1 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of 2 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 1: hours of Dennis's lectures courses in classic radio programs. Had 3 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:39,720 Speaker 1: to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to Dennisprager dot com. 4 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:43,319 Speaker 2: I am old fashioned. I like two sexes. I don't know. 5 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:44,840 Speaker 2: I think all of a sudden, I don't like being 6 00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:46,880 Speaker 2: married to what is known as a new woman. I 7 00:00:46,879 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 2: want a wife, not a competitor, competator, competitor. 8 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 1: Talk about a bit, this crying in the morning thing. 9 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 1: It's depression, you know, Let's get that fixed. That's what 10 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:56,000 Speaker 1: men think, isn't it. 11 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:59,880 Speaker 3: What Unless you've got the answer, unless you can say, oh, 12 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:00,080 Speaker 3: I know. 13 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:03,120 Speaker 2: This bloke in the essex radical fix that, and there's 14 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 2: no point bothering. 15 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:05,919 Speaker 4: How do you write women so well? 16 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:09,920 Speaker 1: I think of a man and I take away reason 17 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 1: and accountability. 18 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,080 Speaker 2: I love him, I love him and I don't care 19 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:14,720 Speaker 2: what you think. 20 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:17,960 Speaker 5: I love him for the for the man he wants 21 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,119 Speaker 5: to be, and I love him for the man that 22 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:21,759 Speaker 5: he almost is. 23 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,880 Speaker 6: What do people have rowse about him? 24 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:24,920 Speaker 1: Money? 25 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 3: Sex, sex, money he wants, she doesn't want. 26 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:34,760 Speaker 2: She wants, he doesn't want women. I've always been a 27 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:37,160 Speaker 2: big problem to me, doctor Fusspend. 28 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 4: Are you listening, doctor, Yes, yes, yes, go on. 29 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 2: Gone, doctor fuss Bend my hero. Hi everybody, it's the 30 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 2: Male Female Hour on the Dennis Prager Show. And I 31 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 2: love this hour, and I know many of you do. 32 00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:00,440 Speaker 2: I have three dedicated hours on the show pretty much 33 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 2: what I call come Hella high Water hours. We talk 34 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 2: about this subject. Male Female Hour is the second hour 35 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,960 Speaker 2: on Wednesdays, The Ultimate Issues Hour is the third hour 36 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,680 Speaker 2: on Tuesday, and the Happiness Hour is the second hour 37 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 2: on on on Friday. Right, the Male Female Hour today 38 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 2: is on a subject that will hit some of you unfortunately, 39 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:28,359 Speaker 2: right between the eyes. And I would like to hear 40 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 2: from you because perhaps you and I together can help 41 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:39,560 Speaker 2: people understand a rather complex element in the male female relationship. 42 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:48,720 Speaker 2: And that is the big j. What's the big J? Jealousy? Now, 43 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,920 Speaker 2: you might expect me to say that it is not 44 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 2: a good thing. You got to learn to control it, 45 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:59,359 Speaker 2: you'll have a much happier life. Well, you're right about 46 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:03,240 Speaker 2: the second two, but not about the first one. Yes, 47 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 2: you do have to learn to control it, and you 48 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:08,320 Speaker 2: will have a much happier life. But it's not a 49 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:15,799 Speaker 2: bad thing entirely. The problem with jealousy is degree, not existence. 50 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:22,560 Speaker 2: Get it. That's the key here. Listen. If there is 51 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:26,640 Speaker 2: none whatsoever, if it can never be provoked between two people, 52 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:32,240 Speaker 2: then I think I think that there is some degree 53 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 2: of love, or at least romantic love missing. If it truly, 54 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 2: if it truly means nothing. I one is uh. One's 55 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 2: wife is uh. You know, spending time with different men 56 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 2: and speaking about them, but it provokes nothing because you know, 57 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,520 Speaker 2: while I just trust my wife. Well, the issue is 58 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:02,240 Speaker 2: not trusting your wife or trusting your husband. That's a 59 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 2: separate issue. The issue is do you feel any jealousy? 60 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:11,400 Speaker 2: And the truth is that you ought to. The question 61 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 2: is how much and how easily is it triggered? That's 62 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 2: that's the issue. I mean, there are men and there 63 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,960 Speaker 2: are women, and I think that this seems to run 64 00:04:22,159 --> 00:04:26,280 Speaker 2: and this is purely anecdotal in my experience talking to people, 65 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:29,479 Speaker 2: it seems to run fifty to fifty. Sometimes it is 66 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,680 Speaker 2: the man who is over controlling and who is jealous 67 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:35,919 Speaker 2: of the slightest degree of interaction between his wife and 68 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 2: another man. And sometimes it is the woman who is 69 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:44,080 Speaker 2: overreacting and who is deeply upset by any interaction between 70 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:48,040 Speaker 2: her husband and another woman. I have not found this 71 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 2: to be sex based as in gender based one eight 72 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 2: Prager seven seven six. You can start calling now because 73 00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:00,120 Speaker 2: here is one of those times. This is one of 74 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:06,840 Speaker 2: those times whence your examples and questions will be helpful 75 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:10,680 Speaker 2: to other people. My bottom line is that it is 76 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:15,560 Speaker 2: there is an inevitability and a health to a certain 77 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:20,599 Speaker 2: degree of jealousy that you will feel that feeling you 78 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 2: really love somebody. 