1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,760 Speaker 2: Welcome to the Love Offering Podcast. I'm your host, Rachel Adams, 3 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:11,520 Speaker 2: author of Everyday Prayers for Love, Learning to Love God, others, 4 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 2: and even yourself. Each week we dive into meaningful conversations 5 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 2: about how to live out the greatest commandment, loving God 6 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,119 Speaker 2: with all of our heart's soul, mind and strength, and 7 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 2: loving our neighbors as ourselves, whether through inspiring stories, practical wisdom, 8 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,680 Speaker 2: or biblical truth. My hope is to encourage you to 9 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 2: love boldly, live faithfully, and reflect God's love in your 10 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:32,879 Speaker 2: everyday life. Today, I'm honored to welcome Vivian Cummins to 11 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:36,360 Speaker 2: the show. Vivian is the author of Breakdown Better fifty two, 12 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:40,560 Speaker 2: restoring devotionals for burned out women, and its companion guided journal, 13 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,880 Speaker 2: A Better Way The Breakdown, a Better guided journ. Through 14 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:48,040 Speaker 2: her own journey of severe burnout and breakdown, Vivian discovered 15 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:51,239 Speaker 2: the deep restoration that comes when we stop striving and 16 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:53,199 Speaker 2: begin living a balanced. 17 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 3: God first life. 18 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:57,600 Speaker 2: She's also the host of the Juggling Life Finding Balance podcast, 19 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:00,600 Speaker 2: where she creates space for honest grace Field comes for 20 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:04,640 Speaker 2: women who are overwhelmed, exhausted, and quietly burning out. 21 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:05,480 Speaker 4: Well. 22 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:08,640 Speaker 2: Hello, Vivian and welcome to the Love Offering Podcast. 23 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:09,640 Speaker 3: I'm so happy to have you. 24 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:12,199 Speaker 4: Hey, Rachel, it's so good to see you again. 25 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,560 Speaker 2: Yes, I got to be a guest on your podcast, 26 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:18,440 Speaker 2: which is where we first met, and so I'm thankful 27 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 2: that we get to swap this time and I get 28 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 2: to hear more of your story. 29 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 4: I know, it's so surreal. It's like a full circle moment. 30 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 4: And I think our podcast was like a year and 31 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 4: a half ago, so it's been a minute. 32 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 2: Yes, time flies and a lot has happened. And so 33 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,480 Speaker 2: since we've talked, you've got this new book. But before 34 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,920 Speaker 2: we get into that, typically we write on what we 35 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:42,920 Speaker 2: are struggling with, and so I imagine maybe you found 36 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 2: yourself in this place of like, man, I'm exhausted, I'm 37 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,960 Speaker 2: feeling burnt out, so I need some help in this area. 38 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 2: So tell us kind of the backstory to this message. 39 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, ironically enough, I never set out to write either 40 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:58,559 Speaker 4: of these books. I felt a call on my life 41 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 4: in twenty eighteen to write, but it was actually my 42 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:04,320 Speaker 4: husband's story that I started off writing, and so I 43 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 4: hired a writing coach and we got like three hundred 44 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:10,840 Speaker 4: pages into that and then During this whole time, though, 45 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:15,400 Speaker 4: I was really suffering from burnout and on my way 46 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,960 Speaker 4: to a breakdown. And it's something that I've struggled with 47 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 4: my entire life, But as I was hit my mid 48 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 4: to late forties, the over working and striving stuff really 49 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,120 Speaker 4: started to affect my health and well being. And so 50 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:31,560 Speaker 4: it was during that time frame that I actually had 51 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:35,240 Speaker 4: a mental breakdown, and it was pretty severe. 52 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 1: I was at home. 53 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:39,639 Speaker 4: I was working from home at the time and was 54 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 4: just feeling the weight, and I just collapsed in my 55 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 4: living room and just begged God to take me home. 56 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 4: I was so exhausted and tired of the selfishness and striving. 57 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:55,240 Speaker 4: I was tired of myself, my personality because I knew 58 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 4: that I was the one inflicting all of this on myself. 59 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:01,079 Speaker 4: I knew enough to know this was all me, and 60 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:03,680 Speaker 4: I had no idea how to stop it, and so 61 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 4: because of that, I just wanted God to take me 62 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,680 Speaker 4: home because I just didn't want to be alive anymore. 63 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 4: But it was in that moment that God kind of 64 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 4: whispered to me. It's so weird, I explained it as 65 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:17,320 Speaker 4: I felt his whisper, and it was him just saying, 66 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:21,080 Speaker 4: hold on I'm going to restore you. And it was 67 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 4: in that moment I was like, Okay, well, you're promising 68 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 4: to restore me, so whatever you got to do to me, 69 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 4: in me, through me, I'm all in. And so I 70 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:34,640 Speaker 4: basically just surrendered and rededicated my life at that moment 71 00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 4: and put my full trust in him that he would 72 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 4: fix all the crazy that was in me that was 73 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:41,440 Speaker 4: causing me to strive so hard. So it was at 74 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,280 Speaker 4: that moment then that I entered a wilderness season. And 75 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 4: that's a whole other topic that we might get to today. 76 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:49,720 Speaker 4: So through all of that, I was still trying to 77 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:53,640 Speaker 4: write my husband's story and I hit a roadblock. I 78 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 4: just could not form a sentence anymore in that book. 79 00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,400 Speaker 4: And then my husband told me one day, he says, 80 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,880 Speaker 4: have you ever thought that maybe God was always wanting 81 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,440 Speaker 4: you to write your story and not mine? And I'm 82 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 4: just like okay, And so I started going back. I 83 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 4: started journaling during that timeframe too, and so I started 84 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 4: going back through all of my journals and pulling out 85 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 4: things that I had written, and it was like, Okay, God, 86 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:19,359 Speaker 4: this is what you're wanting me to share. It's so 87 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:23,239 Speaker 4: vulnerable and personal. When I was writing my husband's story. 