1 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of 2 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 1: hours of Dennis's lectures courses in classic radio programs. Had 3 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:39,000 Speaker 1: to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to Dennisprager dot com. 4 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:44,000 Speaker 2: So this week I want to discuss with you what 5 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 2: can we do about it? Okay? And I have three parts. 6 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 2: What can society do about it? What can men do 7 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:56,000 Speaker 2: about it, which is the most important, and what can 8 00:00:56,040 --> 00:01:00,120 Speaker 2: women do about it? Which is important. But the most 9 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:03,120 Speaker 2: important is for the problem himself to figure out what 10 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:07,680 Speaker 2: to do. But in any event, if I'm right, in 11 00:01:07,759 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 2: other words, everything flows from the problem of male sexuality. 12 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:22,240 Speaker 2: It's variety orientation, it's non love orientation, it's climax orientation, variety, superficiality, etc. 13 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 2: If that is correct, then we have the question what 14 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:35,480 Speaker 2: do we do about it? So let me begin with 15 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 2: what men can do about it, because that's the most important. 16 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:43,399 Speaker 2: Then talk to you about what society can do and 17 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:48,360 Speaker 2: what women can do. Men have a number of choices 18 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 2: about what to do with their demon every man, homosexual 19 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 2: and heterosexual, virtually every man. There are truly men with 20 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:02,440 Speaker 2: lesser libidos. I haven't met one, but I have read 21 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:07,040 Speaker 2: about them. They exist, but I'm not joking. I have 22 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 2: not met one any male that I've talked to had 23 00:02:11,079 --> 00:02:15,120 Speaker 2: similar reactions to what I expressed to you last week. 24 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 2: I'm not joking though, to say that there are men 25 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:22,359 Speaker 2: who are less sexually driven, obviously, just as there are 26 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,119 Speaker 2: women who may have more of a male type sex urge. 27 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 2: That will exist too. But you can't talk about the rarity. 28 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,960 Speaker 2: You talk about the great majority, because that's what we 29 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:36,480 Speaker 2: deal with. So what does a man do with this demon? 30 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:40,840 Speaker 2: He has it, There's nothing that he can't get rid 31 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,680 Speaker 2: of it. I'm not sure even if castration would work. 32 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:47,920 Speaker 2: They have tried this with male sexual offenders right just 33 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:51,640 Speaker 2: recently one who was chemically castrated and then went on 34 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:57,680 Speaker 2: to molest a child, which was very, very distressing to 35 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 2: say the least. But I don't know what does a 36 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:05,120 Speaker 2: man do with this. He can't ignore it, so he 37 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,680 Speaker 2: either gives into it, or doesn't give into it, or 38 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,800 Speaker 2: partially gives into it, or whatever. So I have listed 39 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 2: the good choices and the not good choices that a 40 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,400 Speaker 2: man could make to do with this. Let's talk about 41 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:22,600 Speaker 2: the not good choices. First, he could live going sexually 42 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 2: from women to women. It could either be serial monogamy 43 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:31,800 Speaker 2: or just constant variety. Right, That is one not good 44 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:37,160 Speaker 2: choice that a man can make. That is a response 45 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 2: of giving in to his natural drive live a life, 46 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 2: going from bed to bed, from female body to female body. 47 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:52,440 Speaker 2: He may do it with some trappings of relationships, and 48 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,280 Speaker 2: he may not. This is where you get the classic 49 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 2: commitment phobia that women talk about in men. Men are 50 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 2: born with commitment phobia in that regard. They now have 51 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:05,880 Speaker 2: commitment phobia in other regards. Men can easily commit to 52 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 2: a company. See it's very important. Men don't have commitment 53 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:14,800 Speaker 2: phobia in general. They have commitment phobia sexually. They have 54 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 2: a visa v men if they are homosexual, women if 55 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:23,719 Speaker 2: they're heterosexual. So that is one possible choice for a man. 56 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:27,040 Speaker 2: Why it's not a good choice, I will tell you 57 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,280 Speaker 2: in a moment, Because you might say, what's wrong with that? 58 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,719 Speaker 2: So long as he is not raping anybody, and he's 59 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:34,520 Speaker 2: not drugging women, and he is not misleading anybody and 60 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,720 Speaker 2: not producing kids out of wedlock and not passing sexually 61 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:41,240 Speaker 2: transmitted diseases, what's wrong with that? And a lot of 62 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:44,880 Speaker 2: men feel that, what's you live once and frankly, I 63 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:48,680 Speaker 2: rather live with the excitement, and excitement is going to 64 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:52,440 Speaker 2: be the key word tonight. This is very exciting. This 65 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 2: is an exciting life. It's boring emotionally, it is boring intellectually, 66 00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:04,159 Speaker 2: it is boring psychologically, but it is very exciting to 67 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:08,320 Speaker 2: seduce and to act the physical act itself of sex 68 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:15,000 Speaker 2: with women after women. Another possibility, which is related to this, obviously, 69 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:18,599 Speaker 2: is to go to prostitutes. Prostitution, they say, is the 70 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:24,400 Speaker 2: oldest profession in the world. The reason that is said 71 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 2: is because it so responds to male desires. The advantage 72 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 2: of prostitution is that it can a company, or so 73 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:38,919 Speaker 2: a man may feel, and to a certain extent that 74 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:42,720 Speaker 2: is true. It can a company. Unlike bad choice one 75 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:46,599 Speaker 2: bad choice or not I've really actually said not good choice. 76 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:50,160 Speaker 2: Bad makes a moral judgment that in this arena I'm 77 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:56,240 Speaker 2: not prepared yet to make not good choice number one 78 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,200 Speaker 2: is different from not good choice number two of going 79 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 2: to prostitutes. The going to prostitutes can accompany commitment to 80 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:09,320 Speaker 2: a wife and has through much of human history. I'll 81 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 2: take you know, I'll take an hour break today, then 82 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:17,240 Speaker 2: visit a massage parlor or Houseville repute, whatever it might 83 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:21,840 Speaker 2: be called at any time. The majority of prostitutes clients 84 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:24,599 Speaker 2: are not necessarily single men who can find a woman. 