79 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:22,560 Speaker 5: Uh. 80 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 2: It doesn't mean you act on it, it doesn't mean 81 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:32,600 Speaker 2: you control I'm talking about the feeling of jealousy. Now. 82 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,280 Speaker 2: What you have to do, though, is to control it. 83 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:39,359 Speaker 2: And here there are two people involved, at least in 84 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 2: helping you control if they're if they're simply if they 85 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:47,720 Speaker 2: overwhelm you, or they are constant triggered by, as I say, 86 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,039 Speaker 2: any interaction of your spouse with a member of the 87 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 2: opposite sex. To first, you have to help yourself be 88 00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:59,559 Speaker 2: Your spouse has to help you, and that is done 89 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:05,160 Speaker 2: by regular reassurance in a in a in a in 90 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 2: a verbal, and whatever other way it takes of their 91 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 2: love for you, their exclusive love for you. I mean, 92 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 2: a healthy person doesn't care if his or her spouse 93 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,960 Speaker 2: house interacts with members of the opposite sex. You care 94 00:06:23,279 --> 00:06:27,080 Speaker 2: if you feel that they are attracted. And I don't 95 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,280 Speaker 2: mean in the in the usual way men are attracted 96 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:32,840 Speaker 2: to seventy two women a day, but but in any 97 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:36,960 Speaker 2: any deeper sense than that. And uh, and that it threatens. 98 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,480 Speaker 2: That's the that's the fear. I mean, what is jealousy 99 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:44,159 Speaker 2: but ultimately a fear that somebody is coming between my 100 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:48,080 Speaker 2: loved one and me. Right, I mean, that's that's essentially 101 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,479 Speaker 2: what jealousy is about. If you don't have that fear, 102 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:55,200 Speaker 2: then then then it's meaningless. And so you have to 103 00:06:55,240 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 2: ask yourself rationally, is there really is there really that possibility? 104 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:08,720 Speaker 2: Is there really that that that potential? You know, your 105 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,280 Speaker 2: husband falls in love with an actress on the screen. 106 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 2: I you know, I think that the jealousy is not 107 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 2: called for if he unless he's deeply unhealthy and starts 108 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:21,160 Speaker 2: stalking her. It's it's it's a it's a fantasy joke. 109 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:26,240 Speaker 2: You know, your wife goes, oh God, is he gorgeous? Uh? 110 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:31,720 Speaker 2: You know, big deal. It's actually good. If your spouse 111 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 2: can say to you he's gorgeous or she's gorgeous, that's 112 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 2: actually a healthy thing. Means you're not you're not hiding 113 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:42,440 Speaker 2: your reactions. And my deepest belief is that the more 114 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:46,840 Speaker 2: you share with your spouse, the better it is. But 115 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 2: that that's quite different than than obviously you know somebody 116 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:58,080 Speaker 2: at work who becomes very involved quote unquote professionally in 117 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:02,440 Speaker 2: life of your of your husband. Let's say, uh, Now, 118 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:05,760 Speaker 2: unless you know that it's and you can know it 119 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:09,160 Speaker 2: is possible, you know it's a non issue. You know 120 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 2: she's she's no threat to to his love for you. 121 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:16,160 Speaker 2: That's the That's the issue of jealousy, as I said earlier, 122 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 2: is the threat that a person can pose to the 123 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:27,240 Speaker 2: exclusivity of your relationship. But having said all that to 124 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:31,600 Speaker 2: if it's absolutely absent, that's not good either. It gives 125 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:37,080 Speaker 2: an edge attention that is good for a relationship. It 126 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,560 Speaker 2: also helps, by the way, in doing something else, and 127 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 2: that is never taking your spouse for granted. If you 128 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 2: never ever feel any jealousy, it would seem to me 129 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 2: that you take for granted that your spouse will always 130 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:53,280 Speaker 2: be with you and always love you, And I don't 131 00:08:53,320 --> 00:09:00,480 Speaker 2: think that that's healthy. That's the subject that I've covered 132 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:03,640 Speaker 2: and will return to another time, because it's not nearly 133 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:08,200 Speaker 2: often enough spoken about the taking for granted of a 134 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:16,840 Speaker 2: spouse that people engage in as if you have tenure, 135 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:21,280 Speaker 2: like a college professor, can't be fired. I think that 136 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:26,959 Speaker 2: every spouse should think that they could be fired. In fact, alrighty, 137 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 2: let's go to let's go to some of your calls 138 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:35,120 Speaker 2: here one eighth Prager seven to seven to six, and 139 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:39,760 Speaker 2: let's go to Cleveland, Ohio and Scott. Hello, Scott, Dennis Prager. 