1 00:00:20,196 --> 00:00:23,236 Speaker 1: Hi friend, I'm so glad you're here today. Let's learn 2 00:00:23,276 --> 00:00:26,916 Speaker 1: how to raise our kids to love God, respect authority, 3 00:00:27,196 --> 00:00:31,036 Speaker 1: and do what's right. Let's scroll less and live more. 4 00:00:31,356 --> 00:00:34,436 Speaker 1: I'm Arlene Pelicane and this is a happy home. 5 00:00:38,716 --> 00:00:38,876 Speaker 2: Well. 6 00:00:38,915 --> 00:00:41,316 Speaker 1: I am so happy to be with Holly Girth. She 7 00:00:41,556 --> 00:00:44,595 Speaker 1: is back. She is the Wall Street Journal best selling 8 00:00:44,635 --> 00:00:48,116 Speaker 1: author with over a half a million books in print. 9 00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:51,916 Speaker 1: She co founded the online community Encourage. She is a 10 00:00:51,915 --> 00:00:55,116 Speaker 1: life coach, a counselor my friend, and we're talking about 11 00:00:55,116 --> 00:00:59,396 Speaker 1: her new book, which is Beautiful Prayers for Peace of Mind, 12 00:00:59,676 --> 00:01:04,035 Speaker 1: Scripture and encouragement for days of anxiety, worry and stress. Holly, 13 00:01:04,075 --> 00:01:04,676 Speaker 1: welcome back. 14 00:01:05,116 --> 00:01:07,356 Speaker 3: Thank you. I'm always happy to be with you. 15 00:01:08,196 --> 00:01:12,676 Speaker 1: We are going to dive in fast. Okay, So you're 16 00:01:12,715 --> 00:01:17,316 Speaker 1: an author, right, you've successful. Surely you do not experience 17 00:01:17,516 --> 00:01:19,436 Speaker 1: anxiety and worry? 18 00:01:19,476 --> 00:01:22,276 Speaker 3: Oh yes, every day, it don't matter. 19 00:01:22,556 --> 00:01:25,356 Speaker 2: I feel like I can better manage it when Jesus, 20 00:01:25,396 --> 00:01:26,636 Speaker 2: But yes, absolutely. 21 00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:29,316 Speaker 1: That's where I want to start, is just kind of 22 00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:32,315 Speaker 1: give us a glimpse of what anxiety, what worry might 23 00:01:32,356 --> 00:01:35,075 Speaker 1: come into your mind, and then what through the years 24 00:01:35,116 --> 00:01:37,076 Speaker 1: have you learned to do to manage it. 25 00:01:37,636 --> 00:01:40,916 Speaker 2: Yeah. So Anxiety's just kind of always been part of 26 00:01:40,956 --> 00:01:43,756 Speaker 2: my story. Even as a kiddo in third grade, I 27 00:01:43,756 --> 00:01:46,316 Speaker 2: remember going to the nervous's office a lot to lay 28 00:01:46,316 --> 00:01:48,356 Speaker 2: down because I had a tummy ache, and they did 29 00:01:48,636 --> 00:01:51,876 Speaker 2: all kinds of tests and finally define it as stress, 30 00:01:51,996 --> 00:01:55,796 Speaker 2: which today it would be diagnosed as anxiety. And I 31 00:01:55,836 --> 00:01:59,316 Speaker 2: got that official diagnosis in my early twenties, and I 32 00:01:59,476 --> 00:02:03,036 Speaker 2: learned that it is part of the nervous system that 33 00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:05,916 Speaker 2: God gave me. I think the ways we are wired 34 00:02:06,036 --> 00:02:09,916 Speaker 2: are continuum. So in the center is my sensitive nervous system, 35 00:02:10,516 --> 00:02:13,116 Speaker 2: and on the strength side of that are things like 36 00:02:13,356 --> 00:02:18,636 Speaker 2: empathy and being observant and creativity and depth, and on 37 00:02:18,716 --> 00:02:23,236 Speaker 2: this struggle side is anxiety and worry in fear. So 38 00:02:23,436 --> 00:02:27,476 Speaker 2: it's about learning how to manage the wiring that we 39 00:02:27,675 --> 00:02:30,956 Speaker 2: have in ways that lead us into the strength side 40 00:02:30,956 --> 00:02:34,476 Speaker 2: of that continuum and not the struggle. Because I used 41 00:02:34,476 --> 00:02:37,916 Speaker 2: to pray like I take this completely away, and the 42 00:02:37,916 --> 00:02:40,756 Speaker 2: reality is that would mean taking away some of my 43 00:02:40,835 --> 00:02:44,796 Speaker 2: strengths to so I think for those of us who struggle, 44 00:02:44,796 --> 00:02:47,555 Speaker 2: and those of us especially who have kids who struggle, 45 00:02:48,036 --> 00:02:52,716 Speaker 2: like helping them see that this is actually part of 46 00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:55,156 Speaker 2: who you are we just need to learn how to 47 00:02:55,196 --> 00:02:58,156 Speaker 2: harness it. Kind of like a superpower even which sounds 48 00:02:58,196 --> 00:03:01,516 Speaker 2: a little crazy, but that perspective shift really helped me. 49 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:05,436 Speaker 1: Talk us through. Let's do like a little practice. So 50 00:03:05,555 --> 00:03:08,036 Speaker 1: let's say we now have a third grader. Let's say 51 00:03:08,036 --> 00:03:10,196 Speaker 1: we're the mom now right, and our third grader is 52 00:03:10,196 --> 00:03:14,076 Speaker 1: coming to us. What might that talk sound like to 53 00:03:14,316 --> 00:03:16,716 Speaker 1: let that girl. Let's make her a girl right now, 54 00:03:17,115 --> 00:03:19,316 Speaker 1: to make that girl feel like, hey, there's a strong 55 00:03:19,356 --> 00:03:21,715 Speaker 1: side of this, because she's gonna let you like, what, Mom, 56 00:03:21,876 --> 00:03:23,555 Speaker 1: You're crazy? 57 00:03:23,675 --> 00:03:24,756 Speaker 3: I have one of those. 58 00:03:24,876 --> 00:03:27,836 Speaker 2: My grand daughter is eight, so she's very close to 59 00:03:27,876 --> 00:03:30,835 Speaker 2: the age I was, and she has a big gymnastics 60 00:03:30,876 --> 00:03:33,956 Speaker 2: meet coming up on Saturday, her first one, and she 61 00:03:34,076 --> 00:03:35,396 Speaker 2: is struggling with anxiety. 62 00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:37,636 Speaker 3: So we were talking about this just the other night. 63 00:03:38,476 --> 00:03:40,436 Speaker 2: So I told her, you know what I learned, When 64 00:03:40,436 --> 00:03:44,036 Speaker 2: I'm anxious about something, it means I really care about it. 65 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:49,556 Speaker 2: So you really care about your gymnastics or this wouldn't 66 00:03:49,556 --> 00:03:53,636 Speaker 2: worry you, and it's okay to really care about things. 67 00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:56,956 Speaker 2: And then we talked about, Okay, you feel anxious, I 68 00:03:56,996 --> 00:04:01,396 Speaker 2: bet you also feel excited because that is actually the 69 00:04:01,516 --> 00:04:06,996 Speaker 2: same neurotransmitters anxiety and excitement. So often we try to 70 00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:09,315 Speaker 2: get our kids to calm down, to go from eight 71 00:04:09,396 --> 00:04:13,196 Speaker 2: to zero, but it's actually an easier move to go 72 00:04:13,316 --> 00:04:16,356 Speaker 2: from anxiety to excitement because they're the. 73 00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:20,676 Speaker 3: Same level of emotional intensity. So then we started talking 74 00:04:20,716 --> 00:04:22,516 Speaker 3: about how she was excited. 75 00:04:22,036 --> 00:04:24,395 Speaker 2: About it, to help her move out of that fear 76 00:04:24,476 --> 00:04:27,796 Speaker 2: space and into that anticipation and engagement space. 77 00:04:28,076 --> 00:04:29,916 Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's another strategy. 