85 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:28,920 Speaker 2: They are probably at least half married men. So that's 86 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:33,160 Speaker 2: another possibility. Every society that we know of in history 87 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:37,280 Speaker 2: has had prostitution. In another session, I will talk about 88 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:39,800 Speaker 2: whether it should be legalized or not. It's an extremely 89 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:45,600 Speaker 2: complex question. It's very tough and I'm torn over it. 90 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 2: Third is marry. Third not good choice, but very widely 91 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 2: pursued in this world. It's not American, but it is 92 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:04,359 Speaker 2: European and Latin. Marry and have a mistress. It is 93 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 2: very common. The Prime Minister of France, you will recall, 94 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:13,000 Speaker 2: actually had a child with a mistress and the child 95 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 2: and the mistress showed up at his funeral. What was 96 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 2: it last year or the year before. It is extremely 97 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 2: accepted in most European society, in Latin society that a 98 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:29,440 Speaker 2: married man has affairs. It is and they feel that 99 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 2: it's the best of all worlds. That way, he is 100 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:34,760 Speaker 2: committed to a woman, he does get best of all 101 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 2: worlds for him. Let's put it that way. He has 102 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,280 Speaker 2: his cake and he can get to eat it as well. 103 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:44,880 Speaker 2: And how so he has a wife, he has a home, 104 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:48,920 Speaker 2: he has children, he has family, and he gets to 105 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:55,440 Speaker 2: fool around sexually as per his libidinous desires. It is also, 106 00:07:55,640 --> 00:08:00,200 Speaker 2: to many of the women in that society not entirely objectionable. 107 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,480 Speaker 2: So long as it's clear she's just a mistress, so 108 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 2: long as they are second rate, so long as he 109 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,200 Speaker 2: doesn't bring them home, so long as I'm number one, 110 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 2: the kids are number one. And if he doesn't flaunt 111 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:15,440 Speaker 2: her in public, what do WI care is? There will 112 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 2: be a lot of wives from Italy and through South 113 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:25,400 Speaker 2: America who will say that. In a few interviewers say well, 114 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:28,200 Speaker 2: are you happy he does it? I am happy that 115 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:30,720 Speaker 2: I am married. It is better than if I had 116 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:35,120 Speaker 2: remained alone in this society. I have him, I have children, 117 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:38,999 Speaker 2: I have a family. If he needs to do his 118 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 2: thing elsewhere, as long as I am not publicly humiliated, 119 00:08:43,319 --> 00:08:45,839 Speaker 2: I could certainly live with it. I am the matriarch 120 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,280 Speaker 2: of a family now at least I have that, And 121 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:52,120 Speaker 2: that's a big at least. So I don't happen to 122 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 2: accept this as a viable option. I don't think it's 123 00:08:56,679 --> 00:09:00,600 Speaker 2: a good thing or a healthy thing, but I don't 124 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 2: knock it as a solution to the problem of male sexuality. 125 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:09,680 Speaker 2: It seems to work in many ways. You get families, 126 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:15,040 Speaker 2: you get stability. In fact, I would argue that it 127 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:19,360 Speaker 2: could be argued if that's not an odd way, it's 128 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 2: a secondary argument that perhaps America's greater divorce rate than 129 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:27,480 Speaker 2: Europe may be in part due to the fact that 130 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:32,080 Speaker 2: we don't accept mistresses and affairs and that men who 131 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 2: have them it often leads to divorce. Now that's not 132 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 2: an argument that we should therefore have it. What we 133 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,400 Speaker 2: want are good marriages and stable marriages and fidelity and 134 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,680 Speaker 2: so on. But living in the real world and not 135 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:47,920 Speaker 2: in just what I would like to see, I think 136 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:51,600 Speaker 2: that that is an argument that can be sustained that 137 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:55,440 Speaker 2: there is less divorce in countries. In these countries because 138 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:58,679 Speaker 2: there is less need to. If already he can have 139 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 2: his affairs and comes home at night, then everybody, so 140 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:09,480 Speaker 2: to speak, is happy, not perfectly happy, not as happy 141 00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:14,760 Speaker 2: as a good monogamous relationship, but nevertheless, stability in society 142 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 2: has been achieved. This if the male sexual nature is 143 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 2: a is a pressure cooker, this stem has been let 144 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:30,000 Speaker 2: out through those sanctioned affairs that are not brought home 145 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 2: should not produce children. That is not that obviously is 146 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 2: a real that's a no no for the sake of children. 147 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,840 Speaker 2: But I want you to understand that that is one 148 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:46,640 Speaker 2: classic answer. America and its demand for monogamy and its 149 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 2: stigmatization historically of affairs and certainly mistresses, is fairly unique. 150 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 2: If there is not an oxymorhon, it comes close to 151 00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:01,160 Speaker 2: being unique in world societies. It is not typical of 152 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 2: Catholic society, of Latin society, and even parts of Protestant 153 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:09,199 Speaker 2: European society. So those are some of the not good choices. 154 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,200 Speaker 2: What's wrong? Why are they not good? Why is living 155 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,960 Speaker 2: from woman to woman a not good choice? If the 156 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,520 Speaker 2: man has a stable job, is a decent person, and 157 00:11:18,559 --> 00:11:22,880 Speaker 2: he could be. It doesn't mean that a man is mean, uncharitable, 158 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,960 Speaker 2: kicks children and dogs because he goes from woman to women. 