88 00:04:23,279 --> 00:04:25,840 Speaker 4: I could pick out things right and like, oh, we're 89 00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:27,840 Speaker 4: not going to talk about that, but let's talk about this. 90 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:29,400 Speaker 4: This is funny and cool and people will love it. 91 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,360 Speaker 4: But in my story, I didn't want to talk about 92 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 4: any of it because it was just so incredibly personal 93 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,080 Speaker 4: and I didn't farewell in so many of the stories. 94 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,039 Speaker 4: But I chose to obey. I'd said to God, I 95 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,840 Speaker 4: was all in and if this was part of it, 96 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,520 Speaker 4: then I would continue. And so that's kind of how 97 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 4: I started writing. And again it started off like a book. 98 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 4: And then you and I when we met and we 99 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,040 Speaker 4: were going through your fifty two devotions for your book, 100 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:56,159 Speaker 4: that's when it really hit me that, you know what, 101 00:04:56,480 --> 00:05:00,160 Speaker 4: women who are struggling with burnout and break down, they're busy. 102 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:03,360 Speaker 4: That's part of the reason why they are struggling. They 103 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:07,120 Speaker 4: don't have time to read a five hundred page novel 104 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:11,839 Speaker 4: about burnout and breakdown. They want short nuggets that they 105 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:14,200 Speaker 4: can open up their book, open up the Bible in 106 00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:17,159 Speaker 4: the morning before they start their day and get a 107 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 4: word from God. And so that's kind of why I 108 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 4: was like, Okay, this is going to be a devotional 109 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:23,880 Speaker 4: and it's not even going to be a three sixty five. 110 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,279 Speaker 4: It's going to be fifty two days. Because Nei a Maya, 111 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:29,359 Speaker 4: with the help of God and people that he placed 112 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,480 Speaker 4: in his path in favor, he was able to rebuild 113 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,599 Speaker 4: the city in fifty two days. And I thought, Okay, 114 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 4: when we partner with God and we use these resources, 115 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,480 Speaker 4: then God can restore us in fifty two days as well. 116 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:45,240 Speaker 4: And so that's the backstory. 117 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,799 Speaker 2: I can't wait to hear the rest of the story. 118 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,600 Speaker 2: But we're going to take a brief break to hear 119 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,360 Speaker 2: a word from today's sponsor, and when we come back, 120 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,719 Speaker 2: we'll talk about why high achieving women are especially vulnerable 121 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,800 Speaker 2: to burnout and what God may be doing. In the 122 00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:03,880 Speaker 2: Breakdown Welcome back, I'm talking with Vivian Cummins about her 123 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:08,279 Speaker 2: Breakdown Better book fifty two Restoring Devotions for Burnout Women, 124 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,479 Speaker 2: and it's a companion journal. So, Vivian, you speak directly 125 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 2: to women who are juggling faith, family, leadership, and calling, 126 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:18,360 Speaker 2: which is all of us, all women, everybody. So why 127 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 2: do you think that so many capable, high achieving women 128 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 2: are especially at risk for orn out? 129 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,719 Speaker 4: In my opinion and in the conversations that I've had 130 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,839 Speaker 4: with women. I think we're all high achievers. We are 131 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 4: all juggling. We have so many plates in the air 132 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:35,800 Speaker 4: that we're juggling, and so regardless of whether you are 133 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:39,840 Speaker 4: career oriented and you actually physically go to a company 134 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:43,480 Speaker 4: every day, we are all very high achieving. We are 135 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 4: trying to be everything to everyone, whether it's to our employer, 136 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:52,240 Speaker 4: to our church, to our small groups, to our children, 137 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:54,839 Speaker 4: to our husband. And as women, I feel like we 138 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 4: are constantly trying to be super woman. And I'm only 139 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:01,440 Speaker 4: speaking for myself, but we've had these conversations in many 140 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:05,120 Speaker 4: of my small groups. As women, sometimes we have the 141 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 4: tendency to not want to show weakness. We don't like 142 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:12,680 Speaker 4: to show that any type of emotional you know that 143 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 4: we can't handle something, and so we just continue to 144 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,920 Speaker 4: take on more and more and more and we don't 145 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,800 Speaker 4: have a release. And so I have a couple of 146 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,000 Speaker 4: my friends right now they have school age children, and 147 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 4: that's one of the things that she's been telling me, 148 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 4: is the competition of being a woman in the workplace 149 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 4: and being a mom is just off the chain. I mean, 150 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 4: you're almost shamed for working right and not staying home 151 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:41,360 Speaker 4: and all the things, and so there's just so much 152 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:45,480 Speaker 4: competition in society and just kind of that stigma that 153 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 4: you need to hold it all together. Women are always 154 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:52,200 Speaker 4: thought of as being great multitaskers, and we are, but 155 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 4: what's the cost? Right? And for me that was something 156 00:07:56,240 --> 00:08:01,440 Speaker 4: that yeah, I could multitask my buns off, but inside 157 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:04,840 Speaker 4: I was breaking down. My body was shutting down, my 158 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:08,800 Speaker 4: mental capacity was shutting down, and even my spiritual relationship 159 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:11,560 Speaker 4: with God at the time was shutting down. So but yeah, 160 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 4: I think we're all high achieving, that's my bottom line. 161 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I agree, I think there's For me, it's 162 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:23,440 Speaker 2: a struggle of perfectionism too, and wanting to control and 163 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:27,640 Speaker 2: just this maybe people pleasing and even God pleasing. If 164 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 2: I'm being honest, I want to just be all things 165 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,760 Speaker 2: to everyone at all times. But the reality is is 166 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 2: we're limited. We're human, you know, and we don't like 167 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 2: to even admit that, right. 168 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, the perfectionist part it was huge for me, and 169 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:44,800 Speaker 4: it's still a stronghold that I have to be very 170 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 4: well aware of. And that's what I talk a lot 171 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:51,320 Speaker 4: in my books too, is recognizing the nucleus of why 172 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 4: we suffer burnout and break down in the first place, 173 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:58,280 Speaker 4: and these books are designed to partner with God to 174 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:02,679 Speaker 4: do a really like a dive into understanding ourselves so 175 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 4: that we can figure out why do we suffer this 176 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:06,960 Speaker 4: in the first place? For me, it was it was 177 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:11,680 Speaker 4: perfectionism and control comes with that because when you're a perfectionist, 178 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 4: you have to have everything a certain way, and how 179 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 4: best to do that then control the outcome yourself. 