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Speaker 1: Life Audio. This is Donna Jones and you are listening

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Speaker 1: to That's just what I needed. Hey, friend, if you've

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Speaker 1: ever been in a conversation where you've walked away thinking, Wow,

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Speaker 1: that was just what I needed. You know how life

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Speaker 1: giving that can be, Well, that's what this podcast is

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Speaker 1: all about. We're women who want to know, love, and

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Speaker 1: follow God in our real lives, but sometimes wonder just

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Speaker 1: how to do it. So each week we'll talk about

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Speaker 1: what following God looks like in the midst of daily

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Speaker 1: demands and crazy cultural chaos. Because this isn't just what

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Speaker 1: we need, it's actually exactly what we need. Hey, hey,

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Speaker 1: my friend, welcome to the podcast. I'm so glad you're here. Hey,

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Speaker 1: if we haven't connected on social media, let's fix that.

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Speaker 1: I can be found at Donna A. Jones on Instagram

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Speaker 1: or Donna Jones Speaker and Author on Facebook. And let

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Speaker 1: me tell you a little bit about my social media.

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Speaker 1: I really am intentional about posting things that are encouraging.

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Speaker 1: I really don't like it. This is just a personal thing.

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Speaker 1: When I follow somebody on social media and it makes

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Speaker 1: me feel worse about my life rather than better. I'm

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Speaker 1: guessing you probably feel the same way. So I try

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Speaker 1: to be super encouraging on social media, so I would

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Speaker 1: love to connect with you there. And I wanted to

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Speaker 1: also let you know that I have a monthly newsletter

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Speaker 1: that I send out. Again, it's a dose of spiritual encouragement.

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Speaker 1: So if you need like somebody in your inbox just

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Speaker 1: to be speaking some blessings, speaking some biblical truth into

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Speaker 1: your life, speaking some wisdom into your life, then you

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Speaker 1: can go to my website, Donna Jones dot org and

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Speaker 1: you can sign up to receive that as well. So

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Speaker 1: every once in a while, I think it's just important

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Speaker 1: to let you know how we can connect because this

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Speaker 1: is just such a great community here at the podcast,

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Speaker 1: and I hear so much many great things from you all,

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Speaker 1: and we'll become friends. So I would love to connect

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Speaker 1: with you on a more personal basis. Well. Speaking of

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Speaker 1: a personal topic, we're going to talk today on the

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Speaker 1: podcast about ways we make life harder rather than easier.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you're like me. I'm guessing that

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Speaker 1: you probably are, But I have a tendency to make

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Speaker 1: things harder than they need to be sometimes. I think

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Speaker 1: all of us do, to be honest with you, and

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Speaker 1: yet I don't want life to be any harder than

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Speaker 1: it has to be, right, So, in order to kind

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Speaker 1: of evaluate how am I making life harder rather than easier,

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Speaker 1: sometimes we just have to pause and think of the

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Speaker 1: specific ways that we are making life a little bit

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Speaker 1: more complicated than it needs to be. So, since you

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Speaker 1: may not have time to think through this yourself, I

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Speaker 1: have done the work for you, and we're going to

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Speaker 1: chat about very common ways that all of us can

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Speaker 1: make some adjustments and make our life just a little

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Speaker 1: bit easier. So here is the first way that we

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Speaker 1: can make life harder rather than easier. Overthinking instead of trusting.

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Speaker 1: So some of you right now are nodding your head

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Speaker 1: because you know that you are an overthinker, but others

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Speaker 1: of you are kind of wondering, h does that apply

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Speaker 1: to me? Does that not apply to me? Well, let

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Speaker 1: me give you a couple scenarios. Do you ever replay

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Speaker 1: a conversation over and over? Or do you ever get

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Speaker 1: stuck trying to make the perfect decision? Both of these

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Speaker 1: are examples of overthinking. And overthinking is tricky because it

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Speaker 1: feels productive because we're thinking about the thing, but we're

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Speaker 1: actually not doing anything about the thing. So it feels productive,

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Speaker 1: but it's actually not. I've heard it said that overthinking

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Speaker 1: is just fear wearing a better outfit, and when you

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Speaker 1: really step back and think about it, that it really

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Speaker 1: is what overthinking is. There's some level of fear in

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Speaker 1: us rather than faith or trust, because at some point,

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Speaker 1: more thinking doesn't lead to a better decision, it leads

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Speaker 1: to paralysis. Scripture has a great verse that speaks to this.

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Speaker 1: In fact, this has been my theme verse for twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty six, not necessarily because I chose it, but really

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Speaker 1: because of my circumstances in my life right now. It

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Speaker 1: chose me, and it's Proverbs three five and six. It

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Speaker 1: says trust in the Lord with all your heart, and

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Speaker 1: lean not on your own understanding in all your ways.