140 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,959 Speaker 3: Hey, Dennis, boy, is a real pleasure talking to you. 141 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,520 Speaker 3: Listen to you for a long time, first time calling in. 142 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,600 Speaker 3: I've been with my wife in one form or another 143 00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:53,439 Speaker 3: for twenty five years. We started dating when we were seventeen, 144 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:59,960 Speaker 3: and she was tended to be quite jealous at that age, 145 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:07,880 Speaker 3: almost problematic, and over time it's drifted away, and I 146 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,800 Speaker 3: just sort of assumed it was something like a more 147 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:16,600 Speaker 3: childhood attitude that she grew out of. Interested in what 148 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:19,480 Speaker 3: other people say today on the subject, but there was 149 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,320 Speaker 3: no real effort on my part to make it go 150 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,160 Speaker 3: away other than enduring it, and in just overtime it 151 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 3: went away. 152 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:30,360 Speaker 2: How long did you know each other prior to marriage? 153 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 3: I was in sixth grade with her. We really, I 154 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,600 Speaker 3: mean I knew her name and that was it. 155 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 2: Well, well, let me ask you this, what age did you? 156 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:46,640 Speaker 2: Did you marry twenty three? Okay, so there were six 157 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:52,440 Speaker 2: years from seventeen to twenty three. And what I think 158 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:57,439 Speaker 2: is marriage made her more secure than being boyfriend and girlfriend. 159 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:02,280 Speaker 3: I suspected that as well. That like you said that, right. 160 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 2: All right, So let me let me say something. This 161 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:09,640 Speaker 2: is very important. That's another benefit of marriage. I'll explain 162 00:11:09,679 --> 00:11:12,000 Speaker 2: when we come back. This is the Male Female Hour 163 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 2: on the Dennis Prager Show. 164 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 1: This episod of Timeless Wisdom. We'll continue right after this. 165 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:32,679 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom. 166 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 2: Hi, everybody, Dennis Prager hear the Male Female Hour each week, 167 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:42,240 Speaker 2: this hour of the show on Wednesdays, and talking to 168 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:45,200 Speaker 2: you today on the Male Female Hour about jealousy. It 169 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 2: is a good thing, but it is a bad thing 170 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:55,359 Speaker 2: when uncalled for or when it becomes terribly controlling, obsessive, 171 00:11:55,440 --> 00:12:00,120 Speaker 2: et cetera. In other words, if it doesn't exist, it's 172 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:03,440 Speaker 2: not good, and if it exists too much, it's not good. 173 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,920 Speaker 2: Like much of life, this is not exactly different from 174 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,920 Speaker 2: much of life. That a moderate amount of something is 175 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 2: probably good and an excessive amount is bad. But some 176 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,880 Speaker 2: people might think that it's good if it doesn't exist 177 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:21,320 Speaker 2: at all. And if with that view, if you really 178 00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:25,319 Speaker 2: love somebody and you are married to that person in particular, 179 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 2: then an a certain exclusivity is definitional to the marital state. 180 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:35,200 Speaker 2: That's why the last call from Cleveland was so interesting. 181 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:39,040 Speaker 2: He was with the woman that became his wife from 182 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:42,400 Speaker 2: seventeen to twenty three, then married. She was very jealous. 183 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:45,440 Speaker 2: Then with marriage she became much less jealous, as indeed 184 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 2: she ought to be in marriage that you have made 185 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:56,320 Speaker 2: it a formal commitment, a formal and legal commitment to exclusivity. Therefore, 186 00:12:56,440 --> 00:13:00,160 Speaker 2: jealousy should be reduced. Now it comes up though in 187 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,840 Speaker 2: so many different ways. A man looks a man looks 188 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:07,520 Speaker 2: at another woman, and again it is moderation. Men look 189 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,199 Speaker 2: at women. That is the way we are made. It 190 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:15,840 Speaker 2: is as instinctive as smelling a nice flower or biting 191 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 2: into a yummy food. I mean, it is so basic that, frankly, 192 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:24,320 Speaker 2: you have to be a male to realize it. Now, 193 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,560 Speaker 2: I'm not saying women don't see attractive men, but come on, 194 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,160 Speaker 2: let's be honest. Both women and men look more at women. 195 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 2: All right, that's just the way it is. And the 196 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:36,600 Speaker 2: jealousy issue, Oh, he looked at another woman, or he 197 00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:40,440 Speaker 2: was looking at the women in Victoria's Secret catalog and 198 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:46,200 Speaker 2: how men I am jealous. There's nothing that's usually an 199 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:51,880 Speaker 2: unhealthy reaction. Now, of course, the reaction may be on 200 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:55,120 Speaker 2: a far deeper issue than that, and that is that 201 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:58,560 Speaker 2: you feel very insecure about your looks. Visa VI the 202 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:02,600 Speaker 2: models of Victoria's Secret. If this is any consolation, every 203 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:08,800 Speaker 2: woman is insecure of Visa VI, the models in Victoria's 204 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 2: Secret catalogs, or in Playboy or what have you. That's 205 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,839 Speaker 2: another subject for another time. I can help women out 206 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:17,640 Speaker 2: a great deal on that issue. As I have said 207 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:23,120 Speaker 2: over and over and over, overwhelmingly, women prefer men, prefer 208 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 2: at least healthy men. I can't speak for unhealthy men, 209 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,640 Speaker 2: but for healthy men prefer a live woman that is 210 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:36,280 Speaker 2: less than perfect to a perfect fantasy. All right, that 211 