1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:03,620 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:18,600 Speaker 2: You're listening to Everyday Prayers with Million Praying Moms, where 3 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,890 Speaker 2: we pray God's word for our families in the areas 4 00:00:20,930 --> 00:00:24,049 Speaker 2: we need it most. I'm your host, Nicolette Bell. Here, 5 00:00:24,130 --> 00:00:27,130 Speaker 2: we believe prayer isn't a last resort. It's our first 6 00:00:27,290 --> 00:00:30,700 Speaker 2: and best response in parenting, a partnership between for the 7 00:00:30,750 --> 00:00:34,339 Speaker 2: hearts of our children that God invites us into. Today, 8 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 2: we are continuing on in our Back to School Friday 9 00:00:39,420 --> 00:00:43,140 Speaker 2: conversation series, and I am excited to have Tara Cole 10 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:44,740 Speaker 2: back on the podcast with us. 11 00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:47,660 Speaker 1: Tara, welcome back to the show. Thank you for having me, Nicolette. 12 00:00:51,620 --> 00:00:54,990 Speaker 2: Yeah, so all of August and September, we are reading 13 00:00:55,030 --> 00:00:58,770 Speaker 2: through Tara's Everyday Prayers for the School Year Devotional. So 14 00:00:59,130 --> 00:01:01,930 Speaker 2: not too late for you to jump in. Grab a 15 00:01:01,950 --> 00:01:03,510 Speaker 2: copy of that book. You can pick it up on 16 00:01:03,550 --> 00:01:07,949 Speaker 2: our website, millionprayingmoms.com. Click the shop button or on Amazon, 17 00:01:08,050 --> 00:01:11,040 Speaker 2: anywhere you buy books. We'll give you a little discount 18 00:01:11,140 --> 00:01:13,459 Speaker 2: on our website if you put in the code PODCAST20. 19 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:16,810 Speaker 2: You'll get 20% off of your order for Everyday Prayers 20 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,470 Speaker 2: for the school year. But we are reading through that 21 00:01:19,530 --> 00:01:23,470 Speaker 2: as a community, this beginning back to school, because it's 22 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:28,390 Speaker 2: such a great way to reset as we enter into 23 00:01:28,510 --> 00:01:31,369 Speaker 2: the school year. So Tara, I have a preschooler. I'm 24 00:01:31,430 --> 00:01:34,350 Speaker 2: reading through the book. You have middle schoolers and high schoolers, 25 00:01:34,450 --> 00:01:35,510 Speaker 2: and you're reading through the book. 26 00:01:35,550 --> 00:01:40,580 Speaker 1: So it's applicable to everyone. Everyone. So we want to 27 00:01:40,610 --> 00:01:43,120 Speaker 1: encourage you to grab that copy. Read along with us 28 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:44,020 Speaker 1: as we go. 29 00:01:44,140 --> 00:01:47,460 Speaker 2: Tara's sharing devotionals on Mondays through the Fruit of the Spirit. 30 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,640 Speaker 2: I'm sharing on Tuesdays. And some of our other Everyday 31 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,440 Speaker 2: Prayers authors are speaking into Wednesdays and Thursdays. 32 00:01:53,490 --> 00:01:56,510 Speaker 1: And then we're having these conversations on Fridays. 33 00:01:56,950 --> 00:02:00,890 Speaker 2: So today, specifically, we're going to be talking about friendship. 34 00:02:01,170 --> 00:02:03,990 Speaker 2: So Tara, when you wrote Everyday Prayers for the school year, 35 00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:08,780 Speaker 2: The friendship sections, every time we share something about friendship, 36 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,019 Speaker 2: we put out a podcast about friendship, we share a 37 00:02:11,060 --> 00:02:16,080 Speaker 2: social post about friendship, we get so much interaction from moms. 38 00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:18,780 Speaker 2: And so we've kind of learned that this is something 39 00:02:18,910 --> 00:02:22,830 Speaker 2: that our community of moms really wants to pray for 40 00:02:23,090 --> 00:02:26,090 Speaker 2: their kids. Kind of tell us about discovering that and 41 00:02:26,110 --> 00:02:26,910 Speaker 2: what that looks like. 42 00:02:27,050 --> 00:02:30,990 Speaker 3: Well, I discovered it by my own family struggle with friendship. 43 00:02:31,169 --> 00:02:33,230 Speaker 1: I shared it several times, but. 44 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:39,560 Speaker 3: When Brooke first asked the Million Prayer Moms writers years 45 00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:41,619 Speaker 3: ago who would be able to write a school year book, 46 00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:45,200 Speaker 3: because we really wanted it to be for all schooling types, 47 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,579 Speaker 3: all schooling ages. And so since I was homeschooled as 48 00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:50,690 Speaker 3: a kid, my kids were currently in public school. We 49 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:52,590 Speaker 3: were open to private schooling. 50 00:02:53,250 --> 00:02:54,010 Speaker 1: I taught college. 51 00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:56,270 Speaker 3: My kids were in preschool and middle grades at the time. 52 00:02:56,730 --> 00:02:58,550 Speaker 3: It was a good fit because I covered a lot 53 00:02:58,590 --> 00:03:01,250 Speaker 3: of those bases. But before she even asked, I had 54 00:03:01,370 --> 00:03:04,830 Speaker 3: already written this card. And the first prayer on it 55 00:03:04,990 --> 00:03:07,170 Speaker 3: is that my son would make good friends who draw 56 00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:10,780 Speaker 3: him to you because he was struggling with friends so badly. 57 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,220 Speaker 1: And that was back in 2017. 58 00:03:12,220 --> 00:03:15,060 Speaker 3: So almost 10 years ago is when I prayed that 59 00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:18,410 Speaker 3: first prayer. over my son for friends. And then the 60 00:03:18,470 --> 00:03:22,790 Speaker 3: others following were teachers and things like that. But friends 61 00:03:22,889 --> 00:03:25,809 Speaker 3: was at the top of the list because like you said, 62 00:03:25,850 --> 00:03:28,420 Speaker 3: it resonates so much with all of us when our 63 00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:30,820 Speaker 3: kids are hurting and they don't have friends at school, 64 00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:33,960 Speaker 3: then it really breaks our mama's hearts. And I prayed 65 00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:37,720 Speaker 3: that prayer for five years for that son before it 66 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,310 Speaker 3: was finally just really answered. 67 00:03:40,090 --> 00:03:42,390 Speaker 1: And it was a long haul. It really hurt. 68 00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:49,290 Speaker 2: So much of our kids' friendship weighs on our hearts 69 00:03:49,410 --> 00:03:52,270 Speaker 2: as moms, because as much as we would like to 70 00:03:52,670 --> 00:03:55,160 Speaker 2: go up to a third grader and tell them to 71 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 2: be friends with our children, we. 72 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 1: Can't do that. We can't make them. 73 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 2: And so we feel so helpless and powerless as moms 74 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,920 Speaker 2: because we want to help our children. 