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,440 Speaker 1: this family devotional on a diffort of the spirit and 53 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:39,000 Speaker 1: the gentleness one. The gentleness section was one that really 54 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:42,800 Speaker 1: taught me a lot about who Jesus is and what 55 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,920 Speaker 1: gentleness actually is, and so I kind of was like 56 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,400 Speaker 1: an extension of that, except now we're going to talk 57 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:51,120 Speaker 1: about gentleness with adults and go into it a lot deeper. 58 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, Christy. The one that I did not 59 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:57,240 Speaker 2: want to do was every a prayers for self control, 60 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 2: because that's the one that struggled with them most, self control, 61 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:05,400 Speaker 2: with foods, self control with my mouth, controlled with you know, 62 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:06,160 Speaker 2: x uzzi. 63 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 1: So we won't get into that. We're going to talk 64 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:11,680 Speaker 1: about gentleness today instead, which I actually I actually love. 65 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:14,000 Speaker 2: I don't know why because I almost feel like this 66 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 2: one and I'm not tooting my own horn by any means, 67 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,519 Speaker 2: but I almost think that this is one that comes 68 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 2: a little bit more naturally for me than some of 69 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,960 Speaker 2: the others. So I'm anxious to hear because I do 70 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:28,680 Speaker 2: think that gentleness can be misconstrued as almost like weakness, 71 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:32,760 Speaker 2: and so I'm interested to hear all about your take 72 00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 2: on gentleness. But we're going to take a brief break 73 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 2: to think our sponsor, and when we come back, we'll 74 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 2: talk about why gentleness is not weakness but a powerful 75 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,080 Speaker 2: reflection of God's character. 76 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:45,480 Speaker 1: Welcome back. 77 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,360 Speaker 2: I am talking with Christy Thomas about everyday prayers for gentleness, 78 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:52,839 Speaker 2: embracing the radical strength of tenderness. So our culture, I think, 79 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,320 Speaker 2: often celebrates bold opinions and sharp responses, and gentleness can 80 00:03:56,360 --> 00:04:00,240 Speaker 2: sometimes feel overlooked or even maybe misunderstood. So why do 81 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 2: you think gentleness is such a vital virtue for believers today? 82 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:06,440 Speaker 1: Well, I think it's partly because believers are not necessarily 83 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 1: known for our gentleness. A lot of people would say 84 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:12,360 Speaker 1: that Christians are a huge part of the problem, at 85 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,880 Speaker 1: least in the Western world, because they see us in fighting. 86 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 1: In fact, my kids and I just learned about the 87 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,080 Speaker 1: Thirty Year War in sixteen hundreds in Europe, and it 88 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:23,240 Speaker 1: was all between Christians. It was between Catholics and Protestants. 89 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: And so Christians are a problem, and a huge part 90 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:30,400 Speaker 1: of that problem is that we don't live in gentleness. 91 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,400 Speaker 1: I found this quote from Jonathan Edwards. He was a 92 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,800 Speaker 1: preacher from a while back, and he was not really 93 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,920 Speaker 1: known for his gentleness, but he said, a lamblike dovelike 94 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:42,919 Speaker 1: spirit and temper is the true and distinguishing disposition of 95 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 1: the heart of Christians. And so I think that the 96 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:49,679 Speaker 1: Christian response is not to pick aside and fire more shots. 97 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,839 Speaker 1: That's not what Jesus did and it's not what we 98 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,160 Speaker 1: are called to do. It's found in having the same 99 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 1: attitude as Christ Jesus, who did not consider equality with 100 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:00,440 Speaker 1: God is something to be grasped, but he humbled himself 101 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:03,080 Speaker 1: and became a servant and died on the cross for us. 102 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 1: And we are supposed to have that same attitude and gentleness. 103 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,880 Speaker 1: The reason why I think it's so important for Christians 104 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,920 Speaker 1: is because gentleness is the heart of the Gospel. Gentleness 105 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 1: and the way I define gentleness in the book, at 106 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: least the first part of the book, is that it's 107 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,839 Speaker 1: a holding back of power for the sake of the week. 108 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:23,000 Speaker 1: It's not being weak because you don't tell a newborn baby, okay, 109 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,680 Speaker 1: be gentle. You tell the parents okay, you have to 110 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 1: be gentle because they have the power in the situation, 111 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:32,240 Speaker 1: so they have to have self control. Gentleness, I think 112 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,599 Speaker 1: is actually an aspect of self control. So you do 113 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:37,400 Speaker 1: have some of that's good for you, Thank you, Christie. 114 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,880 Speaker 1: So gentleness is what we see in God. God is 115 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 1: all knowing and all powerful, and he does not have 116 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 1: to hold back his power for the sake for our sake, 117 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:52,320 Speaker 1: but he does. And the ultimate the Bible does a 118 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,279 Speaker 1: proverb that says, a gentle answer turns away wrath, and 119 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:58,320 Speaker 1: so we think about that in terms of speaking, but 120 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 1: also Jesus is the ultimate gentle answer that turns away wrath. 121 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:07,159 Speaker 1: There's the justified wrath of God against sin and evil 122 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: and all the awful stuff that we hate in this world. 123 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,359 Speaker 1: And we want God to deal with and Jesus is 124 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 1: the answer to that. God takes that on himself. He's 125 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:19,239 Speaker 1: the gentle answer. He withholds his power for our sake. 126 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,200 Speaker 1: And so if we want the Gospel to go out 127 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:24,880 Speaker 1: to the world, we have to live in gentleness. 