180 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 2: Oh gosh, I'm like nodding the whole time because I 181 00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:25,240 Speaker 2: feel like I'm so much like you in so many ways. 182 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 3: Mark, Yes, Okay. 183 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,920 Speaker 2: So one of the themes is turning burnout into breakthrough. 184 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:33,680 Speaker 2: So how can what feels like failure or collapse actually 185 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:36,680 Speaker 2: become the beginning of healing and deeper intimacy with God, 186 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 2: Which sounds like exactly what happened to you? 187 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. I mean, you know, we look at burnout 188 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,880 Speaker 4: and like, oh, that's bad. We look at breakdown. Oh 189 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:48,840 Speaker 4: that's bad. But it, yes, that in and of itself 190 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:49,840 Speaker 4: is bad, but what. 191 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,959 Speaker 1: You do with it can be good. 192 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:55,240 Speaker 4: And that God allowed that to happen to me because 193 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,440 Speaker 4: that was the only way that He could get my 194 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:02,000 Speaker 4: attention and help heal me. And so going through that 195 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:05,080 Speaker 4: breakdown I mean, I look back now, I'm able to 196 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 4: see where God was moving in all of that and 197 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:12,760 Speaker 4: showing me, Okay, Vivian, you know, I gave you your temperament, 198 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:17,000 Speaker 4: I gave you your personality, and you know he gave 199 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 4: me my emotions and all of those are good, but 200 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,880 Speaker 4: we live in a fallen world and so sometimes they 201 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,320 Speaker 4: can kind of go into the negative or the extreme. 202 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:30,360 Speaker 4: And so it was just such an educational experience for 203 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:33,960 Speaker 4: me to really learn about myself and learn who God 204 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,439 Speaker 4: made me. And so you know, I call the book 205 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:41,120 Speaker 4: fifty two Restoring Devotionals, because to restore something means to 206 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 4: bring it back to its original intent or design. And 207 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:48,360 Speaker 4: it was never God's intent for his daughters to run 208 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:52,400 Speaker 4: around crazy, stressed out, striving, doing all the things. That's 209 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 4: not what He asked us to do. And so just 210 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:59,480 Speaker 4: taking a step back and listening to God and what 211 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,840 Speaker 4: he had to tell you in each of these devotionals 212 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 4: and then just kind of marinating in that a little bit, 213 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,960 Speaker 4: and how can you move forward and how can you 214 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:11,559 Speaker 4: heal from what you've learned about yourself? 215 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:15,280 Speaker 2: So I imagine one of those keys is surrender, especially 216 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:18,079 Speaker 2: letting go of like you talked about the control and perfectionism. 217 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:20,800 Speaker 2: So why do you think surrender is often the hardest 218 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 2: step for women who are used to just holding everything together. 219 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,400 Speaker 4: Because of what you just said, We're used to holding 220 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:30,320 Speaker 4: it all together. You know, we don't know any better often, right, 221 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:34,800 Speaker 4: That's perhaps how we survived growing up. I can say 222 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,400 Speaker 4: for me, I came from a family that was very 223 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:42,680 Speaker 4: Christian loving family, but there was some perfectionism in my family, 224 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,360 Speaker 4: and so that was how I grew up. It's what 225 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:49,280 Speaker 4: I knew, and so it's very difficult to just turn 226 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:52,880 Speaker 4: that off. And so to surrender meant I had to 227 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,840 Speaker 4: give up everything that I ever knew about myself and 228 00:11:55,920 --> 00:12:00,440 Speaker 4: about my circumstances and to just surrender them to God. 229 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 4: And boy, I tell you what he put me through 230 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 4: some test on control. I mean there was I couldn't 231 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 4: control anything. I would try to schedule something or do something, 232 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:13,600 Speaker 4: my flights would get canceled. I mean everything idea just 233 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,880 Speaker 4: backfired on me. And it was just God's way of saying, 234 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:18,640 Speaker 4: You're not in control here, and I'm like, I know, 235 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:24,280 Speaker 4: and it's killing me. If you are wanting full restoration 236 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,960 Speaker 4: and you want healing, you have to be willing to surrender. 237 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:30,680 Speaker 4: And in my second book, A Better Way, which is 238 00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:33,440 Speaker 4: the guide to journal, right before you start that, there's 239 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 4: a page that's called my Commitment to a Better Way, 240 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,920 Speaker 4: and it talks about I'm committed to surrendering, my to 241 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,880 Speaker 4: do lists, my family, I mean, all these things. And 242 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,360 Speaker 4: I've told women that I've been working with who are 243 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 4: using these resources. I said, don't sign that until you're ready, 244 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:56,280 Speaker 4: And I mean, you have to be fully surrendered and 245 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,680 Speaker 4: fully in before you sign that. Because once I went 246 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,560 Speaker 4: full on with God, like I said, I entered a 247 00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:05,559 Speaker 4: wilderness season. You will be tested, you will have trials. 248 00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:08,760 Speaker 4: That's how we get better and stronger is under pressure. 249 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:14,360 Speaker 4: And so I did not sign mine right away, even 250 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:17,320 Speaker 4: after I had surrendered after my breakdown. But when I 251 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:20,559 Speaker 4: was going through this resources with these ladies, I'm like, oh, 252 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,680 Speaker 4: I need to take a second. Am I ready for 253 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 4: this round two of going deeper with God? Well? 254 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:31,160 Speaker 2: And I think the key to surrender is trust. We've 255 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,720 Speaker 2: got a trust who we're surrendering to. And we've got 256 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 2: to believe that God loves us and he's a good 257 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:38,839 Speaker 2: father and he's going to shepherd us and take care 258 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:39,640 Speaker 2: of us, and that he. 259 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 3: Is sovereign, and his way is better. 