1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:10,280 Speaker 2: Are you weary from constantly striving, juggling endless responsibilities, and 3 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 2: living at a pace that leaves you burned out and exhausted. 4 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,760 Speaker 2: I've been there, so you are not alone. In today's 5 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 2: episode of Your Hope Field Perspective, I'm joined by Porscha Preston, 6 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 2: a public health expert, two time ted X speaker, and 7 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 2: author of the book Hustle Flow or Let It Go. 8 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:32,159 Speaker 2: Her compassionate, shamefree approach to wellness helps us recognize the 9 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:36,919 Speaker 2: hidden costs of hustle culture, embrace flexibility, and release what 10 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,960 Speaker 2: no longer serves us so we can live with the 11 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:43,560 Speaker 2: greater balance, peace and joy. Welcome to your hope Field 12 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:46,199 Speaker 2: Perspective with doctor Michelle Banks and where our goal is 13 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:49,960 Speaker 2: to restore hope, renew minds, and empower listeners to live 14 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 2: in their God given identity. I'm always honored when you 15 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 2: choose to spend a few minutes of your week with us. 16 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 2: In this episode of Your Hope Field Perspective, we'll explore 17 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 2: how to overcome burnout, release hustle culture, and create a shamefree, 18 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:08,320 Speaker 2: sustainable wellness lifestyle that restores balance and peace. We'll dive 19 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:13,759 Speaker 2: into that after a brief word from our sponsor. If 20 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,959 Speaker 2: you've ever wondered how to create sustainable wellness in a 21 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 2: world that glorifies busyness and burnout, today's conversation will be 22 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 2: a breath of fresh air. Doctor Porsche Preston, who's an author, researcher, 23 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 2: and founder of Empowered to Exhale, joins this episode to 24 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:34,000 Speaker 2: share practical wisdom from her new book, Hustle Flow or 25 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 2: Let It Go. Today we're going to explore how to 26 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:41,679 Speaker 2: overcome burnout, release hustle culture, and create shamefree sustainable wellness 27 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:45,840 Speaker 2: that restores balance and peace. But you know, our healing 28 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 2: and renewal aren't found in endless productivity, but in returning 29 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:56,440 Speaker 2: to God's presence, where rest, wietness and confidence restores our souls. 30 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:58,840 Speaker 2: That's why I wanted to just start off this episode 31 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 2: by reminding you of Isaiah thirty verse fifteen that says, 32 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:06,160 Speaker 2: this is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of 33 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:10,520 Speaker 2: Israel says. Only in returning to Me and resting in 34 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:14,920 Speaker 2: Me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is 35 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 2: your strength. Doctor Porscha Preston is a public health expert, 36 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 2: two time ted X speaker, and she's the founder of 37 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:25,600 Speaker 2: Empowered to Exhale. She holds degrees from Stanford, the University 38 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:29,720 Speaker 2: of Michigan, GOBLUE, and UCLA, and she currently serves as 39 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:33,799 Speaker 2: a faculty member at California State University Fullerton. Through her 40 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 2: groundbreaking work, doctor Preston helps individuals and organizations create a 41 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:43,840 Speaker 2: culture of sustainable wellness and performance. Her new book offers 42 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:48,640 Speaker 2: a compassionate, shame free roadmap to releasing wholesto culture and 43 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 2: embracing wellness that truly honors our unique realities. Welcome to 44 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:55,920 Speaker 2: the program, Portsie. 45 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:57,240 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I'm happy to be here. 46 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:00,639 Speaker 2: Your new book, Hulso Flower, Let It Go is It's 47 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:04,240 Speaker 2: part testimonial and part guidebook for those struggling with the 48 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:08,079 Speaker 2: effects of living at an unsustainable pace. Which is why 49 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,639 Speaker 2: I was so blessed when it crossed my desk, because 50 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:13,640 Speaker 2: in all transparency, I have lived there. I thought I 51 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 2: learned my lesson, then I lived there again. So it's 52 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 2: one of those things that I think bears us returning 53 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,840 Speaker 2: to every now and again. But before we dive into 54 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 2: your story and your book, can you share your area 55 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,200 Speaker 2: of expertise and what led you to pursue a career 56 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:30,040 Speaker 2: in public health. 57 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 1: Sure, So it actually started when I was younger. Growing up. 58 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,680 Speaker 1: I'm just a very how would you say, I'm very 59 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 1: aware of my environment around me, and so even as 60 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,160 Speaker 1: a little girl, I was paying attention to my family 61 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,960 Speaker 1: and when people were passing away, what were they dealing with? 62 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 1: And a lot of the times it was these preventable illnesses. 63 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,800 Speaker 1: And so it came from a heart of doingly wanting 64 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,720 Speaker 1: to help people, And at first I thought that was 65 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,440 Speaker 1: by being a doctor, and some years later I found 66 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: it into public health and I really realized that I 67 00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 1: could help people in a different way, and I started 68 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 1: to just think about what is it about culture and 69 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:11,320 Speaker 1: society and our environments that shapes how we experience illness, 70 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:14,000 Speaker 1: our health behaviors, our outcomes. And so all of that 71 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:17,359 Speaker 1: curiosity that I probably started having around nineteen is honestly 72 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 1: why I am where I am today. And what led 73 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:22,600 Speaker 1: me to focus on wellness in the way that we're 74 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,920 Speaker 1: speaking about it today was my own health journey. There 75 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 1: was a time where I didn't think the stress affected 76 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,160 Speaker 1: your health, because as far as I knew, I was 77 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,640 Speaker 1: a brain just walking around on sticks. I wasn't connected 78 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:34,840 Speaker 1: to my body at all, and it wasn't until I 79 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 1: got diagnosed with kidney disease that I started to realize, 80 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 1: there's another way that I'm going to have to figure 81 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:45,159 Speaker 1: out because the standard way isn't working. And I pushed 82 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 1: myself to exercise too hard, I would end up in 83 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:51,040 Speaker 1: a ball for days. So it was a combination of 84 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 1: my lived experience as well as my training and public 85 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 1: health that ultimately led me to create a research area 86 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:01,560 Speaker 1: where I focused initially on secondary stress and burnout, and 87 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,640 Speaker 1: then I thought, I need to study something that's a 88 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:09,840 Speaker 1: little bit poor happy, So I thought about wellness, and 89 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:13,839 Speaker 1: the inclusive wellness is really about looking at wellness the 90 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,039 Speaker 1: lens of someone's identity and lived experience. 