159 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,559 Speaker 2: Nor does it mean that every man who is a 160 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:33,080 Speaker 2: faithful to his wife is a kind man. Hitler was 161 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:37,239 Speaker 2: apparently faithful to his not wife, but his female companion, 162 00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:40,520 Speaker 2: and he was not a good man. So I'm certainly 163 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 2: not arguing that it is an inevitable correlation of the two. 164 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:47,160 Speaker 2: So what's wrong with it? Why shouldn't and by the way, 165 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 2: this is not a theoretical question. For those of us 166 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:53,120 Speaker 2: males who think and who are aware of ourselves, we 167 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:57,040 Speaker 2: ask these questions, why get married? Why not live from 168 00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:00,680 Speaker 2: woman to women? What is so wrong with living out 169 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,559 Speaker 2: my nature? If I do a lot of good work? 170 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 2: Otherwise I mean, if all I do is attend to 171 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 2: orgies every night, I become a hedonist. But let us 172 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 2: say I combine that, and there are men who do 173 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:14,920 Speaker 2: with a fully functional professional life and just go from 174 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:21,440 Speaker 2: woman to women. Well, the price paid. And not all 175 00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:26,600 Speaker 2: men care about this price. That's the problem, And certainly 176 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,800 Speaker 2: it doesn't. It's not terribly effective when a woman tells 177 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:31,720 Speaker 2: him this is the price, because it seems that she 178 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 2: has an axe to grind. It's why it's more effective 179 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,720 Speaker 2: in this case for a man to tell a man 180 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 2: the price that is paid. He has forsaken love and 181 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 2: personal growth, emotional growth, and other forms of growth in 182 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,920 Speaker 2: favor of excitement and distraction. 183 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:56,319 Speaker 1: This episode of timeless wisdom will continue right after this. 184 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:06,560 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom. 185 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 2: When I have covered the issue of why get married 186 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:14,080 Speaker 2: on the radio, and now a lot of young women 187 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,439 Speaker 2: ask this question. It's not only young men who ask 188 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:19,560 Speaker 2: this question. It's more men because of the nature issue. 189 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:23,280 Speaker 2: But still in all, with societal liberation of women to 190 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,560 Speaker 2: make a perfectly good living on their own and with 191 00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:30,680 Speaker 2: birth control, women are asking this question too, though by 192 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,360 Speaker 2: and large it is still a male question, because while 193 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,880 Speaker 2: a twenty five year old woman may ask this question, 194 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 2: forty year old women don't tend to ask this question. 195 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 2: There is something in the female nature, thank god, otherwise 196 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:46,360 Speaker 2: almost no one would end up committed that knows the 197 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:54,480 Speaker 2: importance of commitment of relationship women are. Women's genius lies 198 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:58,640 Speaker 2: in relationships in the micro realm. Men's genius lies in 199 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:02,439 Speaker 2: the macro realm. And the two geniuses combined or make 200 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:06,440 Speaker 2: a very good life, but they are very different the 201 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:12,480 Speaker 2: natural genius of each sex. You forsake love. It's not 202 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 2: love to go from women to women, it's lust. Serial 203 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:20,120 Speaker 2: monogamy is not loved. Serial monogamy me is serial lust. 204 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,080 Speaker 2: That doesn't mean that a man and a woman didn't 205 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:25,680 Speaker 2: feel love at the time. But love, i think any 206 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:29,320 Speaker 2: mature person knows, is more than just I feel in love. 207 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:33,160 Speaker 2: If love is only I feel in love. The violins 208 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 2: are soaring, and the trumpets are blasting and I'm about 209 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:40,200 Speaker 2: to orgasm. Then love is pretty trivial, and it's pretty 210 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:44,280 Speaker 2: indistinguishable from lust. There should be a lust component for love, 211 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,200 Speaker 2: There's no question about it. That's what makes it different 212 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:52,360 Speaker 2: from platonic love. There are men I truly love, but 213 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:56,880 Speaker 2: as it happens, I don't lust for them, nor do 214 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:59,640 Speaker 2: they lust for me. To the best of my knowledge, 215 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 2: I'll have to ask them after this lecture. If they do, 216 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:09,960 Speaker 2: they hide it very well and must say to forsake 217 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,920 Speaker 2: what you forsake is love. You get a lot of lust, 218 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,800 Speaker 2: you get a lot of excitement, but the deep love 219 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 2: and the depth of growth that is available in commitment 220 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:25,360 Speaker 2: to one person is unavailable to a man who goes 221 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:28,720 Speaker 2: from women to women. This may sound like to a 222 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,760 Speaker 2: lot of men, especially a younger man, a big deal. 223 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 2: That's what I give up for all this fun and excitement. 224 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,080 Speaker 2: You got to be joking, Okay, So I won't grow 225 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,360 Speaker 2: in that area. I'll grow as a scientist, I'll grow 226 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:42,480 Speaker 2: as a lawyer, I'll grow as a businessman. So I 227 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 2: won't grow in that all right, thank you, have a 228 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:47,000 Speaker 2: nice day. That's it, Dennis. You mean for that I 229 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,520 Speaker 2: should give up all this fun and excitement. You got 230 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,280 Speaker 2: to be joking. I'm not going to chase any more 231 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,840 Speaker 2: women the rest of my life just because of I 232 00:15:54,880 --> 00:16:00,200 Speaker 2: won't grow and love. Well, that's basically right. The question 233 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 2: is do people want to grow? We have a fairly 234 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 2: non growth society. You ask college students what they want, 235 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:13,600 Speaker 2: what are their goals in life? Very few will say 236 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,560 Speaker 2: I want to grow, I want to be mature, I 237 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:20,920 Speaker 2: want to develop. It's I want to be rich, I 238 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 2: want to be happy, I want to be successful, I 239 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,440 Speaker 2: want to be smart, I want to do well. Maybe 240 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:29,800 Speaker 2: even I want a family, which is a good thing. 241 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:35,520 Speaker 2: But the thought of growth, which is only available and 242 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:37,920 Speaker 2: the only people who know this really are those who 243 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,560 Speaker 2: had love. If you have had love over the course 244 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:45,200 Speaker 2: of time with a woman, women know this. On directing 245 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:48,200 Speaker 2: this to men, you know what I'm talking about. Women 246 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,960 Speaker 2: almost instinctively know what I'm talking about. What it is 247 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,000 Speaker 2: to grow, what it is to mature, what it is 248 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:58,240 Speaker 2: to develop a relationship an intimacy with one person. To 249 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:02,880 Speaker 2: a man, this is mostly terror incognito, foreign territory land 250 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:08,520 Speaker 2: that they don't naturally gravitate to. But men know this 251 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:13,680 Speaker 2: if they have experienced it. Is it valuable? Well, I think, 252 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,799 Speaker 2: I think as a male who totally identifies with the 253 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:23,200 Speaker 2: libidinous drives. I described that it's ultimately more valuable than 254 00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:27,200 Speaker 2: all the betting of women in the world. The other 255 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:32,359 Speaker 2: has an appeal, but it is ephemeral, it's transient, it's superficial. 