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Speaker 1: Life Audio a friend Heather Creekmore here. Glad you're listening

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Speaker 1: to the compared to a podcast. Today, Today I'm going

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Speaker 1: to give you my two best coaching tips. As you

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Speaker 1: may know, I coach women all the time around body

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Speaker 1: magsues how they relate to food, pursuing their health goals

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Speaker 1: without sacrificing their spiritual goals. We dig into all the

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Speaker 1: things here and today, just as we start a new year,

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Speaker 1: I want to give you my two best tips for free,

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Speaker 1: because I want this to be the year when you

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Speaker 1: feel like you can pursue health from a spiritually healthy place.

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Speaker 1: There's nothing more important than your spiritual health. And so

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Speaker 1: often I see women sacrificing their spiritual health or thinking

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Speaker 1: it's okay to put their spiritual health on pause while

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Speaker 1: they pursue physical health in front. It just doesn't work

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Speaker 1: that way. Seek you first the care of God, and

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Speaker 1: then all these things will be added to you. So

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Speaker 1: today I'm going to be my two best tips. Before

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Speaker 1: I do, I want to invite you one last time.

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Speaker 1: Our forty day Journey starts January twentieth, one week from today.

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Speaker 1: If you're listening to this in real time and friend,

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Speaker 1: I need you to be there because you are going

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Speaker 1: to get so much out of it. And if you're

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Speaker 1: a little scared, if you're like, I don't do things

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Speaker 1: like that, I get it. I don't know that I

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Speaker 1: did things like that. But you can go back and

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Speaker 1: listen to the last two episodes where you'll hear from

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Speaker 1: real women like you who started their journey to freedom

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Speaker 1: on the forty Day Body Image Journey and you'll hear

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Speaker 1: their stories, so hear how it went, and they'll tell you, yeah,

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Speaker 1: they were a little scared at first, but oh it

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Speaker 1: was so worth it. And you can stay as quiet

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Speaker 1: or be as chatty as you want to be in

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Speaker 1: the forty Day Journey, but I think it just may

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Speaker 1: change something for you if this is where you're stuck.

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Speaker 1: So you can learn everything you need to learn about

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Speaker 1: the forty day TIS Journey at improvebody Image dot com

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Speaker 1: and look for the forty day Journey tap. Now let's

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Speaker 1: get to today's episode. So a question I get all

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Speaker 1: the time is what is coaching? I mean, there's a

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Speaker 1: zillion coaches out there. You can have a coach for anything,

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Speaker 1: or you can have a life coach for everything, I suppose,

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Speaker 1: but there are some confusion in a round. What's the

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Speaker 1: difference between coaching and counseling, And so before I give

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Speaker 1: you my two tips, I just want to explain that

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Speaker 1: to you so we're all on the same page. What

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Speaker 1: we do here at compared to you could be considered

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Speaker 1: something called nuthetic counseling, And that might sound really fancy,

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Speaker 1: but really what it is is a Biblical way to

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Speaker 1: guide women through their struggles like body image, self worth,

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Speaker 1: feeling stuck in habits or thoughts. So the word nuthetic

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Speaker 1: means to lovingly guide or gently correct. So in practice,

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Speaker 1: what this means is as coaches, we don't just listen

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Speaker 1: to you like maybe a counselor would just be like

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Speaker 1: just talk. Maybe you've done counseling sessions like that where

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Speaker 1: you just do a lot of the talking and they

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Speaker 1: do a lot of listening, and there is, you know,

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Speaker 1: something that feels good about just being listened to. But

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Speaker 1: we're gonna walk with you and apply God's word to

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Speaker 1: the areas of your life where you're struggling. In real

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Speaker 1: practical terms, we are going to apply scripture to what

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Speaker 1: we hear you saying. And so that means we're gonna

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Speaker 1: push back a little bit. It's not all listening on

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Speaker 1: our end. We are going to coach you. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: maybe you were on a sports team as a child

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Speaker 1: and get a coach that was like, hey, your tennis

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Speaker 1: swings a little off, like do it this way, or

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Speaker 1: your kick could be better if you, you know, stood

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Speaker 1: on your back leg more. I don't obviously I didn't

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Speaker 1: play soccer, but we're gonna coach you. We're gonna say, hey,

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Speaker 1: have you thought about this? Do you think you could

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Speaker 1: be stuck because of this? What about the fact that

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Speaker 1: God's word says this, Wow, it sounds like there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of fear here. What does scripture say about this?