260 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,600 Speaker 2: His will and way and his desires are better than 261 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:46,400 Speaker 2: our will and our ways and our desires. And so 262 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:51,600 Speaker 2: you also emphasize living a balanced God first life. I 263 00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:53,480 Speaker 2: noticed you said that in the beginning, like let's start 264 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,079 Speaker 2: our day this way. So what does that truly mean? 265 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:59,079 Speaker 2: Not just practically, you. 266 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:02,120 Speaker 4: Know, I do talk a lot about getting up and 267 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,800 Speaker 4: reading your Bible first and getting in prayer first before 268 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,160 Speaker 4: you start your day, asking Him to help you prioritize 269 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:11,040 Speaker 4: the day. And I have had some pushback on that 270 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:13,520 Speaker 4: from ladies that have said, yeah, I would love to 271 00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:16,319 Speaker 4: do that, but you know, once the alarm goes off, 272 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:19,800 Speaker 4: everything gets, you know crazy. Putting God first isn't just 273 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,040 Speaker 4: necessarily getting up and getting into your Bible. It is 274 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:26,040 Speaker 4: reaching out to Him on every aspect of your life, 275 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,880 Speaker 4: you know, asking him, Hey, God, what do you think 276 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,880 Speaker 4: about this? I'm looking to do this, Like right now, 277 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:35,360 Speaker 4: I've got some things that I'm hoping to launch, but 278 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:37,880 Speaker 4: I'm not going to launch it until I have full 279 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,520 Speaker 4: confidence that this is God led, you know, And so 280 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 4: just asking Him to touch every area of your life, 281 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,600 Speaker 4: from raising your kids to your priorities for your day, 282 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:51,560 Speaker 4: to your sex, life with your spouse, all of those things, 283 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:55,520 Speaker 4: putting him first and helping him lead you so that 284 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:58,480 Speaker 4: you make the right decisions on things big and small. 285 00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 4: It's not just the big decision, it's the small day 286 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 4: to day as well. 287 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree with you. It's a mindset. What is 288 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,960 Speaker 2: what are your first thoughts in the morning, and so 289 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,400 Speaker 2: could it be as simple as being a prayer to 290 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:13,800 Speaker 2: the Lord Lord, thank you for another day, Help lead 291 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:16,000 Speaker 2: and God and direct me throughout this day, and that's 292 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:18,520 Speaker 2: the way you begin your day. And so it's almost 293 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:21,440 Speaker 2: like a heart posture or yeah, even just a mindset. 294 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:22,560 Speaker 3: And I would even. 295 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:25,000 Speaker 4: Encourage people, you know, if you don't have time to 296 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,480 Speaker 4: get up into your studies, maybe you're a nighttime person, 297 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:28,200 Speaker 4: that's when you do it. 298 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,400 Speaker 1: That's that's perfect. 299 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,960 Speaker 4: But I would encourage people that before you even pick 300 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,200 Speaker 4: up your phone and check your social media, give God 301 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,920 Speaker 4: that minute first, you know. And that's it's very simple. 302 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:39,360 Speaker 4: But like you said, it's a mindset and it becomes 303 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:39,800 Speaker 4: a habit. 304 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:42,800 Speaker 2: We're going to take another quick break to thank our sponsor, 305 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,000 Speaker 2: and when we come back, we'll talk about holy rest, 306 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,480 Speaker 2: warning signs of burnout and living whole. 307 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:50,160 Speaker 3: Welcome back. 308 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:53,680 Speaker 2: I'm talking with Vivian Cummins about her book, A Breakdown Better. 309 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,680 Speaker 2: In it, you teach about recognizing the warning signs of burnout. 310 00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,760 Speaker 2: What are some subtle indicators women often ignore until they 311 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 2: reached the breaking point? 312 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:06,560 Speaker 4: My gosh, yeah, I asked the women in my prayer 313 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,880 Speaker 4: group this couple of weeks ago. Well, I asked them 314 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:11,680 Speaker 4: what does burnout mean to them? And then what they 315 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,880 Speaker 4: did was they gave me a whole laundry list of 316 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:18,240 Speaker 4: symptoms of burnout. And it starts off just so simple. 317 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:21,280 Speaker 4: With For me, this is so crazy. My eyes would twitch. 318 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:25,440 Speaker 4: My eyes would twitch, and then I would have things 319 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:30,240 Speaker 4: like just upset nervous stomach, some digestive issues. My blood 320 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,080 Speaker 4: pressure started going up and I had to be put 321 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:35,440 Speaker 4: on blood pressure medicine. Then I started getting heart palpitations. Oh, 322 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,120 Speaker 4: and then came the anxiety attacks. I mean, it just 323 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:41,880 Speaker 4: things built up over time. My eyelashes fell out and 324 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 4: my eyebrows fell out. I mean things like that that 325 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,800 Speaker 4: you kind of just say, oh, you know, well, I 326 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,400 Speaker 4: guess I need to get a different mascara or something. No, 327 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:52,400 Speaker 4: that's signs of stress. And our body is trying to 328 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:55,200 Speaker 4: tell us these things. But we just chalk it off 329 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:58,000 Speaker 4: as something else. Brain fog was another one where I 330 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:01,240 Speaker 4: could not I can't, couldn't think of words, Like I 331 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 4: would look at something and I would know that was 332 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,959 Speaker 4: an apple, but I was like, what is that. One 333 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,359 Speaker 4: of the things that was also really weird for me 334 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:13,320 Speaker 4: was I would lay down my reader glasses everywhere. I 335 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,560 Speaker 4: would search the house for my glasses and they would 336 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,919 Speaker 4: be in the refrigerator or they would be in the pantry. 337 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,800 Speaker 4: And so my husband's like, Babe, should you go see 338 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,640 Speaker 4: a doctor. You got some demension. I'm like, I don't 339 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,000 Speaker 4: think it's dimension. It was stress. And so we have 340 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:31,280 Speaker 4: these warning signs that we either ignore or laugh off 341 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,960 Speaker 4: or we you know, attribute them to something else. But 342 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:37,720 Speaker 4: really those are things that are leading to the severe 343 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,560 Speaker 4: burnout and eventually the breakdown. And so just taking a 344 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,679 Speaker 4: minute and taking an inventory of what is your body 345 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:48,520 Speaker 4: telling you and then stopping and saying, okay, God, is 346 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,680 Speaker 4: this a sign? Are you trying to tell me something? 347 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,239 Speaker 4: And then again start working with him on how to 348 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:55,480 Speaker 4: be healed well. 349 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,760 Speaker 3: And I think for me, I'm like, well, maybe it's perimenopause. 