78 00:04:30,476 --> 00:04:32,556 Speaker 2: And then we just told her, you know what, we 79 00:04:32,596 --> 00:04:34,315 Speaker 2: are going to love you just the same no matter 80 00:04:34,356 --> 00:04:37,395 Speaker 2: how you do, and success is showing up and we're 81 00:04:37,396 --> 00:04:38,075 Speaker 2: getting keso. 82 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:41,436 Speaker 3: Afterward, we said, what's better than a gold medal? 83 00:04:41,876 --> 00:04:46,156 Speaker 2: Metal gold caso, that's right, which is like her favorite theme. 84 00:04:46,956 --> 00:04:51,796 Speaker 2: So I think normalizing using some tools, just letting them 85 00:04:51,836 --> 00:04:54,955 Speaker 2: know that the stacks are not high yet, it's going 86 00:04:54,956 --> 00:04:57,316 Speaker 2: to be okay. And then her mam is so good 87 00:04:57,356 --> 00:04:59,556 Speaker 2: about working with her to calm her body. You know, 88 00:04:59,636 --> 00:05:02,916 Speaker 2: take deep breasts, come be under your blanket, let me 89 00:05:02,956 --> 00:05:05,796 Speaker 2: give you a hug, like helping that little nervous system 90 00:05:06,116 --> 00:05:07,635 Speaker 2: just adjust too. 91 00:05:09,236 --> 00:05:12,356 Speaker 1: That's so helpful. I love that. Go for the keso okay. 92 00:05:12,076 --> 00:05:14,916 Speaker 3: People, Yeah, that is always calming. 93 00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,596 Speaker 1: And then it's so good to let them know, like 94 00:05:17,755 --> 00:05:20,716 Speaker 1: worst case scenario, so it's still going to be just fine. 95 00:05:20,956 --> 00:05:23,236 Speaker 1: We're still going to love you the exact same way, 96 00:05:23,315 --> 00:05:26,996 Speaker 1: and we'll learn from it. It'll be great. Taka, help us understand. 97 00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:29,356 Speaker 1: I love how you understand all these things about fight 98 00:05:29,436 --> 00:05:32,356 Speaker 1: or flight and the nervous system. Help us to understand 99 00:05:32,356 --> 00:05:34,956 Speaker 1: when we are in that state of like, oh my goodness, 100 00:05:34,956 --> 00:05:38,276 Speaker 1: I'm panicked, I'm going to fight. I'm going to fight. Like, 101 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:41,236 Speaker 1: what can we do to kind of recognize where we're 102 00:05:41,276 --> 00:05:43,636 Speaker 1: at and how might we calm ourselves down? 103 00:05:44,315 --> 00:05:46,996 Speaker 2: I think first pausing and just being aware of it, 104 00:05:47,076 --> 00:05:49,876 Speaker 2: saying Okay, something is happening in my body right now, 105 00:05:50,356 --> 00:05:53,156 Speaker 2: and saying thank you body for trying to keep me safe, 106 00:05:53,315 --> 00:05:55,036 Speaker 2: because that's exactly what it's doing. 107 00:05:55,436 --> 00:05:56,835 Speaker 3: Its job is to protect you. 108 00:05:57,556 --> 00:06:00,236 Speaker 2: In a scenario where suddenly, you know, a Mary comes 109 00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:01,195 Speaker 2: charging through the door. 110 00:06:01,396 --> 00:06:02,755 Speaker 3: That is super helpful. 111 00:06:03,156 --> 00:06:05,476 Speaker 2: It's just in our world that there it might be 112 00:06:05,516 --> 00:06:08,116 Speaker 2: a a so media post or a news headline or 113 00:06:08,156 --> 00:06:12,755 Speaker 2: a relative at the holiday you know table, so causing 114 00:06:12,796 --> 00:06:15,395 Speaker 2: and saying okay, this is my body trying to protect me. 115 00:06:16,436 --> 00:06:17,715 Speaker 3: Let me take a deep breath. 116 00:06:18,236 --> 00:06:21,036 Speaker 2: How do I want to respond to this instead of 117 00:06:21,156 --> 00:06:24,236 Speaker 2: just reacting. And that's where it might be helpful to 118 00:06:24,236 --> 00:06:26,716 Speaker 2: just say a little prayer of God. I'm scared right now, 119 00:06:26,796 --> 00:06:30,515 Speaker 2: I'm overwhelmed, I'm angry, this is what I feel like. 120 00:06:30,755 --> 00:06:34,156 Speaker 2: Just acknowledge the emotion instead of trying to dismiss it. 121 00:06:34,236 --> 00:06:37,515 Speaker 2: Because our emotions are great messengers, they're just not the 122 00:06:37,556 --> 00:06:41,516 Speaker 2: best pauses, so so pay to listen to them and say, 123 00:06:41,556 --> 00:06:45,075 Speaker 2: what is my emotion trying to tell me in this moment, 124 00:06:45,836 --> 00:06:48,676 Speaker 2: And then what do I want to do about that? 125 00:06:49,116 --> 00:06:51,276 Speaker 2: What's the next small step I want to take? And 126 00:06:51,315 --> 00:06:54,516 Speaker 2: sometimes the next small step is that deep breath or 127 00:06:54,636 --> 00:06:57,315 Speaker 2: texting a friend and saying I'm having a hard time, 128 00:06:57,916 --> 00:07:00,596 Speaker 2: or we're treating to a quiet space for a minute, 129 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,436 Speaker 2: or whatever it is in that moment that you want 130 00:07:04,476 --> 00:07:07,396 Speaker 2: to take just one small step to help your body 131 00:07:07,516 --> 00:07:10,916 Speaker 2: get out of that heightened state so that you can 132 00:07:10,956 --> 00:07:14,476 Speaker 2: then make more decisions about what is really needed in 133 00:07:14,516 --> 00:07:15,316 Speaker 2: that situation. 134 00:07:16,116 --> 00:07:18,356 Speaker 1: And to realize, don't make the decision when you are 135 00:07:18,356 --> 00:07:21,356 Speaker 1: in that hyph in state, yes, to wait to get 136 00:07:21,396 --> 00:07:21,916 Speaker 1: out of that. 137 00:07:22,556 --> 00:07:24,876 Speaker 2: Yes, because a part of your brain that makes good 138 00:07:24,916 --> 00:07:30,116 Speaker 2: decisions has been hijacked by the survival circuitry. So there 139 00:07:30,196 --> 00:07:33,956 Speaker 2: is no long term helpful thinking usually happening when we're 140 00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:36,196 Speaker 2: a fire or flight. Our body is just saying we 141 00:07:36,236 --> 00:07:38,316 Speaker 2: could die. Let's do something about this now. 142 00:07:38,676 --> 00:07:39,556 Speaker 3: Yes, drastic. 143 00:07:40,276 --> 00:07:42,756 Speaker 1: So I really liked what you said earlier, and I 144 00:07:42,756 --> 00:07:44,716 Speaker 1: think it could be a new habit that we have 145 00:07:44,796 --> 00:07:47,916 Speaker 1: in our homes is to say to our kids, Hey, 146 00:07:47,956 --> 00:07:50,636 Speaker 1: your emotions they're a great What did you say. You 147 00:07:50,676 --> 00:07:55,716 Speaker 1: said they're not. They're terrible bosses. Yeah, they're good meat messengers, 148 00:07:56,036 --> 00:07:58,756 Speaker 1: but really bad bosses. So I think that's so good, 149 00:07:58,836 --> 00:08:00,796 Speaker 1: good message. What message is it giving us? But it 150 00:08:00,876 --> 00:08:04,836 Speaker 1: is not the boss. Now, we have some control over 151 00:08:05,396 --> 00:08:07,916 Speaker 1: what we're putting in our brain. You mentioned that, hey 152 00:08:07,956 --> 00:08:11,476 Speaker 1: it's not a bear, but it's an angering social media post. 153 00:08:11,516 --> 00:08:15,996 Speaker 1: It's an outrageous headline, it's a doomsday end of the 154 00:08:16,036 --> 00:08:17,236 Speaker 1: world article. 155 00:08:17,436 --> 00:08:17,676 Speaker 3: You know. 156 00:08:17,916 --> 00:08:21,876 Speaker 1: So, how have you been able to manage social media 157 00:08:21,916 --> 00:08:25,356 Speaker 1: and news and input to help with your anxiety, to 158 00:08:25,436 --> 00:08:27,676 Speaker 1: make it not so much? And then just kind of 159 00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,996 Speaker 1: help us understand what is that social media doing to 160 00:08:30,036 --> 00:08:30,636 Speaker 1: our brains? 