Speaker 1: Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of
Speaker 1: hours of Dennis's lectures courses in classic radio programs. Had
Speaker 1: to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to Dennisprager dot com.
Speaker 2: I am old fashioned. I like two sexes. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think all of a sudden, I don't like being
Speaker 2: married to what is known as a new woman. I
Speaker 2: want a wife, not a competitor, competator, competitor.
Speaker 1: Talk about a bit, this crying in the morning thing.
Speaker 1: It's depression, you know, Let's get that fixed. That's what
Speaker 1: men think, isn't it.
Speaker 3: What Unless you've got the answer, unless you can say, oh,
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 2: This bloke in the essex radical fix that, and there's
Speaker 2: no point bothering.
Speaker 4: How do you write women so well?
Speaker 1: I think of a man and I take away reason
Speaker 1: and accountability.
Speaker 2: I love him, I love him and I don't care
Speaker 2: what you think.
Speaker 5: I love him for the for the man he wants
Speaker 5: to be, and I love him for the man that
Speaker 5: he almost is.
Speaker 6: What do people have rowse about him?
Speaker 1: Money?
Speaker 3: Sex, sex, money he wants, she doesn't want.
Speaker 2: She wants, he doesn't want women. I've always been a
Speaker 2: big problem to me, doctor Fusspend.
Speaker 4: Are you listening, doctor, Yes, yes, yes, go on.
Speaker 2: Gone, doctor fuss Bend my hero. Hi everybody, it's the
Speaker 2: Male Female Hour on the Dennis Prager Show. And I
Speaker 2: love this hour, and I know many of you do.
Speaker 2: I have three dedicated hours on the show pretty much
Speaker 2: what I call come Hella high Water hours. We talk
Speaker 2: about this subject. Male Female Hour is the second hour
Speaker 2: on Wednesdays, The Ultimate Issues Hour is the third hour
Speaker 2: on Tuesday, and the Happiness Hour is the second hour
Speaker 2: on on on Friday. Right, the Male Female Hour today
Speaker 2: is on a subject that will hit some of you unfortunately,
Speaker 2: right between the eyes. And I would like to hear
Speaker 2: from you because perhaps you and I together can help
Speaker 2: people understand a rather complex element in the male female relationship.
Speaker 2: And that is the big j. What's the big J? Jealousy? Now,
Speaker 2: you might expect me to say that it is not
Speaker 2: a good thing. You got to learn to control it,
Speaker 2: you'll have a much happier life. Well, you're right about
Speaker 2: the second two, but not about the first one. Yes,
Speaker 2: you do have to learn to control it, and you
Speaker 2: will have a much happier life. But it's not a
Speaker 2: bad thing entirely. The problem with jealousy is degree, not existence.
Speaker 2: Get it. That's the key here. Listen. If there is
Speaker 2: none whatsoever, if it can never be provoked between two people,
Speaker 2: then I think I think that there is some degree
Speaker 2: of love, or at least romantic love missing. If it truly,
Speaker 2: if it truly means nothing. I one is uh. One's
Speaker 2: wife is uh. You know, spending time with different men
Speaker 2: and speaking about them, but it provokes nothing because you know,
Speaker 2: while I just trust my wife. Well, the issue is
Speaker 2: not trusting your wife or trusting your husband. That's a
Speaker 2: separate issue. The issue is do you feel any jealousy?
Speaker 2: And the truth is that you ought to. The question
Speaker 2: is how much and how easily is it triggered? That's
Speaker 2: that's the issue. I mean, there are men and there
Speaker 2: are women, and I think that this seems to run
Speaker 2: and this is purely anecdotal in my experience talking to people,
Speaker 2: it seems to run fifty to fifty. Sometimes it is
Speaker 2: the man who is over controlling and who is jealous
Speaker 2: of the slightest degree of interaction between his wife and
Speaker 2: another man. And sometimes it is the woman who is
Speaker 2: overreacting and who is deeply upset by any interaction between
Speaker 2: her husband and another woman. I have not found this
Speaker 2: to be sex based as in gender based one eight
Speaker 2: Prager seven seven six. You can start calling now because
Speaker 2: here is one of those times. This is one of
Speaker 2: those times whence your examples and questions will be helpful
Speaker 2: to other people. My bottom line is that it is
Speaker 2: there is an inevitability and a health to a certain
Speaker 2: degree of jealousy that you will feel that feeling you
Speaker 2: really love somebody.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 2: It doesn't mean you act on it, it doesn't mean
Speaker 2: you control I'm talking about the feeling of jealousy. Now.