75 00:04:04,020 --> 00:04:06,390 Speaker 1: We are so wired to want to help our children. 76 00:04:06,430 --> 00:04:09,630 Speaker 2: When my seven-month-old cries, I just want to do whatever 77 00:04:09,690 --> 00:04:12,310 Speaker 2: I can to fix what he is crying about. Right. 78 00:04:12,330 --> 00:04:14,550 Speaker 2: And that doesn't go away as our kids get older. 79 00:04:14,970 --> 00:04:18,590 Speaker 2: I'm beginning to see just the, the, the ever beginnings 80 00:04:18,650 --> 00:04:21,780 Speaker 2: of that with my daughter, who's about to be five. Um, 81 00:04:22,180 --> 00:04:24,580 Speaker 2: and you can already kind of hear that. Well, I 82 00:04:24,620 --> 00:04:25,900 Speaker 2: don't want to play with her, but I want to 83 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:26,300 Speaker 2: play with her. 84 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,580 Speaker 1: And I'm like, really? Y'all are five, you know, get, 85 00:04:28,740 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 1: let's get through this. 86 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:32,360 Speaker 2: Right. Um, so I know it's coming with her, but 87 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,840 Speaker 2: we can't go up to another child and make them 88 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 2: be friends with our child. Right. So, We can feel 89 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 2: so helpless. And so just like we don't know what 90 00:04:41,620 --> 00:04:44,460 Speaker 2: to do for our children. And so I think that's 91 00:04:44,740 --> 00:04:48,120 Speaker 2: so often we find ourselves in this powerless place as moms. 92 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,279 Speaker 2: So what have you learned over the years about praying 93 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:55,539 Speaker 2: for our child's friendships that has caused you to feel 94 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,060 Speaker 2: empowered as a mom? 95 00:04:57,260 --> 00:05:00,660 Speaker 3: Well, there are lots of things I've been praying over 96 00:05:00,779 --> 00:05:04,580 Speaker 3: the kids' friendships and in lots of various ways. One 97 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:08,720 Speaker 3: thing that I learned because our family mission statement, for 98 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:12,720 Speaker 3: lack of a better term, is Mark 12, 30 through 31. 99 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,620 Speaker 3: And it's not that because I'm cool and smart. It's 100 00:05:14,660 --> 00:05:16,060 Speaker 3: because I'm lazy and don't want to come up with 101 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:19,289 Speaker 3: anything else. Whenever we were doing something with one of 102 00:05:19,350 --> 00:05:22,169 Speaker 3: the things at church and it was getting all complicated. 103 00:05:22,210 --> 00:05:24,110 Speaker 1: I'm like, let's just go back to the greatest command. 104 00:05:24,810 --> 00:05:27,690 Speaker 3: But I am shocked, I shouldn't be, of how well 105 00:05:27,730 --> 00:05:31,810 Speaker 3: that applies to all parts of our life. So in 106 00:05:31,870 --> 00:05:35,630 Speaker 3: applying it to Friendship, I try to really get my 107 00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:39,670 Speaker 3: kids a foundation with Jesus and their relationship with God. 108 00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:42,890 Speaker 3: So loving God with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength. 109 00:05:42,950 --> 00:05:45,630 Speaker 3: Like many of you, I've been praying over them for years. 110 00:05:45,770 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 3: I try to connect them to God to help them 111 00:05:47,940 --> 00:05:51,340 Speaker 3: abide in Him through various activities and things throughout our days. 112 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:52,340 Speaker 1: And I have for years. 113 00:05:52,940 --> 00:05:56,900 Speaker 3: So first, getting that relationship with God solid, because whenever 114 00:05:56,940 --> 00:06:00,039 Speaker 3: they have that relationship pretty solid, then when these relationships 115 00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:03,790 Speaker 3: go sideways, it hurts. It breaks our hearts still, but 116 00:06:04,210 --> 00:06:07,210 Speaker 3: we know the truth of who we are. And then 117 00:06:07,570 --> 00:06:10,339 Speaker 3: something we always miss in that verse is loving others 118 00:06:11,060 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 3: as we love ourselves. Because I found that a lot 119 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,779 Speaker 3: of times my kids and myself growing up, because I moved, 120 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:19,700 Speaker 3: I think I was in something like six different schools 121 00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:23,219 Speaker 3: over the course of 12 years before I finally homeschooled 122 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:26,219 Speaker 3: because I was sick of it all. And it's quite frankly, 123 00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:28,940 Speaker 3: sick of making friends over and over again. But one 124 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,420 Speaker 3: of the things that we miss in that verse is 125 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,700 Speaker 3: that we love others as we love ourselves. So often 126 00:06:34,740 --> 00:06:36,710 Speaker 3: we're trying to get friends to fill up a hole 127 00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:40,260 Speaker 3: in ourselves, to fill up our loneliness. But when we 128 00:06:40,380 --> 00:06:43,239 Speaker 3: anchor our kids in their identity and God and who 129 00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 3: they are in him, Ephesians 1 is a great chapter. 130 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,370 Speaker 3: If you want to really show them who they are 131 00:06:50,430 --> 00:06:53,490 Speaker 3: in him, especially if they've already become a Christian, then 132 00:06:53,550 --> 00:06:57,430 Speaker 3: that chapter is just chock full of just describing who 133 00:06:57,510 --> 00:06:59,730 Speaker 3: they are and their gifts that God has given them. 134 00:07:00,490 --> 00:07:04,630 Speaker 3: But when we anchor them in a strong identity in 135 00:07:04,710 --> 00:07:08,180 Speaker 3: who they are, then they're less likely to go looking 136 00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:11,080 Speaker 3: for friends to fill up a hole in themselves. They're 137 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 3: less likely to try to do things or be persuaded 138 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:16,940 Speaker 3: by the crowd because they feel like they need to 139 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,600 Speaker 3: fit in and they're not worthy or not enough or 140 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:23,020 Speaker 3: something like that. So I found that the stronger my kids' 141 00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:28,080 Speaker 3: identities became and their relationship with God, then yes, We 142 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:29,760 Speaker 3: still had to make some changes in our family for 143 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:33,260 Speaker 3: them to find friends, but it was less of a 144 00:07:33,340 --> 00:07:36,060 Speaker 3: filling up a hole and more of a loving others 145 00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:39,550 Speaker 3: as they love themselves and becoming friends by loving others 146 00:07:39,650 --> 00:07:44,050 Speaker 3: well rather than chasing them down desperately, which really changes 147 00:07:44,070 --> 00:07:45,730 Speaker 3: a lot. When we have someone even come up to 148 00:07:45,790 --> 00:07:49,270 Speaker 3: us adults, as adults who are desperate for friends, I mean, 149 00:07:49,290 --> 00:07:50,490 Speaker 3: we're kind of like, ugh. 150 00:07:51,010 --> 00:07:52,940 Speaker 1: But whenever they. 151 00:07:52,770 --> 00:07:56,640 Speaker 3: Are just themselves fully and confident God made them to be, 152 00:07:57,180 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 3: then we're much more likely to appreciate them and be friends, 153 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 3: even when they're much different than us, because they're not 154 00:08:03,580 --> 00:08:06,010 Speaker 3: desperate and needing us to fill up something that only 155 00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:06,690 Speaker 3: God can fill. 156 00:08:08,790 --> 00:08:10,990 Speaker 1: That's so good. That's such a great starting point. 