256 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:37,520 Speaker 2: It ends the moment the orgasm ends. Then what then what? 257 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:43,199 Speaker 2: And you see there's another problem too. I take this 258 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:46,439 Speaker 2: motto from of all people, and this comes from my 259 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:51,880 Speaker 2: early days studying Russian history. The Tsar's minister Pabya Dnostsev. 260 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:55,320 Speaker 2: I don't know why I remember that. I took Russian 261 00:17:55,359 --> 00:17:59,919 Speaker 2: so I remember these names. Pabiya Dnostseef under the Tsar 262 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:03,639 Speaker 2: had a great rationale for why the Russian Empire should 263 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:08,480 Speaker 2: keep expanding. It was brilliant, and he said, that which 264 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:16,480 Speaker 2: does not expand contracts. I have adopted Pabia dnostsef rationale 265 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:22,320 Speaker 2: for the Russian Empire to all of life. That which 266 00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 2: doesn't grow contracts. Any relationship you have either grows or contracts. 267 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:31,680 Speaker 2: Nothing stays the same. If it stays the same, it's 268 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:37,679 Speaker 2: getting smaller. And so what happens with a lot of 269 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,920 Speaker 2: men and women know this? If they meet a man 270 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,080 Speaker 2: who by a certain age, and you can fill in 271 00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:47,200 Speaker 2: the age you want, forty forty five, thirty five, fifty, 272 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:49,840 Speaker 2: whatever you want to fill in. A man who has 273 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:54,360 Speaker 2: not had a very serious committed relationship marriage and divorced, 274 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:58,760 Speaker 2: or very long, serious committed relationship in some other way. 275 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:02,480 Speaker 2: Most women don't think that that guy is good material 276 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:06,320 Speaker 2: for marriage, and they're right. In most cases, he's not 277 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:11,240 Speaker 2: because he hasn't grown. He's a forty five year old boy. 278 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:14,919 Speaker 2: There are a lot of forty five year old boys around. 279 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:20,200 Speaker 2: Most of the time, girls become women, that's the natural 280 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:24,679 Speaker 2: evolution of things. Boys do not become men just because 281 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:28,920 Speaker 2: they get older. They just become older boys. I saw 282 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,280 Speaker 2: one in a Porscha just on the way here and thought, 283 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:38,720 Speaker 2: I don't know why that's their car of choice. Old 284 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:45,160 Speaker 2: boys are recognizable because they live, act talk like boys, 285 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:50,400 Speaker 2: just they'rein men's bodies and men men can spot them, 286 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:54,119 Speaker 2: just like women can spot fake women. Men can spot 287 00:19:54,160 --> 00:20:00,680 Speaker 2: fake men in a nanosecond, generally speaking, and these guys exist, 288 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,960 Speaker 2: and it is a very unfortunate thing. So what do 289 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,119 Speaker 2: you have to look back on your life when you 290 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:11,719 Speaker 2: are retiring from life through death or just getting slow 291 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:15,520 Speaker 2: down through old age. God, I was with a thousand women. 292 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:19,399 Speaker 2: What a remarkable thing to say, What a victim for 293 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:24,359 Speaker 2: the human spirit. So what so what I mean? What 294 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,240 Speaker 2: does it add up to? That's the question. It added 295 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,520 Speaker 2: up to a lot of moments of excitement. What I 296 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 2: don't boo boom there it is exciting. I don't deny 297 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,439 Speaker 2: that for a nanosecond as a male. But what does 298 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:39,399 Speaker 2: it add up to? As opposed to what does a 299 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:43,000 Speaker 2: relationship add up to? What does a family add up to? 300 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:48,080 Speaker 2: What is making couples friends through through your marriage add 301 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,800 Speaker 2: up to? I mean, these things add up to something 302 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:59,280 Speaker 2: far greater than all the accumulated excitements. There's another interesting 303 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:03,480 Speaker 2: thought which my friend, doctor Stephen Marmer mentioned to me 304 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:08,280 Speaker 2: when I reviewed this with him. He said, without love 305 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:13,920 Speaker 2: and or a family, a man can become irrelevant. It's 306 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:21,040 Speaker 2: an interesting word, this irrelevant word. And I I didn't 307 00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:23,960 Speaker 2: it was a brief conversation, But when I thought about it, 308 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:27,120 Speaker 2: I realized, and I put it in this work. Almost 309 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:33,040 Speaker 2: all of us men and women are replaceable professionally, right, 310 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:37,720 Speaker 2: Very few of us are irreplaceable in our professional work. 311 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:41,960 Speaker 2: But every one of us is irreplaceable in our love work. 312 00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:49,160 Speaker 2: That interesting an important way to look at it. So ironically, 313 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:53,119 Speaker 2: men want to be important. This is a dry I 314 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:58,200 Speaker 2: want to be important. It's just men want to be important. Ironically, 315 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 2: through love, you achieve more importance because you are far 316 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:07,320 Speaker 2: more irreplaceable. You are uniquely needed by the person who 317 00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:10,359 Speaker 2: loves you. That cannot be said for almost I mean 318 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:14,359 Speaker 2: Churchill was irreplaceable as the leader of Britain. Okay, that's true. 319 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:19,480 Speaker 2: Salt was irreplaceable as the discoverer of the polio vavaccine. 320 00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:24,480 Speaker 2: But I'm talking about handfuls of people in the midst 321 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:28,040 Speaker 2: of millions of us who are replaceable in our work, 322 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,720 Speaker 2: as good the job as we may do. And it's 323 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:34,600 Speaker 2: wonderful to do a good job, and some work is irreplaceable. 324 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:39,040 Speaker 2: I acknowledge that. But you know, Beethoven's irreplaceable. But by 325 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:43,000 Speaker 2: and large, we're not Beethoven, and we're not Sulk, and 326 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:46,880 Speaker 2: we're not Churchill. We're maybe terrific at what we do. 327 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,679 Speaker 2: But the area of our most importance is to anyone 328 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,840 Speaker 2: who loves us. Is it a wife, is it siblings, 329 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:58,720 Speaker 2: is it friends? Is it children? That's where that's where 330 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:03,800 Speaker 2: our greatest importance. Ironically lies women know this. Very few 331 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:09,879 Speaker 2: women are ache for macro importance. They ache for micro importance. 