Speaker 2: What you have to do, though, is to control it.
Speaker 2: And here there are two people involved, at least in
Speaker 2: helping you control if they're if they're simply if they
Speaker 2: overwhelm you, or they are constant triggered by, as I say,
Speaker 2: any interaction of your spouse with a member of the
Speaker 2: opposite sex. To first, you have to help yourself be
Speaker 2: Your spouse has to help you, and that is done
Speaker 2: by regular reassurance in a in a in a in
Speaker 2: a verbal, and whatever other way it takes of their
Speaker 2: love for you, their exclusive love for you. I mean,
Speaker 2: a healthy person doesn't care if his or her spouse
Speaker 2: house interacts with members of the opposite sex. You care
Speaker 2: if you feel that they are attracted. And I don't
Speaker 2: mean in the in the usual way men are attracted
Speaker 2: to seventy two women a day, but but in any
Speaker 2: any deeper sense than that. And uh, and that it threatens.
Speaker 2: That's the that's the fear. I mean, what is jealousy
Speaker 2: but ultimately a fear that somebody is coming between my
Speaker 2: loved one and me. Right, I mean, that's that's essentially
Speaker 2: what jealousy is about. If you don't have that fear,
Speaker 2: then then then it's meaningless. And so you have to
Speaker 2: ask yourself rationally, is there really is there really that possibility?
Speaker 2: Is there really that that that potential? You know, your
Speaker 2: husband falls in love with an actress on the screen.
Speaker 2: I you know, I think that the jealousy is not
Speaker 2: called for if he unless he's deeply unhealthy and starts
Speaker 2: stalking her. It's it's it's a it's a fantasy joke.
Speaker 2: You know, your wife goes, oh God, is he gorgeous? Uh?
Speaker 2: You know, big deal. It's actually good. If your spouse
Speaker 2: can say to you he's gorgeous or she's gorgeous, that's
Speaker 2: actually a healthy thing. Means you're not you're not hiding
Speaker 2: your reactions. And my deepest belief is that the more
Speaker 2: you share with your spouse, the better it is. But
Speaker 2: that that's quite different than than obviously you know somebody
Speaker 2: at work who becomes very involved quote unquote professionally in
Speaker 2: life of your of your husband. Let's say, uh, Now,
Speaker 2: unless you know that it's and you can know it
Speaker 2: is possible, you know it's a non issue. You know
Speaker 2: she's she's no threat to to his love for you.
Speaker 2: That's the That's the issue of jealousy, as I said earlier,
Speaker 2: is the threat that a person can pose to the
Speaker 2: exclusivity of your relationship. But having said all that to
Speaker 2: if it's absolutely absent, that's not good either. It gives
Speaker 2: an edge attention that is good for a relationship. It
Speaker 2: also helps, by the way, in doing something else, and
Speaker 2: that is never taking your spouse for granted. If you
Speaker 2: never ever feel any jealousy, it would seem to me
Speaker 2: that you take for granted that your spouse will always
Speaker 2: be with you and always love you, And I don't
Speaker 2: think that that's healthy. That's the subject that I've covered
Speaker 2: and will return to another time, because it's not nearly
Speaker 2: often enough spoken about the taking for granted of a
Speaker 2: spouse that people engage in as if you have tenure,
Speaker 2: like a college professor, can't be fired. I think that
Speaker 2: every spouse should think that they could be fired. In fact, alrighty,
Speaker 2: let's go to let's go to some of your calls
Speaker 2: here one eighth Prager seven to seven to six, and
Speaker 2: let's go to Cleveland, Ohio and Scott. Hello, Scott, Dennis Prager.