157 00:08:11,330 --> 00:08:14,930 Speaker 2: And that is something that we can not control necessarily, 158 00:08:14,970 --> 00:08:17,710 Speaker 2: but we can influence, right? We can set up the 159 00:08:17,750 --> 00:08:22,460 Speaker 2: parameters in our days, in our family routines that put 160 00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 2: that in front of our children over and over and 161 00:08:24,820 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 2: over again. And that can allow us to feel empowered 162 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:32,260 Speaker 2: in those situations. So Tara, this resonated with people so 163 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 2: much that we have decided to create an Everyday Prayers 164 00:08:36,710 --> 00:08:41,079 Speaker 2: For Your Children's Friendships, devotional, spoiler alert, Tara's working on 165 00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:43,160 Speaker 2: that manuscript, and that is going to be coming out 166 00:08:44,059 --> 00:08:47,250 Speaker 2: in the coming, we don't really know exactly, a year 167 00:08:47,270 --> 00:08:50,089 Speaker 2: or so, probably, that she's going to still be working 168 00:08:50,210 --> 00:08:52,880 Speaker 2: on that, and we will keep you all posted on that. And, 169 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,179 Speaker 2: but we are so excited about it, but you have 170 00:08:55,220 --> 00:09:00,600 Speaker 2: been just living in researching about friendships, uh, studying that, 171 00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:03,960 Speaker 2: what does scripture say about our friendships just for, for 172 00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:06,620 Speaker 2: a while now. So talk to us a little bit 173 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:08,720 Speaker 2: about some of the things you've been learning. What's the 174 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:11,660 Speaker 2: Lord been teaching you and how has that affected the 175 00:09:11,710 --> 00:09:13,290 Speaker 2: way you've praying for your kids? 176 00:09:13,550 --> 00:09:16,330 Speaker 3: So what I'm learning is like I already mentioned, um, 177 00:09:16,450 --> 00:09:20,089 Speaker 3: applying Mark 12, 30 through 31 to our families and friendships. 178 00:09:20,790 --> 00:09:23,630 Speaker 3: And then, um, We talked about this kind of before 179 00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,429 Speaker 3: we got on and I had already written about it 180 00:09:25,470 --> 00:09:28,600 Speaker 3: in the book. So that was really interesting. And right 181 00:09:28,620 --> 00:09:31,140 Speaker 3: now we're calling it Everyday Prayers for Our Children's Friendships. 182 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,260 Speaker 3: So you can just pencil that in. We haven't told 183 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:34,819 Speaker 3: anybody yet. So you guys are the first to know. 184 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:41,130 Speaker 3: But as I'm working on that book, when we're teaching 185 00:09:41,170 --> 00:09:44,170 Speaker 3: our kids to love others as they love themselves, then 186 00:09:44,210 --> 00:09:46,910 Speaker 3: hopefully they start seeing others. And we can even point 187 00:09:47,150 --> 00:09:50,320 Speaker 3: out instead of chasing the crowd or the popular kids 188 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:53,840 Speaker 3: or that group over there, look for others who are 189 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,830 Speaker 3: feeling lonely. Look for others who are sitting by themselves 190 00:09:56,970 --> 00:09:59,050 Speaker 3: or feeling left out and things like that. So that's 191 00:09:59,170 --> 00:10:03,220 Speaker 3: one great way to find friends another is sometimes you 192 00:10:03,260 --> 00:10:06,590 Speaker 3: have to move where your family is participating in activities 193 00:10:06,710 --> 00:10:09,840 Speaker 3: for example We were at a sweet little church that 194 00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:12,680 Speaker 3: I love dearly, but there were zero kids my kids 195 00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:15,449 Speaker 3: age in that church because it was so small. 196 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:17,990 Speaker 1: None of the kids there went to their school. 197 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:21,189 Speaker 3: And so there were kids like older than them or 198 00:10:21,290 --> 00:10:23,189 Speaker 3: close in age to them, but they had never like 199 00:10:23,309 --> 00:10:26,439 Speaker 3: clicked to be besties or anything like that. And so 200 00:10:26,940 --> 00:10:29,709 Speaker 3: I had felt God tugging me towards this other church 201 00:10:29,950 --> 00:10:32,650 Speaker 3: for a long time. And I kept saying, yes, we 202 00:10:32,670 --> 00:10:35,069 Speaker 3: might switch, but I don't want to go there. And 203 00:10:36,020 --> 00:10:40,610 Speaker 3: there's where we ended up. It was such a blessing 204 00:10:40,690 --> 00:10:42,670 Speaker 3: and it was clearly God-led. Like I said, I felt 205 00:10:42,690 --> 00:10:44,790 Speaker 3: a Holy Spirit tug for a long time to join 206 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:45,770 Speaker 3: the other community. 207 00:10:46,290 --> 00:10:47,400 Speaker 1: Nothing big. 208 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,500 Speaker 3: I wasn't mad at our church we were at. It 209 00:10:49,540 --> 00:10:51,439 Speaker 3: just was a Holy Spirit tug that it was time. 210 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:56,500 Speaker 3: And when we went there, I still remember that whenever 211 00:10:56,540 --> 00:10:58,260 Speaker 3: they do the prayer and scripture in a lot of 212 00:10:58,300 --> 00:11:01,060 Speaker 3: churches before the sermon, the dad would get up and 213 00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:03,620 Speaker 3: say a prayer. And then the child, the son would 214 00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:05,940 Speaker 3: read the scripture and they'd say which school district, where 215 00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:09,530 Speaker 3: they were from. time after time, as we were visiting 216 00:11:09,550 --> 00:11:12,020 Speaker 3: that church, these were kids my boys knew from school. 217 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,079 Speaker 1: And they're like, oh, I recognize him. Oh, I know him. Hey, 218 00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:16,079 Speaker 1: that's my school. 