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Speaker 1: And unlike other counseling that may rely on psychology or advice,

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Speaker 1: nuthetic counseling points you back to God's truth every single time.

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Speaker 1: It's not Heather's truth, It's God's truth. And we're gonna

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Speaker 1: explore our thoughts, habits, behaviors together, and then we'll work

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Speaker 1: out practical steps, baby steps, not all at once, but

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Speaker 1: baby steps to help you realign those areas of your

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Speaker 1: life where maybe you've kind of gotten off track with

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Speaker 1: the life that God created you to live. Now listen,

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Speaker 1: I am all for counseling. In fact, a lot of

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Speaker 1: our coaching clients have spent some time at counseling and

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Speaker 1: that's fine, but what we do here is different. And

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Speaker 1: you may find that you have a counselor who doesn't

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Speaker 1: really understand your body of issues or doesn't really understand

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Speaker 1: your relationship with food. And that's another advantage to working

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Speaker 1: with us is we get it. We've been there, all

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Speaker 1: of those crazy thoughts that you think you're the only

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Speaker 1: person who has, and you might feel a little embarrassed

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Speaker 1: even say to anyone, trust me, friend, I've thought them,

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Speaker 1: I've lived by them. So that's what we do here

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Speaker 1: in coaching, and it is different than counseling. And I

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Speaker 1: work with a lot of women who have a counselor

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Speaker 1: and then they work with us. If you've never done

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Speaker 1: anything in that realm, it's okay to start with us,

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Speaker 1: and we will be honest and tell you like if

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Speaker 1: there's something that is like kind of outside of the

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Speaker 1: scheme of things that we do, will be like, hey, friend,

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Speaker 1: like we need to send you somewhere, but there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of things that we can work through, talk through,

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Speaker 1: help you guide you in an athetic Counseling way through,

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Speaker 1: and we'd love the opportunity to do that. And that's

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Speaker 1: one reason why I love the forty Day Journey, because

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Speaker 1: it kind of gives you the opportunity to maybe observe

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Speaker 1: what it would look like to work with us in coaching.

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Speaker 1: Because in the forty Day Journey, the participants get to

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Speaker 1: ask questions about the content of the book, and a

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Speaker 1: lot of times those questions are personal because the books

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Speaker 1: are about body image issues, and so you'll hear how

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Speaker 1: I respond and answer the very personal questions that come

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Speaker 1: up there, and you get a feel for whether or

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Speaker 1: not like that's something that would help you. You have

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Speaker 1: similar questions about your life and how things apply to you,

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Speaker 1: you can just kind of observe and then you'll know

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Speaker 1: whether or not the best next step for you would

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Speaker 1: be to do coaching. So let's get to those two

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Speaker 1: coaching tips that you've been waiting for. Okay. Number one,

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Speaker 1: do all things out of love. Okay, A bajillion versus

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Speaker 1: that instruct us in this way right, walk in love,

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Speaker 1: show the world what love really is. Love God, love others.

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Speaker 1: It's a way of obedience to God, following Christ. Let's

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Speaker 1: just go through a couple of them. First Corinthians sixteen fourteen.

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Speaker 1: Let all that you do be done in love Colossians

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Speaker 1: three seventeen. And whatever you do in word or deed,

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Speaker 1: deed action, do everything in the name of the Lord

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Speaker 1: Jesus Colossians three twenty three. Whatever you do work heardily

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Speaker 1: as for the Lord and not for men. Walk in love,

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Speaker 1: as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us

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Speaker 1: Ephesians five one and two. Through love, serve one another

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Speaker 1: Galatians five thirteen and fourteen, First Corinthians thirteen one through three.

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Speaker 1: If I have not love, I am nothing. And so

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Speaker 1: my first coaching tip free friend is ask yourself, why

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Speaker 1: do I want to be healthier? Why do I want

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Speaker 1: to change my body? Often women will tell me that

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Speaker 1: their motivation is love because they want to be able

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Speaker 1: to live longer, love their children or grandchildren better as

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Speaker 1: they're older. And those aren't bad goals at all, But

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Speaker 1: we have to be very careful that it's actually the

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Speaker 1: love of God and others that's motivating us on our

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Speaker 1: health journey, and not love of self or love of

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Speaker 1: our own life. Because if we're driven to exercise or

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Speaker 1: eat a certain way because we're paralyzed with fear about

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Speaker 1: what may happen. If we don't, then that's not love motivated.