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Speaker 1: Acknowledge Him, and he will make your path straight. I

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Speaker 1: bet you I have quoted that Bible verse to myself

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Speaker 1: probably over five hundred times this year already. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I just kind of say it on repeat, because this

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Speaker 1: really is the key for not overthinking things and even

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Speaker 1: more importantly, turning fear or worry into faith. You see,

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Speaker 1: overthinking is lean on our own understanding, but trust, says God.

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Speaker 1: I don't see everything I don't understand everything, but you do.

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Speaker 1: Reality is, we don't need perfect clarity, We need movement

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Speaker 1: with trust. Okay. The second way we make life more

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Speaker 1: complicated than it needs to be waiting instead of obeying.

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Speaker 1: We say things like, well, I'm just waiting for the

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Speaker 1: right time, or I'm waiting until I feel ready, or

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Speaker 1: I'm waiting until God just you know, makes it clear

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Speaker 1: in neon lights. But that version of you, the confident,

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Speaker 1: ready version, is built through action, not before it. And sometimes,

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Speaker 1: and this is so key because I have been guilty

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Speaker 1: of this quote unquote, waiting on God is actually hesitation

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Speaker 1: if God has already made the next step clear. Delaying

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Speaker 1: it doesn't make you wise, It just keeps you stuck.

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Speaker 1: There's a time for everything, and sometimes it's wise not

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Speaker 1: to rush forward before we really thought things through. But obedience,

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Speaker 1: when we know what obedience is, is not meant to

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Speaker 1: be postponed and delayed. Obedience is actually not obedience. It's disobedience,

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Speaker 1: and it makes our life harder rather than easier. Number

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Speaker 1: three avoiding conversations instead of speaking the truth. This is

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Speaker 1: a big one because there's probably a conversation that you've

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Speaker 1: been avoiding and you've avoided it because at some level

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Speaker 1: that feels easier. I mean, we think things like, oh,

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Speaker 1: should I say something? I don't know? And this kind

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Speaker 1: of goes to overthinking and then also waiting. I mean,

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Speaker 1: these all go hand in hand. But we think should

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Speaker 1: I say something? When would I say something? What would

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Speaker 1: I say? How would I say it? We have all

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Speaker 1: these questions. Avoiding it feels easier right now, but it

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Speaker 1: actually makes life harder because it keeps that conversation, that

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Speaker 1: relational problem on repeat in our heads, and it actually

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Speaker 1: ends up having bigger ramifications later. Ephesians four fifteen says

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Speaker 1: we're to speak the truth in love, not aggressively, not silently,

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Speaker 1: honestly with truth, but in love with the right motive.

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Speaker 1: Our conversation doesn't have to be perfect, but it does

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Speaker 1: have to be honest, and it does have to be loving.

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Speaker 1: So if your brain space is getting crowded because of

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Speaker 1: a conversation you dread just narrow it down to these

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Speaker 1: two things. When I have the conversation, I want to

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Speaker 1: shoot for one hundred percent truth and one hundred percent love.

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Speaker 1: Right number four comparing instead of staying focused. It's so

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Speaker 1: easy to look around and compare ourselves isn't it. Someone's

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Speaker 1: doing more, someone's achieving more, someone's having more fun, someone

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Speaker 1: has a better relationship, better kids, better house, better body.

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Speaker 1: You know, all of this stuff. But here's that's something

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Speaker 1: that we don't often think about when we think about comparison.

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Speaker 1: Comparison actually is a distraction away from who we were

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Speaker 1: created to be. Think about that the next time that

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Speaker 1: you start comparing yourself to someone else, Just remember, this

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Speaker 1: is a big distraction keeping me from doing what I

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Speaker 1: am supposed to do and being who I'm supposed to be.

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Speaker 1: In John twenty one, which I love, this passage of scripture,

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Speaker 1: it's after Peter has denied Jesus three times. Jesus has

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Speaker 1: gone to the cross, he has died, and he has

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Speaker 1: resurrected again, and he has this conversation with Peter, and

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Speaker 1: he asked Peter, Peter, do you love me? And Peter says, yes, Lord,

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Speaker 1: you know I love you. And three times Jesus asked

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Speaker 1: Peter the same question, and three times Peter affirms his

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Speaker 1: love for Jesus. But then Peter, it says in John

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Speaker 1: twenty one, does something so interesting. It says, he looks

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Speaker 1: at the disciple John and he says okay, but what

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Speaker 1: about him? What do you going to do with him?