219 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,679 Speaker 3: And I was like, okay, God, I hear you loud 220 00:11:18,740 --> 00:11:21,840 Speaker 3: and clear. We need to move ourselves to a different 221 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,479 Speaker 3: community in order to help them find friends. 222 00:11:24,580 --> 00:11:27,760 Speaker 1: And so that helped a lot. Other things that have. 223 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:31,040 Speaker 3: Helped is seeking out community on purpose. Because a lot 224 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,020 Speaker 3: of times when we're looking for friends for our kids 225 00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:35,540 Speaker 3: are kind of scared, we kind of pull back and isolate. 226 00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:39,800 Speaker 3: But I found getting them out into the community, whether 227 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:44,240 Speaker 3: it's activities they enjoy, whether it's interest that they have 228 00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:48,929 Speaker 3: or sports or something like that. Church and youth group activities, 229 00:11:49,790 --> 00:11:53,810 Speaker 3: little children's activities, VBS are great ways to find friends, 230 00:11:54,070 --> 00:11:57,690 Speaker 3: serving opportunities. So if you can serve alongside somebody and 231 00:11:57,809 --> 00:12:01,080 Speaker 3: alongside another family. But a lot of times we want 232 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,890 Speaker 3: people to come looking for us. But if we just 233 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,079 Speaker 3: show up and put ourselves in the road of friendship, 234 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,760 Speaker 3: kind of put ourselves in the river of friendship, not 235 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:13,360 Speaker 3: every friendship will last forever or be besties or anything 236 00:12:13,380 --> 00:12:16,480 Speaker 3: like that. But at least you have more opportunities for 237 00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:18,540 Speaker 3: your kids to find friends. And as my kids have 238 00:12:18,580 --> 00:12:21,839 Speaker 3: gotten older and gotten into those activities, they have found 239 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 3: their people. And a lot of the activities they're doing 240 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,000 Speaker 3: is where they have found them. And so I'm really 241 00:12:27,059 --> 00:12:29,939 Speaker 3: glad God pushed us out of that place where there 242 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:34,820 Speaker 3: really just weren't opportunities for friendship for them. And we 243 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,720 Speaker 3: started getting involved in more things that would give them 244 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:39,510 Speaker 3: more opportunities to even connect with other kids to be friends. 245 00:12:40,990 --> 00:12:43,929 Speaker 2: That's so good because we can so often have that 246 00:12:43,990 --> 00:12:47,090 Speaker 2: mentality of no one's being nice to my kid. 247 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:49,460 Speaker 1: No one's being nice to me as an adult. 248 00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:53,640 Speaker 2: You know, no one's coming and asking me to do 249 00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:56,620 Speaker 2: these things. And it's like, well, am I asking others? 250 00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:59,110 Speaker 2: You know, am I putting... putting myself out there? Are 251 00:12:59,140 --> 00:13:02,470 Speaker 2: we inviting a family over for dinner? Are we going 252 00:13:02,510 --> 00:13:06,770 Speaker 2: on that play date? Are we connecting instead of, I 253 00:13:07,030 --> 00:13:09,750 Speaker 2: took my daughter to a little gymnastics lesson and I 254 00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:12,589 Speaker 2: introduced myself to the lady sitting next to me instead 255 00:13:12,610 --> 00:13:14,270 Speaker 2: of just sitting there on my phone and had a 256 00:13:14,309 --> 00:13:17,770 Speaker 2: great conversation with her. And so it's just a matter 257 00:13:17,910 --> 00:13:21,319 Speaker 2: of what is our energy? What is our effort? And listen, 258 00:13:21,420 --> 00:13:24,089 Speaker 2: like we know you're tired. Like moms are tired. 259 00:13:24,140 --> 00:13:26,550 Speaker 1: We are doing, I just wanted to sit there and 260 00:13:26,590 --> 00:13:29,069 Speaker 1: look at my phone. Um, but I didn't. 261 00:13:29,170 --> 00:13:30,670 Speaker 2: And I looked at the lady next to me and 262 00:13:30,690 --> 00:13:32,849 Speaker 2: got to meet her and, and get to know her 263 00:13:32,890 --> 00:13:34,850 Speaker 2: a little bit. Right. And that's just such a simple 264 00:13:34,990 --> 00:13:38,490 Speaker 2: example of just kind of picking our eyes up, looking 265 00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:42,340 Speaker 2: around and being the first to say, Hey, I'm Nicolette. 266 00:13:42,820 --> 00:13:45,220 Speaker 2: My daughter's Josie Lou. It's so nice to meet you. 267 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:49,520 Speaker 2: You know, and, Who's your kid that's here? And just 268 00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:52,660 Speaker 2: to talk with people like that. And so, you know, 269 00:13:52,710 --> 00:13:58,369 Speaker 2: not missing those moments. You know, we don't know the 270 00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:03,210 Speaker 2: people around us and what they're walking through or going through, 271 00:14:03,730 --> 00:14:05,970 Speaker 2: you know, and to keep our eyes open to that 272 00:14:06,170 --> 00:14:09,610 Speaker 2: as adults models that for us. our children. 273 00:14:09,630 --> 00:14:12,550 Speaker 3: And it's so important because two of my friends I 274 00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:15,030 Speaker 3: see frequently right now, kind of I do life with, 275 00:14:15,050 --> 00:14:17,350 Speaker 3: they're probably some of my closest friends, are friends I 276 00:14:17,410 --> 00:14:21,620 Speaker 3: met by saying hi. One was another mom at a 277 00:14:21,630 --> 00:14:24,020 Speaker 3: party at my son's school. And I don't volunteer for much. 278 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,820 Speaker 3: I just always try to show up for the parties 279 00:14:25,860 --> 00:14:29,060 Speaker 3: in elementary school. I still remember when I met her 280 00:14:29,140 --> 00:14:31,740 Speaker 3: and said hi to her. And she's the sweetest person 281 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,260 Speaker 3: on the face of the earth. And then my other friend, 282 00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:37,780 Speaker 3: we were at karate. And instead of sitting there scrolling, 283 00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:40,130 Speaker 3: doom scrolling, I said, hi. And now we get together 284 00:14:40,210 --> 00:14:43,630 Speaker 3: once a week and have four years. Neither of them 285 00:14:43,670 --> 00:14:45,590 Speaker 3: were ones I would have ever found doom scrolling because 286 00:14:45,610 --> 00:14:50,570 Speaker 3: they're not even on social media. But those are friendships 287 00:14:50,610 --> 00:14:53,390 Speaker 3: and connections I made. And the thing is, since we 288 00:14:53,410 --> 00:14:57,420 Speaker 3: were already at similar activities with kids at similar stage, 289 00:14:58,060 --> 00:15:00,700 Speaker 3: They're ones that are actually closer because I actively do 290 00:15:00,780 --> 00:15:03,340 Speaker 3: life with them. We run into each other without trying. 