350 00:17:57,880 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 3: And maybe it is. Maybe it is menopause. 351 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,639 Speaker 2: I don't know all the things, but we overlook it 352 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,680 Speaker 2: and we just brush past it and continue to push through, 353 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,119 Speaker 2: which leads me to my next question. I think we 354 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,600 Speaker 2: often feel guilty to rest, which I don't know why 355 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,080 Speaker 2: that is, But you talk about holy rest and the 356 00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 2: idea that self care is not selfish. So for the 357 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,280 Speaker 2: woman who feels guilty for resting, how would you gently 358 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:20,679 Speaker 2: remind her that it's okay? 359 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:25,320 Speaker 4: Oh, my God, the Lord gave us great examples. I mean, 360 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:30,120 Speaker 4: God himself, when he created everything, rested on the seventh day, 361 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,600 Speaker 4: not because he was tired, but to be an example 362 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:33,880 Speaker 4: to us. 363 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,120 Speaker 1: And who are we? 364 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:36,840 Speaker 4: I mean, that's kind of how I'm looking at. 365 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,159 Speaker 1: Who am I? 366 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:42,480 Speaker 4: When our heavenly Father, the creator of everything, took time 367 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,520 Speaker 4: to rest and I think I don't have time to 368 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:48,640 Speaker 4: do that. I mean yeah. And then Jesus himself. How 369 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,359 Speaker 4: many times in scripture does it talk about Jesus going 370 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:54,200 Speaker 4: away from the crowds and taking some time to himself 371 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,600 Speaker 4: to get in prayer and to rest. And so we 372 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,199 Speaker 4: have God, the Father and the sum both giving us 373 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 4: that example for us to do that, and they really 374 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,080 Speaker 4: did well. Jesus got tired because he was human on earth, 375 00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:08,720 Speaker 4: but just taking that minute to recharge. And you don't 376 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,520 Speaker 4: have to go to a day spa. I mean, if 377 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:14,359 Speaker 4: you can, that's fantastic, but just taking some time in 378 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:17,919 Speaker 4: a day to set aside for you. I have some 379 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,919 Speaker 4: of my lady friends that says the only time they 380 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,359 Speaker 4: can do it is when they're in the bathroom, and 381 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,480 Speaker 4: I'm like, well, there you go. Some of them go 382 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,520 Speaker 4: in their cars and like they'll go drive around for 383 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,920 Speaker 4: thirty minutes, or they'll go before they have to pick 384 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,280 Speaker 4: up their kids. They'll go and they'll drive around and 385 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,840 Speaker 4: do what you have to do to get it in. 386 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,280 Speaker 4: Just a little bit of time to yourself, and don't 387 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 4: feel bad about it, because you're no good for anybody 388 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:42,320 Speaker 4: else if you're overwhelmed and you're at the point of burnout, 389 00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:45,600 Speaker 4: because you're likely going to be very stressed, very crabby, 390 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,080 Speaker 4: and unfriendly to be around and stuff. So take that 391 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,280 Speaker 4: minute for yourself so that you can be. 392 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:52,479 Speaker 1: There for others. 393 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:57,280 Speaker 2: And you're talking about biblical examples. I remember Elisha, he 394 00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:00,280 Speaker 2: had just come off of a major mountain talk moment 395 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:03,840 Speaker 2: and was basically reached that burnout stage. 396 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:05,560 Speaker 3: I can't do this anymore, Lord take. 397 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:09,400 Speaker 2: My life, and God said, I need you to sit 398 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,760 Speaker 2: by this tree under the shade. I want you to 399 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,320 Speaker 2: take a nap, and I want you to eat, and 400 00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:15,920 Speaker 2: then everything was better. And so I think that's a 401 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,639 Speaker 2: beautiful example that ties directly to what you even just 402 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,000 Speaker 2: shared about your own experience. 403 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,680 Speaker 4: Absolutely, I think he ate some bread and drank some water, 404 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:25,880 Speaker 4: took two naps. I'm like a man. That sounds fantastic, 405 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,520 Speaker 4: Yes it does, but it is deeper than that. 406 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,360 Speaker 2: You know, you're not just going to sleep and eat 407 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,600 Speaker 2: and like, oh everything's okay again, But it's a start. 408 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:34,920 Speaker 3: It can be a start. 409 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,239 Speaker 2: And another thing that you mentioned is having fun. That 410 00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:41,040 Speaker 2: fun is actually a spiritual practice, and so I think 411 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:44,359 Speaker 2: that feels maybe both freeing and a little surprising. So 412 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:47,560 Speaker 2: how can joy and recreation actually strengthen our faith? 413 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,359 Speaker 4: I was not having fun, I'm telling you. When I 414 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 4: look back on my life up until you know, this 415 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:58,040 Speaker 4: restoration period, I realized that I wasn't enjoying my life. 416 00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,920 Speaker 4: I wasn't enjoying the people got placed in my life. 417 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,000 Speaker 4: Because when you're dealing with burnout and perfectionism and all 418 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,720 Speaker 4: the things, you just keep working. And so your poor 419 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,879 Speaker 4: little family's over here growing up and leaving the house 420 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:14,040 Speaker 4: without you even spending time with them. And so God 421 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,840 Speaker 4: wants us to enjoy our life. I mean, Jeremiah twenty 422 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,639 Speaker 4: nine eleven says he has great plans for us, plans 423 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:22,160 Speaker 4: to prosper us, to enjoy our life, you know. And 424 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:25,119 Speaker 4: so I was like, okay, God, show me how to 425 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,480 Speaker 4: have fun. And so just little things like I tell 426 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,239 Speaker 4: a story in the devotional about watching my two year 427 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:36,479 Speaker 4: old grandson just be mesmerized at bumblebees and we were 428 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,520 Speaker 4: at a lavender farm and he was just mesmerized and 429 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,240 Speaker 4: watching it, and I thought, that is so beautiful. That's 430 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:48,360 Speaker 4: taking time to enjoy God's creation and just admire bumblebees 431 00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:50,800 Speaker 4: and how they they go from flower to flower and 432 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,600 Speaker 4: things like that. And so God just started really opening 433 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,560 Speaker 4: up to me that there's so much around you that 434 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:59,600 Speaker 4: I've created for you to enjoy. So I'm not saying 435 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,399 Speaker 4: we have to go out and recreate every day or whatever, 436 00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:07,680 Speaker 4: but enjoying everything that He's given us. That was the purpose, right, 437 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,240 Speaker 4: He gave it to us for a reason. And so yeah, 438 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,160 Speaker 4: so I talk about that, and then I also talk 439 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,240 Speaker 4: about even when you don't feel like it, And there's 440 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,119 Speaker 4: a story in there that I talk about. My husband 441 00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:18,480 Speaker 4: and I we have date days and date nights. And 442 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,880 Speaker 4: we had planned on going somewhere for a Sunday afternoon, 443 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,640 Speaker 4: and I didn't want to go, and I was crabby 444 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,720 Speaker 4: because we were going to have fun. That's just ridiculous. 