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Speaker 1: That's fear motivated. That's fear driven. That's not having faith

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Speaker 1: that God is sovereign and according to the Bible, already

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Speaker 1: knows exactly how many days you are gonna have on

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Speaker 1: this earth. And then remember, Jesus also says, you can't

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Speaker 1: actually add to them. I'm sorry, no matter how hard

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Speaker 1: you work and what you eat, Matthew six twenty seven says,

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Speaker 1: and which of you, by being anxious, can add a

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Speaker 1: single hour to his life span? Oh? Friend, Like I

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Speaker 1: live in Austin near the best longevity expert in the world,

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Speaker 1: and even though he is the best longevity expert in

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Speaker 1: the world, he has no power to add to your lifespan.

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Speaker 1: And you don't either. We're not in control, a friend.

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Speaker 1: You can do everything right and still live a shorter

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Speaker 1: life than you'd hope. What is most important is not

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Speaker 1: you trying to preserve your life. In fact, it kind

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Speaker 1: of makes me think of that verse that if you

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Speaker 1: try to save your life, you lose it. And now

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Speaker 1: the newest buzz that I've heard replacing longevity is this

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Speaker 1: word health span. Like, you're not actually trying to expand

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Speaker 1: how long you live. But you're trying to expand the

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Speaker 1: number of years that you are healthy and independent and

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Speaker 1: can take care of yourself. And that makes sense to me.

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Speaker 1: I don't have any problem with that. That's a noble goal.

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Speaker 1: Go for it. But here's my caveat. If that's your

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Speaker 1: primary goal, if that's the first thing on your to

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Speaker 1: do list, If you can't serve at church or even

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Speaker 1: go to church because you've got health goals to take

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Speaker 1: care of to pursue. If you can't tithe because all

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Speaker 1: of your money is going to your personal trainer and

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Speaker 1: your health equipment and your special foods, and you don't

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Speaker 1: have any money left for God, that's a problem. If

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Speaker 1: you can't be in God's word every day because the

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Speaker 1: gym has to come first, and then you've got work,

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Speaker 1: responsibilities and families, you are missing the point of life. Friend.

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Speaker 1: You are storing up treasure here in vain. You're investing

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Speaker 1: in something that's fleeting, even if you end up being

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Speaker 1: the most mobile ninety nine year old the planet has

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Speaker 1: ever seen. Friend, that's still just aspect in the realm

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Speaker 1: of eternity. Don't gain the whole world with your health

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Speaker 1: goals and lose your soul. It does matter what comes first.

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Speaker 1: Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and then all

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Speaker 1: these things will be added to you. And if it's

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Speaker 1: too scary to think about releasing some control in this

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Speaker 1: area or be on the opposite side of the spectrum,

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Speaker 1: maybe it's too scared to think about doing something proactive

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Speaker 1: in this area, reach out to us. We'd be honored

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Speaker 1: to walk with you and dig into why you felt

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Speaker 1: like you needed to retain such tight control and work

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Speaker 1: with you on ways to gently surrender to our good God,

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Speaker 1: who gives us the Holy Spirit to lead us and

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Speaker 1: guide us so we don't have to rely on our

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Speaker 1: own wisdom or our own strength. And we'll walk with

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Speaker 1: you and I grace filled loving way. We're not trying

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Speaker 1: to beat you up with a Bible. We just want

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Speaker 1: to encourage your heart and bring you back to the

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Speaker 1: only place you really will find life, and that's in Jesus.

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Speaker 1: So what is your motivation for getting healthier? It has

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Speaker 1: to be love. You need to be rooted and grounded

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Speaker 1: in love. Then that filters all of your decisions through

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Speaker 1: a process. You could ask yourself the question before you

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Speaker 1: make every health related decision is this loving to God

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Speaker 1: and others? If I tend this dinner that my friend's

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Speaker 1: made for me and I choose not to eat the

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Speaker 1: gift of food that they prepared, is that loving? Now?

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Speaker 1: For sure, you don't have to clean your break plate,

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Speaker 1: you don't have to eat foods that make you sick,

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Speaker 1: et cetera, et cetera. But I'm talking about your heart posture.