161 00:08:31,116 --> 00:08:33,396 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's helpful for all of us to 162 00:08:33,476 --> 00:08:36,596 Speaker 2: pause and realize that all of that is now for profit. 163 00:08:37,636 --> 00:08:41,476 Speaker 2: And the currency is our attention, and what gets the 164 00:08:41,516 --> 00:08:44,035 Speaker 2: most attention is putting us into. 165 00:08:43,876 --> 00:08:45,836 Speaker 3: Fight or flight. 166 00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:49,196 Speaker 2: So there used to be legislature that said news had 167 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,716 Speaker 2: to be objective there and needed to be fair reporting. 168 00:08:51,916 --> 00:08:55,796 Speaker 2: That's not an existence anymore, and so now it really 169 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:59,876 Speaker 2: is what is going to trigger us. And I watched 170 00:08:59,916 --> 00:09:04,076 Speaker 2: a documentary about a particular news station and the. 171 00:09:04,196 --> 00:09:07,516 Speaker 3: CEO literally said, people pay attention. 172 00:09:07,276 --> 00:09:10,276 Speaker 2: When they're angry and afraid, So let's make sure they're 173 00:09:10,356 --> 00:09:11,196 Speaker 2: angry and afraid. 174 00:09:11,436 --> 00:09:14,436 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so said, right, Yes. 175 00:09:14,636 --> 00:09:17,636 Speaker 2: Sad reality we're living in, and so that means we 176 00:09:17,676 --> 00:09:19,916 Speaker 2: don't want to be uninformed, but we do want to 177 00:09:19,956 --> 00:09:23,036 Speaker 2: be intentional. And so for me, that looks like most 178 00:09:23,076 --> 00:09:25,556 Speaker 2: of the time I have notifications off of my phone 179 00:09:25,636 --> 00:09:28,116 Speaker 2: so I don't get just triggered out of nowhere, don't 180 00:09:28,116 --> 00:09:32,236 Speaker 2: get ambushed by social media or a news headline or 181 00:09:32,276 --> 00:09:33,396 Speaker 2: something unexpected. 182 00:09:33,796 --> 00:09:35,076 Speaker 3: And then I say, Okay, at this. 183 00:09:34,956 --> 00:09:37,156 Speaker 2: Particular time, I'm going to check in, I'm going to 184 00:09:37,236 --> 00:09:39,236 Speaker 2: see what I need to do, I'm going to engage, 185 00:09:39,316 --> 00:09:41,276 Speaker 2: and then I'm going to go back to my real life. 186 00:09:41,836 --> 00:09:45,036 Speaker 3: And so I think that looks different for everyone. 187 00:09:45,156 --> 00:09:47,476 Speaker 2: Some people can tolerate more of it. If you're not 188 00:09:48,076 --> 00:09:51,836 Speaker 2: wired toward anxiety, maybe it doesn't even bother you. But 189 00:09:52,036 --> 00:09:55,156 Speaker 2: just pausing to say okay with intention and care and 190 00:09:55,196 --> 00:09:57,476 Speaker 2: said prayer, what do I want this to look like 191 00:09:57,596 --> 00:10:01,476 Speaker 2: in my life? It's really recognizing that there are forces 192 00:10:01,516 --> 00:10:04,356 Speaker 2: out there basically who would love to control us, and 193 00:10:04,356 --> 00:10:07,676 Speaker 2: it's taking back that control and saying this can be 194 00:10:07,716 --> 00:10:08,756 Speaker 2: such a helpful thing. 195 00:10:08,996 --> 00:10:11,476 Speaker 3: It can we can use it to connect with each. 196 00:10:11,276 --> 00:10:13,476 Speaker 2: Other and to know what's going on in the world, 197 00:10:13,676 --> 00:10:15,156 Speaker 2: just again like our emotions. 198 00:10:16,076 --> 00:10:18,916 Speaker 3: Good Messenger, Bad Boss totally. 199 00:10:19,756 --> 00:10:22,756 Speaker 1: Oh, I love that. It's so true my phone, Good Messager, 200 00:10:23,076 --> 00:10:27,436 Speaker 1: Bad Boss, And it's why to become your boss, and 201 00:10:27,676 --> 00:10:30,316 Speaker 1: if you don't do something about it proactively, it will 202 00:10:30,356 --> 00:10:33,036 Speaker 1: become your boss. This is reminding me. If you go 203 00:10:33,076 --> 00:10:35,676 Speaker 1: to happy Home University dot com, you'll see a free 204 00:10:35,796 --> 00:10:38,836 Speaker 1: quiz it is my child getting too much screen time 205 00:10:38,916 --> 00:10:41,356 Speaker 1: because it's for kids too. So if you want to 206 00:10:41,396 --> 00:10:43,956 Speaker 1: take that quiz for your child to kind of see 207 00:10:43,996 --> 00:10:45,636 Speaker 1: like how are they? You can get that Happy Home 208 00:10:45,716 --> 00:10:47,636 Speaker 1: University dot Com. I'll put that in the show notes. 209 00:10:48,316 --> 00:10:51,156 Speaker 1: But I think the social media piece is such a 210 00:10:51,196 --> 00:10:54,076 Speaker 1: big thing for us to realize that having this in 211 00:10:54,116 --> 00:10:57,556 Speaker 1: our pockets is not helpful. I have found that like 212 00:10:57,596 --> 00:10:59,716 Speaker 1: my husband, for instance, he won't put it on his phone, 213 00:10:59,836 --> 00:11:03,316 Speaker 1: He'll just do it on his computer at his desk 214 00:11:03,676 --> 00:11:05,876 Speaker 1: so that he knows, Okay, I'm sitting in my office. 215 00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:07,356 Speaker 1: I'm here because he said, if I had it in 216 00:11:07,396 --> 00:11:09,156 Speaker 1: my pocket, I'd look at it all the time, like 217 00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:12,676 Speaker 1: you just be scrolling right. And so I think environmentally, 218 00:11:13,316 --> 00:11:15,796 Speaker 1: if we know that we are prone, which I think 219 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,876 Speaker 1: is kind of all of us to look at it 220 00:11:17,916 --> 00:11:20,516 Speaker 1: too much, or for it to spark anxiety in our life, 221 00:11:20,916 --> 00:11:23,636 Speaker 1: to make it as big as possible so that it's 222 00:11:23,676 --> 00:11:26,476 Speaker 1: not portable is a is a good tip. 223 00:11:26,916 --> 00:11:28,636 Speaker 3: That's a great strategy. You know. 224 00:11:28,716 --> 00:11:32,036 Speaker 1: One of the things about anxiety is we are I 225 00:11:32,156 --> 00:11:38,836 Speaker 1: was listening to this wonderful, just thoughtful writer. Her name 226 00:11:38,876 --> 00:11:41,516 Speaker 1: is Freya India, and she talks a lot about girls. 227 00:11:41,956 --> 00:11:44,996 Speaker 1: But this is what she said. When there's no right 228 00:11:45,196 --> 00:11:51,556 Speaker 1: and wrong, no limits, no boundaries, rapid change, nothing stable, 229 00:11:52,116 --> 00:11:56,916 Speaker 1: you get anxious. And so our kids and our world 230 00:11:56,996 --> 00:11:59,156 Speaker 1: is telling us. You know, everyone has their own truths. 231 00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:01,996 Speaker 1: There are no things you know, you can't trust people. 232 00:12:02,476 --> 00:12:05,836 Speaker 1: Everything is changing, even gender is fluid. Like all these 233 00:12:05,836 --> 00:12:10,556 Speaker 1: things is very uncertain and it's making people really anxious. 234 00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:12,116 Speaker 1: Can you talk a little bit about that. 235 00:12:12,796 --> 00:12:15,556 Speaker 2: Yeah, I do think we all need truth as an 236 00:12:15,556 --> 00:12:19,716 Speaker 2: anchor in our lives when everything else feels uncertain. 