128 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:28,640 Speaker 2: I want you to elaborate more, because your devotional draws 129 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:31,880 Speaker 2: on the gentle character of Father's son and Holy Spirit. 130 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 1: He is the lion in the lamb. 131 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 2: So how do we see gentleness reflected in the nature 132 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,040 Speaker 2: of God throughout scripture? 133 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 1: We see it. We see it everywhere from the very beginning. 134 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,680 Speaker 1: When Adam and Eves sin and they hide in the garden, 135 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:47,360 Speaker 1: and God says where are you? He doesn't drag them 136 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 1: out by their ears and say what have you done? 137 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:53,760 Speaker 1: He says where are you? And he yes, he gives 138 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 1: them a consequence and they have to leave the garden. 139 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 1: But even that is gentleness because it removes them from 140 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:01,760 Speaker 1: the tree of life, which if they had then eaten 141 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,680 Speaker 1: from the tree of life in their sinful state, they 142 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:07,359 Speaker 1: would have had this eternal, eternal pain, eternally living in 143 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 1: the sin and the consequences of that. So even his 144 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 1: consequence is a form of gentleness, and you can see 145 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 1: it in the story of Jonah would be a really 146 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,720 Speaker 1: good example of God's gentleness and in our reaction to it. 147 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,680 Speaker 1: So God is very gentle with Jonah. I mean, yes, 148 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:26,360 Speaker 1: he sends this big storm, but he does still withhold 149 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 1: his power for Jonah. He saves him in the big 150 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 1: fish and then spits him out, gives him another chance. 151 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:35,160 Speaker 1: And then Jonah goes to Ninevah and gives a very 152 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:38,200 Speaker 1: lackluster sermon. I think it's like four words, like, you know, 153 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,480 Speaker 1: God said repent. Actually I don't even think he said 154 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 1: God said repent. He says, God's gonna destroy you. And 155 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:47,000 Speaker 1: then they totally repent. And Jonah is so mad, and 156 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:50,040 Speaker 1: he says, God, I knew that you were gentle, and 157 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 1: I knew that you were like this, and that's why 158 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,640 Speaker 1: I didn't want to do this. Because he knows the 159 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 1: character of God is to be gentle. So he wouldn't 160 00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:01,000 Speaker 1: have been so mad if he didn't already know that 161 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 1: that's what God was going to do to his enemies. 162 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 1: Jesus himself calls himself gentle and lowly at heart. You know, 163 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:11,840 Speaker 1: we see his responses to sinners, to the adulterous woman, 164 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:16,160 Speaker 1: and to the Zichius and he's constantly just holding back 165 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 1: his power. He again, his wrath would be justified against 166 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 1: people who are frustratingly simple, and yet he continuously holds 167 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 1: back that power. So, yes, he is the lion. Absolutely, 168 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,360 Speaker 1: he's the lion, but he's also the lamb. And he's 169 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 1: never just lion, and he's never just lamb. He's always 170 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,520 Speaker 1: both of those things at the same time. So I 171 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 1: even talk about the overturning of the tables in the 172 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:43,280 Speaker 1: Temple in the book because we would often point to 173 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,880 Speaker 1: that and say, well, see Jesus wasn't gentle, Well, Jesus, 174 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:49,640 Speaker 1: that's actually he's doing that on behalf of the vulnerable. 175 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,640 Speaker 1: He's doing it because the people who are selling in 176 00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 1: the temple and the money changers, they're taking advantage of 177 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,719 Speaker 1: the foreigners, and they're taking advantage of the poor. It 178 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,319 Speaker 1: specifically says that he says to the people who are 179 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:03,280 Speaker 1: selling doves, get these out of here. And the people 180 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:06,520 Speaker 1: who are selling doves are selling them probably for a 181 00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:09,000 Speaker 1: lot of money, to people who are poor, and it 182 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,480 Speaker 1: was the doves that the poor people could afford. So 183 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:15,960 Speaker 1: he's specifically ridding the temple of this so that the 184 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:19,560 Speaker 1: people can just come and worship that people who are poor, 185 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:22,880 Speaker 1: that people who are the foreigners who are coming to visit. So, 186 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,880 Speaker 1: I guess if you look back at Renaissance art, and 187 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:28,840 Speaker 1: this kind of drives me crazy, you will see paintings 188 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:31,360 Speaker 1: of Jesus flipping the tables in the temple and he 189 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:34,640 Speaker 1: looks horrifyingly mad, and he's got a whip and he 190 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 1: can see women and children screaming away from him. That's 191 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 1: not the Jesus that we actually see in the gospels, though, 192 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 1: we see a Jesus that thoughtfully he gets I don't 193 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,480 Speaker 1: know whatever it is, and he braids it into a whip, 194 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 1: and then he goes into the temple like he's full 195 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:51,480 Speaker 1: of self control. And he goes and he's whipping the 196 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,559 Speaker 1: animals out of the temple, which is what you do 197 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 1: to get animals moving, And he flips over the tables. 