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Speaker 1: Are you more concerned about the size and shape of

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Speaker 1: your body than anything else? Like, let's be honest, friend,

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Speaker 1: Like I've done this and there's no shame coming from me.

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Speaker 1: But there are ways that the pursuit of me and

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Speaker 1: my goals make me unloving to others. Perhaps it's never

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Speaker 1: eating dinner with my family because I had to prepare

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Speaker 1: a special meal with my special foods, and I would

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Speaker 1: prepare my special meal with my special foods while everyone

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Speaker 1: else is eating, and then I eat alone later after

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Speaker 1: everyone's doe. Like, friend, if sounds that you're doing, oh stop,

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Speaker 1: please stop. There is copious amounts of data out there

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Speaker 1: around the importance of family dinner and how that is

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Speaker 1: literally the variable that all these studies show will keep

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Speaker 1: your kids out of drugs and risky behaviors. Eating family

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Speaker 1: dinner together is so so important, And if you're choosing

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Speaker 1: not to eat with your family to meet your weight

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Speaker 1: loss goals, you've got to decide if that's loving them well,

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Speaker 1: Like yeake, I know I stepped on some toes there.

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Speaker 1: If you feel like you have to have your special food,

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Speaker 1: figure out a way to eat it with everyone. Don't

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Speaker 1: sit there not eating either, because that will communicate dangerous

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Speaker 1: messages to your children about who deserves to eat and

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Speaker 1: who doesn't. So as you pursue a healthier lifestyle, just

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Speaker 1: ask yourself with every decision, is this loving to God

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Speaker 1: and others? And it's going to be case by case.

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Speaker 1: There's no hard, infest rule about what is loving and

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Speaker 1: what is not loving. It's not necessarily loving to go

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Speaker 1: to the gym at six and not loving to go

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Speaker 1: to the gym at seven. Like it's going to vary

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Speaker 1: depending on your situation and week to week and day

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Speaker 1: to day and who is God putting in front of

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Speaker 1: you to love right now, You're gonna have to rely

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Speaker 1: on the Holy Spirit to guide you, not what influencers

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Speaker 1: say you should do. It's not going to be rigid.

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Speaker 1: Most of the suggestions that you are getting online are

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Speaker 1: going to be self focused, to put self first, like

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Speaker 1: sacrifice everything for your own routines. You can meet your goals,

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Speaker 1: but friend, that's not a spirit guided life. Ask the

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Speaker 1: Holy Spirit to show you how to be loving in

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Speaker 1: all things, including your health goals. Now, my second coaching

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Speaker 1: tip that's a doozy, it's coming up right after this

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Speaker 1: quick break. Coaching tip number two is get a new

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Speaker 1: accountability partner. And I'm not talking about your friend that

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Speaker 1: you walk with or that you talk about macros with.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna shock you with this one, Okay, So let

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Speaker 1: me back up just a second. Set the stage for this.

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Speaker 1: Why are you pursuing your health goals? What drives you

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Speaker 1: to do that worked out or eat that spinach and

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Speaker 1: kale salad over the burger that you want into order?

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Speaker 1: And we already talked about asking yourself is it love?

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Speaker 1: But if it's not love, and let's go a little

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Speaker 1: deeper here, let me speculate, is it shame and condemnation

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Speaker 1: that's driving you? Now? See if this sounds true for you,

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Speaker 1: if I don't go work out, then I'm gonna have

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Speaker 1: to deal with this voice in my head that's gonna

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Speaker 1: shame me all day long. For skipping that workout. It's

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Speaker 1: gonna yell at me, it's gonna be mean to me,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna tell me how awful I am because I

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Speaker 1: didn't go work out. So I go work out so

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Speaker 1: that I don't have to hear that voice. Or maybe

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Speaker 1: it's like this, if I eat the thing that I

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Speaker 1: said I wouldn't eat, like those girl Scout cookies, what

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Speaker 1: will torment me as I try to go to sleep

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Speaker 1: is the fact that I ate the cookies. When I

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Speaker 1: said I wasn't gonna eat the cookies. I said, after Christmas,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna eat any cookies anymore, no more cookies ever.