Speaker 3: Hey, Dennis, boy, is a real pleasure talking to you.
Speaker 3: Listen to you for a long time, first time calling in.
Speaker 3: I've been with my wife in one form or another
Speaker 3: for twenty five years. We started dating when we were seventeen,
Speaker 3: and she was tended to be quite jealous at that age,
Speaker 3: almost problematic, and over time it's drifted away, and I
Speaker 3: just sort of assumed it was something like a more
Speaker 3: childhood attitude that she grew out of. Interested in what
Speaker 3: other people say today on the subject, but there was
Speaker 3: no real effort on my part to make it go
Speaker 3: away other than enduring it, and in just overtime it
Speaker 3: went away.
Speaker 2: How long did you know each other prior to marriage?
Speaker 3: I was in sixth grade with her. We really, I
Speaker 3: mean I knew her name and that was it.
Speaker 2: Well, well, let me ask you this, what age did you?
Speaker 2: Did you marry twenty three? Okay, so there were six
Speaker 2: years from seventeen to twenty three. And what I think
Speaker 2: is marriage made her more secure than being boyfriend and girlfriend.
Speaker 3: I suspected that as well. That like you said that, right.
Speaker 2: All right, So let me let me say something. This
Speaker 2: is very important. That's another benefit of marriage. I'll explain
Speaker 2: when we come back. This is the Male Female Hour
Speaker 2: on the Dennis Prager Show.
Speaker 1: This episod of Timeless Wisdom. We'll continue right after this.
Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.
Speaker 2: Hi, everybody, Dennis Prager hear the Male Female Hour each week,
Speaker 2: this hour of the show on Wednesdays, and talking to
Speaker 2: you today on the Male Female Hour about jealousy. It
Speaker 2: is a good thing, but it is a bad thing
Speaker 2: when uncalled for or when it becomes terribly controlling, obsessive,
Speaker 2: et cetera. In other words, if it doesn't exist, it's
Speaker 2: not good, and if it exists too much, it's not good.
Speaker 2: Like much of life, this is not exactly different from
Speaker 2: much of life. That a moderate amount of something is
Speaker 2: probably good and an excessive amount is bad. But some
Speaker 2: people might think that it's good if it doesn't exist
Speaker 2: at all. And if with that view, if you really
Speaker 2: love somebody and you are married to that person in particular,
Speaker 2: then an a certain exclusivity is definitional to the marital state.
Speaker 2: That's why the last call from Cleveland was so interesting.
Speaker 2: He was with the woman that became his wife from
Speaker 2: seventeen to twenty three, then married. She was very jealous.
Speaker 2: Then with marriage she became much less jealous, as indeed
Speaker 2: she ought to be in marriage that you have made
Speaker 2: it a formal commitment, a formal and legal commitment to exclusivity. Therefore,
Speaker 2: jealousy should be reduced. Now it comes up though in
Speaker 2: so many different ways. A man looks a man looks
Speaker 2: at another woman, and again it is moderation. Men look
Speaker 2: at women. That is the way we are made. It
Speaker 2: is as instinctive as smelling a nice flower or biting
Speaker 2: into a yummy food. I mean, it is so basic that, frankly,
Speaker 2: you have to be a male to realize it. Now,
Speaker 2: I'm not saying women don't see attractive men, but come on,
Speaker 2: let's be honest. Both women and men look more at women.