291 00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:05,820 Speaker 3: Or now that we've stopped karate and moved on to 292 00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:09,260 Speaker 3: other activities, we purposely still get together because we made 293 00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:12,010 Speaker 3: a connection when we were doing life together. But they're 294 00:15:12,030 --> 00:15:14,870 Speaker 3: both friends that I just said hi to and passing. 295 00:15:15,190 --> 00:15:16,930 Speaker 3: Some of my other close friends are ones I had 296 00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,930 Speaker 3: to reach out and be brave and say hi to. 297 00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:21,250 Speaker 3: And a lot of times that can feel really scary, 298 00:15:21,270 --> 00:15:25,030 Speaker 3: especially if we're introverts or our kids are introverts. I'm 299 00:15:25,070 --> 00:15:27,410 Speaker 3: kind of in the middle. I can extrovert on TV, 300 00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:33,460 Speaker 3: but I really prefer to be more introverted and calmer 301 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,420 Speaker 3: or just quieter sometimes. 302 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:37,040 Speaker 2: Yeah. 303 00:15:37,460 --> 00:15:42,820 Speaker 1: But I have found that... If we use W questions. 304 00:15:42,790 --> 00:15:46,150 Speaker 3: To engage in conversation, and those are ones that keep 305 00:15:46,190 --> 00:15:49,980 Speaker 3: the answers from being a yes, no, or fine. So like, 306 00:15:50,180 --> 00:15:53,740 Speaker 3: who is your kid on this team? What made you 307 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:58,920 Speaker 3: guys decide to join? Where are you from? W questions 308 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,440 Speaker 3: are really good because they prevent the conversation from coming 309 00:16:02,460 --> 00:16:04,270 Speaker 3: to a dead end. Sure, if they don't want to 310 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,109 Speaker 3: engage in conversation, they'll come to a dead end pretty quickly. 311 00:16:07,150 --> 00:16:08,410 Speaker 3: And then you can be like, oh, they don't want 312 00:16:08,430 --> 00:16:10,630 Speaker 3: to talk. But no harm, no foul. The worst they 313 00:16:10,650 --> 00:16:12,430 Speaker 3: can do is just be like, oh, I don't want 314 00:16:12,450 --> 00:16:12,690 Speaker 3: to talk. 315 00:16:13,310 --> 00:16:14,870 Speaker 1: Okay, no big deal. 316 00:16:15,430 --> 00:16:18,520 Speaker 3: Don't get your feelings hurt if something happens like that. 317 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,820 Speaker 3: But W questions are a great way to just start 318 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:27,860 Speaker 3: an easy conversation. And depending on your child's personality, Sometimes 319 00:16:27,890 --> 00:16:30,060 Speaker 3: a big church like the one we're going to doesn't work. 320 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 3: I have another friend whose child is a huge introvert 321 00:16:32,940 --> 00:16:35,400 Speaker 3: and they ended up at a smaller church and that 322 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:39,340 Speaker 3: worked a lot better for that child. So with introverts, 323 00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:42,400 Speaker 3: it might work better to get them together one-on-one with 324 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,660 Speaker 3: other kids instead of trying to force a big group 325 00:16:44,860 --> 00:16:47,140 Speaker 3: or maybe they connect with a kid at gymnastics and 326 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:48,960 Speaker 3: then you know, hey, they're an introvert, but I can 327 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,900 Speaker 3: have that mom on the play date and we can 328 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:52,320 Speaker 3: meet each other or something like that. 329 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:52,680 Speaker 1: And hang out. 330 00:16:53,770 --> 00:16:55,950 Speaker 3: Instead of trying to force an introvert into a big 331 00:16:56,010 --> 00:16:59,300 Speaker 3: group all the time, just be aware of your child's 332 00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:02,920 Speaker 3: personalities and kind of base how you're going to try 333 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:06,209 Speaker 3: to connect with others on your child's personality. Instead of 334 00:17:06,830 --> 00:17:09,970 Speaker 3: if you're a big introvert thinking they always have to 335 00:17:10,010 --> 00:17:11,950 Speaker 3: like big groups of friends and why do you not 336 00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:14,910 Speaker 3: like this? Or if you're yourself or introvert like my 337 00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:16,850 Speaker 3: mom was, not thinking. 338 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,400 Speaker 1: That one-on-one is always the best way. 339 00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:22,490 Speaker 3: Realizing your child might need big groups and that's okay too. 340 00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:25,640 Speaker 3: But really studying who your child is and helping them 341 00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:28,660 Speaker 3: connect with kids in the way God made them. But 342 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:30,940 Speaker 3: W questions are the ones I kind of keep in 343 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:34,649 Speaker 3: my back pocket to start conversations with strangers when it 344 00:17:34,670 --> 00:17:35,730 Speaker 3: can feel really awkward. 345 00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:39,330 Speaker 1: Oh, that's a great tip. That is a great tip. 346 00:17:40,030 --> 00:17:42,470 Speaker 2: I joked that like my first thing to go to 347 00:17:42,530 --> 00:17:45,609 Speaker 2: at Josie's preschool a couple of years ago when she 348 00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:48,169 Speaker 2: was just starting like a mother's morning out program. I 349 00:17:48,190 --> 00:17:49,659 Speaker 2: came home and I told my husband, I'm like, I 350 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,920 Speaker 2: feel like I'm in middle school all over again. Like 351 00:17:52,140 --> 00:17:56,139 Speaker 2: all the parents are just sitting there awkwardly. And I 352 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,379 Speaker 2: kind of just looked around for a minute and then 353 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,290 Speaker 2: eventually I just went, Hey, I'm Nicolette. 354 00:18:01,350 --> 00:18:03,050 Speaker 1: It's so nice to meet you because I'm. 355 00:18:03,010 --> 00:18:05,409 Speaker 2: Such an extrovert that I am like that person that 356 00:18:05,430 --> 00:18:07,409 Speaker 2: you're probably like, whoa, that's a little too much, you know? 357 00:18:08,290 --> 00:18:10,530 Speaker 1: But I was like, man, are we in middle school 358 00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:11,730 Speaker 1: all over again? 359 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:15,540 Speaker 2: So it's, you know, we don't outgrow this as we 360 00:18:15,580 --> 00:18:17,560 Speaker 2: walk through different phases of life. 361 00:18:17,820 --> 00:18:19,840 Speaker 1: And I love what you said too about seasons. 