198 00:09:56,880 --> 00:10:00,120 Speaker 1: He's not whipping women and children and vulnerable people, and 199 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,680 Speaker 1: he's saying, get this out of here, for the sake 200 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:07,520 Speaker 1: of the vulnerable. And that's once you start looking for it, 201 00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 1: you just can't unsee it. 202 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:12,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love all those examples, and your right, what 203 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:16,280 Speaker 2: an amazing God we serve. Just I'm so in love 204 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:18,480 Speaker 2: with him, and the more that I get to know him, 205 00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:22,480 Speaker 2: the more in love with him become. You know, I 206 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:26,600 Speaker 2: think many of us want to respond gently. I think 207 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 2: that is our heart's desire, but there's reality in real 208 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:33,560 Speaker 2: life tensions like parenting struggles, marriage disagreements, church conflict, and 209 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 2: even social media conversations, it can be really difficult for 210 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,760 Speaker 2: us to respond in that way. So what are some 211 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:43,200 Speaker 2: practical ways we can begin cultivating gentleness in those moments? 212 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:46,319 Speaker 1: I think I think it really starts outside of those 213 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:49,520 Speaker 1: moments and learning to connect with God and learning to 214 00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:52,440 Speaker 1: abide with Him outside of those moments, so that when 215 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:55,280 Speaker 1: we're in those moments, it's like there's more of Jesus 216 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 1: in us already. But there's verses in like fir Peter 217 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,960 Speaker 1: two says that Jesus can continued in trusting himself to 218 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,880 Speaker 1: the one who judges justly, which is why he didn't 219 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:07,920 Speaker 1: need to take vengeance. Learning as we're abiding in Christ, 220 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,240 Speaker 1: who Jesus is and who God is, and that we 221 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:13,800 Speaker 1: can entrust him to the one who judges justly. And 222 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:17,640 Speaker 1: I think also again in those prayer times, asking God 223 00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:20,600 Speaker 1: to fill us up with love for that person. You know, 224 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,560 Speaker 1: you're the love person. Now you know the answer at thirteen. 225 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 1: If I have not love, I am nothing. So if 226 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 1: I can have all this scathing remarks, but or if 227 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:33,000 Speaker 1: I am right all the time but I have not love, 228 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,560 Speaker 1: I am nothing. So asking God to fill us up 229 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:39,800 Speaker 1: with love for that person is one step to gentleness, 230 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,559 Speaker 1: and then again praying. I think what we need to 231 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:46,800 Speaker 1: ask God for humility in all situations. In the New Testament, 232 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:50,480 Speaker 1: gentleness and humility, and our humility are very often partnered 233 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:53,000 Speaker 1: together in a verse when it talks about you know, 234 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:57,000 Speaker 1: all these things that you should put on the compassion, kindness, gentleness, 235 00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:00,240 Speaker 1: and humility, those things are often just stuck together, their 236 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,679 Speaker 1: gentleness and humility. So I don't think that we can 237 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:06,520 Speaker 1: be truly gentle until we're humble. And it takes humility 238 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,559 Speaker 1: to be humble. That sounds like a dumb thing to say, 239 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,680 Speaker 1: but you have to acknowledge that maybe you aren't right 240 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 1: all the time, and that maybe other people have a 241 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:18,280 Speaker 1: valid opinion, or that you are not always the perfect parent, 242 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 1: and so that makes a big difference. So trusting first 243 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,600 Speaker 1: of all, knowing the God who judges justly, and trusting him, 244 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,840 Speaker 1: so really knowing who God is and his character, and 245 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,840 Speaker 1: then asking him to fill us with love for the 246 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:33,640 Speaker 1: people around us and specifically the people that annoy us 247 00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:36,959 Speaker 1: to no end, and then praying for our own hearts, 248 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,160 Speaker 1: asking for humility. And then this is probably the most 249 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 1: practical thing, is just wait, like, don't say anything right away, 250 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:47,920 Speaker 1: don't write anything right away, don't say anything right away. 251 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:50,640 Speaker 1: And that's why I think that gentleness is also very 252 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:53,920 Speaker 1: intricately entwined with self control, because we have to learn 253 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:57,120 Speaker 1: to just take a breath. I don't have to say anything. 254 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 1: I don't have to rebut right away or have a 255 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:02,960 Speaker 1: witty saying or fix their opinion and tell them the truth. 256 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,480 Speaker 1: I can just wait. And so this has been a 257 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 1: big deal for me actually in my parenting is I 258 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,520 Speaker 1: used to react to everything all the time, especially when 259 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:14,000 Speaker 1: I started homeschooling. I started homeschooling when my kids were 260 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,200 Speaker 1: in elementary school, so they weren't like I haven't always 261 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,440 Speaker 1: done it, and it was hard for me to learn 262 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:22,400 Speaker 1: to be teacher and mom. And then at the same time, 263 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 1: my oldest was pretty much a preteen and it was hard. 264 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,640 Speaker 1: There was a lot of reactionary parenting happening. And so 265 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,040 Speaker 1: one thing that God taught me was just you know, 266 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,120 Speaker 1: when their kids are bickering, you don't have to jump 267 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:38,040 Speaker 1: in right away. Wait, take a breath, pray, and then 268 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:41,720 Speaker 1: when I go in, I'm so much more likely to 269 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:45,600 Speaker 1: go in with wisdom and gentleness and not just like 270 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,839 Speaker 1: yelling Okay, everybody's stop right now. So it makes a 271 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:51,679 Speaker 1: huge difference when but I had to kind of center 272 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:55,760 Speaker 1: myself in Christ in that moment, but also beforehand. So 273 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,880 Speaker 1: there's honestly nothing in my life that has forced me 274 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,040 Speaker 1: to grow spiritually as my homeschooling. And I know what 275 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:04,440 Speaker 1: homeschooling is not for everybody. For me, I think God 276 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,240 Speaker 1: was like, girl, you go to homeschool because you had 277 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,600 Speaker 1: a lot of growing to do. Sanctification. 