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,880 Speaker 2: this should be. This is extremely important for women to 212 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,720 Speaker 2: know this now. At the same time, I think that 213 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:46,640 Speaker 2: a woman who takes care of her body and who 214 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:49,560 Speaker 2: is married is saying in a very profound way to 215 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:53,080 Speaker 2: her husband that I love you. All right. These are 216 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:58,480 Speaker 2: very difficult issues to confront. That's exactly why somebody needs 217 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:04,320 Speaker 2: to confront them, because they are usually evaded. But don't 218 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,520 Speaker 2: be jealous of the fact in and of itself that 219 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:11,760 Speaker 2: he has looked at these fantasy pictures or these women 220 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:16,440 Speaker 2: or the catalog or what have you. All right, let's 221 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:21,800 Speaker 2: go to more on the jealousy issue, and let's see here, 222 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:26,320 Speaker 2: got a lot of good calls. Uh, you know, I 223 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:30,600 Speaker 2: will stay in Cleveland and take uh take Steve Hello, Steve, 224 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:35,080 Speaker 2: Dennis Prager, Dennis Hello, Steve, Yes. 225 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,400 Speaker 4: Yes, yes, can you hear me? 226 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:36,720 Speaker 7: Okay? 227 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 2: I sure can. 228 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 4: Okay, I just had a headset on Yeah, one time 229 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,680 Speaker 4: listener for some caller and good. This issue comes up 230 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:48,560 Speaker 4: quite often. People accuse people being jealous when it's really envy, 231 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:51,720 Speaker 4: and I think there needs to be a clarification about that. 232 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:56,120 Speaker 2: Well, envy and jealousy are different. Envy is when you 233 00:15:56,840 --> 00:16:02,480 Speaker 2: want what somebody else has. Correct, Well, I mean that's 234 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:06,840 Speaker 2: and even then technically that's coveting. But but envy is 235 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:11,600 Speaker 2: you have I envy you your car, but there's no 236 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:16,080 Speaker 2: I don't know if that's exactly jealousy, right, but I. 237 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,520 Speaker 4: Hear people like they use it interchangeably and where. 238 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,560 Speaker 2: They do use it. Yeah, that's why I'm that's why 239 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:22,600 Speaker 2: I'm sticking just. 240 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:25,840 Speaker 4: To the J word, right, And and so it's a 241 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,680 Speaker 4: part of a relationship such as even the first commandment. 242 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:32,000 Speaker 4: But I the Lord, I'm a jealous God because we 243 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:36,320 Speaker 4: belong to him, and therefore when in a marriage relationship 244 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,320 Speaker 4: we belong to each other the husband, by the. 245 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:42,440 Speaker 2: Way, I thank you for I thank you for raising that, Steve. 246 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:46,920 Speaker 2: That that is, in fact a good example of how 247 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:52,800 Speaker 2: a biblical idea has changed my life. Uh, that's a 248 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:56,480 Speaker 2: it's a it's a really good example. If God is jealous. 249 00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:00,120 Speaker 2: And I understand that these these are anthropomorphic terms used 250 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:04,359 Speaker 2: because we are anthros, we are humans, and therefore human 251 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:07,799 Speaker 2: like terms will be used. Nevertheless, how bad could it 252 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:13,000 Speaker 2: be if God himself is jealous? God wants an exclusive 253 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:18,280 Speaker 2: relationship and uh, and to which he is entitled, And 254 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 2: so I I think that, hey, if it's good for God, 255 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:24,760 Speaker 2: by golly, it's good for us. So that was that 256 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:28,280 Speaker 2: actually was a way in which I formulated by view 257 00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:30,680 Speaker 2: that jealousy in and of itself is not a bad thing, 258 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,040 Speaker 2: but is it in fact but can be and is 259 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:37,280 Speaker 2: a good thing. But of course there could be a 260 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,200 Speaker 2: hell of a lot too much. Let's go to Arcadia, 261 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:43,320 Speaker 2: California and Susan, Hi, Susan, Dennis Prager. 262 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,520 Speaker 5: Hi, Dennis, love you your. 263 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,240 Speaker 2: So thank you for both. 264 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,720 Speaker 5: I have three points I thought I could make. One 265 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,480 Speaker 5: is I've been married to a personal trainer for ten 266 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:57,920 Speaker 5: years and pretty much most of his clients tell are women, 267 00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:00,840 Speaker 5: and you know they're wearing work. 268 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,080 Speaker 2: Uh uh are you breaking up? There? Are you on 269 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:05,360 Speaker 2: a are you traveling? 270 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:08,639 Speaker 5: I just pulled over. Actually, I'm sorry, good. 271 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,320 Speaker 2: Good, Okay. He's so, he's a personal trainer. Most of 272 00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:15,239 Speaker 2: his clients are women, and they're dressed. And then it 273 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:16,120 Speaker 2: became garbled. 274 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:20,199 Speaker 5: Okay, And I said, there would have plenty of opportunity 275 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:25,320 Speaker 5: for jealousy had my husband not have the character that 276 00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:29,160 Speaker 5: he has. And he is very very conscientious of our 277 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:32,760 Speaker 5: intimacy and our relationship. And I hear from his clients 278 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,880 Speaker 5: all the time how he glowingly speaks of his family 279 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:39,560 Speaker 5: and his wife. So that has been very helpful. 