362 00:18:19,940 --> 00:18:22,720 Speaker 2: And I think that's so important for us to teach 363 00:18:22,780 --> 00:18:26,369 Speaker 2: our children about friendships as well. You know, some of 364 00:18:26,460 --> 00:18:30,780 Speaker 2: my friendships have been not necessarily ended, but they're not 365 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,280 Speaker 2: the same that they used to be because my season 366 00:18:33,340 --> 00:18:35,859 Speaker 2: of life has changed. And we teach our children that 367 00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:38,700 Speaker 2: that's normal and that's okay. And that we don't always 368 00:18:38,770 --> 00:18:42,290 Speaker 2: have to maintain a friendship at the same level. And 369 00:18:42,310 --> 00:18:44,070 Speaker 2: I have a dear friend from college that I haven't 370 00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:46,510 Speaker 2: talked to in a while. But I reached out to 371 00:18:46,530 --> 00:18:48,210 Speaker 2: her this week about something. We're going to have to 372 00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:51,750 Speaker 2: be visiting her area for something coming up. And I 373 00:18:51,770 --> 00:18:53,330 Speaker 2: reached out to her this week and was able to 374 00:18:53,369 --> 00:18:56,590 Speaker 2: reconnect with her. And she's helping us find a place 375 00:18:56,650 --> 00:18:59,980 Speaker 2: to stay. It just is a beautiful connection. And so 376 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,520 Speaker 2: that was such a reminder of kind of this like 377 00:19:03,140 --> 00:19:06,340 Speaker 2: seasonal friendships that may not always look the same. 378 00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:08,619 Speaker 1: I feel like that's easier in adulthood, but that. 379 00:19:08,540 --> 00:19:10,960 Speaker 2: Changes with our kids too, based on the activities they're 380 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,460 Speaker 2: involved in and the church you're going to and the 381 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:14,020 Speaker 2: different things. 382 00:19:14,060 --> 00:19:16,619 Speaker 1: But that seasonality is okay. 383 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:18,900 Speaker 3: It is. And it's so hard a lot of times 384 00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:21,340 Speaker 3: for them to think they're not friends with me anymore. 385 00:19:21,380 --> 00:19:23,580 Speaker 3: They're not, they don't want to talk to me or something. 386 00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:27,980 Speaker 3: Like you said, seasons happen and change, especially as kids 387 00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:30,840 Speaker 3: are going through puberty and stuff. I've noticed that the 388 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:34,800 Speaker 3: way they're acting changes a lot. And if you have teenagers, 389 00:19:34,820 --> 00:19:36,340 Speaker 3: you know what I mean? If you have little kids, 390 00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:40,010 Speaker 3: you'll find out. But, Kids just get awkward. And so 391 00:19:40,150 --> 00:19:42,490 Speaker 3: they might stop talking to your kid and your kid 392 00:19:42,530 --> 00:19:45,630 Speaker 3: may have not done anything wrong. It's probably all about 393 00:19:45,670 --> 00:19:47,810 Speaker 3: something going on in that kid's life or in their 394 00:19:47,850 --> 00:19:49,670 Speaker 3: head or they're feeling insecure because of the way they're 395 00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:52,439 Speaker 3: being treated. way they're changing and all the hormones going on. 396 00:19:53,190 --> 00:19:55,910 Speaker 3: So teaching your kid not to get offended at things 397 00:19:55,950 --> 00:19:56,430 Speaker 3: like that. 398 00:19:56,470 --> 00:19:57,990 Speaker 1: Yeah, not to take it personally. 399 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,870 Speaker 3: Do not take changes like that personally, but to let 400 00:20:00,930 --> 00:20:04,270 Speaker 3: it go. And again, when their identity is really grounded 401 00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:06,870 Speaker 3: in who they are in Jesus and that's the core 402 00:20:06,890 --> 00:20:09,170 Speaker 3: of them, it helps a little bit with them not 403 00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:13,140 Speaker 3: feeling so insecure when friendships change or when seasons change 404 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,439 Speaker 3: or when friends get weird in middle school and high 405 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:19,399 Speaker 3: school because everything's changing at that time. Centering them on 406 00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:23,040 Speaker 3: God and who they are in Him really helps with 407 00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:27,000 Speaker 3: a lot of this hard times with friendships and them 408 00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:27,700 Speaker 3: changing and. 409 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,690 Speaker 1: Stuff like that. Yeah, that's so good. 410 00:20:30,850 --> 00:20:32,889 Speaker 2: That's such a good way to look at it and 411 00:20:32,930 --> 00:20:36,030 Speaker 2: just something that's so important for them to know in life. 412 00:20:37,109 --> 00:20:38,869 Speaker 2: I want to dig in as we're kind of finishing it. 413 00:20:38,869 --> 00:20:40,710 Speaker 2: We're going to wrap up our conversation here in just 414 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,960 Speaker 2: a bit, but I do want to talk. You've talked 415 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:47,060 Speaker 2: about Mark 12, and I want to kind of dig 416 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,090 Speaker 2: into that a little bit more. How do you feel 417 00:20:49,130 --> 00:20:52,950 Speaker 2: that scripture teaches us about friendship and how should that 418 00:20:53,030 --> 00:20:56,830 Speaker 2: shape the way that we pray for our children? 419 00:20:57,250 --> 00:21:00,949 Speaker 3: Well, as I was looking through the Bible about friendship, 420 00:21:00,990 --> 00:21:03,679 Speaker 3: and quite honestly, I just went through and pulled out 421 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:06,560 Speaker 3: every verse on friendship I could find that addressed it 422 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:09,640 Speaker 3: and then started grouping them together and studying them. 423 00:21:10,180 --> 00:21:13,020 Speaker 1: I noticed that almost none of them have anything to. 424 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,840 Speaker 3: Do with waiting in our corner for someone to come 425 00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:19,010 Speaker 3: say hi to us. They are all about how we 426 00:21:19,090 --> 00:21:21,649 Speaker 3: treat each other, how we react to each other, the 427 00:21:21,730 --> 00:21:24,280 Speaker 3: quality of our friendships. Because that was one of the 428 00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:26,979 Speaker 3: reasons I started praying for friends so much for my 429 00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:29,910 Speaker 3: kids is It's because I had heard time and time 430 00:21:29,950 --> 00:21:32,650 Speaker 3: again that to get kids from 10 to 20 successfully 431 00:21:32,970 --> 00:21:36,190 Speaker 3: often depends on their friends. When they become teenagers, their 432 00:21:36,230 --> 00:21:40,840 Speaker 3: friends have so much influence over who they are developing, 433 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:44,160 Speaker 3: the interests that they hold, what they start thinking, because 434 00:21:44,180 --> 00:21:46,280 Speaker 3: we're not around them anymore. Unless you're homeschooling, you're not 435 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:49,430 Speaker 3: constantly around your kids. And even then with the activities 436 00:21:49,450 --> 00:21:52,050 Speaker 3: they're doing, you may not be constantly around them. And 437 00:21:52,150 --> 00:21:55,940 Speaker 3: so their friends have such an influence on them between 438 00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:58,840 Speaker 3: 10 and 20. I started really praying for who those 439 00:21:58,900 --> 00:22:03,119 Speaker 3: friends were and watching those friendships and monitoring them. So 440 00:22:03,140 --> 00:22:05,260 Speaker 3: the Bible has lots to say about the quality of 441 00:22:05,340 --> 00:22:07,919 Speaker 3: our friends, having more than just one or two friends. 