332 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:13,440 Speaker 2: Their nature does. Society may teach them otherwise. Male values 333 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,400 Speaker 2: are the most important ones. Feminism, at least in its 334 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:20,560 Speaker 2: organized self, took male values. That's the irony. It's misnamed. 335 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:24,600 Speaker 2: It's really masculinism because it took male values of macro 336 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:27,160 Speaker 2: significance being the important thing in life. 337 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:30,720 Speaker 1: This episode of timeless wisdom will continue right after this. 338 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:40,720 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom. 339 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:44,520 Speaker 2: So they're not good choices for a man if he 340 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,879 Speaker 2: wants to grow, if he wants to develop, if he 341 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:50,320 Speaker 2: wants to live life fully, if he wants continual excitement. 342 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:55,760 Speaker 2: There is excitement available to some men in constantly betting 343 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,960 Speaker 2: different women that may not be available with one woman, 344 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 2: not that she is not exciting, but it is a 345 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,560 Speaker 2: different form of excitement to variety. And oh, look at 346 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:08,720 Speaker 2: the girl at the cross, woman across, you know, the 347 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:13,240 Speaker 2: whole across, whatever the office. I gotta get her, which 348 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:16,720 Speaker 2: is the male instinct. So what can men do? That 349 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:22,600 Speaker 2: are good choices? Okay, good choices, And this is not 350 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:25,239 Speaker 2: in order of importance. Maybe one day I'll have an 351 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,399 Speaker 2: order of importance on this. This is just in the 352 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:32,399 Speaker 2: order of which I wrote it. Number one, know that 353 00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:37,440 Speaker 2: they are insatiable. I told you last week that if 354 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,720 Speaker 2: God offered me clarity or happiness, I would choose clarity. 355 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:46,080 Speaker 2: Clarity or a billion dollars, I would choose clarity. I 356 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:50,080 Speaker 2: would choose clarity over just about anything except perhaps health. 357 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,439 Speaker 2: I mean, you know, to be clear, and in an 358 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:56,520 Speaker 2: iron lung it may not be a great thing, but 359 00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,919 Speaker 2: generally speaking, I want clarity over everything. Then I know 360 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:04,920 Speaker 2: I can deal with life. If men know that they 361 00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,840 Speaker 2: are insatiable in the sexual arena, that no matter how 362 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,200 Speaker 2: many women they have, they'll want another woman. There will 363 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:14,040 Speaker 2: still be another cute pair of legs at the office, 364 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:19,280 Speaker 2: or Miss July centerfold, or on TV, or in a 365 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:24,280 Speaker 2: billboard or in his fantasy. That is helpful to a 366 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,960 Speaker 2: man to understand, because they'll never be satisfied. So he's 367 00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:33,760 Speaker 2: pursuing a constantly moving goalpost. It is like playing football, 368 00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:38,200 Speaker 2: American football. You keep getting ten yards, but of course 369 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,800 Speaker 2: in football at one hundred yards you get a touchdown. 370 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:46,200 Speaker 2: But satisfying the male sex drive, there's no touchdown available. 371 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:50,080 Speaker 2: You just keep getting ten yards, more, ten yards and more. 372 00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:53,040 Speaker 2: You've gained a million yards, but you've never had the 373 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:59,879 Speaker 2: touchdown of satisfaction. It's not available in that arena. So 374 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:05,040 Speaker 2: if you know that, don't pursue it. And I believe, 375 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:10,600 Speaker 2: since men are in most not all cases, unfortunately quite 376 00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:14,000 Speaker 2: brain centered, I'm appealing to the male brain when I 377 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:17,840 Speaker 2: say this, guys, it doesn't work. If men could say, 378 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:22,800 Speaker 2: you know what, say I am truly sexually satisfied, betting 379 00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:26,400 Speaker 2: all these women that I meet at work and that bars, etc. 380 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:31,479 Speaker 2: Is so satisfying. I am walking around so satisfied as 381 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:35,920 Speaker 2: a person, as a man and sexually, Then I would 382 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:41,720 Speaker 2: say I only have moral and love arguments like I presented. 383 00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:45,439 Speaker 2: But here is a totally practical argument. It doesn't work. 384 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,520 Speaker 2: If it worked, I would have to acknowledge it and say, look, 385 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:52,120 Speaker 2: it works, but you shouldn't do it for other reasons. 386 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:57,040 Speaker 2: But it doesn't work. Ask the men who live that life. 387 00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:04,199 Speaker 2: It doesn't work because male nature is insatiable. Just like 388 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,520 Speaker 2: it's good to keep making more and more money, but 389 00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 2: everybody wants to. If you are insatiable monetarily, no matter 390 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:11,720 Speaker 2: how much money you make, you still want to make 391 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:15,119 Speaker 2: more money. You have to at some point say I 392 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:21,600 Speaker 2: am happy with what I can have now Number two again, 393 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:25,400 Speaker 2: what can a man do under the positive choices? One 394 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,640 Speaker 2: of them will be controversial, I'm not up to it yet. 395 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:37,439 Speaker 2: Seek excitement and variety. Elsewhere men ache for excitement and variety. 396 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:42,919 Speaker 2: So the trick is to get excitement in variety, just 397 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,960 Speaker 2: not sexually sexual excitement with one's wife as possible. But 398 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:50,120 Speaker 2: I'm talking about the excitement of variety, new conquering, new women, 399 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:54,880 Speaker 2: new bodies, etc. So what you should do is definitely 400 00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:58,159 Speaker 2: men need it, and that is part of the reason 401 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:02,760 Speaker 2: that men are far more crazy about hobbies than women 402 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,600 Speaker 2: tend to be that if you look at the subscription 403 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:11,880 Speaker 2: list of Popular Mechanics, Popular Electronics, Car and Driver, Sports, Illustrated, 404 00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:17,480 Speaker 2: Len's Stamp News, Coin World, you will very rarely see Barbara, Jennifer, 405 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:22,359 Speaker 2: and Jessica. You will see ninety nine percent male names. 