91 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:21,479 Speaker 2: So I find that so often our books, our ministries, 92 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 2: our resources are rooted out of something we needed or 93 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,680 Speaker 2: some pain point that we experience. So I'm not at 94 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,920 Speaker 2: all surprised to hear you say that's what led to this. 95 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:36,040 Speaker 2: I know you have experience working with organizations in nearly 96 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:41,600 Speaker 2: small sectors, from corporate, healthcare, federal government, nonprofit, to entrepreneurship 97 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 2: and more. What common threads have you observed in each 98 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 2: of these areas when it comes to stress and burnout? 99 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,800 Speaker 1: I think that every area has it, and it just 100 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 1: takes on a different form. And the reason I work 101 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 1: with all of those sectors is because I have worked 102 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 1: in all of those sectors. I started working for profit 103 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,760 Speaker 1: and gamble when I was sixteen years old. Wow, so 104 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,320 Speaker 1: I've really been doing this for a while, and I 105 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,919 Speaker 1: knew in the corporate world there were some parts, some 106 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 1: roles that were a bit softer, but there was also 107 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,800 Speaker 1: this sensatiable grind. Yeah right, And so when I went 108 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:19,719 Speaker 1: into nonprofit, what it looked like was getting the grant 109 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 1: money and putting on events the community really needed, but 110 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 1: not having enough resources and needing to partner with corporations 111 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,360 Speaker 1: and other entities to make that work. So we're all 112 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 1: seeing at different sides of the table. But the truth 113 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:36,479 Speaker 1: is the other common factor is that we all have 114 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 1: personal lives that contribute to the burnout that we're experiencing 115 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 1: or sure, and so it might be a little harder 116 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,240 Speaker 1: to see from the outside, but from the inside it's 117 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 1: all the same. 118 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:52,880 Speaker 2: Yeah. So what was the most difficult lesson you personally 119 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,800 Speaker 2: had to learn with respect to stress and burnout? 120 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: I think I'm still learning it, to be honest with you. 121 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 1: It is mech im, oh, good, good good. I'm glad 122 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 1: to have you say that. Always nice when you feel 123 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 1: like you have some community in your struggles. And I 124 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 1: really believe it's the lesson that this is ever evolving. 125 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 1: I've always questioned the idea of burnout that is something 126 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 1: that is in the context of work, because I'm thinking, well, 127 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 1: what about all these other parts of our lives and 128 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:23,240 Speaker 1: the different ways of we intersect with work, And I'm realizing, oh, 129 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,640 Speaker 1: this reflects the culture that makes it all about the individual. 130 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 1: So there's something that you're doing or not doing. 131 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:28,240 Speaker 2: Yeah. 132 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 1: Right. 133 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 2: We do tend to think of burnout specifically associated with 134 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 2: our jobs or our vocations. But I'd be curious what 135 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:41,880 Speaker 2: you've identified in terms of how can we recognize burnout 136 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 2: like in our relationships, in our personal lives, because we 137 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:51,240 Speaker 2: really can't separate any facet of our life because it 138 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 2: all works together somehow to create wellness or to create illness. 139 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 2: So how have you noticed that in your work? 140 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:03,440 Speaker 1: So the first thing I'm realizing now is that burnout 141 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 1: is a term that was created in the seventies and 142 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,880 Speaker 1: the contest of helping professionals, and so you're talking about 143 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:12,280 Speaker 1: a certain context and time a certain place and time, 144 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,880 Speaker 1: and they're observing these phenomena and they go, hey, these 145 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 1: three dimensions are what we are seeing, and we are 146 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,280 Speaker 1: going to call this burnout. But it's fifty years later 147 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 1: and we are now find that safe, nonsensible world that 148 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:27,720 Speaker 1: is rapidly changing. And so I've come across some literature 149 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 1: that really questions what are the foundations of this and 150 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 1: is it time for us to look at this in 151 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,679 Speaker 1: a different way. And it's very awkward to say, yes, 152 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:38,199 Speaker 1: please crumble my research like a house of cards. I 153 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 1: would love to start over, but I truly genuinely am 154 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 1: committed to helping people describe for themselves. You be the 155 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,959 Speaker 1: author of that. What does burnout look like for you 156 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:52,679 Speaker 1: in your relationship. For some people, it's this feeling of 157 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 1: I have to make sure that everyone else is happy 158 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,319 Speaker 1: at all times because that is safety for me. 159 00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:58,080 Speaker 2: Right. 160 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:00,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh, that's not going to be in the criteria, right, 161 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:04,199 Speaker 1: that's no one's telling you to do that. But if 162 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 1: you look at trauma literature, oh it makes a lot 163 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,640 Speaker 1: of sense. But there's also being in a relationship where 164 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,600 Speaker 1: it's at its end and you're both just really trying 165 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 1: to hang on, and that can wear it you as well, 166 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:18,560 Speaker 1: or perhaps someone has a health issue or a financial issue, 167 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,560 Speaker 1: and it's like, I think it's more accurately described as 168 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,280 Speaker 1: a blender, and you get to tell me, like what's 169 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 1: in your smoothie today? So I don't want to discredit 170 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 1: that work absolutely does contribute to the phenomena that we're experiencing. 