445 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,520 Speaker 4: But I did it anyways, and it was the best day. 446 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,320 Speaker 4: We reconnected. We walked hand in hand and looked at 447 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,040 Speaker 4: art and had dinner and all the things, and I thought, 448 00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,040 Speaker 4: oh my god, this is what my heart and soul 449 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:41,560 Speaker 4: needed and we needed to reconnect. So you may not 450 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,399 Speaker 4: feel like doing it, but do it anyway. 451 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,840 Speaker 2: But those are really good recommendations and good advice. And 452 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:50,159 Speaker 2: so for women in leadership, whether at work or in 453 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:54,040 Speaker 2: ministry or at home, how can we lead faithfully without 454 00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:57,880 Speaker 2: losing ourselves? Because I think as women's so often we 455 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,320 Speaker 2: do things for everyone else. And I think that there's 456 00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:05,199 Speaker 2: even maybe the misconception, even biblically, like lay down your 457 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:08,159 Speaker 2: life for others and value others and love your neighbor 458 00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,639 Speaker 2: and be sacrificial and be selfless. But sometimes it can 459 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,480 Speaker 2: be like almost too much? 460 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:12,840 Speaker 4: Is that? 461 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,480 Speaker 3: And I don't know, are you in agreement with that? 462 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:15,800 Speaker 4: Yeah? 463 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,680 Speaker 1: I am. I think we have to be careful. 464 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,840 Speaker 4: My husband and I have a saying about don't bring 465 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,520 Speaker 4: everybody home to bed with you. I know that sounds 466 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:24,440 Speaker 4: kind of crazy. 467 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 1: I get it. 468 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:25,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I don't know what you mean. 469 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:27,439 Speaker 4: But how many people do you have in bed with 470 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:29,800 Speaker 4: you at night? And I would bring my whole team 471 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:32,920 Speaker 4: to bed with us, and because I would bring all 472 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:36,560 Speaker 4: of their issues and struggles, and you know, my teams 473 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:39,560 Speaker 4: that I've had throughout my career, we were very close 474 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,400 Speaker 4: and I knew about their families, so I knew about 475 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,679 Speaker 4: a lot of stuff and I carried that with me, 476 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,399 Speaker 4: and I kind of almost crossed a line, I think 477 00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:54,479 Speaker 4: in that of being a caring, nurturing human with being 478 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,880 Speaker 4: a leader, because that part of me wanted to help 479 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:01,160 Speaker 4: them and fix everything that they were going through, both 480 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,119 Speaker 4: at home and at work. And I think we have 481 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:05,359 Speaker 4: to be really careful because then that just adds to 482 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,320 Speaker 4: our stress. And so I think there needs to be 483 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:11,760 Speaker 4: that fine line, especially as women, we do have that caring, 484 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:16,720 Speaker 4: nurturing spirit, but drawing that line at leadership, you know. 485 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:18,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, well, and we're not God. 486 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,640 Speaker 2: I think so often we want to fix everything for everyone, 487 00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:23,840 Speaker 2: and that does come up from a beautiful place, but 488 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,760 Speaker 2: we also have to realize again he is limitless and 489 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,960 Speaker 2: He is all powerful and we aren't. And so that 490 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,560 Speaker 2: goes back to again surrender. I'm going to do what 491 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:38,479 Speaker 2: I can do and then allow God to do the rest. Right. Yes, 492 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,679 Speaker 2: So okay. So for the woman listening, which is probably 493 00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,960 Speaker 2: all of us who feel exhausted right now and she 494 00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:48,280 Speaker 2: just doesn't know where to begin, what's the first step 495 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,320 Speaker 2: that you would encourage her to take today? 496 00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:55,520 Speaker 4: I think the first step I would say is just stop, 497 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:59,600 Speaker 4: take a minute and just seek God's face, you know, 498 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,000 Speaker 4: waiting for you. He's been waiting for you. He wants 499 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:04,920 Speaker 4: you to reach out to him. He wants to hear 500 00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,000 Speaker 4: your lament. That's the thing I learned to do during 501 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,119 Speaker 4: this season of my life is I learned to lament. 502 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:14,320 Speaker 4: I learned to just pour out everything that I'm feeling 503 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:19,400 Speaker 4: to God because he can handle it, whether it's frustration, anger, sadness, whatever. 504 00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:22,159 Speaker 1: It is, and then be committed. 505 00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:25,280 Speaker 4: Being committed to to Okay, God, whatever needs to happen 506 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:27,520 Speaker 4: in me. I'm willing to do that because I want 507 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:29,439 Speaker 4: to draw closer to You. I want to be healed 508 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:35,520 Speaker 4: from this striving perfectionist tendencies and seeking Seeking God first 509 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:38,560 Speaker 4: to me is pretty much. I mean that could be 510 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,240 Speaker 4: a mic drop moment there. Just seek God first, because 511 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,679 Speaker 4: he's going to show you. He's going to reveal to you. 512 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,520 Speaker 4: And the thing is is that with me, he revealed 513 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:49,280 Speaker 4: things in my personality that needed changing. But he was 514 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,640 Speaker 4: so kind and how he did that and so gentle 515 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,640 Speaker 4: and didn't overwhelm me with your bad you're bad, you're bad. 516 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,160 Speaker 4: He was just like, Okay, this is why you are 517 00:25:58,200 --> 00:25:59,880 Speaker 4: the way you are. Let me let me help guide 518 00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:02,280 Speaker 4: you there, and let me show you things that we 519 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:05,240 Speaker 4: can do together to heal that part of your soul. 520 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,760 Speaker 4: And so I guess my response would be see God 521 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:12,000 Speaker 4: first and then He'll show you the next steps. 