406 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:25,199 Speaker 2: I read about this, I'll never forget Stereophile. One of 407 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:30,800 Speaker 2: the four hundred hobby magazines I get is listed it's subscribers, 408 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:34,199 Speaker 2: and it said we basically have no women's subscribers. For 409 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,520 Speaker 2: all intents and purposes, they have so few women readers 410 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:42,960 Speaker 2: to Stereophile magazine, a magazine about stereo equipment, which and 411 00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,880 Speaker 2: I watch when it comes I sometimes my wife will 412 00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:48,360 Speaker 2: say what are you reading, and I will show her Stereophile, 413 00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:52,360 Speaker 2: and it is clear that in under a second her 414 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:56,520 Speaker 2: eyes have glazed over. It has not taken a second 415 00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:59,920 Speaker 2: for her to be bored. If I said to her, 416 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:04,640 Speaker 2: stare at a tree or read stereo file all day, 417 00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,560 Speaker 2: she would stare at a tree. I have the same 418 00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:11,640 Speaker 2: reaction to women's shoes. I must say, my eye glaze 419 00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:14,440 Speaker 2: over in under a second. A shoe is a shoe. 420 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:20,600 Speaker 2: I fake liking new shoes off. They're fantastic under torture, 421 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,720 Speaker 2: I would not recognize any of my wife's shoes. I mean, 422 00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:28,920 Speaker 2: I must say, we will pull your fingernails out, tell 423 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:32,280 Speaker 2: us does she own this or not. I would flip 424 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:35,880 Speaker 2: a coin and have my nails torn out. I am 425 00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:40,120 Speaker 2: to female shoes what she is to stereo equipment. It exists. 426 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:43,680 Speaker 2: For me, shoes exist to protect you from nails, and 427 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:47,280 Speaker 2: for her, stereo exists to have nice music in the 428 00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:50,720 Speaker 2: background in the house. It's the opposite for each of us. 429 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:55,680 Speaker 2: For her, shoes are beautiful accouterments to the proper outfit 430 00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:59,200 Speaker 2: that she's wearing, which must match. I don't know why 431 00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:03,040 Speaker 2: the others didn't match, but it's as a buzzle I 432 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:07,719 Speaker 2: admit to never solving. And likewise, to me, stereo is 433 00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:13,040 Speaker 2: not a background. The pre amplifier must have certain qualities 434 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:17,160 Speaker 2: to it. That and you can't have a simple amplifier. 435 00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,360 Speaker 2: It has to be by amped to speak good to 436 00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:24,360 Speaker 2: truly get the the Subwarffer effect, the under one hundred 437 00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:28,200 Speaker 2: herd cycles that the human ear can't hear anyway, you know, 438 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:32,959 Speaker 2: but in any event that is That is how I 439 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,080 Speaker 2: look at the stereo thing. Do you know, by the way, 440 00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:39,760 Speaker 2: Stereophile magazine is so male oriented, so it so has 441 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,640 Speaker 2: given up on women reading it. They actually had they 442 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,680 Speaker 2: stopped us. I don't know why. Under the reviews of 443 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:50,000 Speaker 2: the stereo equipment they would have you know, they say 444 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,880 Speaker 2: what they thought of it, and they would have WAF 445 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:59,840 Speaker 2: wife acceptance factor. Then they would rate it as WAF. 446 00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:03,080 Speaker 2: So an ugly speaker would have D. You know, the 447 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,160 Speaker 2: WAF was D if it was a pretty little speaker 448 00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:10,920 Speaker 2: which no one saw. A plus, women want speakers that 449 00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:15,840 Speaker 2: cannot be seen and from my perspective heard. I don't 450 00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:18,880 Speaker 2: think women want to hear stereo speakers. Let alone see 451 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:25,200 Speaker 2: that in any event, that is men and their hobbies. 452 00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:31,680 Speaker 2: This is our excitement. It's exciting to get new stereo equipment, 453 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:35,960 Speaker 2: to get a new CD. Also, and again, I got 454 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,920 Speaker 2: to thank to my psychiatrist's friend, doctor Stephen Mama, the 455 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:42,720 Speaker 2: schiatrist I ofphen interview on my show, and he the 456 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:48,640 Speaker 2: analogies our hobbies as a sublimated form of our sexual, 457 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:53,560 Speaker 2: libidinous nature is remarkable. For example, those of us into 458 00:31:53,600 --> 00:32:01,040 Speaker 2: classical music very often will buy innumerable versions of the 459 00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:07,040 Speaker 2: same piece. I have twenty one versions of bots Goldberg variations. 460 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:12,360 Speaker 2: It is a commonplace for even classical musing women, classical 461 00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:17,120 Speaker 2: music loving women to ask their husbands darling, you already 462 00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:20,600 Speaker 2: have eleven Brahms seconds, Why are you getting a twelfth? 463 00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:24,360 Speaker 2: And he says no, but this one's different. This is 464 00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:30,600 Speaker 2: exactly analogous. You already had eleven women ya twelfth, this 465 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:35,959 Speaker 2: is another. It's the say, after all, it's the body Wise, 466 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:40,920 Speaker 2: a woman is a woman. But the very subtle differences 467 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:45,080 Speaker 2: are so exciting, just as the subtle differences in Brom's 468 00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:49,200 Speaker 2: second are so exciting, So we need another version. The 469 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:54,280 Speaker 2: variety women don't collect see these. I have women musician friends, 470 00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:58,160 Speaker 2: members of the La Philharmonic. They don't have big collections 471 00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:01,840 Speaker 2: of this stuff. Men do men collect. There was a 472 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:04,880 Speaker 2: famous novel when I was in high school, The Collector, 473 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:09,840 Speaker 2: about a man who collected women un collected butterflies, and 474 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:14,840 Speaker 2: it was the analogy of the collecting men like to collect. 475 00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,920 Speaker 2: Why do you think that is about? It is in 476 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:21,760 Speaker 2: part and innates from the libido. There will be in 477 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,640 Speaker 2: a lot of arenas where men need. That's why women 478 00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:28,840 Speaker 2: have to know men, just as men must know their wives. 479 00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:34,320 Speaker 2: Wives must know their men and humor us, even if 480 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:37,280 Speaker 2: it takes human like I will humor about shoes. I 481 00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:40,719 Speaker 2: must be humored about my stereo and my CDs in 482 00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:43,400 Speaker 2: the best sense of being humored. It's valuable to you 483 00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:45,800 Speaker 2: for reasons I, as a woman, can't figure out, just 484 00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:48,680 Speaker 2: as I, as a man, can't figure out why thirty 485 00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,760 Speaker 2: two pairs of shoes is not enough. I'm not kidding. 