171 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,360 Speaker 1: I just want us to do exactly what you said, 172 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:37,440 Speaker 1: which is invite this integration of all aspects of our lives. 173 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:42,079 Speaker 1: And if I'm managing our chronic illness and navigating medication 174 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:45,320 Speaker 1: changes and appointments, and you asked a question, how do 175 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 1: I know when I'm getting to that point? Right, this 176 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:51,240 Speaker 1: chronic stress, it's when I lose connection with myself. That's 177 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,560 Speaker 1: really the best way I know where am I in 178 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 1: relation to myself and the things that I value most. 179 00:09:56,280 --> 00:10:00,240 Speaker 1: If I'm being irritable in my relationships, something's off. These 180 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:01,360 Speaker 1: are people that I love, right. 181 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 2: I wish that I couldn't identify with that. And if 182 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 2: you asked me, if you'd ask me a decade ago 183 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 2: about my experience with burnout, I would have pointed directly 184 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:16,320 Speaker 2: to my career and always feeling like it was on 185 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:19,960 Speaker 2: me to provide because who else would do it. But 186 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,959 Speaker 2: it's only been in recent years when I've found that. Oh, 187 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:27,920 Speaker 2: but burnout extends to all facets. 188 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:29,920 Speaker 1: Of right, So we're not saying it's not that right, 189 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:34,040 Speaker 1: just saying that and yes, because what if someone is 190 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 1: searching for a job and they're putting in thousands of applications. 191 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:38,840 Speaker 1: Are you telling me that they can't get burned out 192 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 1: because they don't have a role yet. So it's kind 193 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 1: of absurd when you really but you have to be 194 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,800 Speaker 1: in a space where you allow yourself to think about 195 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 1: taking the term off your shelf and saying, what does 196 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:50,280 Speaker 1: wellness mean for me? 197 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:50,760 Speaker 2: Yeah? 198 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 1: Is it all of these things that I keep working 199 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,200 Speaker 1: so hard to get because I believe that if I 200 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:58,000 Speaker 1: just meet that ideal, I will be okay? Or is 201 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 1: wellness being able to meet my myself right here and 202 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:05,520 Speaker 1: be with myself and meet my needs? And that's the 203 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:06,800 Speaker 1: road that I had to travel. 204 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:11,520 Speaker 2: Interpersonally, I have found some keys that will let me 205 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:16,400 Speaker 2: know you're starting to head down that way and relationally 206 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:19,679 Speaker 2: it for me, it can look like not having as 207 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:24,520 Speaker 2: much compassion as I usually have, being irritable, yeah, or 208 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 2: or people asking me to pray and my first thought 209 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:31,560 Speaker 2: is I don't want to. To me, that feels like 210 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:35,640 Speaker 2: one more burden somebody else is asking me to carry, 211 00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:37,640 Speaker 2: and I don't want to be that way. But I've 212 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:42,360 Speaker 2: learned to identify those cues that, oh, it's time to 213 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 2: go back and look at the whole person and see, Okay, 214 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:49,280 Speaker 2: what is contributing to this so that I don't end 215 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:53,120 Speaker 2: up in a worse situation. And it has taken its 216 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 2: toll on my health as it has done for you, 217 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 2: so I don't want to give it the opportunity to 218 00:11:58,840 --> 00:11:59,200 Speaker 2: do that. 219 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,679 Speaker 1: Well, I will tell you the answer for me, and 220 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,560 Speaker 1: I don't think that you're going to like it, and 221 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,160 Speaker 1: I don't think your listeners are going to like it. 222 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:12,239 Speaker 1: Surrender isn't about what you can do. You are irritable 223 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:16,200 Speaker 1: because you're actually trying really hard. We're not irritable for kicks. 224 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 1: We're not doing it for fun. We're doing it because 225 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,080 Speaker 1: everything that we're trying isn't working and we can't do 226 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,560 Speaker 1: one more thing, And so we have this idea of oh, 227 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:24,880 Speaker 1: I just need to go to God and I just 228 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:26,480 Speaker 1: need to give it to God. And I like to 229 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 1: think of it more so as being on the boat 230 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,880 Speaker 1: and the rocky waters You're not going to go outside 231 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,200 Speaker 1: and calm that boat down. You're not going to calm 232 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,480 Speaker 1: the waters down. All you can do sometimes is sit 233 00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:41,719 Speaker 1: there in the valley, maybe underneath the valley, and know 234 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:45,160 Speaker 1: that God is with you. And that is what I 235 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:49,520 Speaker 1: think is important for me to honor from a spiritual perspective, 236 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:53,079 Speaker 1: the times that I feel the least spiritual, I am 237 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:56,680 Speaker 1: actually deeply connected to God. And if I can take 238 00:12:56,840 --> 00:13:00,559 Speaker 1: my effort and my perfection out of it, there actually 239 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,760 Speaker 1: is nothing for me to do because God isn't looking 240 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:05,760 Speaker 1: at this situation in the same way that I am. 241 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,080 Speaker 1: He might be saying, yeah, let it burn, we're doing 242 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:09,800 Speaker 1: something here. 243 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:17,720 Speaker 2: And so true, because really God doesn't need us to 244 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,000 Speaker 2: do anything there. 245 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,880 Speaker 1: You are there, you go the Mary Marcat conundrum. 246 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:27,840 Speaker 2: That's right, and he would rather we sit in his presence. 247 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, that takes a lot of trust though, right, It's. 248 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,839 Speaker 2: Like it, that's right. I knew you were going to 249 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,920 Speaker 2: say that. I've read the book, so I knew where 250 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:37,520 Speaker 2: we're going. 251 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:39,720 Speaker 1: But here's what I want to offer. I want to 252 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 1: offer to you that my brain says it too. My 253 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 1: brain is trapped in my thoughts and it is exhausting 254 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:50,880 Speaker 1: and If I don't allow that to be, the resistance 255 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,440 Speaker 1: is just going to get ten times harder. So I 256 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,800 Speaker 1: think that the thing for us is that no one 257 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:59,120 Speaker 1: else can see that except for us, and so we 258 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,679 Speaker 1: spend a lot of time I'm shaming ourselves for it 259 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:06,280 Speaker 1: and saying, oh, just push through. And so that scripture 260 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:09,240 Speaker 1: that you gave was perfect, because what is God calling 261 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 1: us to do in that moment? 