237 00:12:19,996 --> 00:12:22,236 Speaker 3: And that is very spuzzy right now. 238 00:12:22,356 --> 00:12:25,916 Speaker 2: I did hear something hopeful recently that I'll share, especially 239 00:12:25,956 --> 00:12:29,476 Speaker 2: for parents. I went to the U version Bible app 240 00:12:29,556 --> 00:12:36,316 Speaker 2: celebration and they reached one billion downloads, so that's one billion. 241 00:12:35,996 --> 00:12:38,276 Speaker 3: Devices in the world that have the Bible on them. 242 00:12:38,916 --> 00:12:42,676 Speaker 2: And they said that they had done research where eighty 243 00:12:42,716 --> 00:12:45,476 Speaker 2: percent of gen z is saying they're open to the 244 00:12:45,516 --> 00:12:50,796 Speaker 2: Bible because they don't know what's real or true, and 245 00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:55,036 Speaker 2: so they want something that is so they think, huh, the. 246 00:12:54,916 --> 00:12:56,596 Speaker 3: Bible's been around a long. 247 00:12:56,396 --> 00:13:01,316 Speaker 2: Time, not Ai, It's not something someone made up on TikTok. 248 00:13:01,956 --> 00:13:05,396 Speaker 2: I'm curious about what this is really all about. And 249 00:13:05,516 --> 00:13:09,076 Speaker 2: so in the midst of all the challenging. 250 00:13:08,596 --> 00:13:10,636 Speaker 3: Aspects of being alive. 251 00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:13,516 Speaker 2: Today, like, wow, that is a really hopeful thing that 252 00:13:13,636 --> 00:13:14,156 Speaker 2: is happening. 253 00:13:14,756 --> 00:13:16,035 Speaker 1: That is awesome. 254 00:13:16,436 --> 00:13:19,236 Speaker 2: Yeah, But I think even for ourselves as adul or 255 00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:23,676 Speaker 2: even with our kids, making a list of things like saying, 256 00:13:23,716 --> 00:13:27,316 Speaker 2: what do we know is true? No matter what God 257 00:13:27,396 --> 00:13:30,996 Speaker 2: loves us, we love you, We are going to be 258 00:13:31,116 --> 00:13:33,876 Speaker 2: here for you, you are going to be taking care of 259 00:13:34,636 --> 00:13:37,596 Speaker 2: like just going through and even making that part of 260 00:13:37,636 --> 00:13:40,596 Speaker 2: like a bedtime routine again for growing up in your 261 00:13:40,676 --> 00:13:43,796 Speaker 2: journal or for zero where you say, okay before you 262 00:13:43,836 --> 00:13:46,476 Speaker 2: go to sleep tonight, just talk again about what's true, 263 00:13:46,516 --> 00:13:50,676 Speaker 2: no matter what, and just anchoring them in that, I think, 264 00:13:50,836 --> 00:13:53,236 Speaker 2: especially anchering them in their belovedness. 265 00:13:53,596 --> 00:13:55,436 Speaker 3: Yeah, the truest thing about them is that. 266 00:13:55,476 --> 00:13:57,836 Speaker 2: They are beloved and nothing and no one can change 267 00:13:57,916 --> 00:14:01,436 Speaker 2: that because God is love and therefore we are beloved. 268 00:14:02,156 --> 00:14:05,516 Speaker 2: And that is a truth that I've been hanging on too, 269 00:14:05,756 --> 00:14:08,516 Speaker 2: probably more than any other. When I feel anxious, I 270 00:14:08,596 --> 00:14:11,316 Speaker 2: probably say the truest thing about me is I'm beloved. 271 00:14:11,556 --> 00:14:12,396 Speaker 3: God is loved. 272 00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:15,236 Speaker 2: Therefore I am beloved. Nothing and no one can take 273 00:14:15,276 --> 00:14:17,716 Speaker 2: that from me. And I can't even even saying it now. 274 00:14:17,716 --> 00:14:19,676 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh right, I feel this right. 275 00:14:20,916 --> 00:14:23,716 Speaker 1: It's like you're speaking God's truth and the Holy Spirit 276 00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,396 Speaker 1: is talking to you and it's true. And you could 277 00:14:25,436 --> 00:14:29,836 Speaker 1: say that over and over and over all day long. Yeah, 278 00:14:30,076 --> 00:14:32,916 Speaker 1: you'd write in the book in Prayers for Peace of 279 00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:37,716 Speaker 1: Mind about this beautiful alternative of God's shalom. Can you 280 00:14:37,756 --> 00:14:40,596 Speaker 1: explain just what does shalom mean? What does it look like? 281 00:14:40,676 --> 00:14:42,276 Speaker 1: How do we get it? How do we have more 282 00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:42,596 Speaker 1: of it? 283 00:14:43,156 --> 00:14:44,156 Speaker 3: Yeah, so when. 284 00:14:43,956 --> 00:14:47,236 Speaker 2: We see peace in scripture, the actual word is often shaloms. 285 00:14:47,276 --> 00:14:51,076 Speaker 2: Even Jeremiah twenty nine to eleven, the word for peace 286 00:14:51,236 --> 00:14:53,916 Speaker 2: is shalom, and it's so much deeper. We think of 287 00:14:53,996 --> 00:14:58,076 Speaker 2: peace is the absence of conflict, the absence of stress, 288 00:14:58,156 --> 00:15:01,796 Speaker 2: the absence of something. The shalom is really the deep 289 00:15:01,876 --> 00:15:09,756 Speaker 2: presence of someone, and it's complete well being mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, relational, 290 00:15:09,916 --> 00:15:13,356 Speaker 2: it's all of our relationships being put right with God, 291 00:15:13,476 --> 00:15:16,756 Speaker 2: our shelves in each other. And that's a paraphrase from 292 00:15:16,836 --> 00:15:17,476 Speaker 2: Tim Keller. 293 00:15:17,636 --> 00:15:19,716 Speaker 3: That beautiful that I love. 294 00:15:20,116 --> 00:15:23,436 Speaker 2: And so I love that the peace that we are 295 00:15:23,476 --> 00:15:28,716 Speaker 2: offered through God is so layered and so deep and 296 00:15:28,756 --> 00:15:33,436 Speaker 2: so complete that it's not just the absence of things, 297 00:15:33,476 --> 00:15:36,196 Speaker 2: but it is the presence of what we need even 298 00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:39,396 Speaker 2: in the hardest moments. And so I think that's something 299 00:15:39,436 --> 00:15:42,236 Speaker 2: we can ask for. I've started praying the blessing of 300 00:15:42,236 --> 00:15:46,516 Speaker 2: shalom over my family every day, like God just bless 301 00:15:46,556 --> 00:15:48,996 Speaker 2: them with shalom every air of their lives. 302 00:15:49,236 --> 00:15:50,676 Speaker 3: Put their relationships right. 