486 00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,640 Speaker 2: I'm kidding about my wife. I'm talking Amelda Marcos right, 487 00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:56,760 Speaker 2: and Melde mark a lot. You have eight thousand pairs 488 00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,240 Speaker 2: of shoes. Remember that. I mean if the woman wore 489 00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:02,280 Speaker 2: a different pair every hour, she could not live as 490 00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:06,240 Speaker 2: long enough to wear all the shoes she bought. Right, 491 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:09,479 Speaker 2: So you know, I don't understand that if I had 492 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,080 Speaker 2: all the money in the world, I still have four 493 00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:14,320 Speaker 2: pairs of shoes. It's as simple as that. I don't. 494 00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:18,120 Speaker 2: But that's why each sex has to understand. If it's 495 00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:21,000 Speaker 2: important to you, it's important and the vision. I don't 496 00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,279 Speaker 2: know why I'm not you. Thank God I'm not you, 497 00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:26,880 Speaker 2: because male and female must have mysteries to make us 498 00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:27,879 Speaker 2: who we are. 499 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:31,960 Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 500 00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:41,520 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. 501 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:45,600 Speaker 2: So men need to seek excitement, and they do and 502 00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:50,760 Speaker 2: variety elsewhere. The excitement might be climbing mountains. Sir Edmund 503 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:54,800 Speaker 2: Hillary asked, why are you climbing Everest because it's there, Okay. 504 00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:59,080 Speaker 2: Men need to conquer. He conquered a mountain. He didn't 505 00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:02,319 Speaker 2: conquer one hundred more women. He conquered a mountain. Men 506 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:05,360 Speaker 2: need to conquer, men need to collect, men need excitement. 507 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:09,719 Speaker 2: All of this is a way of taking the libidinous 508 00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:14,520 Speaker 2: drive and putting it into innocuous arenas. Men need to 509 00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:18,680 Speaker 2: know this and get excitement from as many things as possible. 510 00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:21,960 Speaker 2: And a life so that they can stay faithful. This 511 00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:25,440 Speaker 2: is a very big help and women need to understand that. 512 00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:28,799 Speaker 2: And so you know, while was it jay Leno? Why 513 00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,600 Speaker 2: is jay Leno? Because he has so much money? You 514 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:35,480 Speaker 2: know what? He collects cars exactly. You have a write 515 00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:38,760 Speaker 2: different varieties of car. He wants a variety of cars. 516 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:41,840 Speaker 2: And you know, it's often been said that the car 517 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,600 Speaker 2: is like a man's mistress. In some ways. They polish it. 518 00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:47,960 Speaker 2: They call it she right, how's her motor running? They 519 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:51,920 Speaker 2: refer to it as as a she. So while this 520 00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:55,640 Speaker 2: is all cute and stuff, it represents a certain aspect. 521 00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:58,160 Speaker 2: To the best of our knowledge, he seems to be 522 00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:01,560 Speaker 2: a family man. I'm not saying the man has been saintly. 523 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,080 Speaker 2: I don't know, and I don't care. It's none of 524 00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:07,360 Speaker 2: my business. But obviously the car collection is his way 525 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:12,160 Speaker 2: of acting out this male variety and excitement, in collecting 526 00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:16,359 Speaker 2: orientation whatever it could be. Now, by the way, there 527 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:21,440 Speaker 2: is one very bad substitute for for sex, the sex 528 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:25,319 Speaker 2: drive that gives men a great deal of excitement. You 529 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:32,600 Speaker 2: know what it is violence wars Men coming back from 530 00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:38,840 Speaker 2: war have one of two stories. It is hell and 531 00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,520 Speaker 2: I can't describe to you what hell it was, or 532 00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:46,480 Speaker 2: it's the best two years of my life. War is 533 00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:49,240 Speaker 2: the best two years of a lot of men's lives 534 00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:52,440 Speaker 2: who come back from war. They were buddies with their guys. 535 00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:56,520 Speaker 2: They had camaraderie and closeness and purpose and excitement and meaning. 536 00:36:56,840 --> 00:37:00,919 Speaker 2: The day was filled up with tasks, with things to do. 537 00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:06,120 Speaker 2: Adrenaline was running. It's a very powerful thing. That's why 538 00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:11,040 Speaker 2: I know you know it. It was just a bombastic statement, 539 00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,319 Speaker 2: but there was there was an understanding, even if it 540 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:18,440 Speaker 2: wasn't conscious of this when the sixties button which read 541 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:22,839 Speaker 2: make not war, guys, you want to get excited, make 542 00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:26,200 Speaker 2: love not war. That's what have been the preamble to 543 00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:29,000 Speaker 2: that button. Guys, I know you want to get excited, 544 00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:32,480 Speaker 2: just don't do it in war. Take somebody to bed. 545 00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:36,759 Speaker 2: That's what make love not War is about. Even though 546 00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:39,760 Speaker 2: as I say, it wasn't conscious necessarily in the minds 547 00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:43,839 Speaker 2: of whoever made it up. Sports obviously serves that it 548 00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,120 Speaker 2: gets a lot of adrenaline out of the guy plays 549 00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:49,480 Speaker 2: his basketball game. He's got his camaraderie with the guys. 550 00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:53,040 Speaker 2: There's excitement. There's a slight amount of violence because of 551 00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:57,960 Speaker 2: the pushing and shoving. It's warfare because it's competition. Men 552 00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:00,719 Speaker 2: need competition, that is part of them. Just so long 553 00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:03,880 Speaker 2: as it's innocuous, like in a basketball game, it's just fine. 554 00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:06,400 Speaker 2: They don't want to have games where there are no winners. 555 00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:11,799 Speaker 2: This is a creation of Massachusetts, but it is not 556 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:16,400 Speaker 2: a good idea. Men wan that have I wont I lost? 557 00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:18,480 Speaker 2: I'll come back and win next time, or whatever it 558 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:24,040 Speaker 2: may be. Number three, the choices that a man can 559 00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:31,799 Speaker 2: make here is let just see here, okay? Is immersion 560 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:36,720 Speaker 2: in other passionate pursuits. This is very analogous to seek 561 00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:42,200 Speaker 2: excitement and variety elsewhere. I just want to use the 562 00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:48,160 Speaker 2: three operative words in that sentence, immersion, passionate, pursuit. It's 563 00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:52,160 Speaker 2: interesting again, right, we pursue What will you pursue in life? 564 00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:56,200 Speaker 2: Is a form of asking what field will you enter? Correct? 