262 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,439 Speaker 2: Rest in His presence? Yes, friends, we're going to take 263 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,439 Speaker 2: a short break for a brief word from our sponsor, 264 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 2: but I want you to stick with us to hear 265 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:21,480 Speaker 2: Porsche share more about how to overcome burn out, release 266 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:25,720 Speaker 2: this hustle culture, and create a shamefree, sustainable lifestyle that 267 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:32,760 Speaker 2: restores your balance and peace. We'll be right back, Poorsche. 268 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 2: How can our to do list cause us to lose 269 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,080 Speaker 2: sight of who we are? 270 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,120 Speaker 1: I actually love the way that you asked that because 271 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:44,120 Speaker 1: I heard the answer as you said it. The to 272 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:45,600 Speaker 1: do list narrows our perspective. 273 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,000 Speaker 2: Tell me more about that. 274 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,360 Speaker 1: It's asking us to show up as the person who 275 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:54,600 Speaker 1: does these things, and so immediately we are taken out 276 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:59,720 Speaker 1: of connection with our reality and our capacity. And we've 277 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 1: been condition to say, well, that's the way that it 278 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:06,520 Speaker 1: should be. So if what I have today does a 279 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,480 Speaker 1: measure up to that, then I'm the problem. Yeah, And 280 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:11,600 Speaker 1: I'm not saying that to say that the list is bad. 281 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:15,520 Speaker 1: I think though, that we try to be many weather 282 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:18,680 Speaker 1: forecasters and we say, well, today's going to be seventy four, 283 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,960 Speaker 1: but the chance of cloudy rain, and so I'm going 284 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:23,280 Speaker 1: to put this on, and then we go outside and 285 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,280 Speaker 1: it's eighty six degrees. In our lives fall apart, and 286 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:28,240 Speaker 1: I think that we're called to surrender, and so maybe 287 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:30,720 Speaker 1: what we have is an ideal list or oh yeah, 288 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:36,320 Speaker 1: that list, and then we give it to God to 289 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:38,800 Speaker 1: let us know what actually is going to happen. I 290 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,360 Speaker 1: will tell you that today it has been a really 291 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 1: tough week for me. And if you looked at my 292 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,360 Speaker 1: to do list today, the only thing it had on 293 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:48,360 Speaker 1: it was this podcast. And I'm thinking, man, I know 294 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 1: I've been through it because I am the queen of 295 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:53,200 Speaker 1: having a twenty step to do list with a two 296 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 1: hundred page appendix. But I am at that point where 297 00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,960 Speaker 1: it's like, if this is the thing that you can 298 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:03,240 Speaker 1: can do today, not that would be enough. That would 299 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:07,000 Speaker 1: be a miracle. Yeah, So I think the to do list. 300 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,800 Speaker 1: I would welcome us to treat it as neutral. It 301 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,840 Speaker 1: just is if you're great when you finish it, that 302 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:16,800 Speaker 1: means you're bad when you don't exactly exactly. 303 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 2: And then that works through our thoughts to embed this 304 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:26,840 Speaker 2: message that your identity, your worth, your value is based 305 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 2: on your productivity. 306 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 1: Because you live in an individualist culture which is programmed 307 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:38,000 Speaker 1: to produce that. Yes, and so for me, I've actually 308 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 1: really needed community. I've needed to body double with people, 309 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,360 Speaker 1: and I've needed to accept I don't know how this 310 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:46,040 Speaker 1: is going to get done, and I think, oh, these 311 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:48,920 Speaker 1: things are not going to get done. But God is like, yeah, 312 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,920 Speaker 1: I'm just not going to tell you every detail. And 313 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,520 Speaker 1: I think he's holding back from me. But guess what 314 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,400 Speaker 1: if I knew all of the details, I would probably 315 00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 1: run away. So what I'm trying to say is that 316 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 1: the to do list doesn't reflect the reality of what 317 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:04,800 Speaker 1: we're actually going to need in terms of support or 318 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:07,920 Speaker 1: adjustment and what is not going to get done. 319 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:11,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's rather cliche, but there is a saying that 320 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:17,800 Speaker 2: says that we are human beings, not human doings. And 321 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,679 Speaker 2: I have to admit that the first time I heard that, 322 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:22,199 Speaker 2: I thought, yeah, my gosh. 323 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:25,760 Speaker 1: Right, that's rich. Incredible, It is incredible. I think it's 324 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,200 Speaker 1: really important for me to maintain a very neutral tone 325 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,960 Speaker 1: when it comes to narratives that we're questioning, because it's 326 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:35,200 Speaker 1: very easy to trigger resistance and shame when you in 327 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:40,040 Speaker 1: people's entire world in the podcast. And so what I 328 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:43,160 Speaker 1: invite us to sit with is this idea of, yes, 329 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:46,680 Speaker 1: there are times where doing is really important. Right if 330 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:50,280 Speaker 1: the person who works for the electricity company doesn't do, 331 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:54,439 Speaker 1: I can't see. But it doesn't mean that doing is 332 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:57,159 Speaker 1: your identity. And I think that's the difference. So maybe 333 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,480 Speaker 1: if we can think of being as the anchor that 334 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:02,639 Speaker 1: we return into, and maybe it is the portal that 335 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:06,359 Speaker 1: carries us into the doing. We don't do so that 336 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,880 Speaker 1: we can be we're here to be, and then we do, 337 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:12,360 Speaker 1: but not all the time, and it's not who we are. 338 00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:17,200 Speaker 2: The thing that has helped me the most is recognizing 339 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:22,679 Speaker 2: that our Lord and Savior Jesus had three years to 340 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:27,119 Speaker 2: complete his earthly ministry whatever it was that his father 341 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:31,439 Speaker 2: had for him to do, which was great work, greater 342 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:35,440 Speaker 2: work than anything I will ever do. He accomplished so much, 343 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:39,120 Speaker 2: and yet he never ran anywhere. We don't ever hear 344 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:43,120 Speaker 2: Jesus say when I can finish this list of healing 345 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:48,000 Speaker 2: and feeding and producing and preaching, then I can take 346 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:52,000 Speaker 2: my rest. In fact, we see him take time to rest. 347 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,760 Speaker 2: And I know in your book you emphasize that each 348 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,480 Speaker 2: of us is worthy of rest. Now that is a 349 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,480 Speaker 2: concept that will preach talk a little bit about how 350 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:06,399 Speaker 2: does the pursuing sustainable wellness actually restore our connection to 351 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,120 Speaker 2: the things we value. 