Speaker 2: All right, that's just the way it is. And the
Speaker 2: jealousy issue, Oh, he looked at another woman, or he
Speaker 2: was looking at the women in Victoria's Secret catalog and
Speaker 2: how men I am jealous. There's nothing that's usually an
Speaker 2: unhealthy reaction. Now, of course, the reaction may be on
Speaker 2: a far deeper issue than that, and that is that
Speaker 2: you feel very insecure about your looks. Visa VI the
Speaker 2: models of Victoria's Secret. If this is any consolation, every
Speaker 2: woman is insecure of Visa VI, the models in Victoria's
Speaker 2: Secret catalogs, or in Playboy or what have you. That's
Speaker 2: another subject for another time. I can help women out
Speaker 2: a great deal on that issue. As I have said
Speaker 2: over and over and over, overwhelmingly, women prefer men, prefer
Speaker 2: at least healthy men. I can't speak for unhealthy men,
Speaker 2: but for healthy men prefer a live woman that is
Speaker 2: less than perfect to a perfect fantasy. All right, that
Speaker 2: this should be. This is extremely important for women to
Speaker 2: know this now. At the same time, I think that
Speaker 2: a woman who takes care of her body and who
Speaker 2: is married is saying in a very profound way to
Speaker 2: her husband that I love you. All right. These are
Speaker 2: very difficult issues to confront. That's exactly why somebody needs
Speaker 2: to confront them, because they are usually evaded. But don't
Speaker 2: be jealous of the fact in and of itself that
Speaker 2: he has looked at these fantasy pictures or these women
Speaker 2: or the catalog or what have you. All right, let's
Speaker 2: go to more on the jealousy issue, and let's see here,
Speaker 2: got a lot of good calls. Uh, you know, I
Speaker 2: will stay in Cleveland and take uh take Steve Hello, Steve,
Speaker 2: Dennis Prager, Dennis Hello, Steve, Yes.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, can you hear me?
Speaker 7: Okay?
Speaker 2: I sure can.
Speaker 4: Okay, I just had a headset on Yeah, one time
Speaker 4: listener for some caller and good. This issue comes up
Speaker 4: quite often. People accuse people being jealous when it's really envy,
Speaker 4: and I think there needs to be a clarification about that.
Speaker 2: Well, envy and jealousy are different. Envy is when you
Speaker 2: want what somebody else has. Correct, Well, I mean that's
Speaker 2: and even then technically that's coveting. But but envy is
Speaker 2: you have I envy you your car, but there's no
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's exactly jealousy, right, but I.
Speaker 4: Hear people like they use it interchangeably and where.
Speaker 2: They do use it. Yeah, that's why I'm that's why
Speaker 2: I'm sticking just.
Speaker 4: To the J word, right, And and so it's a
Speaker 4: part of a relationship such as even the first commandment.
Speaker 4: But I the Lord, I'm a jealous God because we
Speaker 4: belong to him, and therefore when in a marriage relationship
Speaker 4: we belong to each other the husband, by the.
Speaker 2: Way, I thank you for I thank you for raising that, Steve.
Speaker 2: That that is, in fact a good example of how
Speaker 2: a biblical idea has changed my life. Uh, that's a
Speaker 2: it's a it's a really good example. If God is jealous.
Speaker 2: And I understand that these these are anthropomorphic terms used
Speaker 2: because we are anthros, we are humans, and therefore human
Speaker 2: like terms will be used. Nevertheless, how bad could it
Speaker 2: be if God himself is jealous? God wants an exclusive
Speaker 2: relationship and uh, and to which he is entitled, And
Speaker 2: so I I think that, hey, if it's good for God,
Speaker 2: by golly, it's good for us. So that was that
Speaker 2: actually was a way in which I formulated by view
Speaker 2: that jealousy in and of itself is not a bad thing,
Speaker 2: but is it in fact but can be and is
Speaker 2: a good thing. But of course there could be a
Speaker 2: hell of a lot too much. Let's go to Arcadia,
Speaker 2: California and Susan, Hi, Susan, Dennis Prager.
Speaker 5: Hi, Dennis, love you your.
Speaker 2: So thank you for both.
Speaker 5: I have three points I thought I could make. One
Speaker 5: is I've been married to a personal trainer for ten
Speaker 5: years and pretty much most of his clients tell are women,
Speaker 5: and you know they're wearing work.
Speaker 2: Uh uh are you breaking up? There? Are you on
Speaker 2: a are you traveling?
Speaker 5: I just pulled over. Actually, I'm sorry, good.