442 00:22:07,980 --> 00:22:12,709 Speaker 3: It talks about Ecclesiastes about having a cord of three strands, 443 00:22:12,850 --> 00:22:16,790 Speaker 3: not just two. It talks about greeting people, you see, 444 00:22:16,970 --> 00:22:20,270 Speaker 3: and I think it's John 1, where over and over again, 445 00:22:20,330 --> 00:22:24,429 Speaker 3: as Jesus is calling his disciples, he's inviting them. I 446 00:22:24,450 --> 00:22:28,879 Speaker 3: think six times within those first two chapters of John, 447 00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 3: he invites Andrew, or John tells Andrew, and then Andrew 448 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:36,409 Speaker 3: tells Peter, and then it's this whole invitation going on. 449 00:22:36,859 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 3: before Jesus's ministry even gets started, it gets started with 450 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:44,530 Speaker 3: a invitation. And so that is so important as we 451 00:22:44,590 --> 00:22:48,150 Speaker 3: read scripture that it's again, loving others as we love ourselves. 452 00:22:48,270 --> 00:22:52,230 Speaker 3: It's reaching out to others and then monitoring the quality 453 00:22:52,270 --> 00:22:55,280 Speaker 3: of those friendships. I've had friends who noticed their kids 454 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,280 Speaker 3: were getting in with the wrong crowd and And they've 455 00:22:58,340 --> 00:23:00,580 Speaker 3: done stuff as drastically as pulling them out of school 456 00:23:00,619 --> 00:23:02,980 Speaker 3: and homeschooling them for a while or moving to a 457 00:23:03,020 --> 00:23:07,160 Speaker 3: different school altogether. And that was successful for that family. 458 00:23:07,340 --> 00:23:10,810 Speaker 3: Every family does not have that option. But doing whatever 459 00:23:10,869 --> 00:23:13,450 Speaker 3: it takes to get your kids away from bad influences 460 00:23:13,970 --> 00:23:17,490 Speaker 3: is really, really important during these years. And that can 461 00:23:17,510 --> 00:23:19,970 Speaker 3: be hard when it's so hard to monitor all the 462 00:23:20,010 --> 00:23:22,490 Speaker 3: things they're in, like we talked about with AI a 463 00:23:22,780 --> 00:23:23,209 Speaker 3: few weeks ago. 464 00:23:25,100 --> 00:23:28,460 Speaker 1: Yeah, it can be overwhelming. I think there's a fine 465 00:23:28,500 --> 00:23:29,500 Speaker 1: balance between that. 466 00:23:30,300 --> 00:23:34,280 Speaker 2: I also have known families from my time of serving 467 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:38,550 Speaker 2: in youth ministry that have pulled their kids out of 468 00:23:38,630 --> 00:23:42,510 Speaker 2: school maybe in a time that they might should have 469 00:23:42,550 --> 00:23:44,990 Speaker 2: stayed and worked it through. So it's like, I don't 470 00:23:45,030 --> 00:23:46,919 Speaker 2: want you to have to deal with this. I'm going 471 00:23:46,940 --> 00:23:48,500 Speaker 2: to pull you out and put you over here with 472 00:23:48,580 --> 00:23:50,219 Speaker 2: a new group of friends. Now I've seen that be 473 00:23:50,260 --> 00:23:52,700 Speaker 2: successful as well, but then I also have seen it 474 00:23:52,740 --> 00:23:54,510 Speaker 2: kind of backfire where you go to the next place 475 00:23:54,530 --> 00:23:56,730 Speaker 2: and then it's the same issues because you're not addressing 476 00:23:56,750 --> 00:24:00,669 Speaker 2: the root cause of, of the problem. But sometimes it's 477 00:24:00,790 --> 00:24:03,900 Speaker 2: so much out of your control and it's so much. Um, 478 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:05,480 Speaker 2: and I remember Tara, my. 479 00:24:05,460 --> 00:24:07,920 Speaker 1: Um, my mother, um. 480 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:13,740 Speaker 2: Helped kind of raise one of her nieces at a 481 00:24:13,790 --> 00:24:17,510 Speaker 2: period of time. And it was a rough situation that 482 00:24:17,570 --> 00:24:19,130 Speaker 2: she was in, and she did that exact thing. She 483 00:24:19,170 --> 00:24:21,369 Speaker 2: pulled her out of school to help kind of control 484 00:24:21,390 --> 00:24:24,330 Speaker 2: that aspect of her life in the best way that 485 00:24:24,430 --> 00:24:26,870 Speaker 2: she knew how in that season. 486 00:24:26,930 --> 00:24:27,709 Speaker 1: And so, yeah, you're right. 487 00:24:27,750 --> 00:24:32,590 Speaker 2: Just being aware and prayerful, being sensitive to the Holy Spirit. 488 00:24:32,609 --> 00:24:37,790 Speaker 1: It all comes back to prayer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And 489 00:24:37,850 --> 00:24:39,649 Speaker 1: not saying the way that she does it is the 490 00:24:39,690 --> 00:24:39,990 Speaker 1: right way. 491 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,540 Speaker 2: And that's the way I have to do it because 492 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,980 Speaker 2: we are the best mom for our families. And that's 493 00:24:45,020 --> 00:24:48,850 Speaker 2: hard to remember in our culture that wants opinions from everybody. 494 00:24:48,930 --> 00:24:51,610 Speaker 1: And we want to look like all of those around us. 495 00:24:51,970 --> 00:24:56,340 Speaker 2: Um, but really believing that God has given us everything. 496 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,369 Speaker 1: We need to raise our children well. 497 00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,470 Speaker 3: Because when I even mentioned that we ended up switching 498 00:25:01,730 --> 00:25:04,869 Speaker 3: churches and that helped my child find friendships, I had 499 00:25:04,970 --> 00:25:08,270 Speaker 3: felt that Holy Spirit tug for probably nine months before 500 00:25:08,310 --> 00:25:11,570 Speaker 3: I finally listened. And I felt our roots in that 501 00:25:11,650 --> 00:25:15,250 Speaker 3: church loosening for several years before that. So it wasn't 502 00:25:15,570 --> 00:25:18,950 Speaker 3: made in haste or an upset or anything like that. 503 00:25:18,990 --> 00:25:19,070 Speaker 1: Yeah. 504 00:25:19,540 --> 00:25:23,040 Speaker 3: It was bathed in prayer. And then I definitely felt 505 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:26,629 Speaker 3: that Holy Spirit tug. So like you said, every situation, 506 00:25:26,770 --> 00:25:29,870 Speaker 3: even in your own life, what looks good last week 507 00:25:29,950 --> 00:25:31,369 Speaker 3: may not be the way you need to handle a 508 00:25:31,410 --> 00:25:35,330 Speaker 3: situation this week. So being right in prayer and attentive 509 00:25:35,350 --> 00:25:37,570 Speaker 3: to where the Holy Spirit's leading you and your family 510 00:25:37,690 --> 00:25:39,550 Speaker 3: is so very important. 511 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,100 Speaker 2: And you've kind of touched on this a little bit, 512 00:25:42,140 --> 00:25:45,629 Speaker 2: but from one kid to another, right? Um, I'm, I 513 00:25:45,650 --> 00:25:48,360 Speaker 2: have a baby right now, but I can already tell 514 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,460 Speaker 2: a difference in his personality and his sister's personality. Right. 