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Speaker 1: In other words, Peter was comparing his path with Jesus

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Speaker 1: to John's path with Jesus, and Jesus doesn't answer Peter's

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Speaker 1: question what about him? Instead, Jesus says, what is that

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Speaker 1: to you? You follow me? Boom mic drop. I love

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Speaker 1: this so much because basically Jesus is like, don't worry

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Speaker 1: about anybody else. That's their path, that's their relationship with me.

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Speaker 1: This is what I want from you. You follow me,

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Speaker 1: and if you are following me, Jesus says, that's all

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Speaker 1: I want from you. So comparison makes our life harder

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Speaker 1: rather than easier, because it takes us off our game

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Speaker 1: and it serves as a distraction and a source of discouragement.

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Speaker 1: Your assignment is yours for a reason. Number five, saying

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Speaker 1: yes when you really mean no. Every time we say

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Speaker 1: yes when we mean know, it costs us something. It

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Speaker 1: cost us our energy, it cost us our peace, it

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Speaker 1: costes our time, and we do it to avoid disappointing people.

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Speaker 1: But then we end up feeling exhausted and overwhelmed and

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Speaker 1: oftentimes resentful. Even Jesus didn't say yes to every demand

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Speaker 1: So why do we think we should when we say

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Speaker 1: yes when we should say no. We're doing it because

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Speaker 1: we don't want to displease someone else, But then we

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Speaker 1: end up displeasing ourselves. And the exhaustion and the emotional

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Speaker 1: turmoil we feel when we're overcommitted and we should have

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Speaker 1: said no, it just makes life harder rather than easier.

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Speaker 1: Number six. Trying to control, trying to control everything is

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Speaker 1: egg exhausting. We try to control outcomes, timing, people, perception,

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Speaker 1: but control is an illusion. We cannot control things outside

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Speaker 1: our control. Here's what I know about women. In the

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Speaker 1: back of our mind, we think most things are under

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Speaker 1: our control, and they're not. They're not, and so we

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Speaker 1: end up just in this perpetual spin cycle of trying

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Speaker 1: to control everything and everyone, and it is an absolute

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Speaker 1: crazy maker. Scripture says, cast all your anxiety upon him,

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Speaker 1: because he cares for you. We talked about that in

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Speaker 1: last week's episode. We can control our effort, but we

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Speaker 1: cannot control the outcome. Peace comes to us when we

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Speaker 1: release what was never ours to carry, and outcomes are

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Speaker 1: never ours to carry. So don't make life harder by

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Speaker 1: trying to control something or someone that you can't. Number

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Speaker 1: seven ignoring the basics. This one's simple, but it is

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Speaker 1: not easy. And when I'm talking about basics, I'm talking

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Speaker 1: about things like sleep, movement, routine, fun. I mean, these

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Speaker 1: are things that we literally have to have them. And

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Speaker 1: if we don't have the things, ugh, life gets heavy

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Speaker 1: and life gets harder. When we are sleep deprived. We

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Speaker 1: can't think straight. When we create no space for fun

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Speaker 1: in our lives, we become depressed. When our life is

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Speaker 1: chaotic and we don't have any semblance of a routine,

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Speaker 1: we end up feeling like we just can't get anything

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Speaker 1: done and we're spending our reels. When there's no exercise

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Speaker 1: or movement or fresh air in our life. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it makes us lethargic and demotivated. So don't make life

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Speaker 1: harder by ignoring the basics. Taking care of yourself isn't extra,

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Speaker 1: it's fundamental. And sometimes the most spiritual things that we

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Speaker 1: can do are sleep, laugh, exercise, any will number eight

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Speaker 1: taking things personally instead of extending grace. Now what do

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Speaker 1: I mean by this and how does this make things harder? Well, newsflash,

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Speaker 1: not everything is about you, Not everything is about me.

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Speaker 1: For instance, someone's mood, a delayed reply, a short response,

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Speaker 1: when we take everything personally, we carry unnecessary weight. Ephesians

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Speaker 1: four thirty two reminds us to be kind and to

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Speaker 1: be compassionate, and to be forgiving. So when we walk

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Speaker 1: and grace, we stop picking up offenses that weren't never

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Speaker 1: meant for us, and it lightens our load when we

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Speaker 1: remember not everything is about us. Number nine, all are nothing.