278 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:12,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I'm so glad you mentioned this that we 279 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,400 Speaker 2: can't do really any of the fruit of spirit. We 280 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,199 Speaker 2: can't do life without the Lord and the Holy Spirit 281 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,680 Speaker 2: residing in and working through us. So it's like we 282 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,400 Speaker 2: have to abide in Him, spend time with him, pray 283 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:27,120 Speaker 2: to him. But it is the Holy Spirit working, it's 284 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,080 Speaker 2: the fruit of the Spirit. So it is his characteristics 285 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,600 Speaker 2: that are working in and throst. So how does abiding 286 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,200 Speaker 2: in Christ shape the way we respond to others. 287 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:37,520 Speaker 1: I think abiding in Christ has a lot to do 288 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:43,240 Speaker 1: with knowing who Christ is and shaping our identity in him. 289 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,720 Speaker 1: So when we really know that Christ is the ultimate 290 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:50,400 Speaker 1: gentle answer that turns away wrath, then that shapes who 291 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,760 Speaker 1: we are and how we can respond. I while I 292 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:56,040 Speaker 1: was doing research for this book, I came across, Actually 293 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,360 Speaker 1: I didn't come across. I was going to a Bible 294 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,360 Speaker 1: study I at six thirty in the morning Wednesdays, which 295 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 1: was wild for me anyway, and they were using a 296 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 1: lot of this book by an author called Watchman Me 297 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 1: And I don't know if you've heard of him, but 298 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:13,800 Speaker 1: he's a Chinese pastor, an evangelist from the early nineteen hundreds, 299 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:18,520 Speaker 1: and he was really powerful and his books are quite wise, 300 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:22,080 Speaker 1: and they've been translated many times from many different publishers. 301 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:25,560 Speaker 1: And the one that I was reading, he said Christianity 302 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:28,920 Speaker 1: begins not with a big do, with a big but 303 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,760 Speaker 1: with a big done. And he says the secret of 304 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:35,280 Speaker 1: deliverance from sin is not to do something, but to 305 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 1: rest on what God has done. And so that to 306 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:40,680 Speaker 1: me is that abiding in Christ portion is resting in 307 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:43,600 Speaker 1: what God has done instead of trying to just be 308 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 1: more gentleman, do more stuff. We're resting in what christ 309 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:50,320 Speaker 1: Is done on our behalf. He is our gentleness, and 310 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:52,520 Speaker 1: so the more we abide in him, the more we're 311 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:56,000 Speaker 1: able to kind of draw on his gentleness instead of 312 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 1: just trying harder to be gentle. 313 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,560 Speaker 2: Christie, that was beautiful. Well, we're going to take another 314 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:03,440 Speaker 2: brief break to hear a word from today's sponsor, and 315 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:06,000 Speaker 2: when we come back, we will look and talk about 316 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 2: what it looks like to practice gentleness when emotions run high. 317 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:13,120 Speaker 1: Welcome back. 318 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,440 Speaker 2: I'm talking with Christy Thomas about cultivating gentleness in our 319 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:20,120 Speaker 2: everyday life. So, for the listener who feels easily triggered 320 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,160 Speaker 2: or overwhelmed by attention and division that we see around us, 321 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,240 Speaker 2: how can gentleness become a steady posture rather than just 322 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,040 Speaker 2: an occasional response. 323 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:29,480 Speaker 1: I think a lot of it has to do with 324 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,760 Speaker 1: our self awareness of what kind of things are triggering 325 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:37,280 Speaker 1: us to anger or harshness or bickering. It's funny that 326 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 1: in the New Testament, gentleness isn't always contrasted with harshness, 327 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:45,320 Speaker 1: but with things like bickering. So being gentle is the 328 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:49,200 Speaker 1: opposite of bickering with your people around you or online, 329 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:52,480 Speaker 1: or with your children, or with your husband. So being 330 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,680 Speaker 1: aware of what is causing me to be ungentle is 331 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:59,560 Speaker 1: really big deals. I actually taught a class last year 332 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,880 Speaker 1: at Homesore conference. I did a class on slow to 333 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:06,840 Speaker 1: anger parenting. So I talked like the first half of 334 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:09,720 Speaker 1: it was talking about like being aware of those things 335 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:13,359 Speaker 1: that make you fly off the handle? Is it your kids? 336 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:16,080 Speaker 1: Is it when you're late? Is it social media? And 337 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,480 Speaker 1: when you figure out and you're starting to be aware 338 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,840 Speaker 1: of oh, that kind of thing always drives me nuts 339 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:24,600 Speaker 1: and makes me very ungently, you need a to start 340 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,840 Speaker 1: practicing just designing around that. So if it's social media 341 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,879 Speaker 1: that's causing you to be ungentle, you probably need to 342 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,159 Speaker 1: take a social media break. If it's your kids that 343 00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:34,040 Speaker 1: are causing. 344 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,480 Speaker 4: You to be ungentle, there's whole books about that, but 345 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:39,680 Speaker 4: I highly recommend a book called Triggers by Amber Lea 346 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,560 Speaker 4: and Wendy Speak that one is so good at figuring 347 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:46,159 Speaker 4: out what specifically is it about parenting that is driving 348 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:46,800 Speaker 4: you to anger? 