303 00:15:51,396 --> 00:15:53,956 Speaker 2: And I think we can pray that over ourselves too 304 00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:56,916 Speaker 2: and our anxious like God lead me out of anxiety 305 00:15:57,076 --> 00:16:00,356 Speaker 2: and into shalom. And I think He loves to answer 306 00:16:00,396 --> 00:16:03,436 Speaker 2: that prayer because it's his heart for us. From Eden, 307 00:16:04,476 --> 00:16:07,916 Speaker 2: Shalom was there, you know, and he has done everything 308 00:16:07,996 --> 00:16:10,796 Speaker 2: possible to restore it. And then when we're home with 309 00:16:10,876 --> 00:16:13,836 Speaker 2: Him forever, we will be in shalom forever. Yeah, And 310 00:16:13,916 --> 00:16:15,836 Speaker 2: so I think when we ask for that, when we 311 00:16:15,876 --> 00:16:18,836 Speaker 2: seek it, we pursue it, when we pray it over 312 00:16:18,956 --> 00:16:22,316 Speaker 2: our people, that is always in alignment with the heart 313 00:16:22,396 --> 00:16:24,076 Speaker 2: of the God who loves us. 314 00:16:24,596 --> 00:16:27,716 Speaker 1: It's so beautiful and how God wants that wellness all 315 00:16:27,796 --> 00:16:32,236 Speaker 1: the way around is so so beautiful. I mentioned Freya 316 00:16:32,316 --> 00:16:34,756 Speaker 1: India earlier, and I had always thought she was a 317 00:16:34,796 --> 00:16:37,276 Speaker 1: secular writer, but then I heard her on an interview 318 00:16:37,316 --> 00:16:40,956 Speaker 1: and she said about all this change and everything being 319 00:16:40,996 --> 00:16:45,476 Speaker 1: so uncertain. She said that Christianity, to her answered the 320 00:16:45,556 --> 00:16:49,796 Speaker 1: unmet needs of the human heart the best. And it 321 00:16:49,916 --> 00:16:52,396 Speaker 1: really like you're saying about the gen z being more 322 00:16:52,476 --> 00:16:55,516 Speaker 1: open towards God, that we can be praying this way 323 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:59,156 Speaker 1: for our kids, our kids generation, that just so many 324 00:16:59,196 --> 00:17:01,596 Speaker 1: will turn to Jesus. During this time, we're going to 325 00:17:01,636 --> 00:17:03,556 Speaker 1: take a quick break to hear from our sponsor, and 326 00:17:03,596 --> 00:17:05,076 Speaker 1: on the other side of this, we're going to talk 327 00:17:05,116 --> 00:17:09,995 Speaker 1: about anxiety and introverts. Okay, so let's say you have 328 00:17:10,076 --> 00:17:14,036 Speaker 1: an introverted child, and let's pretend you're an extroverted parent 329 00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:15,716 Speaker 1: and you just want to talk this child to death. 330 00:17:15,876 --> 00:17:19,556 Speaker 1: You just, oh, this child, you can do. Let's get 331 00:17:19,596 --> 00:17:23,116 Speaker 1: you those people and dealt will help you not feel anxious. 332 00:17:23,995 --> 00:17:26,316 Speaker 1: If we have an introverted child, how can we help 333 00:17:26,316 --> 00:17:28,715 Speaker 1: them specifically with that in mind. 334 00:17:28,955 --> 00:17:33,436 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think first recognizing the link between overstimulation and anxiety. 335 00:17:34,116 --> 00:17:37,755 Speaker 2: So being an introvert is actually about just a preference 336 00:17:37,755 --> 00:17:42,156 Speaker 2: for environments where there's less external stimulation. It's not really 337 00:17:42,156 --> 00:17:46,555 Speaker 2: about people, except that people are very stimulating. So knowing, Okay, 338 00:17:46,596 --> 00:17:50,075 Speaker 2: if my kiddo gets to a point of this is 339 00:17:50,116 --> 00:17:53,275 Speaker 2: too much for me, they're going to have anxiety. And 340 00:17:53,396 --> 00:17:57,076 Speaker 2: introvert kiddos can get there a little faster because they 341 00:17:57,116 --> 00:18:00,316 Speaker 2: already have a lot going on inside. So if there's 342 00:18:00,436 --> 00:18:04,076 Speaker 2: also a lot going on outside, it can overwhelm them. 343 00:18:04,596 --> 00:18:06,876 Speaker 2: And what they need to be able to calm their 344 00:18:06,876 --> 00:18:11,075 Speaker 2: bodies again is solitude and quiet and the ability to 345 00:18:11,156 --> 00:18:11,956 Speaker 2: deeply focus. 346 00:18:12,116 --> 00:18:14,756 Speaker 3: Maybe they love to draw or. 347 00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:17,555 Speaker 2: Something like that where they just get completely absorbed in 348 00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:20,995 Speaker 2: it and shut out the outside world, and so honoring 349 00:18:21,076 --> 00:18:25,676 Speaker 2: that and saying this isn't them being antisocial or not. 350 00:18:25,636 --> 00:18:27,036 Speaker 3: Wanting to be around people. 351 00:18:27,755 --> 00:18:30,796 Speaker 2: This is them giving their little bodies what they need 352 00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:33,595 Speaker 2: so they can be fully present when they need to be, 353 00:18:33,636 --> 00:18:35,676 Speaker 2: when they need to go to school or church or 354 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:39,235 Speaker 2: show off at the family dinner table. This is about 355 00:18:39,275 --> 00:18:41,676 Speaker 2: allowing them to have what they need to be able 356 00:18:41,715 --> 00:18:45,275 Speaker 2: to be fully present in their lives. So I think 357 00:18:45,356 --> 00:18:49,075 Speaker 2: that is one thing just to recognize for introvert kids 358 00:18:49,475 --> 00:18:53,916 Speaker 2: and asking them even what does happiness feel like to you? 359 00:18:54,916 --> 00:18:58,035 Speaker 2: Because their research shows that for extroverts, because of the 360 00:18:58,076 --> 00:19:04,235 Speaker 2: neurotransmitters and wiring, happiness feels like enthusiasm and excitement, and 361 00:19:04,316 --> 00:19:05,955 Speaker 2: for introverts. 362 00:19:05,316 --> 00:19:07,796 Speaker 3: It feels more like calm and contentment. 363 00:19:08,596 --> 00:19:12,436 Speaker 2: So extrovert parents can look at their introvert kiddos who 364 00:19:12,475 --> 00:19:14,955 Speaker 2: are just hanging out, being quiet, doing their thing, and 365 00:19:15,076 --> 00:19:18,756 Speaker 2: worry about them when actually those kids are just doing 366 00:19:18,796 --> 00:19:22,396 Speaker 2: a great job of calming their bodies and helping themselves 367 00:19:22,515 --> 00:19:26,196 Speaker 2: feel better and giving their little nervous systems what they 368 00:19:26,235 --> 00:19:30,156 Speaker 2: need to engage in a pretty loud, overwhelming world. 369 00:19:30,556 --> 00:19:30,796 Speaker 4: Right. 370 00:19:32,596 --> 00:19:34,955 Speaker 1: Do you write in the book about the difference between 371 00:19:35,196 --> 00:19:37,676 Speaker 1: solitude and isolation? Let's go there. 372 00:19:38,156 --> 00:19:38,396 Speaker 3: Yeah. 373 00:19:38,515 --> 00:19:41,955 Speaker 2: So in Genesis, the first thing that God says is 374 00:19:41,995 --> 00:19:44,275 Speaker 2: not good. It's not good for man to be alone. 375 00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:46,315 Speaker 2: And I always thought, oh, I'm never supposed to be 376 00:19:46,356 --> 00:19:48,996 Speaker 2: by myself then, and that would make me feel bad 377 00:19:49,035 --> 00:19:51,755 Speaker 2: as an introvert because I need at that time. So 378 00:19:51,796 --> 00:19:54,636 Speaker 2: when I looked into their original language, it actually means 379 00:19:54,796 --> 00:19:59,715 Speaker 2: living in isolation from God, others, in yourself. So we 380 00:19:59,796 --> 00:20:01,676 Speaker 2: all know what it's like to be in a room 381 00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:07,155 Speaker 2: full of people and feel alone and feel alone and 382 00:20:07,196 --> 00:20:11,355 Speaker 2: still have a deep sense of connection to God and 383 00:20:11,396 --> 00:20:13,356 Speaker 2: the people we love and our true selves. 384 00:20:14,035 --> 00:20:16,795 Speaker 3: And so what we want to watch for in ourselves. 385 00:20:16,275 --> 00:20:20,196 Speaker 2: And our kiddos is not do we and time physically 386 00:20:20,235 --> 00:20:20,876 Speaker 2: alone or not? 387 00:20:21,275 --> 00:20:24,676 Speaker 3: It's are we living in isolation or connection? 