352 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,600 Speaker 1: Sure, So I start off by letting people know that 353 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,960 Speaker 1: you were born with worth, that it was a part 354 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,520 Speaker 1: of you and it's not something that can be taken 355 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:18,800 Speaker 1: away from you, and that we all have the same worth. 356 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:21,640 Speaker 1: And I think that's really important because if we can 357 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,879 Speaker 1: find one person who's a little bit more worthy or 358 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:27,560 Speaker 1: less worthy, that's what we use to neglect our own 359 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,200 Speaker 1: to diminish our own worth, and it becomes about comparison. 360 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,000 Speaker 1: So if we all are equally worthy, we are worthy 361 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,359 Speaker 1: of care. We've been conditioned to put everyone else first, 362 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,720 Speaker 1: and we think if I dare do anything for myself, 363 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,359 Speaker 1: then I'm like a horrible person. Right, Everyone in my 364 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,440 Speaker 1: life generally likes it when I'm taking care of myself. 365 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:48,800 Speaker 1: They're like, oh, please take care of yourself, right, but 366 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:50,080 Speaker 1: it feels like rebellion. 367 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 2: Taking care of yourself feels like rebellion. That's phrased in 368 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,760 Speaker 2: a way that I don't think we've ever heard before, 369 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,679 Speaker 2: but it's key. 370 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:04,200 Speaker 1: Sure well, especially as women. You mentioned how you had 371 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:07,200 Speaker 1: to have everything together ten years ago and just had 372 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,679 Speaker 1: What I realized as a black woman is that I 373 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:12,359 Speaker 1: will get celebrated for the things that I achieve. I 374 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:17,440 Speaker 1: will never be celebrated for resting. And so the rebellion 375 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,720 Speaker 1: is to give to yourself what the world will not. 376 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:23,800 Speaker 1: And it's not because people are terrible. It's because society 377 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,960 Speaker 1: does a lot of the work when it comes to 378 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,800 Speaker 1: shaping how we see each other in the world. 379 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:33,480 Speaker 2: Will you just mention for our listeners, because I know 380 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,520 Speaker 2: that you've worked on this aspect and you've told us 381 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,840 Speaker 2: that your family appreciates it when you take care of yourself. 382 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:42,199 Speaker 2: But what does that practically look like for you? 383 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,240 Speaker 1: Sure? I will walk you through it right now. Like 384 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,480 Speaker 1: I said, it's been a very hard week and my 385 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,520 Speaker 1: brain is actually struggling to know how to execute tasks. 386 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 1: And I know that doesn't seem possible right now because 387 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,920 Speaker 1: I'm appearing as this author who clearly got this book done, 388 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,439 Speaker 1: but what people don't see is the long journey to 389 00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:00,400 Speaker 1: that and how much help was needed, and how many 390 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:03,080 Speaker 1: times in the process of writing this book, four months 391 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,480 Speaker 1: at a time I could not do a thing. And 392 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,679 Speaker 1: when God has something for you to do, it waits 393 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,480 Speaker 1: for you, and a lot of other things burn away. 394 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:15,879 Speaker 1: So in this moment, I feel bad that I have 395 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:18,400 Speaker 1: some things I care about that are delayed because I'm thinking, oh, 396 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,040 Speaker 1: this is me, so I can feel bad about me right. 397 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:24,080 Speaker 1: The way that I'm helping myself is I have people, 398 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,639 Speaker 1: oh I now I can go to that have similar struggles, 399 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,320 Speaker 1: and I literally say, okay, well you're up at this 400 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,360 Speaker 1: time and you're up at that time, and I Am 401 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:33,120 Speaker 1: not going to be alone until this gets done, because 402 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:35,680 Speaker 1: I don't want to resort to shame. So it's always 403 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,440 Speaker 1: meeting myself where I am and understanding that sometimes it 404 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:40,119 Speaker 1: might take me a few days to get there, but 405 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,240 Speaker 1: the things that I know I can do that really 406 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:46,480 Speaker 1: help me, making sure that I get some sunshine or 407 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:50,240 Speaker 1: some light, right, allowing myself to feel my emotions rather 408 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:54,159 Speaker 1: than suppressing them, especially the sad ones that I was 409 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,760 Speaker 1: taught were bad, Accepting that I don't function the way 410 00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:00,640 Speaker 1: that everybody else does. So if you had a calendar 411 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:01,880 Speaker 1: for me and you tell me what I was doing 412 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,479 Speaker 1: every single hour, left and supervised, I would never execute that. 413 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,320 Speaker 1: And so I have to be very flexible with myself 414 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,440 Speaker 1: and very adaptive. So my self care is a lot 415 00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:14,000 Speaker 1: of being willing to explore what things look like for 416 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:17,400 Speaker 1: my neurodivergent mind, accepting that I won't always get it right, 417 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,720 Speaker 1: accepting that I wan't always accepted. I think that is 418 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:22,240 Speaker 1: the biggest part right now for me. So it's a 419 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:25,440 Speaker 1: lot of cognitive stuff. The exercise is it will be there. 420 00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:27,480 Speaker 1: I have times where I think I'm doing a great 421 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:29,120 Speaker 1: job of taking care of my body, and then there's 422 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:31,639 Speaker 1: times where I'm like, I don't even feel connected to that. 423 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,480 Speaker 1: So I think that when I look at the different 424 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:38,399 Speaker 1: areas alone as spiritual, being authentic about where I am. Emotional? 