280 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:41,840 Speaker 7: But I do agree with you. 281 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,159 Speaker 2: I'm sorry, go on, go on, go on. 282 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,200 Speaker 5: I do agree with you that jealousy is not only 283 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:52,520 Speaker 5: titillating in a relationship, but I think it's motivating, and 284 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,080 Speaker 5: I can speak for myself that I had gotten a 285 00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:58,960 Speaker 5: little off track and taken care of myself and the 286 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:02,040 Speaker 5: jealousy that I had motivated me to this year get 287 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,240 Speaker 5: in shape and lose twenty pounds. So that was a 288 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:08,320 Speaker 5: good thing. And my last point I wanted to make 289 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:12,840 Speaker 5: is you did a show some months ago about men 290 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:16,240 Speaker 5: and how they how they're wired and that they look 291 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 5: at women, and you said go home and tell your 292 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,320 Speaker 5: husbands thank you for his fidelity. 293 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:21,960 Speaker 3: And I did do. 294 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,760 Speaker 5: That, and I think it was fabulous because my husband 295 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:28,480 Speaker 5: just brightened up and like the change in the space 296 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,120 Speaker 5: was amazing and he said, Wow, thank you so much 297 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,480 Speaker 5: for acknowledging that and seeing that. So I have to 298 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:34,520 Speaker 5: thank you, Dennis for that. 299 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:43,159 Speaker 2: You made my day. Uh, I'm really I'm so I 300 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,520 Speaker 2: can't tell you how happy I am. I'll explain why 301 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:48,800 Speaker 2: when we come back. One eight Prager seven seven six 302 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,159 Speaker 2: is the Male Female. 303 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:56,640 Speaker 1: Hour this episode of Timeless Wisdom. 304 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 2: We'll continue right after this. 305 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:12,560 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom bullets. 306 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:22,199 Speaker 2: Thank you to play. This is Dennis Prager. Hi, everybody, 307 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,760 Speaker 2: I'd like showing to play. Do you have it ready? 308 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,560 Speaker 2: From that spot good. I want you to hear the 309 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:35,440 Speaker 2: end of the last call from this woman in Arcadia, California. 310 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:36,680 Speaker 2: I think she's in her forties. 311 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:43,040 Speaker 5: Go ahead, my last and I wanted to make is 312 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 5: You did a show some months ago about men and 313 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,880 Speaker 5: how they're wired and that they look at women, and 314 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 5: you said go home and tell your husband thank you 315 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:57,040 Speaker 5: for his fidelity. And I did do that, and I 316 00:20:57,080 --> 00:21:00,560 Speaker 5: think it was fabulous because my husband just brightened up 317 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,840 Speaker 5: and like the change in his face was amazing, and 318 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,840 Speaker 5: he said, Wow, thank you so much for acknowledging that 319 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,800 Speaker 5: and seeing that. So I have to thank you, Dennis 320 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:09,040 Speaker 5: for that. 321 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 2: By the way, one thing that comes to my mind 322 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:19,000 Speaker 2: immediately is that what was what was the lady's name? 323 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,200 Speaker 2: Was it Anita? What was her name? I want you 324 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:25,000 Speaker 2: to try to find that chan sall be able to 325 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:28,640 Speaker 2: refer to her properly. I bet that she never went 326 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 2: to graduate school. I mean that utterly, sincerely, And I'll 327 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:37,399 Speaker 2: tell you why, at least in the liberal arts. And 328 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:41,800 Speaker 2: the reason is because of the distorted reality that is 329 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,800 Speaker 2: given over to women in particular, but to both sexes 330 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,880 Speaker 2: in the vast majority of cases, in the vast majority 331 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:53,640 Speaker 2: of universities, and that the longer you're exposed to this 332 00:21:54,600 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 2: distorted view of life, the more pernicious its effects. This 333 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,439 Speaker 2: is what you would have been taught. A woman with 334 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:10,040 Speaker 2: a graduate degree would probably sneer at this notion that 335 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,479 Speaker 2: a woman would say to her husband, thank you, honey, 336 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:15,040 Speaker 2: for being faithful. I know the battle that you have 337 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:20,240 Speaker 2: on an almost daily basis because of your it's susan. Okay, 338 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:26,240 Speaker 2: thank you again, Susan. They would sneer at this because, 339 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,960 Speaker 2: first you know, anything to thank a man for anything 340 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 2: distinctive is immediately as something that you don't do. But secondly, 341 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:37,960 Speaker 2: why should I thank him? He should be thanking me 342 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:41,119 Speaker 2: just as much I have the same battles for a 343 00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:45,800 Speaker 2: fidelity that he does. This is the drivel, the utter, 344 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:49,720 Speaker 2: and total. It's not even partially true. It's partially true 345 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:52,119 Speaker 2: for some women. Of course, it's even fully true for 346 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:56,440 Speaker 2: some women. Unhappily married women who stay faithful and who 347 00:22:56,520 --> 00:23:01,040 Speaker 2: are who are sought by men do have this battle. 