349 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:50,040 Speaker 1: Because anger causes us to lose control, which leads to 350 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:52,280 Speaker 1: a lack of gentleness. So we need to learn to 351 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:54,919 Speaker 1: design around that. And if we can't design around like 352 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,960 Speaker 1: design our lives around that. So, for example, being late 353 00:17:58,040 --> 00:17:59,560 Speaker 1: was a big trigger for me. I actually am not 354 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 1: really good at being on time. But when I'm late 355 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,359 Speaker 1: and and my kids are making me later, I get 356 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,399 Speaker 1: I would get so frustrated. So for me to design 357 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:10,560 Speaker 1: around that, to become a more gentle person, I had 358 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,320 Speaker 1: to actively make sure that I wasn't being late, like 359 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,880 Speaker 1: I had to be more prepared. So once I started 360 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,679 Speaker 1: making sure that I myself was more prepared, those times 361 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:22,679 Speaker 1: when my kids were dawdling didn't drive me crazy so 362 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,159 Speaker 1: much anymore. Because I had extra time, it was okay. 363 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:28,680 Speaker 1: And that actually helped me become more gentle. And then 364 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:32,080 Speaker 1: sometimes you can't. Sometimes you can't design your life away 365 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:35,560 Speaker 1: from the things that make you ungentle. And that's that 366 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:39,879 Speaker 1: practice and the abiding in Christ and just bringing it 367 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:43,960 Speaker 1: back to him all the time. Sorry series Sorry helped 368 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:47,040 Speaker 1: me to change. And then practicing coming away with him 369 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,320 Speaker 1: and getting to know his character in those moments when 370 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:51,560 Speaker 1: you're not in that high triggered state. 371 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, that's really good practical advice, just to self 372 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:59,160 Speaker 2: awareness and a preparation I think, and just knowing what 373 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,040 Speaker 2: is going to set us off. And then trying to 374 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,159 Speaker 2: prevent those things. I think those really wise. So what 375 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,359 Speaker 2: do you think gentleness looks like when we're dealing with 376 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,840 Speaker 2: conflict or even with people who oppose us or treat 377 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:09,400 Speaker 2: us harshly. 378 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,520 Speaker 1: That's so hard because there's not I can't say like, oh, 379 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,679 Speaker 1: you should do this every single time, because it's going 380 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:18,679 Speaker 1: to look different every time. But generally, as I mentioned, 381 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:22,679 Speaker 1: the New Testament often links gentleness with humility, and humility doesn't. 382 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,360 Speaker 1: It's not warm theology. I'm a worm, I'm terrible, I'm 383 00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:27,760 Speaker 1: the worst person ever. But really I just think of 384 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:31,440 Speaker 1: humility as I might be wrong. And so when I'm 385 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,240 Speaker 1: dealing with a conflict or with somebody who opposes me 386 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,640 Speaker 1: or is treating me harshly, if I can come at 387 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,119 Speaker 1: it with the spirit of humility, like, Okay, this is 388 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,600 Speaker 1: not great, but I might be wrong and I am 389 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,359 Speaker 1: not perfect in this situation. So and I can't change 390 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,359 Speaker 1: that person. So what can can I change? And it's me? 391 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,239 Speaker 1: And so I'm going to give you an example. And 392 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:53,280 Speaker 1: this is not always the right answer. My husband did 393 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 1: not agree that I did the right thing in this situation. 394 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,480 Speaker 1: But I told the story of my book. But there 395 00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,399 Speaker 1: was the lady at our church that for some reason 396 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,919 Speaker 1: or ever other, just took a severe disliking to me 397 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,080 Speaker 1: when I first started working there as a young adult. 398 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,840 Speaker 1: She said I talked too fast, which is probably real, 399 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,840 Speaker 1: and she couldn't hear me, and she didn't understand anything 400 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,159 Speaker 1: I said. She was being paired with me in a 401 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,440 Speaker 1: small group, and she was so mad, and she spent 402 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:19,639 Speaker 1: twenty minutes yelling at me on the phone. And my 403 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,879 Speaker 1: husband could hear me crying, and he's like, what on 404 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:23,760 Speaker 1: earth is going on? And he listened in and he 405 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,480 Speaker 1: took the phone from me and he said, you will 406 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:27,280 Speaker 1: never talk to my wife like that again, and he 407 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,159 Speaker 1: hung up. But I realized I wasn't going to be 408 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 1: able to get away from this relationship. This is a 409 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,159 Speaker 1: person that was in my church. I was going to 410 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:35,320 Speaker 1: leave my church over her. I knew that there was 411 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,679 Speaker 1: some mental health struggles that she was having, and so 412 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,480 Speaker 1: I prayed a lot about it. And then the next 413 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:43,920 Speaker 1: time she called, I felt this deep desire to apologize. 414 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,040 Speaker 1: And my husband later was like, why did you apologize? 