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Speaker 1: Thinking Sometimes in the back of our mind, it's easy

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Speaker 1: to think, if I can't do it perfectly, then why

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Speaker 1: try now. Very few of us actually verbalize that out loud,

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Speaker 1: but a lot of us live that in real life,

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Speaker 1: and that mindset keeps us stuck. We know we don't

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Speaker 1: need to be perfect. When we hold on to this

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Speaker 1: all or nothing perfectionistic attitude, what it does is it

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Speaker 1: keeps us stuck. It keeps us down, It keeps us

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Speaker 1: from moving forward. It keeps us from trying new things

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Speaker 1: and living the adventure that God created us to live.

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Speaker 1: And it keeps us insecure rather than stepping out and

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Speaker 1: like developing a little bit of security, developing a little

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Speaker 1: bit of confidence in new areas. Is it scary? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: A lot of times it is scary, But when we

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Speaker 1: do it, we find it's usually not as scary as

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Speaker 1: we thought it was in our head, and so it

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Speaker 1: develops something in us that somehow brings confidence, and confidence

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Speaker 1: brings a lighter sense of feeling. When we're insecure, that's

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Speaker 1: a heaviness on us and it makes life harder. But

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Speaker 1: when we're confident, it makes life easier. Number ten, Oh,

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Speaker 1: this is a big one. Seeking validation instead of standing secure,

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Speaker 1: when we're constantly thinking, Okay, what are they thinking? How

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Speaker 1: am I measuring? Uh? Is this good enough? Am I

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Speaker 1: part of the group? Am I getting approval? All of

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Speaker 1: that kind of thing. We're seeking validation from others, and

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Speaker 1: it feels safe when we are validated. But here's why

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Speaker 1: it makes life harder. It keeps us pendent on other

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Speaker 1: people rather than dependent upon God. And God has already said,

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Speaker 1: you are validated because you're mine. You're validated because I

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Speaker 1: bought you with my own blood. So I validated you

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Speaker 1: by giving my very life for you. Our identity isn't

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Speaker 1: found in other people's opinions. It's already established. And when

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Speaker 1: we know who we are, and when we just move differently,

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Speaker 1: we live differently. There's a freedom to us not to

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Speaker 1: constantly be needing other people's approval. And when we have

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Speaker 1: that freedom of security, not only do we feel lighter,

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Speaker 1: but it enables us to freely love other people, and

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Speaker 1: that makes life easier rather than harder. Number eleven never

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Speaker 1: slowing down way. This one can be said for a

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Speaker 1: lot of women. We're always busy, always distracted. We're always

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Speaker 1: filling the space because our culture says that we should.

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Speaker 1: And for some of us, stillness feels uncomfortable. But scripture says,

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Speaker 1: be still and know that I am God. That's Psalm

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Speaker 1: forty six'. Ten stillness is where clarity comes. From if

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Speaker 1: you never slow, down you never hear what matters. Most

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Speaker 1: and if you never slow, down you never connect with

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Speaker 1: the people who matter, most and your life feels like

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Speaker 1: you are living on a constant. Treadmill that is no

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Speaker 1: way to. Live that makes life harder rather than. Easier

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Speaker 1: this next one is, subtle BUT i believe it's the

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Speaker 1: one that more women struggle with than any. Other and

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Speaker 1: it's this we fail to ask for. Help, instead we

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Speaker 1: convince ourselves by, Saying, OKAY i should just be able

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Speaker 1: to handle, this or it's just easier IF i do

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Speaker 1: it on my, own OR i don't want to burden

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Speaker 1: Anyone i'll just figure it. Out but this, mindset it

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Speaker 1: leads to, isolation and often it leads to frustration and

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Speaker 1: an unnecessary. Struggle and when we consistently fail to ask for,

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Speaker 1: help here's what. Happens we become angry and bitter because

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Speaker 1: we think things like can't they just see THAT i need?

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Speaker 1: Help why aren't they helping? Me or we become profoundly,

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Speaker 1: overwhelmed we become. Exhausted in extreme, cases we can even become.

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Speaker 1: Depressed galatians six' to, ii says carry each, other's burdens

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Speaker 1: and in this way you fulfill the Law. Of christ

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Speaker 1: now here's what a lot of. Women do we easily

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Speaker 1: want to carry other. People's burdens so if a friend

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Speaker 1: ask us, for help we're. All in but we have

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Speaker 1: a hard time asking other people to carry. Our burdens

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Speaker 1: we were never meant to do. Life alone so instead

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Speaker 1: of becoming frustrated or angry, or depressed we can just

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Speaker 1: simply ask, our, husband hey could you help pick up

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Speaker 1: the slack in this way or? That way or, you

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Speaker 1: know text a friends, Saying hey i'm having a really,

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Speaker 1: hard day could you just pray for? Me today or

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Speaker 1: maybe asking one of our kids could you help mom

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Speaker 1: do this? Or that when we just proactively ask, for

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Speaker 1: help we actually make our life easier rather. Than harder asking.