348 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:05,240 Speaker 2: But men have this battle even when they are in love, 349 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:12,960 Speaker 2: even when things are good. And so look look look 350 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,720 Speaker 2: at how that contributed to her marriage. The other thing 351 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,199 Speaker 2: she said, which was so powerful, which is show what 352 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,280 Speaker 2: a healthy woman she is, is that her jealousy of 353 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:28,080 Speaker 2: her husband, the trainer, was motivated her to get in shape. 354 00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:30,439 Speaker 2: I mean, the guy works with women, you know in 355 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:35,840 Speaker 2: Leotard's All Day. It's a good idea, It is a 356 00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:40,280 Speaker 2: very good idea. But there's a third point there that 357 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:43,480 Speaker 2: I'm talking about. The subject of today's Male Female Hour 358 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:47,399 Speaker 2: is jealousy. And here was a great example of where 359 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,679 Speaker 2: A he did not foster it. She made that clear 360 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,920 Speaker 2: and men and men should not foster it, nor should 361 00:23:54,960 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 2: women obviously. But B where she took that emotion and 362 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:04,639 Speaker 2: instead of pickling it and getting angry over it, it 363 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:10,560 Speaker 2: motivated her. That's that's a great credit that there. The 364 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:16,760 Speaker 2: credit goes to Susan. There's a very significant call. I 365 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:20,639 Speaker 2: don't usually review calls like that. All right, let me 366 00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:25,560 Speaker 2: take some more here. Glendora, California, Bernard, Hello, Bernard, Dennis Praeger. 367 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,040 Speaker 7: Hello, how are you? Dennis Scala? 368 00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:29,600 Speaker 2: One to tennis? Seven point eight? 369 00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:32,320 Speaker 7: Well, then I hope you were carry up to our 370 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:32,720 Speaker 7: eight to. 371 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,960 Speaker 2: Live and I don't seek that seven point eight is 372 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:36,480 Speaker 2: darn good? 373 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:40,479 Speaker 7: Go ahead, all right, well, well listen, My comment is 374 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:44,000 Speaker 7: that I think the extent that we have premarital sex 375 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:48,359 Speaker 7: in our society undermines the element of trust between a 376 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:53,160 Speaker 7: husband and wife, and in that process it contributes to jealousy. 377 00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:58,439 Speaker 2: You know, I have heard this my whole life. I 378 00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:02,560 Speaker 2: have never for a second related to it. So stay 379 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:09,520 Speaker 2: on with me and tell me why I never got it. 380 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,639 Speaker 2: I never got it, and I may be atypical, I fully, 381 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:16,880 Speaker 2: I'm just being open with you, folks. So Bernard will 382 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:20,199 Speaker 2: explain why when we come back one to eight Praguer 383 00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:38,600 Speaker 2: seven seven six, Hi, everybody, Dennis Prager. Here, the subject 384 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:42,639 Speaker 2: is jealousy, and it is a good thing in moderation. 385 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:47,600 Speaker 2: It is a bad thing when irrational and obsessive and 386 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:51,160 Speaker 2: and and destructive, et cetera. You have to know when 387 00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:53,679 Speaker 2: again the mind believe it or not. Even here, the 388 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:59,200 Speaker 2: mind has to ultimately be in control. But the absence, 389 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:03,840 Speaker 2: the complete absence of jealousy is not good either. And 390 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,040 Speaker 2: I'm going to return to Bernard in a moment, but 391 00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:09,359 Speaker 2: I just want to remind you, based on the on 392 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:15,600 Speaker 2: the marriage improving advice I gave that the woman Susan 393 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:19,880 Speaker 2: earlier had spoken about, we have a compilation of thirty 394 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:24,520 Speaker 2: thirty of my best male female hours on CD I 395 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:29,920 Speaker 2: assume also downloadable and you can call eight hundred two 396 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,840 Speaker 2: two five eight five eight four eight hundred two two 397 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:39,199 Speaker 2: five eight five eight four. It's about I think it 398 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:44,959 Speaker 2: could be extraordinary help and fun and interest to anybody 399 00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:48,680 Speaker 2: married or not eight hundred two two five eight five 400 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:52,760 Speaker 2: eight four, or go to Dennis Prager dot com. Now, 401 00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,960 Speaker 2: Bernard raises an issue here that I have heard my 402 00:26:56,040 --> 00:27:02,760 Speaker 2: whole life and I have not personally related to and that. 403 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,160 Speaker 2: But that doesn't mean I may be the freak here. 404 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:09,680 Speaker 2: I'm just being open. I'm not being argumentative or even 405 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:13,639 Speaker 2: taking issue with. Bernard says that in this age where 406 00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:19,359 Speaker 2: premarital relations are so common, that has that has increase 407 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:24,919 Speaker 2: the amount of jealousy between husbands and wives because so 408 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:29,919 Speaker 2: many husbands and wives had sexual partners prior to the 409 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:31,000 Speaker 2: person that they married. 410 00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:37,040 Speaker 7: Correct, yes, yes, yes, okay the reason even among themselves. 411 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:40,320 Speaker 7: It undermines trust if they've only had each other as 412 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,720 Speaker 7: partners even prior to my marriage, because. 413 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,160 Speaker 2: If you did it with me, then you probably did 414 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:46,040 Speaker 2: it with somebody else. 415 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:50,000 Speaker 7: Well no, no, it just shows that you don't have 416 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:55,040 Speaker 7: the character and self discipline. Now, what I would argue 417 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,960 Speaker 7: is that if humanity is designed in the image of God. 418 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:05,720 Speaker 7: Each of God's character traits and his nature is most 419 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:10,320 Speaker 7: accurately understood within the context and limits of all the others. 