515 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:53,940 Speaker 2: And so I know that that's going to be something 516 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:55,840 Speaker 2: that I'm going to have to learn to navigate in 517 00:25:55,859 --> 00:25:56,400 Speaker 2: the future. 518 00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,010 Speaker 3: And with my kids, my oldest, I prayed for friendships 519 00:26:00,050 --> 00:26:03,950 Speaker 3: for years. My middle son, his superpower is friendship. Like 520 00:26:04,109 --> 00:26:08,030 Speaker 3: he can walk into a room and make friends so easily. 521 00:26:08,630 --> 00:26:10,360 Speaker 3: And I kind of write about in the book, but 522 00:26:10,380 --> 00:26:13,480 Speaker 3: I Think it's just his personality. It's a core trait, 523 00:26:13,500 --> 00:26:15,379 Speaker 3: like you said, that he's had since the day he 524 00:26:15,420 --> 00:26:19,370 Speaker 3: was born. And it's just who he is. But yes, 525 00:26:19,530 --> 00:26:22,470 Speaker 3: all of them are so different. And learning to how 526 00:26:22,490 --> 00:26:26,929 Speaker 3: to navigate that with each child can be really complicated sometimes. 527 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:28,580 Speaker 1: And again, you need lots of prayer. 528 00:26:31,550 --> 00:26:34,310 Speaker 2: Yes, well, speaking of prayer, Tara, would you pray for 529 00:26:34,410 --> 00:26:38,730 Speaker 2: our listeners who are listening today? Y'all, there is so 530 00:26:38,750 --> 00:26:42,189 Speaker 2: much more that Tara has written about friendships already in 531 00:26:42,230 --> 00:26:44,889 Speaker 2: the Everyday Prayers for the School Year book that you 532 00:26:44,910 --> 00:26:46,949 Speaker 2: can reference if this is something that you are struggling 533 00:26:46,990 --> 00:26:48,989 Speaker 2: with or you know a mom friend that is struggling 534 00:26:49,020 --> 00:26:52,359 Speaker 2: with this. That is a fantastic resource for you to 535 00:26:53,060 --> 00:26:56,560 Speaker 2: be able to pick that up and pray scripture over 536 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,659 Speaker 2: your children's friendships. But Tara, if you would do us 537 00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:01,740 Speaker 2: the honor in praying for our listeners as we close 538 00:27:01,810 --> 00:27:02,380 Speaker 2: out today. 539 00:27:03,530 --> 00:27:07,190 Speaker 3: God, thank you so, so much for the opportunity to 540 00:27:07,230 --> 00:27:10,369 Speaker 3: come before you. Thank you for your desire to have 541 00:27:10,430 --> 00:27:13,840 Speaker 3: a relationship with us and our children. And thank you 542 00:27:13,890 --> 00:27:17,240 Speaker 3: so much for telling us who we are in you 543 00:27:17,420 --> 00:27:20,420 Speaker 3: and reassuring us over and over again that we're your 544 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:23,580 Speaker 3: image bearers, that we're fearfully and wonderfully made, that we're 545 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,520 Speaker 3: precious in your sight. I just ask that you will 546 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:30,540 Speaker 3: help those truths seek deep down into our children's hearts 547 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:32,560 Speaker 3: as we continually. 548 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:33,740 Speaker 1: Lead them to you and bring them before you. 549 00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:37,510 Speaker 3: Whenever our kids are hurting due to lack of friends 550 00:27:37,670 --> 00:27:42,729 Speaker 3: or bullying or arguments or just struggling with friendship, our 551 00:27:42,850 --> 00:27:47,149 Speaker 3: hearts absolutely break for them. And I just pray that 552 00:27:47,190 --> 00:27:49,410 Speaker 3: you will be with that mom and that family whose 553 00:27:49,450 --> 00:27:52,650 Speaker 3: hearts are breaking right now over whatever friendship challenges they 554 00:27:52,690 --> 00:27:55,429 Speaker 3: might be facing. I pray that you'll be with them 555 00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,800 Speaker 3: in it and that you will just give them clear 556 00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,960 Speaker 3: direction and Holy Spirit guidance on the next best steps 557 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:04,600 Speaker 3: for their child and their family. And sometimes like with us, 558 00:28:04,700 --> 00:28:07,120 Speaker 3: that was just waiting for a little while for you 559 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:09,940 Speaker 3: to pave the road ahead. I am saying you will 560 00:28:10,050 --> 00:28:13,050 Speaker 3: be with that family who are rocking friendships and doing 561 00:28:13,130 --> 00:28:15,690 Speaker 3: great in them. that you will continue to be with 562 00:28:15,730 --> 00:28:18,689 Speaker 3: them in those, that you will give their kids good 563 00:28:18,830 --> 00:28:21,909 Speaker 3: influences that will draw them to you, and that you 564 00:28:21,930 --> 00:28:24,390 Speaker 3: will just give those parents wisdom as they help their 565 00:28:24,410 --> 00:28:28,709 Speaker 3: child navigate friendships and relationships and what that means as 566 00:28:28,770 --> 00:28:31,570 Speaker 3: they're growing up. Thank you so much for drawing us 567 00:28:31,630 --> 00:28:35,109 Speaker 3: into relationship with you, into relationship with each other through 568 00:28:35,150 --> 00:28:36,370 Speaker 3: your church and community. 569 00:28:36,810 --> 00:28:37,990 Speaker 1: In Jesus' name, amen. 570 00:28:39,190 --> 00:28:42,950 Speaker 2: Amen. Amen. Tara, thank you so, so much. And we 571 00:28:43,010 --> 00:28:45,910 Speaker 2: will see you guys back on Monday. 572 00:28:45,930 --> 00:28:46,780 Speaker 1: Thank you. 573 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,180 Speaker 2: As part of our Fruit of the Spirit prayers and 574 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:53,979 Speaker 2: everyday prayers for the school year book club, Tara Cole 575 00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:57,590 Speaker 2: and I created a free car conversations guide for your 576 00:28:57,650 --> 00:29:01,150 Speaker 2: family to use this fall. The car is sometimes the 577 00:29:01,210 --> 00:29:05,490 Speaker 2: best place for our most precious conversations with our kids. 578 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,260 Speaker 2: As we are praying through the fruit of the Spirit, 579 00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:11,800 Speaker 2: our hope is that you can have meaningful conversations with 580 00:29:11,900 --> 00:29:15,480 Speaker 2: your kids about what living out these fruit looks like 581 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,420 Speaker 2: in their daily lives. Tara and I created a series 582 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,880 Speaker 2: of quick questions. She wrote some for the older kids. 583 00:29:21,100 --> 00:29:23,380 Speaker 2: I wrote some for younger kids. And we share a 584 00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:26,510 Speaker 2: prayer that you can share with your children about each 585 00:29:26,590 --> 00:29:29,870 Speaker 2: of the fruit of the Spirit. Download your copy for 586 00:29:29,950 --> 00:29:32,470 Speaker 2: free on our website or the link in our show notes. 587 00:29:33,190 --> 00:29:37,180 Speaker 1: Until next time, friends. The Lord bless you and keep you. 588 00:29:38,230 --> 00:29:41,130 Speaker 1: Make his face shine upon you. and be gracious to you. 589 00:29:41,890 --> 00:29:44,670 Speaker 1: May the Lord look with favor on you and give 590 00:29:44,730 --> 00:29:45,350 Speaker 1: you peace.