Speaker 2: Good, Okay. He's so, he's a personal trainer. Most of
Speaker 2: his clients are women, and they're dressed. And then it
Speaker 2: became garbled.
Speaker 5: Okay, And I said, there would have plenty of opportunity
Speaker 5: for jealousy had my husband not have the character that
Speaker 5: he has. And he is very very conscientious of our
Speaker 5: intimacy and our relationship. And I hear from his clients
Speaker 5: all the time how he glowingly speaks of his family
Speaker 5: and his wife. So that has been very helpful.
Speaker 7: But I do agree with you.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, go on, go on, go on.
Speaker 5: I do agree with you that jealousy is not only
Speaker 5: titillating in a relationship, but I think it's motivating, and
Speaker 5: I can speak for myself that I had gotten a
Speaker 5: little off track and taken care of myself and the
Speaker 5: jealousy that I had motivated me to this year get
Speaker 5: in shape and lose twenty pounds. So that was a
Speaker 5: good thing. And my last point I wanted to make
Speaker 5: is you did a show some months ago about men
Speaker 5: and how they how they're wired and that they look
Speaker 5: at women, and you said go home and tell your
Speaker 5: husbands thank you for his fidelity.
Speaker 3: And I did do.
Speaker 5: That, and I think it was fabulous because my husband
Speaker 5: just brightened up and like the change in the space
Speaker 5: was amazing and he said, Wow, thank you so much
Speaker 5: for acknowledging that and seeing that. So I have to
Speaker 5: thank you, Dennis for that.
Speaker 2: You made my day. Uh, I'm really I'm so I
Speaker 2: can't tell you how happy I am. I'll explain why
Speaker 2: when we come back. One eight Prager seven seven six
Speaker 2: is the Male Female.
Speaker 1: Hour this episode of Timeless Wisdom.
Speaker 2: We'll continue right after this.
Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom bullets.
Speaker 2: Thank you to play. This is Dennis Prager. Hi, everybody,
Speaker 2: I'd like showing to play. Do you have it ready?
Speaker 2: From that spot good. I want you to hear the
Speaker 2: end of the last call from this woman in Arcadia, California.
Speaker 2: I think she's in her forties.
Speaker 5: Go ahead, my last and I wanted to make is
Speaker 5: You did a show some months ago about men and
Speaker 5: how they're wired and that they look at women, and
Speaker 5: you said go home and tell your husband thank you
Speaker 5: for his fidelity. And I did do that, and I
Speaker 5: think it was fabulous because my husband just brightened up
Speaker 5: and like the change in his face was amazing, and
Speaker 5: he said, Wow, thank you so much for acknowledging that
Speaker 5: and seeing that. So I have to thank you, Dennis
Speaker 5: for that.
Speaker 2: By the way, one thing that comes to my mind
Speaker 2: immediately is that what was what was the lady's name?
Speaker 2: Was it Anita? What was her name? I want you
Speaker 2: to try to find that chan sall be able to
Speaker 2: refer to her properly. I bet that she never went
Speaker 2: to graduate school. I mean that utterly, sincerely, And I'll
Speaker 2: tell you why, at least in the liberal arts. And
Speaker 2: the reason is because of the distorted reality that is
Speaker 2: given over to women in particular, but to both sexes
Speaker 2: in the vast majority of cases, in the vast majority
Speaker 2: of universities, and that the longer you're exposed to this
Speaker 2: distorted view of life, the more pernicious its effects. This
Speaker 2: is what you would have been taught. A woman with
Speaker 2: a graduate degree would probably sneer at this notion that
Speaker 2: a woman would say to her husband, thank you, honey,
Speaker 2: for being faithful. I know the battle that you have
Speaker 2: on an almost daily basis because of your it's susan. Okay,
Speaker 2: thank you again, Susan. They would sneer at this because,
Speaker 2: first you know, anything to thank a man for anything
Speaker 2: distinctive is immediately as something that you don't do. But secondly,
Speaker 2: why should I thank him? He should be thanking me
Speaker 2: just as much I have the same battles for a
Speaker 2: fidelity that he does. This is the drivel, the utter,
Speaker 2: and total. It's not even partially true. It's partially true
Speaker 2: for some women. Of course, it's even fully true for
Speaker 2: some women. Unhappily married women who stay faithful and who
Speaker 2: are who are sought by men do have this battle.