388 00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:27,955 Speaker 2: And all of us need a rhythm of moving through 389 00:20:28,156 --> 00:20:32,796 Speaker 2: being social and having solitude, being social having solitude. Yeah, 390 00:20:32,836 --> 00:20:36,235 Speaker 2: and depending on where we land on the introvert extrovert continuum, 391 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:40,155 Speaker 2: the amounts of that very and that's okay, But just 392 00:20:40,235 --> 00:20:43,795 Speaker 2: looking for that and knowing that solitude is just as 393 00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:48,035 Speaker 2: helpful as the other side of socializing and connecting with people, 394 00:20:48,475 --> 00:20:52,996 Speaker 2: and that both can be good taxics to deal with anxiety. 395 00:20:53,196 --> 00:20:56,156 Speaker 2: Solitude can come us, so can being with our people, 396 00:20:56,596 --> 00:20:58,916 Speaker 2: and so we can use both of those when we're 397 00:20:58,995 --> 00:21:00,956 Speaker 2: anxious or worried or overwhelmed. 398 00:21:01,755 --> 00:21:04,516 Speaker 1: I would think that solitude, both for us as adults 399 00:21:04,556 --> 00:21:07,676 Speaker 1: and kids, with a phone in our hand does not 400 00:21:07,796 --> 00:21:10,955 Speaker 1: do the same as solitude without a phone in our hand. 401 00:21:11,556 --> 00:21:12,635 Speaker 3: That's very true. 402 00:21:12,715 --> 00:21:19,035 Speaker 2: I would say solitude is intentionally choosing quiet and in 403 00:21:19,156 --> 00:21:22,555 Speaker 2: word reflection and connection. So yes, that's a great point. 404 00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:25,116 Speaker 2: When we have our phone in our hands, we really 405 00:21:25,156 --> 00:21:26,275 Speaker 2: still have the whole world. 406 00:21:28,876 --> 00:21:31,795 Speaker 1: I'm still going into our bus, yes, you know. And 407 00:21:31,836 --> 00:21:33,916 Speaker 1: then I think about the kid that's like, oh, I 408 00:21:34,076 --> 00:21:36,436 Speaker 1: just need my quiet time mom or dad, But they 409 00:21:36,515 --> 00:21:39,955 Speaker 1: like are never come out of their room. They don't 410 00:21:39,955 --> 00:21:42,595 Speaker 1: come to dinner, right, that's not what we're talking about. 411 00:21:42,715 --> 00:21:45,475 Speaker 1: So so there is that difference of Hey, you just 412 00:21:45,515 --> 00:21:47,676 Speaker 1: need some time by yourself, but that doesn't mean now 413 00:21:47,676 --> 00:21:50,475 Speaker 1: you're completely isolated. And I think the technology it helps 414 00:21:50,515 --> 00:21:53,475 Speaker 1: us to do that because it's so easy to isolate yourself, 415 00:21:53,475 --> 00:21:55,116 Speaker 1: whether you're an introvert or extrovert. 416 00:21:56,076 --> 00:21:59,396 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, so that's where that rhythm. Okay, my kid 417 00:21:59,396 --> 00:22:02,076 Speaker 3: on needs time alone. Now they're back. Now they're alone. 418 00:22:02,196 --> 00:22:04,275 Speaker 3: Now they're back. As long as you're seeing that, then 419 00:22:04,356 --> 00:22:05,036 Speaker 3: that's healthy. 420 00:22:05,836 --> 00:22:08,716 Speaker 1: How do you do you have any thoughts of how 421 00:22:08,715 --> 00:22:11,475 Speaker 1: to coax your kid out of the room when they're like, no, yeah, 422 00:22:11,475 --> 00:22:13,835 Speaker 1: I just want to be here. I just I'm just 423 00:22:13,876 --> 00:22:15,076 Speaker 1: going to hang out here mom or dad. 424 00:22:15,116 --> 00:22:17,475 Speaker 3: Thanks. Yeah. 425 00:22:17,755 --> 00:22:22,836 Speaker 2: I think just getting curious about what they really need. 426 00:22:22,955 --> 00:22:25,796 Speaker 2: A question that I love is how can I love 427 00:22:25,876 --> 00:22:29,276 Speaker 2: you well right now? Yeah, because we tend to love 428 00:22:29,356 --> 00:22:31,875 Speaker 2: others in the ways that we want to be loved, 429 00:22:32,196 --> 00:22:37,436 Speaker 2: and often the people around us will answer that question in. 430 00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:39,116 Speaker 3: A very different way than we expect. 431 00:22:39,196 --> 00:22:42,916 Speaker 2: So maybe asking that, kiddo, what do you need right 432 00:22:42,955 --> 00:22:46,916 Speaker 2: now to help with your anxiety? Or what do you 433 00:22:47,116 --> 00:22:50,995 Speaker 2: need right now to feel calmer? What do you need 434 00:22:51,156 --> 00:22:53,556 Speaker 2: right now to feel supported in our family? 435 00:22:54,235 --> 00:22:57,075 Speaker 3: What do you need right now to recover from a 436 00:22:57,116 --> 00:22:57,676 Speaker 3: tough day? 437 00:22:58,396 --> 00:23:01,275 Speaker 2: So I think just pausing and asking, and the answer 438 00:23:01,316 --> 00:23:04,356 Speaker 2: may be I need to go to my room. And again, 439 00:23:04,475 --> 00:23:09,235 Speaker 2: as long as that's not a continual pattern, I think 440 00:23:09,275 --> 00:23:11,876 Speaker 2: that's okay. But I think to pause and be curious 441 00:23:11,916 --> 00:23:15,756 Speaker 2: about the people we love instead of assuming we know exactly. 442 00:23:15,356 --> 00:23:18,075 Speaker 3: What they need, that can be a helpful first step. 443 00:23:19,116 --> 00:23:23,075 Speaker 1: And you write about signaling to your kids you're safe. 444 00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:25,796 Speaker 1: You know that it's important for kids to feel you're safe. 445 00:23:26,156 --> 00:23:29,636 Speaker 1: Are those in addition to asking questions like that to 446 00:23:29,676 --> 00:23:32,035 Speaker 1: your children? Are there other ways that we can signal 447 00:23:32,076 --> 00:23:33,316 Speaker 1: that they're safe. 448 00:23:33,596 --> 00:23:36,315 Speaker 2: I think that taking care of ourselves is a big 449 00:23:36,356 --> 00:23:39,756 Speaker 2: part of that. It's need to be able to feel like, Okay, 450 00:23:40,396 --> 00:23:43,555 Speaker 2: mom and dad are okay, not perfect. 451 00:23:44,796 --> 00:23:45,916 Speaker 1: But they like each other. 452 00:23:46,475 --> 00:23:53,556 Speaker 2: Yes, right, but yeah, so I know we can sometimes sing, oh, 453 00:23:53,556 --> 00:23:56,516 Speaker 2: taking care of myself is selfish or I shouldn't do that, 454 00:23:56,676 --> 00:24:00,595 Speaker 2: but actually saying okay, if I'm anxious, then one of 455 00:24:00,596 --> 00:24:03,235 Speaker 2: the best ways to help my kiddo with their anxiety 456 00:24:03,515 --> 00:24:04,596 Speaker 2: is to do the. 457 00:24:04,515 --> 00:24:07,315 Speaker 3: Work on my anxiety. Ye say, I mean, I go 458 00:24:07,436 --> 00:24:09,555 Speaker 3: to counseling, I work with my doctor on this. 459 00:24:09,796 --> 00:24:12,316 Speaker 2: I have daily rhythms that I need in place, and 460 00:24:12,475 --> 00:24:15,755 Speaker 2: when I don't do them, things start to go sideways again. 461 00:24:16,836 --> 00:24:20,636 Speaker 2: And so pausing and saying okay, let's start with my 462 00:24:20,796 --> 00:24:23,755 Speaker 2: anxiety and see what I can figure out there. 463 00:24:23,836 --> 00:24:24,596 Speaker 3: Because as you. 464 00:24:24,636 --> 00:24:27,235 Speaker 2: Learn about your own, then you'll have tools and things 465 00:24:27,235 --> 00:24:28,755 Speaker 2: that pass on to your kiddo. 466 00:24:29,076 --> 00:24:33,395 Speaker 3: And just your presence, like your calmer presence. 467 00:24:33,156 --> 00:24:36,916 Speaker 2: Is a huge gift too, So I think that can 468 00:24:36,955 --> 00:24:40,436 Speaker 2: be part of it. And then like my daughter with 469 00:24:40,515 --> 00:24:42,955 Speaker 2: her kiddos, they have a quiet corner they can go 470 00:24:43,035 --> 00:24:44,676 Speaker 2: to whenever they're overwhelmed. 