425 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:40,840 Speaker 1: Am I feeling my feelings? Cognitive? Am I aware of 426 00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,800 Speaker 1: what my thought patterns are even if I can't do 427 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:46,600 Speaker 1: anything about them? Physical? Is it possible that perhaps we 428 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:50,240 Speaker 1: can eat drink water? Let's start with the really basic stuff, right, 429 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,000 Speaker 1: and then telling myself, you don't have to go walk 430 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,040 Speaker 1: outside if you sit outside. I'll take that right. Social 431 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,280 Speaker 1: you don't have to connect with everybody, but can you 432 00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:02,640 Speaker 1: connect with someone? And then for my profession, honesty, integrity, accountability, 433 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,960 Speaker 1: I'm not perfect and i will tell you the truth. 434 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:07,800 Speaker 1: I'm really great at some things right now, and I'm 435 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,520 Speaker 1: really struggling with some things right now, and I'm learning 436 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,800 Speaker 1: to be that multi layer professional that can take accountability 437 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:17,600 Speaker 1: for that because shaming myself through it wasn't working. Oh 438 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,959 Speaker 1: and the last part the community wellness is how does 439 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 1: my individual want to feed up to the collective When 440 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,280 Speaker 1: I am taking care of me and I'm safe to 441 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:26,960 Speaker 1: share my story and I come on and I share 442 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:28,359 Speaker 1: it with someone like you, that's going to help a 443 00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:30,159 Speaker 1: lot of people, But only if I take care of 444 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:30,879 Speaker 1: myself first. 445 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,840 Speaker 2: Well. And what happens so often, especially when we get 446 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:38,600 Speaker 2: to that place that we're calling burnout, is there is 447 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:41,359 Speaker 2: so much shame and we can tend to retreat and 448 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:44,560 Speaker 2: we can tend to push other people away. We don't 449 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:47,639 Speaker 2: want them to see our imperfection. We know comparison is 450 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,720 Speaker 2: a very real thing, and as much as we know 451 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,439 Speaker 2: that we shouldn't be comparing ourselves to others, we worry 452 00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:55,800 Speaker 2: that others are comparing themselves to us and judging us 453 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,880 Speaker 2: for what we're not doing or not accomplishing, when in reality, 454 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,280 Speaker 2: I found that people don't really think about us nearly 455 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,880 Speaker 2: as much as we think they're thinking about us. 456 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,359 Speaker 1: That is true, And it's also true that sometimes a 457 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,600 Speaker 1: person that has such a strong opinion about you doesn't 458 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:09,200 Speaker 1: know you at all. 459 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:10,280 Speaker 2: Very true. 460 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,400 Speaker 1: If I don't even know all of me, how could 461 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:15,399 Speaker 1: you possibly know all of me? But I might feel 462 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:16,960 Speaker 1: it like the heat of a thousand suns, and I 463 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:21,640 Speaker 1: might very much want you to like me, and I realize, oh, well, 464 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,240 Speaker 1: these are things that I learned early in life to 465 00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:26,280 Speaker 1: keep the peace and to keep things safe. So that's 466 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:29,160 Speaker 1: all we're doing. We're all showing up trying to protect ourselves. 467 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,560 Speaker 1: And if we can remember that, then maybe when these 468 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:36,520 Speaker 1: things show up, we aren't the big, bad sabotaging monsters 469 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,640 Speaker 1: who can't do anything. That's just how we feel because 470 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:44,000 Speaker 1: we're having that emotion, and then our minds are taking 471 00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:47,119 Speaker 1: the thought that seems to match. So think of it 472 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,119 Speaker 1: as you're in the shoe store. You're trying one shoes 473 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,240 Speaker 1: and someone says, yes, I'm going to put you in 474 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:54,120 Speaker 1: that five inch platform heel today, Now go run a marathon. 475 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 1: That's not going to work very well. And that's what 476 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,000 Speaker 1: some of my tea and I don't want to say 477 00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,679 Speaker 1: mine because when I say there, just thought, it helps me. 478 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:01,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. 479 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:05,920 Speaker 1: So maybe I need to allow myself to thaw a bit, 480 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:08,960 Speaker 1: and maybe I need someone to help me remember who 481 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,960 Speaker 1: I am. So I think the answer is remembering that 482 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,320 Speaker 1: we are not repairmen and we do not have a manual. 483 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,399 Speaker 2: And I think it's important my audience knows that I 484 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,959 Speaker 2: talk about this a lot, but it's important that we 485 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,360 Speaker 2: don't believe every thought we have. 486 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:26,480 Speaker 1: Exactly because the thoughts are not us. We are aware 487 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,240 Speaker 1: of the thought and it sounds like us because it's 488 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:32,639 Speaker 1: narrated in our voice, but we just have incredible production 489 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:36,720 Speaker 1: inside of our heads with surround sound. That's very convincing. 490 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,800 Speaker 2: Friends, We're going to take a real short break for 491 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,560 Speaker 2: this brief from our sponsor, but as we wrap up 492 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,959 Speaker 2: this episode, I'm going to ask Porsche to share with 493 00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:48,199 Speaker 2: you her Hope Field perspective for helping us engage in 494 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:53,200 Speaker 2: a sustainable wellness lifestyle to balance out what's going on 495 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:59,960 Speaker 2: and restore our piece. So we'll be right back. Porsche, 496 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:04,800 Speaker 2: what steps can individuals struggling to recover from stress and 497 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,119 Speaker 2: burnout begin to take today? 498 00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,639 Speaker 1: Sure, So the first thing I want to say is 499 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:13,960 Speaker 1: this is not easy. The same framework, it's four steps. 500 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,840 Speaker 1: I call it my sanity saver. The s just slow 501 00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:20,199 Speaker 1: down and reflect and the things that you know that 502 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,120 Speaker 1: have worked for you in the past may not work 503 00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:24,800 Speaker 1: for you right now, and that's okay. But think about 504 00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:27,480 Speaker 1: what's available to you right Just be present. The next 505 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:32,000 Speaker 1: one acknowledge your reality. Sometimes our brain and wanting to 506 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,640 Speaker 1: survive locks in on the worst case scenario. But even 507 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,639 Speaker 1: if that happens, God is there with us, right, and 508 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:41,960 Speaker 1: so what is real? Right? What is available to you 509 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,439 Speaker 1: right now? It doesn't have to be everything that we 510 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,439 Speaker 1: think has to be done, or even that people are 511 00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,320 Speaker 1: telling us must be done. The next one navigate with intention. 512 00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:52,520 Speaker 1: Think about your values and what matters most to you, 513 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,560 Speaker 1: and what are the very small first steps that you 514 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:59,400 Speaker 1: can take. And then the last part, evaluate and adapt. 515 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,560 Speaker 1: Remember that you're always going to have to adjust. And 516 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:05,800 Speaker 1: remember that's what the to do list doesn't tell us. 517 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:07,959 Speaker 1: We know that to do list is blind to us 518 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,679 Speaker 1: about how much we can do or how So if 519 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:13,200 Speaker 1: you can remember those steps I can slow down, except 520 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:16,119 Speaker 1: what's actually real for me right now, be intentional, and 521 00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:17,200 Speaker 1: that I can always adapt. 522 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:21,040 Speaker 2: Were those who feel caught in the hustle with no 523 00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,960 Speaker 2: way out, yeah, what would you say to them? 524 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:26,960 Speaker 1: I hear you, I see you, and I still see 525 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:30,399 Speaker 1: you as worthy because it was never about what you 526 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,680 Speaker 1: were able to do that you can't right now, And 527 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:37,280 Speaker 1: with or without the things that you need, you still 528 00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:40,840 Speaker 1: are enough. What I always tell people, you are worthy period. 529 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:44,480 Speaker 2: And when you are sharing the steps that you're going 530 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:47,600 Speaker 2: through the things that you're doing to take care of 531 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:51,520 Speaker 2: your overall wellness, make sure that you're eating that, getting 532 00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:55,080 Speaker 2: the sunlight, the acknowledging the emotions, all those things that 533 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,879 Speaker 2: you mentioned which are so valuable. I just want to 534 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:01,320 Speaker 2: encourage the listener that when you're starting out and you 535 00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:06,960 Speaker 2: feel caught in this hustle, start by doing one of them. Yeah, 536 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:10,639 Speaker 2: And as you do one, then you'll get that motivation 537 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:15,960 Speaker 2: to then proceed with another step and incorporate another piece 538 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:21,000 Speaker 2: of wellness. But the problem is when we think, Okay, 539 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,680 Speaker 2: I'm going to change everything and I'm going to start today, 540 00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:28,800 Speaker 2: and we take on this exam and large to do list, 541 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,160 Speaker 2: and that is not the goal here. 542 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,440 Speaker 1: No, And I think the first thing that would tell 543 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,720 Speaker 1: them to do is to not think about doing it all, 544 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:37,880 Speaker 1: just to realize how much we feel like we have 545 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:40,240 Speaker 1: to do it is really okay for you to fall apart. 546 00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,760 Speaker 1: I don't care who you are, right And the first 547 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:44,600 Speaker 1: thing I did this morning was talk to somebody that 548 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:46,800 Speaker 1: I felt safe with and say I can't do anything, 549 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:49,640 Speaker 1: and just being there and having them accept that and 550 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,760 Speaker 1: let that be okay. My nervous system needs to thoughb 551 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:55,800 Speaker 1: out and we can't see that in each other, and 552 00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:58,040 Speaker 1: we can't always see it in ourselves. So if you 553 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:01,040 Speaker 1: feel stuck, I'm right there with you so many days, 554 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:02,640 Speaker 1: and I'm not going to push you out of it. 555 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:04,400 Speaker 1: I'm going to meet you where you are and ask 556 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:06,400 Speaker 1: you to do the same. And I hope that you 557 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,880 Speaker 1: find other people that can pour that into you, whether 558 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:12,120 Speaker 1: it's by listening to this podcast or connecting with a friend. 559 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,320 Speaker 1: Identify the things that can help thaw you when you 560 00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:16,680 Speaker 1: feel frozen inside. 561 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:20,720 Speaker 2: And if you don't know someone or can't find someone, 562 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:25,320 Speaker 2: oh who's available in the moment. That's where I'm so reassured. 563 00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:30,120 Speaker 2: The scripture tells us that God bends his ear towards 564 00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:34,400 Speaker 2: us to listen to whatever is on our heart. Yes, 565 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:38,240 Speaker 2: Portion and I would both say find a trusted someone 566 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,480 Speaker 2: that you can bounce this off of, just like she 567 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:45,360 Speaker 2: admitted doing this morning. But the reality is, sometimes in 568 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:49,640 Speaker 2: the moment, we can't find someone who's available, and people 569 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,880 Speaker 2: don't always know, yeah, what to say, They don't always 570 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:53,240 Speaker 2: know what to pe. 571 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,440 Speaker 1: People don't always know what to say. And sometimes I 572 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:57,920 Speaker 1: want to talk to my therapist. Sometimes I can't talk 573 00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:01,840 Speaker 1: to my therapist, and who's very honest about taking medication. 574 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:05,400 Speaker 1: I have a lot of different supports, but I think 575 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,600 Speaker 1: that you look at yourself in that moment and if 576 00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:10,480 Speaker 1: what you can do is just be there, know that 577 00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:11,520 Speaker 1: God is right there with you. 578 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,880 Speaker 2: So as we wrap up this episode, if a listener 579 00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:18,800 Speaker 2: is resonating with our conversation today, what hopefield perspective do 580 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:19,840 Speaker 2: you want to leave them with. 581 00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:23,280 Speaker 1: That they are worthy and that can never be taken 582 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:25,720 Speaker 1: from them. I look at the sun and the sky 583 00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:29,000 Speaker 1: as the reminder of our worth. Even if it is cloudy, 584 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:31,720 Speaker 1: the sun is still there. So think of everything that's 585 00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:33,640 Speaker 1: happening and everything that you feel as a clouds. It's 586 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,000 Speaker 1: very real. But on the other side of that your 587 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,600 Speaker 1: worth is completely intact. You are worthy period. 