415 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,560 Speaker 1: You had nothing to apologize for. But I thought, in 416 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,680 Speaker 1: that moment, I feel felt like that was what God 417 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,960 Speaker 1: wanted me to do was like, I'm sorry, I was 418 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,480 Speaker 1: an intending to I can't even remember what it all 419 00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,199 Speaker 1: I said. I just remembered that I apologized and it 420 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,879 Speaker 1: took her so off guard that she started apologizing to me, 421 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,320 Speaker 1: and our relationship was better after that. I wouldn't say 422 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,200 Speaker 1: we were best friends, but we never had a moment 423 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,800 Speaker 1: like that again where she just flew off the handle 424 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:13,800 Speaker 1: at me. So I think that's an example of maybe 425 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:16,320 Speaker 1: I could be wrong. Maybe there's an aspect here where 426 00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:21,520 Speaker 1: I'm not totally unjustly being slandered. Maybe there's something like 427 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:25,000 Speaker 1: an area where I could change and it it made 428 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,680 Speaker 1: a difference. It just really disarmed her. It's where is 429 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,640 Speaker 1: it I'm missing missing the scripture passage, But it's basically 430 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:34,040 Speaker 1: about like treating your enemies with goodness. That's like a 431 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,679 Speaker 1: way of like keeping coals on their heads. Like it's 432 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:41,080 Speaker 1: when we overcome evil with good, not by more evil. 433 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:44,040 Speaker 1: That's really what God showed us in the Gospel, and 434 00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:46,879 Speaker 1: it's how we are to behave And it's not always easy, 435 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 1: and it's not always easy to walk that line between 436 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:53,680 Speaker 1: being a doormat and not being a doormat, right because 437 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,400 Speaker 1: we don't want to just roll over and be like, fine, 438 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,920 Speaker 1: I was wrong all the time, because that's that's not okay, 439 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:02,920 Speaker 1: but it is. It's a line to walk, it's hard 440 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:03,320 Speaker 1: to walk. 441 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, as you were talking, I was thinking about when 442 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,960 Speaker 2: there is a flame, we can either be water or lassoline. 443 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,359 Speaker 2: And it sounds like in that situation you were water, 444 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,760 Speaker 2: Like I'm going to diffuse this situation and how often 445 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,760 Speaker 2: that we can do that? And that's like, as far 446 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:19,439 Speaker 2: as it's up to me, I'm going to be at 447 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:22,240 Speaker 2: peace with this person. So as we've been talking, and 448 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,959 Speaker 2: you've given so many good examples about how we do 449 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:28,760 Speaker 2: this within our own homes, with our parenting and our marriage, 450 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:32,239 Speaker 2: how has it shaped this spiritual atmosphere in your own 451 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:35,119 Speaker 2: family and how can it shape our spiritual atmosphere of 452 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:35,800 Speaker 2: our families? 453 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,600 Speaker 1: Well, because I think gentleness displays the heart of God. 454 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:40,840 Speaker 1: So it's going to help us model what the Christian 455 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:43,719 Speaker 1: life is. And I talk a lot about family discipleship, 456 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:47,119 Speaker 1: and I often say like, faith isn't just about what 457 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,119 Speaker 1: you teach, but it's also about the relationship that you 458 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,879 Speaker 1: have with your kids. Faith isn't about like or like 459 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,720 Speaker 1: discipling our kids, isn't about just passing on correct doctrine. 460 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,959 Speaker 1: But it's about the way that we live in relationship 461 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:02,040 Speaker 1: with our family. And so if we tell them about Jesus, 462 00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,479 Speaker 1: but we treat them harshly, or we bicker with our 463 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:07,879 Speaker 1: spouse endlessly, or we spend our days criticizing our friends, 464 00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:09,879 Speaker 1: our kids are going to see that and that's the 465 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:13,200 Speaker 1: kind of stuff that turns them away from faith. But instead, 466 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:17,040 Speaker 1: if we practice humility and gentleness and apologize to our 467 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:19,480 Speaker 1: kids when we have not treated them well, and we 468 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:23,399 Speaker 1: practice holding back our power, it really changes the tone 469 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,240 Speaker 1: of our homes as I've discovered over the past seven 470 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:27,040 Speaker 1: or so years. 471 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:31,159 Speaker 2: Yes, me too for sure. So for the woman listening 472 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,679 Speaker 2: who feels like she's maybe failed in this area, and 473 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:35,480 Speaker 2: I think we're all raising our hands right here. I 474 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:38,960 Speaker 2: mean that of this have done this perfectly. We've all 475 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,800 Speaker 2: maybe spoken harshly or reacted in anger at one time 476 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:45,399 Speaker 2: or another. What encouragement would you offer her and all 477 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:46,040 Speaker 2: of us today? 478 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,200 Speaker 1: Well, first of all, as you mentioned, we are not alone. 479 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,359 Speaker 1: I did this session, that this little anger parenting session 480 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:54,479 Speaker 1: at the homeschool conference last year, and I literally had 481 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,439 Speaker 1: people coming in the door and peeking in and looking 482 00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,320 Speaker 1: in and seeing how many. There was a few hundred 483 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 1: people in there, and they peeked in and they went, 484 00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 1: it's not just me. And so knowing that you're not 485 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,760 Speaker 1: alone is a big deal. But also you're not alone 486 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:10,639 Speaker 1: in another aspect. The other aspect of you're not alone 487 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,200 Speaker 1: is that you have the Holy Spirit with you. The 488 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,679 Speaker 1: Christian life isn't just you know, one and done. This 489 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 1: fire insurance so we don't go to hell and then 490 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,720 Speaker 1: we live however we please. God gives us the Holy 491 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 1: Spirit on purpose to help us become more like Christ. So, yeah, 492 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,680 Speaker 1: you and I have definitely failed in this area, as 493 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:30,359 Speaker 1: have probably almost everybody else. And we've spoken harshly and 494 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,720 Speaker 1: we've reacted in anger. So we apologize to our God 495 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:37,399 Speaker 1: and we repent, and we invite the Holy Spirit to 496 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:39,560 Speaker 1: work in us to become more like Christ. And then 497 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:42,600 Speaker 1: when you get those promptings, you try and follow them. 498 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,879 Speaker 1: It's just it's a slow journey of change. Yeah. 499 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:50,520 Speaker 2: So you mentioned God and Jesus have obviously displayed the 500 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:55,320 Speaker 2: characteristic of gentleness. Is there another biblical example of someone 501 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:59,199 Speaker 2: who displayed gentleness well that we could look to as 502 00:24:59,240 --> 00:24:59,840 Speaker 2: an example. 