471 00:24:44,876 --> 00:24:46,916 Speaker 3: They both have weighted blankets. 472 00:24:47,916 --> 00:24:51,515 Speaker 2: Target now has these amazing little weighted stuffed animals. 473 00:24:51,715 --> 00:24:53,556 Speaker 3: I have one that our friend gave me. I then 474 00:24:53,636 --> 00:24:54,676 Speaker 3: bought them for my. 475 00:24:54,715 --> 00:25:00,196 Speaker 2: Daughter and both grandkids, and those are super calming. Certain 476 00:25:00,316 --> 00:25:04,196 Speaker 2: sense help our bodies. Like also just thinking in sensory 477 00:25:04,316 --> 00:25:08,756 Speaker 2: ways and creating environments in our homes that are calming, 478 00:25:08,916 --> 00:25:11,555 Speaker 2: even the amount of noise maybe the TV's not on 479 00:25:11,796 --> 00:25:14,795 Speaker 2: all the time or music, maybe they're space for silence. 480 00:25:15,676 --> 00:25:21,276 Speaker 2: So I think just noticing women, is my kid the calmest. 481 00:25:21,436 --> 00:25:24,795 Speaker 3: And what is going on? Because that might be different 482 00:25:24,796 --> 00:25:25,396 Speaker 3: for everybody. 483 00:25:25,475 --> 00:25:27,516 Speaker 2: Like one kid's going to be calmer in their room, 484 00:25:27,556 --> 00:25:29,876 Speaker 2: one's gonna be calmer hanging upside down from the tree 485 00:25:29,876 --> 00:25:31,116 Speaker 2: in the backyard. 486 00:25:30,636 --> 00:25:34,196 Speaker 1: You know, totally or eating case that's right. 487 00:25:35,916 --> 00:25:38,955 Speaker 2: So even a little diary that you keep, like when 488 00:25:38,995 --> 00:25:41,396 Speaker 2: my kid is calm, what is happening? 489 00:25:41,515 --> 00:25:44,275 Speaker 3: And how can I replicate that? And when am I calm? 490 00:25:44,356 --> 00:25:46,396 Speaker 3: And how can I replicate that's right? And when are 491 00:25:46,396 --> 00:25:50,596 Speaker 3: we all call together? Which may greatly happen? How can 492 00:25:50,636 --> 00:25:51,636 Speaker 3: we do more of that? 493 00:25:52,356 --> 00:25:55,595 Speaker 2: Sometimes we can be so tempted to fix what's wrong, 494 00:25:55,676 --> 00:25:57,996 Speaker 2: which makes us look for what's wrong. But I think 495 00:25:58,035 --> 00:25:59,995 Speaker 2: it can be so healing and helpful to be like, 496 00:26:00,076 --> 00:26:02,475 Speaker 2: let's catch ourselves being calm. 497 00:26:02,196 --> 00:26:04,396 Speaker 3: Like, yes, we do this, sometimes we. 498 00:26:04,356 --> 00:26:06,235 Speaker 1: Know how to do this, notice it. 499 00:26:06,275 --> 00:26:07,715 Speaker 3: So let's notice it. 500 00:26:07,676 --> 00:26:11,555 Speaker 2: And celebrate it and honor it and replicate it and 501 00:26:11,995 --> 00:26:14,836 Speaker 2: sort of crowd out the anxiety instead of feeling like 502 00:26:14,955 --> 00:26:16,676 Speaker 2: we have to just tackle it and fix it. 503 00:26:16,715 --> 00:26:17,676 Speaker 1: Focus, hocus. 504 00:26:18,475 --> 00:26:22,716 Speaker 2: Anxiety for Rookie and I can't be anxious is actually 505 00:26:22,796 --> 00:26:23,996 Speaker 2: anxiety for rings. 506 00:26:24,796 --> 00:26:27,916 Speaker 1: Your book obviously has so many prayers that people can 507 00:26:27,995 --> 00:26:32,516 Speaker 1: pray from scripture to the Lord kind of talk about 508 00:26:32,596 --> 00:26:35,555 Speaker 1: how we can model that, like praying for our kids. 509 00:26:35,596 --> 00:26:37,475 Speaker 1: What might that look like? How can we start if 510 00:26:37,515 --> 00:26:38,916 Speaker 1: we feel like like I don't know what to do, 511 00:26:38,955 --> 00:26:39,755 Speaker 1: I don't know what to say. 512 00:26:40,556 --> 00:26:44,676 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's okay to start with God. 513 00:26:44,475 --> 00:26:46,676 Speaker 3: Here I am I don't know what to do I 514 00:26:46,755 --> 00:26:47,836 Speaker 3: don't know what to say. 515 00:26:48,515 --> 00:26:52,116 Speaker 2: Help please, you know, I think honest prayers are always 516 00:26:52,275 --> 00:26:55,115 Speaker 2: all right. Yeah, And one of my favorite prayers that 517 00:26:55,196 --> 00:26:57,356 Speaker 2: helped me when I was going through a really challenging 518 00:26:57,396 --> 00:27:00,916 Speaker 2: situation last year where someone in my life is making 519 00:27:00,995 --> 00:27:01,636 Speaker 2: choices that. 520 00:27:01,636 --> 00:27:05,515 Speaker 3: I could not control that were hurtful and harmful. 521 00:27:05,755 --> 00:27:08,795 Speaker 2: And I think we all find ourselves in that place 522 00:27:08,836 --> 00:27:12,556 Speaker 2: at some point. In the prayer I would pray is God, 523 00:27:12,596 --> 00:27:15,316 Speaker 2: give me the wisdom to know what work is mine 524 00:27:15,356 --> 00:27:16,156 Speaker 2: to do today. 525 00:27:16,515 --> 00:27:19,676 Speaker 3: I release everything and everyone else to you. 526 00:27:20,275 --> 00:27:24,636 Speaker 2: It's good and so I think that gentle detachment, that 527 00:27:24,836 --> 00:27:29,676 Speaker 2: loving detachment, it's not and I don't care, it's I care, 528 00:27:30,076 --> 00:27:33,356 Speaker 2: but I cannot carry everything that's right. So Jesus showing 529 00:27:33,356 --> 00:27:35,835 Speaker 2: me what is mine to carry today and what I 530 00:27:35,876 --> 00:27:36,715 Speaker 2: can give to you. 531 00:27:37,156 --> 00:27:38,196 Speaker 3: And it's just for today. 532 00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:40,796 Speaker 2: Tomorrow might be different and I might have to say 533 00:27:40,836 --> 00:27:42,836 Speaker 2: that same prayer their days I had to say. 534 00:27:42,955 --> 00:27:45,196 Speaker 3: I mean, it felt like a hundred times because I 535 00:27:45,235 --> 00:27:47,796 Speaker 3: put it down, pick it back up. 536 00:27:47,436 --> 00:27:47,795 Speaker 1: Back up. 537 00:27:48,116 --> 00:27:51,396 Speaker 2: Yes, you know. So that that prayer, God give me 538 00:27:51,475 --> 00:27:53,955 Speaker 2: the wisdom to know what work is mine to do today. 539 00:27:54,196 --> 00:27:57,715 Speaker 2: I release everything and everyone else to you. Is a 540 00:27:57,755 --> 00:28:00,636 Speaker 2: short one that I've found to be really. 541 00:28:00,995 --> 00:28:01,715 Speaker 3: Calming for me. 542 00:28:02,235 --> 00:28:04,676 Speaker 1: It's so good. My daughter Noel, who's in college, you know, 543 00:28:04,715 --> 00:28:06,995 Speaker 1: she was taking tests and all these things, and she 544 00:28:07,596 --> 00:28:10,516 Speaker 1: found encouragement. I think it's first, Peter, it's cash your 545 00:28:10,515 --> 00:28:13,196 Speaker 1: cares on the Lord and because he cares for you. 546 00:28:13,275 --> 00:28:17,035 Speaker 1: And she realized when I'm if I'm worrying about a test, 547 00:28:17,275 --> 00:28:19,595 Speaker 1: but if I've already studied and I already done it, 548 00:28:19,636 --> 00:28:21,515 Speaker 1: but I just keep worrying about it all day long, 549 00:28:21,596 --> 00:28:24,156 Speaker 1: like that doesn't help me. So Lord, i just cast 550 00:28:24,235 --> 00:28:26,916 Speaker 1: my care on you now, and when it's time to study, 551 00:28:26,995 --> 00:28:29,635 Speaker 1: I'll study, and then when the study is over, I'll 552 00:28:29,676 --> 00:28:32,636 Speaker 1: stop thinking about it. And the way she was trying 553 00:28:32,676 --> 00:28:35,995 Speaker 1: to do that was meditating on that scripture. I cast 554 00:28:36,076 --> 00:28:38,796 Speaker 1: my care on you for you care for me, And 555 00:28:38,836 --> 00:28:42,716 Speaker 1: I was like, that is good, Noelle, Yeah, that is good. 556 00:28:43,836 --> 00:28:46,716 Speaker 3: Use that, Yes, absolutely, Holly. 