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Speaker 1: For help it's, not weakness, it's humility and. It's wisdom

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Speaker 1: sometimes the breakthrough that we're praying for is on the

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Speaker 1: other side of. Simply asking and our last and final

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Speaker 1: way that we can make life harder rather than easier

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Speaker 1: is failing to make Time. For, god boy this really

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Speaker 1: should be, number, one, two, three, four, five six, seventy, nine.

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Speaker 1: Eleven twelve this one is really the key to, it

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Speaker 1: all because, reality is we don't know the best way

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Speaker 1: to live. This life we don't have wisdom in and

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Speaker 1: of ourselves to know the best choices, to make or

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Speaker 1: the best way, to go or the purpose for which

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Speaker 1: we were created Apart from god revealing those things. To

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Speaker 1: us and when we spend Time, for god he can direct,

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Speaker 1: our paths he can lighten. Our loads he can't give us,

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Speaker 1: His perspective he can take away. Our burdens when we

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Speaker 1: pour out our Hearts to god and we talk about

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Speaker 1: all the things that are, going on off all the,

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Speaker 1: hard things things that are making our, Life harder god

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Speaker 1: With His holy spirit and, his word can redirect. Our

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Speaker 1: paths so when we spend Time, with God reading god's Word,

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Speaker 1: the bible which if this is not part of your,

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Speaker 1: Daily routine i'm just telling you, right Now just i'm.

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Speaker 1: Your friend i'm telling you as. A Friend if i'm

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Speaker 1: sitting right in front of you wherever you are, right

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Speaker 1: now if you're in, a WALK if i was walking

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Speaker 1: right next, to you if you are folding, your LAUNDRY

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Speaker 1: if i had a pile, OF laundry i grabbed part

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Speaker 1: of your PILE and i started folding it. With you

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Speaker 1: if you are Driving and i'm in your pause. Interest seat,

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Speaker 1: you're Driving but i'm in your, Pause interested i'm gonna

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Speaker 1: tell you this is. Your friend the biggest thing you

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Speaker 1: need to do is spend time With. The lord and

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Speaker 1: it doesn't need to be like this. Gigantic checklist just Open.

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Speaker 1: Your bible if you are not used to, doing this

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Speaker 1: start With the Gospel, of John fourth book In The

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Speaker 1: new testament and just read one chapter. A day it

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Speaker 1: will literally take you five to. Ten minutes and then

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Speaker 1: spend time Talking to god and really Talk to god

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Speaker 1: like he's your friend that you're in a, relationship with

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Speaker 1: because if you know him As. Your savior you are

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Speaker 1: in a relationship. With him so doesn't that be. Religious

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Speaker 1: sounding it doesn't have to, be this, you know this

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Speaker 1: list of blest this person and, that person although it

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Speaker 1: certainly can. Be that but Talk, to god tell him

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Speaker 1: what's going on in. Your life ask him for, his

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Speaker 1: wisdom thank him for, His presence praise him for who,

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Speaker 1: He is, honor him. WORSHIP him, i mean. Enjoy him.

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Speaker 1: ENJOY him i would have, to say in my personal

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Speaker 1: experience of Walking with jesus, for many, many decades this

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Speaker 1: is the, single thing my Connection, with god the single

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Speaker 1: thing that makes my life easier rather. Than HARDER and

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Speaker 1: i suppose it's simply because this is what we were, created

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Speaker 1: for a Relationship. With, GOD well i hope you enjoyed.

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Speaker 1: TODAY'S episode i hope you found. IT insightful i hope

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Speaker 1: you recognized yourself in a couple of, these AREAS and

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Speaker 1: i hope you pinpoint just one. Or two don't get overwhelmed,

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Speaker 1: and think, HUH okay i want to kind of. Rectify

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Speaker 1: that maybe if you're not getting enough, sleep tonight go

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Speaker 1: to bed a little. Bit earlier maybe if you're, overthinking

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Speaker 1: things decide to trust and. Move forward maybe if you have.

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Speaker 1: Delayed obedience decide, Right now i'm going to DO what

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Speaker 1: i Already know i'm supposed. To do take one or

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Speaker 1: two of these and lighten your low by putting these.

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Speaker 1: Into practice and as, A reminder i would love to

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Speaker 1: connect with you on. Social media you'll find Me AT.

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Speaker 1: Donna a Jones, On Instagram Donna, jones speak an Authora,

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00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 1: on facebook My Website donna jones. Dot org and, as always,

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Speaker 1: MY friend i can't wait to see you, next time

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Speaker 1: for that's JUST what. I needed