Speaker 2: But men have this battle even when they are in love,
Speaker 2: even when things are good. And so look look look
Speaker 2: at how that contributed to her marriage. The other thing
Speaker 2: she said, which was so powerful, which is show what
Speaker 2: a healthy woman she is, is that her jealousy of
Speaker 2: her husband, the trainer, was motivated her to get in shape.
Speaker 2: I mean, the guy works with women, you know in
Speaker 2: Leotard's All Day. It's a good idea, It is a
Speaker 2: very good idea. But there's a third point there that
Speaker 2: I'm talking about. The subject of today's Male Female Hour
Speaker 2: is jealousy. And here was a great example of where
Speaker 2: A he did not foster it. She made that clear
Speaker 2: and men and men should not foster it, nor should
Speaker 2: women obviously. But B where she took that emotion and
Speaker 2: instead of pickling it and getting angry over it, it
Speaker 2: motivated her. That's that's a great credit that there. The
Speaker 2: credit goes to Susan. There's a very significant call. I
Speaker 2: don't usually review calls like that. All right, let me
Speaker 2: take some more here. Glendora, California, Bernard, Hello, Bernard, Dennis Praeger.
Speaker 7: Hello, how are you? Dennis Scala?
Speaker 2: One to tennis? Seven point eight?
Speaker 7: Well, then I hope you were carry up to our
Speaker 7: eight to.
Speaker 2: Live and I don't seek that seven point eight is
Speaker 2: darn good?
Speaker 7: Go ahead, all right, well, well listen, My comment is
Speaker 7: that I think the extent that we have premarital sex
Speaker 7: in our society undermines the element of trust between a
Speaker 7: husband and wife, and in that process it contributes to jealousy.
Speaker 2: You know, I have heard this my whole life. I
Speaker 2: have never for a second related to it. So stay
Speaker 2: on with me and tell me why I never got it.
Speaker 2: I never got it, and I may be atypical, I fully,
Speaker 2: I'm just being open with you, folks. So Bernard will
Speaker 2: explain why when we come back one to eight Praguer
Speaker 2: seven seven six, Hi, everybody, Dennis Prager. Here, the subject
Speaker 2: is jealousy, and it is a good thing in moderation.
Speaker 2: It is a bad thing when irrational and obsessive and
Speaker 2: and and destructive, et cetera. You have to know when
Speaker 2: again the mind believe it or not. Even here, the
Speaker 2: mind has to ultimately be in control. But the absence,
Speaker 2: the complete absence of jealousy is not good either. And
Speaker 2: I'm going to return to Bernard in a moment, but
Speaker 2: I just want to remind you, based on the on
Speaker 2: the marriage improving advice I gave that the woman Susan
Speaker 2: earlier had spoken about, we have a compilation of thirty
Speaker 2: thirty of my best male female hours on CD I
Speaker 2: assume also downloadable and you can call eight hundred two
Speaker 2: two five eight five eight four eight hundred two two
Speaker 2: five eight five eight four. It's about I think it
Speaker 2: could be extraordinary help and fun and interest to anybody
Speaker 2: married or not eight hundred two two five eight five
Speaker 2: eight four, or go to Dennis Prager dot com. Now,
Speaker 2: Bernard raises an issue here that I have heard my
Speaker 2: whole life and I have not personally related to and that.
Speaker 2: But that doesn't mean I may be the freak here.
Speaker 2: I'm just being open. I'm not being argumentative or even
Speaker 2: taking issue with. Bernard says that in this age where
Speaker 2: premarital relations are so common, that has that has increase
Speaker 2: the amount of jealousy between husbands and wives because so
Speaker 2: many husbands and wives had sexual partners prior to the
Speaker 2: person that they married.
Speaker 7: Correct, yes, yes, yes, okay the reason even among themselves.