557 00:28:46,836 --> 00:28:49,196 Speaker 1: As we close out, is there something that you want 558 00:28:49,236 --> 00:28:51,595 Speaker 1: to share from your book and then that you know 559 00:28:51,636 --> 00:28:53,916 Speaker 1: we didn't get to touch on, and then how can 560 00:28:53,956 --> 00:28:57,036 Speaker 1: people find out more about you and your beautiful book 561 00:28:57,116 --> 00:28:58,516 Speaker 1: Prayers for Peace of Mind? 562 00:28:59,036 --> 00:29:01,916 Speaker 2: Yeah? I think I just want to normalize anxiety, that 563 00:29:02,036 --> 00:29:05,756 Speaker 2: it is a universal human experience. 564 00:29:05,276 --> 00:29:07,676 Speaker 3: And we are not in trouble with God for it. 565 00:29:07,996 --> 00:29:10,596 Speaker 2: Yeah, Like when he says do not fear in Scripture, 566 00:29:10,716 --> 00:29:13,756 Speaker 2: I looked, and he's almost always saying it to someone 567 00:29:13,876 --> 00:29:18,556 Speaker 2: who is already afraid. So it is a reassurance. Not 568 00:29:19,956 --> 00:29:22,156 Speaker 2: so when you say to your kids, don't be afraid, 569 00:29:22,276 --> 00:29:25,556 Speaker 2: don't be anxious. You're not saying you're bad because you're 570 00:29:25,596 --> 00:29:26,596 Speaker 2: anxious and afraid. 571 00:29:26,716 --> 00:29:29,196 Speaker 3: What is wrong with you about that? Right now? 572 00:29:29,316 --> 00:29:32,156 Speaker 2: Don't you trust me as your parent? Like you wouldn't 573 00:29:32,196 --> 00:29:34,956 Speaker 2: say that to your child, And our heavenly father does 574 00:29:35,116 --> 00:29:37,276 Speaker 2: not say that to us when we are anxious. 575 00:29:37,356 --> 00:29:40,636 Speaker 3: He says, I see you. I have lived on that earth. 576 00:29:40,796 --> 00:29:48,436 Speaker 2: I know how complicated and stressful it can be. Siblings, siblings, 577 00:29:48,476 --> 00:29:52,996 Speaker 2: imperfect parents, And I get it. I get it, and 578 00:29:53,516 --> 00:29:57,716 Speaker 2: I will be in this with you now. His invitation 579 00:29:58,316 --> 00:30:00,956 Speaker 2: is for us to not stay there. His heart is 580 00:30:00,996 --> 00:30:03,396 Speaker 2: not for us to stay in anxiety. Yeah, but that 581 00:30:03,476 --> 00:30:07,635 Speaker 2: we go there sometimes. He absolutely has deep compassion for that. 582 00:30:08,236 --> 00:30:10,436 Speaker 2: So I think we can release all the guilt and 583 00:30:10,516 --> 00:30:14,276 Speaker 2: shame we feel about having anxiety and just saying this 584 00:30:14,396 --> 00:30:16,396 Speaker 2: is part of me in human I mean, Jesus sweat 585 00:30:16,396 --> 00:30:18,116 Speaker 2: blood in the Garden of dyssemony. 586 00:30:18,236 --> 00:30:19,876 Speaker 3: You can't tell me he wasn't anxious. 587 00:30:20,196 --> 00:30:23,236 Speaker 2: Yeah, So it is saying, all right, this is a 588 00:30:23,236 --> 00:30:24,315 Speaker 2: part of being human. 589 00:30:24,556 --> 00:30:27,196 Speaker 3: I'm not alone in this. God is with me. Now. 590 00:30:27,236 --> 00:30:30,356 Speaker 3: God help me take the net small step to move 591 00:30:30,516 --> 00:30:34,756 Speaker 3: out of this anxiety and fact toward deep peace with you. 592 00:30:35,436 --> 00:30:38,196 Speaker 2: And we just do that, you know, over and over 593 00:30:38,396 --> 00:30:40,636 Speaker 2: some days more than others, and eat our case so 594 00:30:40,916 --> 00:30:42,236 Speaker 2: and hug our people and. 595 00:30:42,236 --> 00:30:45,595 Speaker 3: That's right, try again, yes and so. 596 00:30:45,876 --> 00:30:48,676 Speaker 2: Really like, if anyone's listening and they felt guilt or 597 00:30:48,676 --> 00:30:50,796 Speaker 2: shame over their anxiety. 598 00:30:50,756 --> 00:30:53,316 Speaker 3: Then that is something that today they can lay down 599 00:30:53,356 --> 00:30:54,796 Speaker 3: and say I don't have to carry that. 600 00:30:54,756 --> 00:30:58,876 Speaker 1: Anymore and hear that reassurance fear not, I am with you, 601 00:30:59,156 --> 00:31:03,796 Speaker 1: and that it's a loving, a loving hug from heaven 602 00:31:03,916 --> 00:31:07,636 Speaker 1: to say, hey, I'm with you, It's okay, Hollie. As always, 603 00:31:07,716 --> 00:31:10,276 Speaker 1: it is so rich to talk to you. You are 604 00:31:10,396 --> 00:31:14,396 Speaker 1: so wise and loving and calm, and you're working all 605 00:31:14,436 --> 00:31:17,756 Speaker 1: these things out yourself, and you're able to bless us 606 00:31:17,796 --> 00:31:21,636 Speaker 1: with such knowledge. So, whether we are anxious ourselves, whether 607 00:31:21,716 --> 00:31:23,756 Speaker 1: we are a parent of someone who's anxious, you have 608 00:31:24,156 --> 00:31:26,996 Speaker 1: helped us today. How can people connect with you and 609 00:31:27,476 --> 00:31:28,595 Speaker 1: find out more about you. 610 00:31:29,356 --> 00:31:31,316 Speaker 2: I would love for people to connect with me at 611 00:31:31,316 --> 00:31:34,996 Speaker 2: Hollygirth dot com slash piece. You can actually download a 612 00:31:35,076 --> 00:31:37,156 Speaker 2: free five day excerpt of the book there. 613 00:31:37,316 --> 00:31:39,996 Speaker 3: So if you want a little mini devotional. 614 00:31:39,516 --> 00:31:42,315 Speaker 2: Plan even to go through with your family for the 615 00:31:42,356 --> 00:31:44,835 Speaker 2: next five days, then you are welcome to get that 616 00:31:44,876 --> 00:31:48,075 Speaker 2: for free there. And then you'll be invited to be 617 00:31:48,156 --> 00:31:50,276 Speaker 2: on my emails too, so we can stay connected. 618 00:31:50,596 --> 00:31:52,956 Speaker 1: That's wonderful, and we will have that link in the 619 00:31:52,996 --> 00:31:56,796 Speaker 1: show notes. Thank you so much, Holly, thank you, Thank 620 00:31:56,796 --> 00:31:59,916 Speaker 1: you friend for listening. Remember you don't have to come 621 00:32:00,236 --> 00:32:03,356 Speaker 1: from a happy home to create one. You two can 622 00:32:03,436 --> 00:32:08,236 Speaker 1: have a happy home. I hope you've enjoyed today's conversation. 623 00:32:08,676 --> 00:32:11,836 Speaker 1: I'd love to keep in touch beyond this podcast. Click 624 00:32:11,916 --> 00:32:14,636 Speaker 1: subscribe in the show notes and I will give you 625 00:32:14,676 --> 00:32:17,516 Speaker 1: my latest email to keep up on what's happening with 626 00:32:17,636 --> 00:32:21,876 Speaker 1: technology and kid And maybe you like reading or listening 627 00:32:21,876 --> 00:32:24,036 Speaker 1: to books. I have a lot of books you could 628 00:32:24,036 --> 00:32:25,196 Speaker 1: start with The Big. 629 00:32:24,996 --> 00:32:30,796 Speaker 4: Three, Making Marriage Easier, Parents Rising or Screen Kids. A 630 00:32:30,796 --> 00:32:32,956 Speaker 4: big thank you to the team at Life Audio for 631 00:32:33,036 --> 00:32:35,476 Speaker 4: their partnership with the Happy Home podcast. 632 00:32:35,716 --> 00:32:38,996 Speaker 1: Check out lifeaudio dot com for dozens of other faith 633 00:32:39,116 --> 00:32:42,276 Speaker 1: related podcasts about prayer, Bible study. 634 00:32:41,996 --> 00:32:42,436 Speaker 4: And more. 635 00:32:43,076 --> 00:32:45,996 Speaker 1: Remember you don't have to come from a happy home 636 00:32:46,116 --> 00:32:49,956 Speaker 1: to create one. You two can have a happy homes.