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Speaker 1: And then that little girl Scout showed up and I

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Speaker 1: got the thin mince and I ate the cookies when

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Speaker 1: I said I wouldn't eat the cookies. And you hate

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Speaker 1: how those voices shame you. How you lay down in

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Speaker 1: bed and that's all you hear. You eat these cookies

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Speaker 1: so awful? Why did you eat those cookies? You said

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Speaker 1: you weren't gonna eat those cookies. Where's your willpower? You

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Speaker 1: don't have any willpower at all. You're so undisciplined, you're

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Speaker 1: so out of control. I can't believe you eat those

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Speaker 1: cookies when you said you weren't gonna eat those cookies. Friend,

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Speaker 1: if these are your motivators for pursuing your health goals,

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Speaker 1: these voices of shame and condemnation, If these voices are

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Speaker 1: so loud, friend, I want you to ask yourself, is

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Speaker 1: this why you're pursuing health goals? And then ask yourself

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Speaker 1: another follow up question, do you actually believe that you

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Speaker 1: can get healthy enough to make those voices shut up?

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Speaker 1: Because if you believe these voices are helping you, and

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Speaker 1: I hear this all the time, like, I'm kind of

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Speaker 1: afraid to make the shame and condemnation go away, because

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Speaker 1: those are the reasons that I exercise. Those are the

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Speaker 1: reasons that I don't eat the cookies because I can't

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Speaker 1: handle how loud and me and these voices are. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna make them shut up by being quote unquote good friend.

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Speaker 1: If this is how you're living, then wait for it. Ah.

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Speaker 1: You've made the devil the enemy of your soul. You've

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Speaker 1: made him your accountability partner. You're saying, I need his

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Speaker 1: voice of shame and condemnation to meet my health slash

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Speaker 1: fitness slash diet goals. You were saying Satan is your

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Speaker 1: accountability partner? What that's crazy? And yet and yet, oh, friend,

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Speaker 1: I hear this all the time. Every week in coaching,

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Speaker 1: I hear this. I'm kind of afraid to make those

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Speaker 1: voices go away. It's a little scary to think about

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Speaker 1: being nice to myself. It's a little scary to think

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Speaker 1: about being guided by the Holy Spirit, whose voice is kind,

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Speaker 1: because it kind of helps me that these mean voices

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Speaker 1: are gonna be there unless I do the thing. And

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Speaker 1: so I don't know if I want the mean voices

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Speaker 1: to go away? What a friend? Track with me here?

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Speaker 1: You know that's not the voice of the Holy Spirit.

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Speaker 1: I mean, maybe you don't know, right, because I think

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Speaker 1: sometimes we can have a distorted concept of God where

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Speaker 1: we actually think He would speak to us in that mean,

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Speaker 1: judgy way. I do meet clients who think that it's

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Speaker 1: God telling them they're a fat slob, and it's God

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Speaker 1: telling them that if they eat that cookie, they're bad.

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Speaker 1: They maybe call it gluttony or something else. Right, But friend, oh,

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Speaker 1: those are not the voice of the Holy Spirit, the comforter.

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Speaker 1: He is the wise, guiding voice that helps us with

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Speaker 1: every part of our daily lives. Right, And maybe you've

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Speaker 1: heard this sad about Jesus, but it's good to remember

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Speaker 1: it's his kindness that leads us to repentance. If you

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Speaker 1: want to change, Jesus's way to change is through kindness,

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Speaker 1: not through shame and condemnation and berating you. Those voices

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Speaker 1: of shame and condemnation are the devil. And if you're

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Speaker 1: trying to exercise or eat your way into being good

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Speaker 1: enough to shut him up, let me assure you he's

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Speaker 1: not going to be proud of you when you accomplish

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Speaker 1: your goals. He's not going to just let you go

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Speaker 1: when you meet that weight loss goal, fitness goal. He

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Speaker 1: just keeps going. In fact, that's why so many women

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Speaker 1: have serious eating disorders. He starts them off on a

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Speaker 1: health journey, but he wants to take them to their death.

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Speaker 1: Remember he's not on your side. He comes to steal, kill,

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Speaker 1: and destroy John ten ten. There's no halfway about it.