420 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:17,760 Speaker 7: And so if fidelity is both pre and post marriage, 421 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,560 Speaker 7: it is undermine the totality of character. 422 00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:27,000 Speaker 2: What does fidelity pre marriage mean? How can what fidelity 423 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:28,160 Speaker 2: outside of marriage? 424 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:29,360 Speaker 4: Faithful? 425 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:34,600 Speaker 7: Pre marriage is like abstaining from sexual activity. 426 00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:36,919 Speaker 2: Well, that's not fidelity. That's chastity. 427 00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:42,280 Speaker 7: Chastity that is being faithful to hope with a character trait. 428 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:45,560 Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, you're mixing the word. That's why we 429 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:48,959 Speaker 2: have to be precise here. That's just not accurate. Fidelity 430 00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,960 Speaker 2: is to somebody. Can't be faithful to a trait? I 431 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:56,520 Speaker 2: mean you can, but it makes no sense. If somebody 432 00:28:56,600 --> 00:29:00,120 Speaker 2: is watches his money, is he faithful? He's a very 433 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:02,720 Speaker 2: faithful man. What is he faithful to his bank account? 434 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:09,040 Speaker 2: I come on, This is when religion doesn't look sophisticated. 435 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,800 Speaker 2: I believe deeply that we're created in God's image. I 436 00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:14,720 Speaker 2: also I also have a different understanding of the concept. 437 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,479 Speaker 2: Like God, we know good and evil. That that's how 438 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:21,800 Speaker 2: I understand. The animals are not created in God's image. 439 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,480 Speaker 2: They don't know good and evil. We have moral choice. 440 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,520 Speaker 2: Animals don't anyway, That's how I understand it. But but 441 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,040 Speaker 2: putting that away. Faithful is to somebody, or you could 442 00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,160 Speaker 2: be faithful to God if you will, but we're talking 443 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:38,360 Speaker 2: with humans. Fidelity means faithful to a person. Okay. I 444 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:41,719 Speaker 2: think Bernard's first issue is an illegit one. A lot 445 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:45,440 Speaker 2: of people feel jealousy visa viv the lover or lovers 446 00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:49,880 Speaker 2: that somebody had prior to marriage. My view is that 447 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,360 Speaker 2: if they really love you, and you know that, I 448 00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:55,000 Speaker 2: don't see any reason and I do believe that reason 449 00:29:55,160 --> 00:30:00,440 Speaker 2: and and and and the mind must play the dominant 450 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:13,440 Speaker 2: role here. And I I I'm debating on this, you know, 451 00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:17,760 Speaker 2: how transparent here and what to say? I look, my 452 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,680 Speaker 2: view is in we we'll talk about this. And I've said 453 00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:23,200 Speaker 2: this many times and I've told my kids this. I 454 00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:28,840 Speaker 2: believe that people should be should have some sexual relations 455 00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,920 Speaker 2: prior to marriage, but not intercourse. I believe that the 456 00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:35,880 Speaker 2: line should stop at intercourse. That's the ideal, all right, 457 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:41,360 Speaker 2: That's that's that's what I that's what I believe, because 458 00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:44,479 Speaker 2: when there is no sexual contact, you have no idea 459 00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:49,360 Speaker 2: what your chemistry is and it may be a disaster 460 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:53,440 Speaker 2: once you're married, and I am more interested in preventing 461 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:57,840 Speaker 2: divorce than I am in preventing any sexual contact prior 462 00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:04,960 Speaker 2: to marriage. That's but intercourse I hold has a a 463 00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:08,440 Speaker 2: sacred status, if you will, and so that there are 464 00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:12,800 Speaker 2: many ways of knowing whether you can sexually relate without 465 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:17,480 Speaker 2: that specific act. So that's my position. Having said that, 466 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:20,560 Speaker 2: I've never been of the school of you have to 467 00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:26,720 Speaker 2: be a virgin. I don't never you know, the preoccupation 468 00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:32,000 Speaker 2: with virginity strikes me is literally primitive. Others will have 469 00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:39,080 Speaker 2: different views. But to be jealous of the people who 470 00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:42,720 Speaker 2: were intimate with my wife or my husband before we 471 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:48,400 Speaker 2: ever met and he chose me, I would think the opposite. 472 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:50,080 Speaker 2: I would think that you would say, look, he's had 473 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,080 Speaker 2: all these other women, or she's had all these other 474 00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:58,000 Speaker 2: men and she chose me. She's not married to those men, right, 475 00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:01,080 Speaker 2: she married me. He's not married to those women. He 476 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:04,880 Speaker 2: married me. Now, if the guy walks around or in 477 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:09,840 Speaker 2: the middle of the night he's mumbling, you know, Erica, Erica, 478 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:16,440 Speaker 2: and your name is Jennifer, okay, that's an issue. But 479 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:19,640 Speaker 2: unless it's prompted by something as obvious that it's a 480 00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:22,920 Speaker 2: non issue. You know, you know, this is to me 481 00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:27,400 Speaker 2: one of those examples of gratuitous misery. There's enough to 482 00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:35,080 Speaker 2: be miserable about in real life without concocting ghosts to 483 00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:39,200 Speaker 2: be jealous of. All right, I'll take more of your 484 00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:41,920 Speaker 2: calls when we come back again. The number four the 485 00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:45,320 Speaker 2: thirty male female hours is eight hundred two two five 486 00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:48,920 Speaker 2: eighty five eighty four. Back in a moment on Dennis Preigner. 