503 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,320 Speaker 1: Absolutely, Let's look at the story of David. Now, David. 504 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 1: David gets a little bit dicey as he gets older 505 00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,919 Speaker 1: in life, but his early years are full of gentleness, 506 00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:12,520 Speaker 1: specifically when he's being chased by Saul. So think is 507 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,800 Speaker 1: that moment in the cave when he and his friends 508 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,000 Speaker 1: are hiding in the cave and Saul walks into the 509 00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:21,119 Speaker 1: cave to go pee you or something, and his friends 510 00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:23,080 Speaker 1: are like, oh, this is perfect. God has put this 511 00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:25,800 Speaker 1: guy in place for you to assassinate right now. And 512 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,119 Speaker 1: David is like, I don't think so, and he goes 513 00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:31,840 Speaker 1: and he just cuts a piece of Saul's robe off, 514 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,760 Speaker 1: and even that he feels so guilty about that. He 515 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,760 Speaker 1: goes and he repents before Saul. He says, Saul, father, 516 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,680 Speaker 1: I am sorry. I'm not trying to kill you. Look, 517 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,720 Speaker 1: this is proof that I had you in my hands 518 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,480 Speaker 1: and I didn't do it. And so one aspect of 519 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:49,200 Speaker 1: gentleness is trusting that God is just and that God 520 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:52,879 Speaker 1: will make God's plans happen and instead of trying to 521 00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:56,760 Speaker 1: take it under my own control. And David really exemplifies 522 00:25:56,800 --> 00:26:00,600 Speaker 1: that in that whole not going to assassinate even though 523 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:04,240 Speaker 1: Saul is trying to assassinate him scenario, and he just waits. 524 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,920 Speaker 1: He continues to wait, he continues to push back against 525 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,280 Speaker 1: the people who are like Saul's right here in your hands. 526 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,919 Speaker 1: We should just put a spirit through his heart. And 527 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,080 Speaker 1: he says, no, no, no, we cannot do that. That 528 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:17,240 Speaker 1: is not how God wants this to happen. And he 529 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,800 Speaker 1: just continues to show that gentleness. Now he's not like 530 00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:24,879 Speaker 1: everybody else, David's not perfect, but that's a time of 531 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:28,240 Speaker 1: his life when I think he really does exemplify gentleness. 532 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:31,280 Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, that's a really good example. And it's so 533 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:33,679 Speaker 2: interesting how all of the fruit of the spirit they 534 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:37,000 Speaker 2: really do lean on one another. And I've noticed that 535 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:40,280 Speaker 2: even within our conversation. So on the podcast, we always 536 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:42,800 Speaker 2: talk about love because it is the greatest commandment. So 537 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:45,040 Speaker 2: how does gentleness help us to love God and others 538 00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:48,360 Speaker 2: more faithfully? Like, is there a biblical example of love 539 00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:49,840 Speaker 2: that you think applies to this topic. 540 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,440 Speaker 1: Well, I just think that like living in gentleness first 541 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,920 Speaker 1: of all, places us in a right relationship with God. 542 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:58,400 Speaker 1: When we recognize his gentleness toward us and truly are 543 00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:01,440 Speaker 1: grateful for it, it helps us to love God more. 544 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,640 Speaker 1: And then that also helps us love others more because 545 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:07,560 Speaker 1: in Galatians five, it says the whole law is fulfill 546 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:09,760 Speaker 1: in one word, you should love your neighbor as yourself. 547 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,560 Speaker 1: But if you bite and devour one another, watch out 548 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,360 Speaker 1: that you were not consumed by one another. So we're 549 00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:17,840 Speaker 1: supposed to love our neighbor as ourselves, but living in 550 00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:21,640 Speaker 1: ungentleness is a way of not loving our neighbor as ourselves. 551 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:25,040 Speaker 1: And you know it says also in one of the 552 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:27,960 Speaker 1: Timothy's do not quarrel, but be gentle with everyone. So 553 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:30,879 Speaker 1: we can't live in quarreling and anger and still be 554 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:34,240 Speaker 1: fulfilling the law to love our neighbors. So living in 555 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:37,920 Speaker 1: gentleness solves that as we learn to do that slowly. 556 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:43,000 Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, well, Christy tells something you are loving right now? 557 00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,000 Speaker 1: You know what I love? Okay, this is I got 558 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:49,159 Speaker 1: this mug. It's a fellow. It's a round travel mug 559 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:53,639 Speaker 1: and I got and it is lovely. It is so strange. 