522 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:14,480 Speaker 2: You know, we kind of talked about this, but just 523 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,919 Speaker 2: circling back, I think the root for me, often with 524 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,680 Speaker 2: me striving and trying burning myself out in so many ways, 525 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:25,880 Speaker 2: is trying to prove my value and earn love from people. 526 00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:26,879 Speaker 3: And even from the Lord. 527 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,439 Speaker 2: And so I think we've got to get back to 528 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,600 Speaker 2: the root of why we are doing what we're doing 529 00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,680 Speaker 2: and the choices that we're making. And I also want 530 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,240 Speaker 2: to be clear and make sure I'm understanding you correctly. 531 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:42,320 Speaker 2: That you're not telling us to not do anything exact. 532 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:45,840 Speaker 2: We're not just going to stop all activity and stop 533 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,440 Speaker 2: all relationships. Like the reality is these things and these 534 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:51,720 Speaker 2: responsibilities and these roles you have, they're still going to 535 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:53,840 Speaker 2: go on. We're just doing it and handling it in 536 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:54,760 Speaker 2: a different way. 537 00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:56,359 Speaker 1: Right absolutely. 538 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,200 Speaker 4: I mean yeah, And I'll tell you, I mean, even 539 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:03,160 Speaker 4: as you're going through a season where you are partnering 540 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,439 Speaker 4: with God and he's helping you through all of this, 541 00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:07,119 Speaker 4: it's like you said, you still got to get up 542 00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:08,359 Speaker 4: and go to work, you still got to take care 543 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:11,480 Speaker 4: of your family and do all the things. But you're 544 00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:14,880 Speaker 4: starting to see things in a different way. You're starting 545 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:18,919 Speaker 4: to recognize I'm going into an extreme here. I'm overworking, 546 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,760 Speaker 4: I'm spending too much time with my kids, and I'm 547 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:25,280 Speaker 4: not giving my husband any attention whatsoever. So you're starting 548 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:28,320 Speaker 4: to recognize those things in yourself, and then you can 549 00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:32,160 Speaker 4: take a step back, recalibrate, and there's always tomorrow. And 550 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:37,000 Speaker 4: so I'm constantly in a state of recalibrating every day 551 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,479 Speaker 4: because this side of heaven, I'm not going to have 552 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:42,880 Speaker 4: perfected this, and so it's just again letting God show 553 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:47,600 Speaker 4: you those areas work towards getting restored, and then don't 554 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,639 Speaker 4: be so hard on yourself, give yourself grace. You will Stummer. 555 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,600 Speaker 4: That's why it's called breakdown Better because it's not a 556 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,679 Speaker 4: book about, hey, do all this and you're never going 557 00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:59,240 Speaker 4: to suffer this again. It's showing you how you can 558 00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:03,400 Speaker 4: learn about yourself and God and do it better next time. 559 00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:06,960 Speaker 2: I'm just reminded that this life, this faith, the journey 560 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,840 Speaker 2: and we're on it is a marathon. 561 00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:09,800 Speaker 3: It's not a sprint. 562 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:13,240 Speaker 2: And so just making sure that our pace is sustainable 563 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,320 Speaker 2: and that we are in step with the Holy Spirit. 564 00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:17,560 Speaker 3: And sometimes it does look like a. 565 00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:21,320 Speaker 2: Crawl, sometimes looks two steps back, sometimes it looks like sitting. 566 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:24,840 Speaker 2: But I think just to stay in step with him. 567 00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,239 Speaker 2: So okay, So this season I have been asking all 568 00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:31,399 Speaker 2: my guests, is there a biblical concept of love that 569 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:33,840 Speaker 2: you think applies to this topic today? 570 00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:35,320 Speaker 4: I do. 571 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:35,960 Speaker 1: I am. 572 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:38,200 Speaker 4: So I'm going to read a scripture if I could please. 573 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:41,920 Speaker 4: It's day one actually in the devotional a the Guided Journal, 574 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:45,240 Speaker 4: and day one is titled after a little While, and 575 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,320 Speaker 4: this comes from First Peter five ten, and it says, 576 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,520 Speaker 4: the God of all grace, who called you to his 577 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:54,160 Speaker 4: eternal glory in Christ. After you have suffered a little while, 578 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:58,200 Speaker 4: will him stealth restore you and make you strong, firm, 579 00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:02,280 Speaker 4: and steadfast. And that promise is so beautiful to me 580 00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,800 Speaker 4: and so personal to me because he used the word 581 00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:09,160 Speaker 4: restore when I suffered my mental breakdown. And what I 582 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:13,320 Speaker 4: love about this verse is it says will himself restore, 583 00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:17,440 Speaker 4: So he's not dedicating an angel or a prophet or 584 00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:18,320 Speaker 4: anything like that. 585 00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:19,480 Speaker 1: He wants to. 586 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:23,320 Speaker 4: Do it himself because he loves us so much. And 587 00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:28,200 Speaker 4: so that verse has just been my lifeline knowing that 588 00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:32,000 Speaker 4: He's going to take time to restore me personally. What 589 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:36,880 Speaker 4: a loving, heavenly father we have. That he cares about 590 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:40,040 Speaker 4: each and every one of us where we are and 591 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:42,680 Speaker 4: wants to be the one to help restore us and 592 00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:43,440 Speaker 4: bring us back. 593 00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:45,520 Speaker 3: It's such a beautiful truth. 594 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:48,959 Speaker 2: And I think it's so freeing too that if we 595 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:52,720 Speaker 2: have a breakdown, if we're feeling burnout and exhausted, he 596 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,080 Speaker 2: is there with us. We don't have to do this 597 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:57,320 Speaker 2: on our own. And so I just think just knowing 598 00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:02,600 Speaker 2: we have help always to us is so freeing and 599 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,760 Speaker 2: empowering at the same time. And I'm so thankful for 600 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,320 Speaker 2: that so tell us something you are loving right now. 601 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 4: I am loving this new season of life. So I 602 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:18,320 Speaker 4: had the opportunity last September in twenty five to take 603 00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:22,520 Speaker 4: an early retirement from the federal government almost twenty seven years, 604 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,040 Speaker 4: and so I took it. I had felt that God 605 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,560 Speaker 4: was calling me out of the government for quite some time, 606 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:29,040 Speaker 4: but I just didn't know how it was going to happen. 