Speaker 7: It undermines trust if they've only had each other as
Speaker 7: partners even prior to my marriage, because.
Speaker 2: If you did it with me, then you probably did
Speaker 2: it with somebody else.
Speaker 7: Well no, no, it just shows that you don't have
Speaker 7: the character and self discipline. Now, what I would argue
Speaker 7: is that if humanity is designed in the image of God.
Speaker 7: Each of God's character traits and his nature is most
Speaker 7: accurately understood within the context and limits of all the others.
Speaker 7: And so if fidelity is both pre and post marriage,
Speaker 7: it is undermine the totality of character.
Speaker 2: What does fidelity pre marriage mean? How can what fidelity
Speaker 2: outside of marriage?
Speaker 4: Faithful?
Speaker 7: Pre marriage is like abstaining from sexual activity.
Speaker 2: Well, that's not fidelity. That's chastity.
Speaker 7: Chastity that is being faithful to hope with a character trait.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, you're mixing the word. That's why we
Speaker 2: have to be precise here. That's just not accurate. Fidelity
Speaker 2: is to somebody. Can't be faithful to a trait? I
Speaker 2: mean you can, but it makes no sense. If somebody
Speaker 2: is watches his money, is he faithful? He's a very
Speaker 2: faithful man. What is he faithful to his bank account?
Speaker 2: I come on, This is when religion doesn't look sophisticated.
Speaker 2: I believe deeply that we're created in God's image. I
Speaker 2: also I also have a different understanding of the concept.
Speaker 2: Like God, we know good and evil. That that's how
Speaker 2: I understand. The animals are not created in God's image.
Speaker 2: They don't know good and evil. We have moral choice.
Speaker 2: Animals don't anyway, That's how I understand it. But but
Speaker 2: putting that away. Faithful is to somebody, or you could
Speaker 2: be faithful to God if you will, but we're talking
Speaker 2: with humans. Fidelity means faithful to a person. Okay. I
Speaker 2: think Bernard's first issue is an illegit one. A lot
Speaker 2: of people feel jealousy visa viv the lover or lovers
Speaker 2: that somebody had prior to marriage. My view is that
Speaker 2: if they really love you, and you know that, I
Speaker 2: don't see any reason and I do believe that reason
Speaker 2: and and and and the mind must play the dominant
Speaker 2: role here. And I I I'm debating on this, you know,
Speaker 2: how transparent here and what to say? I look, my
Speaker 2: view is in we we'll talk about this. And I've said
Speaker 2: this many times and I've told my kids this. I
Speaker 2: believe that people should be should have some sexual relations
Speaker 2: prior to marriage, but not intercourse. I believe that the
Speaker 2: line should stop at intercourse. That's the ideal, all right,
Speaker 2: That's that's that's what I that's what I believe, because
Speaker 2: when there is no sexual contact, you have no idea
Speaker 2: what your chemistry is and it may be a disaster
Speaker 2: once you're married, and I am more interested in preventing
Speaker 2: divorce than I am in preventing any sexual contact prior
Speaker 2: to marriage. That's but intercourse I hold has a a
Speaker 2: sacred status, if you will, and so that there are
Speaker 2: many ways of knowing whether you can sexually relate without
Speaker 2: that specific act. So that's my position. Having said that,
Speaker 2: I've never been of the school of you have to
Speaker 2: be a virgin. I don't never you know, the preoccupation
Speaker 2: with virginity strikes me is literally primitive. Others will have
Speaker 2: different views. But to be jealous of the people who
Speaker 2: were intimate with my wife or my husband before we
Speaker 2: ever met and he chose me, I would think the opposite.
Speaker 2: I would think that you would say, look, he's had
Speaker 2: all these other women, or she's had all these other
Speaker 2: men and she chose me. She's not married to those men, right,
Speaker 2: she married me. He's not married to those women. He
Speaker 2: married me. Now, if the guy walks around or in
Speaker 2: the middle of the night he's mumbling, you know, Erica, Erica,
Speaker 2: and your name is Jennifer, okay, that's an issue. But
Speaker 2: unless it's prompted by something as obvious that it's a
Speaker 2: non issue. You know, you know, this is to me
Speaker 2: one of those examples of gratuitous misery. There's enough to
Speaker 2: be miserable about in real life without concocting ghosts to
Speaker 2: be jealous of. All right, I'll take more of your
Speaker 2: calls when we come back again. The number four the
Speaker 2: thirty male female hours is eight hundred two two five
Speaker 2: eighty five eighty four. Back in a moment on Dennis Preigner.
Speaker 1: This episode of timeless Wisdom. We'll continue right after this.
Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.
Speaker 2: You Sigma, I say hello? Why are you?
Speaker 3: Sagamar say hello?
Speaker 2: I say hello too, Dennis Prager. Here. By the way,
Speaker 2: the number I gave out is just for the CDs
Speaker 2: and that are available not to get on the show.
Speaker 2: Eight hundred and two to two five eight five eight
Speaker 2: four is for what I mentioned earlier in any other CDs.
Speaker 2: All right, just you should know not to speak to
Speaker 2: me and not to speak on the air. Okay, all right,
Speaker 2: let me go to more calls. Jealousy is the subject.
Speaker 2: This is clearly a very very significant issue. And let's
Speaker 2: go to Mark in Glendora, California. Hi, Mark, Dennis Prager.
Speaker 6: Dennis Good, My question, or is what's your explanation for
Speaker 6: when a woman or a man are jealous of their
Speaker 6: partner's best friend who is the same sex, and they're
Speaker 6: not threatened by sexual orientation or whether they're going to
Speaker 6: have sex with each other or that?
Speaker 2: All right? Is that because are you the friend or
Speaker 2: are you the husband?
Speaker 6: It's not. I don't have a case. I'm not in
Speaker 6: the relationship.
Speaker 2: Oh oh, but you've seen this happen. Is that why
Speaker 2: you're asking?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I've seen in some of my previous relationships for
Speaker 6: some of them.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, so here very simply, there's not a
Speaker 2: lot of time. So let me just very quickly say this.
Speaker 2: There are times where there can be there can be
Speaker 2: some legitimacy to such jealousy. If vastly great greater amounts
Speaker 2: of time are spent with the friend. If if you're
Speaker 2: home and you're in bed with your wife and you
Speaker 2: call up your friend for a half hour in bed,
Speaker 2: and you do that regularly, I could see where the
Speaker 2: wife would have a reason for jealousy. Most of the
Speaker 2: time that I have encountered this, it is it has
Speaker 2: not been triggered, but or rather as a perhaps an
Speaker 2: irrational part of a desire to own own the husband
Speaker 2: or the wife. I think it's a magnificent thing. If
Speaker 2: my wife has girlfriends, I love them. I love that
Speaker 2: she likes them. But yes, I could imagine that if
Speaker 2: if truly I felt the time for me were in
Speaker 2: great amounts taken away, Yes I would. I would have
Speaker 2: a jealous reaction, not of them, but of the time.
Speaker 2: And I could see that a a woman. But what
Speaker 2: you do is you embrace the friend and then bring
Speaker 2: them into into your joint life. Jane in Henderson, Texas,
Speaker 2: you have a few seconds. You say, your husband goes
Speaker 2: one step further than just looking at women. What is
Speaker 2: that step?
Speaker 7: If he sees someone that he thinks is attractive, he
Speaker 7: instead of walking around him, he'll bump into him or
Speaker 7: they have to turn and look at him.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, all right, Yeah I need to talk to him, Jane,
Speaker 2: I really do that. I agree. I just wanted to
Speaker 2: know what example you could give. I would love you
Speaker 2: to call in on Friday, when people can call in
Speaker 2: on anything. I'd love to talk to you about this.
Speaker 2: This has been the male Female Hour. I certainly hope
Speaker 2: it's helped. This is the Dennis Prager Show, Don't Go Away.
Speaker 1: This has been timeless wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit Dennisprager
Speaker 1: dot com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses,
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