487 00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,719 Speaker 1: This episode of timeless Wisdom. We'll continue right after this. 488 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:04,760 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom. 489 00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:14,080 Speaker 2: You Sigma, I say hello? Why are you? 490 00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:19,480 Speaker 3: Sagamar say hello? 491 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,720 Speaker 2: I say hello too, Dennis Prager. Here. By the way, 492 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:30,800 Speaker 2: the number I gave out is just for the CDs 493 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,960 Speaker 2: and that are available not to get on the show. 494 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,000 Speaker 2: Eight hundred and two to two five eight five eight 495 00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:40,840 Speaker 2: four is for what I mentioned earlier in any other CDs. 496 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:44,080 Speaker 2: All right, just you should know not to speak to 497 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:49,080 Speaker 2: me and not to speak on the air. Okay, all right, 498 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,680 Speaker 2: let me go to more calls. Jealousy is the subject. 499 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:56,920 Speaker 2: This is clearly a very very significant issue. And let's 500 00:33:56,920 --> 00:34:01,080 Speaker 2: go to Mark in Glendora, California. Hi, Mark, Dennis Prager. 501 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:06,600 Speaker 6: Dennis Good, My question, or is what's your explanation for 502 00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:09,559 Speaker 6: when a woman or a man are jealous of their 503 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:13,799 Speaker 6: partner's best friend who is the same sex, and they're 504 00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:16,440 Speaker 6: not threatened by sexual orientation or whether they're going to 505 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:19,320 Speaker 6: have sex with each other or that? 506 00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:22,399 Speaker 2: All right? Is that because are you the friend or 507 00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:23,200 Speaker 2: are you the husband? 508 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:27,880 Speaker 6: It's not. I don't have a case. I'm not in 509 00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:28,680 Speaker 6: the relationship. 510 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:31,640 Speaker 2: Oh oh, but you've seen this happen. Is that why 511 00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:32,200 Speaker 2: you're asking? 512 00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:35,920 Speaker 6: Yeah, I've seen in some of my previous relationships for 513 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:36,279 Speaker 6: some of them. 514 00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:38,600 Speaker 2: Okay, all right, so here very simply, there's not a 515 00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:40,880 Speaker 2: lot of time. So let me just very quickly say this. 516 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:45,640 Speaker 2: There are times where there can be there can be 517 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:51,880 Speaker 2: some legitimacy to such jealousy. If vastly great greater amounts 518 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:56,040 Speaker 2: of time are spent with the friend. If if you're 519 00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:58,400 Speaker 2: home and you're in bed with your wife and you 520 00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:01,200 Speaker 2: call up your friend for a half hour in bed, 521 00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:05,200 Speaker 2: and you do that regularly, I could see where the 522 00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:09,000 Speaker 2: wife would have a reason for jealousy. Most of the 523 00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,799 Speaker 2: time that I have encountered this, it is it has 524 00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:16,480 Speaker 2: not been triggered, but or rather as a perhaps an 525 00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:20,240 Speaker 2: irrational part of a desire to own own the husband 526 00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:22,920 Speaker 2: or the wife. I think it's a magnificent thing. If 527 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:26,799 Speaker 2: my wife has girlfriends, I love them. I love that 528 00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,440 Speaker 2: she likes them. But yes, I could imagine that if 529 00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:32,640 Speaker 2: if truly I felt the time for me were in 530 00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:35,480 Speaker 2: great amounts taken away, Yes I would. I would have 531 00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:37,680 Speaker 2: a jealous reaction, not of them, but of the time. 532 00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:41,279 Speaker 2: And I could see that a a woman. But what 533 00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:44,279 Speaker 2: you do is you embrace the friend and then bring 534 00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:49,280 Speaker 2: them into into your joint life. Jane in Henderson, Texas, 535 00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:51,960 Speaker 2: you have a few seconds. You say, your husband goes 536 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,840 Speaker 2: one step further than just looking at women. What is 537 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:55,480 Speaker 2: that step? 538 00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,640 Speaker 7: If he sees someone that he thinks is attractive, he 539 00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:05,520 Speaker 7: instead of walking around him, he'll bump into him or 540 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:07,480 Speaker 7: they have to turn and look at him. 541 00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:13,480 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, all right, Yeah I need to talk to him, Jane, 542 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,640 Speaker 2: I really do that. I agree. I just wanted to 543 00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:18,279 Speaker 2: know what example you could give. I would love you 544 00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:23,200 Speaker 2: to call in on Friday, when people can call in 545 00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:25,200 Speaker 2: on anything. I'd love to talk to you about this. 546 00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:28,239 Speaker 2: This has been the male Female Hour. I certainly hope 547 00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:34,320 Speaker 2: it's helped. This is the Dennis Prager Show, Don't Go Away. 548 00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:42,640 Speaker 1: This has been timeless wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit Dennisprager 549 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:46,200 Speaker 1: dot com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, 550 00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:50,240 Speaker 1: and classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational 551 00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:50,880 Speaker 1: Bibles