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Speaker 1: His voice of shame and condemnation isn't helping you and

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Speaker 1: maybe motivating you, but not in a good way. Instead,

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Speaker 1: it's stealing from you. It's quietly killing you. You are

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Speaker 1: in bondage. If this is the voice guiding you, you

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Speaker 1: are a slave. To something that's not Jesus. You are

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Speaker 1: a slave to the enemy, and that's not good. Let's

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Speaker 1: take it one step further. There's also like a theology

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Speaker 1: issue at play, because if you believe that you can

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Speaker 1: beat the enemy like fighting in his way, like he

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Speaker 1: says you need to exercise more, and you exercise more,

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Speaker 1: thinking this is how I'm going to defeat him, then

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Speaker 1: that's you trying to defeat the enemy on his terms.

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Speaker 1: This is you trying to prove to the devil that

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Speaker 1: you are good enough the friend you're not only Jesus was,

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Speaker 1: and he's already defeated him, and the work is finished,

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Speaker 1: and you can rest in that work. You cannot defeat

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Speaker 1: fear or the devil by outworking it. You cannot defeat

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Speaker 1: shame by proving it wrong. You have to rest. You

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Speaker 1: are invited to rest in what Jesus has already done

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Speaker 1: to defeat fear and shame. Friend, you can't exercise or

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Speaker 1: eat enough kale to get it done. And then once

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Speaker 1: you can rest in that, once you understand, okay, wait,

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Speaker 1: Jesus already took care of all of this. I don't

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Speaker 1: have to live by fear and shame. Then when you

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Speaker 1: try to achieve your health goals. Then you can do

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Speaker 1: it from a place of enoughness through Christ. And only

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Speaker 1: through Christ are you enough. And then you don't have

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Speaker 1: to prove that you're enough because you didn't skip that workout,

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Speaker 1: or you worked out really hard, or you ate a

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Speaker 1: certain way. Then you can pursue health goals knowing you're

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Speaker 1: already accepted. You're already so much more loved than you

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Speaker 1: ever could imagine. You are free from shame. You can

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Speaker 1: turn off the conversation with the devil, who is the

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Speaker 1: worst health coach ever, and turn on the conversation with

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Speaker 1: the Holy Spirit. Ask him to gently convict and guide

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Speaker 1: you in this area. When you don't feel like getting

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Speaker 1: up off the couch to exercise, listen for still small

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Speaker 1: voys to say, it'd be good to move your body,

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Speaker 1: the body I gave you today. It will gentle and kind.

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Speaker 1: It won't be you big fat slob. You don't move

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Speaker 1: your butt, you're going to get so fat that no

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Speaker 1: one will love you and you'll be lonely and gross. Friend,

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Speaker 1: that's not the Holy Spirit. And so as we close today,

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Speaker 1: I want you to just ask yourself two questions. How

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Speaker 1: am I doing pursuing my health goals out of love?

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Speaker 1: And number two, who's my accountability partner? Do I need

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Speaker 1: a new one? Am I motivated by shame and condemnation

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Speaker 1: and guilt? Do I need to change the way I'm

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Speaker 1: pursuing my health goals? Friend, if you want this year

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Speaker 1: to be different, these are the two most important questions

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Speaker 1: you can ask, because I promise you that devil is

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Speaker 1: going to tell you that you cannot possibly get there

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Speaker 1: without him. And let me remind you he's a liar.

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Speaker 1: He's a liar. Oh, friend, try a new way this year? Hey,

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Speaker 1: maybe join us on the forty day Journey. This whole

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Speaker 1: concept of a Satan your accountability partner came from my book,

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Speaker 1: The Forty Day Body Image Workbook. Even if you don't

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Speaker 1: want to do a forty day journey, you can grab

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Speaker 1: that book on Amazon. You can work through the questions

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Speaker 1: by yourself. I think it'll be more helpful to work

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Speaker 1: through them in community because we go deep. But you

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Speaker 1: can grab the book by yourself and get started, and

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Speaker 1: maybe you'll want to join us on a future forty

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Speaker 1: day journey. The books available everywhere books are sold. But

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Speaker 1: don't wait, run. I'm okay with you. Pursuing your health goals,

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Speaker 1: but seek you first the Kingdom of God. I hope

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Speaker 1: this has encouraged you today, and I hope something today

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Speaker 1: has helped you stop comparing then start living. Good bye bye.

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Speaker 1: Compared to a podcasts is proud to be called a

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Speaker 1: Life Audio podcast network for more great Christian podcasts called

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Speaker 1: a Life Boudio dat