565 00:38:57,160 --> 00:39:00,120 Speaker 2: But it's also you pursue women. A man pursues women, 566 00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:04,000 Speaker 2: and the very idea of pursuit is used in both 567 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:08,880 Speaker 2: his professional life what is your pursuit? And in his 568 00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:15,200 Speaker 2: social life pursuing women. Again, this is sublimates or works 569 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:21,680 Speaker 2: to channel the libido into better directions. Passionate. If men 570 00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:26,520 Speaker 2: are passionate about these other pursuits which confuse How could 571 00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:30,759 Speaker 2: a man be passionate about postage stamps? Women didn't show 572 00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:34,040 Speaker 2: up at stamp shows generally speaking. I was a stamp 573 00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:36,799 Speaker 2: collector as a kid. I don't remember women showing up 574 00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:41,600 Speaker 2: and getting excited over a nineteen twenty two Columbus ex 575 00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:45,680 Speaker 2: Bowl Unused, unhinged, I mean they thought men were unhinged. 576 00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,960 Speaker 2: They didn't think the stamps were unhinged for getting excited 577 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:53,120 Speaker 2: over that stuff. But we get passionate over this and those, 578 00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:57,000 Speaker 2: and passion is part of the sexual drive. Its passion, obviously, 579 00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:00,840 Speaker 2: So let those passions express themselves in a number of 580 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:06,600 Speaker 2: areas and immerse and immerse yourself in it. Because of 581 00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:10,040 Speaker 2: another thing, which I'm coming to is number four, and 582 00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:14,799 Speaker 2: that is a void boredom. The more a man pursues 583 00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:20,080 Speaker 2: other things than sex, the less time and inclination he 584 00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:23,720 Speaker 2: will have to pursue all that sex that his nature wants. 585 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:28,360 Speaker 2: He's too busy with his stamp collection, or making money, 586 00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:33,520 Speaker 2: or following the Lakers or whatever. It is now obvious 587 00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:38,319 Speaker 2: this is why, by the way, women understand that this 588 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,640 Speaker 2: can go too far. I can't get my guy away 589 00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:46,480 Speaker 2: from sports. I'm a football widow, basketball widow, baseball widow. 590 00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:50,000 Speaker 2: I'm a computer widow. I can't get my husband away 591 00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:54,360 Speaker 2: from the computer screen. These are laments. Men immerse themselves. 592 00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:58,759 Speaker 2: This is our nature. But I don't think it's the 593 00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,799 Speaker 2: healthiest thing in the world. When it goes too far, obviously, 594 00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:06,200 Speaker 2: I think it's a bad thing in fact. But it again, 595 00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:11,280 Speaker 2: if he didn't have those good things, those are neutral 596 00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:15,560 Speaker 2: sports and computer Ideally he will immerse himself in good things. 597 00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:21,400 Speaker 2: That's the best. But whatever the immersion, he must avoid boredom. 598 00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:24,319 Speaker 2: What is the old saw that you'd never hear? What 599 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:29,080 Speaker 2: is it? Idle hands or the devil's playground or workshop 600 00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:32,640 Speaker 2: or something like that. Number one of way up to 601 00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:40,400 Speaker 2: six five five avoid temptation. Very practical, okay. It is 602 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:42,840 Speaker 2: not wise for a guy to take a business trip 603 00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:47,759 Speaker 2: alone with a fellow female employee who was single from 604 00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:52,520 Speaker 2: the office. Probably not wise married, but certainly single. And 605 00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:56,799 Speaker 2: to save money, it's not wise to take the same 606 00:41:56,880 --> 00:42:01,040 Speaker 2: room at the hotel. And to save water, it's not 607 00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:04,600 Speaker 2: wise to take the same shower in the hotel. You 608 00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:07,239 Speaker 2: know what I mean. It's good to save water. I'm 609 00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:11,040 Speaker 2: all for it, avoid flushing that often. But the shower 610 00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:15,400 Speaker 2: really ought to be done separately. It is so commonplace 611 00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:17,120 Speaker 2: that I don't want to spend much time on it. 612 00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:25,759 Speaker 2: But men, it bords the impossible for most men to 613 00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:31,120 Speaker 2: avoid very serious temptation. It's not impossible, of course not, 614 00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:34,400 Speaker 2: but it bords the impossible for the kind is fined 615 00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:43,520 Speaker 2: as best man under certain circumstances not to transgress his 616 00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:47,280 Speaker 2: vows of fidelity. So why put yourself in that position? 617 00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:50,800 Speaker 2: That is why, frankly, I have great sympathy for actors. 618 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:55,920 Speaker 2: I really do. It's almost inconceivable that and I've talked 619 00:42:55,920 --> 00:43:01,000 Speaker 2: to household names about this, so I won't mention their names, 620 00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:04,000 Speaker 2: but male actors about this. And it's obviously tough for 621 00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:07,960 Speaker 2: female actresses, but I'm talking specifically about males that with 622 00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,000 Speaker 2: all the good inclination in the world, can you be 623 00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:13,480 Speaker 2: with the most gorgeous, seductive actresses in the world. You 624 00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:17,279 Speaker 2: are fawned on, they are throwing themselves at you, you 625 00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:20,640 Speaker 2: are acting a love scene anyway, you are thousands of 626 00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:24,520 Speaker 2: miles from your home, you are away on this, on 627 00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:28,960 Speaker 2: the shoot for three months, away from your family. And 628 00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:34,640 Speaker 2: you know it's very strong men who go and meditate 629 00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:39,440 Speaker 2: over Ezekiel at night after acting may be able to 630 00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:43,279 Speaker 2: do it, but for the for normal men with good 631 00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:47,160 Speaker 2: values and good home and so on, it's virtually impossible. 632 00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:50,520 Speaker 2: And so maybe one I don't know, maybe actors should 633 00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:52,759 Speaker 2: defer marriage. I don't know what the answer is. I 634 00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:56,480 Speaker 2: just think I have sympathy for the issue rather than 635 00:43:56,600 --> 00:44:00,880 Speaker 2: contempt for actors whose marriages keep breaking up, because I don't. 636 00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:04,399 Speaker 2: I don't live in that world, and it's a very 637 00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:08,600 Speaker 2: tough world to maintain one's fidelity. It just is. It's 638 00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:13,800 Speaker 2: it's not meant, it's not It's abnormal in its effect. 639 00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:16,759 Speaker 2: It is like telling someone who has to diet they 640 00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:19,480 Speaker 2: must live with the finest chef in the world for 641 00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:23,160 Speaker 2: three months where everyone around them is dining on the 642 00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:28,920 Speaker 2: most delicious, succulent foods and they can only eat protein bars. Okay, 643 00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:32,360 Speaker 2: somebody could do it, Most people wouldn't, no matter how 644 00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:33,759 Speaker 2: much they wanted to lose weight. 645 00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:39,600 Speaker 1: This has been timeless wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit dennispragger 646 00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:43,160 Speaker 1: dot com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, 647 00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:47,840 Speaker 1: and classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles.