1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:03,640 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:09,039 --> 00:00:11,520 Speaker 2: You are listening to The Becket Cook Show with your 3 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:16,239 Speaker 2: host Beckett Cook. For more information about Beckett and his ministry, 4 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:21,239 Speaker 2: visit his website at Becketcook dot com. To help support 5 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:26,759 Speaker 2: the podcast, visit Patreon dot com slash the Becky Cook Show. 6 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 2: Please consider subscribing to the podcast and leaving a five 7 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:31,000 Speaker 2: star rating. 8 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 1: Hey guys, welcome to the show today. I have a 9 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 1: very special guest, Tia Arshad, and she has an amazing 10 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:49,920 Speaker 1: story of God rescuing her out of a life of lesbianism. 11 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,120 Speaker 1: And she was born in Libya, she was raised in 12 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 1: Pakistan and she moved to the UK when she was thirteen. 13 00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:00,600 Speaker 1: I'm excited to hear her story. It's remarkable. First award 14 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 1: from our sponsor. Please welcome Tia our shop. 15 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:08,480 Speaker 3: Thank you, Becket, so good to have you on. 16 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:14,520 Speaker 1: I am excited to hear your story. You are in England, 17 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,760 Speaker 1: You're in the UK right now. It's very late for you, 18 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:19,840 Speaker 1: I think, so. 19 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,120 Speaker 3: Let's start about eight pm. 20 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:29,160 Speaker 1: It's apm okay, So let's start with your childhood. You 21 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:32,959 Speaker 1: were born in Libya and were you born into what? 22 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:35,679 Speaker 1: Were you born into a Muslim family or a Christian family? 23 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: What was the deal? 24 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:42,400 Speaker 3: Well, my grandfather and his family they were Muslims, so 25 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,560 Speaker 3: before I was born there they converted. So I was 26 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 3: born into a Christian family. 27 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:51,800 Speaker 1: Wow, okay, and so and then why did you move 28 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 1: from Libya to Pakistan? 29 00:01:54,960 --> 00:02:00,480 Speaker 3: Well, I my mom was very sick and I was 30 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 3: quite young, and I had a younger sister, so my 31 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 3: my mom was not able to take care of me 32 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:09,520 Speaker 3: and my sister. So my father and my mother decided 33 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,720 Speaker 3: to take me to Pakistan where they will put me 34 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,800 Speaker 3: in a boarding school and you know, I'll be taken 35 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 3: care of. So without my consent, as I was very young, 36 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:26,160 Speaker 3: I was overnight kind of moved to Pakistan and I 37 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:30,799 Speaker 3: just woke up in a dormitory with other kids, other girls. 38 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:35,400 Speaker 3: So I still never asked my father completely about what, 39 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 3: why and how did they choose just to you know, 40 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:40,639 Speaker 3: leave me in a new country? 41 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:45,080 Speaker 1: Wow? And did you did you like Pakistan or was 42 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:48,720 Speaker 1: it like bizarre for you? What was it like? Are 43 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 1: you in Karachi? 44 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:54,440 Speaker 3: I was in actually Murray, which is just past Islamabad. 45 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 3: There was a it was a big boarding school of 46 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:04,200 Speaker 3: different ages, predominantly a Christian boarding school. So it was 47 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 3: scary because when I woke up, I had no parents, 48 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:12,600 Speaker 3: my sister wasn't there. I didn't know who to ask questions. 49 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:15,440 Speaker 3: I didn't know what happened. But I had some kind 50 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,520 Speaker 3: teachers and the principal was really nice, so they were 51 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:21,120 Speaker 3: trying to kind of, you know, ease me into it, 52 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:25,840 Speaker 3: and I just never asked anything from anyone. And my 53 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:30,680 Speaker 3: grandparents they lived about I think about seven hours away 54 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:35,720 Speaker 3: from that place, so the parents were only allowed to 55 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 3: visit you probably once a month. So I only had 56 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 3: that kind of a privilege where my grandparents, like especially 57 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,480 Speaker 3: my grandma and my uncle would come and see me 58 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,200 Speaker 3: once a month. 59 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 1: And you said that your mother died when you were 60 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,120 Speaker 1: nine years old. How did she die? If you don't 61 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 1: mind me asking, Yeah. 62 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:59,680 Speaker 3: I'm sure she as far as I remember my dad 63 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:03,000 Speaker 3: telling me that she had only one kidney, and she 64 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 3: never told anybody that she had one kidney. I think 65 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 3: before she got married she had one, and then the 66 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 3: second kidney started to fail. So it was very difficult 67 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,200 Speaker 3: for my mom to work take care of both of us. 68 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:19,919 Speaker 3: My father was in a different city in Libya, so 69 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 3: he wasn't there full time to take care of us, 70 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,359 Speaker 3: so my mom had to kind of take all that 71 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:31,360 Speaker 3: pressure and when the second kidney was, you know, beginning 72 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 3: to deteriorate, that's when they decided that they will take 73 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:36,320 Speaker 3: that action and leave me. 74 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:41,440 Speaker 1: Obviously, that experience affected you very dramatically. 75 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:46,600 Speaker 3: Right, absolutely. Yeah. I mean it's only recently that I'm 76 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 3: beginning to realize the impact it had on me as 77 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 3: a child when I grew up, some of the attachment 78 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,359 Speaker 3: issues I had, some of the traumas I experienced of 79 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:06,040 Speaker 3: just feeling rejected and just feeling abandoned really because it 80 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 3: was all of a sudden. You know, they didn't prepare 81 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:10,719 Speaker 3: me for it, and even if they probably did, I wasn't. 82 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,720 Speaker 3: I was very young to understand all of this. 83 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:20,600 Speaker 1: Wow, and so okay, then you experienced sexual and physical 84 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:23,600 Speaker 1: abuse by a close family member. How old were you 85 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:24,400 Speaker 1: when this happened? 86 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:30,880 Speaker 3: So I was about eight nine years old, similar time 87 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 3: to when my mom passed away. She came to visit 88 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:40,040 Speaker 3: me from Libya, and that was the second time I 89 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,840 Speaker 3: saw her after I came to Pakistan, after they dropped 90 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 3: me to the boarding school, and the second time when 91 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 3: she came, I realized that she wasn't walking anymore, and 92 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,039 Speaker 3: you know, they were helping her to move her on 93 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:57,040 Speaker 3: the bed and that same night she went into Cooma 94 00:05:57,120 --> 00:06:01,160 Speaker 3: and she never woke up. And it was around that 95 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:06,640 Speaker 3: time when I think, just maybe five six months later 96 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:12,800 Speaker 3: than that, when one of my uncles started to do 97 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:16,000 Speaker 3: things to me when I was about nine years old 98 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:21,880 Speaker 3: at that time, and I was I didn't know who 99 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 3: to speak to about this. I tried to confide in 100 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:29,120 Speaker 3: my grandma, but it backfired on me and she didn't 101 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:32,040 Speaker 3: believe me. In fact, she started beating me and told 102 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 3: me to be quiet and never speak about it. And yeah, 103 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,120 Speaker 3: so I just I didn't know what to do with that. 104 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:42,560 Speaker 1: And how long did this go on? 105 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:51,120 Speaker 3: I think good couple of years. My uncle was kind 106 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,760 Speaker 3: of going through a separation himself. He was married, but 107 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:57,320 Speaker 3: his wife was in a different city, and I think 108 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:03,120 Speaker 3: for maybe maybe just just just over a year, almost 109 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:06,160 Speaker 3: two years, when he reconciled back with his wife, then 110 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,239 Speaker 3: he moved out and that's when it all stopped. 111 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:10,360 Speaker 1: Is he still alive? 112 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 3: Yeah? He is. 113 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 1: Wow. And have you talked to him about this as 114 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,520 Speaker 1: an adult personally? 115 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,640 Speaker 3: No, I haven't. But the same thing happened to my sister. 116 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:25,400 Speaker 3: He did the same thing to her, and it's only 117 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:28,679 Speaker 3: recently that she texted me to say that she told 118 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 3: his wife about all of this because she couldn't take 119 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 3: it anymore. It was too much to carry. So I'm 120 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 3: not sure if his wife had spoken to him or 121 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 3: not about this. 122 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:45,680 Speaker 1: So yeah, wow, And then so obviously this led Did 123 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 1: this lead to you? Because you say you hated God? 124 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 1: You knew God was real, but you hated him, So 125 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:56,600 Speaker 1: was this kind of a result of that? 126 00:07:56,600 --> 00:08:00,119 Speaker 3: That was one of the reasons. The other reason was 127 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 3: the environment that we were being raised felt very kind 128 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:14,280 Speaker 3: of conflicting within myself because my granddad was a pastor 129 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:19,080 Speaker 3: and my uncle, same uncle was leading worship. So inside 130 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 3: that house we had our own church. We had people 131 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,120 Speaker 3: coming there and every time they would preach and they 132 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:27,400 Speaker 3: would treat people so differently and so nicely. But as 133 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,040 Speaker 3: soon as the church is over, they're just different people. 134 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 2: You know. 135 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,840 Speaker 3: My grandma had some serious anger issues, and just out 136 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:37,679 Speaker 3: of nowhere, she would just it's just a small mistake, 137 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 3: or if I didn't understand her instructions on what she's 138 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,800 Speaker 3: asking me to do, she would lose her temper and 139 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:48,280 Speaker 3: she would beat us, like really badly. There were days 140 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,360 Speaker 3: when I would have a puss on my back, just 141 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:52,360 Speaker 3: behind my back. The way she would beat you with 142 00:08:52,480 --> 00:09:00,560 Speaker 3: sometimes chairs or pipes or water pipes. So everything that 143 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:04,280 Speaker 3: they were preaching about Jesus, I knew he was real. 144 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,960 Speaker 3: I knew there was something about him. I remember my 145 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,800 Speaker 3: mother praying as well. So I had no doubt that 146 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:14,200 Speaker 3: there is a God. But I just didn't know how 147 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,720 Speaker 3: could this kind of God allow so much to happen 148 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 3: in my life? And where was he when I needed protection? 149 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:25,360 Speaker 3: I couldn't confine in my father, I couldn't confide in 150 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:29,360 Speaker 3: anyone else. So yeah, a lot of confusion, a lot 151 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 3: of questions, a lot of pain. 152 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:36,440 Speaker 1: Really wow, And so how did you How did you 153 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:38,920 Speaker 1: know God was real at that age? I mean, did 154 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:40,960 Speaker 1: you have some sort of experience or did you just 155 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,480 Speaker 1: you were exposed to it so much that you just 156 00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:44,160 Speaker 1: believed it? 157 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:49,080 Speaker 3: What I was not just exposed. I was also witnessing 158 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,559 Speaker 3: some of the exorcism that was taking place in the house. 159 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:57,720 Speaker 3: I saw some weird stuff happening, like supernatural, like bloods, 160 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 3: and I would often have dreams of Jesus walking with me. 161 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:04,640 Speaker 3: So I've kind of had that kind of connection with 162 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 3: him that he's real, but I just didn't connect the dots. 163 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:11,800 Speaker 3: How can he be real? And yet not be there 164 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 3: for me in that sense. 165 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 1: We'll be right back after this short break. Wait, so 166 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:21,480 Speaker 1: you you just mentioned the exorses of you have any 167 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 1: to that? Okay, So it's say about these exorcies of 168 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:26,280 Speaker 1: or what was going on. 169 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,480 Speaker 3: My granddad was kind of known for these things in 170 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 3: that area, and we had a lot of Muslims coming 171 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:37,400 Speaker 3: to my grandfather for that kind of healing. So you 172 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 3: would see when people were being delivered, you would see 173 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:44,439 Speaker 3: their voices changed, something happening to them, and they would 174 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:47,679 Speaker 3: throw up or some kind of stuff coming out of 175 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:51,120 Speaker 3: their mouths. So you knew that that, you know, the 176 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:54,000 Speaker 3: demons are real, and if demons are real, then God 177 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 3: is real and it's just everything. 178 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 1: But also what about Christianity in Pakistan? Was mean? Was 179 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,360 Speaker 1: it legal? Was it frowned upon? 180 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 3: Like? 181 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:05,839 Speaker 1: What was it? I mean that must have been a 182 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,520 Speaker 1: difficult place to be as a. 183 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:11,520 Speaker 3: Christian m Yeah, I mean we did not. Well. We 184 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:15,560 Speaker 3: had all the privileges, the normal basic ones where you 185 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:19,080 Speaker 3: could go to school and buy things and everything, but 186 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:24,480 Speaker 3: then there had been incidents where some young Muslim people, 187 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 3: kids especially, they know that you're Christian and they would 188 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:31,280 Speaker 3: sometimes throw things at you, calling you Christian kind of 189 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,200 Speaker 3: weird names, and you knew it was because of your belief, 190 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:38,720 Speaker 3: because our church, our house was had across and people 191 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,839 Speaker 3: knew this was a Christian house. Even though we were 192 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,880 Speaker 3: not kind of attacked in that way. We had that 193 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 3: kind of freedom where you could worship and pray and everything. 194 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:53,360 Speaker 3: Somewhere here and there some kids would really just bully 195 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,480 Speaker 3: you because you were a Christian. But other than that, no, 196 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,559 Speaker 3: we didn't have any problems in those days. 197 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:03,600 Speaker 1: In Pakist stand today, is it easy to be a Christian? 198 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:06,000 Speaker 1: Or is it? Are you persecuted for being a Christian? 199 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:10,959 Speaker 3: There there have been kind of waves of persecutions on Christians, 200 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:14,199 Speaker 3: but then there has been times where things have been 201 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:19,440 Speaker 3: very stable, I think, just small incidents here and there 202 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:23,680 Speaker 3: where there have been blasphemy cases where Christians have been persecuted, 203 00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 3: their churches have been burnt. But then there's peace again. 204 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:30,280 Speaker 3: The government actually calms everything down, and then we've given 205 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 3: back the freedom again. So it's kind of on and off, 206 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:37,360 Speaker 3: on and off. It's like you're very careful what you say. 207 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:41,400 Speaker 3: You don't really expose yourself as a Christian. I know 208 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:45,040 Speaker 3: in my days we were not really we didn't have 209 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 3: that many problems in those days, but we wouldn't wear 210 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,960 Speaker 3: crosses like the chain like this, you know, just to 211 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,559 Speaker 3: be careful. You don't want to be discriminated in any sense. 212 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:57,880 Speaker 3: But now I haven't been to Pakistan in a long time, 213 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 3: but my family's still there and I mean they're still 214 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:04,840 Speaker 3: doing okay. But there have been very stressful time when 215 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,160 Speaker 3: the things escalate, but at the moment it's been all right. 216 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. And then so how did you end up in 217 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:10,440 Speaker 1: the UK. 218 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:15,160 Speaker 3: So when my mom passed away, one of my uncle 219 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:18,640 Speaker 3: was already in the UK and he suggested to my 220 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,000 Speaker 3: dad that it's no one going back to Libya, so 221 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,880 Speaker 3: it's better if you come here and start a business 222 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,240 Speaker 3: or something, you know, settle down. So I think my 223 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:29,199 Speaker 3: dad took that on board, and just a week after 224 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:32,000 Speaker 3: my mom passed away, he went back to Libya, packed 225 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:36,360 Speaker 3: everything up and applied to come to the UK and 226 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:39,599 Speaker 3: he was accepted. So he moved everything and started a 227 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:44,880 Speaker 3: business in the UK. And I think about a few 228 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:49,320 Speaker 3: years we had to still wait with our grandparents and 229 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:53,199 Speaker 3: then my father eventually when he got the settlement here, 230 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:54,840 Speaker 3: then he called us over. 231 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,079 Speaker 1: And so you go from Libya to Pakistan to the 232 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,040 Speaker 1: utility to the UK. To the UK. What was that 233 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,880 Speaker 1: like getting to the UK? 234 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:12,000 Speaker 3: Okay, So I was kind of really desperate to be 235 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:16,120 Speaker 3: with my father because I felt really rejected some of 236 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:17,960 Speaker 3: the things that your grandma would say when she was 237 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,720 Speaker 3: angry at you, stuff like, oh, you're I'm not going 238 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,160 Speaker 3: to use the word because it's a very derogatory word. 239 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:29,080 Speaker 3: That your mom has died and she left you horrible. 240 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:31,040 Speaker 3: I'm not going to say the word again. But people 241 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 3: for me to take care of you. So in that moment, 242 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 3: you felt like the only hope you have is your father, 243 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 3: and we were just desperate to see him and be 244 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:47,800 Speaker 3: with him. And the fact that every time we'd write 245 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,280 Speaker 3: a letter to our dad, they would read it and 246 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,960 Speaker 3: make sure that we're not telling what's happening here in 247 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:58,080 Speaker 3: Pakistan with us. So it was very difficult to communicate 248 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:01,360 Speaker 3: with our dad. But also when I was leaving, I 249 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:05,840 Speaker 3: was very relieved. It was like a hope that finally 250 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,840 Speaker 3: I will not be beaten, I will not be abused, 251 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:11,960 Speaker 3: we will have freedom. That was one of the main 252 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,480 Speaker 3: things that I was looking forward to coming to England 253 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:15,440 Speaker 3: and being with my father. 254 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,920 Speaker 1: Wow. And so did you like it when you first 255 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,560 Speaker 1: arrived in England. Did you like her? 256 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:31,080 Speaker 3: Yeah? It was nice and clean and different, very cold. Yeah. 257 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,280 Speaker 3: I remember my dad introducing us to a woman that 258 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,360 Speaker 3: he was dating at that time, and he said that 259 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 3: he wants to get married to her and he's been 260 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,600 Speaker 3: waiting for us to come so we can be part 261 00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:46,240 Speaker 3: of the wedding. Really, so they were living together at 262 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:49,680 Speaker 3: that time, so we had no choice but to accept her. 263 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:54,080 Speaker 3: In the beginning, she was really nice. She took care 264 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,720 Speaker 3: of you. She took his shopping to buy clothes and 265 00:15:56,760 --> 00:16:00,240 Speaker 3: stuff like that. I really liked the pizza here for 266 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 3: the first time I was having pizza, So yeah, it 267 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,040 Speaker 3: was it was good. Initially it was really good. 268 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:11,640 Speaker 1: Yeah. But then you you say that at what age 269 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 1: were you started to feel attraction towards women, And you said, 270 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,160 Speaker 1: you know it was it started with your one of 271 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:22,880 Speaker 1: your teachers. When when did this Did this happen in Pakistan? 272 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:28,960 Speaker 3: Yes, it started happening again. It started happening around that 273 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:33,480 Speaker 3: time when I was probably ten. So one of the teachers, 274 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:37,800 Speaker 3: she would really help you with your homework and you know, 275 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:41,440 Speaker 3: always check up on you. I felt that this is 276 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 3: the only person who actually cares about me, who really 277 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:49,000 Speaker 3: loves me. And then I remember like, after a few months, 278 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:50,760 Speaker 3: I didn't know she was going to get married, and 279 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:55,280 Speaker 3: she got married, and she came to visit our visitors 280 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:58,800 Speaker 3: because she knew my family in Pakistan, And for some reason, 281 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:01,920 Speaker 3: I was standing in the door as they're sitting having tea, 282 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:03,760 Speaker 3: and she was telling me to come and say hi 283 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,639 Speaker 3: to her, and I was like, I was so angry 284 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 3: at hers, Like why am I so mad at her? Like? 285 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,159 Speaker 3: Why did she get married? Why did she leave me? 286 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:16,920 Speaker 3: Those are my first feelings about feeling betrayed or feeling 287 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 3: kind of that this person who loved me is now 288 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,359 Speaker 3: married to a man. And I didn't know anything about 289 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,800 Speaker 3: my sexuality at that time, but I remember that I 290 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:28,639 Speaker 3: was very hurt and I didn't didn't understand why. 291 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:32,800 Speaker 1: And so was it strange for you to have those 292 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:36,920 Speaker 1: feelings of same sex attraction? And also, you know, being 293 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,680 Speaker 1: in a Christian family, was how did you how did 294 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 1: you kind of manage that in your mind? 295 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,960 Speaker 3: Well, to be honest with you, I had no idea 296 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,359 Speaker 3: what was going on with my sexuality. It was a 297 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:53,960 Speaker 3: very naive kind of attraction at that point. But there 298 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,080 Speaker 3: had been a couple of incidents where some of the 299 00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,240 Speaker 3: women who were part of a teacher training program who 300 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:04,080 Speaker 3: would come to our house. They would often stay as 301 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:09,920 Speaker 3: well some of them. One of them actually started to 302 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:14,639 Speaker 3: touch me in appropriately as well. I remember that. Again 303 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:18,760 Speaker 3: I didn't understand. But when she made me do some things, 304 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:24,560 Speaker 3: they felt natural and normal, but at the same time 305 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:28,040 Speaker 3: I still didn't understand what it was. So yeah, that 306 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,440 Speaker 3: was a very confusing period for me. I only found 307 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:35,480 Speaker 3: out about those attractions when I came to England, when 308 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,880 Speaker 3: I joined the school, when girls started talking about those things, 309 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,640 Speaker 3: and then they said, if you have those kind of feelings, 310 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,920 Speaker 3: that means you're a lesbian. And for the first time 311 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:47,360 Speaker 3: in my life, I realized, oh my god, I'm a lesbian. 312 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:52,320 Speaker 1: Wow. Okay. And then before we get into that, so 313 00:18:52,480 --> 00:19:00,679 Speaker 1: you your father, your stepmother started to become difficult within relationship 314 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:06,119 Speaker 1: with you, and then you asked your father asked you 315 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,560 Speaker 1: and your younger sister to leave the house. What was 316 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:09,560 Speaker 1: that all about. 317 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:14,159 Speaker 3: So we were having some difficult times with her, Like 318 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,159 Speaker 3: I don't really want to go into it, but it 319 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:21,520 Speaker 3: was just that she was very strict with us. And 320 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,960 Speaker 3: one of the biggest blows that I had in life 321 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,200 Speaker 3: is when I told me and my sister, when we 322 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:30,000 Speaker 3: told our father about what happened in Pakistan, how his 323 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,879 Speaker 3: brother has been treating us, how his mother has been 324 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:37,000 Speaker 3: treating us, and stuff like that, he didn't believe us. 325 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,840 Speaker 3: In fact, he said that you guys are lying to me, 326 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:42,320 Speaker 3: because if that was true, you could have told me 327 00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 3: about it. So it was very difficult to explain. So 328 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 3: me and my sister we decided that we're never going 329 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,879 Speaker 3: to speak to our dad about this again or anyone else. 330 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,919 Speaker 3: And I think we were trying to connect with our 331 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 3: stepmom be obedient as much as we could, but she 332 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:59,080 Speaker 3: was putting really hard conditions on us, like if you 333 00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:00,600 Speaker 3: want this, then you go to do this. If you 334 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:04,159 Speaker 3: do this, then you're going to have that. But regardless, 335 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,840 Speaker 3: we had no choice, so we were kind of still 336 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,879 Speaker 3: going along, honoring her as much as we could. But 337 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:12,440 Speaker 3: then my younger sister was having some trouble at school 338 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,840 Speaker 3: and my stepmom was like telling my dad that she's 339 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 3: not happy with the way we are. We are very stubborn, 340 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:23,119 Speaker 3: we're rebellious or stuff like this. And I remember one 341 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,000 Speaker 3: day coming back from school and my dad said to 342 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:29,920 Speaker 3: me that I think your step mom has had enough. 343 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 3: So I'm gonna She's asked me to choose between you 344 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,240 Speaker 3: and her, so I'm going to choose her. So I'm 345 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:37,639 Speaker 3: going to ask you guys to leave the house. 346 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:41,639 Speaker 1: Okay, how old were you when this happened? 347 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:48,880 Speaker 3: So it was after I think I was about eighteen. 348 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,160 Speaker 1: Then, yeah, so where did you go? 349 00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:56,960 Speaker 3: So my sister was doing a part time job as 350 00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:03,280 Speaker 3: admin assistant, really basic job in an estate agency, and 351 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:05,760 Speaker 3: so she spoke to them and said, I'm only doing 352 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,640 Speaker 3: like Saturday Sunday helping you out with filing, but right 353 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,960 Speaker 3: now I need help. Is it anywhere you can give 354 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,040 Speaker 3: me and my sister an empty flat? Whatever you have, 355 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:18,600 Speaker 3: and it was a favor of God. They said, actually, 356 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:21,800 Speaker 3: we do have a place. We'll speak to the landlord 357 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,480 Speaker 3: and see what they can do for you. So they 358 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:28,119 Speaker 3: called the landlord and the lady who was the owner 359 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:30,439 Speaker 3: of the house. She said, okay, I will let you 360 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:33,359 Speaker 3: guys stay here for a month. And I had to 361 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,600 Speaker 3: find a job and start paying the rent, so she 362 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,960 Speaker 3: didn't charge me. She didn't charge the rent for one 363 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 3: month and I had to look for a job, and yeah, 364 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:46,880 Speaker 3: we started working. Then I couldn't finish my studies, and 365 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,840 Speaker 3: we started paying the rent and we just took it 366 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:50,280 Speaker 3: from there. 367 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:54,760 Speaker 1: Wow. And so when did you because you said, you know, 368 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:59,119 Speaker 1: when you got to England you realized what lesbian the 369 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,480 Speaker 1: word lesbians and you realize that, you know, you were one. 370 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:06,280 Speaker 1: When did you start acting out on that and pursuing 371 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:08,400 Speaker 1: that life and going to clubs and stuff. 372 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:14,439 Speaker 3: So it was kind of still difficult for me to 373 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:19,560 Speaker 3: live it out at that time. I think I was 374 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:24,320 Speaker 3: in I was twenty two, maybe twenty yeah, about twenty 375 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,840 Speaker 3: one twenty two when I first had a relationship with 376 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:31,760 Speaker 3: another woman. That's when I fully discovered who I am 377 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:36,520 Speaker 3: and we explored everything. And in those days, I started 378 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:39,960 Speaker 3: drinking and just looking out for clubs and we I've 379 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,679 Speaker 3: found some clubs and yeah, that's when I started joining 380 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:46,560 Speaker 3: the gay clubs in my Yeah, what. 381 00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:48,000 Speaker 1: Was that like for you? I mean, did you feel 382 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,320 Speaker 1: like a sense of freedom? Like, how did you feel 383 00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 1: about that? 384 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:59,760 Speaker 3: Well, it was not just freedom, It was that you 385 00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:03,840 Speaker 3: longed here. This is your family, this is real. People 386 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:11,600 Speaker 3: were genuine, you know, they became your family, Like these 387 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:15,119 Speaker 3: people understood you. This is how I felt like, I 388 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,639 Speaker 3: really felt like, this is me, this is my community, 389 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,440 Speaker 3: this is my family. This is how it was, And 390 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:23,520 Speaker 3: I was so lucky in that sense that I had 391 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,000 Speaker 3: a few girls who became really close friends with me, 392 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:30,520 Speaker 3: and we used to hang out a lot. And because 393 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:33,439 Speaker 3: the family that you initially were with they rejected you. 394 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:36,960 Speaker 3: You've been rejected all your life, so somehow these guys 395 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:37,879 Speaker 3: were everything for me. 396 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:43,440 Speaker 1: Right And so how did you How many years did 397 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,240 Speaker 1: you live as a lesbian? 