607 00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:30,120 Speaker 3: So this is how it happened. 608 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:34,520 Speaker 4: And so now I've entered into this new season of 609 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:38,440 Speaker 4: retirement where I'm able to do more ministry type work. 610 00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:41,200 Speaker 4: I launched the two books, I'm working on some other things. 611 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,280 Speaker 4: I recently got certified in the Christian disc which is 612 00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:48,160 Speaker 4: a personality assessment, because I'm really interested in learning and 613 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:51,600 Speaker 4: helping others learn more about their personality types because I 614 00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:53,560 Speaker 4: think those are one of the number one things that 615 00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:56,400 Speaker 4: leads us to burn out to begin with. And so 616 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:59,880 Speaker 4: I'm just in this season of letting God download in 617 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,920 Speaker 4: me some new things and that's exciting to me. So 618 00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,520 Speaker 4: this is the first time in many years that I've 619 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:11,240 Speaker 4: really been excited about work. And this is holy work, 620 00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:14,840 Speaker 4: you know, and I'm just really excited about it and 621 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:18,080 Speaker 4: excited to learn. I've been learning about the social media 622 00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:21,200 Speaker 4: platform school. I'm going to be doing some things there 623 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,640 Speaker 4: and so I'm just loving this season right now that 624 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,280 Speaker 4: I'm in. As Christians, I don't think we are ever 625 00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:29,080 Speaker 4: retired from kingdom building, so I hate to use that 626 00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,720 Speaker 4: word retirement, but I'm in a new season of kingdom 627 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:33,959 Speaker 4: building and I am really enjoying it. 628 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,360 Speaker 2: So I know I want to stay in contact with you. 629 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,280 Speaker 2: I'm sure listeners are going twenty two, You're going to 630 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,760 Speaker 2: want to purchase your books, listen to your podcast, maybe 631 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:43,440 Speaker 2: take the assessment, and maybe on your website. So tell 632 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:45,320 Speaker 2: us all the things how we can stay in contact 633 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:45,560 Speaker 2: with you. 634 00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:49,560 Speaker 4: Yes, So the best way is Viviancummins dot com. That's 635 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,800 Speaker 4: my website that will link you over to my Facebook 636 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:57,080 Speaker 4: page and my Instagram, TikTok YouTube. I also have links 637 00:31:57,120 --> 00:32:00,440 Speaker 4: to where you can purchase both books there, and I 638 00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:02,600 Speaker 4: have a blog where I toodle around in that a 639 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:05,960 Speaker 4: little bit and people can come visit or they can 640 00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:08,240 Speaker 4: reach out to me. And I would love to pray 641 00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:11,080 Speaker 4: for people, hear their stories all the things, and then 642 00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:13,200 Speaker 4: I will be putting some stuff out there in the 643 00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:15,680 Speaker 4: future on how they can come with me and go 644 00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:17,760 Speaker 4: to school, so really excited about this. 645 00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:21,360 Speaker 2: Include all of that in the show notes. But would 646 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,479 Speaker 2: you pray for us as we close today? 647 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:26,880 Speaker 4: Thank you, yes, I'd love to. Gracious Heavenly Father, We 648 00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:31,080 Speaker 4: thank you for this opportunity to speak together as girlfriends, 649 00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:33,760 Speaker 4: but then also to just talk about you and what 650 00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,400 Speaker 4: you've done in my life. Father God, I want to 651 00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,400 Speaker 4: give you the glory and praise for these books. We 652 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:43,280 Speaker 4: thank you, Lord Jesus for the opportunity for us to 653 00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:46,480 Speaker 4: speak on them and to share with people. And I pray, 654 00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:49,800 Speaker 4: Lord Jesus that the right woman is listening today who 655 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:52,160 Speaker 4: needs this message. And I pray Lord Jesus that the 656 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,640 Speaker 4: words that are inside these books will speak. 657 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:55,080 Speaker 1: To her heart. 658 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,960 Speaker 4: Lord Jesus, I just ask for every person listening that 659 00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:01,400 Speaker 4: they are suffering from stress or out or even maybe 660 00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:03,200 Speaker 4: they're in the middle of a breakdown. I pray Lord 661 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:06,720 Speaker 4: Jesus that they will seek your face, Lord, that you 662 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:09,760 Speaker 4: are sitting there waiting for them to reach out and 663 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:12,520 Speaker 4: you are willing to help them through it. And Lord Jesus, 664 00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:16,239 Speaker 4: I pray that they give themselves grace reaching out and 665 00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:17,160 Speaker 4: getting help. 666 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:17,960 Speaker 1: And being restored. Lord. 667 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,520 Speaker 4: It's not a sign of weakness, it's an absolute strength, 668 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,560 Speaker 4: and so we just ask that you just watch over 669 00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,840 Speaker 4: those who are listening to this message. And we want 670 00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,760 Speaker 4: to thank you again for this opportunity. Leek I and 671 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:33,960 Speaker 4: direct our steps in Jesus' name. We pray Amen Amen. 672 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:36,480 Speaker 2: Well, thank you so much for being my guest and 673 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:40,000 Speaker 2: helping us to break down Better. I appreciate your time today. 674 00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:42,560 Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you so much for listening to the 675 00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:45,600 Speaker 2: Love Offering Podcast. I hope today's conversation reminded you that 676 00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:47,840 Speaker 2: even in the breakdown, God is near and He's able 677 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:51,040 Speaker 2: to restore what feels worn. Then, if you enjoyed this episode, 678 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:52,640 Speaker 2: please share it with a friend and leave of you. 679 00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:54,800 Speaker 2: It helps others find the show and spreads the message 680 00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:57,200 Speaker 2: of love even further. To connect with me, visit me 681 00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:59,840 Speaker 2: on my website at Rachelkadams dot com where you can 682 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,720 Speaker 2: unload the Love Offering Calendar, a free resource filled with 683 00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:05,640 Speaker 2: simple daily ways to love those around you. Be sure 684 00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:09,880 Speaker 2: to look for Vivian's book Breakdown Better fifty two, restoring 685 00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,840 Speaker 2: devotions for burned out women, and the Companion Journal, a 686 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:17,040 Speaker 2: Better Way the Breakdown Better Guided Journal especial thank you 687 00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:20,320 Speaker 2: to Life Audio for supporting this podcast and making it possible. 688 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,920 Speaker 2: To find more great podcast visit lifeaudio dot com. Until 689 00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:27,160 Speaker 2: next time, let's make our lives an offering of love.