560 00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:55,080 Speaker 1: When I opened it up, I was like, is that 561 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,520 Speaker 1: a te diffuser in there? It's actually splash guards and 562 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,800 Speaker 1: it's got it's like ceramic co it inside, So instead 563 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:05,240 Speaker 1: of a metal coffee mug that you're drinking through a 564 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:07,680 Speaker 1: little hole, you actually get to like open your mug 565 00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:09,520 Speaker 1: and drink from it while you're in the car, and 566 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,719 Speaker 1: the splash guard keeps you from spilling all over yourself, 567 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:13,919 Speaker 1: which is great. So you can drink it like you're 568 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,959 Speaker 1: drinking an actual cup of coffee wherever you are. And 569 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:19,399 Speaker 1: I was given it as a gift and I was like, 570 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,199 Speaker 1: this is the most amazing thing ever. I use it 571 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:21,920 Speaker 1: almost every day. 572 00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:23,800 Speaker 2: I think I would really like that because a lot 573 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,200 Speaker 2: of times my kids, like, I'm when I'm taken them 574 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:28,119 Speaker 2: to school, I have my actual mug with the handle 575 00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,720 Speaker 2: because I just like the coziness of it, and I'm like, Mom, 576 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,200 Speaker 2: this is ridiculous. You're just holding it and I mean, 577 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,640 Speaker 2: like it's dangerous that most like, why don't you take 578 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:36,320 Speaker 2: your travel mug? 579 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,480 Speaker 1: And I'm like, is this not the same? It was not? 580 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:43,600 Speaker 1: What's this one called a Fellow? I looked it up 581 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:46,120 Speaker 1: last night and I can find it on Amazon. 582 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,800 Speaker 2: So that send us the link, Send us the link. 583 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:50,240 Speaker 2: We'll include that in the show notes. 584 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,080 Speaker 1: It's great because it has like like a lift on it, 585 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:54,160 Speaker 1: like it really feels like drinking from a mug, except 586 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:55,840 Speaker 1: without splashing coffee in my nose. 587 00:28:56,120 --> 00:29:00,280 Speaker 2: Yes, what a brilliant design. I love that so much. Well, 588 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,160 Speaker 2: I know I want to stay connected with you. I'm 589 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:03,840 Speaker 2: sure listeners are going to want to you, So tell 590 00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:05,560 Speaker 2: us how we can best do that and purchase a 591 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:06,560 Speaker 2: copy of your new book. 592 00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:08,880 Speaker 1: Sure, well, I'll be talking about it on my Instagram page, 593 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:11,600 Speaker 1: which is Little Shoots Deep Roots. Normally I talk about 594 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:14,480 Speaker 1: family discipleship, which is why it's Little Shoots Deep Roots, 595 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,720 Speaker 1: but we're doing a little segue to talk about gentleness 596 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,720 Speaker 1: for a while. And then also on my website, which 597 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:22,520 Speaker 1: is the same Little Shoots Deep Roots dot com. And 598 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,880 Speaker 1: if you go to that Little Shoots Deep Roots dot 599 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:27,520 Speaker 1: com slash gentleness, you can find a bunch of order 600 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:30,880 Speaker 1: bonuses that I've created that are for you. But also 601 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:32,680 Speaker 1: if you happen to be a parent, there's also some 602 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,200 Speaker 1: resources there for helping teach your kids about gentleness. 603 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,680 Speaker 2: Awesome. Well, we'll include all that in the show notes 604 00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:40,200 Speaker 2: as well. But as we come to clothes, would you 605 00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:41,080 Speaker 2: pray for us please? 606 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,680 Speaker 1: I would love to God. Thank you, gott We thank 607 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:47,520 Speaker 1: you that you are the ultimate gentle answer that turns 608 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 1: away your own wrath. Thank you for turning it away 609 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:52,680 Speaker 1: from me and towards yourself, for taking that on yourself 610 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:57,160 Speaker 1: through your death and a resurrection were I was alienated 611 00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:59,840 Speaker 1: from you, but you reconciled me through your own body. 612 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,800 Speaker 1: You've done that for each of us today, and we 613 00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:05,680 Speaker 1: are so grateful for your gentleness toward us. Help us 614 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:08,720 Speaker 1: to live in this reality, to know who you are, 615 00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:10,479 Speaker 1: and that you've done that for us, so that we 616 00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:13,360 Speaker 1: can then pass that on to the people in our lives. 617 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:16,960 Speaker 1: There's nothing easy, God about conquering evil with good, but 618 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,280 Speaker 1: I know that through the power of your gentleness, this 619 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,479 Speaker 1: is possible. And I pray that you would give us 620 00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:25,760 Speaker 1: the strength and the will to want to live in 621 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,640 Speaker 1: gentleness and then the ability to grow in it as 622 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:30,360 Speaker 1: people in Jesus name. 623 00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,400 Speaker 2: Amen, Amen, Christy, thank you, thank you for helping us 624 00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:36,840 Speaker 2: to grow in gentleness. We appreciate your time today, no problem, 625 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 2: thanks for having me. Thank you so much for listening 626 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,880 Speaker 2: to the Love Offering podcast. I hope today's conversation reminded 627 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,240 Speaker 2: you that gentleness is not weakness. It is the quiet 628 00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 2: strength that comes from walking closely with Jesus. As we 629 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,240 Speaker 2: allow the Holy Spirit to shape our hearts, even the 630 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,600 Speaker 2: smallest responses can reflect us grace to the world around us. 631 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:55,240 Speaker 2: If this episode encouraged you share it with our friend 632 00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,040 Speaker 2: and leave a review. It helps others fund the show 633 00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:59,720 Speaker 2: and spreads the message of love even further. To connect 634 00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:02,320 Speaker 2: with me, visit me on my website at Rachelcadams dot com, 635 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:04,520 Speaker 2: where you can download the Love Offering Calendar, a free 636 00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:07,440 Speaker 2: resource filled to simple daily ways to love those around you. 637 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,320 Speaker 2: Be sure to look for Christy Thomas's new book, Everyday 638 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:14,320 Speaker 2: Prayers for Gentleness, embracing the radical strength of tenderness. Until 639 00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:17,440 Speaker 2: next time, Let's make our lives an offering of love.