398 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:53,360 Speaker 3: Ah? Good? Eight years? Good? Eight years? 399 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,600 Speaker 1: And then how did you how did you get how 400 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,560 Speaker 1: did you get out of that life? What happened? 401 00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:06,080 Speaker 3: Well, this is the point, the turning point. I would 402 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:11,600 Speaker 3: say that God himself just showed up. My sister got saved, 403 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 3: she became born again. She moved to Canada, and she 404 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:22,680 Speaker 3: encountered God and she started praying for me. She knew 405 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:26,600 Speaker 3: my lifestyle, so without telling me, she started praying for me, 406 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:31,560 Speaker 3: fasting for me with her church leaders. And while she 407 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:35,399 Speaker 3: was praying for me in Canada, the days that she 408 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:37,679 Speaker 3: was praying and fasting for me for twenty one days, 409 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:42,879 Speaker 3: I started to have dreams, really scary dreams, like I'm 410 00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:45,040 Speaker 3: seeing the end of the world, like people are dying 411 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:50,080 Speaker 3: around me. And then I knew that the judgment is 412 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:53,639 Speaker 3: coming and the next dream would be where I'm standing 413 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,640 Speaker 3: in a line where one line is going to good 414 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,400 Speaker 3: place and the second line is going to a bad 415 00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,199 Speaker 3: place with people I knew these people are going to 416 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:04,320 Speaker 3: a bad place, and I'm in the same line, and 417 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:06,960 Speaker 3: I would I would try to sneak into the other 418 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:10,439 Speaker 3: lines to to to escape that. But every time in 419 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,440 Speaker 3: my dream, I would see there was an angel standing 420 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,639 Speaker 3: there and he would lift me up and put me 421 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:18,080 Speaker 3: back and say that you don't belong here, and that 422 00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:20,280 Speaker 3: would really freak me out and I would wake up. 423 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:26,960 Speaker 3: And in those days also I started having thoughts about 424 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:31,000 Speaker 3: committing suicide because what happened was I began to drink 425 00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:38,919 Speaker 3: very heavily every day, smoking a lot every day. It 426 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,679 Speaker 3: was like I felt a big emptiness in my heart. 427 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:44,800 Speaker 3: And then and in that time, I was still I 428 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:48,359 Speaker 3: was living with somebody in a in a long term relationship. 429 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,359 Speaker 3: I was with that person, and I still felt like 430 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:54,040 Speaker 3: something is missing in me, but I just didn't understand 431 00:25:54,080 --> 00:26:02,200 Speaker 3: what I had everything. So, yeah, I was going to 432 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:07,560 Speaker 3: commit suicide. And the day I actually decided to do that, 433 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:15,760 Speaker 3: that was in twenty seventeen, beginning of January, when I 434 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:20,960 Speaker 3: just I had a voice. Before that, I was hearing 435 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,600 Speaker 3: voices to kill myself. But that day I heard a 436 00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:27,399 Speaker 3: voice that was different, that questioned me and said to me, 437 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:32,280 Speaker 3: why don't you try God? What's stopping you? Just just this? 438 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,480 Speaker 3: And it really made sense to me because I thought 439 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,280 Speaker 3: I tried everything else. I've been hating God all my life. 440 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,760 Speaker 3: Let me just try. But I still didn't know what 441 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:47,080 Speaker 3: to do and how to try God. And that's when 442 00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:48,080 Speaker 3: things changed for me. 443 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:50,680 Speaker 1: Did you have a Bible? 444 00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:55,280 Speaker 3: Well, my aunt had given me a Bible a few 445 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:59,520 Speaker 3: years ago, actually, which I never opened. It was still 446 00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:03,560 Speaker 3: in its packaging. I never kind of read it, and 447 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:09,080 Speaker 3: I remember that day. It was a supernatural experience that 448 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,480 Speaker 3: I had. If you would like me to speak about it, 449 00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:17,560 Speaker 3: I'm happy to do that. Yeah, yes, yeah. So the 450 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:20,680 Speaker 3: day I was actually thinking to cut my wrist or 451 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:24,200 Speaker 3: take an overdose of something when I heard that voice, 452 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,360 Speaker 3: I was sitting down in the sofa and I got 453 00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:29,480 Speaker 3: up and I threw my phone on the sofa and 454 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:31,680 Speaker 3: I started crying, and I was like, if there isn't 455 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:34,360 Speaker 3: any God, just help me, because I'm done. I'm done 456 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:37,560 Speaker 3: with my life. I didn't call in Jesus, I didn't 457 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:42,240 Speaker 3: go looking for God. I was just weeping, and as 458 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:45,399 Speaker 3: I'm crying, I started to see my own life flash 459 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:47,359 Speaker 3: before my own eyes, like the things that I had 460 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:50,679 Speaker 3: done wrong in my life. It was like somebody showing 461 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:54,440 Speaker 3: me a movie. And as I'm looking at those things, 462 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:57,280 Speaker 3: I'm actually acknowledging every single thing that I've done wrong 463 00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:00,600 Speaker 3: in my life, and I'm thinking I have done those. Yes, 464 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:04,159 Speaker 3: I didn't know that I'm actually confessing and repenting. I 465 00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:07,240 Speaker 3: had no idea what I was doing. And after ten 466 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:09,679 Speaker 3: minutes of crying, I look up on my ceiling and 467 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:13,400 Speaker 3: I say, you know what, whatever God you are, I'm 468 00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:15,320 Speaker 3: not scared of you. I'm just gonna go outside and 469 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:19,720 Speaker 3: have a cigarette. And that's all I said. And then 470 00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,840 Speaker 3: I opened my eyes. And the moment I opened my eyes, 471 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:26,360 Speaker 3: I physically felt something heavy just lifted over my shoulders 472 00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:30,719 Speaker 3: and I was smiling. And I looked outside the window 473 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,399 Speaker 3: and I saw that the grass and the trees in 474 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:38,240 Speaker 3: my garden, they was so bright and green, like I 475 00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 3: never noticed that color before, like like they're alive. And 476 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:46,160 Speaker 3: I was so shocked about that, Like what just happened 477 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,160 Speaker 3: to me? Because I'm smiling. For some reason, I was smiling. 478 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:54,400 Speaker 3: I didn't know the thought of killing myself just disappeared. 479 00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:59,040 Speaker 3: And for some strange reason, I didn't go outside and smoke. 480 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:01,360 Speaker 3: I was like a chain smoker. And I want to 481 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:03,040 Speaker 3: tell you I used to smoke a lot of cigarettes 482 00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:07,240 Speaker 3: a day. I didn't smoke that day and I went 483 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:11,120 Speaker 3: I just got busy with other things. And I remember 484 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 3: that in my heart, I had this urge to find 485 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:16,760 Speaker 3: the Bible because I knew I had one and read it. 486 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:21,280 Speaker 3: And I started looking for the Bible as well. And 487 00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:25,760 Speaker 3: when I found the Bible, I started reading it from Genesis. 488 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,960 Speaker 3: I remember doing that. I just wouldn't stop reading. And 489 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,600 Speaker 3: the next morning I woke up and out of habit again, 490 00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:34,880 Speaker 3: I took a cigarette. I made a coffee and went 491 00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:38,440 Speaker 3: outside to smoke it. But when I took a first puff, 492 00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,760 Speaker 3: that smoke was stuck in my throat. It wouldn't go down, 493 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,600 Speaker 3: and I was like, what just happened? My hands were 494 00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:48,920 Speaker 3: shaking and my legs were shaking, and my heart was 495 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:51,480 Speaker 3: beating so fast. I was like, what just happened to 496 00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:54,320 Speaker 3: this cigarette? And I just chucked it away and I 497 00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,760 Speaker 3: went back inside and I started reading the Bible again. 498 00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:00,959 Speaker 3: And when I was reading the Bible, I felt like 499 00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:03,680 Speaker 3: the words are alive and they were just jumping out 500 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:08,640 Speaker 3: of the book. And as I'm reading Exodus and Numbers 501 00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:12,520 Speaker 3: and all of these things, you know, that's like after 502 00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,200 Speaker 3: all of this, every single day I started reading the 503 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:17,720 Speaker 3: Word of God and I was weeping and crying. I 504 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:21,760 Speaker 3: was like, this, God really loves me. I fell in 505 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:24,160 Speaker 3: love with God. And from the Old Testament I didn't 506 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,520 Speaker 3: even go in the New Testament yet I fell in 507 00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:31,360 Speaker 3: love with God already. So again, the second day, I 508 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:33,760 Speaker 3: went to have a cigarette again. I haven't finished this 509 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:35,520 Speaker 3: is the later part that I just shared with you. 510 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:37,360 Speaker 3: But the second day, when I went to have a 511 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:40,800 Speaker 3: cigarette again, the same thing happened. The smoke couldn't go 512 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:46,040 Speaker 3: past my mouth into my lungs, and I threw the 513 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:49,320 Speaker 3: cigarette away again. And the next thing I know, I 514 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:52,760 Speaker 3: put that packet away. I'm like, that's weird, and I 515 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:54,480 Speaker 3: just don't want to have the feeling again, So I 516 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:57,920 Speaker 3: put that packet away. And it's been nearly eight years 517 00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:00,600 Speaker 3: now that I haven't smoked, and I hate the smell cigarette. 518 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,480 Speaker 3: So afterwards, like when I started reading the Word of 519 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:07,640 Speaker 3: God every single day, and as I'm reading it, I 520 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,920 Speaker 3: just realized how much God really loves me. And I 521 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:15,000 Speaker 3: finished it all the way from Genesis to Revelation and 522 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:16,920 Speaker 3: there was no turning back. 523 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:21,719 Speaker 1: Wow, So, how did that affect your sexuality and how 524 00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:24,960 Speaker 1: did it affect your relationships with women? What happened? 525 00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:29,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, So the person I was living with at the time, 526 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:34,640 Speaker 3: I just told her that I don't think what we're 527 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:38,240 Speaker 3: doing is right. I just once we were intimate and 528 00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:42,240 Speaker 3: I just felt physically sickly. I wanted to throw up, 529 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:46,200 Speaker 3: and I sat up and I told her, I said, 530 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:48,840 Speaker 3: I can't continue like this. I can't be in a 531 00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:52,600 Speaker 3: relationship because what just happened. It doesn't feel right to me. 532 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:57,320 Speaker 3: And I think she started to question as well, like 533 00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:00,440 Speaker 3: why I'm saying these things, And I remember I started 534 00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:02,880 Speaker 3: praying for her, and I said, God, I know what 535 00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,920 Speaker 3: it's like to feel rejected when you know somebody that 536 00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,040 Speaker 3: you've known for some time and you wanted to settle 537 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:11,280 Speaker 3: down with them. So I was saying, God, if you've 538 00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:14,320 Speaker 3: saved me, I want you to save her. I was 539 00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,160 Speaker 3: kind of challenging God like Moses, like if you're not 540 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,600 Speaker 3: gonna do this, then I don't want to. I don't 541 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:25,440 Speaker 3: want to something like this. And then what happened was 542 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:28,520 Speaker 3: she became really angry, and she wanted to find out 543 00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:30,280 Speaker 3: who is it that came between us? And she wanted 544 00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:32,520 Speaker 3: to know who Jesus is because she did not come 545 00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:36,320 Speaker 3: from a Christian background. And she started reading the Word 546 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:41,000 Speaker 3: of God and she got convicted as well because she 547 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,080 Speaker 3: thought that she was born this way and I thought 548 00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 3: I was born this way. And we both got baptized together. 549 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:52,680 Speaker 1: Oh amazing. I didn't know that. That's amazing, Praise God. 550 00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:54,560 Speaker 1: And so are you still friends? 551 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:56,520 Speaker 3: Best friends? 552 00:32:56,880 --> 00:33:01,360 Speaker 1: And how what about your your father and your stepmother 553 00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:04,479 Speaker 1: and other family members have they do they know about 554 00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:08,000 Speaker 1: you're that you're a Christian now? And like what how 555 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:08,840 Speaker 1: have they reacted? 556 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:14,680 Speaker 3: Uh? Yeah, I mean I didn't share this bit with you. 557 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:16,920 Speaker 3: But my father is a Jehovah's Witness. 558 00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:23,280 Speaker 1: Wow, so oh, so what was here Jehovah's witness? Did 559 00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:24,120 Speaker 1: you grow up in that? 560 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:25,360 Speaker 2: No? 561 00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:28,520 Speaker 3: So he became a Jehovah's witnesses after he got married, 562 00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,920 Speaker 3: and they while we were still living with them, Me 563 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,920 Speaker 3: and my sister and the whole family got about baptized 564 00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,880 Speaker 3: as a Jehovah's witness as well, and we used to 565 00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,120 Speaker 3: go door to door as well, even though we didn't 566 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:47,560 Speaker 3: understand anything. So somehow me and my sister kind of 567 00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:52,160 Speaker 3: felt something was not right with this religion. One of 568 00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:56,600 Speaker 3: the reasons also that my father chose the stepmother over 569 00:33:56,720 --> 00:34:01,600 Speaker 3: us was because we were not kind of fully embracing 570 00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:06,680 Speaker 3: the JW teachings. So he didn't like that as well. 571 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:09,560 Speaker 3: These are the things that we were rebellious in. That's 572 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:12,600 Speaker 3: what I was trying to say to you. Although we 573 00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:15,719 Speaker 3: got Baptists Jehovah's Witnesses, but then we got this fellowship 574 00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:19,480 Speaker 3: from the congregation. So when we got this fellowship, that's 575 00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:21,160 Speaker 3: when my dad said that, you know, you guys need 576 00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:24,359 Speaker 3: to leave. And you know, I don't know how much 577 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:26,279 Speaker 3: you know about the Jehoah's Witnesses, but they shun you. 578 00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:29,040 Speaker 3: They don't want the families to speak to you once 579 00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:34,240 Speaker 3: you are not part of that group. So my father 580 00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:38,520 Speaker 3: found out that I'm no longer living that lifestyle because 581 00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:42,959 Speaker 3: he knew about He found out about me that I'm gay, 582 00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:49,160 Speaker 3: and then he still didn't believe that I've changed. He 583 00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,359 Speaker 3: didn't want to know anything about Jesus. He didn't want 584 00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:53,759 Speaker 3: to know anything about my life. The only thing he 585 00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:56,040 Speaker 3: kept saying is I will only accept you back and 586 00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:59,200 Speaker 3: love you. If you come back to Jehovah's Witnesses and 587 00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:02,640 Speaker 3: you apologize in the Kingdom hall, speak to the elders, 588 00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:05,239 Speaker 3: that's when you'll be reinstated. And that's when I will 589 00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:09,440 Speaker 3: have a relationship with you. Well, I had a choice, 590 00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:12,920 Speaker 3: but I chose Jesus, even though I missed my dad 591 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:16,400 Speaker 3: and I wish we had a relationship, but sadly I don't. 592 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:22,960 Speaker 1: Wow. And just for people who don't know Jehovah's Witnesses, 593 00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:24,920 Speaker 1: what do they believe about Jesus. 594 00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:32,400 Speaker 3: Oh? So they believe that Jesus is the archangel Michael. 595 00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:37,320 Speaker 3: They believe that the Holy Spirit is not a person, 596 00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:42,360 Speaker 3: he's an active force. They believe that only one hundred 597 00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:46,400 Speaker 3: and forty four thousand people will go to Heaven. The 598 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:51,759 Speaker 3: most shocking thing that I found was during the Memorial 599 00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:56,080 Speaker 3: service when you're observing the Last Supper where the wine 600 00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:59,440 Speaker 3: and the bread, nobody would partake in that. It was 601 00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:04,279 Speaker 3: just past before you, so nobody would nobody would have that. 602 00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:06,840 Speaker 3: And I remember growing up when I was in Pakistan, 603 00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:09,000 Speaker 3: every time they would break bread, everybody would you know, 604 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:12,920 Speaker 3: have that wine and bread. But not in Jeova's Witnesses, 605 00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:14,799 Speaker 3: they say only those who are going to have one 606 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,880 Speaker 3: hundred and forty four thousand only they can have the 607 00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:18,560 Speaker 3: bread and wine. 608 00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:24,280 Speaker 1: So yeah, wow, and but and also so Jehovah's witnesses 609 00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:28,360 Speaker 1: don't believe that Jesus. They believe that Jesus was created. 610 00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:30,040 Speaker 1: He's not eternal, right. 611 00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:36,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, they, I mean they changed the word 612 00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:39,840 Speaker 3: of God into something that they want to preach on. 613 00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:43,040 Speaker 3: For example, in Book of John the first chapter when 614 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,560 Speaker 3: says in the beginning was the word, and the word 615 00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:48,120 Speaker 3: was with God, and the word was God. They put 616 00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:51,440 Speaker 3: down and the word was a God. It's like they divided, 617 00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:56,440 Speaker 3: they separated the actual God God. So yeah, it's it's crazy. 618 00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:59,920 Speaker 1: So it's a it's obviously a false religion. So please, 619 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,480 Speaker 1: if you're Jehovah's what does it you're watching, please repent 620 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:06,920 Speaker 1: of that and come to Christ, who is God and eternal. 621 00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:11,680 Speaker 1: So you mentioned that that you had a bad experience 622 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:17,040 Speaker 1: with the church being EXLGBT whatever, So tell us about 623 00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:19,640 Speaker 1: that experience and what was what was that like? 624 00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:24,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, So, I mean the when we got born again, 625 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:27,640 Speaker 3: the next thing was to join a church and get baptized. 626 00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:33,400 Speaker 3: And so me and my my friend who was my 627 00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:38,120 Speaker 3: ex we decided to join our local church, and we 628 00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:40,680 Speaker 3: told the pastor like, we would like to get baptized, 629 00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:43,200 Speaker 3: and the pastor was like, okay, let's hear it. How 630 00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:44,840 Speaker 3: did you come to know the Lord? And you know 631 00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:46,680 Speaker 3: how they sit down with you and have a little 632 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:51,800 Speaker 3: conversation with the elders. So in that conversation, we actually 633 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:54,360 Speaker 3: told them that this is our lifestyle. We just know, 634 00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:56,640 Speaker 3: we had an encounter and we realized that this is 635 00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,799 Speaker 3: not who we are. We're not born this way, and 636 00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:03,879 Speaker 3: you know, we wanted to kind of leave that. We 637 00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:06,239 Speaker 3: were fairly new. We didn't know words like convictions and 638 00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:08,840 Speaker 3: stuff like that. Born again, We had no idea about 639 00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:13,359 Speaker 3: those things. So the pastor said, oh that's great. He said, okay, 640 00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:16,759 Speaker 3: if you guys shared your testimony before we baptized you 641 00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:18,680 Speaker 3: with the church. It was like yeah, sure. So we 642 00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:24,200 Speaker 3: were excited about that. So when we initially joined that church, 643 00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:27,040 Speaker 3: when you go into that church, people would welcome you. 644 00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:29,120 Speaker 3: The ladies would hug you and you know, give you 645 00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:32,960 Speaker 3: a quick kiss on the on your cheeks, you know, 646 00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:36,399 Speaker 3: even their daughters would say hi and everything. The day 647 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:38,600 Speaker 3: we shared our testimony and how God took us out 648 00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:43,160 Speaker 3: of this lifestyle, we noticed that the women completely changed. 649 00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:45,719 Speaker 3: They wouldn't sit next to you, they didn't want their 650 00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:49,879 Speaker 3: daughters to be next to us as well. And when 651 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:54,319 Speaker 3: I saw that, I was heartbroken, and I went home 652 00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:58,000 Speaker 3: and I was crying that Sunday, and first thing I 653 00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:00,440 Speaker 3: said to God is God, if this is your Christianity, 654 00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:03,040 Speaker 3: I don't want it. And as I'm crying, I heard 655 00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,520 Speaker 3: the knock on the door and the pastor came and 656 00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:08,400 Speaker 3: she actually bought two other pastors with her and she 657 00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:10,480 Speaker 3: sat down with me, and I remember that she wept 658 00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:14,200 Speaker 3: with me as well, and because she's noticed that, she said, 659 00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:17,160 Speaker 3: I'm really sorry that you experienced this, but I want 660 00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:20,719 Speaker 3: you to remember something. People will always let you down. 661 00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:23,680 Speaker 3: But Jesus, this is why he said, follow me, and 662 00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:26,920 Speaker 3: he will not let you down. So at that moment, 663 00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:29,520 Speaker 3: it felt comforting that that's true because I read it. 664 00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:32,960 Speaker 3: Jesus said follow me. The people are going to be different. 665 00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:35,640 Speaker 3: So I decided, I don't care what people say about me. 666 00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:38,160 Speaker 3: I know what God has done in my life and 667 00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:40,960 Speaker 3: I'm still going to testify about this. So from then 668 00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:45,560 Speaker 3: then that day onwards, I still went back to that church, 669 00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:49,239 Speaker 3: but I did not allow people's behavior to intimidate me 670 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:49,960 Speaker 3: in any way. 671 00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:52,080 Speaker 1: Are you still at that church? 672 00:39:52,960 --> 00:40:00,399 Speaker 3: No? That was in London actually, but no we I've 673 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,440 Speaker 3: moved to Leicester since, so no, I don't go to 674 00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:05,200 Speaker 3: that church. But the funny thing is the same pastor 675 00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:08,360 Speaker 3: she also had to move when we moved, so she 676 00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:12,160 Speaker 3: is still in London, but somewhere else. And a couple 677 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:14,800 Speaker 3: of years ago she invited us to share our testimonies 678 00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:17,719 Speaker 3: in a different church now and also something that God 679 00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:21,799 Speaker 3: lays in our hearts. So we shared that and when 680 00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:25,799 Speaker 3: we came home she called us and she said, guess 681 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:30,680 Speaker 3: what happened? Guys? People in this church told me never 682 00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:33,319 Speaker 3: to invite people like this again. I was like, what, 683 00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:40,720 Speaker 3: so these church people they don't like XOGBT for some reason. 684 00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:44,719 Speaker 1: I don't. Wow, that's so strange. I mean when I 685 00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:47,440 Speaker 1: got saved, it, when I got saved at my church, 686 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:50,920 Speaker 1: I had such like amazing support. I mean I got 687 00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:54,839 Speaker 1: saved in Los Angeles and my pastor was very He 688 00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:58,480 Speaker 1: was from San Francisco and he knew like he just 689 00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:04,400 Speaker 1: knew about the world. And it's so I had to 690 00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:08,040 Speaker 1: I had the opposite experience at my church. Everyone like 691 00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:11,280 Speaker 1: celebrated me when I when they found out that I 692 00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:14,720 Speaker 1: got saved out of that lifestyle. Like everyone celebrated and 693 00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:18,040 Speaker 1: they were so happy for me. So it's it's strange. 694 00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:21,600 Speaker 1: It's bizarre that that that you had those experiences and 695 00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:25,239 Speaker 1: those Christians need to whoever was doing that to you, 696 00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:28,759 Speaker 1: they need to repent because that is not Yeah, they 697 00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:33,000 Speaker 1: need to repent of that. They should be it's like that. 698 00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:35,279 Speaker 1: It's almost like I just see them, see them as 699 00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:38,120 Speaker 1: the older brother and the prodigal son who's like angry 700 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:42,480 Speaker 1: in the corner because someone else got saved. Like what, 701 00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:48,080 Speaker 1: so yeah, so please, if you're watching from those churches, 702 00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:55,160 Speaker 1: repent immediately because it was evil and wicked. But yeah, 703 00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:58,080 Speaker 1: so well praise God. So but now you're you're in 704 00:41:58,160 --> 00:41:59,320 Speaker 1: a good church now. 705 00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:03,359 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, now, we've been in churches where people 706 00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:07,280 Speaker 3: have been very accepting, but we also had the opportunity 707 00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:10,520 Speaker 3: to share our testimonies in different places, in different nations, 708 00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:14,560 Speaker 3: and I noticed that one of the questions that those 709 00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:17,279 Speaker 3: people ask in the churches is, so, what would you 710 00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:20,239 Speaker 3: do if an LGBT person walks into our church? And 711 00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:23,040 Speaker 3: for them to even ask this question is kind of 712 00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:27,320 Speaker 3: allowing to me, because what would you Churches are not equipped. 713 00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:30,279 Speaker 3: I feel that they're not really some churches are not 714 00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:33,280 Speaker 3: equipped on how to deal with people like this even 715 00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:36,080 Speaker 3: if they show up. So I think there's a lot 716 00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:40,279 Speaker 3: of things that we need to kind of enlighten them 717 00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:43,240 Speaker 3: with in that God is doing something in this community 718 00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:46,840 Speaker 3: as well. God is bringing people from that lifestyle in 719 00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:50,680 Speaker 3: every lifestyle, different lifestyle. The harvest is plenty, it's ready. 720 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:54,479 Speaker 3: It's just that the churches need to be on board 721 00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:56,400 Speaker 3: with it. Churches need to be ready as well to 722 00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:59,560 Speaker 3: receive those kind of prodigal sons and daughters. 723 00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:05,200 Speaker 1: Amen. Amen, Well, that's a good exhortation to churches. But 724 00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,480 Speaker 1: thank you Tia for sharing your story. I think it's 725 00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:13,960 Speaker 1: going to It's so powerful and I think it's going 726 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:17,000 Speaker 1: to you know, if anyone is watching who is living 727 00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:20,000 Speaker 1: in that life, even male or female, I think it's 728 00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:23,480 Speaker 1: going to affect them, and we pray that it will 729 00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:26,280 Speaker 1: convict them and they will come to Christ because nothing, 730 00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:29,680 Speaker 1: as you know, I mean, nothing in the world is 731 00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:33,320 Speaker 1: more satisfying than having a relationship with Jesus. 732 00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:34,279 Speaker 3: Absolutely. 733 00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:35,560 Speaker 1: Amen. 734 00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:41,919 Speaker 3: Amen. Amen. Once you've tasted God, you just you can't 735 00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:45,239 Speaker 3: go back. I mean some people ask us like you're 736 00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:49,360 Speaker 3: probably suppressing it. It's far from it. We have every 737 00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:52,719 Speaker 3: freedom to go back into that lifestyle, but because you've 738 00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:56,520 Speaker 3: already been there, it's just never satisfied. You don't want 739 00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:57,719 Speaker 3: to go back, you know, you just want to. 740 00:43:58,360 --> 00:43:59,799 Speaker 1: I always say I don't. I don't want to go 741 00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,240 Speaker 1: back to Egypt. I don't want to go back exactly, 742 00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:07,600 Speaker 1: do not ever want to go back there. So praise God. Well, 743 00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:10,000 Speaker 1: thank you Tia for sharing your story. I appreciate it. 744 00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:11,680 Speaker 3: Thank you for having me. 745 00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:17,040 Speaker 2: Thank you for listening to this episode of The Beckett 746 00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:22,280 Speaker 2: Cook Show. Your support makes this content possible. All episodes 747 00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:25,400 Speaker 2: of The Beckett Cook Show are also available on YouTube. 748 00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:29,480 Speaker 2: For more information about Beckett and his ministry, visit his 749 00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:32,800 Speaker 2: website at Becketcook dot com. 750 00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:34,879 Speaker 1: Thank you to the team at Life Audio for their 751 00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,879 Speaker 1: partnership with us. If you go to lifeaudio dot com, 752 00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:42,000 Speaker 1: you will find more faith centered podcasts about prayer, Bible study, parenting, 753 00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:42,399 Speaker 1: and more.