588 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,680 Speaker 2: Friends. I just want to leave you with Ecclesiastes three, 589 00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:44,400 Speaker 2: verse one that says for everything there is a season 590 00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:48,200 Speaker 2: and a time for every matter under heaven. I say 591 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:52,440 Speaker 2: that because God never designed us to go full speed 592 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:56,959 Speaker 2: all the time, and recognizing the rhythm of the seasons 593 00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:02,360 Speaker 2: frees us to honor time of work and time of rest. Porscha, 594 00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:06,560 Speaker 2: thank you for sharing vulnerably about what you've walked through 595 00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:09,840 Speaker 2: to come to the place that you could write your book, Hustle, 596 00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:11,960 Speaker 2: flow or let it go. And friends, we're going to 597 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,000 Speaker 2: put all the information about doctor Porsche and her book 598 00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:17,560 Speaker 2: and her ministry in the show notes that you can 599 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:20,680 Speaker 2: find at doctor michelleb dot com. Friends, I really hope 600 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:25,080 Speaker 2: that there was something in today's episode that encouraged your heart, 601 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:28,400 Speaker 2: gave you pause to think and consider about your own life, 602 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:31,800 Speaker 2: encouraged you, or motivated you. If you know someone else 603 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:35,440 Speaker 2: who would benefit from this conversation. You don't have to 604 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,760 Speaker 2: be in a place of burnout to take the suggestions 605 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:41,760 Speaker 2: and the input and wisdom that doctor Porsche offered us 606 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:45,000 Speaker 2: today to put it into practice, because our hope for 607 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:48,880 Speaker 2: you is that hearing the vulnerability we've both shared today 608 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:50,760 Speaker 2: is that you don't have to get to a place 609 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:54,600 Speaker 2: of burnout before you start making a change to live 610 00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:58,400 Speaker 2: in sustainable wellness. So consider sharing this episode within to 611 00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:01,840 Speaker 2: give them a biblically based hope filled perspective. It's been 612 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:03,760 Speaker 2: a delight to be with you again this week, and 613 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:07,640 Speaker 2: I look forward to our time for another conversation next week. 614 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:10,400 Speaker 2: In the meantime, you know, it's my prayer for you 615 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,280 Speaker 2: that you have a hope filled week. 616 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:23,240 Speaker 3: Everyone experiences pain at times. It can manifest physically, emotionally, relationally, 617 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:29,440 Speaker 3: or spiritually. It can follow tragic accidents, great loss, sudden betrayal, 618 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:35,400 Speaker 3: or unexpected and unwanted change. Often pain is temporary, but 619 00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,600 Speaker 3: what do you do when it isn't? When pain won't 620 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:42,760 Speaker 3: go away, healing does not come, and grief and hurt 621 00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:47,000 Speaker 3: settle in to stay. Drawing on her experience of chronic 622 00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:51,479 Speaker 3: pain in her years as a board certified clinical neuropsychologist, 623 00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:56,960 Speaker 3: doctor Michelle Bankson provides a countercultural perspective on pain, offering 624 00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:02,960 Speaker 3: hope without any false promises or aplatitudes. Doctor Benkson unwraps 625 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:07,160 Speaker 3: the complex emotional aspects of dealing with pain. She gives 626 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:11,200 Speaker 3: you permission to question God, helps you identify the lies 627 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:15,360 Speaker 3: you've believed about your pain, and reorients your perspective based 628 00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:19,120 Speaker 3: on the truth of God's word. Each chapter ends with 629 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:24,440 Speaker 3: a recommended playlist, reflection questions, and a prayer. Your pain 630 00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:29,040 Speaker 3: may not change, but your experience with it can. Doctor 631 00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:34,840 Speaker 3: Sondra Dalton Smith, physician, best selling author and a host 632 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:38,960 Speaker 3: of the I Choose My Best Life podcast, had this 633 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:42,640 Speaker 3: to say about the Hem of His Garment. Doctor Michelle 634 00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:46,240 Speaker 3: Benkson is honest and transparent, and she gives the reader 635 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:50,080 Speaker 3: permission to ask hard questions and practical guidance on how 636 00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:53,280 Speaker 3: to seek God during times when you feel the most wounded. 637 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:58,280 Speaker 3: A beautiful gift for every person living with pain. Holy Girth, 638 00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:02,800 Speaker 3: best selling author of What Your Mind Needs for Anxious Moments, 639 00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:07,560 Speaker 3: says pain is inevitable, but enduring it alone is optional. 640 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,719 Speaker 3: Doctor Michelle Bankson is a voice of hope who will 641 00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:14,000 Speaker 3: speak into your struggles, at helping hand who will point 642 00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:17,520 Speaker 3: you to Jesus, and a wise guide who will lead 643 00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:21,920 Speaker 3: you through what you're facing so you can embrace more 644 00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:25,560 Speaker 3: of what our good God has for you. Pick up 645 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:28,759 Speaker 3: a copy of the Hem of His Garment for you 646 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,960 Speaker 3: and a friend wherever books are sold. 647 00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:39,400 Speaker 4: Thank you for joining doctor Bankson for your hope build perspective. 648 00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:44,000 Speaker 4: We hope you are encouraged by her authenticity, vulnerability, and 649 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:47,879 Speaker 4: biblical truths. If you enjoy today's conversation, when you take 650 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:51,279 Speaker 4: a moment right now, open up your podcast app and 651 00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:54,040 Speaker 4: look for the subscribe button right next to our podcast 652 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:57,840 Speaker 4: profile image. We think this podcast is best enjoyed with friends, 653 00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:01,120 Speaker 4: so tell a friend and click share podcast app and 654 00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:04,080 Speaker 4: send a friend or link to share hope with them. 655 00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,120 Speaker 4: If you have a comment, question, or suggest a topic 656 00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,839 Speaker 4: for a future show, reach out to our staff at 657 00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:14,400 Speaker 4: info at Hope Prevails dot org for additional resources. Information 658 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:18,520 Speaker 4: about doctor Bankson's books where free downloads, or to contact 659 00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:21,800 Speaker 4: her to speak at your next event, please visit doctor 660 00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:25,520 Speaker 4: Mishelbe dot com. Until next time, May you have a 661 00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:27,080 Speaker 4: hope filledweek. 662 00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:32,520 Speaker 2: I'd like to take just a second to thank the 663 00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:35,520 Speaker 2: team at Life Audio for their partnership with us on 664 00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:38,520 Speaker 2: this podcast. If you go to lifeaudio dot com, you'll 665 00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:42,240 Speaker 2: find dozens of other faith centered podcasts in their network. 666 00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:46,120 Speaker 2: They've got shows about prayer, Bible study, parenting, and more.